9 Ngā Tohu Pono e Huri Ana te Whakaaro o tō Wahine mō te Wehenga

Te āhua nei kua pā tō kōrua ki te pakitara i roto i tō kōrua marena. He maha ngā tautohe kino, ngā kupu i whakawhitiwhitia, ā, kua puta te kupu "D" whakamataku. Kei te taumaha te ngakau pouri i runga i tō kōrua marena, ā, kei te whakaaro koe mēnā koinei te mutunga. Kātahi ka puta ngā tohu. He tohu kei te huri te whakaaro o te wahine mō te whakarere. Koinā rānei tāu e tumanako nei. I runga i ngā mea katoa kua tupu, kei te ruarua tonu koe, ā, kei te whakaaro koe, "Kei te huri te whakaaro o ngā wāhine mō te whakarere?"

Āe, he āhua rerekē te āhua o te tangata, ahakoa mō ngā whakataunga nui o te ao pēnei i te whakarere. Nō reira, āe, tera pea he tohu tūturu kei te huri te whakaaro o tō wahine mō te whakarere. Mā te āwhina a te kaiwhakaora hinengaro Sampreeti Das (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro Haumanu me te Kairangahau Tohu Paerua), he tohunga ki te Whakaora Whanoke Ā-roto me te Hinengaro Whakaora Whānui me te Whakawhiti, kua kohia e mātou ētahi tohu kei te whakaaro anō tō wahine ki te whakarere, ā, kei te tuwhera ki te tuku atu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki tō marena, me ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi mēnā ka kite koe i ēnei tohu.

Ka Hurihia e Ia Tōna Whakaaro Mō Te Wehe? 5 Ngā Take Ka Pērā Pea Ia

Ina kī mai tō wahine e hiahia ana ia ki te whakarere, ka huripokitia tō ao katoa. I runga i te nui o te āhuatanga, kāore tō wahine i whakatau ngāwari ki te whakarere. Nō reira, he āhua koretake te tumanako ka huri ia i tōna whakaaro, ka hoatu he whai wāhitanga tuarua ki te marena. Engari ka taea tonu. Inaa, he ako e kī ana ko te haurua o aua mea te whakaaro mō te whakarere ka huri i ō rātou whakaaro i roto i te tau kotahi.

Nō reira, ehara i te mea onge te whakaaro tuarua mō te whakarere. Ahakoa kua tata pakaru tō kōrua marena, ā, kua mārama te whakaatu a tō wahine ki a koe e hiahia ana ia ki te wehe, ehara i te wawata noa te whakaaro, "Ka huri rānei ia i tana whakaaro mō te whakarere?". Anei ētahi take e rima pea e whiriwhiri ai ia ki te noho marena me te whakaaro anō ki tana whakatau whakarere:

Te pānui e pā ana: He pai ake te whakarere, te noho pōuri rānei i roto i te marena? Whakatau a te tohunga

1. Kāore ia e hiahia kia mamae te whānau

"Kei te kite ahau i ngā tohu e hiahia ana taku wahine kua wehea kia houhia te rongo. He aha te take i pērā ai?" Tērā pea koe e whakaaro ana. Āe, ki te mea kua roa kōrua e moe ana, ā, he tamariki ā kōrua, kāore pea he pānga o tana whakatau kia noho moe tahi ki te āhua o tō kōrua marena. Kāore pea ia e hiahia kia pāngia ngā tamariki e te mamae kare ā-roto o te mātakitaki i te pakaru o tō rātou whānau.

Tērā pea, he pai ake ki a ia kia haere koe ki tētahi kaiwhakaora whānau, ki tētahi kaitohutohu rānei mō te tokorua, kia kitea ai he huarahi hei noho tahi mā kōrua. Nā, ahakoa te noho i roto i te marena pouri mō ngā tamariki He kōwhiringa whakaaro nui tēnei, ā, me kōrero mō tētahi atu wā. Engari koinei pea te take e kore ai ia e tīmata i te tukanga whakarere.

2. He nui rawa te utu mō te whakarere māna e whakamanawanui ai

Ehara hoki tēnei i te tino take aroha e hoki whakamuri ai te wahine i tana whakatau ki te whakarere i a koe. Engari he take tika, ā, he ako E whakaatu ana ko te 15% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua mārenatia e whiriwhiri ana kia noho wehe, kaua e whakarere ā-ture mō tēnei take tonu. Ko te utu i ngā rōia ngaio, me te uru atu ki tētahi pakanga ture mō te wehewehenga o ngā rawa, he mea tino uaua ki te taha pūtea, he mea tino mamae hoki ki te hinengaro.

Tērā pea kāore i tō hoa wahine te moni hei utu i ngā whakapaunga o te tukanga whakarere, kāore rānei ia e whakaaro he pai te whakapaunga. Tērā pea he kōwhiringa whakaaro nui ake te noho marena i te ngaro o ngā mea katoa hei whakarite i te whakarere.

3. Kāore ia e hiahia kia ngaro koe

Ahakoa ngā kare ā-roto kino katoa, ngā kupu riri, ngā pakanga, me ngā taupatupatu, kāore tō wahine i te rite ki te ngaro i a koe. Ko ngā whanaungatanga tangata, inā koa ko ngā whanaungatanga roa pēnei i te marena, he maha ngā wā he uaua rawa, he paparanga hoki, kāore e taea te uru ki roto i ngā hononga rua o te 'angitu' me te 'kore angitu'. Ki te kaha te whakaaro o tō wahine ahakoa kei a koe tō wāhi raruraru hononga, kāore anō kia tino memeha te aroha i huihui ai kōrua, tera pea ka tīmata koe ki te kite i ngā tohu kei te huri te whakaaro o tō wahine mō te whakarere.

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4. E whakaaro ana ia ko ia te kawenga mō ō raruraru marena

"I kaha tonu taku wahine ki te hiahia kia whakarere. E ono marama māua e noho motuhake ana. Engari i ēnei rā tata nei, te āhua nei kei te memeha haere te hukapapa i waenganui i a māua. Kei te toro mai ia ki ahau, ā, kua mahana ake, kua pai ake hoki ā māua kōrero. He tohu ēnei nāku?" e hiahia ana te wahine kua wehea ki te houhanga rongo?” I pātai atu tēnei pātai ki ngā tohunga o te rōpū a Bonobology, tētahi kaipānui i hiahia kia noho ingoakore.

Hei whakautu, Sampreeti e kī ana, "Tērā pea kei te ruarua ngā whakaaro o tō wahine mō te whakarere. Ko tētahi o ngā take e puta ai tēnei, ko te mōhio o te tangata i hiahia ki te whakarere kua whai wāhi atu rātou ki ngā raruraru marena i arahi ai te tokorua ki te pari. Mā tēnei ka whakatupu te tumanako mēnā ka whakapau kaha ngā hoa tokorua, ka taea e rāua te tīmata i tētahi upoko hou i roto i tō rāua oranga marena."

5. Kua pāngia ia e tētahi huringa nui o tōna ao

I ētahi wā, ko ngā āhuatanga o waho te take i huri ai te whakaaro o tō wahine mō te whakarere. Tērā pea kua pāngia ia e te mataku hauora, kua pāngia rānei ia e te mate i te wā i wehe ai kōrua. Tērā pea rānei kua uru ia ki te rongoā hei whakaora i te pouri o tana wahine. te marena e mate ana. Mā tētahi o ēnei wheako ka huri pea i tana tirohanga ki te āhuatanga, ka mōhio ai ia he poto rawa te ao hei pupuri i te mauahara. Koia ia kāore ai e hiahia ki te whakahaere i ngā tukanga whakarere.

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Me pēhea taku mōhio mēnā kei te huri whakaaro taku wahine mō te whakarere?

"I whakatau māua kia mutu te whanaungatanga nā te mea kua kore māua e taurite. Ahakoa i mamae tōku ngākau i te kōrero ki ngā rōia, i whakapau kaha ahau kia mau tonu te wairua. I tētahi pō, whai muri i ētahi waeatanga kino ki ā māua rōia, ka tangi ahau i mua i a ia, ka kōrero atu ki a ia te uaua o te pā ki tēnei āhuatanga," te kōrero a Mack ki a māua.

"Ahakoa kāore au i tino whakaaro nui mō te "ka huri te whakaaro o taku wahine mō te whakarere" ā, kāore hoki au i tono kia whakaarohia anō e ia, i kite ahau i ētahi tohu o te whakaaro tuarua mō te whakarere i roto i a ia mai i taua wā. I tīmata māua ki te kōrero nui atu, ā, i kite māua tera pea ka taea e māua te whakamātau anō. I tēnei wā, i whakarite māua kia arotahi ki te whakatairanga i te ngā mea e whai hua ai te whanaungatanga," tāna tāpiri. Ina kei roto koe i tētahi āhuatanga ōrite, me te whakaaroaro tonu, "Ka huri rānei tōna whakaaro mō te whakarere?", tērā pea ehara i te whakaaro pai.

He nui rawa ngā kōrero kua kōrerotia, ā, he nui rawa ngā mea kāore anō kia kōrerotia. He kare ā-roto kino, he mamae hoki. Kei te tumanako koe ki ngā tohu pono kei te huri te whakaaro o tō wahine mō te whakarere, engari ko tāu noa iho he tatari, he mātakitaki, he whakaaroaro. Nā te mea, ki te mea ko ia te tangata i hiahia ki te wehe atu, me tuku e koe ki tō wahine te whakatau mēnā e hiahia ana ia ki te haere tonu me te whakarere. I tēnei wā mamae, ki te mea kei te pupuri koe i te tumanako ka hoatu e ia he whai wāhi tuarua ki a koe, kei konei mātou hei whakapakari i tō wairua me ngā tohu pono e iwa kei te huri te whakaaro o tō wahine mō te whakarere:

1. Te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero pai ake

He maha ngā kōrero kua kōrerotia, he rite ki tētahi kīwaha noa iho, engari he pono! Ko te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero te mea nui ki tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, ā, raruraru korero ā, ko ngā pakaru te pūtake o te korenga o te marena, te hinganga rānei. He mea maori te taenga mai o tō marena ki tōna taumata nā te koretake o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Tērā pea i ngā wā tata nei, kua noho puku, kua whawhai, kua kōrero whakatoi rānei, engari koinā anake. Kātahi ka huri whakarere.

Ki te mea kei te rapu koe i ngā tohu kei te whakaaro anō tō wahine ki te whakarere, ko te mea kua tīmata ia ki te kōrero pai ake he tohu pai. Ko te tikanga he nui tōna aroha ki a koe me tō kōrua marena kia kaha ai ia ki te whakapau kaha. He taahiraa pai tēnei ki te whakatika i tō kōrua marena pakaru, me te huri i tō whakaaro mō te wehenga.

"He nui te kōrero a te whanonga reo mō ngā whāinga o te tangata," te kī a Sampreeti, "Mēnā kei te huri te ihirangi me te reo o te kōrero a te hoa ki te pai ake, tera pea kei te ruarua ō rāua whakaaro mō te whakarere. Kāore pea rāua e whakaae i ngā wā katoa kei te ruarua ō rāua whakaaro; engari, ka taea e rāua te kōrero mō ngā āwangawanga noa pēnei i ngā tamariki, ngā mea e pā ana ki te whare, me ērā atu mea, e whakaatu ana kei te whakaaroaro rāua ki ngā mea e pupuri ana i a kōrua."

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2. Te whanaungatanga ā-tinana ohorere

Ko ngā mahi whakaipoipo, te pā ā-tinana, me te aroha ētahi o ngā mea tuatahi ka mahue ina pāngia te marena e ngā raruraru. Mena kua tae ki te wā e kōrerohia ana te whakarere, e whakaaro ana mātou kāore kōrua i tino whai wā whakaipoipo i ēnei rā. Ahakoa te pupuri ringa noa, te pā atu rānei ki te ringa.

Nā, ki te rerekē tēnā, tera pea kei te whakaaro koe, "Kei te ruarua taku wahine mō te whakarere?" Hei whakatau i tētahi whakatau tuturu, kia aro nui atu ki te reo o tōna tinana, ā, tirohia:

• Kei te noho tata atu ia ki a koe i runga i te tūru i a koe e mātaki ana i te pouaka whakaata i muri i te tina?
• Ka pā ia i tōna ringa ki tō ringa ina ngana ana ia ki te whakamārama i tētahi mea ki a koe?
• He nui ngā titiro kanohi whai tikanga i te tēpu kai?
• Kua piki ake te pā o ngā hononga ā-tinana?
• He āhua manaaki, he atawhai hoki tōna?
• Ā, ko te mea nui rawa atu, kua tukuna mai e ia ētahi tohu, ētahi mahi ātaahua rānei e kī ana kei te hiahia ia ki te moe tahi?

Ahakoa te āhua nei kāore e taea e koe te whakarere i te whakaaro o tō hoa rangatira mō te whakarere, mā ētahi tohu pai o te reo tinana pea ka kitea he rerekē. Kei te ngaro ia i te piripono i waenganui i a ia me koe, ā, ko ana mahi ki te whakakī i taua āputa tetahi o ngā tohu tino kitea kei te whakaaro anō ia ki te whakarere. Te whakawhanaunga tinana Ko tētahi o ngā tūāpapa o tētahi whanaungatanga hauora, ā, ko te ngaronga o taua whanaungatanga ka waiho hei pūtake mō te takahanga o te marena. Nō reira, ki te tīmata tō wahine ki te tono i ngā mea hou i muri i ngā marama kāore he pa atu tinana, kāore hoki he aroha, he tohu pai tēnā kei te hiahia tonu ia ki a koe, kei te hiahia kia angitu te marena, ā, nō reira kei te whakaaro anō ia ki te whakarere.

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3. Kei te aro atu ia ki ō hiahia

Ko ngā mea ririki, e ai ki tā rātou. Ko ngā mea ririki engari he mea nui rawa atu, e hanga ana i te whanaungatanga. Ā, ina raru te marena, ā, ina puta te whakarere, ka warewarehia ēnei mea ririki, ā, ka kino noa iho te āhua.

Ki a Will rāua ko Lorraine, he rite tonu ki te hoki ki ngā rā tōmua o te marena. "Kua pāngia rawatia māua," te kī a Will, "Ko te āhua nei kua uaua haere te pupuri i tā māua marena i ia rā, i ia rā. Kāore rawa he mea hei kōrero mā māua tetahi ki tetahi, me te kore rawa e whakaatu i tetahi tohu aroha. Kāore māua i te kī 'mōrena', 'mōrena' rānei. I haere noa māua i ō māua oranga me te mea he tokorua tauhou e noho tahi ana i te whare kotahi. I kite ahau i ngā tohu e haere mai ana te wehenga, ā, kāore au i te mōhio me aha ahau."

Engari te āhua nei kei te huri haere te whakaaro o Lorraine mō te tuku i tana marena. "I tīmata ia ki te mahi i ngā mea i mahia e ia i te wā i marena tuatahi ai māua," te tāpiri a Will, "Ka whakarite ia kia whakatakotoria aku huaora ki runga i te tēpu parakuihi. Mena he hui nui tāku i te mahi, i mōhio ia kāore he wā mōku ki te haere ki waho mō te tina, nō reira ka tākai ia i ngā toenga kai māku. Kāore ia i te kōrero nui, engari ko ana mahi kei reira hei tirotiro māku."

"He maha ngā āhuatanga ka pā mai i ngā panonitanga iti o ngā whanonga. Tērā pea kei te aro nui ake rātou, kei te ngāwari ake rānei te urutau ki tō mahinga o ia rā. Tērā pea ka tīmata rātou ki te whakapāha māori ake ina whakaaro rātou kua hē rātou, kaua ki te noho puku, ki te whakapae rānei i tā rātou hoa. Ko te noho tahi i roto i te marena me te kāinga he mea nui ki te nga tohu aroha iti "me ngā mahi whakaaro nui e mahia ana e tātou mā ō tātou hoa. Ina hoki mai tēnei whakaaro nui ki te marena, ka taea tonu te houhanga rongo ahakoa kua kī te wahine e hiahia ana ia ki te whakarere," te whakamārama a Sampreeti.

4. Kua mutu tana whakahua i te kupu "D"

He nui ā mātou kōrero mō ngā reo aroha, engari he maha ngā momo reo i roto i te marena. He reo whawhai, he reo "kua mutu tā tāua marena". Ko te whakapuaki i tō hiahia ki te wehe i tō hoa, mā te whakamahi i ngā kupu pēnei i te "wehe", te "wehe" rānei, ehara i te mea ngāwari. Mena kua kōrero nui tō wahine mō tōna hiahia ki te wehe i mua engari kāore i kōrerotia i ēnei rā, he tohu whakatenatena tēnei. Tērā pea ka kite koe,

• Ahakoa kua kōrero koe mō te whakamutu i te marena, kāore anō ia kia tuku atu i ngā pepa whakarere ki a koe.
• Kāore ia e whakautu ana ki tetahi mea, ki ngā mea katoa e mea ana koe, "E te Atua, e hiahia ana ahau ki te whakarere i a koe!"
• Kāore ia i utu i tētahi ope rōia ngaio hei whakarite kia whiwhi ia i tana tika i roto i te whakarere.
• Kāore ia i tīmata i tētahi kōrero/whiriwhiringa mō te wehewehenga o ngā rawa, te tautoko tamariki, ngā mana pupuri tamariki, me ērā atu mea.

Ko te tikanga, kei te whakaroa te tukanga whakarere, ā, tera pea ka pai haere ngā mea. Heoi, ehara tēnei i te kī ka hoki mai ngā wā pai. He nui tonu ngā mahi hei mahi māu kia mōhio ai koe ki te tikanga o te kore e whai i te whakarere. Ka taea e te whakarongo te whakapai ake i tētahi whanaungatanga. Kia tino whakarongo kōrua ki tāu wahine, kia kimi tahi ai kōrua i ngā huarahi e taea ai e kōrua te hanga anō i tō kōrua marena.

5. E whakaatu ana ia i ngā tohu o te hae

Ina mate te aroha, kāore koe e aro ki te tangata e noho tahi ana tō hoa, kāore hoki koe e whakaaro ki ngā waeatanga pō, ki te take rānei e mahi pō ana rātou i te nuinga o ngā pō o te wiki. Inaa, ko tēnei momo kore aro tetahi o ngā tohu tuatahi kei te haere mai te wehenga. I tetahi atu taha, ko te manaaki, te āwangawanga, me te iti noa o te te hae i roto i te whanaungatanga He tohu kaha katoa ēnei e kī ana kāore i te ngaro ngā tumanako katoa.

"I tino wehe kē māua ko taku wahine, ko Sue," te kī a Sean, he kaipānui nō Taos, "Ko te tikanga noa iho - te wahangu, te hamama, me te nuinga, te kore aro ki ngā mahi a tetahi atu. Kua mutu tā māua pātai tetahi ki tetahi mō ō māua wāhi noho mō ngā marama." I te wā i tīmata ai a Sean i tētahi kaupapa hou i te mahi, he maha ngā pō i noho pō ai ia. Ka tīmata a Sue ki te kite i tēnei.

"I tētahi pō, ka tuku karere ia, ka pātai mai kia hia te roa o taku noho. I te pō i muri mai, ka pātai mai ia mēnā ka hoki ahau ki te kāinga mō te tina. Kāore i roa, ka noho ia kia tae rā anō ahau ki te kāinga, ka pātai mai mō te kaupapa me te hunga e mahi tahi ana māua. Ki taku whakaaro i tito noa ahau i ētahi atu ingoa wāhine, kia kite noa i tana tauhohenga," ka menemene a Sean, me te tāpiri, "Ka huri rānei taku wahine i tana whakaaro mō te whakarere? Kāore au i te tino mōhio mō tēnā, engari i tēnei wā, he tino pai te kite i tana aro anō."

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6. E hiahia ana ia ki te noho tahi

He hoa te wā, he hoariri hoki ki te aroha. E hiahia ana tātou kia nui ake te wā, ā, te āhua nei kāore e ranea. Ina whawhai ana kōrua, ā, e whakaae ana kōrua kia mutu tō kōrua marena, ko tētahi o ngā mea tuatahi ka tapahia e kōrua ko te wā me te tangata kē.

Ina hoki, ki te mea kua tino kino haere ngā āhuatanga, me karo pea koe i te noho tahi me tō hoa i ngā wā katoa e taea ana, nā te mea ko te noho tahi he karanga noa iho, he kēmu whakapae me ētahi atu mahi whakarihariha. Nā, he aha te tikanga ina hiahia tō wahine, kua roa nei e noho tawhiti ana i a koe, kua noho motuhake rānei, ki te noho tahi me koe mō ngā marama?

Āe, koinei pea tana huarahi hei whakamātautau i ngā āhuatanga me te aromatawai mēnā he whai wāhi tō kōrua marena pakaru ki te ora tonu. Koinei tana e ngana ana ki te whakapā atu ki a koe me te whakapuaki kei te pai tonu ia ki te noho tahi me koe. Inaianei, he rerekē pea te whakaaro o te noho tahi mō ngā tāngata rerekē. Engari ka taea e koe te tino mohio kei te toro atu ia i tētahi manga oriwa mēnā:

• Kei te whakarite ia kia kai tahi kōrua i te iti rawa i te kotahi kai i ia rā
• Ka pātai atu ia mēnā kei te pirangi koe ki te hoko kai māua
• E kī ana ia kia kai tahi tātou i tētahi wāhi (tērā pea he whakapae kei te noho tahi tātou hei whānau mēnā he tamariki tā koutou)
• Kei te tono ia kia haere tahi koe me ia ki ngā huihuinga pāpori
• Kei te pai ake tana noho tahi me koe i roto i ngā pāpāho pāpori, ā, kei te atawhai ake ia i a koe.

E kī ana a Sampreeti. "Mēnā he hoa, he hunga tautoko i a koe i whai wāhi ki te mahere whakarere, kia mōhio koe mēnā kei te mawehe atu tō wahine i a rātou. Ko te hurihanga o ngā whanaungatanga pāpori, te rārangi hou o ngā hoa me ngā hunga tautoko, te rerekētanga rānei o te tauira o te whai wāhi me ngā tikanga pāpori he tohu pea kei te huri ia i tōna whakaaro mō te whakarere," tana whakamārama. He pātai uaua ki te whakautu mēnā ka huri ngā whakaaro o ngā wāhine mō te whakarere, engari mēnā kei te hoatu e ia tōna wā ki a koe, me te tono mai mō tōu wā, ki tā mātou whakaaro kua whiwhi koe i tāu whakautu.

7. Ka maumahara ia ki ō hiahia

Kua roa te wehenga o tētahi hoa i tana tāne, engari kāore anō kia whakatauhia te whakarere. I muri i ētahi wiki i muri i tō rāua wehenga, ka tūtaki ahau ki a ia mō te tina, ā, ka kite ahau kua waiho e ia tōna makawe kia tuwhera, kaua ki tōna pito o te makawe. I taku kōrero mō te makawe hou, he āhua whakama ia, ā, ka mea ia he pai ki tana tāne. I tūtaki noa ia ki a ia ki te kōrero i ētahi taipitopito o ngā pepa whakarere, ā, pai…

Kāore e kore ka mutu te whakarere, ā, kei te rere tonu ia me ōna makawe e marara ana i te tihi o te raumati! Nō reira, ina tīmata te wahine, ahakoa kua wehe kē ia i te whanaungatanga, ki te mau i ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe, ki te tunu rānei i āu rihi tino pai, ki te waiata rānei i āu waiata tino pai ki a koe, kāore pea ia e whakaaro ana ki te rōia whakarere pai rawa atu o te tāone.

Ina hoki, kei te whakaaro ia ki a koe, me āu mea e pai ana ki a koe, me ngā mea e hari ai koe. Kei te maumahara ia ki ngā mea e menemene ai koe, e hari ai hoki koe. Ae, ko tana whakakakahu i ōna makawe ki tāu e pai ai, ehara i te mea kei te karanga ia, "I tono whakarere ahau engari kua huri taku whakaaro", engari he tūāpapa tonu. Ko āna ēnei ngā huarahi hei whakaatu i te aroha me te whakapuaki i tōna hiahia ki te hoatu i tētahi whai wāhitanga tuarua ki te marena.

Ki tā mātou he tino haumaru tēnā, ā, he tohu pono kei te whakaaroaro anō ia ki ngā whakaaro whakarere i whakaarohia e ia. Kaua e whakahawea ki tēnā. Kia mahara kia whakahokia mai te atawhai me te aro atu ki ngā mea e pai ana ki a ia!

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8. E hiahia ana ia ki tō aro

Kāore ianei tātou e hiahia tonu ana kia arohia mai e ō tātou whanaunga? Kāore ianei tātou e whawhai ki a rātou, e hoko kākahu hou, ā, e mahi ana i te maha atu o ngā mea hei kukume mai i te aro o ō tātou hoa aroha? Kaua e pohehe, ehara i te mea ko te hiahia o tō wahine ki te whakarere i a koe tana huarahi ki te kukume mai i tō aro. He rerekē rawa atu. Kei te kī atu mātou, ki te ngana ohorere ia ki te hopu i tō aro, tera pea ko tētahi o ngā tohu kei te huri te whakaaro o tō wahine mō te whakarere.

Nō reira, whakaarohia āna whanonga, tirohia mēnā kei te ngana ia ki te kōrero ki a koe te aro nui ki te whanaungatangaKoinei te āhua:

• Te pātai atu ki a ia mō ō whakaaro mō ngā mea e nui ana ki a ia
• E kōrero ana ki a koe mō tētahi wharekai hou kua whakatuwheratia i te tāone, ā, e tino tatari ana kia whakautu mai koe.
• Te kōrero tahi me koe mō ngā pane o te rā, me te tumanako ka whai kōrero tahi tātou
• Te purei i tētahi kiriata, i tētahi waiata rānei e kinongia ana e koe, kia puta ai he urupare mai i a koe

Mena kei te tupu tēnei i muri i te wā roa o te kore aro o tō wahine ki a koe, me te whakaatu mai kāore koe i te nui ki a ia, ka taea e koe te whakaaro he tohu tēnei kei te ngana ia ki te tīmata i te houhanga rongo. Ā, kei te whakarite ia kia aro koe ki tāna e mahi ana. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te rapu ia i tētahi urupare, i tētahi whakatuwheratanga rānei ki tētahi kōrero, ka tūtohu mātou kia tangohia e koe. Ina whakaaro koe ki ngā pātai pēnei i te, "E hiahia ana taku wahine ki te whakarere, me pēhea taku whakarerekē i tōna whakaaro?", kia mōhio koe ko te aro, te momo pai, he rongoā pai mō tētahi whanaungatanga e ngoikore ana.

9. Kei te mihi ia ki a koe

He tohu mārama tēnei. Me kī, mō ngā marama kua kōrero mai tō wahine ki a koe kāore ia e pai ki tō kanohi, ki tō manawa, me te tangi o tō ngaungau e hiahia ana ia ki te wero i a koe. Kātahi ka marino ngā mea, ā, ka tīmata ia ki te kōrero i ngā mea pai mōu.

"He tino ātaahua te āhua o taua hāte ki a koe." "He reka rawa te hupa i tunua e koe mō te tina!" "He whakaaturanga pai rawa atu tēnā – ka tino pai ki te kiritaki!" Ae, tera pea ka tino whakapae koe i te tīmatanga, engari ki te haere tonu, ā, ki te pono tana kōrero, kei te mihi ia ki a koe, ā, kei te huri tana whakaaro mō te whakarere i a koe.

Te mihi me te ngākau pono ngā mihi i roto i te whanaungatanga he rongoā mō ngā hoa kua tino whara. Koinei hoki tana huarahi ki te whakaatu ki a koe ahakoa he maha ngā mea e hiahia ana ia kia hurihia e koe (kua karangahia pea e ia tētahi rārangi ki a koe i tēnei wā!), e mōhio ana ia kei a koe ētahi āhuatanga whakamiharo e rite ana ia ki te awhi anō. Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakaora i tō marena, koinei tō wā ki te whakahoki me te tūtaki ki a ia i waenganui.

Te pānui e pā ana: Me pēhea te whakaora i te marena ina kotahi anake e ngana ana?

Me aha koe ina huri te whakaaro o tāu wahine mō te whakarere?

Kua kite koe i ngā tohu e huri ana te whakaaro o tō wahine mō te whakarere. Tērā pea i roa te wā e whakaaroaro ana ia mō te whakarere, ā, kei te ruarua tonu pea ia mō tēnā, engari kāore ia e whakaaro koinei anake te huarahi whakamua. Tērā pea kei te whakaaroaro ia ki te whakaaro mō te te hoatu i tētahi whai wāhitanga tuarua ki te marena me te tīmata anō. Ko te pātai, me aha koe i roto i tēnei āhuatanga? Pērā i te nuinga o ngā mea e pā ana ki ngā whanaungatanga tangata, kāore he whakautu tika, he whakautu hē rānei i konei. Anei ētahi mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei whakatau tika mō tō heke mai hei tokorua marena:

1. Kia mārama ki ngā take i huri ai tōna whakaaro mō te whakarere

He mea pai te whakaaro tuarua o tāu wahine mō te whakarere, kei runga i ngā take i puta ai tēnei huringa ngākau. Mena e hiahia ana ia ki te houhanga rongo nā te mea kei te wehi kei noho mokemoke ki te mea he tino whakamataku rawa te whakaaro kia haere tonu te whakarere, kāti, ehara pea te hoki tahi i te kōwhiringa tino pumau. Ki te kore kōrua e rite ki te mahi ki te whakatau i ō kōrua raruraru me te hanga i ētahi huringa pai, ka kitea e kōrua kei te tū atu anō i te wā kotahi.

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2. Kimihia tāu e hiahia ana

Ina kī mai tō wahine e hiahia ana ia ki te whakarere, tera pea ka huri tonu tō hinengaro mataku ki te aratau whakahaere kino. Tērā pea ka pau te nui o tō wā me tō kaha ki te whakaaro me pēhea te huri i tāu wahine i tana whakatau whakarere. Kei te aro nui rānei koe ki ngā pātai pēnei i te, "Ka huri rānei ia i tana whakaaro mō te whakarere?" Tērā pea i roto i ēnei mea katoa, kāore koe i whai wā ki te whakaaro he aha te mea e hiahia ana koe. Nō reira, i mua i tō whakautu ki āna tono, tirohia koe anō, kia tino mohio kei te hiahia koe ki te mea kotahi me ia. Ki te kore koe e whai whakaaro kotahi mō te tīmata anō, kāore koe e tae ki te whakatika i tō whanaungatanga.

3. Ka taea te whakatika i ō raruraru?

Ki te he kua pakaru te whanaungatanga, ā, kāore e taea te whakatikaAhakoa te nui o ngā whakapāha, te nui rānei o ngā manga oriwa e kore e taea te whakatika. Tērā ētahi marena kua tinihanga tetahi, kua takahi rānei tetahi, kua horapa te tukino, he hapa noa iho rānei i waenganui i te tokorua kāore i te hototahi i te tuatahi. Ki te pērā, he iti noa iho te tūponotanga ki te hanga i tētahi marena harikoa tahi. Pātai atu ki a koe anō, kei te hiahia koe ki te hoki anō ki tēnei rua rāpeti, he pai ake rānei te haere atu inaianei?

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4. Tikina te āwhina e tika ana hei hanga anō i tō marena

Ki te whakatau koe he pai te whakamātau anō i tō marena, kia mōhio koe he nui ngā mahi māu. Me hanga he whanaungatanga hou ki tō hoa rangatira i a koe e mahi ana i roto i ngā mamae kare ā-roto kua pā ki a kōrua, me te karo i ngā tauira tawhito, raruraru. Me nui te manawanui, te māramatanga, me te whakaora pea i te tokorua.

"Kia mōhio koe mēnā ka tīmata tāu wahine ki te tango me te tohatoha i ngā kawenga ki a koe. Waihoki, mēnā ka kī ia ki te rapu āwhina ngaio, ki te rongoā rānei, he tohu pea tēnā mō te tumanako mō te houhanga rongo," te kī a Sampreeti. Mēnā kei te rapu āwhina koe, ko Bonobology's he rōpū kaitohutohu mātau ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakahoki i tō marena ki tōna kororia o mua.

Ahakoa te aha, he mea pai ina whakatau te hoa pouri ki te whakaaro anō mō ​​te whakarere, me te tuku anō i tētahi whai wāhitanga ki te marena. Kia mōhio ki tēnei, pānuihia ngā tohu, ā, kia kaha hoki koe ki te whakatika i tō whanaungatanga. He ara rua te marena, ā, me kaha anō hoki koe ki te whakahoki mai i te marena mai i te taha o te whakarere.

Kua whakahoutia tēnei tuhinga i te Hui-tanguru 2023.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.