Whai muri i ngā whawhai maha, me te whakararuraru i a kōrua, kua whakatau kōrua ki te whakamutu i tō kōrua whanaungatanga. Tērā pea kei te manukanuka koe mō te āhua o ngā mea katoa, he mea tika tēnā. Heoi anō, he tohu kino te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga. Heoi anō, kāore e tika kia pērā. Ki te mōhio kōrua ki te whakatau i te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga, ka taea e kōrua te hoki mai me te kaha ake i mua.
Hei whakamarie i tō hinengaro manukanuka, e hiahia ana mātou ki te kī atu ki a koe, i te wā tonu i whakatau ai koe ki te okioki, kua tīmata kē koe ki te whakapai ake i tō whanaungatanga. Heoi anō, he mea mōhiotia whānuitia he nui ngā painga o te okiokinga i ētahi wā. Pērā anō hoki te okiokinga i roto i te whanaungatanga. Whakaarohia he hararei roa mō te mutunga wiki kua roa e hiahiatia ana e koe engari kāore anō kia taea e koe te haere atu.
Ahakoa rā, ahakoa te whakaaro ki tēnei tūponotanga ka raru pea koe i te maha o ngā pātai. He aha ngā ture mō te whakataa i roto i te whanaungatanga? Ka taea e kōrua te whakapā atu i te wā e whakataa ana te whanaungatanga? I tēhea wā ka whakatau koe kua mutu te whakataa, ā, me hoki anō kōrua? Ko te mea nui, me pēhea e whakamahi pai ai koe i tō wā inaianei kua whakataa koe?
Hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama me pēhea te whakatau i te wehenga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, me pēhea hoki te whakamahere me te whakatinana i taua mea, ka whakapuaki a Shazia Saleem (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te kaiārahi mō te wehenga me te whakarere, i ētahi tirohanga ki ngā huarahi hei whakaoti rapanga whanaungatanga i mua i te wā e wehe ai. I roto i te tukanga, ka kōrerohia hoki e mātou ngā raruraru whanaungatanga roa me pēhea te whakatika.
Ngā Mea Hei Mahi I Te Wā Whakataa Hononga
Ripanga o Ihirangi
E ai ki ngā rangahau , e 50% o ngā pakeke ka wehe, ka houhia te rongo ki tā rātou hoa o mua i tētahi wā o ō rātou oranga. Kei roto anō hoki i te marena te ariā o te 'wehe'. Inaa, e tohu ana ngā rangahau e 6% ki te 18% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua marenatia ka wehe i tētahi wā ka mutu te marena. Nō reira, ehara i te mea onge te okiokinga, ehara hoki i te mea whakamataku pērā i tō whakaaro.
Ko te mea nui ko te kimi me pēhea te whakatau i te wā e okioki ai koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, me pēhea hoki te whakahaere i tō wā wehe. Anei ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi:
- Ko te kaupapa o te wehenga o tētahi whanaungatanga he whakaaroaro mō ō hapa me ō tumanakohanga koretake
- Whakamahia taua wā mō ngā mea e tino pārekareka ana ki a koe
- Mena kua whakaritea e kōrua ko tō hoa he wā motuhake mō te hararei, he pai ake kia piri ki tēnā.
- Kaua e takiuru i te wā okiokinga; whai i te ture kore whakapā atu
- Kaua e whakaipoipo i ētahi atu tāngata; whakamahia tēnei wā hei whakamahara i a koe anō he tino motuhake tō hoa.
7 Ngā Ture Hei Whakatau i te Whakatā i roto i te Hononga
Ki te whakaaro koe mā te kī noa kei te wehe kōrua i te whanaungatanga ka ea te raru, whakaarohia anō. Kāore koe e hiahia kia mutu te karanga, "I wehe tāua!", mō ngā tau tekau karapīpiti pērā i a Ross o Friends . Hei karo i tētahi āhuatanga pēnei, he mea nui kia kōrero koe ki tō hoa i ngā wā katoa e taea ana e koe, me te whakatū i ētahi ture taketake i mua i te wehenga atu i te whanaungatanga.
Kāore koe e hiahia ki te whiwhi, ki te tuku rānei i ngā karere kuputuhi me ngā waea maha i a kōrua e okioki ana – kāore tēnā e whai hua mō kōrua. E kī ana a Shazia , "Me tuwhera tonu te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga, kaua ko te whakatau pakanga anake. He mahi ārai hoki, kaua ko te rongoā anake."
Kei te rapu tohutohu koe mō te whakatau i te wā okioki i roto i te whanaungatanga? Hei tīmatanga, ki te kore koe e whakamahi tika i tēnei wā, tera pea ka hoki mai koe me te whakaaro he aha i kore ai ō raruraru whanaungatanga e memeha haere noa. Hei whakarite kia kore ai tēnā e tupu, kua kohikohia e mātou ētahi "ture mō te wā okioki i roto i te whanaungatanga". Engari nā te mea he rerekē ia whanaungatanga, ko te tohutohu nui rawa atu ka taea e mātou te hoatu ki a koe ko te kōrero ki tō hoa , e ārahi ana i a mātou ki tā mātou ture tuatahi:
1. Kōrerohia te wā okiokinga ki tō hoa
Ko tētahi o ngā ture tino nui mō te whakataa i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te kōrero mārama ki tō hoa mō te kaupapa o te whakatau, me pēhea hoki te huarahi pai hei whakatere i tēnei wāhanga uaua, me te kore e tukua kia pāngia tō hononga. Kāore e taea e koe te tuku karere noa ki tō hoa "me whakataa" kātahi ka maka atu i tō waea, me te tumanako ka tau pai ngā mea katoa.
E mea ana a Shazia, "Kia mau tonu te taumata o te ngākau māhaki me te mana i a koe. Whakautehia tō hoa me tōna whānau. Me tautoko te aroha ki te whakaute. Mā te whakaute i tō hoa, ā rātou kaupapa matua, ā rātou whiringa, ā rātou hiahia kare ā-roto , me tōna āhua takitahi ka āwhina i te karo i ngā tautohetohe werawera i te tuatahi. Mā tēnei ka taea e koe te matapaki i ngā raruraru whanaungatanga me te kore e whawhai."
I mua i te tīmatanga o tō hararei, me kōrero koe ki tō hoa he aha koe i whakaaro ai me whakamahi kōrua i tētahi hararei. Kāore te āhua o tā rāua whakarongo ki ngā purongo e tino hira, engari ko te whakapuaki pono i ō kōrua kare ā-roto. Ka taea hoki e te hararei roa te whakararuraru i tō hoa, ina koa mēnā kāore ia e mōhio kei te pā kino ngā raruraru i waenganui i a kōrua kia tika ai te whakatau pērā.
Koia te mea nui o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero. Me kōrero pai ki tō hoa mō tēnei mea, he kanohi ki te kanohi te pai. Whakakorehia ngā māramatanga katoa, kia mōhio ai kōrua kāore kōrua i wehe, engari kei te wehe noa iho. Kāore koe e hiahia kia neke atu tō hoa i te wā e hoki mai ai kōrua.
Pānui e pā ana: 9 Ngā Tohu Kua Tae Te Wā Hei Whakataa I Te Hononga
2. Pātaihia ngā pātai nui, ā, whakaritea tō wā okiokinga
Kei te takakau kōrua mō te roanga o te wā okioki? Kāore rawa he whakapā atu i te wā e okioki ana te whanaungatanga? He pai rānei te tirotiro tetahi ki tetahi i ētahi wā? Mena koinā, e hia te nui o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero e pai ake ana? Āhea te mutunga o tō okiokinga? He mea nui kia whakautua ēnei pātai katoa i mua i te okiokinga i tō whanaungatanga.
Me pēhea te whakatau i te wā okioki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga? He mea nui te kōrero mō ngā mea pēnei i te motuhaketanga me te hiahia o kōrua ki te moe tahi me ētahi atu tāngata, ki te whai hononga tuwhera rānei i te roanga o te wā okiokinga. Waihoki, ko te whakatakoto i tētahi rohe wā mō tō hararei te huarahi tika.
Ko te roa o ngā hararei he rua wiki ki te rua marama. Heoi, he uaua ki te whakatau i te roa o te wā e hiahiatia ana hei whakaoti i ngā mea katoa e hiahia ana koe ki te whakaoti. Nō reira, kaua e whakatakoto i tētahi rā motuhake hei mutunga mō te hararei, mehemea ka hiahia koe ki te whakaroa. Hei whakarāpopototanga, kia kotahi te whakaaro o kōrua mō te hararei me ngā mea e tumanakohia ana e kōrua tetahi i tetahi.
I te wā e okioki ana i tētahi hononga roa, i tētahi hononga pumau rānei, he mea tino nui te tautuhi i ngā ture matua. Ki te kore tēnei, ka noho pōuri ngā hoa tokorua mō te heke mai. Ka taea e tēnei pōuri te taumaha rawa, ā, ka akiaki pea i a koe ki te mahi i ngā mea ka pouri koe i muri mai. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe he pai te okiokinga mō tētahi hononga, kia mōhio koe ka whai hua tēnei ki a koe mēnā ka tika te whakahaere.
3. Kaua e tuku karere kuputuhi "Kei te ngaro nui ahau i a koe!"
Ki te mea kei te whakataa koe i tētahi hononga roa, tera pea ka tukuna atu e koe tētahi mea pēnei i te "Kei te mōhio ahau kei te whakataa tāua, engari ko taku hiahia kia noho tahi tāua!" He ahua whakakatakata tēnei, e ai ki tā mātou. Me i whakaatu koe i tēnei nui o te hiahia i mua, kāore koe i hiahia ki te whakataa (āue, aroha mai!).
Waihoki, i te wā e okioki ana i tētahi hononga tawhiti, ko te whakatere i tēnei wā uaua ko koe anake me te tawhiti i waenganui i a koe me tō hoa ka whakanui ake i ngā kare ā-roto o te hiahia. I ēnei wā, ko te tango i te waea me te tuku karere ki tō hoa te mea anake hei whakamarie i a koe. Ā, koinei te mea e tumanakohia ana.
Ko te mea nui kia kaua e tukua ki tēnei whakamātautau. Ki te mea kei te raru koe ki te whakatau i te wā okioki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te tuku karere ki tō hoa hei tirotiro i a ia, ngana ki te aukati i a koe anō. I aua wā, tera pea te āhua nei kei roto koe i te aroha, ā, kāore he raruraru e kitea. E rua ngā rā i muri i tēnā, kei te whawhai anō kōrua, kei te tautohetohe anō mō taua mea kotahi kāore e taea e kōrua te whakaae.
Kia iti rawa te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i te wā e mutu ana te whanaungatanga, me whakamahi rānei i te ture kore-pā . Tirohia kotahi, e rua rānei i te wiki mēnā e hiahia ana koe, engari kaua e waea ataata tetahi ki tetahi i ia pō. E kī ana a Shazia, "I ngā wā katoa ka pā mai he pakanga i roto i tō whanaungatanga e ahua uaua rawa ana ki te whakahaere, me whai wā. Kaua e whakatau wawe, ā, me whai whakaaro nui ki te take kei mua."
Pānui e pā ana: 9 Tohutohu hei hanga whanaungatanga taurite
4. Arotahi ki a koe ano
E kī ana a Shazia, "Ehara i te mea hei whakaoti rapanga whanaungatanga me te kore e wehe, engari hei karo i ngā raruraru i te tuatahi, me tuku e ngā hoa te wāhi wātea ki a rātou anō, i te taha tinana me te taha whakaahua. Me whai mana motuhake te katoa ki ō rātou ake kare ā-roto."
Ko tētahi o ngā ture nui mō te okioki i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te neke atu i te arotahi mai i tō hoa me tō whanaungatanga ki a koe anō. Tērā pea i pōuri koe mēnā i hiahia koe ki te okioki. Ko te tikanga, nā te mea kua tae koe ki tētahi wā, he nui ake te wā hei arotahi ki a koe anō, kaua ki te ngana ki te whakaoti i tētahi atu pakanga iti ki tō hoa. Mā te nui ake o tō mōhio ki a koe anō me ngā mea e pai ana koe ki te arotahi i tō kaha, ka pai ake tō whakatau mēnā he pai tō whanaungatanga.
Koinei te wā ki te awhi i ngā mea katoa i hiahia koe kia tutuki engari kāore anō kia taea. Whakamahia te whakaiti i te whakapā i te wā e mutu ana te whanaungatanga mā te kimi i a koe anō me te tiaki i a koe anō. Koinei tētahi o ngā tohutohu tino whai hua mō te whakatau i te wā e mutu ana te whanaungatanga. Ka kite koe i tētahi huringa o tō wairua ina angitu koe ki te whawhai ki te ngaro tonu i tō hoa.
5. Kia pono, kaua e hē te huarahi
He aha te tikanga o te okiokinga ki te tāne? He mārama noa iho, he moe taha noa iho, tika? Kaua e whakapae, ā, kia kōrerohia te motuhaketanga ki tō hoa. Kei te okioki koe, tera pea ka waipuketia ō pāpāho pāpori e te hunga takakau kua whakatau ki te uru atu ki ō DM. Ki te kore kōrua e whakatau ka taea e kōrua te moe taha noa iho, kia kaua e tukua ki te whakamatautauranga, ā, kia mau tonu te pono.
He uaua te whakakore i te tinihanga , kaua e meinga tō hoa kia pāngia e taua āhuatanga. Ahakoa kei te whakamutu koe i tētahi hononga roa i noho tahi ai kōrua ko tō hoa, kei roto rānei i tētahi hononga tawhiti kua kī tonu i ngā pakanga iti me ngā tautohe, kaua e wareware kei te noho tahi tonu kōrua ko tō hoa.
Anei te huarahi hei whakatau i te wā okioki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga: kaua e whakapau i tō wā okioki katoa ki te noho tahi me ō hoa ki te ngana ki te wareware kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga. Ka pānui tonu koe i tā mātou kōrero e whai ake nei, he mea nui kia arotakehia tō whanaungatanga i tēnei wā. E mōhio ana mātou he uaua, engari me whakakore e koe te hunga katoa i uru mai ki ō DM, me te whakaaro he takakau koe.
6. Whakaarohia ngā hapa i roto i tō whanaungatanga
Mā te okiokinga ka taea e koe te arotahi ki ngā hapa i roto i tō whanaungatanga, me te rapu i te pūtake o ō raruraru. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te ora i te pakaru o tō whanaungatanga, me tātari e koe i tēnei wā kia kitea ai te hapa i puta. Nō reira, kaua e tirotiro i te wā o te pakaru, kaua hoki e aro ki te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i te wā o te pakaru o te whanaungatanga, engari me arotahi ki te huarahi i tae mai ai kōrua ki tēnei wā.
He maha ngā wā ka mau ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i roto i ngā mahi o ia rā, ā, ka ngaro te hononga ora. He maha ngā raruraru ka taea te karo, te whakatau ngāwari rānei mēnā ka nui ake te wā kounga e noho tahi ana ngā hoa. E kī ana a Shazia, "Ko te pupuri i tō waea pūkoro i a koe e kōrero ana tetahi ki tetahi, me te hoatu wā motuhake ki tō hoa, he huarahi ēnei hei whakaatu i tō hoa he mea nui rāua. Mēnā kua ngaro tēnā i roto i tō whanaungatanga, he mea tika kia whakaaroarohia he aha."
Nā te mea he nui ake tō wā ki te mahi i ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe, ka pai ake tō hinengaro ki te whakaaro ki ngā raruraru o tō whanaungatanga. Hei tauira, ki te mea kei te whakamutu koe i tētahi whanaungatanga tawhiti, tera pea ka pai ake tō noho ki tua atu i ngā tautohetohe iti me ngā tautohetohe tonu e taupoki ana i tō hononga, me te mārama he aha koe i taka ai ki tēnei tauira i te tuatahi.
Kua roa rawa te tawhiti e kore e taea te whakahaere? Kei te māharahara koe ki tō hoa rangatira? Kei te whakaaro koe, kāore rānei tō hoa rangatira e whai wāhi ana ki te oranga o tētahi ki tētahi? Tātarihia ngā mea pai me ngā mea kino, me ngā mea e hiahia ana koe ki te whakatika. Tērā pea kua tino whakapono koe kāore tō whanaungatanga i te pai nā te mea he whakapataritari noa iho tō hoa rangatira, engari kaua e aro ki ngā mea kino anake.
He uaua ki te whakaae, engari tera pea ko koe anō te he. Whakaarohia ngā mea kua mahia e koe i roto i te whanaungatanga i kino ai, me ngā mea ka taea e kōrua te mahi i muri mai. Nō reira, kakahuria tō pōtae kaitirotiro, ka tīmata ki te whakaoti i te take kohuru o tō whanaungatanga! Koinei te whakautu pai ki te whakatau i te wā e okioki ana i roto i te whanaungatanga.
Pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Mea Ka Taea e Koe te Mahi Mena Kāore Koe i te Harikoa i roto i te Marenatanga
7. Haere me tō puku
Kei te pōhēhē koe me pēhea te whakatau i te wā e mutu ai te whanaungatanga? I a koe e tātari ana i tō whanaungatanga, he ngawari te kahakina atu, ka tīmata te whakaaro nui. Kōrero ki tētahi hoa, ka matapakihia he aha te mea pai rawa atu māu. Mena kei a koe ngā take katoa hei whakamutu i te whanaungatanga , kaua e teka ki a koe anō mō te hauora o tō whanaungatanga.
Ki te mōhio kē koe kāore tō whanaungatanga e ora tonu, ā, kei te ngana koe ki te whakatenatena i a koe anō kia kaua e pērā, kei te whakaroa noa koe i te mea e kore e taea te karo. Ā tōna wā, ā tōna wā, ka hinga ngā turanga wiri o tō whanaungatanga, ā, ka pouri koe mō te korenga e whai i tō ngākau. Ko te ture māmā rawa mō te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga ko te pono ki a koe anō, kaua hoki e whakamutu me te whakaaro ki tētahi putanga kua whakaritea.
Tohutohu Matua
- Ko ngā ture mō te wehenga o tētahi whanaungatanga ko te whakaaroaro anō he aha te take e heke haere ana te whanaungatanga.
- Me iti noa te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i te wā okiokinga
- Koinei te wā ki te arotahi ki a koe anō, me te pono ki a koe anō
- Kia mau ki te whakarongo ki ō kare ā-roto hei whakatau whakamutunga
Kia tuwhera tō hinengaro ki ngā mea katoa ka taea, kia kite ai koe i te huarahi e haria ai koe e tēnei wehenga. Ko te huarahi hei whakatau i te wehenga i roto i te whanaungatanga he mea ngāwari noa iho, arā, te hoki whakamuri me te whakamarie i a koe anō. E tika ana kia whiwhi koe i te aroha i tōna āhua tūturu, arā, te aroha e hipa ake ana i ngā pakanga iti "kati te titiro ki a ia!". Ki te tika te mahi, ka āwhina te wehenga i a koe ki te kimi i te mea pai mōu. Ahakoa ko te tikanga me whakamutu e koe tō whanaungatanga o nāianei. I te mutunga, ko tō harikoa te mea nui.
FAQs
Ae, e tika ana, ki te whakamahia tika. Kei te hararei māua ko taku hoa tāne, ā, kei te ngaro ia i ahau. Engari i tēnei wā kei te whakamahara mai i ahau ki ngā mea katoa i hē ai ahau.
Kia kotahi te whakaaro o kōrua mō te wā okioki i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga . Ka roa pea te okiokinga mai i te wiki ki te marama. Kei a kōrua ko tō hoa te tikanga.
11 Ngā Akoranga i Akohia e te Tangata mai i ngā Hononga i Rahua
Te Whakatika i tētahi Hononga Paitini – 21 Ngā Huarahi hei Whakaora Ngātahi
9 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakatika i te Marena Pakaru, Hei Whakaora hoki
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
