Tō Aratohu mō te Whakatau i tētahi Tangata Riri i roto i tētahi Hononga

Kei te rapu tohutohu koe mō te whakatau i tētahi tangata riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga? Mēnā he tāne whakarihariha tāu, he wahine pukuriri, he hoa pukuriri rānei, ehara i te mea ngāwari te aroha i ngā wā katoa. Kāore koe e mōhio ki te aha e kōrero ai, e mahi ai rānei; kei te hikoi tonu koe i runga i ngā anga hua manu hei karo i te pahūtanga puia. He reo teitei, he ringa pūmau, he riri pukuriri, he karanga ingoa kino: Ehara i te mea ataahua te noho tahi me tētahi tangata he raruraru riri. 

Ehara i te mea he mea kino te whakaatu i te riri ki tētahi hoa, he mea rānei me pehi tēnei kare ā-roto. He pai ake te tuku i ngā kare ā-roto kino i te mamae puku, mena ka mahia i roto i te huarahi hauora. Kaua te whakaatu i te riri e tae ki te tohu o te tukino ā-waha, ā-tinana rānei. Heoi, ina kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga, ina piripono rānei koe ki tētahi tangata he raru riri, ka noho koia tēnei momo whakaaturanga kino.

Mā te whakahaere i te riri o tētahi atu tangata mō te wā roa ka whara koe i te hinengaro, ā, ka pāngia tō hauora hinengaro me ō whanaungatanga o nāianei me ā muri ake nei e ngā whara. Koia mātou i whakapā atu ai ki tētahi kaiako mō te oranga hinengaro me te aro nui. Pooja Priyamvada, he tohu mō te Āwhina Tuatahi mō te Hauora Hinengaro me te Hauora Hinengaro mai i te Kura Hauora Tūmatanui o Johns Hopkins Bloomberg me te Whare Wānanga o Sydney. He tohunga ia ki te tohutohu mō ngā mahi moepuku, ngā wehenga, te wehenga, te pouri, me te mate, hei tauira noa iho. Kei konei mātou hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakaaro me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi he raruraru riri kei roto i tētahi whanaungatanga.

He aha ngā take e puta ai ngā raruraru riri i roto i te tangata?

As Pooja e kī ana, "Ka taea e te tangata te riri. Tērā pea ka tere te riri o ētahi. Tērā pea he take motuhake ā ētahi. Ko ētahi atu he wā noa iho e kore ai e tino kaha te riri. Ko te riri i roto i te whanaungatanga ka puta mai i te pouri, te pōuri, te manukanuka rānei. Ina kite te tangata kei te ngaro te mana whakahaere i tetahi mea, kei te riri rānei, ka uru atu rātou ki te huringa riri."

Engari he aha te pūtake o ngā raruraru riri i roto i te marena, i te whanaungatanga rānei? rangahau e tohu ana ko ngā pūtake whanaketanga o te riri me te mauahara ka taea te whai i ngā kararehe e whakarite ana mō te whakaekenga hei ārai i ngā hoa whawhai. Ko te riri he urupare ki ngā tūmomo mōrearea mō te oranga, ā, he mahi hei pehi i te wehi, te mamae, me te whakama.

tetahi ako e whakaatu ana ko te karo i te aro atu ki te ahotea me te he iti te kiritau I roto i te whakaoti rapanga ā-iwi, he maha ngā wā ka whakanui ake te āhua o te hunga riri. Mēnā he kino rawa tō āhuatanga, ā, kei te āwangawanga tonu koe mō tētahi mea pēnei i te "Nā te riri o taku tāne ahau e manukanuka ai" me te "Ka riri taku wahine ki ngā mea katoa e mahia ana e au", me mārama tuatahi koe ki ngā take pea o ngā raruraru riri i roto i ngā whanaungatanga:

• Te whakatipu i roto i te whare i noho noa ai te riri
• Ngā kare ā-roto kāore anō kia whakatauhia mō ngā mamae/tūkino o mua
• Te pouri kāore e taea te whakapuaki i te ngaronga o tētahi mea motuhake
• Ngā hua o te waipiro 
• Ngā Tohu o te Mate Hinengaro Kore Aro/mate hinengaro rua
• Te utu nui rawa atu mō te iti o te whakaaro ki a ia anō
• E pāngia ana e te manukanuka/pouri
• Te pōuri/te kore mana/te whakawehi/te whakaekenga
• Te urupare ki te atawhai/ngā kare ā-roto kāore i te tika kāore i te whai mana te hinengaro

Me pēhea te whakatau i te tangata e riri ana?

Kei te tuhituhi mai tā mātou kaipānui, a Melissa, ki a mātou mai i Texas, e rapu ana i te āwhina hei whakatau i te riri, "He raruraru pukuriri tō taku hoa tāne. He rerekē ō māua whakapono mō ētahi take engari he tino uaua ia ina tae ki te whakaae ki ētahi atu whakaaro, ā, ahakoa ngā mea iti ka arahi ki ngā pakanga nui, kino. Ki te pono, kei te whakangaro te riri o taku hoa tāne i tō māua whanaungatanga. Me haere atu ahau, me rapu āwhina ngaio rānei māna? Ka taea e koe te āwhina i ahau ki te whakaaro me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi he raruraru riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga?"

E whakanui ana a Pooja, "He maha ngā wā ka manawanui te hoa rangatira, te hoa rangatira rānei e riri ana, ā, ka whakaatu i te kore e pai ki te whakarongo ki tētahi whakaaro rerekē. Kāore rātou e mōhio ki te nui o ā rātou whanonga i te wā e riri ana." Nō reira, he uaua te mahi tahi me tētahi tangata e raru ana te riri. Anei tāu aratohu mō te mahi tahi me tētahi tangata riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga:

1. Kaua e hamama whakahoki 

He kanohi mō te kanohi? Āe, ehara tēnā i te rautaki tika hei whakatau i ngā raruraru a te hoa rangatira/hoa rangatira e riri ana, ā, e kore e whakatau i ō raruraru whanaungatanga. Ki te ngaro te manawanui o tētahi hoa rangatira, ā, ka uru atu anō hoki tētahi atu ki te tautohetohe, ka tino pāngia rawatia. I a ia e kōrero ana mō te huarahi hei whakatau i tētahi hoa rangatira e riri ana, e kī ana a Pooja, ina whakatau ana ia i tētahi wahine whakahaere he tāne rānei he riri tōna, koinei ngā mea kāore e whakaaetia:

• Te karanga whakahoki
• Te whakapae i a rātou
• Te whakaara ake i ngā take tawhito
• E ngana ana ki te kati i a rātou

Te pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Huarahi e Pāngia ai te Hononga e te Whakawhiti Whakahē

2. Whakamahia ngā tikanga whakahaere riri

E whakamārama ana a Pooja, "Ko te whakaputa i ngā kare ā-roto kino tētahi o ngā rautaki tino whai hua hei whakaiti i te riri. Ahakoa he pai te whakaputa i ngā kare ā-roto, me mahi i roto i te huarahi kore-tūkino me te aro. Ka taea hoki te tuhi, te whakaatu rānei i te riri i roto i tētahi momo toi whakaari. Ka taea te whakaatu i te riri mā te auaha."

He maha ngā tikanga ka taea te whakamahi hei whakaiti i te riri i roto i te whanaungatanga. Kōrero mārire ki tō hoa mō ngā huarahi rerekē ka taea e rātou te whawhai ki tō rātou riri. Anei ētahi tikanga whakahaere riri whai hua, e ai ki rangahau:

• Te tatau (te tuku i te akiaki tuatahi ki te tauhohe kia pahemo)
• Te manawa mārire (ka whakamarie te yoga/te whakaaroaro i te hinengaro)
• Te tango wā okioki me te hoki whakamuri mai i te āhuatanga
• Te hikoi tere/te oma/te kaukau

3. Tukua rātou kia whakapuaki i ō rātou take mō te riri 

"He pukuriri tōku hoa tāne." "Ka riri mai taku hoa wahine ki ahau mō ngā mea tino koretake." "He rite taku hoa rangatira ki tētahi puia e tatari ana kia pahū." Mena koinei ngā whakaaro e raru ana koe, mā te whakarerekē i tō tirohanga ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i te āhuatanga kia pai ake. Ko tā tō hoa pea he whakarongo ki a koe engari kāore anō kia tino mōhio ki te whakaatu i taua hiahia i roto i te huarahi hauora.

"Pūja,"Te whakahaere i te riri i roto i ngā whanaungatanga "Kāore e oti te kore o te aroha. Mēnā kāore rātou i te tutu, i te tukino rānei, tukua rātou kia whakapuaki i ō rātou whakaaro. Ngāna kia aroha ki a rātou." Nō reira, kaua e whai kupu whakahoki mai mā te kī atu "Ka hamama tonu koe ki ahau ina riri koe," me kī atu pēnei, "Ka taea e koe te kōrero mai he aha te mea e whakararuraru ana i a koe?"

Kaua tō hoa e rongo kei te whakaekea koe e ō kōrero. Ka nui ake te riri. Ki te rapu tohutohu koe mō te whakatau i tētahi hoa tāne/hoa e riri ana, ko te mea nui ko te rapu i te take o tō rātou riri. Me tuwhera te kōrero mō tā rātou whanonga ki a koe, engari kaua e pērā i te wā e pakū ana tō rātou riri.

4. Hei whakamarie i te hoa riri, me tuku he otinga ki a rātou

Kei te whakaaro tonu koe me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi tangata riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga? Āe, he mea āwhina te maumahara ki te meka ina ngaro te manawanui o te tangata, tera pea he āhuatanga e pā ana ki a ia. nga take kaore ano kia whakatauhia kei muri i ō rātou hinengaro. Kāore pea i tutuki tetahi mea i te huarahi i puta ai te riri. Ko te aroha ki tētahi he riri tōna tikanga i ētahi wā me rapu koe i te mea kāore e taea e rātou te whakapuaki. Hei tauira,

• Ki te riri rātou ki a koe, ā, ka mōhio koe ko koe te he, me waiho noa tō whakapehapeha ki te taha, ka whakapāha pono.
• Ki te mea kei te whiu tō hoa i a koe mō tētahi mea tino koretake, pātai atu ki a ia he aha te hē i puta, me āna tumanakohanga mō taua mea.
• Whakamāramahia tō tirohanga, ā, kōrerotia tō kōrero ki tō hoa i runga i te pono, me te kore e whakahē i tā rātou i te tuatahi.
• Ki te mea he tuwhera ō rātou hinengaro, ka taea e kōrua te kōrero mō te raruraru kei mua i a kōrua, ā, ka taea e kōrua te whakatau i tētahi otinga.
• Mēnā kei te riri rātou ki tētahi atu, ka taea e koe te whakaaro he aha tā rātou e taea ai te mahi, te kōrero rānei kia pai ake ai te whakahaere i taua āhuatanga.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Waipuke o ngā Kare ā-roto: He aha te Tikanga o tēnei i roto i te Hononga?

5. Whakararuraru i a rātou

He tohutohu whai hua mō te whakatau i tētahi tangata he riri tōna i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, ko te tahuri i tōna aro ki tētahi atu mea, mā te huarahi ngawari. Ka taea e koe te kī atu i tētahi mea pēnei i te "Hei, me hikoi tāua. Me hopu tāua i te hau hou, kia mārama ai ō tāua mahunga." Inaa, he ako i kitea ko te whakaaroaro ka whakanui ake i ngā kare o te riri, ko te tahurihuri ia ka āwhina ki te whakaiti i aua kare.

Ka taea e koe te whakamahi i tētahi ataata rorirori, i tētahi kata rānei hei whakamama i tōna riri. Mā te whakararuraru i a ia e āwhina kia hoki ki tōna āhua noa, ahakoa mō tētahi hēkona, me te whakaaroaro ki te āhua o tana tauhohenga. Heoi, me mahi noa tēnei mēnā he riri ngawari tō hoa. Mēnā he nui ngā raruraru riri o tētahi tangata, ka nui ake tōna riri.

Te Whakaipoipo i tētahi e raru ana te riri – Ngā Rautaki Tohunga hei Whakaoti i te Hua

I te mea kei te pānui tonu koe, ka taea e tātou te whakaaro he raruraru riri tō hoa, kāore rānei koe i te mōhio me pēhea te whakatau tetahi e whakapae ana i a koe mō ngā mea katoaĀ, ko taua riri tonu, ko te hau o te kino – kei te whakararuraru katoa i a koe i roto i te pouri nui. E aroha ana mātou ki a koe. Heoi anō, ehara i te mea ngāwari te noho tahi me tētahi tangata he raruraru riri, he whakaipoipo rānei. Mena ka taea e koe te pupuri i te hinengaro tuwhera me te whakaharatau i te manawanui mō tētahi wā roa ake, ka taea e mātou te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i tētahi hoa riri.

Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ki te wikitoria i te riri me te mauahara i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te mārama ki ngā huringa o te riri. E whakamārama ana a Pooja, "E rima ngā wāhanga o te huringa whakaoho o te riri: te whakaoho, te whakanui, te raruraru, te whakaoranga, me te pouri. Mā te mārama ki te huringa ka āwhina i a tātou ki te mārama ki ā tātou ake tauhohenga me ngā tauhohenga a ētahi atu." Anei ngā wāhanga e rima o te riri:

• Wāhanga 1 o te riri: Ko te wāhanga whakaoho ko te wā ka tīmata ai te huringa riri i tētahi huihuinga
• Rau 2: Ko te wāhanga piki haere ko te wā e whakarite ana tō tātou tinana mō tētahi āhuatanga ohorere me te piki haere o te manawa me te tere o te ngakau me te pikinga o te toto toto. Ka pēpeke ngā uaua, ka nui ake te reo, ka rerekē rānei te reo, ka huri te āhua o ō tātou kanohi, ka nui ake ngā kamo, ka hinga ngā tukemata.
• Rau 3: Ko te wā raruraru ko te wā e uru mai ai tō tātou wairua ora (te whawhai, te rere rānei). Kāore i te kounga te whakatau a ngā whakatau i tēnei wā.
• Rau 4: Ka puta te wāhanga whakaora i muri i te mahi i puta i te wā raruraru. Ka tīmata te whakaaro ki te whakakapi i te urupare ora.
• Rau 5: Ko te wā pouri i muri i te raruraru nui ko te wā e heke ai te tere o te ngakau i raro i te tikanga kia taea ai e te tinana te whakahoki mai i tōna taurite. Ka pāngia tātou e te hara, te pouri, te pouri rānei o te ngākau.

Te noho tahi me tētahi take riri ka pā ki tō hauora hinengaro. Engari he koretake noa iho te hoatu tohutohu ki tō hoa rangatira kia marino ai i te wā e piki haere ana te riri, i te wā raruraru rānei. Kāore rātou i te hinengaro tika i taua wā. Kei te whakararuraru tō rātou riri i ō rātou hinengaro me ōu hinengaro anō hoki. Nō reira, anei ētahi tohutohu a ngā tohunga mō te whakatau i tētahi hoa tāne/wahine/hoa rangatira e riri ana:

1. Tuhia ngā mea e whakaoho ana i tō hoa

Hei whakatau i te whanonga pukuriri, te riri nui rānei o tō hoa, me neke whakamua koe i a rātou. Nō reira, he riri nui tō hoa. Engari he aha te take o tēnei? He mea tino nui te tautuhi i ēnei mea hei whakaiti i te riri i roto i te whanaungatanga, engari me pēhea?

Ka whakahoki a Pooja, "Ko te taahiraa tuatahi ko te tirotiro me te whakaaroaro engari i ētahi wā ehara i te mea ngāwari ki te tautuhi i a rātou anō. Nō reira me rapu āwhina te tangata i tētahi tohunga hinengaro haumanu whai raihana." Mena ka whakaarohia e koe te whai wāhi ki te tohutohu, rōpū o nga tohunga kei konei tonu hei āwhina i a koe me ngā tikanga maha. Anei ētahi tauira noa o ngā mea e whakaoho ana i te riri. Tirohia mēnā ka arahi tētahi o ēnei ki te pahūtanga o te riri a tō hoa:

• Te kore whakaute/te kore whai mana/te kore whakarongo
• Reo whakakino
• Te aukati waka
• Te takahi o waahi whaiaro
• Te taumaha mahi
• Nga raru o te tahua
• Te kore whakamihi/te kore manaakitanga tika

2. Kōrerotia ki tō hoa ngā tikanga whakatō whenua

I a ia e tuku tohutohu ana mō te whakatau i tētahi tangata e raru ana i te riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, e kī ana a Pooja, "Kei te mahara koe ki te wāhanga piki haere o te riri? I roto i tēnei, ka whakarite tō tātou tinana mō tētahi raruraru me te tere o te manawa, te tere o te manawa, me te piki haere o te toto toto. Ka pēhia ngā uaua ki te mahi, ka nui ake te reo, ka nui haere ngā kamo. Mea atu ki tō hoa kia mōhio ki ēnei mea i te wā e riri ana rātou. Tērā pea ka rerekē anō hoki te tū o ō rātou tinana." 

Ko te rautaki i whakaarohia e Pooja e kiia ana ko te whakapūmau. rangahau e kī ana, he mea noa tēnei tikanga i waenga i ngā kaiwhakaora nekehanga kanikani me ngā kaiwhakaora hinengaro tinana. E whakaatu ana i te noho ā-tinana me te ā-hinengaro pumau, e tautokona ana e te whenua. Mena kei te ngana tō hoa ki te ako me pēhea te whakamutu i te riri me te pukuriri, anei ētahi atu tikanga whakatōtika ka taea e rātou te whakamahi hei whakamarie i a rātou anō:

• Te whakarongo ki te waiata
• Te whakarārangi i ngā mea e hari ai rātou
• Te pā atu ki tētahi mea whakamarie (me te pā atu ki te papanga i runga i tō rātou kiri)
• Te noho tahi me te mōkai
• Te mātakitaki i ngā ataata rorirori
• Te whakaae ki te pūtake o ngā kare ā-roto: Te mamae, te pōuri, te ngenge, me ētahi atu.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Tūkino Kōrero i roto i ngā Hononga: Ngā Tohu, Ngā Pānga me Me Pēhea te Whakatau

3. Whakaarohia ngā tikanga whanonga

Kāore pea koe i te mōhio, engari me pēhea mēnā kei te rapu tohutohu anō hoki tō hoa mō te whakahaere i te riri i roto i te whanaungatanga? Kāore noa ia i te mōhio me pēhea te whakahaere i ō rātou kare ā-roto kino me ngā whakaaro koretake i roto i te huarahi pai. rangahau e tohu ana he tino whai hua ngā tikanga whakarerekētanga whanonga me te hinengaro i roto i ngā take riri i roto i te marena, i te whanaungatanga rānei. Anei ētahi o ngā tikanga whanonga kua whakaaetia e te APA (American Psychological Association) ka taea e tō hoa te whakamahi:

• Te whakahua anō i ngā kupu marino ki a rātou anō pērā i te "Whakangāwari noa" me te "Kia ata noho"
• Te kī "E hiahia ana ahau" kaua ko te "E tono ana ahau" me te "Me whai ahau"
• Te āta haere me te whakaaro i mua i te whakautu
• Te whakamahi i te whakakatakata hei huarahi hei whakatau i te raruraru 

4. Kia manawanui, kia atawhai hoki ki tētahi hoa riri

"Ina noho tahi koe me tētahi tangata riri, kia mōhio koe kei te pā kino hoki tōna riri ki tōna hauora hinengaro. Ka taea e ia te whakaiti i tōna whakapono ki a ia anō me tōna whakaute ki a ia anō," te kī a Pooja. Kei te patu i a ia mai i roto. Nō reira, ka taea e koe te ngana ki te kia nui ake te aroha ki tō hoa riri, kaua e tohu atu ki a ia. 

Ka tāpiri atu a Pooja, "Kaua e whakautu wawe. Tukua kia pahemo te urupare wawe, kātahi ka whakautu. Kōrerohia te take ki te tangata ina marino kōrua." Nō reira, ko tētahi tohutohu a te tohunga mō te whakatau i tētahi tangata riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga ko te tuku i te kaha kino kia pahemo i te tuatahi. Kātahi ka kōrerohia he mea whaitake. Ka nui ake tō rātou tuwhera ki te mārama ki tō tirohanga ina marino rātou.

Mena kei te hiahia rātou ki te tango i te kawenga mō ā rātou mahi, ā, he wairua whakaoti rapanga tō rātou, ka taea e koe te kī atu kia uru atu rātou ki ngā akomanga whakahaere riri. Mā te whakapumautanga noa iho kei konei koe i tēnei ao hē, hei pupuri i ō rātou ringa, ka tata atu pea koe ki te taumata teitei ake. te hanga i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora.

5. Tuhia koe ki te tuatahi

Ina raru koe i te whakaaro me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi hoa riri, ko te tiaki i a koe anō te mea nui rawa atu māu. Ka tae mai he īmēra mai i ā mātou kaipānui: Ka tere te riri o te hoa tāne a tētahi, ā, ka pakaru ngā mea. Ka mea mai tētahi atu, "Ka whawhai māua ko taku hoa wahine i ia rā mō ngā mea iti noa iho." He nui atu anō. Ā, kei te noho katoa rātou i roto i te rua rāpeti o te whakaaro kino.

Nō reira, i a koe e mahi tahi ana me tētahi tangata he riri tōna, me waihanga e koe he taiao pai mōu ake hei whakatipu i te kaha pai. Anei ētahi tohutohu māu:

• Tiakina koe mā te yoga/whakaaroaro, mā te inu tī rānei, mā te kaukau rānei (ka noho haumaru koe mō tētahi atu mēnā he pakari tō tinana)
• Kaua e patu whakahere i tetahi mea e arohaina ana e tō ngākau hei whakamarie i te tangata tāne riri he hoa ranei
• KAUA rawa (ahakoa mō tētahi hēkona) e whakapono kei te hē tetahi mea i a koe, me huri rānei koe kia iti ake ai tō rātou riri/whakatoi
• Kia mōhio tonu ki tō whānau, ki ō hoa rānei mō tō āhuatanga. He maha ngā wā ka whakamama te whakapuaki i te mamae.
• Hangaia he mahere haumaru taipitopito – ko wai ka taea e koe te waea atu, ko hea rānei ka taea e koe te haere i roto i ngā āhuatanga morearea. Kia mau tonu ngā nama waea āwhina mō te tūkino ā-whare ā-motu mēnā he hoa mahi tukino tāu.

Te pānui e pā ana: 11 Ngā Mea Hei Mahi Ina He Kino Te Tangata Ki A Koe I Roto I Te Hononga

6. Kaua e aro ki te kore whakaute

Ahakoa i tono mātou kia atawhai koe i tō hoa, ehara i te mea kei te whakamārama mātou i ā rātou mahi i tētahi taumata. Kāore hoki mātou e kī atu kia noho tonu koe, kia manawanui ki tēnei tukino hinengaro. Tū atu ki a koe anō ina takahi rātou i te rārangi o te tikanga rangatira, ā, ina whakahē rātou i a koe, ina tawai, ina tukino rānei i a koe i tētahi atu ara. Kāore e tika kia nui te reo, kia pukuriri rānei i ngā wā katoa. Ahakoa te whakarongo puku i muri i ia pakanga, he momo whakahē anō hoki.

Koinā te wā e whai hua ai ō pūkenga kōrero. Ina whakahē ana koe i ō hoa rangatira/hoa rangatira e riri ana, me āta whiriwhiri koe i ō kupu kia kore ai e whakanuia rawatia te tautohetohe. Kia mōhio koe ki te pūtake o aua kupu, e tuwhera ana koe ki te kōrero mō te take, engari i te wa ano, kia mārama te huarahi e takahia ana e rātou tōu. rohe aronganui.

• Whakatakotoria he rohe mā te kī atu, "Kāore au e pai kia hamamatia. E hiahia ana ahau kia mārama ki tō whakaaro. Engari ehara tēnei i te wā tika."
• Ka taea hoki e koe te kī atu, "E mārama ana ahau kei te pouri koe. Engari kei te huri haere taku aro i tēnei wā. Me hono anō tāua i tētahi wā pai ake?"
• Me kī atu tēnei mēnā kei te pōuri koe, "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe. Engari he uaua ki te whakarongo ina hamama nui koe. Me whakamōhio mai ki ahau ina taea e koe te kōrero me te kore e tohu i ō maihao. Kei konei tonu ahau mōu"

7. Whakaarohia te pikitia whānui

I tēnei wā, he iti noa ngā pātai hei pātai atu māu ki a koe anō, hei kimi i ō ake whakautu. Me wehewehe e tātou māu:

• Me whai rautaki koe mō te wā roa? Ko tā mātou e kī nei, kei te tata koe ki te wehe i te whanaungatanga mēnā kāore ēnei tikanga whakahaere riri e whakaatu i ngā hua tere? Kāore rānei, kua whakatau koe ki te noho tahi me tēnei tangata mō te toenga o tō oranga?

• Ki te whakaaro koe ki te noho, me tirotiro tuatahi koe i āu ake mahi. He aha tetahi mea kei te mahia e koe e tino whakapataritari ana i tō hoa riri? Ka taea tonu te kōrero me te whakatau i ēnei take mā te wawaotanga a te kaitohutohu a te tokorua.

• Mena kei roto i a rātou te raruraru, me ako koe ki te whiriwhiri i ō pakanga mō tō ake hinengaro pai i te wā roa. Māu e whakatau ko ēhea e tika ana kia whawhaitia, ā, me tuku atu e koe ngā toenga.

• Hei whakamutunga, ki te whakamātau koe i ēnei mea katoa, ā, kāore tonu i te angitu, kaua e whakama mō te wehe atu i tō marena te whanaungatanga rānei. Kia tino wehe koe i te whanaungatanga i tētahi wāhi tūmatanui hei whakarite i tō haumaru, ā, kia whakapuakina ngā mea katoa ki a rātou me te ngākau pono me te pono.

Ko tā mātou e tumanako nei kia mārama ake koe ki te huarahi hei whakatau i tētahi tangata riri i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Kia maumahara hoki, ehara tō mahi i te whakarerekē i tō hoa rangatira, i te 'whakatika' rānei i a ia. Ko tāu noa iho he āwhina i a rātou me te aroha me ō ake rohe, me te whakarite i tētahi taiao mahi tahi, kaua ki te whakahaere. I taua wā anō, kāore koe e hiahia kia ngohengohe, kia mataku hoki i tō hoa rangatira. Kia whakaute i a rātou, engari kia kaha hoki te whakaaro kia whiwhi ai koe i te whakaute e tika ana māu.

He tangata tātou katoa, he mārama tonu ō tātou hapa me ō tātou ngoikoretanga. Me whai wāhi tō hoa ki te wikitoria i ō rātou raruraru riri. I taua wā anō, kei a koe ō ake herenga, ā, he iti noa iho ngā mea ka taea e koe te mahi hei āwhina i a rātou me te kore e kino ki tō ake hauora hinengaro. Whakamātauria ngā mea katoa kei roto i tō kaha kia kore ai koe e pouri i muri mai, ahakoa te whakatau ka mahia e koe i te mutunga.

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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