11 Ngā Momo Wehenga e Hoki Anō Ana me ngā Wātaka

Me kī, kua mutu tō kōrua hononga ināianei tata nei, ā, kua whakatau kōrua ko tō hoa o mua kia wehe mā te rangimārie. Ahakoa tō hiahia kia neke atu, kei reira tonu tētahi wāhanga o roto i a koe kāore e whakaae kua mutu. Ka whakaaro koe, "Me pēhea mēnā ko tā tāua he momo wehenga ka hoki anō te noho tahi?" Ā, tera pea he tika tāu! Tērā pea kei te toe tonu ētahi tumanako mō tō 'harikoa ake ake'. Tirohia a Jennifer Lopez rāua ko Ben Affleck, hei tauira. I wehe rāua i te tau 2004 engari i hoki anō te aroha i muri i ngā tau, ā, ka moe i te tau 2022! Ki taku whakaaro he aroha pono. Engari he aha ngā momo wehenga ka hoki anō te noho tahi?

Mā tēnei pātai ka whakaaro pea koe me pēhea te whakahoki i te whanaungatanga ki tētahi i wehea e rātou. Ka taea e ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te hoki tahi anō i muri i ngā marama e wehe ana, me te kore he kawa i waenganui i a rātou? Ā, e hia ōrau o ngā wehenga ka hoki tahi anō? Ko te mea nui ake, he pai te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga? Kaua e manukanuka, nā te mea kua ruku hohonu mātou ki te horopaki, ā, kua whakahuatia ake ētahi tatauranga e tautokona ana e te rangahau hei whakaatu ki a koe me pēhea te whakaora anō i ngā whanaungatanga pakaru o mua e ēnei tāne me te wāhine, me te noho harikoa tonu! Nō reira, me ruku tātou ki roto…

Kia pēhea te auau o te hoki tahi a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine?

He mea whakamīharo, ehara i te mea tauhou mō ngā hoa kua whakarerea me ngā hoa kua kore i marenatia kua wehe (ahakoa kua wehe mā te rangimarie, kāore rānei). Inaa, he kupu anō kei reira e whakamārama ana i ēnei momo hoa hou e hoki ana ki ā rātou hoa o mua . E mōhiotia ana rātou ko ngā "hoa yo-yo," pērā i te yo-yo, ka hoki whakamuri rātou i muri i te wehenga tuatahi.

E whakaatu ana hoki tētahi rangahau ko ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e wehe ana i te ara kotahi ka hoki anō ki te whakaora i ō rāua hononga. Inaa, i kite ngā kairangahau i whakahaere i te rangahau e 44% o ngā taiohi mai i te 17 ki te 24 tau te pakeke i hoki anō ki ā rātou hoa o mua, ā, e 53% i kī kua moe rātou ki tētahi hoa o mua. Waihoki, i roto i tētahi rangahau i te tau 2013 nā te ahorangi o te Whare Wānanga o Kansas State, a Amber Vennum, i kī ko te 37% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e noho tahi ana me te 23% o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua marenatia i uru ki te rangahau kua houhia te rongo ki ā rātou hoa i muri i te wehenga.

Pānui e pā ana: Te Kore o te Aroha me te Whawhai i roto i te Hononga — 9 Ngā Huarahi e Pā Ana ki a Koe

Kia pēhea te roa o te wā ka hoki tahi anō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i muri i te wehenga?

Nā te mea kua mōhio tātou he pai noa iho mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine kua wehe i mua kia hoki tahi anō, tera pea koe e whakaaro ana, kia pēhea te roa o te wā ka hoki tahi anō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i muri i te wehenga? Āe, kāore he whakautu pumau mō tēnei, ā, ko te houhanga rongo i muri i te wehenga ka roa pea mai i ētahi rā ki ētahi tau, i runga i te kaha o te wehenga. Engari i whakaarohia e mātou ētahi tauira, ā, i kitea e mātou kei runga i ētahi āhuatanga o roto, o waho hoki. Anei:

• Kāhua whakaurunga: Ko te hunga whai momo piri āwangawanga ka nui ake te hiahia ki te aroha i te hunga whai momo piri karo. Ko ēnei tāngata te hunga e tīmata ana i ngā hononga hou nā te mea ka wehe atu rātou i ngā whanaungatanga ina pōuri ana, ā, ka hoki mai anō i te wā ka tīmata te ngaro o te aroha. Nō reira, i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka taea te puta ngā hononga hou ahakoa i roto i te marama kotahi o te wehenga.
• Te whakaute whaiaro: Mena he kawa, he tukino te wehenga, tera pea kāore te hunga whai whakaaro nui ki a rātou anō e hiahia ki te hoki anō. Engari ko te hunga e hiahia ana ki tētahi whanaungatanga kia pai ai te noho mō rātou anō, tera pea ka whakaiti i tō rātou whakaute ki a rātou anō, ka wehe, kātahi ka hoki anō ki te noho tahi i roto i ētahi rā.
• Hiahia: He rerekē ngā momo hiahia o te tangata. Ahakoa he moepuku, he moni, he mana pāpori rānei, ko ngā hiahia nui rawa atu o te tangata e akiaki ana i te tangata ki te hoki ki tōna hoa o mua, ahakoa i muri i te marama, i te ono marama rānei.
• Ngā āhuatanga: I ētahi wā, ka pai ake pea ngā āhuatanga o te ao. Tērā pea ka whiwhi tetahi hoa i tētahi mahi e oati ana mō tētahi oranga pai ake, ka neke rānei ki te tāone o tōna hoa o mua, ki reira e whakaaro ana rāua ka taea e rāua te noho tahi me te harikoa. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, tērā pea ka wehe ngā hoa, kātahi ka hoki tahi me te kore he maha o ngā raruraru.

E ai ki te kaituhi, ki te tohunga hinengaro hoki, a Grant Brenner, ko te wā e hoki tahi ai ngā tāne me ngā wāhine te mea mā rātou anō, engari e kī ana me haere te tangata i te wā mamae tuatahi i muri i te wehenga, ka tatari kia tino mōhio rātou kāore he urupare, he kore rānei e pā kino ki a rātou. Me hoki anō te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi kia taea ai te kōrero anō.

11 Ngā Momo Wehenga e Hoki Anō Ana me ngā Wātaka

Nō reira, ka taea te whakarōpū i ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e wehe ana, ā, e hoki tahi ana ki ngā momo? Mena āe, e hia ngā momo pēnei? Ka tirohia e tātou tētahi tauira. I ētahi wā, ka akiakihia te tangata e te raruraru kia whakaoho anō i tō rātou aroha. Tirohia a Ben Stiller rāua ko Christine Taylor. Ko rāua tētahi o ngā tauira rongonui o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i wehe, ā, i hoki tahi anō. Ā, me pēhea? I tūtaki anō rāua i te wā o te mate urutā COVID-19 hei painga mō ā rāua tamariki. I a Ben Stiller e kōrero ana mō tēnei mea, i whakamārama ia, "Kātahi, i te roanga o te wā, ka whanake haere. I wehea māua, ā, i hoki tahi anō, ā, e harikoa ana māua mō tēnā."

I puta mai tā rāua raruraru i waho o te tūponotanga. Me titiro tātou ki ētahi atu momo wehenga e hoki tahi ana nā ētahi atu take. Heoi, he whakamātautau noa iho ngā wā kua whakahuatia i konei:

1. "Āe, haere atu i tōku ao!"

Ka mahia tēnei momo wehenga i te wā e werawera ana te hononga. He rite tonu tēnei momo wehenga ki tētahi 'kāri mohoao' hei wikitoria, hei whakamutu rānei i tētahi tautohe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Nō reira, ko te "Kāore au e hiahia ki te noho tahi me koe i ēnei rā" ka whai ake ko te "Hei, e mōhio ana koe kāore au i te whakaaro pēnā." He maha ngā wehenga me ngā whakatikatika a tētahi o ōku hoa, a Debbie, ki tāna hoa tāne. I tana kōrero mai ki ahau i muri i tana wehenga whakamutunga, ka mea ia, "Tērā pea ka hoki anō māua ko taku hoa o mua ki te whakatikatika. E tino mōhio ana ahau ka waea mai ia ki ahau i roto i ētahi rā."

Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

Kei te whakaaro koe mēnā he wā poto, he wā pumau rānei tēnei wehenga? He wā poto noa iho, he pono. Ā, kia pēhea te roa? Kāore i te roa rawa. Tērā pea ka wehe ohorere ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i te pō, ā, ka whakatika i te ata i muri mai. Ko te āhuatanga kino rawa atu: tērā pea ka roa te pakanga whakapehapeha mō ngā rā e rua. Koinā anake. Ko te wā poto rawa pea mō tēnei wehenga.

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2. "Kāore e taea e au te ora me te kore koe"

Ko te momo wehenga tuarua e hoki tahi ana ko tērā e puta ana i roto i ngā whanaungatanga whakawhirinaki-tahi . Ko ēnei whanaungatanga auau, auau, he takahuri paitini/whakaaweawe, he uaua ki te mawhiti. Ka noho tahi ngā tāne me ngā wāhine nā te mea kāore e taea e rātou te whakaaro i tētahi tuakiri me te kore tētahi atu. He pai te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei? Kāore rawa. Inaa, e whakaatu ana ngā rangahau ko ngā hoa hurihanga (ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i wehe, ā, i hoki tahi anō i ngā wā maha) e kī ana he iti ake te kounga whanaungatanga - he iti ake te aroha, te makona ki te hiahia, me te makona ki te moepuku.

Kāore tonu tēnei kounga iti o te whanaungatanga e kaha ki te wehe i a rāua nā te mea kei te whakaatu tetahi o ngā hoa/ngā hoa e rua i ngā tohu o te hiahia nui. I roto ahau i tētahi whanaungatanga ōrite i mua. I oati tonu ahau ki aku hoa ka mutu taku whanaungatanga mō ake tonu atu. Engari kāore i taea e au te pupuri i taua whakatau, ā, i kitea e au te ara ki taku hoa tāne o mua i ngā wā katoa.

Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

Kāore i te roa te wā i waenganui i te wehenga me te hokinga tahi anō i roto i ēnei momo whanaungatanga. I muri i ētahi rā, i ētahi wiki rānei i te wehenga, ka tūtaki anō te tokorua.

3. "Me whai wāhi noa ahau"

Ko te momo wehenga, te 'wehenga' rānei e whai ake nei, kua rongonuihia e Ross rāua ko Rachel i roto i te kiriata Friends . Mena kei te whakaaro koe mēnā he wehenga rangitahi, he wehenga pumau rānei tēnei momo wehenga, he mārama noa te whakautu. I tēnei take, ka wehe ngā tāne me te whakaaro kia hoki tahi anō i muri i te whakaaroaro, te whakaaroaro rānei ki a rātou anō. E hiahia ana rātou ki te okioki i te whanaungatanga, ā, he wehenga pai tonu, he wehenga e ahu mai ana i te māramatanga o te katoa.

Heoi anō, he tino pōhēhē tonu ngā 'wāwāhi'. Inaa, e whakaatu ana ngā rangahau he maha ngā kaiuru i hihirihia i te wā kotahi ki te noho tonu ki roto i ā rātou whanaungatanga, me te wehe atu, e kī ana he wheako noa te ruarua mō te hunga e whakaaro ana ki te whakamutu i ā rātou whanaungatanga. Ko tēnei 'wairuarua' te tino take e ruarua ai te iwi i ā rātou wehenga.

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Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

E rua wiki pea, e rua marama rānei te roa o ēnei 'wā okiokinga'. Mā tēnei wā wehe ka tirohia te pono o te whanaungatanga mō ngā hoa tokorua. Kātahi ka hoki tahi rāua, me te hinengaro hou, me te āhua hou o rāua anō.

4. "E hiahia ana ahau kia noho takakau"

Ko te momo wehenga e whai ake nei ko te āhuatanga rongonui 'he matomato ake te tarutaru i tērā taha'. I konei, ka hiahia pea ngā hoa ki te whakataa i te whanaungatanga kia noho takakau ai mō tētahi wā. Me tango tātou i te tauira o taku hoa, o Xavier. Nō nā tata nei ia i wehe ai i tana hoa wahine nā te mea i ngaro ia i te oranga takakau . Engari ko te moemoeā mō te 'oranga takakau' kāore i rite ki tōna ao tūturu. I te wā i taea ai e ia te eke takitahi, ko tana i hiahia ai ko te hoki ki tana hoa o mua me te awhi i a ia. Ā, nō reira ka whakatikatika rāua!

Kāore tēnei huringa 'wehewehe me te whakatikatika' e herea noa ki ngā whanaungatanga. E pā ana hoki ki ngā marena i ētahi wā. Inaa, e ai ki ngā rangahau , neke atu i te kotahi hautoru o ngā tāngata e noho tahi ana me te kotahi haurima o ngā hoa rangatira kua pāngia e te wehenga me te whakahoutanga o tō rātou whanaungatanga o nāianei. Ā, koinei te whakautu ki tō pātai, "E hia ōrau o ngā wehenga ka hoki anō ki te noho tahi?"

Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

Pērā i te take i runga ake nei, ko ēnei wehenga, ina hiahia ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga kia pai ai te noho takakau, ka roa pea mō ngā marama e rua. Whai muri i te wehenga, tera pea ka kite rātou kāore i te tino ātaahua ngā hoa kē atu.

5. "I tinihanga koe i ahau!"

Koinei te momo wehenga e hoki tahi ai i muri i te puremu . E ai ki tētahi rangahau , ko te 37% o ngā whakarere i te US ko ngā moepuku me te puremu. Engari e hia ōrau o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e noho tahi ana i muri i te tinihanga a tētahi o ngā hoa? He iti noa ngā māramatanga pono mō tēnei kaupapa. Heoi, e whakaatu ana tētahi rangahau ko te 15.6% anake o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ka taea te whakapau kaha ki te noho tahi i muri i te puremu.

Heoi anō, he maha ngā arai i te wehenga me te hoki tahi anō, i tēnei wā. E kī ana te tohunga hinengaro a Nandita Rambhia , "Me whiti te tokorua i ngā ara maha i te ara. Tuatahi, ka pāngia rāua e te hara - ko tētahi, ko te hara o te tinihanga, ko tētahi, ko te hara o te kore e ranea. Ka pātai tonu te hoa kua tinihangatia mēnā he mea kāore i a rāua, ā, tera pea i akiaki i tā rāua hoa aroha ki te moe tahi."

Nō reira, he pai te whai hua o te whakataa i tētahi whanaungatanga i roto i ēnei āhuatanga? I tuhituhi tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit , "Ko te mea mō te tinihanga, kāore koe e wareware. Ka noho tonu ki muri i tō mahunga. Kāore he kōwhiringa atu i a koe engari ko te kite i tēnei tangata hei tangata ka taea te whara i a koe. Kāore pea rātou e tinihanga anō, engari kua roa rawa, ā, kāore e taea e koe te whakawhirinaki anō ki a rātou."

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Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

He rerekē te roanga o te wā mo te wehenga i roto i ēnei āhuatanga, i ia tokorua. Hei tauira, tera pea ka poto ake te wā (e rua ngā rā/marama) kia hoki anō ai te tokorua mēnā he puremu, he takaro noa iho rānei, he kihi kotahi rānei. I tētahi atu taha, tera pea ka roa ake te wā (e rua ngā marama/tau) kia ora ai te tokorua i muri i te whanaungatanga nui ki tētahi hoa mahi.

6. "E te Atua, me i tika te wā"

He wehenga tūpono tēnei, ā, he mea pouri noa iho, i roto i te āhua o te kiriata Hollywood. Tērā pea nā te arotahi o tētahi hoa ki te tipu takitahi, ki te whanaketanga whaiaro rānei. Ā, tata tonu, he take kei raro iho. Hei whakamārama ake, anei ētahi tauira matarohia o te momo wehenga 'tangata tika, wā hē' :

• "Aroha ana ahau ki a koe, engari me aro tonu ahau ki aku whakamātautau i tēnei wā tonu"
• "Āe, me i noho tāua i te tāone kotahi. He uaua ki te whakahaere i tēnei"
• "He nui rawa tōku aroha ki a koe, engari kāore anō kia rite mō tētahi herenga nui"
• "Kei te akiaki taku whānau i ahau kia marena ki tētahi atu"

Nō reira, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine i wehe, ā, i hoki tahi anō, i wehe nā te 'wā hē' i te tuatahi. He tokomaha i uru ki ngā whanaungatanga tawhiti, kātahi ka wehe mō te wā poto nā te kore mārama me te kore whakaaro pai. Engari ko te hunga pēnei te mea pea ka hoki anō ina huri ngā āhuatanga.

Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

Tērā pea ka roa pea te hoki tahi i muri i tētahi wehenga pēnei i roto i ētahi marama, i ētahi tau rānei. Kei te wā e whakatauhia ai te raruraru/take o te wehenga, kei te wā rānei e puta ai ētahi huringa pai.

7. "Ka aroha tonu ahau ki a koe"

E kitea ana te wehenga me te hoki tahi mēnā kei te kaha tonu te aroha. E whakaatu ana ngā taunakitanga ko te 'roa o ngā kare ā-roto' tētahi o ngā tino take mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e wehe ana, ā, e hoki tahi ana i muri i ngā tau. Hei tauira, e rima tau te roa o taku hokinga ki taku hoa o mua. I whakaipoipo ahau i ētahi tāngata i waenganui, engari kāore tetahi i taea te aroha ki ahau pērā i a ia.

Engari he aha rā te take e mau tonu ai ēnei kare ā-roto i roto i a tātou, i ngā tau kua pahure ake nei? E whakamārama ana te tohunga hinengaro hinengaro a Gaurav Deka , "Ina tūtaki ngā tāngata tokorua, ka mōhio pai rātou tetahi ki tetahi, ehara i te mea i te taumata hinengaro anake, engari i te taumata tinana anō hoki. Ahakoa he paitini, e hiahia ana te tinana ki taua hononga io, ā, ka hangaia he turanga pakari."

"Ko tētahi atu take hinengaro e tuku ai te tangata i tētahi whai wāhitanga tuarua i roto i ngā whanaungatanga ko te mōhio. Me kī, koinei te āhua o tō whare. Ahakoa he kino tō māmā me tō pāpā, ka whai wāhi tonu koe ki te raruraru o te whānau, nā te mea he wāhi whānau. Pērā anō hoki mō ētahi atu whanaungatanga."

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Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

He mea takitahi te roa o te wā i konei. E rima tau pea te roa o te wā mō ētahi tāngata ki te hoki ki ā rātou hoa o mua, ko ētahi ia ka roa ake te wā. Ā, kei reira anō ētahi tāne me ngā wāhine e hoki tahi ana me ā rātou hoa o mua i muri i te 20 tau.

8. "E hiahia ana ahau kia noho hoa tonu tāua i muri i te wehenga"

E whakaatu ana ngā rangahau ko te pupuri i te hononga i muri i te wehenga he huarahi noa hei whakaiti i te mamae o te ngākau pouri. Engari e tohu ana hoki tēnei ko te noho tonu ki te whakapā atu ki tētahi hoa o mua ka arahi pea ki te hononga hou. E ai ki te kaiako kaiārahi a Kena Shree , "Ka taea tonu e koe te aroha ki tō hoa o mua, i a koe e piripono ana ki tētahi atu. Nā te mea kei te titiro koe ki tō hoa o mua mai i tawhiti. Ko te noho hoa ki tō hoa o mua e whakaatu ana i ngā momo āhua o rātou kāore koe i mōhio kei reira. Nō reira, kei te tūpono koe ki te aroha anō ki a rātou."

Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

Ka roa pea te wā i waenganui i te wehenga me te whakahou i te whanaungatanga. Mēnā he kōrero tuwhera, he auau hoki ki tō hoa o mua, kāore pea koe e āhei ki te neke atu.

9. "Me whanake tātou"

Ko ngā momo tāne me ngā wāhine e wehe ana, ā, e hoki tahi ana, ko ērā e mahi ana i tēnei hei whakawhanake i a rātou anō. I ētahi wā, ka puta ngā wehenga nā te mea he raruraru whaiaro, he raruraru huna rānei kei roto i te whanaungatanga o tētahi, o rāua rānei, pērā i te whara o te tamarikitanga, te whara rānei o te whanaungatanga o mua, e whakaatahia ana ki te whanaungatanga. He wehenga pai tēnei, i te nuinga o te wā. Ā, i ētahi wā, ki te waimarie rātou, ka whakaaroaro te tangata ki a ia anō, ka whiwhi tirohanga hou, ka mahi i a rātou anō, ka puta he huringa pai, ā, ka hoki tahi anō i muri i ngā tau, hei putanga whanaketanga o rātou anō. Ahakoa he hae, he riri rānei , kāore rātou e whakahoki anō i ngā hapa kotahi.

Anei ētahi rautaki e whakamahia ana e te tangata hei whakapakari i a rātou anō:

• Te tango i te kawenga katoa mō ngā wā katoa i he ai rātou
• Te whakahaere i ngā tumanakohanga (ina koa ko ngā mea kāore i te tino pono)
• Te kimi i tētahi tuakiri i waho o te whanaungatanga
• Te rapu āwhina ngaio mai i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai tohu

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Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

Kāore he wā pumau mō te hoki tahi anō i muri i te wehenga pēnei i tēnei. Ka tupu tēnei ina mōhio te tokorua, ā, ka whakaae kei te hiahia rāua ki tētahi raruraru whaiaro hei whakatika, ā, kei te aroha tonu rāua tetahi ki tetahi.

10. "Ka kitea e au te ara hoki atu ki a koe"

Ko te wehenga o te mura māhanga tētahi o ngā momo wehenga ka hoki tahi anō. Tērā pea ka pāngia koe e te wehenga 'mura māhanga' ina tae koe ki te wā raruraru. Tērā pea ko koe te mea e oma atu ana, ā, kei te whaia koe e tō wairua māhanga, tērā pea ko koe anō te mea e whaia ana e tō wairua māhanga, tērā pea ko koe anō te mea e wehe ana i runga i te rangimārie. Tērā pea kei te huri haere kōrua i waenga i ngā tūranga o te kaiwhai me te kaiaru. Ko te kaupapa matua o te wā ko te whakatārewatanga i a koe anō mai i te hononga mura māhanga nā te āhua whakamataku o te whanaungatanga e pā ana ki a kōrua.

Ka roa pea tēnei āhuatanga kia mōhio rā anō ngā hoa tokorua kei te whakahaerehia tō rāua hononga e ngā mana kei tua atu i tō rāua mana whakahaere. Nui atu tō rāua ngaro i tō rāua ahi māhanga, ā, ko te wehenga o te ahi māhanga te take mō te hoki tahi.

Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

Kāore e taea te karo i te hoki tahi anō i muri i tētahi wehenga pēnei. Ka roa pea te wehenga o ngā hoa māhanga mō ngā wiki, ngā marama, ngā tau, tae noa ki te roanga o te oranga. I roto i tēnei wehenga, ka takaro tētahi i te tūranga o te 'kaieke', ko tētahi ko te 'kaiwhai'.

11. "Kei te ngaro tetahi mea"

Ko tētahi atu momo wehenga tēnei e hoki tahi ai. Kia pono tātou. Kua noho pea tātou katoa i roto i ngā whanaungatanga āhua hoha, kāore he wairua hei whakamarie i a tātou, hei whakapūmau hoki i te ngākau. Nō reira, tera pea kua noho tahi kōrua mō ētahi marama, mō ngā tau rānei, engari kei te whakaaro koe kei te ngaro tetahi mea: kāore i te pai te moepuku, kua wareware rānei kōrua tetahi ki tetahi, ā, kāore e hiahia ana ki te whakamanawareka tetahi ki tetahi.

Ahakoa e whakaaro ana te tokorua me mutu te whanaungatanga , me mutu rānei mō ake tonu atu, ka whakaroa rāua me te kore "kōrero" nā te mea he tino pai rawa atu kōrua, ā, ka pāngia kōrua e te wehenga, tae noa ki te whakatau a tētahi o kōrua ki te whakamutu i te whanaungatanga. Tērā pea nā te mea he matomato ake te tarutaru i tērā taha, ā, kāore te iwi e mōhio ehara ngā whanaungatanga i te "ngahau me te takaro" i ngā wā katoa.

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Rārangi wā mo te wehenga

I te mea he wehenga pai tēnei, tera pea ka hoki anō kōrua ki te taha mā te ngana ki te hanga i a koe kia rite ki ō rāua hiahia, me te ritenga kē. Ko tētahi o ōku hoa, ko Trisha, kāore i te kai huawhenua anake, engari i ngana anō hoki ki te whakarērea ngā kākahu papai kia rite ki tana hoa tāne, he tangata ngāwari me te noho pūmau. I whakarerekē anō hoki tana hoa tāne i ana huarahi, ā, i ngana ki te kimi taurite.

Ahakoa kua ono marama rāua e wehe ana, i hoki anō rāua tetahi ki tetahi, nā te mea kua tino pai rawa atu rāua tetahi ki tetahi. Kāore tetahi i hiahia ki te whakamātau i tētahi hoa hou, nā te mea i hiahia rāua ki te tautoko kare ā-roto i riro i a rāua tetahi i tetahi. I a Trisha e wehe poto ana, ka mea mai ia ki ahau: "Tērā pea he kaha kare ā-roto tō māua ko taku hoa o mua . Ki taku whakaaro kua whakaritea māua kia noho tahi anō."

Me pēhea te hoki tahi anō i muri i te wehenga ā-tūturu

Nā konei, kua tae tātou ki te mutunga o ngā momo wehenga e hoki tahi ana. Engari me pēhea te mahi mēnā ka mutu te whanaungatanga mō te wā poto? Kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te hoki tahi i muri i te wehenga? Ko te mea nui ake, ka taea te hoki tahi i muri i te wehenga me te kore e mau tonu te kawa, te ruarua rānei? Me mahi tonu koe ahakoa kua kite koe i ngā tohu tino kāore ia i aroha ki a koe ? Kāore rānei ia i whakamahi i a koe? Āe, he pono, ā, mā mātou e kōrero atu ki a koe me pēhea. Kei raro nei ētahi tohutohu. Hei tīmatanga, kia pono ki a koe anō, me pātai atu ki a koe anō ēnei pātai nui:

• He aha ngā mea nui i ngā take i puta ai te wehenga?
• He aha ngā otinga me ngā rautaki hei whakatika i aua raruraru?
• Ka taea e māua ko taku hoa o mua te mahi tahi me te manawanui?
• He rārangi tāku mō ngā mea e kore e taea te whakatika hei whakakore i ngā whakaaetanga?
• He rerekē rawa atu rānei ō tātou uara matua?

Kia oti i a koe te whakaoti pai i ngā pātai kua whakahuatia i runga ake nei, ka taea e koe te whai i ēnei mahi:

• Pātai atu ki tō hoa o mua ngā mea kua akohia e rātou mai i te wehenga tuatahi, ā, kōrerohia hoki ō whakaaro. He mīharo ngā mahi a te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera
• Whakatakotoria ngā tumanakohanga mārama me ngā rohe hauora mō ngā mea e whakaaetia ana me ngā mea kāore e whakaaetia
• Kia mau tonu te whakaute tetahi ki tetahi, kaua hoki e takaro i te kēmu whakapae
• Kia mau tonu te whakamōhiotanga ki ō hoa, kaua e huna
• Whakaarohia koe hei tangata tuatoru (Ka tohutohu koe i tō hoa pai kia hoki mai?)
• Whakamātauria te angitu o te houhanga rongo i muri i te wehenga
• Kia tino āta haere ngā mea
• Kaua e whakahua anō i ngā take o mua. Whakaarohia tēnei aroha hei papa kua oti kē te whakarite.
• Ki te tae te wā ki te tuku, kaua e wehi ki te tuku anō, kaua hoki e tatari kia hoki mai rātou (ko te whakaaro nui ki a koe anō te mea nui ake i tetahi mea)

Nā te mea kua whiwhi tātou i te whakautu ki te pātai nui: ka taea te hoki tahi anō i muri i te wehenga?, me kōrero anō hoki tātou mō te tuku i tētahi hoa o mua. Ae, e mōhio ana tātou he uaua te kati i ētahi wā! Mō tēnei, ka tohutohu a Gaurav, "Kei hea te kati ina mate ngā mātua, ā, ka ngaro i a koe tō poroporoaki whakamutunga? Nō reira, mō te kati, kāore koe e hiahia ki tētahi atu tangata. Ko koe anake te mea e hiahiatia ana e koe. Me kati te kati i roto i a koe anō. ? Whakawhirinaki ki te tukanga whakaora."

Nō reira, kaua e ngākau pouri mēnā kāore e taea e kōrua te hoki anō ki tō hoa o mua, ā, kāore anō kia rite ō kōrua whakaaro. Tērā pea ka mutu ko tētahi atu he pai ake i a kōrua. Heoi anō, he pai ake te neke atu i te piri ki tētahi hononga mutunga kore, te tatari rānei mō taua tangata kotahi kāore pea e hoki mai.

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Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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