Te Wehe i te Hononga ki tētahi Tangata Whakahīhī: 7 Ngā Tohutohu me ngā Mea hei Tumanako

He mamae te mutunga o tētahi whanaungatanga, engari ko te wehenga atu i tētahi tangata whakahihi, inā koa he tangata whakahihi tukino i te kare ā-roto, ka nui ake te mamae ki te aro atu nā te mea he whanonga whaiaro me te koretake o te whakaaro. Ehara i te mea pai te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei. Ko tō rātou āhua tinihanga, te kore aroha, me te whakawhirinaki ki a koe anō ka taea te whakararuraru i a koe i te tinana me te hinengaro.

Nā reira he mea nui kia wehe atu i te tangata whakahihi, kia wātea hoki i a koe anō i te tukino whakahihi. Heoi, he tino uaua ake te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei, ā, ka uaua ake te whakatau i te wehenga o te tangata whakahihi.

Hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i tēnei ara hurihuri kare ā-roto, ka taea e te tohunga hinengaro tohutohu e whai whakaaro ana ki te whara te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatere i tēnei ara hurihuri kare ā-roto. Anushtha Mishra (M.Sc. Counseling Psychology), he tohunga ki te whakarato rongoā mō ngā āwangawanga pēnei i te whara, ngā take whanaungatanga, te pouri, te manukanuka, te pouri, me te mokemoke me ētahi atu, e tuhituhi ana mō te huarahi tika ki te wehe i te whanaungatanga me te tangata whakahihi, me ngā tohutohu mō te whakarite i a koe mō ngā whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei.

He aha te tuakiri narcissist?

He tikanga tā tātou ki te hono i te kōrero mōu ake, te tuku rānei i ngā whakaahua whaiaro maha ki ngā pāpāho pāpori ki te whakapehapeha. Heoi, he uaua rawa atu te whakapehapeha. Hei mārama ake, me wehewehe tuatahi tātou i waenga i ngā āhuatanga whakapehapeha me te mate tuakiri whakapehapeha. He āhuatanga tō tātou katoa o ngā momo tuakiri rerekē, tae atu ki te whakapehapeha, e tohu ana i ō tātou tauira whakaaro engari ina pakari, ka hē te urutau, ko te wā ka taea te kī he mate tuakiri.

Ko te whakapehapeha he huinga āhuatanga o te tangata e uru ana ki te whakaaro nui ki a ia anō, te hiahia kia whakanuia, te whakapono he iti iho te tangata i ētahi atu, me te kore aroha ki ētahi atu. Ko te mate whakapehapeha he āhuatanga hauora hinengaro e tohuhia ana e te whakanui nui i a ia anō.

Ko te hunga e pāngia ana e tēnei mate, he tino aro nui ki a rātou anō, ā, he maha ngā wā ka warewarehia, ka kore rānei e aro ki ngā tirohanga, ngā matea, me ngā raruraru a ētahi atu. Ko ētahi o ngā tohu o te hoa rangatira i roto i te whanaungatanga ko:

• He tino ataahua rātou i te tīmatanga – tata rawa atu ki te kore e pono (he rautaki tinihanga)
• Ka tahaetia e rātou ngā kōrero hei whakaatu anō i tō rātou hiranga
• Ka whakahaeretia koe e rātou, inā koa mā te whakakā hau
• E ora ana rātou i runga i ō mihi
• Kāore he aroha ki a koe, ki tētahi atu rānei
• Kāore ā rātou hoa mō te wā roa
• Kāore rātou e whakapāha nā te mea e whakapono ana rātou he tika rātou mō ngā mea katoa
• Ka riri, ka kohukohu rānei rātou i a koe ina tohu koe i tētahi hapa

7 Ngā Tohutohu mō te Wehe i te Hononga ki tētahi Tangata Whakahīhī

Mō Maria (kua hurihia te ingoa), i roto i tētahi hononga mō ngā tau e toru me tētahi hoa rangatira, he tino pai rawa ngā mea i te tīmatanga. I whakaahua ia i te kitenga i tētahi "rangatira ataahua" he "tāne moemoeā" rānei. I whakaaro ia he tino kaha te hononga kare ā-roto ki tana hoa. Heoi, ka taea e koe te matapae i te mea ka puta i muri mai.

I tīmata tana hoa ki te mamae me te riri, ā, ka ngaro tōna whakaaro ki a ia anō. I tīmata ia ki te noho mokemoke, ki te pōhēhē, ki te wehe atu hoki i a ia anō. I tīmata ia ki te whakaaro mēnā ko ā rāua katoa raruraru hononga nāna te he, i mau i roto i te huringa whakapae-ā-koe tonu. I tana whakaputanga ake i tana raruraru, ka hono tika tana hoa ki tētahi mea i pā ki a ia; ka memeha haere tana kōrero i te mea ka riro i a ia te kōrero. I whakaatuhia e ia ngā āhuatanga tawhito o te whakapehapeha pathological.

I mōhio ia, nō reira, me oma atu ia i tēnei mahi tukino whakahihi hei tiaki i tōna hauora hinengaro, ā, i rapu huarahi ia ki te rongoā hei āwhina i a ia. Kei raro nei ētahi tohutohu hei āwhina i a ia, hei tūtohu atu māku ki te hunga e whakaaro ana ki te wehe i te whanaungatanga me tētahi tangata whakahihi:

1. Tuhia ngā take e wehe atu ai koe

Te wehe atu i te tangata whakahihi? Whakamahia ō wheako ki tēnei hononga kino hei tohutoro māu ake. Ko te hunga whai mate hinengaro ka aro atu ki te ao i roto i te āhua tino koretake, ā, ka whakapohehe hoki i tō rātou ao tūturu. Ka taea e tēnei te mea ka pātai koe ki tō ao tūturu. Whakapono ki tō ao tūturu, kaua ki tā rātou i tito ai. Koinei te huarahi ki te wehe i te whanaungatanga me te tangata whakahihi.

Tērā pea kei te rite koe ki te wehe atu, engari i te wā tonu e whai ake nei, ka whakangaro pea tō hoa i tō whakatau mā te whakama me te inoi. Koinei te wā e whai hua ai te tuhi i ngā take i mua i te wā. Ina mahi koe i tēnei, hoatu he tauira ki a koe anō kia kite ai koe i roto i ō rātou kare ā-roto huna, kia whakaū ai koe i a koe anō ki tō ao tūturu i te wā o te wehenga. Me pānui tonu i taua rārangi take ki a koe anō hei rauemi hei whakamahara i a koe me wehe atu koe, ā, me whakarite pea koe mō ngā mea hei kōrero ina wehe atu koe i tētahi tangata whakahihi.

2. Haere atu ina rite ō take

Kaua e mahi i te hē a Maria mā te whakaroa i te wehenga, me te noho tonu i roto i te whanaungatanga mō te roa o tana noho. He maha ngā take i kore ai ia e wehe. Kāore ia i rite ki te wehe atu, ā, kua hanga he hononga mamae ki tana hoa. Nā te whakaaro o te whakawhirinaki tahi i hanga he whakaaro ruarua kāore e taea e ia te ora me te kore tana hoa.

He mea nui i tēnei wā kia haere puku koe, kaua e tautohetohe. Whakamaheretia i mua te huarahi e haere ai koe, rapua he tautoko mai i ō hoa aroha, penapena moni, ā, haere atu i te wā e taea ai. Ko te huna i te meka ka wehe atu koe i a rātou te whakaaro pai rawa atu nā te mea ka nui rawa atu ngā tautohetohe ki a rātou.

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3. Tangohia atu rātou me ngā hononga katoa i tō pāpāho pāpori

Nā, kua whakatau koe, kua whakamahere hoki ki te whakarērea tō hoa whakapehapeha, tangohia atu, āraia atu hoki rātou me ngā whakapā katoa e taea ai e rātou te whakapā atu ki a koe mō te iti rawa i ētahi marama, ki te kore e roa rawa atu. Kaua e tukuna he karere kuputuhi, he waea atu, he whai rānei i a rātou i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori.

Koinei pea te wāhanga tino uaua o te wehenga engari he taahiraa tino nui hei whakarite i tō harikoa me tō haumaru, me te tuku i te haerenga hara pea. Ina wehe atu koe, ka ngana te hoa whakapehapeha ki ngā mea katoa i roto i tōna kaha ki te whakahoki mai i a koe. Tērā pea ka whakamatautauria koe e rātou kia whakapā atu ki a rātou, ka riri rānei, ka horahia ngā kōrero mōu. Tērā pea ka haere mai rātou ki tō kāinga, ka waea atu ki a koe i ngā wā katoa, ka tono rānei kia murua ō hara. Engari he mea nui kia whakatakotohia e koe he rohe pumau, kia kaua e hoatu he wā ki a rātou ki te whakahaere i a koe. Koinei te huarahi hei whakamutu i te whanaungatanga me te tangata whakapehapeha, ā, neke atu i te aroha taha kotahi.

4. Kaua e hanga he whakamārama mō tō hoa whakapehapeha

E mārama ana ahau, ka hē tātou katoa, ā, kāore he tangata tino tika. Engari he kino tēnei whakaaro ina tae mai ki tētahi te whanaungatanga ki te tangata whakahihiMā ngā whakamārama e homai e koe mā rātou ka nui ake te mana ki a rātou kia mawhiti atu i tā rātou whanonga kāore e taea te whakamārama.

Tērā pea kei te rapu huarahi koe hei whakamārama i ā rātou whanonga nā te mamae o tō hononga, tērā pea kei te mataku noa koe kei tūtaki koe ki te tūkino whakahihi, he mea tino noa iho tēnei. Kia kaha ki te karo i tēnei āhuatanga. Kaua e whakapae i a koe anō mō ​​ngā mea i kīia e tō hoa, he tangata kino, i hē ai tāu mahi. Arotakehia koe anō engari kia mahara hoki he whanaungatanga tukino tēnei, ā, he hoa whakahihi anō hoki.

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5. Whakamaumahara tonu ki a koe anō he aha koe i wehe atu ai

Ka hiahia tonu te tangata whakahihi ki te whakaaro motuhake, ki te waihanga rānei i te whakaaro he motuhake koe hei kukume i a koe ki a rātou. Mā tēnei āhua ka uaua ki a koe te maumahara ki ngā take i wehe atu ai koe, ā, ka huna pea i te mamae o ngā wā pōuri.

Kia taea ai e koe te wehe atu, tangohia ngā whakamaharatanga o te whanaungatanga i tō ao, ā, whakarārangihia pea ngā take i whakarērea ai e koe. Akene me hoki anō koe ki te pānui i taua rārangi i ia wā ka whakaaro koe ka taea e koe te hoki anō ki aua rārangi nā te mea kāore e taea e koe te mahara ki te mamae i taua wā. Kia tūpato kei pohehe koe ki te whakaaro kāore ngā mea "i te kino rawa" pērā i tōu kare ā-roto. Tīmatahia tō te tukanga whakaora i te wehenga.

6. Kaua e taka ki te pōma aroha

Ko te whakamomori aroha te wāhanga tuatahi o ngā whanaungatanga whakahihi, ā, he āhua ātaahua, he aroha hoki ngā mea katoa. Ko te nuinga o ngā whakahihi ka ngana ki te kukume i a koe ki te whakamihi noa iho, kia kore ai koe e kite i ngā tohu kino o ō rātou tuakiri. Ko tēnei wāhanga o te poma aroha hoki mai ina whakawehi koe ki te haere.

He āhua tūturu te whakaromanti i ngā maharatanga pai o te whanaungatanga, engari ka kino pea mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te neke atu. Kia arotahi ki te āhua o tō takahi i runga i ngā anga hua manu i te taha o tō hoa. Mā ēnei mahi ka whakamahara koe ki te kino o taua mea, ā, ka ārai i a koe kei tukinotia e tō hoa o mua e whakapehapeha ana.

7. Tikina he tautoko mai i tētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro

Ka taea e te tohunga hauora hinengaro te āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i ngā take, ahakoa he kino, i roto i te huarahi tautoko. Ka taea e rātou te āwhina i a koe ki te whakakorekore me te āwhina i a koe ki te whakatau i ngā wheako o te whakahē, te kore aro, te whakamahi kino, me te tukinotia.

Mā te kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro pono, whai tohu, whai raihana hoki koe e āwhina ki te hanga anō i tō ao tūturu, me te tūhura hoki i ngā mea e whakaraerae ai koe ki te taka ki tētahi tangata whakahihi kia tūpato ai koe ki te karo i tēnā ā muri ake nei. I Bonobology, ka tukuna e mātou he āwhina ngaio mā roto i ā mātou rōpū kaitohutohu raihana ko wai ka taea te āwhina i a koe ki te tīmata i te ara ki te whakaoranga.

He aha hei tumanako atu i muri i te wehenga atu i te tangata whakahihi

He tikanga tiaki tō te hunga whakahihi hei ārai i a rātou i te mamae nui o te ngākau, i te hara rānei. Nō reira, he mea nui kia mōhio koe kāore koe i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga me tētahi tangata kua tino whanake, ā, he tangata pono tōna.

Ko te mea ka tupu i muri i te wehenga atu i tētahi tangata whakahihi, ka whakawhirinaki ki te momo tangata whakahihi i piri tahi koe me te āhua o rāua i te wā o te wehenga. Tērā pea ka tino hoha te noho tahi me tētahi e whakahē tonu ana, e whakaiti ana, e whakamā ana i a ia anō, e kore nei e piripono ki a koe. Nō reira, he mea nui kia tumanakohia ngā mea tika i muri i te wehenga atu kia taea ai e koe te noho rite mōna ina wehe atu koe.

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1. Ka ngāwari tā rātou neke atu – ā, ka whakarite kia mōhio koe ki tēnā

Ko te nuinga o te hunga whakahihi, kāore e hiahia ana ki te wā hei whakaora i te wehenga me te neke atu ki ngā whanaungatanga ā muri ake nei. Ka puta tēnei nā te mea he tinihanga pea ō rātou kare ā-roto tuatahi mō te whanaungatanga, ā, he hononga rūpahuEhara i te mea onge mō te tangata whakapehapeha te whai i tētahi e tatari mai ana hei puna tautoko hou, kua oti rānei te whakatakoto i tā rātou ake mahere wehe atu.

He aha ngā mea hei tumanako māu i muri i te wehenga atu i tētahi tangata whakahihi? Me tumanako ka werohia koe e rātou i runga i ngā pāpāho pāpori mā te tuku pikitia whaiaro e arohaina ana. Heoi anō, ko tā rātou mahi he whakapoauau noa i tētahi whāinga hou o tā rātou whakahihi. Koinei pea tētahi o ngā tohu kua mutu te mahi a te tangata whakahihi ki a koe. Koinei te mea me tumanako koe i a koe e wehe atu ana i tētahi tangata whakahihi.

2. He uaua ki te whai i tētahi hoa o mua e whakapehapeha ana

Ko tētahi wāhanga nui o te whakapehapeha ko te pūtake o te nui o te koretake o te whakaaro. Ka taea e rātou te hoki whakamuri ki te whakaeke i a koe mēnā kāore e kitea he huarahi hei whakaora i tō rātou ingoa i muri i te wehenga atu o tētahi i a rātou. Ka aro atu rātou ki ngā kare ā-roto whakaari, ka riri rātou, ā, ka mutu pea ka tukuna atu ō rātou riri katoa ki a koe. He uaua pea tēnei, inā koa he tangata aroha koe. Anō, ko tētahi huarahi hei karo i tēnei ko te kore e whakauru atu ki a rātou me te pupuri i ngā rohe pakari.

3. Kia tumanako ki te pouri, ā, kia awhi i a ia

He wheako nui te pouri ka pā ki a koe ina wehe koe i te whanaungatanga me te tangata whakahihi. He mea nui kia awhi i a ia ina tae mai. He maha ngā mea hei pouri māu, te mutunga o te whanaungatanga me te whakaaro ki te tangata i whakaaro koe ko tō hoa. I pōmaia koe e rātou, ā, e tino noho tonu ēnei kare ā-roto nā te mea he kaha, he kaha hoki. Heoi anō, kia harikoa koe i mutu ngā mea i te wā i mutu ai koe. Hoki atu ki taua rārangi take, ka whakamahara ki a koe anō he wā poto noa iho tēnei mamae. Te neke atu i tētahi whanaungatanga kino ehara i te mea ngawari.

4. Ka werohia koe e te tangata whakahihi huna i ētahi wā

He uaua pea te wehe i te whanaungatanga ki tētahi tangata whakahihi huna, nā te mea e noho ana rātou i roto i te atarangi, engari e tuku ana i tā rātou hoa kia whakaaro he mea nui rātou. Tērā pea ka riri rātou i tō waiho i a rātou me te whakaaro kāore rātou i te whai mana, ā, ka mahi pea rātou i te kore āwhina, ka kī anō kua hoatu e rātou ngā mea katoa ki a koe. Ka kīia koe he tangata kino i whakarērea rātou e te hiahia whaiaro. Tērā pea ka whakawehi rātou ki te whara i a rātou anō, ki te whakamomori rānei, ki te mahi rānei i ētahi atu mea hei whakaiti i a rātou anō ina whakaaro kua whakarērea rātou.

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5. Ka taea e rātou te huri hei kupu kino ki a koe

American Association Psychology E kī ana ko ngā kare ā-roto o te hiranga me te mana rangatira ka ārahi i te hunga whakahihi ki te whakaeke kaha i ētahi atu. Ko te hunga whakahihi nui ka tino kaha ki te mahi kaha ina whakapataritarihia, ina whakatoihia, ina whakaititia, ina whakama, ina whakahēngia, ina whakawehihia rānei e ētahi atu, ā, ka kiia he whakapataritari nui te wehenga. Mena ka huri tō hoa o mua whakahihi ki te tutu, whakapā atu ki tō raina āwhina ā-rohe, waea atu rānei ki te 911. Ahakoa ka kite koe i ngā tohu katoa kua mutu te whakahihi ki a koe, ka taea tonu e rātou te whai i a koe. Noho ki tētahi wāhi haumaru.

He Tohutohu hei Whakatutuki i te Wehenga

He uaua te wehenga o tētahi hoa, engari ka rua te uaua o te wehenga atu i tētahi tangata whakahihi. Nā te mea kua pakaru katoa tō whakaaro mō te whanaungatanga me tō hoa o mua. Heoi, ina mārama koe ki te wehenga atu i tētahi tāne, wahine rānei whakahihi, ka taea te whakaora. Anei ngā tohutohu pai rawa atu ka taea e au te hoatu ki a koe mō te huarahi hei whakatau i te wehenga atu i tētahi tangata whakahihi hei āwhina i tō tukanga whakaora:

• Kaua e pupuri i ō roimata, ā, tukua koe kia whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto
• Whakapono ki a koe anō, ā, mahia ngā mea hei whakapai ake i tō wairua. Ko koe anake te tangata nui i konei.
• Kia maumahara tonu koe ki a koe anō he tika ake te pai ake
• Kaua e aro nui ki a rātou - i pai te wehenga
• Ahakoa he mea whakawai, kaua e whakatuwhera i tētahi hongere kōrero ki a rātou
• Whakanuia te tiaki whaiaro me te tiaki i ō hiahia kare ā-roto
• Whakawhirinaki ki tō pūnaha tautoko, ā, whakapā atu ki tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro whai raihana mēnā ka tino taumaha rawa atu.

Ko tāku tumanako ka mārama ake ko wai te tangata whakapehapeha, ā, ki te kitea koe e whakaipoipo ana i tētahi, ka āwhina tēnei tohutohu i a koe ki te whakaaro me pēhea te wehe i te whanaungatanga me te tangata whakapehapeha, me te whakatau i taua raruraru.

Hei whakarāpopototanga, ka whakahuahia e au a Bree Bonchay, he kaituhi nāna i kī tika, "He whakarāpopototanga te whanaungatanga ki tētahi tangata whakahihi: Ka huri koe mai i te aroha tino tika o tōna ao ki te kore rawa o āu mahi e ranea. Ka hoatu e koe ngā mea katoa, ā, ka tangohia e rātou te katoa, ā, ka iti haere te hoatu ki a koe hei utu. Ka mutu ka ngoikore koe, ka ngenge i te kare ā-roto, i te hinengaro, i te wairua, ā, tera pea i te taha pūtea, kātahi ka whakapaetia koe mō tēnā."

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