Njira 8 Zokhalira Bwino Pamene Mukusudzulana ndi Mwamuna Wa Narcissistic

Kusudzulana n’kovuta poyamba ndipo kusudzulana ndi munthu wamwano n’kovuta kwambiri. Kulimbana ndi umunthu wotero ndi nkhondo yokha. Palibe chisudzulo ndi bedi la maluwa. Ndizovuta m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo, makamaka ngati pali ana okhudzidwa. Koma mukasudzulana ndi mwamuna wamwano, mavutowa amachulukirachulukira. Zimamveka ngati kuti mwachitiridwa minga yomwe simungathe kuyendamo popanda kuvulazidwa, mobwerezabwereza.

Narcissist ali ngati tizilombo. Amadyetsa okondedwa awo kuti akwaniritse zofuna zawo. Mukawauza kuti mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzicho, adzayesa chinyengo chilichonse m'bukuli kuti alepheretse khama lanu. Kukambilana chisudzulo kuthetsa ndi narcissist adzakhala palibe kuyenda mu paki, mwina mukudziwa kale kuti. Komabe, kufika pamene mungakhale pansi kaamba ka kukambitsirana chisudzulo kudzakhala ulendo wautali ndi wotopetsa mwa iko kokha.

Kusakhazikika kwa munthu wodzikonda komanso mantha ake kumawoneka ngati kukuwonetsa mbali zake zoyipa kwambiri ndipo zomwe zingakhale zoopsa kuzithetsa. Ndicho chifukwa chake muyenera njira zamphamvu zosudzula munthu wodzikonda. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti mutha kupitiliza ndi njira yanu ndikuwona chisankho chanu chothetsa chibwenzi cholimba chikufikira kumapeto koyenera, tidalankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Nishmin Marshall , yemwe kale anali director ku SAATH: Suicide Prevention Centre komanso mlangizi ku BM Institute of Mental Health komanso loya Siddhartha Mishra (BA, LLB), loya yemwe amagwira ntchito ku Supreme Court of India, za njira zokhalira ndi thanzi labwino posudzula munthu wodzikonda.

Makhalidwe Amwamuna Wa Narcissistic

Kusudzula mwamuna wamwano kumatanthauza kuyamba ulendo wautali, wokhometsa msonkho umene ungakulepheretseni. Kuti muyambe ntchitoyi, choyamba muyenera kumveka bwino kuti narcissist ndi ndani. Izi zimakhala zofunikira kwambiri mukasudzulana ndi mwamuna wonyenga. Munthu aliyense ali ndi chikhalidwe cha narcissist kapena china mwa iwo chomwe chimayambitsidwa ndi malingaliro kapena zochitika zina. Pali kusiyana pakati pa munthu wabwinobwino yemwe amakhala ndi zizolowezi zamatsenga kamodzi pakanthawi ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi narcissist ku mafupa ake.

Kudzikuza kwawo kobisala kungakutopetseni maganizo. Ngati mwamuna wanu ali ndi makhalidwe amenewa, thawani kuti mupulumutse moyo wanu, chifukwa adzakusokonezani malinga ndi zomwe akufuna:

• Dziko lapansi likuzungulira zofuna zake: Kapena amakonda kukhulupirira choncho. Amakhala m’dziko laokha. Amadziona kuti ali ndi ulamuliro wakutali wa moyo wa aliyense womuzungulira. Ngati ali wokondwa, angaganizirenso kukupangitsani kukhala osangalala, koma ngati ali wachisoni kapena wokwiya, adzakuchotserani.
• Kusewera wozunzidwa: Nthawi zonse adzasewera wozunzidwayo ndikukukakamizani paulendo wolakwa. Sadzapepesa chifukwa cha zochita zake koma adzakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wolakwa. Sadzasamala kaya mwavulazidwa kapena simukusangalala. Malingana ngati ego yake yakhutitsidwa, iye sadzasamala za zotsatira za zochita zake pa inu
• Kudzimva kuti ndi woyenera: Iye adzakuchitirani inu ndi anthu ena monga chuma chake. Mukudziwa kuti muli ndi ntchito yolemetsa yosudzula mwamuna wobisala ngati wakhala akunyalanyaza zofuna zanu, zokhumba zanu ndi zomwe mukuyembekezera nthawi zonse. Simungathe kupuma pokhapokha atakulolani kutero. Koma iye akhoza kuchita chilichonse chimene akufuna
• Zizolowezi zansanje: Popeza akukhala m’dziko la iye yekha ndipo amadziona kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri, amachita nsanje akaona munthu wina akubera mbiri yake. Inde, zimenezi zikuphatikizapo mwamuna kapena mkazi wake. Sangapirire kuchitira umboni zomwe mwakwaniritsa mopitilira zake, kaya kuchita bwino kwambiri kapena kungokhomerera maphikidwe a mkate wa dzungu wa amayi ake. Ichi ndichifukwa chake mukuyenera kusewera nthano yachiwiri muubwenzi

Kusudzulana ndi mwamuna wodzikonda nthawi zonse kumakhala koipa. Akadzala ndi kudzikuza, ndiye kuti zidzakhala zonyansa kwambiri. Chinthu chabwino kwambiri ndi kuzindikira zizindikiro za munthu wodzikonda mukakhala pachibwenzi ndikumusiya nthawi ndi nthawi. Koma munthu wodzikonda akamakunyengererani, sangaulule umunthu wake weniweni.

Ndicho chifukwa chake mungapeze kuti mukukokedwa mozama kwambiri. Pamene muyamba kuona umunthu wake wovuta, mungakhale mutayamba kale kukhala naye. Pamenepa, njira yokhayo yomwe mungapezere ndi kuthetsa mwamuna wanu wa narcissist kuti muthe kulamuliranso moyo wanu ndikuyamba kuchiritsa.

Njira 8 Zokhalira Osasunthika Mukasudzulana ndi Mwamuna Wa Narcissist

Mukapanga chisankho cholimba mtima chosudzulana ndi mwamuna wankhanza, chidzakhala chovuta kwambiri chophatikiza zokwera ndi zotsika zambiri, m'malingaliro ndi m'malingaliro. Mudzakayikira chisankho chanu ndikumva ngati ndinu munthu woyipa pano. Osagwera mumsampha uwu. Ndi mnzako amene wakupangitsani kuti mutengepo kanthu. Munachita zonse zomwe mungathe pochita naye koma wina akuyenera kujambula mzere penapake.

Kuti muthetse chibwenzi ndi munthu wodzikonda komanso wodzikuza, mungafunike kuthana ndi mavuto ambiri azamalamulo komanso chiopsezo cha nkhanza zapakhomo zomwe mnzanuyo angakumane nazo. Ndikofunikira kukhala ndi maganizo olimba kuti muzitha kudzisamalira nokha komanso ana anu (ngati muli nawo).

Ponena za zinthu zomwe muyenera kukumbukira kuti muthetse chibwenzi ndi munthu wodzikonda komanso wopambana, Siddhartha akulangiza kuti, "Okwatirana ndi anthu odzikonda nthawi zambiri amafuna thandizo la munthu payekha kuti athetse kusungulumwa, nkhawa, komanso kuvutika maganizo komwe kumachitika chifukwa cha nkhanza zomwe zimachitika kwa zaka zambiri. Anthu odzikonda samadzimva kuti ali ndi mlandu kapena chisoni chifukwa cha khalidwe lawo, mwina angaimbe mlandu mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo chifukwa cha mavuto a m'banja ndipo amakana uphungu."

“Ngati mwaganiza zosudzulana ndi munthu woledzeretsa, konzekerani zoipitsitsa.” Izi zikhoza kukhala vuto lalikulu ku kudzidalira kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.Ndicho chifukwa chake njira zosudzulana ndi munthu woledzeretsa ziphatikizepo kuchepetsa kapena kusiya kuyanjana kwa munthu ndi munthu kwa kanthaŵi. phwando.”

Pogwiritsa ntchito njira izi zosudzula narcissist ngati maziko, nazi njira 8 zokhalira oganiza bwino mukusudzulana ndi narcissist zomwe zingakuthandizeni kudutsa gawo lovutali popanda kudzivulaza nokha:

1. Yembekezerani zowombera moto kuchokera kumbali ya amuna anu

Imodzi mwa njira zofunika kwambiri zothetsera chisudzulo ndi narcissist ndikukonzekera zomwe zikubwera. Mwamuna wanu adzakwiya kwambiri ndipo zinthu zikhala zovuta komanso zoyipa kuposa momwe zilili kale. Akazindikira kuti zinthu sizikuyenda momwe iye akufunira, adzapanga kukhala cholinga cha moyo wake kukuvutitsani inunso.

Mumadziwa zomwe mwamuna wanu wa narcissist angakwanitse, choncho khalani okonzeka pazomwe akusungirani kuti mupite motsutsana naye. "Mukangolengeza za chisankho chanu chosudzulana ndi mwamuna wanu wa narcissist, onetsetsani kuti musalole kuti mantha anu amkati awonekere. Mwachiwonekere, mwakhala wogonjera muubwenzi, ndiye kuti adzayesa kukankhira kumbuyo ndikuwopsyeza. Ngati mukukumana ndi kutsutsa, mutagwirabe ntchito, zidzasokoneza mwamuna wanu wankhanza.

Choncho, musalole mkwiyo wake kukuvutitsani. M'malo mwake, imani molimba mtima ndipo mumuuze kuti mwasankha kale ndipo palibe chosintha pa chisankhochi kwa inu tsopano,” akutero Nishmin.

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2. Khalani patsogolo pa amuna anu

Mwamuna wanu sangalekerere maso ake mosavuta. Ulamuliro ndi chinthu chomwe amakonda kukakamiza ndipo akayamba kumverera kuti akuluza, amamenya ndewu. Muyenera kukhala okhazikika komanso kuganiza mopitilira mwamuna wanu. Ndikofunika kukhala pragmatic mukamasintha njira zosudzula munthu wamatsenga ndipo osagwira ntchito pamalo opwetekedwa mtima.

Onetsetsani kuti mutha kusonkhanitsa maumboni amtundu uliwonse omwe angapangire mnzanu wakuda chifukwa adzakhala akugwira ntchito molimbika kuti muwoneke ngati munthu woyipa pano. Kumbukirani, amakonda kusewera wozunzidwayo.

3. Lankhulani ndi anthu amene amvetse zimene mukutanthauza

Munthu amene sanawonepo mbali yoipa ya mwamuna wako wa narcissist sadzakukhulupirirani kapena kumva mbali yanu ya nkhaniyo. Zovutazo zitha kukukanikirani, makamaka, mukasudzulana ndi mwamuna wachinsinsi. Muyenera kusonkhanitsa thandizo kuchokera kwa anthu ambiri momwe mungathere kuti athe kukuthandizani kuti mubwererenso.

Lankhulani ndi munthu amene wagwa muzochita za mwamuna wanu. Angakhale wantchito wakale, bwenzi lake kapena wachibale. Funsani thandizo lawo. Onetsetsani kuti anthu awa ali pambali panu zonse zikagwa. Nishmin anati: “Lankhulani ndi mabwenzi anu, abale anu, kapena fotokozerani kholo lanu zakukhosi zanu zimene mwakumana nazo.” Okondedwa anu angakhale magwero a nyonga yanu m’nthaŵi yovutayi.

4. Musaganizirenso zomwe mwasankha

Kupanga chisankho chosudzulana ndi narcissist ndi sitepe yayikulu yakutsogolo kuti mutengenso moyo wanu. Ndi chizindikiro chakuti ngakhale mutasweka kapena kusweka mtima bwanji, mumakhalabe wolimba mtima komanso wodziona kuti ndinu wofunika. Musaganize zobwerera m'mbuyo. “Mwamuna wanu akazindikira kuti zimene akukankhanizo sizikuyenda bwino, angasinthe njira yake, n’kukupemphani kuti mumupatsenso mwayi wina n’kulonjeza kuti musintha.

“Angadzionetse kukhala munthu wosinthika kuti asinthe maganizo anu ndi kuyesa kukopa ku mbali yanu yofewa kuti akupangitseni kuganiziranso chosankha chanu.” Pamene atero, lingalirani za nthaŵi zonsezo zimene mwamuna wanu anakuchitirani zoipa ndi kuwononga kudziona kwanu kukhala wofunika.

Zimene zinachitika muukwati wanu sizingasinthidwe koma mutha kusintha moyo wanu wonse kukhala wabwino. Musakayikire chisankho chanu chifukwa cha ana. Fotokozani za kusudzulana kwa ana anu m'njira zoyenera msinkhu wawo ndipo khalani otsimikiza kuti adzamvetsa akadzakula mokwanira. Choyamba, ganiziraninso za inu nokha.

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5. Sungani makope angapo a maumboni onse omwe mwatolera

Mwamuna wanu wankhanza akazindikira kuti chisudzulo sichingalephereke, adzayesetsa momwe angathere kuti awononge umboni womwe muli nawo kuti musapeze zomwe mukufuna. Onetsetsani kuti sizichitika. Uwu ukhoza kukhala mwayi wanu wokhawo kuti muthawe mumsamphawu. Khalani obisika kwambiri pa umboni wanu ndipo gawanani ndi loya wanu ndipo onetsetsani kuti loya wanu akudziwa kuzama kwa mlandu wanu.

Pangani makope angapo ndipo nthawi zonse sungani umboni kuchokera kwa aliyense womwe mungagwiritse ntchito ngati luso lanu. Mutha kutembenukira kwa bwenzi lodalirika kapena mnzanu kuti akuthandizeni pa izi. Kusudzulana ndi narcissist ndi kupambana, muyenera kuganiza kunja kwa bokosi kwa kutalika angapite kuwononga ngakhale mlandu weniweni m'khoti akhoza kukhala kupitirira maganizo anu wildest.

Ndicho chifukwa chake muyenera kudalira gulu logwirizana la anthu odalirika kaamba ka chichirikizo kufikira chisudzulo chitatha. Kuti mukambirane zachisudzulo ndi katswiri wamankhwala mogwira mtima ndikuwonetsetsa kuti simunapatsidwe mbali yayifupi ya ndodo, muyenera kuphimba maziko anu onse. Siddhartha amapereka njira zina zothandizira kusudzulana ndi narcissist kuti akuthandizeni kutsogolo.

“Lembani chilichonse chimene mwakumana nacho ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.Ngati n’kotheka, lankhulani ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu molemberana kalata.Ngati sichoncho, sungani zojambulidwa za kulankhulana kulikonse kwa telefoni ndi kukumana, kuphatikizapo deti, nthaŵi, mutu, ndi amene analipo pa zokambiranazo.Wogwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo sakonda kuluza, kotero muyenera kudziŵa bwino lomwe mikhalidwe yake iwiri. 

“Ndidziŵa kuchokera m’chokumana nacho changa cha kusamalira milandu yoteroyo kuti chiyembekezo cha chisudzulo chopanda chilungamo, chotenga nthaŵi yaitali n’chochepa.” Komabe, simuyenera kuchita zimenezo nokha. Kukhala ndi gulu lolimba lazamalamulo pambali panu kungapangitse kusiyana kwakukulu ponse paŵiri m’bwalo lamilandu ndi kunja kwake,” iye akutero.

6. Khalani oleza mtima mukasudzulana ndi mwamuna wa narcissist

Aliyense amakhudzidwa ndi chinachake kapena chimzake. Mwamuna wanu amadziwa zinthu zosiyanasiyana zomwe zimakuyambitsani. Adzayesa kulimbana ndi mfundo zimenezo kuti akukopeni maganizo kotero kuti inu mulakwitse kuti agwiritse ntchito mopindulitsa. Angakhale akuchita izi pofuna kutsimikizira kuti ndinu amisala ndipo simukuyenera kusamalira ana kapena angakhale akukuchitirani zoipa. Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, onetsetsani kuti simukukwiyitsidwa ndi chilichonse chimene amachita.

“Akayesa kukusonkhezerani, m’pofunika kwambiri kuti muyambe kuchita zinthu mopupuluma kapena mwachibadwa.” Ngakhale zitayamba bwanji, musaiwale kuti akhoza kuchita zimenezi n’cholinga choti angofuna kuti inuyo mumve zimene angachite kuti zimupindulitse ndipo mwina akujambula nkhaniyo.

"Maluso oyenerera olimbana nawo monga kuwerengera, kuyimba, kupuma mozama kungakuthandizeni kuti mupambane masewerawa." Dzikumbutseni kuti musanene zambiri, makamaka ngati pali nkhani zalamulo," akutero Nishmin. Mukhozanso kuyesa kusinkhasinkha kuti mukhale olimba m'maganizo kuti mumenyane naye popanda kuchita zomwe akunena kapena kuchita.

7. Pangani dongosolo ndipo musanyengerere

Mwamuna wanu wodzikonda akayamba kumva kuti akulephera, adzayesa kuchita ngati wasintha. Angagwiritsenso ntchito mawu onyoza kuti akusocheretseni ndikukupangitsani kukhalabe. Onetsetsani kuti simukugwera mumsampha umenewo.

Angayese kulimbana ndi zofooka zanu kapena malingaliro anu, samalani ndi zimenezo. Adzayesa kupanga malonjezo ndikukufunsani kuti mugonjetse. Zitha kukhala njira yopezera mwana alimony. Onetsetsani kuti mwaika phazi lanu pansi ndikuti "Ayi".

Kuti mukhale oganiza bwino pamene akusudzulana ndi munthu wamankhwala oledzeretsa, Siddhartha akulangiza kuti, “Si vuto lanu kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi wolumala, limenelo ndilo vuto lawo, ndipo ngati akana kufunafuna chithandizo pa nkhani yawo, muyenera kudziwa nthawi yoti musudzule n’kusudzulana.

"Kuti mudutse pankhondo yalamulo yolekanitsa komanso kupita patsogolo mutatha kusudzulana ndi munthu wamatsenga, pitirizani kudzikumbutsa kuti anthu onyoza ndi oopsa kwa anthu ndi zochitika. Amangokhala abwino kwa anthu omwe amatsatira zomwe akufuna. Woweruza amakhala ngati woweruza, jury, ndi wopha ngati mungayese kuwatsutsa.

"A Narcissists ndi osangalatsa komanso owongolera zinthu ndipo amawona kufunika kopambana panjira iliyonse, ndipo kusaiwala izi kukupulumutsani kuti musagwere mumasewera awo amalingaliro. M'malo mwake mutha kuwongolera mphamvu zanu pakukhazikitsa dongosolo lolimba losudzula munthu wamatsenga ndikupambana."

8. Funsani thandizo kwa dokotala

Kukwatiwa ndi mwamuna wamwano kungakulepheretseni kusweka mkati mwanu ndipo mungaganize kuti simungathe kukonzanso. Zikatero, kukaonana ndi dokotala kungakuthandizeni kuchiritsa mabala anu ndikukupangitsani kudzikonda ndikuyamikiridwanso. Wothandizira adzakuthandizani kudutsa gawolo mosavuta ndipo simudzamva kuti muli nokha. Mukalandira chithandizo, mungayambenso kuona kuti si vuto lanu chifukwa chakuti banja linalephera.

"Sizingakhale zosavuta nthawi zonse kupeza thandizo mukakhumudwa kwambiri ndipo kudziona ngati ndinu wofunika kwambiri kwatha. Koma ngati mungapeze kulimba mtima kopempha thandizo, kungakuthandizeni kupitiriza ndi moyo wanu mutasudzulana ndi munthu wodzikonda. Mlangizi woyenera angakuthandizeni kumva kuti mukumvedwa komanso mukumvetsetsana. Kupeza thandizo loyenera kungakhale sitepe yoyamba yopita kuchireni ndikumva bwino," akutero Nishmin.

Sikuti aliyense amatha kudziwa munthu woti alowe m'banja asanayambe kapena atangoyamba kumene. Katswiri wamatsenga amawulula mitundu yake yeniyeni akatsimikizira kuti akhoza kukulamulirani. Kukhala paubwenzi wa narcissistic kuli ngati kukhala mbira kapena khoswe wa labu. Ngati mukuganiza kuti mungathe kupitiriza kukhala muukwati wotero, ganizirani ngati mukuyenera. Ngati mukukakamira ku lingaliro la chikondi kukhala mu ubale wanu, ndiye kuti muyenera kuunikanso chomwe chikondi kwenikweni. Anthu otere amangodzikonda okha. Ganizirani kaŵirikaŵiri musanaganizire kupitiriza kukhala m’banja limene mulibe kanthu kwa inu.

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