Kugonana Kosamalira - Ndi Chiyani, Chifukwa Chiyani Ndikofunikira, Ndipo Mungakhale Bwanji?

Ngati simunamvepo mawu oti "kugonana kosamalira" kale, ndiye kuti mwafika pamalo oyenera lero. Ngakhale kuti mawuwa sakumveka osangalatsa komanso osasangalatsa, komanso osasangalatsa kunena zoona, uwu ukhoza kukhala mutu wofunikira pakupulumutsa ubale wanu. Koma kugonana kwamtundu uwu ndi chiyani ndipo kungathandize bwanji ubale wanu? Tiyeni tifufuze.

Malinga ndi Jared Diamond, wolemba buku lakuti Why is Sex Fun?, kugonana kwathu, ngakhale kuti timakuona ngati kwachibadwa, kungawoneke ngati kwachilendo poyerekeza ndi miyoyo ya kugonana ya mitundu ina yambiri. Pali njira zambiri zomwe anthu amachitira zogonana mosiyana ndi mitundu ina. Ife anthu timachita zogonana mwachinsinsi, tsiku lililonse la mwezi kapena chaka, kuphatikizapo pamene mkazi ali ndi pakati, kupitirira zaka zake zobereka, kapena pakati pa nthawi yake yobereka.

Ife monga anthu, timagwiritsa ntchito kugonana kuti tikhale ndi chiyanjano ndi mgwirizano, ndipo chofunika kwambiri, timagonana kuti tisangalale ndi zosangalatsa. Zinyama zambiri kunja uko, sizimachita zimenezo. Ndife ochita kupanga, osasinthika, ogonana mosalekeza komanso mopanda manyazi, ndipo miyoyo yathu yachilendo yogonana inali yofunika kwambiri pakukula kwa chikhalidwe chathu monga anthu, monganso ubongo wathu waukulu.

Ukwati Ndi Kugonana

Ngakhale kugonana ndi chinthu chachinsinsi kwambiri, miyambo yake imakhazikika m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Palibe mulingo woyenera wa zochita zogonana; zimasiyana kuchokera kwa anthu osiyanasiyana, chikhalidwe ndi makhalidwe mpaka thanzi labwino, ndi zina zotero, komabe nthawi zonse timakumana ndi masewera a manambala - kuchuluka kwa okwatirana angati, kangati patsiku/sabata/mwezi, kuchuluka kwabwinobwino mkati mwa zaka zingapo zoyambirira, kuchuluka kwabwinobwino pambuyo pake ndipo timauzidwa zomwe zili bwino. Timakhulupiriranso kuti chilakolako cha amuna ndi choposa cha akazi.

Ndi mfundo yodziwika bwino komanso yolembedwa kuti chilakolako chimachepa pamene ukwati ukukhwima ndipo munthu angadzipeze yekha, tsiku lina labwino, muukwati wopanda kugonana . Komabe tagulitsidwa lingaliro la 'chilakolako chosatha'. Benedetto Croce (wafilosofi waku Italy) anati ukwati ndi 'manda a chikondi chankhanza', komabe timaimba mlandu okondedwa athu chifukwa cha kuchepa kwachilengedwe kumeneku, kapena choipa kwambiri, ife eni. Tikukhala mu ukonde wa zotsutsana, chisokonezo ndi kusakhutira. Kafukufuku wokhudza kugonana womwe tidachita kudzera mu SurveyMonkey wabweretsa zambiri zosangalatsa.

Kodi mumadziwa kuti 53% ya maanja amaganiza kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo sakusangalala ndi moyo wawo wogonana, kapena choyipitsitsa, sakudziwa momwe akumvera? Koma titafunsa ngati adayenderapo mlangizi akakhala ndi zovuta pamoyo wawo wogonana, 93% adayankha molakwika?

Kodi mumadziwa kuti 43% amaganiza kuti banja lingakhale losangalala popanda kugonana komanso chikondi (mnzawo)? Komabe titawafunsa kuti kunali kofunika bwanji kwa mnzawo kukhala wokhulupirika, 86% yayikulu idati, "chofunikira".

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Kodi Kusamalira Kugonana Ndi Chiyani?

Titaphatikiza zomwe zili pamwambapa, tidamvetsetsa momwe kugonana kosamalira kumayambira ndipo tikufuna kukudziwitsani zomwezo kwa inu ndi ubale wanu. Pali nthano zokwanira zokhuza kugonana kunja uko, kusowa kwa kugonana, ndi mphekesera zoyandama zomwe zingapangitse kugonana kukhala koipa. Ngakhale m’banja losangalala, munthu akhoza kutopa mosavuta ndi kugonana ndi ubwenzi m’kupita kwa nthawi.

Makamaka pamene zaka zovuta kwambiri m'banja zikuyamba, luso la munthu pa nkhani yogonana likhoza kukhala kumbuyo - osati chifukwa cha thupi, komanso chifukwa cha maganizo. Popeza ana nthawi zonse amakhalapo, mavuto akuwonjezeka kuntchito, zaka 7 zomwe mumakhala nazo m'banja zikuyandikira, kugonana kwabwino kungawoneke ngati maloto akutali kwambiri.

Koma ndipamene mumazifuna kwambiri. Ndipo ndipamene lingaliro la kugonana kosamalira limabwera.

Chifukwa chiyani kugonana ndikofunikira muubwenzi?

Tanthauzo la kugonana kosamalira limapita motere - kugonana kwabwino kumakhala pachimake pa ubale uliwonse pamodzi ndi kudzipereka, kukhulupirika, ndi kulankhulana. Ndipo nthawi zina, ngakhale mutakhala kuti simukukonda nthawi zonse, muyenera kuganizira kuchita. Kuyesetsa kuti mukhalenso ndi ubale komanso kusangalala ndi matupi a wina ndi mnzake ndikofunikira kuti mukwaniritse ubalewo.

N’zosakayikitsa kuti kugonana muubwenzi wa mkazi mmodzi sikungolimbikitsa kudzipereka ndi ubwenzi wapamtima, komanso kumawonjezera kugwirizana kwamaganizo ndi munthu winayo. Ndipo posachedwapa, ngati ndi zomwe zasoweka muubwenzi wanu, bwanji kugonana sikungakhale yankho?

Kugonana sikuti nthawi zonse kumadalira momwe mulili kapena kukhala ndi chilakolako chogonana chomwe chimakubweretserani mwachibadwa. Ayi. Nthawi zina, kumangotanthauza kubweretsanso mphamvu - zomwe ndizofunikira kwambiri! Tikudziwa kuti kugonana kumatulutsa ma endorphins ena, dopamine ndi oxytocin - amasintha momwe munthu amamvera ndipo amatha kukupatsani chisangalalo chachikulu. Kuphatikiza apo, kugonana (osati kungolowa m'thupi kokha) kungathandizenso kuchepetsa nkhawa polimbana ndi cortisol.

Sikuti kugonana nthawi zonse kumakhala kopindulitsa kwa inu, komanso kumapindulitsa pa ubale wonse. Zimalimbikitsa chidaliro, zimalimbikitsa chikondi, ndipo zimapanga ubwenzi wokhalitsa umene umakhala kunja kwa chipinda chogona.

Kugonana Kodzisamalira Motani?

Ngati sichoncho chifukwa chogonana pambuyo pogonana, pali zifukwa zina zambiri zopangira kugonana kosamalira. Koma ndikofunikira kuti muyese kuchita bwino m'malo mochita ngati ntchito yonyozeka. Tsopano popeza tamvetsetsa chifukwa chake kugonana kuli kofunika muubwenzi, tiyeni tsopano tipite kuzinthu zazikulu.

Kodi mumagonana bwanji moyenera? Nawa masenti athu awiri.

1. Kambiranani momasuka

Ukwati wabwino ndi kugonana zimayendera limodzi, ndichifukwa chake mukayesa kugonana kosamalira, muyenera kuonetsetsa kuti mwakambirana bwino komanso momasuka za izi. Choyamba, yesani kupeza chifukwa chomwe simunagonepo. Kodi ndi kukakamizidwa kuntchito, chinthu chomwe mnzanu wina akuchita molakwika, kapena kungokhala kusowa kwa zizindikiro zokopana pakati pa inu nonse?

Lankhulani za chifukwa chomwe izi zachitikira komanso kangati inu nonse muyenera kugonana moyenera. Konzani, konzani, khazikitsani tsiku, kapena musatero ngati simukufuna. Ngati mukuganiza kuti kugonana kunja kwa buluu kudzakhala kwabwino kwa inu ngati banja, thamangani nazo. Koma onetsetsani kuti muli pa tsamba limodzi pa zinthu izi.

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2. Kumbukirani kuti sizikhala zokhumudwitsa nthawi zonse

Ngati ziyembekezo zanu kuchokera pakugonana kosamalira ndikuti zingakupangitseni malingaliro ndikusintha nkhope yaubwenzi wanu usiku, mukulakwitsa. Monga momwe zimatengera nthawi kuphunzira kuthetsa kusamvana, kuchita chilungamo, ndi kulankhulana bwino, lingaliraninso izi ngati mchitidwe wofanana.

Ngati muli pachibwenzi chopanda chiyembekezo , kugonana bwino sikungathetse mavuto onse a m'banja lanu. Muyenera kupitiriza. Ndipotu, simuyenera kungopitirizabe komanso kuyesetsa. Yesani zinthu zatsopano, uzani mnzanu zomwe mumakonda, yesani kumukhutiritsa, ndikusunga chilakolako cha kugonana chilipo.

3. Pitirizani kusintha chizolowezi

Kuyesa umishonale wakale pabedi musanagone tsiku lina kungagwire ntchito. Tsiku lina, ganizirani za quickie kukhitchini pamene ana akuvala kusukulu. Kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino m'banja, onetsetsani kuti mukusintha zinthu ndipo musakhale m'chizoloŵezi chakale. Chizoloŵezi chakale chimenecho ndi chifukwa chake munasiya kugonana poyamba.

Bwanji osagulitsa zovala zamkati zatsopano ndi zoseweretsa zogonana kuti mutenge zinthu zapamwamba? Komanso, ganizirani kuwonera zolaula pamodzi ndikuyesera malo atsopano kuti zinthu zikhale zatsopano. Kotero mwa kuyankhula kwina, gwedezani zinthu.

4. Yang'anani kwambiri pa orgasm

Kugonana kosamalira sikumangokuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi kugonana kwabwino, komanso ubale wabwino. Ndipo kuti muchite izi, muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri mahomoni oyenera. Pamene anthu onse ali ndi orgasm, ubwenzi ndi malingaliro ali pachimake. Chifukwa chake onetsetsani kuti chisangalalo chimenecho ndi njira yanjira ziwiri kuti anthu onse asangalale.

Kukwaniritsa cholinga chachikulu kungaoneke kovuta makamaka kwa akazi chifukwa safika pachimake pa kugonana mopitirira muyeso poyerekeza ndi amuna, koma si chifukwa chosayesera. Ingomufunsani zomwe amakonda komanso zomwe muyenera kuchita mosiyana. Yesani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti mumusangalatse, koma musamadzikakamize ngati sizikugwira ntchito.

• Patulani Kulankhulana
• Kumvetsetsa Matupi a Wina ndi Mnzake
• Phatikizani Foreplay
• Yesani ndi Njira
• Ganizirani pa Kulingalira
• Gwiritsani ntchito Lubrication ngati Pakufunika
• Tchulani Zosiyanasiyana
• Limbikitsani Kukhutitsidwa
• Yesetsani Kuleza Mtima
• Limbitsani Minofu ya M'chiuno
• Yankhani Zolepheretsa Zamaganizo
• Khalani ndi Thanzi Labwino

5. Sizimangothera pa kugonana

Ngakhale tikukuuzani zabwino zonse zogonana ndi kusamalira, tikufuna kuti mudziwe kuti muyenera kuchita zambiri kuti mupulumutse ubale wanu. Ngakhale kuti mwamvetsetsa kufunika kwa kugonana muukwati kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi, pali njira zina zosonyezera munthu amene mumamukonda ndikumupatsa chikondi.

Yesetsani kuchita zinthu zambiri limodzi kuti chikondi chanu chikhale chamoyo muubwenzi wanu. Konzani masiku amasiku, ngakhale masiku awiri ngati mukufuna. Ponyani wokondedwa wanu modabwitsa mwachisawawa, mubweretsere khofi kuntchito kapena khalani ndi kapu ya vinyo wofiira pabedi musanagone. Yesani kuchita zinthu zing'onozing'ono, zatanthauzo pamodzi ndi kugonana kosamalira ngati mukufunadi kukhala osangalala mu chiyanjano chanu.

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6. Dziwani zomwe zikukupangitsani kuti mukhale ndi chilakolako chogonana

Mwina simukudziwa, koma ndizotheka kuti bwana wanu watsopano kuntchito ndi chifukwa simunachitepo pabedi posachedwapa. Ngakhale izi ndizovuta, sizitanthauza kuti simungathe kuthana nazo ndikukonzanso moyo wanu wogonana. Ganizirani zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala chonchi ndikugawana ndi okondedwa anu. Yang'anani pazovuta izi zomwe zingakhudze malingaliro anu ndikuyesera kuzithetsa.

Kukhala wosachita zachiwerewere muubwenzi ndi chifukwa chodetsa nkhawa komanso chisokonezo. Musanyalanyaze zimenezo ndipo m'malo mwake yesani kuyesetsa. Yesani kugonana kosamalira ndikuwona ngati zinthu zikusintha muubwenzi wanu. Ngati sichoncho, ganizirani kukumana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo kuchokera ku gulu lathu la alangizi a Bonobology.

Ibibazo

Maganizo Final

Kugonana kosamalira sikukhudza udindo—koma ndi kuyika patsogolo mgwirizano wamaganizo ndi wakuthupi womwe umasunga ubale ukuyenda bwino. Mu maubwenzi a nthawi yayitali, zofuna za moyo nthawi zambiri zimakankhira ubale kukhala wofunikira kwambiri, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale mtunda ndi kusakhutira. Pozindikira kufunika kwa ubale wofuna, maanja amatha kulimbikitsa ubale wakuya, kukonza kulumikizana, ndikulimbitsa ubale wawo pakapita nthawi. Akatswiri athu azachipatala ali pano kuti athandize. Ndi malangizo achifundo, timapereka zida ndi njira zobwezeretsanso ubale, kuthana ndi zopinga, ndikutsimikizira ubale wokhutiritsa.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

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