Momwe Mungathanirane ndi Kukanidwa Kugonana ndi Wokondedwa Wanu - Malangizo 9

Tangoganizani izi: Mwakhala mukuyenda mosasunthika ndi wokondedwa wanu kwa nthawi yayitali ndipo nonse mwalowa m'chizoloŵezi. Ubwenzi umamveka ngati wamba, ngakhale nthawi zanu zapamtima nthawi zina zimakhala ngati ntchito, ndipo mphamvu yomwe mudamva m'masiku oyambirira yatha. Mumayesa kulamulira koma nthawi iliyonse mukatero, mumakumana ndi kukana kugonana.

Kukanidwa kugonana muubwenzi kungayambitse mavuto aakulu kwa anthu omwe akukhudzidwa. Kungachititse kuti mnzanu mmodzi kapena onse awiri azimva kupweteka, kukhumudwa, komanso kukwiya ndipo ngati sikuthetsedwa, kungakhale chiyambi cha mapeto kwa inu monga banja. Kuti tiwonetsetse kuti vutoli silikupitirira mpaka kufika poipa kwambiri paubwenzi wanu, tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungathanirane ndi kukanidwa kugonana ndi mnzanu, pokambirana ndi mlangizi komanso wolemba Niyatii N Shah , yemwe ndi mphunzitsi wophunzitsa za kugonana komanso mphunzitsi wa zaubwenzi.

Zotsatira Zakukana Kugonana pa Ubale

Kukanidwa kugonana kumakhudza kwambiri kukhutitsidwa kwa ubale. Kukanidwa nthawi zonse kumapangitsa kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo musakhale ndi nthawi yokwanira yogonana, komanso kuti musamadzikayikire. Kudziona kuti ndinu wosafunika kungakupangitseni kumva kuti simukufuna kugonana muubwenzi, zomwe zingayambitse kuchepa kwa ubale weniweni komanso kuyandikirana maganizo, zomwe zikuwonjezera vutoli.

Ngati sizikutsatiridwa, kukanidwa kwa kugonana m'maubwenzi kungayambitse kusakhulupirika kapena kusokonezeka kwathunthu kwa mgwirizano wa okwatirana. Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti kukana kugonana sikumangokhalira kuukira munthu, ndipo pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zomwe zimayambitsa kukanidwa, monga kupsinjika maganizo, kukhumudwa, kapena matenda.

Kukhudzidwa kwathupi ndi m'malingaliro chifukwa chokanidwa kugonana

Malinga ndi Niyatii, kukanidwa kosalekeza kwa kugonana kwa mnzanu kumatha kukhala ndi zotsatira zenizeni zakuthupi kwa anthu. Iye akufotokoza kuti, "Kukana kugonana kungakhale ndi zotsatira za thupi kwa anthu omwe ali paubwenzi.Zingayambitse kuchepa kwa chilakolako chogonana, zomwe zingayambitse vuto la kugonana monga kusokonezeka kwa erectile kapena kuuma kwa ukazi.Kuonjezera apo, kukana kugonana kwa nthawi yaitali kungayambitse kuchepa kwa testosterone mwa amuna, zomwe zingakhudze thanzi lawo lonse la thupi ndi maganizo.

“Kukana kugonana kungathenso kukhudza kwambiri maganizo a anthu amene ali pachibwenzi.” Kukhoza kuchititsa munthu kudziona ngati wosafunika, wodzikayikira, ndi wodziona ngati wosafunika.

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Zotsatira za kukana kugonana pagulu

Chomwe sichingakhale chodziwikiratu ndi momwe anthu amakhudzira kukana kugonana. Niyatii akuti, "Zingathe kupanga malingaliro odzipatula ndi odzipatula ku zochitika zamagulu, zomwe zingakhudze moyo wa anthu onse awiri. Angapewe zochitika zamagulu ndi zochitika zomwe angayembekezere kuyanjana wina ndi mzake kapena ndi ena. Zingayambitse kudziimba mlandu, manyazi, ndi manyazi, ndipo zingayambitse kusagwirizana kwa mabwenzi ndi maubwenzi ena ochezera.

Kuonjezera apo, kukana kugonana kungathe kukhudza momwe okondedwa amadziwonera okha komanso kuthekera kwawo kugwirizana ndi ena.

Kodi chimachitika ndi chiyani ngati chilakolako chogonana chosagwirizana chimayambitsa kukanidwa?

Palinso nkhani yokhala ndi chilakolako chogonana/ chilakolako chogonana chosiyana . Pankhaniyi, kusinthaku n’kosiyana kwambiri ndipo kukanidwa m’njira yabwino kungasunge mphamvu ya ubalewo posapangitsa mnzanu wosafuna kwenikweni kumva kuti ali ndi udindo wogonana chifukwa cha ubalewo. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti kukoma mtima m’makhalidwe okana kugonana kumawonjezera kukhutitsidwa kwa ubale kwa nthawi yayitali koma osati kukhutitsidwa kwa kugonana kwa kanthawi kochepa.

Mwamuna ndi mkazi: Momwe mwamuna ndi mkazi amachitira akakanidwa kugonana

Mwinanso mumadzifunsa kuti, “Kodi mkazi amamva bwanji akakanidwa kugonana ndi mmene mwamuna amamvera?” Pankhani ya kusiyana pakati pa amuna ndi akazi, Niyatii ananena kuti: “Pakhoza kukhala kusiyana kwa mmene mwamuna amachitira ndi mmene mkazi amachitira akakanidwa kugonana, ngakhale kuti zimenezi zingasiyane kwambiri malinga ndi mmene munthu alili komanso mmene zinthu zilili.

Ndiye, kodi mkazi amamva bwanji akakanidwa kugonana? Nazi zina zomwe zingatheke kusiyana pakati pa momwe mkazi ndi mwamuna angayankhire akakanidwa kugonana:

• Amuna okwatirana angasonyeze kukhumudwa kwawo poyera pamene akuona kuti akukanidwa kugonana, pamene akazi amaulula zakukhosi kwawo.
• Amuna angamve ngati kuti amuna awo akuopsezedwa, pamene akazi angamve ngati akukanidwa
• Amuna amawona kugonana ngati kugwirizana kwakuthupi, pamene akazi amawona ngati chinthu chochuluka kulumikizana kwamaganizidwe. Ndiye ngati akumva kukanidwa ndi okondedwa awo, zotsatira zake zitha kukhala zakuthupi kwa amuna pomwe akazi amakhala okhumudwa kwambiri.

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Momwe Mungathanirane ndi Kukanidwa Kugonana ndi Wokondedwa Wanu - Malangizo 9

Ngati mukukumana ndi vuto lomwe wokondedwa wanu amakana kugonana ndi inu, ndikofunikira kuthana ndi vutoli moyenera kuti zisasokoneze kukhutira kwanu paubwenzi wonse. Nawa maupangiri othana ndi kukanidwa kogonana ndi okondedwa mnjira yathanzi:

1. Osadzitengera nokha

Niyatii akuti, "Kukanidwa kugonana kungayambitse kukhumudwa, mkwiyo, ndi mkwiyo kwa wokondedwa wokanayo. Ngati sikuthandizidwa bwino, malingaliro amenewa angayambitse kusokonekera kwa kulankhulana ndikuwononga ubale."

Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti musayese kudzitengera nokha ngakhale ndizosavuta kunena kuposa kuchita. Kumbukirani kuti n’zosakayikitsa kuti khalidweli silikukhudza inu. China chake chikhoza kuchitika m'moyo wa wokondedwa wanu chomwe simumachidziwa monga matenda, nkhawa, kuchepa kwa chilakolako chogonana, ndi zina zotero.

2. Lankhulani momasuka

Poganizira izi, ndikofunikira kukambirana momasuka komanso moona mtima ndi wokondedwa wanu za chifukwa chomwe akukanira kugonana. Pewani kupanga malingaliro ndi kumvetsera mosamala ku nkhawa zawo. Kulankhulana ndiye chinsinsi cha chikhutiro cha ubale komanso moyo wogonana wabwino. Ngati akuwoneka kuti akutseka lingaliro la kukambitsirana kumeneku, kungakhale kungopeŵa kukukhumudwitsani.

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3. Pezani nthawi yoti mukambirane

Chinthu chotsiriza chimene mukufuna kuchita ndi kubweretsa nkhawa yanu pa iwo pamene akukonzekera ntchito kapena kukonzekera ana kusukulu. Adziwitseni kuti mukufuna kukambirana za izo ndikubwera ndi nthawi yabwino kwa inu pamene mukudziwa kuti simudzasokonezedwa.

"Kugonana nthawi zambiri ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pa mgwirizano wamaganizo pakati pa okwatirana. Pamene kukanidwa kwa kugonana kukuchitika, kungapangitse kuti pakhale kusagwirizana kwamaganizo ndi mtunda pakati pa okwatirana, zomwe zingayambitse kuvutika maganizo kwambiri. Zimakhala zofunikira kutsegula njira zolankhulirana pankhaniyi kuti zisapitirire kufalikira," akutero Niyatii.

4. Musamaweruze pofotokoza nkhawa zanu

Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti mnzanuyo amve otetezeka pazokambiranazi. Simukufuna kuwoneka ngati woneneza kapena woweruza chifukwa izi zidzawatsekereza. Munganene kuti, “Kwa nthawi yaitali sitinagonane” kapena “Ndimaona ngati tikusiyana kwambiri.”

Wokondedwa wanu akhoza kudziwa kuti alibe chidwi ndi kugonana koma osaganizira zomwe anganene. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri, musawaweruze. Kuwona momwe mungamuwuze wokondedwa wanu kuti simukukhutitsidwa pogonana popanda kumukhumudwitsa ndikofunikira kuti muthetse vutoli.

5. Auzeni mmene mukumvera

Akangofotokoza nkhawa zawo, mungawauze mofatsa momwe kukana kwanu kugonana kwakukukhudzirani. M'malo monena kuti, "Mukundipangitsa kumva ngati wopanda pake," kapena "Ndatopa kuyambitsa chibwenzi ," mungayesere china chake monga, "Ndikumva ngati wosafunika ndipo zikukhudza kudzidalira kwanga." Kufotokoza malingaliro anu ndikofunikira pothana ndi vuto lanu lokana kugonana, ndipo kuchita izi mwachifundo ndikofunikira kuti zokambiranazi zikhale zopindulitsa komanso zothandiza.

6. Lemekezani malire

Ndikofunikanso kulemekeza malire a mnzanuyo komanso osamukakamiza kuti achite zogonana ngati sakumasuka. Kuvomerezana ndikofunikira kwambiri pazochitika zilizonse zogonana ndipo simukufuna kukulitsa vuto lawo pomukakamiza kuti achite zogonana. Palibe cholakwika ndi kufuna kugonana koma ngati mnzanuyo sakufuna kugonana, muyenera kulemekeza zimenezo.

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7. Ganizirani za mitundu ina ya ubwenzi

M'malo moyesa kupeza momwe mungapangire mnzanuyo kuti akufuneni kugonana, yesani kukhala nawo m'njira zina. Niyatii akuti, “Kugonana ndi njira imodzi yokha yosonyezera chikondi. Kuchita zimenezi kungathandize kulimbitsa ubwenzi wanu pouza mnzanuyo kuti mumamukonda.

8. Dzisamalire

Koma zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kudzinyalanyaza. Kukhumudwa kwa kukanidwa kwa kugonana kumatha kukula pakapita nthawi. Niyatii anati: “Ngati umadziona ngati wosafunika, m’pofunika kuti usamalire bwino maganizo ndi thupi lako.” Zimenezi zingatanthauze kulankhula ndi bwenzi lodalirika, kuyezetsa kudzisamalira, kapena kupempha thandizo kwa akatswiri ngati kuli kofunika.

9. Ganizirani sitepe yotsatira

Malingana ndi chifukwa chomwe wokondedwa wanu akukanira kugonana ndi inu, mwina sinthani momwe mumasonyezera chikondi chanu kwa iwo kapena yambani kuganizira / kukambirana njira zotsatirazi. Kumbukirani, kukanidwa kugonana muukwati/ubwenzi sikuwonetsa kufunikira kwanu monga munthu. Ndikofunikira kuchitapo kanthu mwachifundo, kumvetsetsa, ndi ulemu kwa inu ndi wokondedwa wanu, mosasamala kanthu kuti khalidwe lawo lokana kugonana limakupangitsani kumva bwanji.

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Momwe Mungakanizire Kupititsa patsogolo Kugonana Njira Yoyenera

Kumbali ina, ngati ndinu amene mukumva kukakamizidwa kuti mugonane kwambiri ndipo mukudabwa momwe mungachitire popanda kuvulaza wokondedwa wanu, apa pali malangizo kwa inu:

1. Khalani oona mtima ndi omveka bwino

Niyatii akuti, “Ndikofunikira kufotokoza momwe mukumvera komanso malire anu muubwenzi momveka bwino komanso moona mtima. Auzeni momwe mukumvera komanso chifukwa chake simukufuna kuchita zogonana panthawiyo.”

Anthu ena amakhala chete ndipo salankhulana poganiza kuti adzaweruzidwa kapena kuopa kuti angawanyamule. Ngati muli ndi nkhawa zenizeni za izi, kungakhale kwanzeru kupeza chithandizo choyamba. Kuyesetsa kupewa kugonana kumangowonjezera vutolo.

2. Sonyezani kuyamikira

Ngakhale simungafune kuchita zogonana, ndikofunikira kusonyeza kuyamikira zomwe mnzanu wachita. Muthokozeni chifukwa cha chidwi chawo ndipo muwadziwitse kuti mukuwayamikirabe ndi kuwakonda. Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti 'kukana kolimbikitsa' kwamtunduwu ndiye njira yabwino kwambiri yokwaniritsira ubale ngakhale kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana kungatenge nthawi yochepa. Makhalidwe okana kugonana angapangitse kapena kuwononga ubale wachikondi.

3. Perekani njira ina

Niyatii akuti, “Ngati simukufuna kuchita zogonana, perekani njira ina yolumikizirana ndi mnzanu ndikugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu yokhudza thupi kuti mumve kuti muli pafupi. Mwina mungakumbatire kapena kuonera kanema limodzi.” Izi zikusonyeza mnzanuyo kuti ngakhale simukufuna kugonana, mukufunabe kukhala naye ndipo mukufuna kuyesa mitundu ina ya chikondi chakuthupi. Yesani kuwauza kuti nthawi yocheza nanu si nthawi zonse yokhudza kugonana.

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4. Khazikitsani malire (kubwerezabwereza)

Pankhani ya maubwenzi ogonana, zimakhala zovuta kupitirira kufunikira kwa malire. Pazimenezi, Niyatii anati: “M’pofunika kulemekeza malire anu ndi malire a mnzanuyo. Ngati mukuona kuti mukudziteteza, funsani akatswiri kuti athane ndi vutolo.

5. Bweretsaninso zokambiranazo

Mukakana zogonana, ndikofunikira kukambirananso ndi mnzanu. Kambiranani zakukhosi kwanu ndi malire anu, ndipo gwirani ntchito limodzi kuti mupeze momwe mungalumikizanenso ndi mnzanuyo pankhani yogonana ndikukhutiritsa zosowa za wina ndi mnzake mwaumoyo komanso mwaulemu. Kukambirana kumeneku kungathandize kwambiri pakumveketsa bwino zolinga za khalidwe lanu lokana kugonana.

Kukanidwa kugonana sikumamveka bwino koma kumatha kuyendetsedwa mosamala komanso kumvetsetsa kuti mukwaniritse ubale wabwino. Ngati mukukumana ndi kukanidwa kwa kugonana muubwenzi wanu, kumbukirani kuti kusagwirizanitsa kugonana ndi mnzanu si mapeto a dziko lapansi ndipo si njira yokhayo yomwe mungagwirizane nawo.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.