Momwe Mungathetsere Mkhalidwe: Malangizo 11 Akatswiri

M'badwo uno wa kusuntha kosatha pa mapulogalamu a zibwenzi komanso kuchuluka kwa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kwachititsa kuti pakhale kusiyana kosiyanasiyana kwa maubwenzi, chimodzi mwazomwe ndizochitika. Ngati mukupeza kuti muli m'modzi, ndikofunikira kudziwa momwe mungathetsere vuto mwachisomo komanso popanda kupwetekedwa chifukwa kusakhazikika ndizomwe zimatsimikizira kulumikizana kwamadzi.

Munkhaniyi, tikuyang'ana kwambiri za mkhalidwe ndikupereka malangizo omwe agwiritsidwa ntchito bwino pa kupewa vuto lililonse, ndi malingaliro ochokera kwa katswiri wa maubwenzi komanso mlangizi Dhriti Bhavsar (Master's in Clinical Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri pa ubale, kutha kwa ubale, ndi uphungu wa LGBTQ.

Kodi Situationship Ndi Chiyani Ndipo Mungadziwe Bwanji Kuti Muli Mmodzi?

Kodi vuto ndi chiyani kwenikweni? Funsoli mwina linakusokonezani kamodzi kokha m'moyo wanu. Izi ndi zomwe ulusi wa Reddit ukufunanso kufufuza. Wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit wina anali ndi yankho losavuta la funsoli. Anatanthauzira vuto ndi, "Chilichonse choposa ubwenzi ndi ubale wochepa," ndikuwonjezera kuti, "Chinthu chachikulu ndi kusowa kwa kudzipatula." Ndipo tikuvomereza. Lingaliro lonse la vuto limachokera ku kusinthasintha komanso kusakhalitsa kwa ubale. Koma munthu angadziwe bwanji ngati ali mu vuto?

Momwe mungadziwire ngati muli mumkhalidwe wovuta

Tsopano popeza tili ndi yankho la "Kodi mkhalidwe ndi chiyani?", Kodi mumasokonezeka ngati muli m'modzi? Kodi ndi zizindikiro zotani zotsimikizira kuti simukukondana kapena zomwe zimatchedwa ubwenzi zitha kukhala vuto? Malinga ndi Dhriti, izi ndi zizindikiro zochepa zosonyeza kuti muli m'mavuto:

• Palibe chizindikiro: Dhriti akuti, “Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zotsimikizirika za mkhalidwewo ndicho kusadziŵika bwino paubwenziwo.” Choncho, simungakhale ndi udindo wokhazikika kwa wina ndi mzake
• Palibe kulumikizana komveka bwino: Kodi simukuwona mapulani enieni amtsogolo? Dhriti akuti, "Ngati palibe amene adalankhulapo momveka bwino za momwe chibwenzicho chidzakhalire, ndiye kuti pangakhale vuto. maubale odzipereka amayenera kupanga nthawi yayitali. ”
• Kusadzipereka: Chizindikiro chimodzi chodziwikiratu chazovuta ndi pamene simukudzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake. Dhriti anati: “Zikatero, anthu amene ali pachibwenzi amakhala omasuka kucheza ndi anthu ena.
• Ayi ikani malire: Mkhalidwe ukhoza kukhala ndi malire osadziwika bwino kapena osuntha. Dhriti akufotokoza kuti: “Kusadziŵa chimene chili bwino muubwenzi, kapena kuchuluka kwa zimene mungapemphe kapena kuyembekezera paubwenziwo, kuli malo oopsa ndipo kumasonyeza kuti si ubwenzi koma mkhalidwe.”
• Palibe zomverera: Kukhala ndi chiyanjano chochepa m'malingaliro ndi kusowa kwa chiwopsezo ndizizindikiro za vuto. Dhriti anati: “N’kutheka kuti pangakhale zinthu zina zimene simumagawirana, ndipo zimenezo n’zachibadwa.
• Palibe chitsimikizo: Kudzimva kukhala wosakhazikika muubwenzi ndi chizindikiro china chachikulu cha mkhalidwe. Dhriti anati: “Kukayikakayika pa zimene munthu wina akufuna kwa iye, kapena kumene akufuna kuchitengera, ndi chizindikiro chakuti inuyo si chibwenzi ayi, koma ndi mmene zinthu zilili.”

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 9 Zosonyeza Kuti Muli Paubwenzi Wakufa

Malangizo 11 Akatswiri a Momwe Mungathetsere Mkhalidwe

Kukhala mumkhalidwe, mwa kutanthauzira, kumatanthauza kuti simuli limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali. Chifukwa chake, mukamalowa m'gawo losadziŵika bwino la maubwenzi, ndikwanzeru kupita ndi chidziwitso cha momwe mungathetsere vutolo. Mukuona, zoona zake n’zakuti, ziribe kanthu momwe tingagaŵire maubale athu molingana ndi zofuna zathu, ndiye kuti pamapeto pake, ndife anthu okhala ndi malingaliro ndi malingaliro enieni. Ndipo chifukwa sife maloboti, komanso maubwenzi athu sangakhale okhazikika. Choncho, ngati simukudziwa momwe mungachokere muzochitika zinazake, zingakulepheretseni kukhala okhumudwa.

Kuti tifotokoze bwino za ululu wothetsa vuto, nayi chitsanzo cha momwe zinalili zovuta kwa wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit : "Ine (27F) ndakhala mu "vuto lalikulu" kwa pafupifupi miyezi 7 ndi (26M). Tinakambirana za kudzipatula ndipo tinagwirizana kuti tinkangokondana, koma iye ankazengereza kudzipereka kwathunthu ku chibwenzi pazifukwa zingapo. Ndinkakhulupirira mopusa kuti nditha kusintha maganizo ake pakapita nthawi. Ngakhale kulemba zimenezo kumandipangitsa kumva ngati chitsiru, chifukwa ndikudziwa kuti ndiyenera kufunafuna munthu amene alibe kukayikira za momwe akufunira kukhala nane. Monga munthu amene wakhala muvuto zingapo m'mbuyomu, ndikufunikira kwambiri mawu otonthoza kuti ndithetse vutoli. Ndikudziwa kuti ndi chinthu choyenera kuchita, koma ululu wamtima ndi wosapiririka."

Kuti akuthandizeni kuthana ndi zowawa zotere, Dhriti waphatikiza malangizo angapo. Chifukwa chake, nayi momwe mungasunthire kuchoka pamalowo mwachisomo popanda kuvulaza gulu lililonse:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zifukwa 12 Zomveka Zothetsera Chibwenzi - Ziribe kanthu zomwe Dziko Limanena

1. Vomerezani ndi kumvetsa mmene mukumvera

Ngati nthawi zambiri mumadabwa momwe mungathetsere vutolo, Dhriti akuti, "Ndikofunikira kuti onse awiri asiye kukana ndikuvomereza kuti onse akhumudwa kuti vutolo latsala pang'ono kutha." Ndipo tikuvomereza. Chinthu choyamba chothana ndi ululu uliwonse ndikuvomereza malingaliro anu, mosasamala kanthu kuti ali oipa bwanji.

2. Lembani zosowa zanu

Ngati simukudziwa momwe mungasinthire kuchokera pa vuto linalake, Dhriti akulangizani kuti, "Muyenera kutenga nthawi yodzifufuza ndikupeza zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukuyembekezera muubwenzi wanu ." Payenera kukhala kumveka bwino pa izi:

• Chifukwa chiyani mukuthetsa vutoli
• Zomwe zikusowa mu mgwirizano

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ndiyenera Kuthetsa Chibwenzi Changa? Zizindikiro 12 Zomwe Muyenera Kusiya

3. Sankhani kulankhulana momasuka komanso moona mtima

Njira imodzi yopezera njira yotulukira mu vuto ndi kukambirana momveka bwino. Monga momwe zilili ndi nkhani zina zonse muubwenzi, palibe njira ina yolankhulirana momveka bwino. Chifukwa chake, Dhriti akulangiza kuti, " Lankhulani momveka bwino ndi mnzanu za zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukuyembekezera. Landiraninso zosowa ndi ziyembekezo za winayo."

4. Musamade nkhawa ndi chibwenzi

Monga momwe kupirira vuto kulili kofunika, momwemonso kusagwiritsa ntchito chilichonse kuti kukuthandizeni kupitiriza. Ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa kuti kutuluka mu vuto sikutanthauza kuyamba chibwenzi nthawi zonse. Dhriti anati, "Nthawi zina, ndi bwino kusiya munthu amene sangathe kukupatsani zomwe mukufuna, m'malo moyembekezera kuti asinthe ndikuyamba kudzikwiyira nokha ndi iwo panthawiyo."

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5. Muziganizira kwambiri zochita zodzisamalira

Yankho la momwe mungagonjetsere vuto lili m'kuika patsogolo chisamaliro chanu ndi kukula kwaumwini. Dhriti akuti, "Kuti mugonjetse vuto lililonse , kumbukirani chinthu chimodzi chaching'ono: muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri pa kudzaza kapu yanu musanathire mu ya wina." Nazi njira zina zomwe mungachitire zimenezo:

• Splurge pa tsiku la spa
• Dzikonzekereni nokha ndikukwera pamwamba
• Khalani ndi tsiku limodzi ndi anzanu apamtima
• Pitani nokha
• Idyani wathanzi
• Chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi tsiku lililonse
• Muziganizira kwambiri zinthu zimene mumakonda, monga kuvina, kuumba mbiya, kulima dimba kapena nyimbo

6. Khalani ndi malire abwino

Nayi njira ina yodziwira momwe mungasinthire kuchoka pa vuto, ndipo iyi mwina ndi imodzi mwa malangizo ofunikira kwambiri pothana ndi vuto ngati ili: kukhazikitsa malire. Dhriti akuti, "Muyenera kukhala ndi malire omveka bwino ngati mukufunadi kuthetsa vuto la munthu amene munali naye. Malire amakuthandizani kuyang'anira zomwe mukuyembekezera ndikuwona munthu winayo momwe alili, osati kudzera mu malingaliro a amene mukufuna kuti akhale." Kudziwa nthawi yoti achoke ndikuzindikira pamene malire anu sakulemekezedwa ndikofunikiranso.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo 20 Okhudza Momwe Mungasiyire Kufuna Chibwenzi

7. Samalirani thanzi lanu lamalingaliro

Dhriti akuti, “Ngati pali mantha aliwonse okhudza kusiyidwa ndi kukanidwa omwe akubwera, omwe akukulepheretsani kukhala mu mkhalidwe umenewu, yang'anani komwe akuchokera. Kenako ganizirani zomwe zikuchitika panopa.” Kuti muthane ndi mavuto otere, mutha kufunsanso mlangizi kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo ndikuganiza zoyamba chithandizo. Ngati mukufuna thandizo la akatswiri, maupangiri a Bonobology alipo kuti akuthandizeni.

8. Lumikizanani ndi malo ochezera a pa Intaneti

Mukayesa kupeza njira zothetsera vuto ndi kuthana ndi kusungulumwa komwe kumatsatira, pezani chithandizo kuchokera kwa anzanu ndi anthu odalirika omwe amakudziwani bwino. Dhriti akuti, "Kukhala ndi chithandizo cha anthu ena nthawi zovuta ngati zimenezi kumawathandiza kukhala opirira kuposa kudutsa mu magawo otere nokha."

9. Khalani ndi chiyembekezo

Dhriti akuti, “Ndikofunikira kukhala ndi chiyembekezo pankhani ya maubwenzi ndipo musalole kuti zomwe mwakumana nazo ndi vuto limodzi zikufotokozereni momwe mukumvera za maubwenzi omwe akubwera mtsogolo. Ubwenzi uliwonse udzakhala wapadera, wokhala ndi zovuta zake zapadera.” Chifukwa chake, khalani okonzeka kukumana ndi maubwenzi atsopano molimba mtima, osagonja ku malingaliro oipa kapena kukayikira.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Ndidzapeza Chikondi? Zifukwa 10 Zokhalira ndi Chiyembekezo

10. Khazikani mtima pansi

Dhriti anati: “Kumbukirani kukhala woleza mtima kwa inuyo ndi mnzanuyo. Osathamangira chilichonse. Chofunika kwambiri ndikuti musamalize:

• Kudzilowetsa mu blame game
• Kukhala nawo mwachipongwe
• Kumaliza zinthu molakwika
• Kuthetsa zinthu mwadzidzidzi, ndi ndewu

11. Ganizirani ngati mkhalidwe wanu ukhoza kukhala wokulirapo

Inde, kuthetsa vuto ndi kupita patsogolo si ntchito ya ana. Choncho, musanathetse zinthu zonse, ganizirani za mwayi wobwereranso ndikupita patsogolo. Ndikofunikira kuti mukhale omveka bwino ngati mukufuna kuchoka kapena kukhalabe. Ngati mukuganiza kuti muli ndi mnzanu wabwino ndipo mukufuna kuyesetsa kwa nthawi yayitali, musazengereze kutero.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Chikondi Chopanda Malire Mu Ubwenzi N'chothekadi? Zizindikiro 12 Zosonyeza Kuti Uli Nacho

Dhriti anati: “Khalani wokonzeka kusungitsa ubwenzi wanu ngati mukufuna kuupititsa patsogolo.” Muyenera kuyesetsa kukulitsa chidaliro ndi ubwenzi muubwenzi, kuika patsogolo kulankhulana momasuka, ndi kupereka nthaŵi yokwanira ndi nyonga muubwenziwo.

Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, kudziŵa nthaŵi yochoka n’kofunikanso. Choncho, musamadzikakamize kutero.

Kuthetsa vuto - 'pafupifupi ubale' - kungakhale kovuta monga kuthetsa ubale wina uliwonse. Komabe, nthawi zonse ndikwabwino kusiya kulumikizana kopanda malire monga zochitika zopanda pake zomwe sizimakubweretserani mtendere wamumtima kapena chisangalalo. 

Tikukhulupirira kuti nkhani yathu yakuthandizani kudziwa zambiri zazochitika komanso zizindikiro zake. Ndipo tikukhulupiriranso kuti simukuvutikiranso kudziwa momwe mungathetsere vuto. Kumbukirani, mutha kusankha nthawi zonse kuchita khama ndikubwerera, koma chomwe muyenera kusankha ndichoti chisankhocho chikuchokera pachimake chanu kapena chifukwa chofuna kutsimikizira zakunja. Ndipotu kudziwa nthawi yochoka n’kofunikanso. 

Ibibazo

Zifukwa 6 Zomwe Kukhala Osakwatiwa Ndi Bwino Kuposa Kukhala Paubwenzi

10 Muyenera-Kutsata Malire a Ubale Wathanzi

Momwe Mungapitirire Munthu Amene Mumamuona Tsiku Lililonse Ndikupeza Mtendere

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

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