Zambiri zimanenedwa pazifukwa zokhalira ndi munthu wina - malingaliro, malingaliro, masomphenya ogawana a tsogolo limodzi. Koma bwanji kudziwa nthawi yothetsa chibwenzi ndi kuchokapo? Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda kapena amene munali naye poyamba sikophweka. Kulemera kwa ziyembekezo ndi maloto onsewo, malonjezo onsewo, malingaliro onsewo amakupangitsani kufuna kumamatira.
Nthawi zambiri, anthu amakhala m'maubwenzi ovuta kapena omwalira nthawi yayitali kuposa momwe ayenera kukhala nawo chifukwa samatsimikiza ngati zifukwa zawo zothetsera chibwenzi ndizokwanira. Kapena kungoti chifukwa chakuti amakakamirabe chiyembekezo chakuti ngati ayesetsa mowonjezereka, kusonyeza chikondi chowonjezereka, kuchita khama lowonjezereka, zinthu zidzayenda bwino ndipo adzakhala ndi kugwirizana kumene anali nako—kapena kumayembekezera nthaŵi zonse.
Komabe, chiyembekezo chimenecho sichimawonekera kwenikweni. Koma mumadziwa bwanji nthawi yoti musiye kuyesa ndikuchitapo kanthu pa chikhumbo chofuna kusiya ndikupitiriza? Tiyeni tikuthandizeni kudziwa izi, ndi chidziwitso kuchokera kwa psychotherapist Gopa Khan (Masters in Counseling Psychology, M.Ed), yemwe amagwira ntchito pa uphungu wa mabanja ndi mabanja.
Nthawi Yothetsa Ubwenzi—Nthawi 18 Zovomerezeka Konse
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Kodi mwakhala mukudzifunsa nokha, "Kodi ndisiyane ndi mnzanga?", Koma simunathe kupanga malingaliro anu. Mwina chifukwa chakuti ena mwa inu akukhulupirirabe kuti ngati mupitirizabe kuyesetsa, nkhani zimene zikukupangitsani kuganiziranso kukhala pachibwenzi zidzathetsedwa ndipo zinthu zidzayenda bwino. Kapena mwinamwake lingaliro loyitcha izo kusiya ndi kuyambanso likuwoneka lovuta kwambiri, ndipo mwakhala mukukokera zidendene zanu, kusiya zosapeŵeka.
Mulimonse mmene zingakhalire, mfundo yakuti mumaganiza zothetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumam’konda—kapena amene munali naye pa chibwenzi—ikusonyeza kuti pali ena. mbendera zofiira mu ubale. Kutembenuza diso sikungawapangitse kuzimiririka. Ngati ngakhale mutayesetsa kwambiri, simunathe kuthetsa mavuto anu, ndi chizindikiro chodziwikiratu kuti ingakhale nthawi yothetsa chibwenzicho ndikupitiriza. Nazi zochitika 20 ngati kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi njira yabwino yokhalira ndikuyesera kuti zinthu ziyende bwino:
1. Ubwenzi ndi wankhanza
Kaya nkhanza zakuthupi, zamaganizo, kapena zamwano, si chinthu chimene mungachinyalanyaze. Lingaliro loyamba la nkhanza liyenera kukhala chifukwa chokwanira chokokera pulagi paubwenzi, ziribe kanthu momwe mungakhalire okhudzidwa kwambiri, ndikupita patsogolo. Vuto la maubwenzi ochitira nkhanza, komabe, nlakuti ochitira nkhanza kaŵirikaŵiri amasonyeza chisoni ndi zochita zawo ndi kulonjeza kusintha njira zawo. Zimenezi n’zimene zimachititsa kuti anthu amene akuzunzidwa atsekerezedwe m’mabwenzi oterowo.
Pokhapokha ngati wokondedwa wanu atsatira malonjezowa ndi ntchito yeniyeni, yogwirika kuti asinthe machitidwe awo, palibe chifukwa chomwe muyenera kuwapatsa mwayi wina. N’kuthekanso kuti nkhanza zawo zimachokera ku zinthu zakale zomvetsa chisoni, chifukwa chake mungakopeke kuti muwakhululukire kapenanso kuwamvera chisoni.
Komabe, kusagwirizana m'makhalidwe, kutukwana, ndi mantha mikangano ya ubale kukhala ndi thupi kungawononge maganizo anu. Ngati simudziyimira nokha, zitha kuwononga kwambiri psyche yanu. Gopa amavomereza kuti nkhanza ndi imodzi mwazovuta kwambiri. Iye anati: “Anthu ambiri amadikirira kwa zaka zambiri kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo asinthe n’kuzindikira kuti zimenezi sizidzachitika.”
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2. Apereka chidaliro chanu
Kuphwanya kukhulupirirana ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimalepheretsa maubwenzi, ndipo ngati ndi nthawi yomwe mukuchita, simukulakwitsa podzifunsa kuti, "Kodi ndisiyane ndi wokondedwa wanga?" Chinyengo, mabodza, chinsinsi, kapena kusakhulupirika kwamtundu wina uliwonse kumawononga maziko a ubale, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuti okwatiranawo agwirizane.
Simungathe kutero khululukirani mnzanu, ndipo ngati palibe chikhululukiro chenicheni chochokera pansi pa mtima, unansiwo udzakhalabe wodzaza ndi mkwiyo ndi mkwiyo. Ndi bwino kungochokapo n’kuyambiranso m’malo mokhala pachibwenzi chomwe chafika poipa chifukwa chokhulupirirana komanso kukwiyirana.
Gopa anati: “Ngati mnzake wolakwiridwayo walapadi, ndiye kuti zinthu zikhoza kuyenda bwino m’kupita kwa nthawi komanso kumuthandiza ndi kumuthandiza.
3. Amakana kusintha
Kodi mnzanu wangwiro ali ndi chizolowezi choipa chomwe simungathe kuchilekerera? Nenani, kumwa, kusuta, njuga mopambanitsa, kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, zosankha zoipa zachuma, ndi zina zotero? Chifukwa zinthu ngati izi zimatha kuyambitsa mkangano waukulu pakati panu. Vuto limatha kukhala chipale chofewa m'kupita kwanthawi ngati, ngakhale mutayesetsa, akukana kusintha.
Sander, wamalonda wachichepere wa ku New York, anati, “Ndakhala m’nkhani yakuti “Kodi ndithetse chibwenzicho?” kwa nthawi yayitali ndisanawononge ubale wanga wazaka 5 ndi Amy Kugula kwake ndi ngongole zazikulu za kirediti kadi zidatibweretsera nkhawa tonse tonse awiri.
Gopa akulangiza kuti: “Pakakhala vuto la kumwerekera kapena matenda a maganizo, kusankha nthawi yothetsa chibwenzi kungakhale kovuta kwambiri kwa munthu, makamaka ngati wayamba ntchito yowasamalira.
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4. Mukugwirana wina ndi mzake
Nthawi zina, maubwenzi amatha osati chifukwa chosowa chikondi kapena kudzipereka kwa wina ndi mzake koma chifukwa chakuti kukhala ndi wokondedwa wanu kukulepheretsani kukhala momwe mumafunira kukhala. Ngakhale kuti zingaoneke ngati zodzikonda, n’zosachita kufunsa kuti pali zifukwa zomveka zothetsera chibwenzi ndi munthu amene umamukondabe.
Kodi muli ndi maloto omwe mukufuna kukwaniritsa? Kodi mukusiya zokhumba zanu kuti mukhalebe ndi mnzanu? Mwina muli ndi mwayi waukulu ku New York umene munakana chifukwa mnzanu sakufuna kuchoka ku LA. Ngati simungapeze malo apakati pomwe mutha kukhala limodzi osataya mtima pazofuna zanu, zitha kumayambitsa mkwiyo mu ubale. Zikatero, ndi bwino kuthetsa chibwenzi popanda kukhumudwitsana.
“Zingakhale zovuta kuthetsa chibwenzi pamene mumakonda wokondedwa wanu.” Komabe, ngati nonse mukufuna zinthu zosiyana m’moyo, ubwenziwo sudzakhala wosavuta kuuchirikiza m’kupita kwa nthaŵi.” “Tapangana pangano” kapena “Tili ndi malingaliro” sizifukwa zokwanira zokhalira pachibwenzi ngati zikuwononga kukula kwanu monga munthu payekha,” akutero Gopa.
5. Mumamenyana nthawi zonse
Pamene mukuyang'ana zifukwa zomveka kuti mukhalebe paubwenzi, kugwidwa mu mkombero wopanda malire wa ndewu ndithudi amawerengera. Ngakhale kuti ubale uliwonse umawona gawo lake la mikangano, ngati ndewu ndi mikangano ndizo zonse zomwe mgwirizano wachepetsedwa, zimasonyeza kuti ubale ukugwa.
Zokambirana zanu za tsiku ndi tsiku zikasanduka machesi, zitha kusokoneza thanzi lanu komanso ubale wanu. Gopa anati: “Ubwenzi woterewu umasokoneza maganizo, maganizo, ndi thupi, ndipo umakhudza mbali iliyonse ya moyo wa onse awiri. kuyenda pa zipolopolo za mazira, powopa kuti kungoyambitsanso pang’ono kungayambitsenso mikangano, kulalata, ndi kukangana.”
6. Zosowa zanu sizikukwaniritsidwa
Zosowa zosakwanira ndi zina mwa zifukwa zomveka zothetsa chibwenzi. Pamene wokondedwa wanu sakupereka zofunikira zokwanira pa zosowa zanu kapena zomwe mukufuna, mumayamba kudzimva kuti ndinu osayenera. Izi, m'kupita kwa nthawi, sizingangophimba chikondi chomwe mumamva kwa iwo, koma kukanidwa kosalekeza ndi kuchotsedwa kwa wokondedwa wanu kumasokoneza kudzidalira kwanu.
"Ngati ubalewu suli wokwanira komanso ngakhale wanu kwambiri zofunika zamaganizo sizikukwaniritsidwa, ndiye kuti kukhalabe ndi chibwenzi kumangotanthauza kulembetsa kaamba ka kupanda chimwemwe ndi kusakhutira.” Kumbukirani kuti muli ndi ufulu wothetsa ubwenzi umene umakupangitsani kudzimva kukhala wosakwanira, wosungulumwa, kapena wopanda ulemu.
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7. Mwapatukana
Simumamufunsa mnzako kuti tsiku lawo linali bwanji. Mutha kupitilira masiku osamuimbira kapena kuwatumizira mameseji ndipo simudzaphonyanso kulumikizana. Mwina simukumva kukhala ogwirizana nawo m'maganizo kapena mwakuthupi. Pali kuchepa kwa kukhudza kwachikondi, kopanda chiwerewere monga kukumbatira mwachikondi kapena kugwirana manja, osasiyapo nthawi zogonana. Mutha kumukonda wokondedwa wanu koma simuli 'm'chikondi' naye. Ndipo tsiku lina labwino mudzazindikira kuti mukukhala ndi miyoyo iwiri yosiyana yomwe ingayende limodzi koma nthawi zambiri imadutsana.
Mwanjira ina, mwatero kutengeka pang'ono. Muzochitika ngati izi, ngati nthawi zonse mumadabwa kuti, "Kodi ndisiyane ndi mnzanga?", tsatirani maganizo amenewo. Chifukwa ngati simungakhale ndi mnzanu kapena kuyankhulana, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe ubale wanu ukulephereka. Ngakhale kuli kovuta kukhalabe ndi chilakolako chomwecho chimene munali nacho pamene mudayamba, ubwenzi umafa pamene kusayanjanitsika kumalowa ndipo ndicho chifukwa chokwanira chothetsera chibwenzi.
8. Mwatopa ndi chibwenzi chanu
Choncho anthu ambiri kupitiriza kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa safuna kulola nthawi ndi mphamvu zimene iwo padera mu izo kupita kuwononga. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, lingaliro la kuyesetsa ndikugwira ntchito kuti athetse mavuto omwe amayambitsa kugwirizana - kaya kutayika kwa chikondi, kapena kusasamala ndi kutopa mu chiyanjano- zikuwoneka zotopetsa. Mwina chifukwa chakuti mwayesetsa kukonza ubwenzi wanu koma sizinaphule kanthu.
Kenako, mumangoganiza kuti "ndi zomwe zili." Koma kodi kukhala ndi munthu wina mukakhala kuti simukusangalalanso ndi nthawi imene muli limodzi, n’chiyani chingathandize kuti muzikhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi munthu wovuta komanso mokakamiza? Ngati lingaliro la kukhala ndi bwenzi lanu silikusangalatsaninso, ngati mungafune kuchita china chilichonse kuposa kukhala nokha ndi iwo, ngati simungathe kukumbukira nthawi yomaliza yomwe mudasangalala ndi kuseka ndi ena anu ofunika, ndipamene muyenera kuthetsa chibwenzi.
9. Wokondedwa wanu wasiya kuyesetsa kwa inu
Ngati mwakhala mukuchita khama lonse mu ubwenzi pamene mnzanuyo akulephera kusonyeza ndi kuchita pang'ono, inu mukhoza kukhala mu maganizo otopetsa zinthu pamene mbali imodzi, inu kuyembekezera motsutsa chiyembekezo kuti zinthu zikhala bwino, ndipo nthawi yomweyo amadabwa ngati ndi liti kuthetsa chibwenzi.
Zingakhale zovuta kuvomereza mfundo yakuti munthu amene mumamukonda samakukondani mmene mukufunira, koma zimenezi zimachitika kawirikawiri kuposa mmene mukuganizira. Zikatero, muyenera kupanga zisankho zovuta kuti mukhale ndi moyo wabwino.
Ubale wa mbali imodzi sungathe kukhazikika kwa nthawi yayitali, ndipo ngakhale mutachita zonse zomwe mungathe kuti zinthu ziyende bwino, zitha kukhala zopweteka komanso zopweteka. Ngakhale kupirira kupsinjika maganizo onsewo simungakhale okhutira chifukwa mnzanuyo adzalephera kukwaniritsa zosowa zanu ndi zomwe mukuyembekezera. Ndibwino kuti mutuluke muvutoli mwamsanga chifukwa mukuyenera kukhala ndi munthu amene muli naye mozama m'chikondi ndi inu, amakumverani, amafuna inu m'moyo wawo, ndipo amakulemekezani monga momwe mulili.
10. Simukugwirizana pakugonana
Kusamvana kumadzetsa vuto lalikulu paubwenzi wa okwatirana. Ngakhale kuti mwachibadwa chilakolako chogonana chimakhala chozizira mutakhala ndi munthu kwa nthawi yaitali, kusagwirizana kotheratu kwa zofuna zogonana kungapangitse chibwenzi kukhala chovuta.
Ngati mnzanuyo sakusamalirani zofuna zanu, amangoganizira za chisangalalo chawo, kapena kudziimba mlandu kukulolerani kugonana pamene simukufuna, sizipanga ubale wofanana ndipo zingakhale zoopsa kwambiri kukhalamo. kuchuluka kwa kudzikonda. Ngakhale ngati mbali zina za unansi wanu zikuoneka kukhala zolinganizika bwino, kupanda chikhutiro chakugonana kungayambitse mkwiyo, mkwiyo, ndi chitonzo—zimene zingawononge ngakhale maunansi olimba kwambiri.
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11. Muli ndi kusiyana kwakukulu kwa chikhalidwe, fuko, kapena zipembedzo
Moyenerera, chikondi chiyenera kupitirira kusiyana kwa fuko, chipembedzo, kapena chikhalidwe koma ngati okwatirana alibe kukhwima maganizo kuti agwirizane ndi kusiyana kwawo kwachibadwa, mavuto angabuke. Gopa akufotokoza kuti: “Zinthu zimene zinkaoneka ngati zazikulu kapena zokongola mutangoyamba kumene chibwenzicho, pambuyo pake zikhoza kukhala choyambitsa mikangano yaikulu pakati pa okwatiranawo.” Kusemphana maganizo kwa tsiku ndi tsiku kumene sikungathetsedwe mwa kulankhulana kapena kukambitsirana kungayambitse mikangano yosautsa ndi kuyambitsa mikangano yosatha. maukwati azikhalidwe zimawavuta kusintha makamaka ngati ali oumirira chikhulupiriro chawo ndi miyambo yawo.”
Mofananamo, zizolowezi ndi moyo wolamulidwa ndi chipembedzo zingakhale zovuta kusintha ndipo zoyesayesa zilizonse za mnzanu kuti atembenuzire theka lawo labwino ku moyo wawo zingayambitse mikangano, makamaka ngati sizichitika mwaufulu. Ngati umunthu wanu, chikhulupiriro chanu, ndi moyo wanu zikukayikiridwa ndi mnzanuyo, zingapangitse ubale wanu kutha.
12. Mumalingalira za munthu wina
N'kwachibadwa kukhala ndi zibwenzi zosakhalitsa kapena kukopeka ndi munthu wina mukakhala pachibwenzi. Komabe, mawu ocheperako komanso kwakanthawi ndi omwe amagwira ntchito pano. Ngati mukupeza kuti mukumanga maloto ndi zongopeka mozungulira, osati mnzanu, koma munthu wina, ndi chizindikiro chotsimikizika chamavuto.
"Mwanjira ina, iyi ndi mawonekedwe a chinyengo chamalingaliro m’banja. Ndinakumana ndi vuto limene mwamunayo amakhala pa mafoni usiku ndi akazi osadziwika, kuyang'ana zolaula, ndikugawana 'zongopeka' zake ndi wokondedwa wake, zomwe zinayambitsa kusatetezeka kwakukulu mkati mwake. Mayiyo ankadziona kuti ndi wosakwanira ndipo sankakhulupirira kapena kulemekeza mwamuna kapena mkazi wake. Kulephera kuthana ndi banja mwauchikulire kungayambitse kukhumudwa ndi kusweka mtima ndipo ndithudi ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zothetsa chikondi,” akutero Gopa.
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13. Simudzimva kukhala otetezeka m'maganizo
Pamene ubale wanu ukusowa chitetezo m'maganizo, simungathenso kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu popanda kuopa kuweruzidwa, kuchotsedwa ntchito, kapena kunyozedwa. Zotsatira zake, mumayamba kunjenjemera, zomwe zimawononga chiwopsezo komanso ubwenzi wapamtima. Chotsatira chake? Inu ndi wokondedwa wanu mumakhala otalikirana komanso omasuka, mumasungulumwa ngakhale muli paubwenzi, ndipo pang'onopang'ono mumayamba kukwiyirana wina ndi mnzake.
"Kupanda chitetezo m'maganizo kungapangitse okondedwa kukhala osawadziwa. Ngati wokondedwa wanu atseka maganizo anu kapena kunyalanyaza malingaliro anu, mukhoza kuyamba kumva kuti simukugwirizana nawo. Posakhalitsa, simungadziwe ngakhale momwe mukumvera," akutero Gopa. Ngati munayamba mwadzifunsapo kuti, "Kodi kugwa m'chikondi kumamva bwanji?" Izi ndizomwe. Ngati ndi zomwe mwakhala mukukumana nazo, ndi nthawi yoti musiye kudabwa nthawi yoti musiye chibwenzi ndikuyamba kukonza momwe mungachitire.
14. Zolinga za moyo wanu sizikugwirizana
Mukufuna moyo wosangalatsa koma wokondedwa wanu amakonda moyo wokhazikika. Inu mukufuna kukhala wopanda mwana mwa kusankha koma mnzanuyo wakhala akulakalaka kukhala ndi banja lalikulu. Ndiwe chizoloŵezi chochira koma mnzanu amaumirira kumwa kumapeto kwa sabata iliyonse. Zolinga zosiyanasiyana za moyo zimatha kuyika moyo wautali wa ubale wanu.
Kaya ndi zolinga zantchito, zokonda pa moyo, kapena kufuna kukhala ndi ana, zolinga zosagwirizana zimatha kukhala magwero a mikangano yosatha muubwenzi, ndipo kupeza njira yokhalira limodzi kumatanthauza kulembetsa kusakhutira kwanthawi yayitali. Gopa anati: “Othandizana nawo amasiyana pamene zolinga za moyo wawo zisemphana.
15. Pali kutsutsa kapena kutsutsa nthawi zonse
Kutsutsa ndi chimodzi mwazo Okwera Mahatchi Anayi a Apocalypse muubwenzi, malinga ndi katswiri wodziwika bwino wa zamaganizo ndi ubale Dr. John Gottman. Ngati wanu mnzanu nthawi zonse amakudzudzulani kapena kukonza zolakwika zanu popanda kulabadira zomwe mumabweretsa paubwenzi, zingakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu wosafunika.
Kusadzidalira kosatha kumeneku kumachotsa kudzidalira ndikutsegula njira ya malo ankhanza, odzaza ndi chitetezo, kunyozedwa, ndi kugenda (okwera pamahatchi ena atatu). Kodi mungayende mpaka liti m'njira imeneyi zonse zisanatheretu? Osati motalika kwambiri. Choncho, ngati ndi kumene mungapeze, kungakhale kwanzeru kuchepetsa zotayika zanu ndikupitiriza.
16. Mwakhala kutali m'malingaliro kapena mwakuthupi
Si zachilendo kwa maanja, makamaka omwe ali paubwenzi wautali, kupyola malire amalingaliro kapena kuthupi. Komabe, mtunda uwu ukakhala chinthu chokhazikika muubwenzi wanu osati kungodutsa, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe ubale wanu ukulephera. Ubwenzi wakuthupi ndi wamalingaliro ndi wofunikira kuti ukhazikitse ndikukulitsa mgwirizano pakati pa okwatirana awiri.
Zochita zosonyezana chikondi monga kukumbatirana, kupsopsonana, ndi kugwirana chanza zimasonyeza chikondi ndipo zimapangitsa anthu kumva kuti amakondedwa ndi kukhumbidwa. Mofananamo, ubwenzi wapamtima umatsegulira njira ya chiwopsezo ndi kukhulupirirana. Mu kusowa chikondi ndi ubwenzi, mungakhale mukudandaula kuti, “Ndimaona ngati ubwenzi wanga ukutha.” Ndipo simukulakwitsa. Funso ndilakuti kodi inu ndi mnzanu mutha kupeza njira yodulira mtunda uwu, kapena mungakhale bwino kusiya njira?
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17. Pali kusalemekezana
Ulemu ndi chimodzi mwa mwala wapangodya wonyowa kwambiri ubale wabwino. Ngakhale kuti chikondi chimaonedwa kuti ndi glu amene amamangiriza anthu aŵiri pamodzi, kwenikweni ndi ulemu umene umachirikiza kugwirizana kwanthaŵi yaitali. “Chikondi sichikhalitsa kwa nthaŵi yaitali popanda kulemekezana, ndipo unansi wopanda ulemu udzalephera,” akutero Gopa.
Ngati wokondedwa wanu sakulemekezani-kaya ndi ndemanga zotsutsa, khalidwe lolamulira kapena kunyalanyaza malire-kuyanjana kwa tsiku ndi tsiku kungathe kuwononga chikhulupiriro ndi chikondi pakapita nthawi. Ulemu, chikondi, ndi kudalirana zatha, chatsala ndi chiyani kwenikweni? Kodi palinso chifukwa chodzifunsa kuti ndi liti kuthetsa chibwenzi muzochitika zotere?
18. Mumamasuka poganiza zothetsa chibwenzi
Ngati mwakhala mukudabwa ngati ndi liti kuthetsa chibwenzi, tengani kamphindi kuti muganizire momwe mungamve ngati mutakumana nazo. Kodi mumamva kumasuka kumakusambitsani kapena lingaliro lolola wokondedwa wanu kupita likusiyani ndi mfundo m'mimba mwanu? Ngati ndi yoyamba, patsala chinthu chimodzi chokha - pitirizani kukokera pulagi.
Lingaliro la kuthetsa zinthu likabweretsa mtendere wochuluka kusiyana ndi chisoni, ubwenziwo watha. “Kukhala pachibwenzi chifukwa cha chizolowezi kapena kuopa kukhala wekha Zingathe kusokoneza maganizo,” anatero Gopa.” Ngati n’chifukwa chake mwazengereza kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu, limbikani mtima n’kumuchotsa kale bandejiyo.” Palibe chifukwa chokwapula kavalo wakufa.
Kuthetsa Ubale - Njira Yoyenera Yochitira
Ziribe kanthu momwe zifukwa zanu zothanirana ndi bwenzi lanu zilili zolimba, kuthetsa chibwenzi sikumakhala kosangalatsa. Payenera kupwetekedwa, kupweteka, ndi mkwiyo kumbali zonse ziwiri. Mukakhala nthawi yayitali, zimakhala zovuta kuti mukhale ndi "zokambirana". Komabe, ndikofunikira kuthana ndi zokambiranazi ndi chidwi komanso kukhwima, kuti musapitirire kukulitsa zowawa ndi zowawa mbali zonse. Kuti muchite izi, pali zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kukumbukira:
- Choyamba, ayi kuthetsa chibwenzi pa meseji pokhapokha ngati chibwenzicho chinali chankhanza ndipo mukuwopa chitetezo chanu kapena mnzanuyo anali wowopsa kwambiri kotero kuti mumawona kuti mulibe ngongole kwa iwo.
- Khalani owona mtima pazifukwa zanu zothetsa chibwenzicho ndikuwafotokozera momveka bwino zomwe zidalakwika. Ndi ulemu waukulu kupereka kutseka koyenera pamene ndiwe amene wasankha kutuluka
- Panthawi imodzimodziyo, pewani kusuntha kwa zolakwazo ndipo khalani achifundo pang'ono ndi malingaliro awo.
- Kukhala paubwenzi ndi ex nthawi zambiri sizigwirizana ndi ambiri a ife. Choncho, musananyamuke, kambiranani za malire omveka bwino a kuyankhulana kwamtsogolo
Ibibazo
Muyenera kukhala oona mtima chifukwa chake mukufuna kuchoka mu ubale. Chifukwa bodza lililonse kapena zolakwa zilizonse zimatha kuyambitsa zowawa komanso zowawa. Pangani zokambirana kukhala zolimbikitsa momwe mungathere, pepesani chifukwa cha kuwakhumudwitsa kulikonse komwe mwawakhumudwitsa, ndipo pewani kuneneza ndi kuimba mlandu mnzanu amene mudzakhala naye posachedwapa.
Chinyengo, kusakhulupirika, kunama, kukana kusintha, ndi kusalabadira zosowa za mnzanu pamene akutembenukira kwa inu kuti muwathandize ndi zifukwa zomveka zothetsa chibwenzi. Mikangano ingapo, kusamvetsetsana, kulakwitsa kwenikweni, bwenzi kusasunga bwino, kusintha kwachilengedwe kwa mnzako akamakalamba - zonsezi ndi zifukwa zoyipa zothetsa chibwenzi.
Sikophweka kuchoka muubwenzi koma mukhoza kuthetsa mwabwino podzichotsa pang'onopang'ono kuchoka pa chiyanjano. Tengani nthawi yanu ndikuwonetsetsa kuti mnzanuyo akudziwa kuti simukukondwera nazo. Kukambirana moona mtima kapena kupempha thandizo kwa mlangizi kungathandizenso.
Ngati m’modzi wa okondedwawo walakwadi ndipo ali wokonzeka kukonza, kutenga udindo, ndi kuchita zonse zomwe angathe kuti apewe, n’kwanzeru kulolerana muubwenzi ndikupatsanso mwayi wina.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Musaganize kawiri musanathetse chibwenzi chokhumudwitsa
- Kusakhulupirika ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe zingathetse banja
- Zosowa zanu zamalingaliro / zanzeru / zakuthupi zomwe sizikukwaniritsidwa ndi chifukwa chokwanira chothetsera chibwenzi
- Ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mukumenyana nthawi zonse kapena mukugwirana wina ndi mzake kuti mufufuze zomwe mungathe kuchita, gawani
- Tulukani ngati simukumva kulumikizidwa nawo kapena ubalewu sulinso wosangalatsa
- Kusiyana kwa chikhalidwe, fuko, kapena zipembedzo ndi zifukwa zomveka zosiya mnzanu
Maganizo Final
Pamene kuli kwakuti kusintha ndi kulolerana kuli kofunika kaamba ka unansi wokhalitsa, musanyalanyaze malingaliro anu. Malingaliro anu ndi omveka komanso zosowa zanu. Ngati zosowa zanu sizikukwaniritsidwa, mumakhala osasangalala nthawi zonse, mumadzimva kuti ndinu osungulumwa komanso muli nokha, kapena simukukonda munthu yemwe mukukhala chifukwa cha ubale wanu, muli ndi ufulu wodziyika nokha patsogolo ndikuchokapo, ziribe kanthu momwe mwakhala pamodzi. Kumbukirani, mumakhala ndi moyo kamodzi kokha, ndipo musalole kuti chibwenzi chikulepheretseni kukhala ndi moyo wabwino.
Kodi Mungayambenso Chibwenzi Mosakhalitsa Mutathetsa Chibwenzi?
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
