Ngati pempho la mnzanuyo kuti agwiritse ntchito Loweruka usiku popanda inu akudandaula kwambiri ndi zomwe angachite, mutha kukhala ndi nkhawa zokhudzana ndi ubale. Pamene kusanthula kumakusokonezani, mutha kumadzifunsa nthawi zonse, "Kodi mungasiye bwanji kuda nkhawa za ubale wanga?"
Pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, ubale wanu ukhoza kuwoneka wangwiro kwa dziko. Zitha kukhala pafupi ndi zenizeni zenizeni, koma m'malingaliro anu, mukukhulupirira kuti china chake chalakwika. Kuthana ndi nkhawa zaubwenzi sikungokuthandizani, koma kudzatsogolera ku mgwirizano wokwaniritsa, mtundu womwe munganene molimba mtima ndi momwe zimawonekera pama TV.
Ubale uliwonse uyenera kukhala wabwino kwambiri momwe ungakhalire. Tili pano kuti tikuthandizeni kukhala wabwino kwambiri mothandizidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Sampreeti Das (MA clinical Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa REBT. Tiyeni tikambirane zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa kuti tithetse nkhawa za ubale.
Zizindikiro 5 Zomwe Mumadandaula Kwambiri Zokhudza Ubale Wanu
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Tisanayankhe funso lanu lakuti, “Kodi ndingasiye bwanji kuda nkhawa ndi chibwenzi changa?”, tiyeni tiwone zizindikiro zake kuti tione ngati ndi vuto lomwe mukulimbana nalo. Ngati nthawi yokhayo yomwe munaganiza kuti, “Chibwenzi changa chikundivutitsa maganizo”, inali pamene mnzanuyo anali kukopana ndi wakale wawo , muyenera kudziwa kuti si chizindikiro cha nkhawa pa chibwenzi ndipo ndi nkhani yomveka bwino.
Nthawi yokhayo yomwe wokondedwa wanu ayenera kukhala pa tsamba lawo lakale lachiwonetsero ndikukuwonetsani momwe muliri wabwino kuposa iwo, osati kuyesanso kukopana nawo. Komabe, ngati nthawi zonse mumaganizira za momwe mungasiyire kudandaula za bwenzi lanu lobera chifukwa mnzake wakuntchito ndi wokongola, mutha kukhala munthu yemwe ali ndi nkhawa paubwenzi.
Nthawi zonse pamene mtsikana wanga sandiyankha kwa theka la tsiku, maganizo anga nthawi yomweyo amangoganiza kuti akufuna kutalikirana ndi ine.
Monga Jamal, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito maupangiri ochepa amomwe mungasiyire kuda nkhawa kuti bwenzi lanu / bwenzi likukunyengani. Chinthu choyamba, komabe, ndikuzindikira ngati muli ndi vuto laubwenzi kapena ngati mukusokoneza nkhawa yoyenera ndi nkhawa yolakwika. Zizindikiro zotsatirazi ziyenera kukuthandizani kudziwa ngati mumapangadi mapiri kuchokera ku tinthu tating'onoting'ono:
1. Kufunsa momwe wokondedwa wako amakukondera
Ngakhale kuti mnzanu wayesetsa kangapo kuti akutsimikizireni kuti amakukondani, mwina simunakhulupirirebe. “Sindinakhulupirire” kungakhale kopanda pake chifukwa nthawi zonse mumayesetsa kupeza njira yoti musiye kukhala ndi chilakolako cha kugonana muubwenzi.
Sampreeti akuti, “Ngakhale kuti munthu ali ndi malingaliro oipa okhudza tsogolo la ubale wake, malingaliro ake amatha kukhala ochulukirapo.” Kufunsa kuti “Kodi umandikonda?” sikuyenera kukhala chinthu cha tsiku ndi tsiku mu ubale wanu. Ngati mnzanuyo akuyankha moseka kuti, “Ayi, ndimakuda”, mukudziwa kuti mudzakhala ndi nkhawa ndi zimenezo kwa masiku awiri otsatira.
2. Nkhani zokhulupirira
A atsikana / anyamata 'usiku sayenera inu m'mphepete mwa mpando wanu, nthawi zonse nkhawa mnzanuyo chinyengo pa inu. Posachedwapa kupsinjika maganizo kungakhudze khungu lanu, zomwe zidzakupangitsani kufunsa ngati ndinu wokongola mokwanira kwa wokondedwa wanu kapena ayi.
Nkhani zokhulupirirana muubwenzi zidzakantha kwambiri. Mukakhala ndi zikhulupiriro zambiri, zilibe kanthu kuti mumakondana bwanji, ubalewo uyenera kulephera. Momwe mungasinthire nkhawa za chibwenzi chanu / bwenzi lanu lomwe likubera pa inu nthawi zonse limakhala m'malingaliro anu, ndikuwonetsetsa kuti mumadandaula kwambiri za ubale wanu.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Nkhawa ya Ubale Watsopano Ndi Chiyani? Zizindikiro 8 Ndi Njira 5 Zothanirana Nazo
3. Kusatetezeka
"Ndili bwino bwino?" "Kodi ndine wokongola mokwanira kwa wokondedwa wanga?" "Kodi mnzanga akuganiza kuti ndine wotopa?" Awa ndi mafunso omwe amavutitsa malingaliro osatetezeka nthawi zonse. Popeza nkhani zodalirika zimachokera ku kusatetezeka, mwinamwake muli nazo zonse. Kudzimva ngati simuli bwino kumakupangitsani kukhulupirira
. Mukayamba kukhulupirira malingaliro odzinyoza otere, sikuti ubale wanu uli pachiwopsezo chokha, komanso thanzi lanu lamalingaliro. Choncho, ngati inu nthawi zonse kuganiza zinthu monga, "Ndikuopa bwenzi langa kundisiya kwa munthu wabwino", inu mwina muyenera ntchito pa nkhani kusatetezeka wanu kukonza ubwenzi.
4. Kupenda zosafunika
Mawu amodzi okha kuchokera kwa mnzanuyo atha kukupangitsani kuti muyambe kukambirana nawo pagulu lanu, ndikufunsa anthu ngati akuganiza kuti mnzanuyo wakukwiyirani. Zopanda vuto "zozizira". mnzako anakutumiza iwe ungakhale ndi iwe nkhawa mpaka mapeto. "Koma chifukwa chiyani adagwiritsa ntchito nthawiyo?
“Mnzangayo anangopita paulendo ndi abwenzi ake ndipo sanathe kundilankhulana kwa tsiku limodzi ndi theka. Panthawiyo, ndinaganiza kuti anali atandinyenga kale ndipo anandisiyira mafoni ndi mauthenga okwana miliyoni imodzi. Pomalizira pake anabwerera kwa ine, anandiuza mmene kulandirira selo kwake kunayambira. Janet anatiuza kuti, kukamba za mmene chizolowezi chake choganizira mopambanitsa chimabweretsa nkhawa.
5. Kusokoneza ubwenzi
Mukatsimikiza kuti simuli bwino mokwanira ndipo kuti ubalewo sukhalitsa, mutha kulephera kuulemekeza kwambiri. M'maganizo mwanu, udzalephera. Mukamangoganiza kuti, "Ubale wanga ukundivutitsa maganizo", mungangoyamba kuchita zinthu zodziwononga nokha , sichoncho? Zolakwika! Kuwononga ubale ndi zochita zopanda pake ndi chinthu chofala pakati pa anthu omwe ali ndi nkhawa ndi ubale.
Sampreeti ananena kuti: “Kulimbana ndi nkhaŵa ya unansi kudzafunikira kudziŵiratu, kuzindikira, ndi kuvomereza zinthu zimene mwina simunachitepo mwachidziwitso,” anatero Sampreeti, pofotokoza zimene zidzafunika kuti muchotse kukayikira za unansi wanu kumene nthaŵi zonse kumabwera m’maganizo mwanu.
Ngati mukulimbana ndi malingaliro ngati "Sindingathe kusiya kudandaula nthawi zonse za ubale wanga", musalole kusatetezeka kwanu ndi kukhumudwa kwanu kuchepetse ubale wabwino. Tiyeni tiwone njira zina zomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti musiye kunena kuti "ubwenzi wanga ukundipanikiza".
Malangizo Akatswiri Oti Musiye Kudetsa Nkhawa Zokhudza Ubwenzi Wanu
Chowonadi ndi chakuti, kukhala ndi nkhawa paubwenzi sikungakhale vuto lanu. Ngati mukuvutika ndi nkhawa, ndizomveka momwe zingakuthandizireninso mbali iyi ya moyo wanu. Popeza mukudziwa momwe zingakhalire zovuta m'magawo ena, mumaopa kulola kuti zitengere ubale wabwino kwambiri.
Ndipamene mungayambe kuganiza zinthu monga "Ndimadandaula nthawi zonse kuti chibwenzi changa chidzandisiya" kutengera zochitika zomwe zili m'mutu mwanu. Palibe amene ayenera kukhala ndi nkhawa zamtundu uliwonse. Zimadya tsiku lanu, zimakupangitsani kuti musakwanitse kuchita zomwe mukufuna kuchita. Pofuna kukuthandizani kuthana ndi nkhawa za ubale, malangizo 8 otsatirawa, ovomerezedwa ndi akatswiri, akuyenera kukuthandizani. Posakhalitsa, mudzakhala mukuyankha mwanthabwala kuti, “Lekani kutengeka ndi ine!”, m’malo moyankha mwamantha kuti “Kodi umandikonda?” masiku awiri aliwonse.
1. Kupititsa patsogolo kulankhulana muubwenzi wanu
Kukonza kulankhulana muubwenzi ndi chinthu chomwe aliyense angapindule nacho. Kukhala ndi zokambirana zopanda chiweruzo komwe mungauze mnzanu zomwe mukuganiza ndikofunikira ngati mukufuna kuti amvetse zomwe zikuchitika ndi inu.
Sampreeti amagawana nzeru zake momwe kulumikizana kungathandizire ubale wanu. "Kutenga mnzanuyo ngati wofanana ndikuyamba ndi kufotokoza momwe tikumvera komanso chifukwa chake timamva choncho kungakhale chiyambi chabwino." Izi zidzathandiza mnzanuyo kumvetsetsa bwino za momwe zinthu zilili ndipo zotsatirazi zikhoza kukhala zochiritsira zokha.
Kulankhulana sikuyenera kukhala kolumikizana nthawi zonse, kudziwana kwina kungakuthandizeninso. Pongodzifunsa nokha chinachake chonga, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndikudandaula za ubale wanga?", Mutha kufika pansi pamaganizo awa, ndi chifukwa chake amayambira poyamba.
2. Yesetsani kuthetsa nkhawa zanu
Aliyense amakhala ndi nkhawa pang'ono. Ena amakhala ndi nkhawa zosazolowereka zomwe zimawapangitsa kufunsa kuti, "N'chifukwa chiyani wandikwiyira?", pamene mnzawo akunena kuti "hei." Njira zodziwika bwino zothanirana ndi nkhawa yanu ndi monga kuchita zinthu mosamala komanso kusamala kwambiri maganizo anu. Dziwani njira zilizonse zomwe zingayambitse nkhawa yanu, kuti muthe kugwira ntchito pa chomwe chimayambitsa nkhawa m'malo mochotsa zizindikiro kudzera mu Nutella yambiri. Gawo loyamba lokhala ndi ubale wabwino ndikugwira ntchito pa nkhawa yanu.
Sampreeti amakhulupirira kuti kupeza chomwe chimayambitsa kupsinjika maganizo kudzakuthandizani mpaka kalekale. “Kudzichitira wekha kungakhale chiyambi chabwino.” Chifukwa cha kusokonezeka maganizo kulikonse ndi mmene khalidwe limakhudzira munthu amakhala ndi maganizo.
“Magwero a lingaliro limeneli mwina linali lachindunji kapena lachindunji.” Nthaŵi zina, likhoza kukhala chifukwa cha zokumana nazo zomvetsa chisoni zimene tinakumana nazo ndi anthu, kapena m’maubwenzi.
M’malo mongoganiza kuti, “Sindingathe kusiya kudera nkhawa za tsogolo la ubwenzi wanga”, yesani kuganizira chimene chinayambitsa nkhawa imeneyi.
3. Osamangokhalira kuchita zinthu zakale
Ndi zomvetsa chisoni ngati mwakhala mukuvutitsidwa ndi kusakhulupirika muubwenzi wanu m'mbuyomu koma simungathe kulola kuti kukhale kofunikira pa ubale wanu wamakono. Mukamaganizira kwambiri zakale zanu komanso momwe mudakhululukidwira, mudzapitiriza kuganiza zinthu monga "Chibwenzi changa/chibwenzi changa chimandivutitsa ndi nkhawa", nthawi iliyonse akamacheza ndi anzanu.
"Kuti apitirizebe kutero, zomwe munthu angayesere ndikukhazikitsa malingaliro onse pa umboni weniweni wochokera ku ubale wanu." Kujambula malingaliro okhudzana ndi ubale wa munthu pogwiritsa ntchito zitsanzo za zomwe zinachitikira ena kungakhale kovulaza kwambiri, "akutero Sampreeti, pazomwe mungachite ngati mukufanizira ubale wanu ndi zakale / ena omwe akuzungulirani.
Kate anatiuza kuti: “Ndikuopa kuti bwenzi langa lindisiya n’kukhala munthu wabwinoko, monga mmene anachitira m’bale wanga woyambayo, sindikudziwa ngati ndimuuze mwamuna amene ndili naye panopa mmene ndilili ndi mantha.
Zikatero, yesani kudziuza kuti zakale sizimalongosola tsogolo lanu, ndipo kulola kuti lifotokoze mkhalidwe wanu wamakono wachimwemwe kuli pafupifupi kulakwa.
4. Dziwani kuti zochita za wokondedwa wanu si zanu kusintha
Nkhani zosalekeza zokhulupirirana zikasokoneza chikondi, zingayambitse ubale woipa womwe mnzawo m'modzi amayamba kulamulira. Musanadziwe, ubalewo umatha ndi kutha kwaukali. Kuti mupewe izi, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti simuyenera kukhala ndi chochita chilichonse ndi zisankho za mnzanu.
Mwa makhalidwe ambiri a ubale wabwino, kudalira wokondedwa wanu popanda kukayika ndi kumene. Ngati mumadandaula nthawi zonse za "Nthawi zonse ndimadandaula kuti chibwenzi changa chidzandisiya", simungapeze nthawi yoyamikira zabwino za ubale wanu.
5. Khalani omasuka pamaso pa okondedwa wanu
Musalole nkhawa yanu kukupangitsani kuganiza kuti nthawi zonse muyenera kukhala wangwiro pamaso pa mnzanu, kuopera kuti angakusiyeni chifukwa cha munthu "wabwino". Tsitsani tsitsi lanu, valani zovala zanu za PJ ndikusiya deodorant m'bafa. Mukakhala inu enieni pamaso pa mnzanu, mudzayamba kumva bwino ndi ubale wanu chifukwa chikondi chamkati chidzawonjezeka.
“Sindinasiye kumangokhalira kuda nkhawa ndi chibwenzi changa, ndipo ndinkaganiza kuti ndiyenera kuchita zinthu zoti ndikondweretse bwenzi langa mobwerezabwereza.” Patapita nthawi, anandifunsa chifukwa chimene nthawi zonse ndimafuna kuchita zambiri ndipo anandiuza kuti ndiyese kukhulupirira kuti azindikonda mosasamala kanthu za mphatso kapena manja amene ankandiwotcha m’thumba, m’pamene ndinayamba kukhulupirira kuti iyeyo amandikonda kwambiri. Ndinkaganiza kuti n’chifukwa chiyani ndinkachita mantha ndi chibwenzi changa,” adatero Jason.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mavuto 25 Ofala Kwambiri Paubwenzi
6. Lekani kudzipenda mopambanitsa
Yakwana nthawi yoti mufufuze zenizeni: nthawi zonse palibe tanthauzo lakuya pazomwe mnzanu akunena. Nthawi zina, "k" imangomveka bwino, "hmm" ndikungogwedeza mutu, ndipo emoji yapakhungu siwopseza mwaukali, ndi mgwirizano waubwenzi. Yesani kukonza zomwe zimayambitsa malingaliro anu opsinjika.
Mwanjira imeneyi, mudzatha kuthana ndi chifukwa chomwe mumakonda kuganiza mopambanitsa. Kuyesera kudzidodometsa m’maganizo mwanu kudzangogwira ntchito kwa nthaŵi yaitali maganizo anu asanadzetse phokoso logontha, kukusiyani osakhoza kulingalira za china chirichonse. Kuyang'ana pa chithunzi chachikulu, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, ndi kubwerera m'mbuyo kungakuthandizeni ngati muli ndi nthawi yolingalira mopambanitsa.
7. Pezani patsamba lomwelo za zolemba, zoyembekeza ndi malire
Kukambirana malire muubwenzi , kusamalira ziyembekezo, ndi kukhala omveka bwino pa zilembo zonse zidzakuthandizani kukhazikitsa mtendere wamumtima. Ngati pali kusatsimikizika pang'ono, simudzayenera kuda nkhawa ndi zomwe zingachitike. Simudzanena kuti "Ndikuda nkhawa ndi tsogolo la ubale wanga" mukamacheza ndi anzanu apamtima chifukwa mudzakhala ndi ziyembekezo zonse.
Sampreeti amagawana nzeru zake pakufunika kokhala patsamba limodzi ndi mnzanu. "Nthawi zina, matumbo amatha kukhala owona. Wokondedwayo akhoza kukhala pa ndege yosiyana ndi yomwe ili. Zomwe zimayembekeza zimawonedwa ngati zosakwaniritsidwa, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri pamoyo wamunthu. Kusatsimikizika kotsimikizika ndi chidwi kumasonyezanso kukhalapo kwa nkhani zomwe sizinathetsedwe. "
Ngati mumadzifunsa nthawi zonse, "Chifukwa chiyani sindingathe kusiya kudandaula za ubale wanga?", Zingakhale chifukwa chakuti mukuyembekezera mochuluka kwambiri.
8. Funsani dokotala za nkhawa zanu
Kulankhula ndi/kapena mankhwala oda nkhawa athandiza anthu mamiliyoni ambiri padziko lonse lapansi. M'masiku ano momwe nkhani zamaganizo zimakambidwa mofala, palibenso kusalana kulikonse komwe kumakhudzana ndi kukaonana ndi dokotala. Ngati muli ndi opaleshoni yochuluka kwambiri, ndiye kuti kukonzanso nokha sikungakuthandizeni monga momwe mungafunire.
"Mukapita kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo, katswiri wodziwa bwino ntchito yake akhoza kukhala ndi zifukwa zingapo. Kuyambira kufunafuna kumvetsetsa vuto mpaka kupeza thandizo pa mavuto aakulu amisala. Mwachidule, ngati tikumva kuti tikufunika katswiri, tikufunika katswiri," akutero Sampreeti, ponena za kufunika kodzilola kupita kukafuna chithandizo. Ngati mukufuna thandizo la akatswiri, gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito la Bonobology lili pafupi.
Tikukhulupirira kuti simudzadandaula ndikudzifunsa nokha, "Kodi ndingasiye bwanji kudandaula za ubale wanga?", Mukatsatira malangizo awa. Kulimbana ndi nkhawa sikophweka. Koma zikayamba kukhudza zochitika zenizeni monga ubale wanu, simungathe kuzinyalanyaza. Kugonjetsa nkhawa za ubale kudzakuthandizani kukhala ndi ubale wachikondi. Mutha kupeza kuti zidalipo nthawi zonse komanso kuti mudatanganidwa kwambiri kuganiza kuti "ubwenzi wanga ukundivutitsa" kuti muyamikire mgwirizano womwe muli nawo ndi wokongola wanu!
Kodi Kuda Nkhawa kwa Mameseji Ndi Chiyani Ndipo Mungabwezeretse Bwanji?
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
