Ubale Wopanda Zolemba: Kodi Ubale Wopanda Zolemba Umagwira Ntchito?

Kodi sinali nthawi yophweka kuti ganizo lopanda zilembo lisanalowe m'mawu athu? Mumakumana ndi munthu. Mukagwidwa ndi chithumwa chawo, mumayamba chibwenzi. Pamapeto pake, mumayamba kukondana ndipo ubwenziwo umakhala wachibadwa. Koma kupitirira wakuda ndi woyera wa chikhalidwe chibwenzi chikhalidwe, pali lonse imvi zone. Ndipo ndipamene timakumana ndi anzathu omwe alibe zilembo.

Musamayembekezere kuti zikhala bwino chifukwa ubale umabwera ndi chizindikiro cha 'no label'. Mawu akuti 'no obligations, no attachment' angamveke ngati mwagunda mgodi wagolide. Komabe, ubale wopanda zilembo ukhoza kukhala wovuta kwambiri chifukwa chosamveka bwino. Kuyembekezera zabwino za mnzanu popanda kudzipereka sikungagwirizane ndi kalembedwe ka zibwenzi za aliyense.

Ndipo funso lalikulu ndi lakuti - kodi maubwenzi opanda zilembo amagwiradi ntchito? Kodi njira yoyenera yochitira izi ndi iti? Tikukubweretserani mayankho onse ndi chidziwitso kuchokera kwa mphunzitsi wovomerezeka padziko lonse wa maubwenzi ndi ubwenzi Shivanya Yogmayaa (wovomerezeka padziko lonse lapansi mu njira zochiritsira za EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT), yemwe ndi katswiri pa njira zosiyanasiyana zolangizira mabanja.

Kodi Ubale Wopanda Label Ndi Chiyani?

Kuti mumvetse lingaliro la ubale wopanda zilembo, choyamba muyenera kumvetsetsa tanthauzo la chizindikiro muubwenzi. Ndiloleni ndidule nthano nthawi yomweyo - kulemba momwe mulili sikutanthauza kupereka chizindikiro cha kudzipereka. Munganene kuti muli pachibwenzi chokha koma osati muubwenzi. Umenewo ndi ukwati wa m'modzi yekha, chizindikiro china. Tagawa zilembo zaubwenzi m'magulu awiri: zilembo zodzipereka ndi zosadzipereka. Ndiloleni ndifotokoze:

• Sakani 1: Zolemba zokhazikika pakudzipereka zimatanthawuza kufotokozera ubalewo ndikubwereketsa kukhazikika komanso kudzipereka. Tengani chitsanzo cha Elena ndi Dan. Zinthu zinali kuyenda bwino kwa iwo, kupatulapo kugunda pang'ono. Dan amakana mwadala kukambirana kuti "chibwenzichi chikupita kuti".

Atachita zimenezi kwa miyezi inayi, Elena anafunika kumuuza kuti: “Ndimakukonda, koma kukhala wokhulupirika pamene si nkhani ya boma sikundiyendera bwino.

Zolemba za ubale pansi pa gulu ili: Chibwenzi, chibwenzi, mnzanu, chibwenzi, mwamuna kapena mkazi

• Sakani 2: Zolemba zosagwirizana zimaphatikiza kufotokozera ubale kotero kuti palibe kudzipereka komwe kumakhudzidwa. Mwachitsanzo, Lucy, yemwe anali atangotuluka kumene pachibwenzi kwanthaŵi yaitali, anaona kuti lingaliro lokhala m’chibwenzi lina linali lolemetsa kwambiri. Tsiku lina anakumana ndi Ryan ku laibulale. Anayamba kuyankhula ndipo adazindikira kuti akufuna zomwezo - kungogonana, osalumikizana. Ndipo pamene dongosololi linawakomera onse aŵiriwo, anasankha kukhala ogwirizana

Zolemba za ubale zomwe zili m'gulu ili: Mabwenzi okhala ndi maubwino , NSA, mgwirizano wosakhala wa monogamy, polyamory, chibwenzi chosakhazikika, kapena china chake chovuta

Ndikukhulupirira kuti mutha kuzindikira kuchokera mu nthano ziwirizi kuti ndizothekanso kutchula zomwe sizinachitike. Pali zizindikiro za ubale wachikhalidwe ndiyeno pamabwera kulumikizana kotseguka kwa anthu. Tsopano, pamene m'modzi kapena onse awiri akuwona kuti sakufuna kuyika momwe alili pagulu lililonse la maubwenzi awa, mumatcha ubale wopanda zilembo.

Pofotokoza izi, Shivanya akugawana malingaliro atsopano, "Maubwenzi opanda chizindikiro ndi maubwenzi osazolowereka omwe anthu samawavomereza chifukwa cha zopinga zingapo monga kusiyana kwakukulu kwa zaka, kapena ubale pakati pa mapasa kapena okondana, omwe sanganene chifukwa chakuti ali kale pabanja ndi anthu ena."

“Siziyenera kukhala zogonana nthaŵi zonse. Maubwenzi oterowo amakhala apadera kwambiri, ololera, opanda malire, ovomereza, ndiponso auzimu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zitsanzo 10 za Chikondi Chopanda Chiletso

Kodi Ndikofunikira Kulemba Ubale?

Ayi, sikofunikira kwenikweni kukhala ndi dzina muubwenzi. Koma ndi bwino kufotokoza mtundu wa ubale womwe mukufuna kukhala nawo ndi munthuyu kuyambira pachiyambi. Ndipotu, kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti dzina laubwenzi limakhudza momwe okwatirana amachitirana. Ubwenzi wokhala ndi mayina monga kugonana, kungokhala ndi chibwenzi, kapena chibwenzi umakhudza kusonyeza chikondi ndi kudzipereka pagulu nthawi zina.

Komabe, ngati anthu awiri angakwanitse kuyenda m'mikhalidwe yawo popanda zizindikiro, ndi bwino kwa iwo. Komabe, kwa ambiri, kusadziwa tanthauzo lake kwa mnzawo, kaya ndi wapadera kapena kuonana ndi anthu ena, kapena ngati ubalewo uli ndi tsogolo labwino kungakhale kovuta kwambiri. Chifukwa chake, ngati simukuvomereza kupatsa chibwenzi/mtsikana zabwino popanda kudzipereka, tikukulangizani kuti mukambirane.

Shivanya anati: "Mwachizoloŵezi, timakonda kutchula maubwenzi pansi pa chikakamizo cha chikhalidwe cha anthu. Koma pa maubwenzi osagwirizana, okwatirana angasankhe kuti asatchule. izo.”

Kodi Mungatani Ndi Ubale Wa No-Label?

Kodi tangodzaza mutu wanu ndi malingaliro ndi malingaliro ochulukirapo? Ndiye ndi nthawi yoti musinthe kuchokera ku malingaliro kupita ku upangiri wogwirika wa momwe mungathanirane ndi ubale wopanda chizindikiro. Kodi ndinu watsopano kuderali la zibwenzi? "Ndikuganiza kuti tili pachibwenzi chokha koma osati pachibwenzi. Ndipo sindikutsimikiza kuti ndidzakhala wokhulupirika pamene sizovomerezeka. - Kodi izi ndi zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo mwanu?

Chabwino, tumizani nkhawa zanu patchuthi chachitali chifukwa tili ndi yankho loyenera pazochitika zanu. Ngati mukukayika zopatsa bwenzi / chibwenzi zabwino popanda kudzipereka kapena muyenera kutsimikiza kuti nonse muli patsamba lomwelo pankhani yolumikizana popanda zingwe, nazi njira 7 zothanirana ndi maubwenzi opanda zilembo:

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Maphunziro 11 Amene Anthu Aphunzira Kuchokera ku Ubale Wolephera

1.    Kodi mwakwera kuti mulowe mu ubale wopanda zilembo?

Palibe chizindikiro kapena ayi, kudziwa zomwe mtima wanu umafuna ndikofunikira pamaubwenzi onse. Dzifunseni nokha, "Kodi muli ndi gawo limodzi mwa magawo zana pa izi?" Muyenera kuchiza ku zosatetezeka zomwe mwakhala mukuzilimbikitsa kwa nthawi yayitali ndikukhala mumkhalidwe wokhazikika wamalingaliro kuti mugwirizane ndi munthu wopanda zilembo zaubwenzi. Osapereka kuwombera chifukwa zikumveka bwino kapena mnzanu akufuna.

Ngakhale mutatsimikiza kuti mukuchita zinthu zokhwima mwa kusalowa mu ubale wabwino, pokhapokha ngati ndi zomwe mukufunadi, zitha kutha. Mnzanga Mila amakonda kudalirana ndi okondedwa ake. Pamene anayamba chibwenzi ndi mwamuna wachikulire , ubale wopanda zilembo unali wovuta chifukwa sakanatha kuswa chizolowezi chake ndipo mwamunayo sanamuyankhe bwino.

2. Sungani zoyembekeza zanu ndi nsanje poyang'anira

Umu ndi momwe mungathanirane ndi ubale wopanda zilembo 101: palibe malo oyembekezera mopitilira muyeso kapena kukhala ndi zinthu za mnzanu. Simunganene kuti bwenzi / chibwenzi chipindula popanda kudzipereka kwa munthu yemwe mumamuwona mwachisawawa kamodzi kapena kawiri pamwezi. Iwo mwina sangabwere ndi malo anu ndi ayisikilimu chifukwa ndinu achisoni kapena kutenga mafoni anu onse ngakhale ali otanganidwa bwanji.

Ndipo mukuyenera kukhala bwino ndi izi chifukwa ndi zomwe mwalembetsa. Malingana ndi Shivanya, "Maubwenzi ena osalembedwa akhoza kukhala ndi katundu wawo ndi kusatetezeka, komanso kusakhutira ndi zomwe zimayambitsa nsanje. Muyenera kugwirizana ndi mfundo yakuti ngati mwasankha kukhala paubwenzi wotero ngakhale kuti pali zovuta zonse, muyenera kuvomereza mbali inayo.

"Nthawi zina mungafunike kuuza mnzanuyo za zomwe mwakumana nazo popanda kuchita mopitirira muyeso. Kusadzidalira ndi nsanje zingachokerenso ku zomwe munthu winayo akukupangitsani kumva. Kodi pali chitsimikizo chokwanira komanso kulankhulana bwino? Kapena, kodi mumamva kuti simukuoneka, simukumvedwa, simukunyalanyazidwa? Kenako padzakhala kusadzidalira muubwenzi ."

"Kuti muzindikire, vomerezani zenizeni. Koma maubwenzi ena omwe sali olembedwa amakhala oyera kwambiri moti palibe nsanje iliyonse. Amadziwa kuti chikondi chawo n'chokongola kwambiri kotero kuti ngakhale ubale wa karmic sudzakhala ndi chisonkhezero chilichonse.

3. Yesetsani kukana kutengeka maganizo kwambiri 

Ndikhulupirireni, sitili pano kuti tikulepheretseni kupeza chikondi ndi chimwemwe. Tikungokuyang'anirani. Ubwenzi wopanda zilembo ukhoza kusokonekera kwambiri munthu mmodzi akayamba kukhala ndi malingaliro koma winayo sakuyamba. Kupatula apo, sitili a Mr. Spock, ozizira komanso akutali. Mukakumana ndi vuto la ' wokonda mbali imodzi ' ndipo mnzanu wanu akuonetsa zochita zawo zachikondi pamaso panu, kungakhale malo osangalatsa okhalamo.

Shivanya amavomerezana nafe pa izi, "Zowonadi, zidzayambitsa zowawa zambiri komanso nkhondo yosatha mkati ndi kunja komanso.

"Kenako pamakhala nkhani yochititsa mantha mpaka atapeza mtendere ndi zomwe zili m'moyo wawo. Zingamupangitsenso munthu kuvutika maganizo. Zikatero, angafunike chithandizo ndi kufufuzidwa." Ngati ndi zomwe mukuchita panopa ndipo mukufuna thandizo, alangizi aluso komanso odziwa bwino ntchito omwe ali m'gulu la akatswiri a Bonobology ali pano kuti akuthandizeni.

4. Malire ndi ofunikira mu ubale wopanda zilembo

Pokhala muubwenzi wopanda zolemba, muyenera kuphunzira kugawa moyo wanu komanso malo a mnzanu mundandanda yanu. Kumbukirani, ubalewu suyimira kukhalapo kwanu konse, koma gawo laling'ono la izo. Choncho, perekani mtundu wa kufunikira koyenera. Ndipo kukhazikitsa malire omveka bwino ndi sitepe yoyamba yoyendetsera bwino. Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe mungawongolere musanakwerenso:

• Ndi nthawi yochuluka bwanji yomwe mukufuna kupatulira wina ndi mnzake
• Kodi mukufuna kukumana ndi ndani
• Ndi liti pamene muzapezeka kuti mukuyimbira foni
• Kodi mungadziwitse bwanji wina ndi mnzake?
• Muyima pati pa ubwenzi wapamtima
• Kodi zosokoneza ndi zotani kwa inu

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malire 10 Oyenera Kutsatira Paubwenzi Wabwino

Malinga ndi wogwiritsa ntchito Reddit , maubwenzi opanda ma label ndi gawo la mabomba okwirira, "Kulankhulana ndikofunikira kwambiri paubwenzi wabwino. Zimatanthauza kuti mukudziwa kuti muli pa tsamba limodzi komanso komwe malire ali. Popanda kukambirana chilichonse mwa izi, simukudziwa komwe mabomba okwirira ali. Ine ndine wa poly. Ndili bwino kwambiri ndi anzanga omwe akugonana ndi anthu ena. Koma ndikufunika kudziwa malamulo omwe takambirana komanso komwe ndili."

Shivanya akupereka lingaliro lakuti, “Muyenera kukhazikitsa mtendere ndi chimene unansi umenewu uliri ndi chimene suli. Ndiponso, muyenera kuvomereza zimene ndi zochuluka zimene mungayembekezere kuchokera kwa wina ndi mnzake.

5. Musati muyembekezere tsogolo labwino

Mwachizolowezi, timakonzekera tsogolo lathu ndi mnzathu amene tikudziwa kuti akufuna zinthu zomwezo monga ife. Amakwaniritsa maudindo onse a nthawi zonse paubwenzi , amakuvomerezani ngati mnzawo wachikondi pagulu ndipo nonse muli ndi maloto ofanana amtsogolo. Koma ngati momwe mulili panopa simunafotokozedwe bwino, mungawalole bwanji kuti achite nawo gawo lalikulu pa tsogolo lanu?

Ndipo sitikunena za ukwati wokha pano. Zitha kukhala kuwafunsa kuti akhale tsiku lanu laukwati Disembala wotsatira kapena kukonzekera kusamukira limodzi m'zaka zingapo. Muyenera kugwira maloto anu akumaloto mpaka dongosolo lawo la zochita likuwoneka pafupi ndi lanu. Kupereka kapena kuyembekezera zabwino za chibwenzi kapena bwenzi popanda kudzipereka si gawo laubwenzi wopanda zilembo.

6. Gwiritsitsani pansi ndi kukhala payekha

Anthu amayamba chibwenzi ndi anthu osadziwa zambiri chifukwa amabweretsa lonjezo la malo ambiri komanso ufulu. Onetsetsani kuti mnzanuyo akulemekeza kwambiri zimenezo. Monga ubale wina uliwonse, uwu nawonso uyenera kukhala mgwirizano pakati pa anthu awiri ofanana. Nenani nkhawa zanu, ndipo lankhulani motsutsana ndi miyambo ya ubale wanu yomwe imakupangitsani kukhala osasangalala.

Ngati simuli bwino kukhala okhulupirika pomwe sizovomerezeka, fotokozani momveka bwino zomwe mukufuna. Nthaŵi ina ndinali mumkhalidwe wofananawo. Ndinkakonda kucheza ndi munthu uyu ndipo tidapitako masiku angapo ndi chakudya chabwino komanso kucheza bwino. Koma nthawi imeneyo, ndinakhumudwa kwambiri ndikaganizira zoti tigonane. Popeza sanali bwino ndi chiganizo cha platonic, tinathetsa zinthu pamapeto pake, ngakhale zili bwino.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zinthu 13 Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Ubale wa NSA (No-Strings-Attached)

7.  Dziwani nthawi yochoka paubwenzi wopanda zilembo

Zimenezi zikutifikitsa ku dongosolo lathu lomaliza la ntchito, muyenera kuzindikira njira yanu yotulukira. Mwina, mutalowa mu mgwirizanowu, munali ndi kudana kwambiri ndi zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za ubale. Mutakhala pachibwenzi kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, mwazindikira kuti mukufuna 'zambiri' - kukhazikika kwambiri, chikondi chochulukirapo, kudzipereka kwambiri , zonse.

Mwaimirira pamphambano ya mphanda ndi misewu iwiri kutsogolo kwanu yopita mbali zosiyanasiyana. Chiwongolero chidakali m'manja mwanu ndipo mumatha kusankha njira yomwe mungasankhe. Kodi mukufuna kuti akamufunsire yoyenera chikondi deti kwa mnzanuyo ndi kuona ngati nawonso chidwi kutenga zinthu zina mlingo? Kapena mukufuna kutenga mvula ndikuyembekeza zabwinoko mtsogolo mwanu? Chosankha ndi chanu.

Ndiye, tingayembekezere kuti nkhaniyi idakuthandizani momwe mungayendere ubale wopanda zilembo ngati pro? Mumadziwa zoyeserera ndi zabwino ndi zoyipa zokhala opanda chizindikiro muubwenzi. Tikukhulupirira, kuyambira pano kupita mtsogolo, muchita zomwe zili zabwino kwa inu. Pamapeto pake, ndikofunikira kuti mukhale osangalala, muzimva kukondedwa komanso kulemekezedwa muubwenzi, komanso kuti musataye mtima pakuchita izi. Ngati ubale wopanda zilembo ukukupatsani izi, pitirirani. Dulani mwendo!

Ibibazo

Mitundu 4 Yaokonda Mizimu Ndi Zizindikiro Zolumikizana Zakuya

Mitundu 8 Yaubwenzi Paubwenzi

Ubale Wopanda Mmodzi: Tanthauzo, Mitundu, Ubwino

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.

Onani Ndondomeko Yathu Yolembera

Kumanani ndi Bungwe Lathu Lowunika

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