Ubwino ndi kufunika kwa ukwati akhala akukangana kwambiri m’zaka makumi angapo zapitazi. Kuyambira kulitaya kukhala chizoloŵezi chakale kufika ku kuda nkhaŵa ndi kukwera kwa chiŵerengero cha zisudzulo, osuliza ali ndi zifukwa zambiri zokayikira cholinga cha ukwati lerolino. Komabe, ngati muli ndi zifukwa zomveka zokwatirira ukwati, ungakhale unansi wokhutiritsa ndi wokhutiritsa kwambiri umene mungaulimbikitse.
Choncho, musananene kuti 'Ndichita' - kapena musanayankhe funso kapena kunena kuti inde - khalani ndi kamphindi kuti muganizire zifukwa zomwe mwalowa m'banja.
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M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Christy anamva kuti wapeza 'amene' atakumana ndi Richard. Awiriwo adakondana, ndipo awiriwo adasintha kuchoka pachibwenzi mpaka kukhala pachibwenzi mwamsanga. Nthawi zonse ankaona ngati ali limodzi. Atakhala limodzi kwa zaka zoposa zisanu, tsopano ali ndi maganizo akuti 'zikupita kuti?' funso likuwayang'ana m'maso.
Christy anati: “Ndimaopa kuti Richard akuyenda atanyamula mphete m’thumba mwake ndipo nthawi zonse angafunse funsoli.
Iye sakanatha kusankha ngati pali zifukwa zokwanira zokwatirirana pamene zomwe anali nazo kale zinkaoneka ngati zangwiro. Choncho, awiriwa anapempha uphungu asanakwatirane kuti asankhe ngati kumanga ukwati kungakhale chisankho choyenera kwa iwo kapena ayi.
Chifukwa cha upangiri, adafotokozera zifukwa 10 zolowera m'banja zomwe zidawathandiza kuti asankhepo:
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1. Ndi chikondwerero cha chikondi chanu
Kukhala m'chikondi kwakhalabe chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zokwatilana. Koma kusiyana kumeneku kulinso koona. Cholinga cha ukwati masiku ano - komanso nthawi zonse - ndikukondwerera chikondi chanu kwa wina ndi mnzake. Ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zachikondi zokwatilana ndipo anthu 9 mwa 10 aku America amaona chikondi ngati chifukwa chachikulu chokwatilana malinga ndi kafukufukuyu.
Kukhala ndi anzanu apamtima ndi achibale anu akuona chikondwerero cha chikondichi, ndikusaina zikalata zomwe zimakulumikizani mwalamulo, kumapangitsa kuti ubale wanu ukhale wolimba. Ichi ndi chinthu chomwe sichingabwerezedwenso mukakhala limodzi.
2. Lonjezo la moyo wautali, wachimwemwe
Ayi, sitikukupatsani zifukwa za m'Baibulo za ukwati pamene tikunena kuti ukwati umawonjezera chimwemwe ndi moyo wautali. Kafukufuku wasonyeza kuti anthu okwatirana amakhala ndi moyo wosangalala komanso wautali kuposa omwe sanakwatiranepo, kapena omwe anasudzulana kapena omwe ndi amasiye.
Mwachitsanzo, kafukufuku wa Harvard adapeza kuti anthu okwatirana amakhala ndi moyo wathanzi, amadya bwino, sachita zoopsa zambiri, amafunafuna chithandizo chamankhwala nthawi zonse, zomwe pamapeto pake zimawongolera thanzi lawo komanso moyo wawo wautali poyerekeza ndi anzawo osakwatira.
Ngakhale kuti ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomveka zokwatirira, ndithudi, si maukwati onse omwe amapangidwa mofanana. Ndi banja losangalala lokha limene lingakupatseni thanzi ndi chimwemwe. N’chifukwa chake zifukwa zokhalira m’banja zimakhala ndi mbali yofunika kwambiri yodziwira tsogolo la ulendo wanu wa m’banja.
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3. Zimakupangitsani kukhala otetezeka kwambiri
Titafunsa Jillian funso lakuti, 'N'chifukwa chiyani ukufuna kukwatira?' anali ndi yankho limodzi lomveka bwino loti atipatse. Jillian anatiuza kuti: “Kumva mawu akuti ‘m’matenda ndi thanzi’, ‘zabwino kapena zoipa’, ‘mpaka imfa itatilekanitsa’ pa guwa la nsembe, kumapangitsa kukhala kwakukulu kuposa kungonena za zifukwa zachipembedzo za ukwati.
Ndipo izi zimapangitsa kukhala chimodzi mwa zifukwa 10 zokwatira. Mumadziwa kuti kaya mudwale bwanji, mudzakhala ndi bwenzi limene lidzakukondani ndi kukusamalirani mosasamala kanthu za mkhalidwewo. Kapena kuti, pamene ubale wanu ukugunda madzi amavuto, inu nonse mudzayesetsa pang'ono kuthetsa nkhani zanu ndi kupanga zinthu ntchito.
4. Mumalimbitsa chikhulupiriro chanu ndi kudzipereka kwanu
Chikondi chachikondi chimapangidwa ndi zigawo zinayi zofunika kwambiri - kukopa, chidwi, kukhulupirirana, ndi kudzipereka. Popanda kukhulupirirana ndi kudzipereka, kukopa ndi chidwi mwa wina ndi mzake sizingapitirire. Amazimiririka ndi nthawi, pang'onopang'ono koma motsimikizika. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukufuna kudzisunga nokha, ukwati ukhoza kukuchitirani ntchito.
Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zabwino zokhalira ndi ukwati ndichakuti chimalimbitsa kudalirana kwanu ndi kudzipereka kwanu kwa wina ndi mnzake komanso ubale wanu. Mukamva kuti muli omangika ndi munthu winayo, mumamva kufunika kwakukulu kosonyeza chikondi chanu kwa iye. Zimenezi zimathandiza kuti pakhale mwayi woti okwatirana azikhala limodzi kwa moyo wawo wonse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2xvXmWZXbM
5. Muli ndi bwenzi moyo wanu wonse
Ngati mukuyang'ana zifukwa 10 zokwatira, ichi chiyenera kukhala chimodzi mwa otsogolera. Ukwati umakupatsani bwenzi lomwe mutha kugawana naye mbali iliyonse ndi tsatanetsatane wa moyo wanu - ngakhale wamkulu kapena waung'ono, woyipa kapena wokongola. Iwo akuwonani inu mukuchita bwino ndipo iwo nthawizonse adzakhala nanu ndi inu nthawi zonse zovuta zanu. M’banja labwino mulibe masiku osungulumwa!
Kuyambira kugawana zovuta za ntchito, zachuma, ndi maubwenzi mpaka kukambirana mavuto anu ndi kukonza mapulani ochira, ukwati umakupatsani bwenzi la moyo wanu wonse, bwenzi lomwe lidzakhala m'gulu lanu nthawi zonse. Kotero, ngakhale simukukhutitsidwa kwathunthu kapena mu chikondi, ichi chikhoza kukhala chimodzi mwa zifukwa zothandiza kukwatira. Dziwani kuti banja labwino silimangokhudza chikondi komanso kupeza bwenzi mwa okondedwa.
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6. Mulingo watsopano waubwenzi
Chifukwa china chabwino cha ukwati ndichakuti umalimbikitsa ubale wapamtima womwe sungakhale wofanana ndi wina uliwonse muubwenzi wina uliwonse. Simumangoonana pamlingo wapamwamba komanso wotsika kwambiri komanso mumakhala gawo la maulendo a wina ndi mnzake. Zimenezi zimalimbitsa ubale wanu kuposa china chilichonse.
Kungoyang’ana nkhope ya mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu n’kokwanira kukuuzani zimene zili m’maganizo mwawo. Mutha kudziwa kuti adakhala ndi tsiku loyipa kuntchito ngati atayamba kumwa mowa atafika kunyumba. Kapena kuti ali ndi chidwi chofuna kuchitapo kanthu ngati akukuyang'anani mwanjira inayake. Ubwenzi umenewo ndi wapadera kwambiri moti munthu safuna ngakhale zifukwa 10 zoti akwatire.
Chilankhulo chosalankhulachi ndi chapadera kwa maanja omwe akhala limodzi kwa nthawi yayitali, ndipo ukwati umakupatsani zomwezo.
7. Zimapanga nzeru zachuma
Ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mukukhala limodzi ndipo mukuganizira zomanga mfundo kapena ayi, muyenera kuganizira za kukhazikika kwachuma. Mwina banja likuwoneka ngati vuto lalikulu kwa inu nonse pakali pano ndipo mukuda nkhawa kuti kudzipereka kotereku kungapangitse kuti ubale wanu ukhale wovuta. Koma chitetezo chazachuma ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa 10 zopezera banja ndipo zili ndi mapindu omwe simungakane.
Ndalama zomwe okwatirana onse amapeza zingapangitse kuti muyenerere kulandira ngongole zanyumba, ziwongola dzanja, chiwongola dzanja pa inshuwaransi yamagalimoto ndi nyumba. Simungangogawana nawo phindu la Social Security komanso kupeza mwayi wopeza inshuwaransi yabwino pamitengo yotsika mtengo. Kuphatikiza apo, mutha kusunga misonkho ndikusinthira zosankha zanu zopuma pantchito.
Kungoti mukuganizira zifukwa zomveka zokwatirira sizikutanthauza kuti ubale wanu ndi wamalonda kapena zifukwa zanu zokwatirirana sizolondola ngati anthu awiri akuchita izi chifukwa cha chikondi chokha. Mukufuna kuthetsa mavuto anu azachuma ? Ndiye ganizirani izi chifukwa chimodzi choyenera chokwatirirana mwalamulo.
8. Mutha kukhala ndi moyo wotetezeka
Atafunsidwa kuti, ‘N’chifukwa chiyani ukufuna kukwatiwa?’, yankho la Jeff linatichititsa kuganiza. Iye anatiuza kuti: “Mwakulola kuti muchepetse ndalama zimene mumawononga n’kusunga bwino ndalama zimene mumasunga, ukwati umakuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi moyo wotetezeka ndi munthu wina wofunika kwambiri.” Mosakayikira ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomveka zokhalira m’banja.
M'bukuli, Phoenix Rising: The Rise and Fall of the American Republic, a Donald G Lett alemba kuti okwatirana ambiri ali ndi ndalama pafupifupi $410,000 panthawi yopuma pantchito, poyerekeza ndi $ 154,000 ngati asudzulana ndi $ 167,000 kwa omwe sanakwatirane. Ndipo kotero zidadziwika kwa ife kuti Jeff ndi wolondola.
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9. Ana anu amakulira m’malo okhazikika
Ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi ana nthawi ina, kukwatira kungawapatse malo abwino oti akulere m'nyumba. Pali kafukufuku wambiri komanso deta yosonyeza kuti ana obadwira ndi kukulira m'nyumba yokhala ndi makolo onse awiri amakhala ndi mwayi waukulu wokulira ndikukhala akuluakulu okhazikika. Kafukufuku amene walembedwa m'nkhaniyi akusonyeza kuti mwana m'banja lokhazikika la kholo limodzi amachita zinthu zoipa kuposa mwana wa banja lokwatirana.

Komanso, ana omwe ali ndi makolo osakwatira amakumana ndi mavuto ambiri okhala komanso kusokonezeka. Mwachitsanzo, kholo kukwatira wina mtsogolo komanso kusiyana kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ndi ana opeza kapena ana omwe amakhala ndi achibale awo ngati kholo silingathe kuwasamalira chifukwa cha zinthu zina kungayambitse mavuto ambiri okhudza khalidwe ndi malingaliro.
10. Moyo wabwino, wokhutiritsa wogonana
Mosiyana ndi zomwe chikhalidwe cha pop ndi nthano zopeka zingatipangitse kuti tizikhulupirira, ukwati umalimbikitsa moyo wabwino wogonana. Osati kokha chifukwa chakuti muli ndi mwayi wogonana mosadziletsa. Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zaukwati n’chakuti chimathandiza kuti kugonana kwanu kukhale kwabwino kwambiri.
Kugonana sikungokhala kwapamtima komanso kosangalatsa komanso kumakhala ndi nthawi zonse padziko lapansi kuti mukhale ndi zibwenzi zakuya. Mumadziwana ndi okondedwa wanu pazachiwerewere zomwe zimangokhalira kugwedezeka, kuyimirira usiku umodzi, kapena maubwenzi okhazikika sangagwirizane.
Malingana ngati zifukwa zanu zaukwati sizikukonza zovuta za ubale wanu, kuopa kukhala nokha, kukakamizidwa ndi anthu am'banja, kapena kupeza chitetezo chazachuma, palibe chifukwa chodera nkhawa ngati kudzakhala njira yoyenera kwa inu kapena ayi. Ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mumakondanadi ndipo mukufuna kumanga moyo pamodzi, ukwati ungakhale maziko abwino kwambiri a moyo wanu wachimwemwe mpaka kalekale. Ndi mndandanda wazifukwa zomveka zokwatirira, tikukhulupirira kuti mutha kutenga sitepe yoyamba ya moyo wanu wabanja lero.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.