Indlela I-Borderline Personality Disorder ebuthinta ngayo ubudlelwano

I-borderline personality disorder kanye nobudlelwano akuhambisani ngempela, ukusho okungenani. Ukubonakaliswa kothando kwe-saccharine esikubona ezikrinini ezinkulu akusibonisi ngempela inguquko eyinkimbinkimbi engase ithathe lapho ukugula ngengqondo ziphonswa kungxubevange. Ezimweni ezinjalo, ukwazi ukuthi yini okulindelwe kungaba usizo. 

Ukuthanda umuntu onenkinga yobuntu emngceleni kuyisimo esiyinkimbinkimbi, futhi isivunguvungu semizwa asikwazi ukubekwa ngamagama. Cabanga ukuphusha nokudonsa kwezilinganiso ezinkulu, ubuthi, ubutha, ukuthatheka, ukuthatheka, uzwela, nokwehla kwenani - konke ngeviki.

Ingabe kukhona ukuzola ngaphambi kwesiphepho? Isiphepho singaba sibi kangakanani? Futhi uma isifikile, yini okudingeka uyenze ukuze uzulazule emanzini anamatshe? Ngosizo lwe-psychotherapist UDkt. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), onguchwepheshe kwezokwelulekwa ngobudlelwano kanye ne-Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, ake sibheke konke okudingeka sikwazi ngomthelela we-borderline personality disorder ebudlelwaneni.

Kuyini I-Borderline Personality Disorder Futhi Yiziphi Izimpawu? 

Ngaphambi kokuthi singene emhlabeni we-BPD nobudlelwano, kubalulekile ukuthi sibhekisise kahle ukuthi iyini. Njengoba futhi ingenye ye ngokuvamile axilongwanga kahle izimo zempilo yengqondo, ukufika kulesi sihloko ngemva kokuzihlola kungaba yingozi.

Ngokuvumelana ne Ezempilo, i-BPD iyisifo sengqondo esibonisa ukushintsha kwemizwa kungazelelwe kanye nesimo esishubile sokushiywa yingqondo, kanye nokuziphatha okungalindelekile. Ezinye izimpawu zihlanganisa:

• I-lability yemizwa eyedlulele
• Isithombe somuntu siqu esingazinzile
• Ukwenziwa ngendlela eyiyo kanye nokwehliswa kwamanani okulandelayo kobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu 
• Imizwa yokulahlwa/i-paranoia yokushiywa ngemuva
• Ukuziphatha okungalindelekile kokuthatha ingozi 
• Ukuziphatha kokuzibulala 
• Ukushintshashintsha kwemizwa kaningi okuhlala noma kuphi ukusuka emahoreni ambalwa kuya ezinsukwini ezimbalwa
• Ukuzizwa ungento yalutho
• I-Disociation, umuzwa wokuhlukaniswa komuntu kanye nomuzwa wokuhlukanisiwe nomzimba wakho

“Abantu abane-BPD bazizwa bevaleleke phakathi kobuntu babo,” kusho UDkt Bhonsle. “Abaqondi ukuthi ubuntu babo bubangelwa kakhulu izimo ezithile, abakwazi ukuhlela kabusha indlela abacabanga ngayo. 

“Abantu baba nalesi sifo somqondo ngoba mhlawumbe bake bahlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo noma ngokocansi besebancane, kwesinye isikhathi kuyenzeka futhi uma uhlala nomzali onaso. 

“Izofuzo nazo zineqhaza, kokunye, indawo ezungezile idlala indima enkulu.Lesi simo siphinde sifaniswe ngokuziphatha.Lokho kungase kungabangeli ukuphazamiseka kobuntu bomda, kodwa ukuziphatha kuyaye kuphindaphindwe. 

Futhi ingena enkingeni yobuntu obuzalwa nayo, okungenzeka ukuthi ilindele ukubonakala. Unjani wena ukugula kwengqondo okubonakala kumlingani wakho kungase kuhlobene kakhulu nendlela ulaka lukamama noma lukababa wakho olubonakala ngayo ezimweni ezifanayo. Ukuziphatha kwethu kuwumphumela wazo zonke izinto esizicoshile,” kuphetha yena. 

Kuyisifo sengqondo esingatholakali kahle futhi sihlushwa yizinganekwane kangangokuthi umuntu ovamile akavamile ukuba nombono wokuthi kuyini. Ake sibheke i-borderline personality disorder kanye nobudlelwano ukuze sithole ukuthi lesi sifo sinamthelela muni empilweni yomuntu.

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I-Borderline Personality Disorder Nobudlelwane: Isifinyezo Sendlela I-BPD Ebuthinta Ngayo Ubudlelwano

"Abantu abane-borderline personality disorder ngokuvamile bazwela kakhulu. Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, bangakwazi futhi ukuzilimaza noma ukuzibulala. Bangase bazizwe bengelutho, futhi kulula kakhulu kubo ukuzwa ukuthi akekho obakhathalelayo. 

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi: “Ngokuvamile bashiya umkhondo wobudlelwane obuningi obungazinzile, njengoba intukuthelo yabo inobudlova obudlulele futhi ngokuzumayo futhi bachitha isikhathi esiningi besola yonke into. 

I-BPD ebudlelwaneni ingabonakala ngezindlela eziningi futhi akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuzwelana nayo. Ake sibheke ukuthi kungase kubukeke kanjani uma usothandweni nomuntu one-BPD. 

1. I-Emotional lability iholela kuma-janky foundations 

“Uma uzocasuka futhi usongele umuntu othandana naye, ngeke azizwe ekhululekile ukuba nawe, angaphuma noma agcine evalelekile. 

“Futhi lapho abantu bephuma, idlala ngqo ukwesaba ukulahlwa ukuthi abantu abane-BPD ebuhlotsheni babe. Ngenxa yalokho, bangase baqale ukwenza into ewubuwula njengokusongela ukuzibulala noma ngisho nokulimaza umlingani wabo,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle. 

Uma uthandana nomuntu one-borderline personality disorder, ukuba nengxoxo eyakhayo nabo kungase kubonakale kungenakwenzeka. Nobabili nizoba sesimweni sokukhathazeka njalo, empeleni nizizwe nivaleleke. 

2. Ukuzinza okungazinzile kuholela ekulahlekeni kwe-paranoia 

Udaba oluvame kakhulu nge-borderline personality disorder kanye nobudlelwano ukuthi indlela abazibona ngayo ishintsha njalo iholela ekungahambisanini nabantu ababazungezile.

Bangase babe nombono ongacacile wokuthi yiziphi izinjongo nezindinganiso zabo, bangase baguquguquke kusukela ekuzethembeni baye ekuzinyezeni, kusukela ekumisweni ezindleleni zabo kuya esimweni sokudideka mayelana nokuphila kwabo. 

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi: “Ngenxa yalokho, baba abanamathela kakhulu nabaswele,” futhi enezela, “Bahlale bedinga ukuqinisekiswa ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngabo.” Ngeshwa, akubona bonke abangase bazimisele ngokomzwelo ukunikeza umuzwa oqhubekayo wokuqiniseka noma wokulondeka. 

“Uma udinga ukutshelwa ukuthi uyathandwa futhi waziswa njalo ngemva kwemizuzu eyishumi, kungase kumkhathaze umlingani wakho, futhi kumkhathaze ngokomzwelo.” 

3. Ubudlelwano nomuntu one-BPD buhlanganisa ukuthathwa kwezinqumo ngokuxhamazela nokunganaki

Ukuzinza okungazinzile kuholela kuphi? Ukuthenga okungenangqondo, izinguquko ezinhlelweni zempilo, kanye nezimfashini ezidlulayo ezinyamalalayo ngokuzibona kwakho isithombe sakho esilandelayo. Ku-BPD kanye nobudlelwano, kuvame ukuba nzima ukusungula umuzwa wokunethezeka ngendlela izinto ezihlale zishintsha ngayo. 

“Ukuxhamazela komunye umlingani kungase kwenze omunye acabange ukuthi ngeke akwethembe ukwahlulela komlingani wakhe.” Ungakwenza kanjani lapho besebenzisa imali eningi ezintweni ongazidingi? Ukucindezeleka kwezezimali ebudlelwaneni ingasho inhlekelele ngakho.

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi: “Ukwenza izinqumo ngokuxhamazela nokuxhamazela kungase kubangele ukuphoxeka komphakathi.” Lo muntu angase angakwazi ukusekela obunye ubuhlobo ngenxa yokushintshashintsha kwemizwelo yakhe, futhi uba umuntu ohluke ngokuphelele.

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4. Ubungane buvame ukonakala

Akumangalisi ukuthi ubunzima be-borderline personality disorder kanye nobudlelwane abugcini nje ekuxhumaneni kwezothando. “Kunzima ukwakha ubungane nomuntu othi ngelinye ilanga afune ukwazi yonke into ngawe, afune ukukulimaza.

UDkt. Bhonsle uthi: “Abantu abanalesi simo baba nobunzima ekulondolozeni noma yiluphi uhlobo lobuhlobo. 

Uma umuntu engakwazi ukuzenzela isithombe esicacile ngaye, lapho engakwazi ukulawula ukuqubuka kwentukuthelo, nakanjani kuzobonakala kubo bonke ubudlelwano abanabo. I-BPD ebudlelwaneni ithinta zonke izinhlobo ze-dynamics, hhayi nje nalabo abasondelene kakhulu. 

5. Ezinye izinkinga zempilo yengqondo zidala ezazo izinkinga

Abantu abane-BPD basengozini yokuthola ezinye izinkinga zempilo yengqondo njengokukhathazeka nokudangala. Ukuzizwa ungelutho ngokuvamile kuthinta abantu abanjalo, okuholela ekubeni bangalokothi bazizwe benelisekile ebudlelwaneni. 

“Lapho i-BPD ebudlelwaneni ibonisa ukucindezeleka, ngeke ube njalo etholakala ngokomzwelo ngemisebenzi eminingi yansuku zonke. Uzofuna ukusala wedwa, ucabangisise okwedlule, ungase uvale ngisho namathuba athakazelisayo.

“Bangase baze bahlakulele ukusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla, ukuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka, izinkinga zokubukeka komzimba, njll. Empeleni, kuholela enkingeni yokwabiwa kwezinsiza.Lapho ungenazo izinsiza ezidingekayo zokubhekana nezinselele zakho ezingokwengqondo, awusoze watholakala komunye umuntu,” kusho uDkt. Bhonsle. 

6. Izinkinga zokwethenjwa azipheli

I-Borderline personality disorder kanye nobudlelwano angeke kuqondwe ngaphandle kokufaka inkinga ekhulayo yezindaba zokwethembana. Izinkinga zokwethemba kunoma yikuphi okuguquguqukayo ngokuvamile zingasho inhlekelele, futhi uma unothile ongakwazi ukulawula ukuhlukumeza kwakhe ngokomzwelo kahle, kungase kuphumele ekuhlukunyezweni. Uma ingxoxo mayelana nokuzibophezela iholela ekuphakamiseni amazwi kanye nezinsongo zokulimala, ukuthola ukuthi yini okufanele ukwenze kungazizwa kuthena amandla. 

“Abantu abane-BPD abakwazi ukubona indawo emaphakathi, yonke into idlulele kakhulu kubo.” Kuphakathi kokuthi bakholelwa ukuthi umlingani wabo ubathanda baze bafe, noma ukuthi babopha uzungu lokuyiqeda. Njengoba bengakwazi ukuqaphela ukuthi bameleni nokuthi isithombe sabo siyini, bakholelwa ukuthi umuntu abanaye uhlale ekulungele noma uhlale efuna indlela yokuphuma,” kusho uDkt. Bhons.

Yini Okufanele Uyenze Uma Usebudlelwaneni Nothile One-BPD? 

Ukufunda nge-borderline personality disorder kanye nomthelela wako ebudlelwaneni kungase kukwenze upende isithombe esibi kakhulu engqondweni yakho. Nakuba kungase kubonakale sengathi eyakho izinkinga zobudlelwano akuzona izinto ezilula emhlabeni ukubhekana nazo, luhlala lukhona usizo. 

"Uma uthanda umuntu onenkinga yobuntu bomngcele, into yokuqala okudingeka uyenze iwukuthola umuntu ochwepheshe bengqondo kanye nodokotela wengqondo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi kukhona uhlobo oluthile lomzamo wokuvuselela. Ngaphandle kwalokho, uzobanjwa ochungechungeni olunobuthi phakathi kokuzigcina kwakho kanye nokuba khona komunye umuntu, "kusho uDkt. Bhonsle. 

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Uma njengamanje uthandana nomuntu one-borderline personality disorder futhi udinga usizo lochwepheshe, noma uma wazi othile odonsa kanzima ngento efanayo, siyakunxusa ukuthi ubheke Iphaneli ye-Bonobology yabanolwazi abacebisi, kuhlanganise noDkt. Aman Bhonsle.

Ukunqamula ukuphazamiseka kobuntu nobudlelwano akulula. Kungase kube nomuzwa wokuthi wonke amathemba alahlekile, nokuthi uzizwa uvaleleke futhi ushiywe wedwa, kodwa ngokuphikelela nosizo oluvela kochwepheshe, asikho isizathu sokuthi kungani izinto zingakwazi ukuba ngcono. 

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