Wesaba ukungena ebudlelwaneni noma cha othandweni? Angazi noma unomuntu ofanele noma ubuhlobo buyohlala njalo? Hhayi-ke, yonke le micabango cishe ikunikeza udaba lwakudala lokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano. Kodwa, ngaphambi kokuba sixoxe ngokuthi singabhekana kanjani nokukhathazeka ngobuhlobo, ake siqale sizame ukuqonda ukuthi kuyini ukukhathazeka ngobuhlobo.
Ukuba nezinga elithile lokukhathazeka kobudlelwane kuvamile, ikakhulukazi uma usesikhathini esibalulekile njengasekuqaleni kobudlelwane noma ukuthatha isinyathelo esikhulu esilandelayo njengokucela umlingani ukuthi angene noma ashade. Kodwa-ke, lapho uphelelwa amandla futhi umqondo nje wokuba sothandweni ukushiya ugcwele ukukhathazeka, kungaba uphawu lwezinkinga. Akubhekwa njengokuxilongwa okusemthethweni emhlabeni wezempilo yengqondo kodwa kuthinta inhlalakahle engokomzimba nengokomzwelo yalabo ababhekene nakho. Ngaphambi kokuthi ukhathazeke, yazi ukuthi kungenzeka ukunqoba ukukhathazeka kobudlelwano. Kunezindlela zokubhekana nakho.
Silapha ukuze sikusize uthole ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano ngemininingwane evela kumeluleki Neelam Vats (umsebenzi oqinisekisiwe we-CBT kanye ne-NLP), onolwazi lweminyaka engaphezu kwamashumi amabili esiza izingane, intsha kanye nabantu abadala ukubhekana nezinkinga ezihlobene nokudangala, ukukhathazeka, ubudlelwano phakathi kwabantu kanye nokukhathazeka ngomsebenzi.
Kuyini Ukukhathazeka Ngobudlelwano?
Okuqukethwe
Ukuba sebudlelwaneni kungenye yemizwa emihle kakhulu futhi ejabulisa kakhulu emhlabeni. Kodwa, kwabanye, kungase kube indawo yokuzalanisa nokukhathazeka. Ungathola imicabango nemizwa ekhathazayo nganoma yisiphi isikhathi ebuhlotsheni bakho. Kubantu abaningi, umcabango nje ukuthandana noma ukuba nothile kungabangela ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka.
Ngakho-ke, kuyini ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwano? Hhayi-ke, yisimo esiqhubekayo sokwesaba ngokweqile, ukungaqiniseki, nokungazethembi lapho uhlala ukhathazekile ngobudlelwano bakho, uzibuza wena noma umlingani wakho, ukucabanga ngokweqile, nokungabaza ukubaluleka kwakho. Labo abaphethwe yikho bavame ukusunduza abantu noma babambelele kakhulu. Kungenzeka bangabaze imizwa yabo ngabalingani babo ekuqaleni kobudlelwano. Bahlushwa imibuzo efana nalena:
- Ngilunge ngokwanele?
- Kuthiwani uma kungasebenzi?
- Ingabe nginomuntu ofanele?
- Ingabe umlingani wami uyangithanda?
- Ngabe ngiyafuna ngempela ukuba kulobu budlelwano?
- Ngimthanda ngokwanele yini?
- Ingabe siyahambisana ngokwanele ukuze sakhe ikusasa ndawonye?
Uma uhlezi uzibuza le mibuzo, ubhekene nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano. "Ukukhathazeka njalo nokungazethembi kungavela ngisho noma yonke into ihamba kahle ebudlelwaneni. Ukukhathazeka kungaba nomthelela ebuhlotsheni bakho ngezindlela ezahlukene, kuye ngezimpawu ohlangabezana nazo. Kujwayelekile kakhulu futhi kungabonakalisa ngesimo sezinkinga zomzimba (ukucasuka kwesisu, ukukhathala) kanye nengqondo (ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo, ukuntula ugqozi)," kusho uNeelam.
Yini Edala Ukukhathazeka Ngobudlelwano
Ngesikhathi echaza izimbangela zokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano, uNeelam uthi, “Izici ezivamile ezidlalwayo ukuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni, ubudlelwano obudlule, ukukhohliswa, ukulahlwa kungalindelekile, ophathina abaqamba amanga ngemizwa yabo ngawe noma abadukisayo ngohlobo lobuhlobo, nokuzethemba.”
Uma uzibuza ukuthi "Kungani ubudlelwano bunginika ukukhathazeka?" noma yini ebangela ukukhathazeka kobudlelwane, yazi ukuthi kungaba nezizathu eziningana ngemuva kwakho. Ukuqaphela izimbangela kuzokusiza uqonde uma uhlushwa izimpawu zokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano futhi uthole nokuthi ungayibhekana kanjani nenkinga. Nalu uhlu lwezi-4 ezingabangela ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwano:
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1. Isitayela sokunamathisela
Wonke umuntu une- isitayela sokunamathiselwe ukuthi bakhule besebancane. Lesi sitayela sokunamathisela sincike ebudlelwaneni umuntu ababelana nabo nabanakekeli bakhe abayinhloko ngenkathi ekhula. Kunezinhlobo ezahlukene zezitayela zokunamathisela - ezivikelekile, ezikhathazekile, ezigwemayo, nezingahlelekile. Zisho ikhwalithi yobudlelwano babantu abadala esibakhayo esikhathini esizayo.
Uma ukhule uzizwa ungaphephile, ungavikelekile, noma unganakiwe ngabanakekeli bakho abayinhloko, kungenzeka ukuthi usungule isitayela sokunamathisela esikhathazayo, esikwenza ubuze imizwa yomlingani wakho ngawe. Ukuthola kunzima ukubathemba futhi uhlale ukhathazeka ngokuthi bangase bakushiye futhi bathole ongcono. Lesi esinye sezizathu zokuthi “kungani ukuba sebudlelwaneni kungibangela ukukhathazeka”.
2. Izigigaba zesikhathi esidlule ezingezinhle
Esinye isizathu sokuthi "ukuba sebudlelwaneni kungibangela ukukhathazeka" kungaba isipiliyoni esibi nobudlelwano esikhathini esidlule. Izimpendulo zakho noma ikhwalithi yebhondi owabelana ngayo nozakwenu nayo inqunywa ulwazi lwakho lwangaphambilini. Uma uke walinyazwa, ukhohlisiwe, noma uqanjwe amanga ebudlelwaneni bakho obudlule, ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo okwenzekayo kungabangela ukuxwaya ukuxhumana okuseduze. Kungenzeka ukuthi uthwala ukuhlukumezeka kwesikhathi esedlule ebudlelwaneni bakho besikhathi esizayo.
3. Yini ebangela ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwane? Ukuzethemba okuphansi nokuzethemba
Lokhu kungenye yezimbangela ezinkulu zokukhathazeka kobudlelwano. Abantu abahlushwa ukuzethemba okuphansi noma ukuzethemba okuphansi bavame ukuzithola bekhathazeka ngokulahlekelwa abalingani babo. Abazethembi ngamakhono abo futhi abazizwa bevikelekile ebudlelwaneni babo ngoba bazizwa bengalufanele uthando abaluthola kumlingani wabo. Bahlale bengabaza ukuthi bayakufanelekela ukuthandwa nokunakekelwa othile. Ngakho-ke, ukuzenyeza futhi nezindaba zokuzibona ubalulekile kungaba impendulo yakho “kungani ubudlelwano bunginika ukukhathazeka” inkinga.
4. Ukuntuleka kwamakhono okuxhumana
Amakhono okuxhumana amabi angacekela phansi ubudlelwano obunothando kakhulu. Ukungazi ukuthi ungaziveza kanjani noma ukhulume imizwa yakho nezidingo zakho kumlingani wakho kungabangela ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwane ngoba cishe uhlale ukhathazekile ngokuqondwa kabi omunye wakho obalulekile. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umlingani wakho angase futhi azizwe ekhungathekile noma ecindezelekile ngenxa yokuhlale esebenzelana nomuntu ongakwazi ukuziveza.
Ezinye izizathu kungaba ukuthambekela kokungabaza umlingani wakho kanye nobudlelwano, ingcindezi, izindaba zokwethembana, nokungqubuzana okuqhubekayo. Lezi zingaba yizicupha izinkinga zobudlelwano, okungase, nakho, ukondle iluphu yemicabango ekhathazekile. Manje njengoba usuzazi izimbangela, ake sixoxe ngezimpawu zokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano ukuze uthole ukuthi ungazisingatha kanjani.
Top 5 Izimpawu Unakho Ukukhathazeka Ubudlelwano
Kunezibonakaliso eziningana ezingokomzimba nezingokomzwelo ezibonisa ukuthi ubhekene nokukhathazeka kobudlelwane. Ukwenyuka kwezinga lokushaya kwenhliziyo, ukujuluka, izinkinga zokugxilisa ingqondo, ukuziphatha kokuzilimaza, ukwenza intaba uphume e-molehill, nokuntula ukwethembana kuyizimpawu ezimbalwa zokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano. Kubalulekile ukuzibona ukuze ukwazi ukubhekana nazo. Nazi izimpawu ezimbalwa zokukhathazeka ebudlelwaneni okufanele uziqaphele:
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1. Ukwesaba ukuzinikela
Kwabaningi, umqondo nje wokuba nomuntu uzizwa sengathi uhlobo oluthile lwekheji noma into abangafaneleki noma abangakwazi ukuyenza, yingakho benqamula abantu noma baqhelelene kancane kancane ubuhlobo baba serious. Ukwesaba ukuzinikela kungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano. Lokhu kungenzeka ngenxa yezizathu ezimbalwa ezifana nokuhlukumezeka kwasebuntwaneni noma umuzwa ongemuhle wobudlelwane esikhathini esidlule.
2. Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana
Ukukhathazeka ngokuhlukana ngokuvamile kubangelwa ukwesaba ukulahlwa. Uma uhlezi ukhathazekile ngokuphepha komlingani wakho nokuthi ukuphi, wesaba ukuthi uzokushiya noma ube nengcindezi lapho besohambweni, cishe ubhekene nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana. Lapho ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa noma ukuhlukana nomlingani wakho kuba nzima kakhulu ukuphatha, kubangela ukucindezeleka futhi ekugcineni kukuholela ekubeni uzizwe ukhathazekile ebudlelwaneni.
3. Amazwi nezenzo zozakwethu ocabanga ngokweqile
Umuntu onokukhathazeka ebudlelwaneni uvame ukufunda kakhulu amazwi noma izenzo zomlingani wakhe. Okuthile okujwayelekile njengehlaya noma ukuphoxeka nje ngobuntu bomuntu kungenza ingqondo yabo ingene ekhanda mayelana nokuthi umlingani wabo uyafuna yini ukuba naye. Baphephetha izinto ngokwesilinganiso futhi bacabange ngokweqile igama ngalinye eliphuma emlonyeni womlingani wabo.
4. Izimpawu zokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano - Ukungabaza imizwa yomlingani
Ukukhathazeka ngokuthi eyakho umlingani uyakuthanda noma ukukhathalela kungolunye uphawu ukukhathazeka ubuhlobo. Uqala ukungabaza ukubaluleka kwakho empilweni yomlingani wakho - uma ubalulekile noma uzothola ongcono kunawe. Ucabanga kakhulu ngezinto ezinjengokuthi ingabe omunye wakho obalulekile uzokukhumbula uma ungasekho noma akweseke emizabalazweni yakho. Uyazibuza ukuthi bakuthanda ngeqiniso yini futhi bafuna ukuba nawe noma bamane bakusebenzisela ukuzizuzisa bona.
5. Ukukhathazeka kunokuba ujabulele isikhathi ndawonye
Kungokwemvelo ukungabaza noma izikhathi zokungazethembi lapho usothandweni. Kodwa uma uzithola ucindezeleka ngakho kangangokuthi awukwazi ukujabulela isikhathi samanje, kusho ukuthi kuwuphawu oluphathelene nokukhathazeka futhi lokhu kukhathazeka okuqhubekayo kungakwenza uzicekele phansi ubudlelwano bakho. Isimo sakho sokukhathazeka njalo singathinta umlingani wakho ngendlela engafanele, simenze azizwe ecasukile noma ekhungathekile.
Umuntu onokukhathazeka ebudlelwaneni udinga ukuqinisekiswa nokwamukelwa okuvela kumlingani wakhe. Kukhona futhi amathuba okuthi bayazithulisa futhi bakhethe ukungavezi imicabango yabo, ukukhetha, noma imibono yabo ngenxa yokwesaba ukwenqatshwa noma ukwahlulela okungekuhle. Lokhu kungase kukhulise ukukhathazeka ebuhlotsheni ngoba umuntu uthola ukwazi ngokubukeka kwakhe noma udliwa imicabango ngenxa yokwesaba ukuhlekwa usulu noma ukuphoxeka.
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Kungokwemvelo ukudlula ezingeni elithile lokukhathazeka lapho usothandweni. Ukubhekana nokukhathazeka akusho ukuthi usenkingeni ubudlelwano obungenampilo. Kodwa kuba yimbangela yokukhathazeka lapho iqala ukuba nomthelela ebuhlotsheni bakho kanye nezinye izici zokuphila kwakho.
Kunezindlela ezisebenzayo zokubhekana nokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka ebuhlotsheni. Izindlela zokwelapha zokwelapha nokucindezeleka, ukushintsha indlela yokuphila kanye nokuxhumana okuthembekile nomlingani wakho kunganciphisa ngempumelelo amazinga okukhathazeka futhi kuthuthukise ubuhlobo bakho. Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano, nazi izindlela eziyi-9 ezingasiza:
1. Thola futhi ubhekane nokukhathazeka kwakho
Enye yezindlela zokubhekana nokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka ebudlelwaneni iwukuhlonza umsuka wako, ukuxhuma amachashazi kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwasebuntwaneni noma okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule bese ubhekana nakho ngqo. Kufanele uzihlole. Izokunikeza ukuqonda kokuthi yini eqhuba izenzo zakho nokuziphatha, okwenza ube ngizizwa ngingavikelekile, nokuthi zonke lezi zigigaba zibumise kanjani ubudlelwano bakho.
U-Neelam uthi, “Vuma futhi wamukele ukuthi ubhekene nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano.” Ngokwesibonelo, uma ubhekene nokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni bakho, qaphela iqiniso lokuthi kubangelwa ukwesaba ukudedela obathandayo.
Ubudlelwano akuyona into yokugibela uwedwa. Kuthatha okubili ku-tango, yingakho kufanele wamukele izinkathazo zakho futhi wenze umzamo wokuzilawula noma ukuziqeda. Okubaluleke kakhulu, qiniseka ukuthi uyamfaka umlingani wakho kulo mzamo. Uma kungenjalo, ukusabela komlingani wakho kuzokusiza ukukala ukuthi ubudlelwano bufanele yini ukulwa.
2. Khuluma ngokwethembeka nophathina wakho
Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo ekubhekaneni nazo zonke izinhlobo zezinkinga ebudlelwaneni, kuhlanganise nokukhathazeka. Thembeka kumlingani wakho mayelana nalokho okulindele, ukungazethembi kanye nezinkathazo. Qiniseka ukuthi uzwakalisa ukukhathazeka kwakho futhi ucacise nokungaqondi kahle. Ukukhulumisana okunempilo kuwuphawu lobudlelwano obunempilo. Kunzima kodwa kubalulekile. Akugcini nje ngokuqinisa ubuhlobo bakho nomlingani wakho kodwa futhi kusiza ekugcineni konke lokho kucindezeleka nokukhathazeka kude.
Ngokukhulumisana okuqotho, bobabili abalingani bangakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi yini abayifunayo komunye nomunye futhi bagweme ukwenza izimo ezimbi kakhulu emakhanda abo. Yenza umzamo wokukhuluma ngokwethembeka nomlingani wakho mayelana nokukhathazeka kwakho nokuthi ningabhekana kanjani nakho ndawonye. Lokhu kufaka phakathi izingxoxo mayelana nokusondelana ngokocansi kanye nemingcele. Ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho kuzomsiza ukuthi akuqonde kangcono. Uma sebeyazi ngenkinga, bazokwazi ukukusiza ukuyinqoba.
3. Zitike emisebenzini yakho oyintandokazi kanye nezinto ozilibazisa ngazo
Enye yezindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokubhekana nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano ukuzitika ezintweni noma izinto ezikulethela injabulo. Umuntu onokukhathazeka ebuhlotsheni ngokuvamile uhileleka kakhulu futhi abanjwe nemicabango nezinkathazo zakhe kangangokuthi ezinye izici zempilo azinakwa. Qinisekisa ukuthi lokho akwenzeki.
Zibandakanye emisebenzini nasezintweni zokuzilibazisa ezikwenza uzizwe ujabule. Xhumana nabangani kanye nobunye ubudlelwano obubalulekile empilweni yakho. Kuzokusiza ukuthi ulawule ukukhathazeka kobudlelwano bakho. U-Neelam uyancoma, “Hlala nesilwane sakho esifuywayo. Lalela umculo, ubukele imuvi noma ufunde. Vakashela ikhefi noma indawo yokudlela oyintandokazi yakho. Hamba uyoshaywa umoya. Chitha isikhathi uzungeze imvelo.
"Hlela umsebenzi ongawenza uwedwa noma nabantu obathandayo. Thinta okuthile okududuzayo njengesikibha noma ingubo oyithandayo bese ucabanga ukuthi kuzwakala kanjani ngaphansi kweminwe yakho. Yenza uhlu lwezinto ezinhle ezikulethela injabulo nentokozo. Zibone ngeso lengqondo."
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4. Funda ukulawula imiphumela engokomzimba yokukhathazeka
Ukukhathazeka kungase kubonakale nasemzimbeni, kubangele ukukhathala, ubuhlungu besifuba, ukushaya kwenhliziyo okwandisiwe, ubuhlungu besisu, ukucasuka, ukuqwasha, ikhanda elilula, isicanucanu, ikhanda elibuhlungu, nokuphelelwa umoya, phakathi kwezinye izimpawu. Kumelwe ulawule lokhu kusabela komzimba.
U-Neelam uncoma ukuzijwayeza i-yoga nokuzindla ukuze ulwe nokukhathazeka. “Zinakekele, uzivocavoce, udle ukudla okunomsoco nokunempilo, ulale kahle futhi uzilolonge izindlela zokuphumula ukuze ubhekane nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano. zithande. Ukunakekela impilo yakho kuzokusiza ukuthi uhlale uzolile futhi kukwenze ucabange ngendlela eyakhayo,” usho kanje.
5. Ungabhekana kanjani nokukhathazeka kobudlelwane? Xhumana nomelaphi
Ukwelashwa, ngokungangabazeki, kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwane. Ukuthola isiqondiso sochwepheshe kuzokusiza ukuthi uzazi futhi uqoqe imicabango yakho kangcono. Umelaphi uzokwazi ukumba ngokujulile enkingeni, abone iphethini yokucabanga ekhathazekile, futhi anikeze izixazululo ezisebenzayo zokubhekana nokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka ebuhlotsheni.
Kuyindawo yakho ephephile ukuthi uvuleke futhi uthembeke ngemizwa yakho ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulela, ukuphoxeka, noma ukugconwa. Ungavele ube nguwena phambi komelaphi. U-Neelam uphakamisa ukuthi, "I-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) ingasiza ekuhleleni kabusha ukuchema kokuqonda okukuvumela ukuba ukhululeke lapho ukukhathazeka kukhuphuka." Umelaphi uzokwazi ukukuqondisa endleleni efanele futhi akusize usebenze ngenqubo yakho yokucabanga engemihle, ukuzethemba nokuzethemba ukuze ukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo nomlingani wakho.
Ungase futhi ukhulume nomlingani wakho mayelana nokukhathazeka kwakho futhi uzibhalisele ukwelashwa kwabashadile. Kuzokusiza nobabili ukuthi niziqonde futhi niziqonde kangcono. Uzokwazi ukubhekana nezinkinga eziwumsuka nokwesaba ngaphandle kokwahlulela, okuzogcina kudambise ukukhathazeka. Uma ucabanga ukuthola usizo, abelaphi abanelayisensi nabanolwazi bavuliwe I-Bonobology pAnele zilapha kuwe.
6. Qaphela imicabango yakho namandla akho
Ukuze ukwazi ukubhekana noma ukunqoba ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwano, kubalulekile ukuthi uqinisekise imizwa yakho kodwa, ngesikhathi esifanayo, ufunde ukuyiyeka. Zama ukuqaphela noma ukubona okwenzekayo ngaleso sikhathi esikhundleni sokukwahlulela. Yenza umzamo wokuyeka leyo micabango engemihle nekhathazayo ngokuyibona nge-lens eyakhayo.
I-Neelam iphakamisa ukuthi ukholelwe emandleni akho uma usebenzisana nawo ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebuhlotsheni. Uthi, “Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukukhathazeka kungokwesikhashana futhi kungadamba ngokuqaphela amakhono akho.
7. Funda ukuphatha izenzo zakho
Enye yezindlela zokubhekana nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano ukubamba izenzo zakho. Izenzo zakho zithinta ukukhathazeka kwakho, okugcina kuthinta ubuhlobo bakho. Isibonelo, labo ababhekene nokukhathazeka ngokuhlukana bazizwa bephoqelekile ukuthi bahlole abalingani babo noma bazi mayelana nokuthi bakuphi. Baqala ukuzizwa bekhathazekile futhi babe nokucindezeleka okukhulu lapho becabanga ukuba kude nomlingani wabo.
Nakuba kuvamile ukuthumela umlayezo ukuze wazi ukuthi baphephile yini, ukuthumela imiyalezo njalo uma wazi ukuthi mhlawumbe basemsebenzini noma ukuzihlalela nje kuzoholela ekungqubuzaneni. Zama futhi ulawule le mibono ngoba ingaba nomthelela omubi ebudlelwaneni bakho. Funa izindlela zokuziphazamisa - gijima, ubukele imuvi, chitha isikhathi nesilwane sakho esifuywayo, noma khuluma nomngane oseduze. Le ndlela ingasiza futhi uma usebenzisana nayo ubudlelwano bebanga elide ukukhathazeka.
8. Zama ukujabulela isikhathi samanje
Awusoze wazi isiphetho sanoma ibuphi ubuhlobo, pho kungani uvumela ingqondo yakho izule? Siyazi ukuthi kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi uyeke ukukhathazeka ngekusasa futhi ugxile kokwamanje. Ungaphuthelwa izikhathi eziyigugu zamanje ngoba awukwazi ukuyeka ukukhathazeka ngokuthi ikusasa likuphatheleni. Funda ukujabulela imanje.
Zama ukugxila ezikhathini ezijabulisayo ozichitha nozakwenu esikhathini samanje kunokuba ucindezele esikhathini esidlule noma esizayo. Ngeke ubuye lezo zikhathi. Qiniseka ukuthi uyisebenzisa ngokugcwele. Akekho kithi owaziyo ukuthi sizoba kuphi iminyaka emi-5-10 phansi komugqa. Asazi noma ubudlelwano buyohlala bukhona yini kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi ngeke sikwazi ukwazisa iqiniso lamanje. Zazise lezo zikhathi. Thola injabulo yokukwazi ukuchitha isikhathi nomuntu omthandayo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izibonelo Eziyi-11 Zendlela Yokuziphatha Yokuzilimaza
9. Ungabhekana kanjani nokukhathazeka kobudlelwane? Ungalahlekelwa umuzwa wakho wobuwena
Izikhathi eziningi, abantu ababhekene nokukhathazeka ebudlelwaneni bavame ubunikazi babo noma umuzwa wokuziqhenya. Ubuntu bomuntu ngamunye kanye nobunikazi buqala ukushintsha ukuze bakhe isikhala sobudlelwano. Nakuba kungokwemvelo ngokuphelele, okungalungile ukulahlekelwa ubuwena kule nqubo.
Qiniseka ukuthi ungubani nokuthi ufunani ebudlelwaneni. Khumbula ukuthi isizathu esenza umlingani wakho akhethe ukuba nawe sihlobene kakhulu nobuntu bakho kanye nobuntu bakho. Uma uzishintsha ukuze uvumelane nezidingo zomlingani wakho, udala umonakalo ekuhlonipheni kwakho kanye nobuwena, okuzogcina kuphazamise ubudlelwano.
Kubaluleke kakhulu kulabo abasebenzisana nabo ukukhathazeka komphakathi nginothize engithandananaye. Khumbula ukuthi uhlukile futhi unesethi yakho yezinto ozithakaselayo, okuhlangenwe nakho kanye nemibono yakho. Bambelela kulowo muzwa wobumina. Thanda futhi wamukele ukuthi ungubani. Yazi ukuthi ubalulekile.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwano kuchazwa njengesimo esiqhubekayo sokwesaba, ukungaqiniseki, nokungazethembi umuntu aba nakho ebuhlotsheni.
- Izimbangela zokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano zihlanganisa isitayela sokunamathela esikhathazekile, amakhono okuxhumana ampofu, okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule, nokuzethemba.
- Ukungabaza imizwa yomlingani wakho, ukucabanga ngokweqile ngamazwi nangezenzo zakhe, ukwesaba ukuzibophezela, nokuchitha isikhathi ukhathazekile kunokuzijabulisa nomuntu wakho okhethekile ngezinye zezimpawu zokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano.
- Amathiphu ambalwa okuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano ahlanganisa ukunaka imicabango nezenzo zakho, ukufunda ukujabulela isikhathi samanje, ukukhulumisana kahle, nokugcina umuzwa wakho wokuzizwa unjalo.
- Ukwelashwa kungase kushintshe umdlalo uma kuziwa ekubhekaneni nokukhathazeka ebuhlotsheni
Uma ubhekana nokukhathazeka ngobudlelwano, kufanele ufune usizo ngaphambi kokuthi kudale omunye umonakalo kuwe nasebudlelwaneni bakho. Yazi ukuthi awuwedwa nokuthi ungakwazi ukuphatha noma ukunqoba ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwano. Qonda izimbangela. Vumela abantu abakuqondayo nabakwesekayo ukuthi bakusize.
U-Neelam futhi uncoma ukubheka ubudlelwano obunempilo. Uthi, “Kungaba usizo ukubona ubudlelwano obunempilo, obuncike komunye nomunye ngoba bunikeza ubuchopho nomzimba wakho isifanekiso sokuthi ubudlelwano bunjani, ngokuphambene nokuqonda kuphela okuncikene futhi. izitayela zokunamathisela ezingavikelekile.” Ubudlelwano buyizindlela ezimbili. Lokho umuntu abhekana nakho noma adlula kukho kuthinta omunye, yingakho kuhle ukuthi ufune usizo ngaphambi kokuba izinto zingahambi kahle.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Yebo. Ungakwazi ukunqoba ukukhathazeka kobudlelwane. Kuthatha isikhathi nomzamo kodwa kuyenzeka. Kufanele uqonde izinkinga eziwumsuka, uthole usizo futhi usebenzele ukuzilawula.
Kungokwemvelo ukuba nezinga elithile lokukhathazeka ebudlelwaneni. Kuvame kakhulu. Abantu bavamise ukubhekana nakho ekuqaleni kobudlelwano. Kodwa-ke, uma ucabanga ukuthi izophuma ekulawuleni, cabanga ukufinyelela kumelaphi.
Kuncike emazingeni okukhathazeka. Abanye bangase babone umehluko phakathi nezikhathi ezimbalwa kanti abanye kungase kudingeke belashwe iminyaka. Awukho umugqa wesikhathi omisiwe kulokhu.
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Isihloko esinolwazi kakhulu.Usizo ekukhipheni ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwano.
Hey Neeru,
Siyajabula ukuzwa ukuthi usithole siwusizo lesi sihloko. Siyaqonda ukuthi ukukhathazeka ngobudlelwano kungaba nzima ukubhekana nakho. Uma udinga noma yiluphi usizo, sicela uxhumane nathi ku [i-imeyili ivikelwe].