“Angikwazi ngempela ukubhekana nobudlelwano njengamanje, ngifuna into nje engajwayelekile.” Ngiyaqiniseka ukuthi uhlangabezane nento efanayo phakathi nohlelo lwakho lokusebenza lokuphola, noma kungenzeka ukuthi usho okuthile ngokwakho. Okwakamuva cwaningo yi-American Psychological Association ithole ukuthi uGen Z kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi abike ukukhathazeka ngempilo yengqondo futhi ingxenye ephezulu yesizukulwane ibika izinkinga zempilo yengqondo kunezihlobo zabo eziseduze, izinkulungwane zeminyaka.
Ukukhula nezwe ezandleni zethu, akufanele sizizwe sinesizungu, akunjalo? Phela i-inthanethi yenze umhlaba waba mncane. Akukaze kube lula ukuxhumana nabantu. Ngaphandle kwezinkundla eziningi zokuxhumana, izinhlelo zokusebenza zokuqomisana, kanye nemibuthano emikhulu ye-Pokemon Go, iGen Z empeleni kubika ekubeni isizukulwane esinesizungu, esizisholo ukuthi sinempilo embi ngokwengqondo kunezizukulwane ezindala.
Izizathu zokuthi isaziso ngasinye ocingweni lwakho sisuke kanjani ekudambiseni i-dopamine siye ekunxenxeni i-cortisol ziningi, kodwa esigxile kukho kakhulu ukuthi u-Gen Z ubhekana kanjani nobudlelwano ngezikhathi zokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo, okubonakala kunjalo kwabaningi bethu. Ukuze ngithole ukuqonda okungcono ngesihloko, ngabuza uchwepheshe we-psychotherapist UDkt. Aman Bhonsle (Ph.D., PGDTA), onguchwepheshe kwezokwelulekwa ngobudlelwano kanye ne-Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy futhi esebenza kakhulu no-Gen Z, mayelana nokuthi kungani abanye abahlengikazi begwema uthando.
Ingabe Impilo Yengqondo Iyabuthinta Ubudlelwano Bakho?
Okuqukethwe
“Ngeke ngikwazi ukubhekana nobudlelwano, ngize ngaphuma embhedeni namuhla.” Okokuqala, siyakuhalalisela ngokuzikhipha embhedeni (ngiqonde, kungaba nzima ngezinye izinsuku!) Okwesibili, izitatimende ezinjengalezi ngeshwa zivame kakhulu endaweni yethu yamanje yokuqomisana. Kodwa lingakanani iqiniso lowo musho? Ngabe kuyiqiniso ukuthi uma sidonsa kanzima izinkinga zempilo yengqondo, zinamandla okuthinta nobudlelwano bethu? “Yebo, ngaphandle kokungabaza,” kusho UDkt Aman.
“Indlela osebenzisana ngayo nabanye abantu izokhombisa indlela osebenzisana ngayo nawe, ijwayele ukuphumela obala ngandlela thize.Isibonelo, uma ungenawo umbono ophakeme ngawe, cishe uyofuna ukuqinisekiswa njalo kumlingani wakho.
“Uma ungeke ukwazi ukuzimela ngalokho oyikho, uzofuna ukuthi umlingani wakho akuthande futhi akwazise, okuyokwenza uzizwe ubalulekile.” Ngenxa yalokho, ungagcina usunamathela kancane, ungaba nezinto ezincane, ungazethembi.
"Samukela uthando esicabanga ukuthi siyalufaneleka." – UStephen Chobsky, Ubuhle bokuba namahloni. Lapho umuntu onenkinga yokugula ngengqondo noma izinkinga zokuzethemba esefinyelele esiphethweni esilimazayo sokuthi akalufanele uthando, angase akhathazeke kakhulu ngempilo yanoma ibuphi ubuhlobo angase abe nabo.
Ingabe abantu abanenkinga yezempilo yengqondo bangaba abalingani abahle?
Ukubhekana nezinselele zempilo yengqondo kuzothinta ubudlelwano bakho njalo. Ngisho noma ukuzethemba kuyinto ongazabalazi nayo, kuvame ukuvela nezinye izinkinga. UDkt. Aman usitshela ukuthi izinkinga zempilo yengqondo kungathinta isifiso sobulili futhi kubangele izinkinga zokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni.
“Kuyinkinga yokwabiwa kwezinsiza,” kuchaza uDkt. Aman, esitshela ukuthi othile onenkinga yezempilo yengqondo angase angakwazi ukunaka umlingani wakhe. “Lapho umlingani wakho ekudinga ukuthi ungenele futhi umnikeze ukwesekwa, ukukunakekela noma ukuzwelana nawe ungase ungakwazi ukwenza lokho, empeleni usesimweni esikhathazayo uma kuziwa ezinkingeni zakho.
"Unenani elilinganiselwe lezinsiza ongazidlulisela kumlingani wakho ngemuva kokubhekana nezinkinga zakho. Kodwa lokhu kuphambukiswa kwezinsiza kungenzeka kuphela uma unemali eningi, hhayi uma usuphelelwe amandla," uyengeza. Kuyacaca ukuthi ukukhathazeka kukaGen Z mayelana nesimo sabo sengqondo esithinta impilo yabo yothando kungaba yiqiniso. Kodwa-ke, akudingeki ukuthi kube isitifiketi sokufa sobudlelwane bakho. “Kwesinye isikhathi kuyiqiniso ukuthi bangaba uphathina ophazamisekile, noma kunjalo bakhona abalingani abakahle abangaba nezinselelo zempilo yengqondo, kuya ngezinga lokugula nokuzinza kophathina.
“Ngokwesibonelo, umuntu onenkinga yobuntu kungenzeka abe nesineke, kodwa uma umlingani wakhe enesineke esikhulu futhi engenawo ulaka, angakwazi ukwenza izinto zisebenze.” Ngeshwa, kungase kube ukugibela kanzima kozakwenu lapho efika ekugcineni, kodwa awukho umthetho othi uma ungaphilile kahle engqondweni, awukwazi ukuba sebudlelwaneni,” uyanezela.
Nakuba umgwaqo ungase ube namabhampa, ukuxilongwa kokukhathazeka noma ukucindezeleka noma yisiphi isifo sengqondo akusho ukuthi kufanele dela uthando. Ufanelwe uthando njengawo wonke umuntu, nakuba kungase kube nzima ukubona ukuthi kunjalo ngezinsuku ezimbi kakhulu.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Abhekana Ngayo Nokugula Ngengqondo Komlingani Wakhe
Yini esingayenza?
Nakuba ukugula kwakho kungasho ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buyophela, kungenzeka ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi ungakwazi ukunikeza umlingani wakho ukunakwa okufanele ngoba uzama ukubhekana nezinkinga zakho. Umbuzo ke uthi, kungaba yini isisombululo?
“Kudingeka baqale ukuzisebenzela,” kusho uDkt. Aman, mayelana nesinyathelo sokuqala okufanele sibe ngaso kunoma ubani ofuna ukungavumeli impilo yakhe yengqondo iphazamise uthando. “Ukufuna usizo lukamelaphi, ukwenza noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuzithuthukisa kuzosiza.
“Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuhilela ukufunda izincwadi, ukunakekela umzimba wakho kangcono, ukulala ngesikhathi, ukudla ukudla okunomsoco, ukuhlakulela umphakathi onempilo, ukukhiqiza ngokwanele kunoma yini oyidalile, nanoma yini esiza ekunikezeni umuzwa wokuzethemba.
"Bathi abantu abakhathazekile badinga iphrojekthi enhle, okuyiqiniso. Ubuchopho bunendlela yokuzulazula emibuthanweni. Uma ufuna ukukhululeka, kufanele ushintshe umkhuba, unyakazise inkundla yezokuxhumana, futhi phatha okulindelekile ngendlela ekhaliphile.
“Lokho kudinga ukuqeqeshwa, yilapho-ke kungena khona umuntu onjengami. Ngisebenze nabantu abaningi ukuze ngibasize bakwazi ukuhleleka lapho befuna ukuba khona noma bathole ukuthi bangathanda ukuba kuphi futhi ngibasize bagweme lokho ababekulindele,” uyanezela.
Lapho lokhu kusishiya khona
Ku-Gen Z, umzabalazo nempilo yengqondo ungokoqobo. Izizathu ezibangela ukuqala kokukhathazeka nokudangala kungase kubonakale kungavamile kithi, ikakhulukazi njengoba singakwazi nokukhomba izimbangela zezinkinga zethu zempilo yengqondo. Kodwa-ke, uma uzabalaza kulokhu kodwa usafuna ukuthola umuntu ongaqala ngaye isiteshi se-YouTube sokubhuloga ngababhangqwana (osondelene kakhulu no-Gen Z oqala ukumthanda), into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukuqala ukuzisebenzela wena.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinyathelo Ezisebenzayo Zokubhekana Nokucindezeleka - Iphaneli Yethu Yabelaphi Iyakutshela
Ukukhathazeka kuthinta zonke izici zokuphila kwakho, kusukela ebudlelwaneni kuya esikoleni kuya emsebenzini wakho. Uma into engaqondakali ikuphazamisa ekufezeni imisebenzi elula phakathi nosuku lwakho lonke, ukufika ekugcineni kwayo nokuzama ukuzenza ngcono wena kumele kube yinto eza kuqala kuwe ngokushesha.
Uma ubheke ukuqalisa, i-Bonobology inenqwaba yabelaphi abanolwazi abazimisele ukukusiza ukuthi udlule kunoma yiziphi izinkinga ongase ube nazo, kuhlanganise noDkt. Aman Bhonsle yena. Ngeke nje kube lula ukwamukela lezo zimemo zephathi yangemva kwasekolishi kodwa ungase uzame ukuqala ingxoxo ngaphandle kokwesaba uthando. Futhi uma uyiGen-Zer evamile, uzokwenza nje esikwenzayo sonke, uthole i-Snapchat yabo bese uhlwitha.
imibuzo ejwayelekile ukubuzwa
1. Yiziphi izinselelo ezinkulu uGen-Z abhekana nazo ekusimamiseni ubudlelwano besikhathi eside?
I-Gen-Z ibhekene nezinselelo ezimbalwa ekusimamiseni ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, okuhlanganisa nezindaba zokuzibophezela, umthelela wenkundla yezokuxhumana, izifiso zomsebenzi, nokugxila kakhulu ekukhuleni komuntu siqu nempilo yengqondo. Ukuxhumana okuqhubekayo ngobuchwepheshe kungasiza futhi kuvimbe ubudlelwano, kudala izingcindezi neziphazamiso izizukulwane ezedlule okungenzeka ukuthi azizange zibe nazo.
2. Ukuqwashisa ngempilo yengqondo kubuthinta kanjani ubudlelwano beGen-Z?
Ukuqwashisa ngempilo yengqondo kuthinta kakhulu ubudlelwano be-Gen-Z ngokukhuthaza ukuxhumana okuvulekile, ubuhlakani bemizwa, nokuzinakekela. Lesi sizukulwane cishe sibeka phambili inhlalakahle yaso engokwengqondo futhi sifune usizo lapho ludingeka, okungaholela ebuhlotsheni obunempilo nobusekela ngokwengeziwe. Kodwa-ke, kungaphinda kudale izinselele ezengeziwe njengoba abantu bezulazula ohambweni lwabo lwezempilo yengqondo ngenkathi begcina ubudlelwano.
Imicabango yokugcina
kuyilapho u-Gen Z ebhekene nezinselele ezibalulekile zempilo yengqondo ezithinta ikhono labo lokulondoloza ubudlelwano besikhathi eside, lokhu akusho ukuthi abakwazi ukwakha ukuxhumana okunenjongo. Ukubhekana nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo ngokwelashwa nokuzithuthukisa kubalulekile. Ukubeka phambili inhlalakahle yengqondo kungaholela ebuhlotsheni obunempilo, obusekelayo. Naphezu kwezinselelo, ngokusekelwa okufanele kanye nemizamo yomuntu siqu, u-Gen Z angazulazula emizabalazweni yabo yezempilo yengqondo futhi akhuthaze ubudlelwano obuhlala njalo.
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Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
