Amathiphu angu-10 Okuphila Komshado Ojabulisayo — Izivumo Zendoda Eneminyaka engu-90

Lapho kuziwa emshadweni, ngomqondo ongokoqobo, isikhathi silinganiselwe. Ngokushesha nje, uyabona ukulwa nezinto ezincane njengamathawula amanzi embhedeni akuyona indlela engcono kakhulu yokusebenzisa isikhathi sakho. Amanye amathiphu okuphila komshado okujabulisayo avela endodeni eneminyaka engu-90 ewohlokayo eyayifisa sengathi ingaba nesikhathi esengeziwe sokuchitha nomkayo “omusha” othandekayo oneminyaka engu-86 azosenzela okuhle sonke.

Usazolwa ngokuthi yini ongayi-oda okungenani amahora angu-2, kodwa lawa macebiso omshado ophumelelayo azoqinisekisa ukuthi omunye wenu akalali esofeni njalo ngemva kosuku olulodwa. Ngosizo lweseluleko esinengqondo esivela kumuntu oye wakubona konke, okungenani uzokwazi ukubheka izinto ngokwazisa okwengeziwe.

Ake sihlole iseluleko sekhehla elineminyaka engu-90, eligula esibhedlela, elixoxela yonke imibhangqwana eshadile amazwi okuhlakanipha, indlela elalifisa ngayo ukuba izinsuku zalo zokugcina zingagcwali ukuzisola.

Ungaphila Kanjani Impilo Yomshado Ejabulisayo: Amathiphu angu-10 Avela Kumuntu Oneminyaka Engu-90

Kungase kubonakale sengathi ngeke ube ngomunye wabashadikazi abahlale belwa, besakaza izingubo zabo ezingcolile esidlangalaleni. Kodwa lapho sekudlule iminyaka emihlanu, uyabona ukuthi ucasulwe oshade naye ngezinto ezingasho lutho, ukukhulumisana phakathi kwenu kungase kuvele kuphazamiseke ngenxa yalokho.

Izinkinga zikhula ngaphandle kokuqaphela ukuthi zikhona, futhi ngaphandle kokuthi zixazululwe, zivame ukuba zimbi kakhulu. Ngala macebiso alandelayo omshado omuhle, nokho, ungenza isiqiniseko sokuthi iziphazamiso ezincane azigcini zonakalisa ubusuku bakho bosuku, osebuvele bumbalwa futhi bukude phakathi.

Ake sibheke ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi wena nomngane wakho womshado ninempilo ejabulisayo emshadweni, nokuthi ikhehla elineminyaka engu-90 lifisa ukuthi likwenze okwengeziwe lapho lithola ithuba.

1. Ithi “ngiyakuthanda” koshade naye

“Awusoze washo ukuthi ngiyakuthanda ngokwanele kumngane wakho womshado,” kusho uBappa, leli khehla elihle elihlakaniphile. Usitshela ukuthi waqala ukuthi “ngiyakuthanda” kumkakhe ngemva kweminyaka engu-50. Ufisa ukukusho kusukela ngosuku amshada ngalo. Ubenaye ebunzimeni nasebubini, futhi umgcina egxilile emzini wakhe. Ungumlingani wakhe womphefumulo, ngakho-ke, uyaqhubeka ethi “Ngiyakuthanda” kuhhafu wakhe ongcono wenombolo engapheli yezikhathi noma ngaphezulu.

Inani lezikhathi othi “ngiyakuthanda” koshade naye alisoze lanele. Ngokusho la mazwi amathathu, uzobe uqinisekisa owakwakho ngothando onalo ngabo. Ebudlelwaneni okufanele bukugcine impilo yakho yonke, kulula ukuthatha izinto kalula bese ucabanga ukuthi umlingani wakho useyazi ukuthi umthanda kangakanani.

Nakuba ukubathanda kwakho kungase kubonakale engqondweni yakho, kuyasiza njalo ukubonisa izimpawu zothando ngezikhathi ezithile. Batshele ukuthi uyabathanda, ubatshele ukuthi babaluleke kakhulu kuwe, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ubabonise ukuthi ungabenzela noma yini.

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2. Zinikeni isikhathi sobabili

Ngemva kokusebenza kanzima iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-38, waqaphela ukuthi kwakufanele azinike isikhathi nomkakhe lapho besebenza bobabili. Uthi emuva kweminyaka emingaka uyabona ukuthi bekufanele abambe wonke amathuba ukuze achithe isikhathi naye. Kungaba ukuphuza inkomishi yekhofi/itiye ekuseni, ukubukela i-TV kusihlwa noma ukuyothenga igrosa, konke kungenziwa ndawonye. Iseluleko sakhe kwabashadile siwukuba baqikelele ukuthi bayasithola isikhathi sokuba ndawonye. 

Noma ngabe nobabili nimatasa ngomsebenzi, qinisekani ukuthi niyazenzela isikhathi sobabili. Zama ukusebenzisa wonke amathuba ukuze uchithe isikhathi nomngane wakho womshado. Nizozisola ngokungakwenzi lokho senikhulile nobabili, nicabanga iminyaka eniyichithe nigijima emsebenzini.  

Imibhangqwana echitha isikhathi esiningi iqhelelene ihlala ihlukana. Ukuqinisekisa ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi uzinike isikhathi osukwini lwabo, noma ngabe kungokwesikhashana nje ukuchitha ndawonye. Lesi seluleko esiya kwabashadile siwukuqinisekisa ukuthi bayasibekela isikhathi somunye nomunye ukuze baqhubeke benza izinkumbulo ndawonye.

3. Imfihlo yomshado ojabulisayo iwukuthatha amaholide ndawonye

Njengesandiso eselulekweni sangaphambili usikisela ukuthi nakuba imibhangqwana eshadile ikwazi ukwenza isikhathi somunye nomunye ezimisweni zayo zansuku zonke, imibhangqwana kudingeka ithathe amaholide amade njalo nje. Akudingekile ukuba nezindleko ezibizayo, kodwa ngisho noma ungachitha isikhathi epulazini futhi uhlole ukudla kwendawo kanye namasiko ndawonye, ​​into entsha emshadweni ihlala injalo. 

Imfihlo yobudlelwano besikhathi eside ukuphuma, ukuhamba ndawonye , ​​​​nokuhlola umhlaba ndawonye. Kuzoqinisa uthando kanye nesibopho phakathi kwabalingani. Okuhlangenwe nakho okusha kunikeza umbhangqwana umbono omusha.

4. Ninakekelane ekuguleni nasezinhlungwini

"Ningasolani ngokugula. Noma nini lapho umuntu engaphilile mnakekele. Akekho ozohlala ephilile. Uma oshade naye egula ngenxa yomkhuhlane, ngicela uthathe ikhefu emsebenzini ukuze ube naye. Lapho egula ngokomzimba yilapho ekudinga khona kakhulu," uyeluleka.

Namuhla njengoba esesibhedlela, ngimbone njalo umkakhe. Useduze kwakhe. Kodwa okubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi ngisho noma kunokugula okuncane, yiba nomyeni wakho noma umkakho futhi ubanikeze uthando abaludingayo ngaleso sikhathi.

Isihluthulelo sempilo yomshado ejabulisayo ukunamathela koshade naye lapho ethembele kakhulu kuwe. Akekho ofuna ukuba yedwa lapho egula noma ezwa ubuhlungu. Eqinisweni, lesi yisikhathi lapho kufanele unikeze oshade naye uthando nokunaka okwengeziwe.

5. Ungakhathazeki ngokuthi abanye bacabangani

Eminyakeni yakhe, usikisela ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile akufanele ivumele umuntu wesithathu alawule ubuhlobo bayo. Asikho isidingo sokucabanga ukuthi abanye bacabangani ngawe ngoba umbono wabo awunandaba. Umphakathi kanye nemindeni eyandisiwe inemibono ngakho konke futhi iyona ezokwenza impilo yakho yomshado ibe yimbi.

Cabanga “thina”, okungukuthi, owakwakho kanye nawe, wenze noma yini eyenza ubudlelwano benu buqine futhi bube mnandi. Ngumlingani wakho wempilo kuphela ozoba khona isikhathi eside kakhulu. Abanye bazofika bahambe ngoba intshisekelo yabo ngempilo yakho ingeyesikhashana.

6. Hlela kusengaphambili ukuzimela ngokwezimali komngane wakho womshado

U-Bappa wenze intando yakhe futhi waqinisekisa ukuthi umkakhe uqokiwe yonke indawo. Incwadi yakhe yefa inomabi wangaphandle futhi uyaqinisekisa ukuthi ngemva kwakhe, umkakhe uzobhekwa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi owesilisa noma owesifazane, bobabili badinga ukuthi intando yabo ibe isilungile futhi kufanele baqhubeke beyibuyekeza njengoba izimali zabo ezitshaliwe nezimo zezimali zishintsha.

Njengendoda ehlakaniphile, uye waqinisekisa ukuthi indlu, imali yakhe eyongiwe, impesheni yakhe, zonke izimali ezitshaliwe, njll. ziya kumkakhe ngokuzenzakalelayo ngencwadi yakhe yefa ebhalwe phansi. Nakuba kungase kubonakale kuyinto embi ukuyenza, ukulungiselela ikusasa nokukhuluma ngezimali kuhlale kungumqondo omuhle.

Ngeke wazi ukuthi kuzokwenzekani, futhi ukunakekela izinto ngaphambi kwanoma yini embi nakho kuzokwenza nina nobabili nizizwe nilondeke kakhudlwana. Lapho sikhuluma ngomshado ojabulisayo, cishe awukaze ucabange ngokuthile okunjengokulungisa izincwadi zakho zefa. Nakuba kungase kubonakale njengento exakile ukunakekelwa, kungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu futhi ezicatshangelwayo ongayenza.

7. Akukephuzi kakhulu ukuxolisa

UBappa uthi uma wenze iphutha ngicela uxolo. Akekho olimalayo ngokuxolisa. Eqinisweni, ukuxolisa ngesikhathi esifanele kungenza izinto zibe ngcono kumbhangqwana oshadile. Ngokuxolisa, umuntu angagcina emuva kwesikhathi sakhe esidlule futhi aqale ukubheka phambili ekusaseni elijabulisayo. Uma uqaphela iphutha lakho ngemva kokuba usukhulile njengomuntu ovuthiwe, kufanele ube nesibindi sokuya koshade naye uyoxolisa ngamaphutha akho.

Futhi, babonge ngokuba nawe ngisho nalapho wenze iphutha. Uma uvumela ukulwa kungaxazululeki isikhathi eside, ubutha buzokhula kakhulu. Ungavumeli ama-molehills abe yizintaba, futhi ulungise isimo ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Elinye lamacebiso angcono kakhulu okuthola umshado ojabulisayo uwukugwinya ukuqhosha kwakho futhi uxolise.

8. Ithiphu elingcono kakhulu lomshado onempilo: thuthukisa ukuxhumana

Esikhundleni sokugwema izingxoxo ngezihloko ezingathi sína, uBappa usikisela ukuthi konke kukhulunywe ngakho. “Lapho ngiqhubeka ngingasinaki isici esisegumbini, kwaba yinkinga enkulu kakhulu. Kuphela lapho beqala ukungabekezeleleki lapho sakhuluma ngabo, okwaholela ezimpini eziningi,” usho kanje. Ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni bakho kuzokusiza ukuthi ubhekane cishe nazo zonke izinkinga ezingase ziphakame.

Lapho nobabili senikwazi ukuxoxisana ngayo yonke into ngaphansi kwelanga, nizokwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi anishiyi lutho ohambweni lwenu olubheke emshadweni ojabulisayo. Uyafuna ukuthi umlingani wakho achithe isikhathi esiningi nawe? Khuluma ngakho. Ingabe ufuna ukukhuluma ngento ebikuhlupha? Kwenze, ngeke kube buhlungu. Uyazonda lelo thawula elimanzi embhedeni? Tshela umlingani wakho.

9. Ungagcini amaphuzu futhi usize endlini

UBappa uthi, “Izenzo zenkonzo emshadweni kufanele zenziwe ngenjongo yokusebenzela umlingani kuphela, hhayi ukulindela okuthile ngenxa yalokho. Umshado wakhelwe phezu kokuzidela, umzamo kanye nokungabi nabugovu. Uma ugcina amaphuzu, yilapho uyoba nenzondo nakakhulu.” Ungazami ukuwina izimpi, futhi ungenzi izinto ulindele ukubuya okuthile. Siza futhi uthathe imisebenzi yasekhaya ngoba nje ufuna, hhayi ngoba ufuna ukubuyisela okuthile. Amacebiso okuphila komshado ojabulisayo awabi lula kunokugeza izitsha.

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10. Yiba nendawo yomuntu siqu

Icebiso lethu lokugcina "lomshado ojabulisayo" lingase libe elibaluleke kakhulu, uma ubheka indlela isikhala somuntu siqu ebuhlotsheni esiwugcina ngayo ndawonye. Yebo, siyazi, sikucele ukuthi nichithe isikhathi ndawonye ekuqaleni kwalesi sihloko, kodwa ukuqinisekisa ukuthi anihlangani kahle nakho kuyinto eza kuqala uma ufuna ukuba semshadweni ojabulisayo.

Nakuba uBappa ezisola ngokungachithi isikhathi esanele nomkakhe lapho esebenza kanzima, akacabangi ukuthi umbhangqwana kufanele uhlale ndawonye. "Yiba nezimpilo zabantu ngabanye, abangani kanye nezinto zokuzilibazisa. Ungumuntu wakho, hhayi isandiso sobudlelwano bakho," usho kanje.

Impilo inokwehla nokwenyuka kwayo, kodwa uma ulandela amathiphu alula omshado ka-Bappa oneminyaka engu-90 ubudala, ungagcina uthando nokusondelana kuqinile emshadweni wakho, futhi uphile impilo ende, ejabulisayo yomshado. Khumbula nje ukuthi uthando lweqiniso ngaso sonke isikhathi luwufanele wonke umzamo. Yenzani isikhathi sobabili futhi nibe yinsika yamandla komunye nomunye. 

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