Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Zokushada Nesazi Nendlela Yokubhekana Nazo

“Isimo esiyinhloko sokuzuza uthando siwukunqoba ukulahlwa komuntu,” kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Erich Fromm encwadini yakhe ethandwayo ethi The Art of Loving. Futhi wayeqinisile. Ngokuzigqaja kwabo okukhulu kanye nesidingo sokuthi umuntu azibambele mathupha, siyazibuza ukuthi ingabe ama-narcissists angakwazi yini ukuthanda noma ubani ngempela, ingasaphathwa eyophathina babo. Siphinde sizibuze ukuthi ukushada nenarcissist kungaba njani. Phela kumele kube buhlungu uma umuntu enziwa umuntu omncane.

Kulesi sihloko, sizamile ukukunikeza izimpendulo kweminye yemibuzo yakho evuthayo mayelana nokuhlala emshadweni nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza kanye nemiphumela yokushada nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza. Ngosizo lwesazi sethu sokusebenza kwengqondo uNandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), ochwepheshe be-CBT, i-REBT, kanye nokwelulekwa kwemibhangqwana, sizophinde sibhale phansi amathiphu ambalwa okubhekana nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza. Ngakho-ke, masingachithi isikhathi futhi singene ngqo...

Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Zokushada Ne-Narcissist

Abantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza babaphatha kanjani abalingani babo? Ucwaningo lwango-2016 luphakamise ukuthi ukushada nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza kwenza ubudlelwano bakho bube bubi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngakho-ke, kungenzeka ukuthi ubudlelwano obunjalo bungase bungabonakali izimpawu zokuxhashazwa ngokuzikhukhumeza ekuqaleni, okusho ukuthi izici ezivelele zokuzikhukhumeza zingathatha isikhathi ukuziveza ngokuphelele. Lokhu kuholela ekwandeni kokungasebenzi kahle komshado kanye nokwehla kokwaneliseka komshado.

Ngeshwa, lolu cwaningo belumayelana namakhosikazi angama-narcissistic kuphela, futhi luveza iqiniso lokuthi amadoda mhlawumbe abalekela izici eziningi ezinjalo kalula, ngoba indoda elawulayo kanye ne-narcissistic mhlawumbe, ngokwezinga elithile, yamukelwa umphakathi ogcwele abesilisa.

Umsebenzisi we-Reddit waba nokuhlangenwe nakho okufanayo futhi wathi, “Ngangishade nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza futhi angizange ngiqaphele kwaze kwaba yilapho ngimshiya.” Kubonakala sengathi umyeni wakhe wayemlawula kuzo zonke izinyathelo, kusukela ekutheni kungani “ayegoqa amathawula ngendlela engafanele” kuya ekutheni kungani “ebeka ukudla ngendlela engafanele” noma eba “nesikhathi samantombazane” esisezingeni eliphezulu. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukwazi izici zomyeni noma umfazi othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ngaphambi kokuba izinto zihambe kabi. Ngezansi kunezimpawu ezingu-15 zokuthi ushade nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza:

1. Ziyathandeka, ekuqaleni

Enye indlela yokuqonda ubuntu bomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ukuqaphela kabili lokho akwazi ukukwenza ekuqaleni kobudlelwano. UNandita uthi, “Ekuqaleni komshado, bazokunika ukunaka okukhulu. Bazoba nomusa futhi babe nesandla esivulekile, futhi benze konke okusemandleni abo ukukukholisa. Ngakho-ke, uzobona izibonelo ezicacile zokuziphatha kokuzikhukhumeza ezinsukwini zokuqala zomshado wakho. Isibonelo, umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza kungenzeka:

• Ukukhiphe ngezinsuku ezibizayo
• Ukutotoswa ngezipho ezimangalisayo, ama-roses, noma ubucwebe
• Bhukha amaholide okunethezeka nawe
• Bakujezise ngokuncoma nokunaka kwabo njalo futhi bachithe isikhathi esihle nawe

2. Uzobona ukushintsha kancane ekuziphatheni kwabo

Isibonelo esisodwa sokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic ebudlelwaneni ukuthi uma ubuhlobo buqhubeka futhi i-narcissist ikunqobile, uzothola i-charm iyancipha. Kunalokho uzobabona bezitika ngokuziphatha okuzidlayo, bengenandaba nemizwa yomlingani wabo. U-Nandita uthi, “Kungase kube noshintsho oluphawulekayo ekuziphatheni komlutha, futhi kungenzeka bayeke ukukujabulisa njalo.”

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3. Uzoqaphela ukugxekwa nokwehliswa kwamanani

Kanye nokushintsha okucashile ekuziphatheni, uzobathola kancane kancane beba umgxeki wakho omkhulu, kodwa hhayi ngendlela enempilo noma eyakhayo. U-Nandita uthi, “Bazoqala ukukugxeka noma ukukwehlisela isithunzi uma nje kungalungile, futhi yilapho-ke wazi ukuthi ushade ne-narcissist, njengoba lokhu kuyindaba evamile yokuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic. Ngakho-ke, uvame ukuthola umlingani wakho we-narcissistic:

• Ukukugcona phambi kwabanye
• Ukwahlulela nokudlulisa amazwi ahlabayo emqondweni wakho wokugqoka, ukubukeka kwakho, izintshisekelo zakho noma ukukhetha kwakho kwemisebenzi

4. Abonisa imijikelezo ye-narcissistic evamile yokugxeka nokuziphatha okuthandekayo

Ingxenye ethakazelisa kakhulu yozakwethu we-narcissistic ukuthi ngeke bayeke ukukwehlisela inani. Bazoqhubeka bekwazisa ngokuhlukile futhi bakwehlise isithunzi, bakugcine ulenga lezo zikhathi ezimbalwa ezibalulekile lapho uzozwa ukuthi bayakuthanda. Kuphela kuleli cala, abakwenzi.

U-Nandita uyanezela, “Ngakho-ke, phakathi nalezi zindlela zokuziphatha ezididayo emshadweni wakho, ungase ufise ukubhikisha lapho zingakuphathi kahle, kodwa uma nje seziqala ukukuqeda izenzo ezincane zothando, uyobe usuzihilela kuzo futhi ufise ukuzigcina ekuphileni kwakho, okwenza kube nzima kuwe ukubalekela ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic.”

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5. Ukuzithanda kwabo kuyabonakala

Esinye isibonelo sokuziphatha kokuzikhukhumeza ebudlelwaneni ukuthi noma abalingani bothando abazithandayo bezenza sengathi bayakuthanda noma bayakukhathalela, okuwukuphela kwento abayikhathalelayo yibo uqobo. Eqinisweni, ukuzikhukhumeza nokuzikhukhumeza kuyahambisana. Ngakho-ke, ungaweli kuleyo nkulumo emnandi abayixoxayo ngaphambi nje kokuba bakudinge ukuthi ubenzele okuthile. Lokhu kuwukukhohlisa nje kothando.

UNandita uyanezela, “Into efunwa umuntu othanda ukuzenzela umathanda wena iwukuba uzondle.

Kuhlala kumayelana nokuthi babengumfundi okhaliphile kangakanani esikoleni, ukuthi banomsebenzi oholela kahle kangakanani, nendlela abantu abamncoma ngayo. Bathanda ukuqhosha ngabo, futhi kuhlale kumayelana nezimpumelelo zabo.

6. Umuzwa wabo welungelo 'ungaphezulu phezulu'

U-Nandita uthi, “Olunye uphawu lokuziphatha ngendlela engafanele emshadweni umuzwa wokuba umlingani ongenangqondo unelungelo.” Ngakho-ke, ama-narcissists avame ukukholelwa ukuthi yonke into nawo wonke umuntu ukhona kubo futhi ubahlinzekele.

Ezimweni ezinjalo, akuyona into enkulu kubo uma ubaphekela isidlo abasithandayo noma ubagqokele izingubo zangaphansi ezihehayo. Abajabulile kakhulu noma abakubongi ngakho, ngoba banomuzwa wokuthi kuwumsebenzi wakho ukubajabulisa futhi banelise ubuyena babo. Ngeke bakwazise wena noma imizamo yakho. Eqinisweni, lokhu kungenye yezici ezijwayelekile zendoda noma inkosikazi enganaki.

7. Abanikezi ukusekela ngokomzwelo

UNandita ukholelwa ukuthi, “Emishadweni yesikhathi eside, abalingani badinga kokubili ukwaneliseka ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba ukuze baneliseke ngokuphelele ebuhlotsheni. Futhi umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ungowokuqala ukukhetha ukunganikeli ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo kumlingani wakhe. Eqinisweni, abanalo uzwela .” Ngakho-ke, ungase ungamtholi umlingani othanda ukuzikhukhumeza elalele ukukhononda kwakho ngokomzwelo noma ekunikeza inkulumo yokubonga noma izingxoxo ngokomzwelo lapho:

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• Uphansi nenkinga emsebenzini wakho
• Ubhekene nesikhathi esinzima sokubhekana nezifo zabazali bakho asebekhulile
• Unosuku olubi nje futhi ukhungethwe yimpilo nje jikelele

8. Abawamukeli umthwalo wemfanelo

Enye yezinkinga ezinzima kunazo zonke zomshado ezibonisa ukuzikhukhumeza ukuthi ngeke bamukele noma yimuphi umthwalo wemfanelo ngezenzo zabo. Lokhu futhi kungenye yezibonelo ezivelele zokuziphatha okubonisa ukuzikhukhumeza. UNandita uyanezela, “Umlingani obonisa ukuzikhukhumeza uzokubeka icala nganoma yini noma iyiphi inkinga eyenzeka ebudlelwaneni. Abazisoli futhi ngeke baxolise ngezenzo zabo. Kuhlala kuyiphutha lomunye umuntu.”

Ngakho-ke, kuyiphutha lakho uma umshado wakho ubhidlika ngenxa yezindlela zakhe zothando, ngoba hey, cishe awukwazanga ukugcina indoda yakho noma ungakhangi ngokwanele. Kuyiphutha lakho uma izimali zenu njengombhangqwana zincipha, ngoba kufanele unciphise izindleko zakho, futhi ukuvakasha kwakho okungahleliwe endaweni yokuphumula noma yezitolo akubalulekile njengezindleko zakhe.

9. Zidoba ukuze zibongwe

UNandita uthi, “Umuntu othanda ukubhuqa, ngisho noma eshadile, ungumuntu othanda ukunconywa.” Ngakho-ke, amazwi alula athi “Hey, ubukeka emuhle” evela kumngane angafika ekhanda lakhe futhi amenze acabange ukuthi ungumuntu okhanga kakhulu emhlabeni.

Ngisho nomjolo oshadile ubengayeki ukugqama ezinkundleni zokuxhumana noma emicimbini yokuxhumana, ngoba ubugagu bawo budinga ukuphakelwa yizincomo ezingahleliwe. Bayaphumelela ekuqinisekisweni kodwa abajabuli ngokweqile lapho benconywa, ngoba bakholelwa ukuthi bafanelwe ukunconywa. Bangase badlale ngothando ukuze bazizwe bekhethekile, njengoba ama-narcissists kanye nokukopela kuhambisana.

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10. Bathanda ukukhanyiswa ngegesi

Izici zokukhanyisa igesi ngaphezulu kohlu lwamaphethini okuhlukunyezwa kobudlelwane be-narcissistic. Ukukhanyisa igesi kulapho othile ekwenza ungabaze ukuphila kwakho kwengqondo ngokukhohlisa namanga, ukuze nje ubeke icala kuwe. Lena enye yezinkinga ezivelele zomshado we-narcissistic.

Futhi kungase kube yinto elula njengokuthi ukhohlwe ukuqoqa izingane esikoleni lapho umkakho okhulumayo ubengakakwazisanga ukuthi uzobe ematasa nabangani bakhe ngalolo suku. Umyeni one-gassistic narcissistic angase ameme abazali bakhe ukuba bahlale endaweni yakho inyanga yonke, bese akusola ngokusabela ngokweqile kulokho okungazelelwe.

11. Bayakukhohlisa

Umfazi noma umyeni othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ukuphatha njengethoyizi futhi ukukhohlisa kaningi ukuze azuze. Ngakho-ke, uma usebudlelwaneni obuseduze nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza, uzogcina usuhlangabezana nazo zonke izidingo zabo, ngaphandle kokuqaphela. Isibonelo, bangase bakubize ngokuthi “uyisiphukuphuku” noma njengomuntu “oswele” ukuze anciphise izidingo zakho futhi aveze ezakhe esikhundleni salokho, ukuze nje athole okufunwa yibo. Ngakho-ke, ungase wesabe kakhulu ukukhononda ngisho noma ubathola bedlala, funa bakushiye noma ubonakale uzizwa ucindezelekile futhi uswele kakhulu.

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12. Bangase bakuthule

Esinye sezikhali ezibulalayo kakhulu emshadweni othanda ukuzikhukhumeza yikuphathwa buthule . Ngakho-ke, noma nini lapho bengakutholi ngendlela abayifunayo, ukuzethemba kwabo okubuthakathaka kuyathinteka futhi bakuphoqe ukuthi usebenze ngokwezifiso zabo ngokukunikeza ukuphathwa buthule. Bangase basebenzise amanye amaqhinga afanayo okuhlukumeza ubudlelwano bokuzikhukhumeza, njengokuvala umnyango, ukuthuthela kwelinye igumbi, nokungazinaki imibono yakho ngokumomotheka noma ngokunikina amahlombe.

13. Bayakusabisa

Ngokuvamile, umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza angase akusongele ngokungavumelani nezifiso zakhe noma izidingo zakhe. Ngakho-ke, uma ubona umlingani othanda ukuzikhukhumeza esongela ukushiya ubuhlobo , ukunciphisa ukufinyelela kwakho emalini yakhe, noma ukuyeka ukukuvumela ukuthi uhlangane nabangani bakho, ngaphandle kokuthi wenze okuthile kubo, uyazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuhamba.

Omunye wabangane bami, u-Rita, wayenobuhlobo obuhlukumezayo nomdayisi. Umyeni wakhe wayegxile kakhulu emsebenzini wakhe kanye nesimo sakhe senhlalo futhi wayephatha uRita njengesithasiselo sokumphelezela emicimbini yokuzijabulisa. Wayevame ukumhleka usulu ngokuthi ukhuluphale futhi emsongela ngokuthi uzomshiya njalo uma enganciphi. Ekugcineni uRita wagcina ehlukanisile, njengoba ukuxhashazwa ngokomzwelo kwase kuyilimaze impilo yakhe engokwengqondo.

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14. Banehaba

Esinye sezici zokuzikhukhumeza ukuthi bahlala bekulungele ukulandisa kwabo okweqile. Ngokuthakazelisayo, ukweqisa kuhlala kukuhle uma ukulandisa kumayelana nabo, kuyilapho kuvame ukuba kubi uma kumayelana nabanye. Ngakho-ke, ukuphazamiseka okuncane kubo kuzokweqiswa njengephutha elikhulu.

Isibonelo, uma ugcina ukupheka isidlo futhi bacabanga ukuthi sibaba kakhulu, bangase benze sengathi bagula ngemva kokuthatha isidlo bese besola wena ngokubagulisa. Ngokunjalo, bazoga-ga ngalokho kunconywa okukodwa okungenzeka bakuthole kumngane emcimbini wokuzijabulisa. Bangase benze kube sengathi bantshontshe umbukiso emcimbini.

15. Basusa imizwa yabo engemihle

Akulona iqiniso ukuthi narcissists abazizwa. Yebo, bayakwenza. Nabo bangabantu. Ngakho-ke, ama-narcisists abaphatha kanjani abalingani babo lapho bona bezizwa bethukuthele, bedabukile, noma becindezelekile? Nokho, lapho ama-narcisists evame ukuzwa imizwa ebuhlungu noma engemihle, ayayisusa noma ayidlulisele kwabanye, ngokuvamile kubantu abaseduze nabo, njengabalingani babo.

Uma kwenzeka ushade ne-narcissist, bangase bazame ukukwehlisa isithunzi futhi bakwenze uzizwe unamahloni, uma bezizwa benamahloni. Lokhu kuzophinde kucekele phansi impilo yakho yengqondo.

Izindlela Zokushada Nomuntu Onama Narcissist Ziyakuthinta

Manje njengoba sesazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyilindele kumlingani oyisidina emshadweni, ungase uzibuze ukuthi umshado onjalo ungakuthinta kanjani. Phela akulula ukuba nomuntu ozikhukhumezayo nonomkhuba wokwehlisa isithunzi sabanye abantu abamzungezile.

Bheka indaba yomunye umsebenzisi we-Reddit , isibonelo. Uthi, “Ngasuka ekubeni yindoda eqinisekayo ngaba umuntu ongazethembi, ongazihloniphi, ohlala efuna ukujabulisa abantu, ohlala ezizwa enesizungu.” Futhi lo muntu uthi ubeshade nomuntu ozithanda ngokweqile iminyaka eyi-6 yonke. Nokho, yile ndlela umuntu ozithanda ngokweqile angathola ngayo ukuhlukumeza, futhi imishado enjalo ingabhubhisa ngempela ubuwena bakho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Nazi ezinye zemiphumela yesikhathi eside yokushada nomuntu ozithanda ngokweqile:

• Kuzokwenza ube nesizungu: UNandita uthi, “Kuzofika isikhathi emshadweni wakho lapho uzozizwa unesizungu ngoba esinye sezici zomuntu oshade naye othanda ukucasuka ukuthi mancane amathuba okuba baxhumane ngokomzwelo.” Futhi, bazokukhohlisa ukuze uhlale kude namalungu omndeni wakho nabangane. Lesi sizungu singakushiya nesikhala, futhi ungase uzizwe sengathi usemshadweni ongenaye umngane
• Kuzoqeda ukuzethemba kwakho: Yilokhu uNandita akubiza ngokuthi “ububi obukhulu kakhulu” bokuba semshadweni nomuntu onezinkabi. Konke ukukhanya kwegesi kanye nokushintshwa kwecala kuzogcina kucekele phansi ukuzethemba kwakho. Lolu uhlobo olubi kakhulu lwe ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ukuthi umuntu angahlangana nakho, futhi uyohlale wesaba ukusabela noma ukwenza izwi lakho lizwakale. Lokhu kungase kubangele ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo okungalungiseki futhi
• Uzozithola uhamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda: I-Narcissism kanye ne-codependency kuyahambisana. Eqinisweni, umshado onama-narcissist ungase ube namandla omzali nengane, lapho uhlala wesaba ukuthi uzocasula umlingani wakho futhi angase akushiye unomphela. Lokhu kukhathazeka okuqhubekayo kungase kuphazamise isimo sakho sempilo yengqondo futhi kubangele ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo okubi kakhulu

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• Uzozithola ubajabulisa njalo: UNandita uthi, “Esinye sezici ezigqamayo zomngane womshado onochuku ukuthi angabonisa ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo ukuze ahlangabezane nezidingo zakhe. Ngenxa yalokho, izidingo zakho zingase zinganakwa noma zinganakwa ngokuphelele, okuholela kokukhulu izinkinga zempilo yengqondo
• Zonke izingxoxo zizophenduka izingxabano: Omunye wemiphumela yesikhathi eside yokushada ne-narcissist ukuthi ngeke ibe nezingxoxo ezivulekile nezithembekile. U-Nandita uyanezela, “Zonke izingxoxo ezigxekayo, ezifuna ukuba balungise izindlela zabo, zizogcina ngokuphikisana, njengoba ama-narcissists ekuzonda ukwamukela noma yini embi ngabo.”
• Uzoxhashazwa ngokomzwelo: Njengozakwethu, amanga avamile e-narcissist, lapho bedinga ukufihla iqiniso ukuze bakulawule ngezidingo zabo zobugovu kuzokwenza uzizwe uxhashazwe ngokomzwelo. U-Nandita uthi, “Ukukucekela phansi ngokomzwelo kuzokwenza umlingani othanda inzondo azizwe ejabule futhi kuzondla ubugovu bakhe, kushiye isimo sakho sengqondo silimale unomphela.”
• Ungahlukunyezwa ngokomzimba: Kube nemininingwane cwaningo kumthelela wentukuthelo ye-narcissistic odlameni lwasekhaya. Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo namazwi kungathuthukela ekubeni nodlame olungokomzimba, uma i-narcissist inenhliziyo encane futhi.

Indlela Yokubhekana Nomlingani WaseNarcissist - Izindlela Eziyisi-7 Zokubhekana Nazo

Njengoba konke okushiwo futhi kwenziwa mayelana nomthelela womlingani othanda umshado emshadweni wakho, kuyiqiniso futhi ukuthi ukusika ilungu lomndeni le-narcissistic, ikakhulukazi umlingani wempilo, kunzima kakhulu, ngisho noma ubona zonke izimpawu ze-narcissistic personality disorder. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abantu obathandayo bangase bakutshele ukuthi ujwayelane nabo, ngoba izingxabano nezingxabano ziyingxenye yabo bonke ubudlelwano obunempilo.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, uNandita uthi, “Ngaphambi kokuthi ubize umlingani wakho ngokuthi ungumuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza, kufanele uqaphele izici ezivamile zokuzikhukhumeza futhi uqaphele izimpawu ezibonakalayo zokuzikhukhumeza. Qonda indlela yobudlelwano bokuzikhukhumeza . Ungacabanga kuphela ngokubhekana nokuzikhukhumeza uma uqiniseka ukuthi bangabantu abathanda ukuzikhukhumeza abavamile.” Ngakho-ke, uzibuza ukuthi ungasinda kanjani uma ushade nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza? Nazi izindlela eziyisikhombisa ezikutshela ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokushada nomuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza:

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1. Shesha ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwezindaba eziyiqiniso nezingelona iqiniso

Kubalulekile ukugcina ingqondo yakho iphilile phakathi kokukhohliswa ngokomzwelo kanye nokuhlukunyezwa emshadweni onomlutha. U-Nandita uyasikisela, “Kufanele ufunde ukuthola ukuthi yiziphi izindaba ezifanele isikhathi sakho nokuthi yimiphi imiphumela yokukhohlisa ngokungenangqondo futhi zibangelwa ukuziphatha okubi komlingani wakho.” Ukulwa ne-narcissist ezindabeni ezingamanga kungandisa ukuhlupheka kwakho.

2. Khulumisanani

Ngenkathi usebenzelana nephethini yobudlelwano be-narcissistic, kubalulekile ukuzenza wena kanye nezidingo zakho zizwakale. Qala ukuxhumana lapho nje ubona izimpawu ezincane ze-narcissistic personality disorder. UNandita uyeluleka, “Funda ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi zonke iziteshi zakho zokuxhumana zicacile futhi akukho ukungabaza kwakho.”

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3. Ungawafaki ngaphakathi amazwi alimazayo kanye namabi

Uma usazibuza ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokushada ne-narcissist, indlela engcono kakhulu ukungazinaki zonke izinkulumo zabo ezihlambalazayo. U-Nandita uyasikisela, “Funda ukungakufaki ngaphakathi ukubhuqa, ukugconwa, noma ukuphawula okuhlabayo okutholayo ngenkathi ulwa nomuntu obhuqayo.” Kubalulekile ukuqina futhi uzigcine uvikelekile ekuhlaselweni yi-narcissist. Ngakho-ke, zigweme noma unciphise ukuxhumana lapho zizama ukukwehlisa isithunzi.

4. Gcina imingcele enempilo

Uyazibuza ukuthi ungathatha kanjani ukulawula kude ne-narcissist? Ukusebenzelana ne-narcissist kudinga ukuthi uzenze uqonde. U-Nandita uthi, “Kufanele wenze izinga lakho lokubekezelelana laziwe kumlingani wakho. Gcina imingcele eqinile nenempilo futhi uyidlulisele ngokucacile kumlingani wakho. Nansi indlela ongakwenza ngayo lokho:

• Funda ukuthi “Cha” kwezinye zezimfuno zabo ezingenangqondo nokudinwa. Ungaxhumani nawe izinsuku ezimbalwa, uma kudingeka
• Ungahlali udela izifiso zakho ukuze uhlangabezane nezabo
• Uma ungathandi ihlaya noma inkulumo eklolodayo, batshele
• Memezela ukuziphatha kwabo kobugovu

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izibonelo Eziyi-19 Zemingcele Enempilo Ebudlelwaneni

5. Yabelana ngokuhlukumezeka kwakho nenethiwekhi ethembekile

Ungalahlekelwa ukuxhumana nomndeni wakho nabangani nganoma iyiphi indlela. Khumbula, umuntu othanda ukuzikhukhumeza ufuna lokho kanye - ukukuhlukanisa nabathandekayo bakho, ukuze uhlale uyisisulu sezifiso zabo nezifiso zabo. UNandita uthi, “Ungazifihli izinkinga zakho zobudlelwano. Yabelana ngazo nabathandekayo bakho abangakunikeza ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo nanoma yiziphi ezinye izindlela. Futhi, yakha obunye ubudlelwano obunempilo .”

6. Yakha isithombe esihle sakho

Khumbula, isikhali esibi kakhulu se-narcissist sikukhohlisa ngokomzwelo ukuze ukholwe ukuthi ukhona ukuze ubasize. Bafisa ukukwenza uzizwe unecala ngokunakekela impilo yakho. Ngakho-ke, yakha ubuwena, esikhundleni sokuxabana nomuntu okhuluma yedwa. Yenza izinto ezikujabulisayo, joyina izifundo ezintsha, ubuyise izinto zokuzilibazisa ezindala obuzithandayo, futhi uhlanganyele nabantu.

U-Nandita uyeluleka, “Yiba nesibindi futhi ube nesibindi. Phila impilo egcwele ukuzethemba futhi uzenzele isithombe esihle esithuthukisa ukuzethemba kwakho.” Lena indlela yokususa ukulawula ku-narcissist.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-11 Zokutshela Umuntu Othanda Ukuzikhukhumeza Ukuthi Uqedile Nawe

7. Xhumana nochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo

Okokugcina, ayikho enye indlela yokufuna ukwesekwa kubeluleki noma ukuya kokwelashwa kwemibhangqwana ngesifo sobuntu esibangelwa ukuzikhukhumeza uma usazibuza ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomuntu ozikhukhumezayo. Ngakho-ke, uma uzizwa ulahlekile uzama ukubhekana nezidingo ezingenangqondo zomlingani ozikhukhumezayo kanye nokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo, ungangabazi ukufuna ukwelashwa kubeluleki. Abeluleki abangochwepheshe beBonobology balapha ukuzokusiza.

Ngakho-ke, okwamanje, sithemba ukuthi awuzibuza ukuthi yiziphi izimpawu nemiphumela yokushada nomuntu ogulayo. Sithemba futhi ukuthi manje usuyazi ukuthi ungasinda kanjani ekushadeni nomuntu odla izindwani, ulawule ukufutheka kwabo, noma ubhekane kahle nezingxabano nomuntu odla izidakamizwa. Khumbula ukuziphatha kwe-narcissistic kanye nobudlelwano abenzi inhlanganisela enhle.

Ukusinda ekuhlukumezekeni kokubhekana nendoda noma inkosikazi edla igesi futhi ekhohlisayo akulula. Khumbula, kuhle ukuzama ukulungisa isibopho esilinyazwe ukuxhashazwa kwe-narcissistic, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, udinga ukunquma ukuthi ubuhlobo kufanele bukulethele injabulo. Futhi uma ukuziphatha komlingani wakho wokunganaki kulimaza noma kukulimaze ngaphezu komkhawulo wakho, kungcono ucabange kabusha isibopho sakho futhi uyeke uma uthanda. Phela nawe unendaba.

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

Ukulungisa Ubudlelwane Obunobuthi - Izindlela Ezingu-21 Zokuphulukisa NGOKUBAMBA

Izibonelo Eziyi-15 Zokukhohlisa Ebudlelwaneni

Ingabe I-Stonewalling Abuse? Ungabhekana Kanjani Ne-Emotional Stonewalling?

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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