3 Amakhono Abalulekile Okusindisa Umshado Wakho Nokumisa Isehlukaniso

Ziningi izindlela zokusindisa umshado uma uqala ukubhidlika.

• Izincwadi zobudlelwano
• Ukwelashwa kombhangqwana
• Izikhombo
• Ukwelashwa kwe-Tantric karma…

Ingabe ikhona indlela “engcono kakhulu”? Eminyakeni eyishumi yami njengomelaphi onelayisensi, ngithole ukuthi ezinye izindlela zisebenza kangcono kunezinye.

Isibonelo, izifundo eziningi zithi ukwelulekwa ngomshado kunezinga lempumelelo elingu-70%. Kodwa-ke, uma ujula ezinambeni, ubona indaba ehlukile idlala. Impumelelo kulolo cwaningo ichazwa umphumela omuhle ngokomzwelo. Kwakungahlobene nokuthi imishado isindisiwe noma cha.

Isibonelo, olunye ucwaningo olulandelela luthole ukuthi ama-50% emibhangqwana ecindezelekile azoba nomshado othuthukisiwe nowanelisayo iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-4 ngemva kokwelulekwa. Ama-10% kuya ku-20% engeziwe emibhangqwana azohlala ndawonye yize engajabule.

Izilinganiso zesehlukaniso ngemva kokwelulekwa komshado zihluka kakhulu. Kukhona, ngokwesilinganiso, isilinganiso sama-40% sesehlukaniso sangemva kokwelulekwa. Uma wenza izibalo lapha, uhhafu kuphela wemibhangqwana evamile ezothola umphumela omuhle ngemva kokutshala iminyaka emi-4 ekwelashweni. Iseshini eyodwa ivamise ukuba ngu-$100. Ngakho-ke kufanele usebenzise u-$4,400 ngonyaka X iminyaka engu-4 = $17,600. Ukuze ube nohlobo oluthile lokutshalwa kwezimali olungcono, usenethuba elingu-40% lokuhlukanisa. Ingabe ikhona indlela engcono, futhi kungani ukwelapha kungasebenzi?

Kungani Ukwelapha Kungakhiqizi Njalo Imiphumela

Lapho ngivame ukuhlala ngaphesheya kwabashadile, ngangiqaphela izitayela ezimbalwa ezazivela njalo.

• Ngangikwazi ukuchitha ihora elilodwa kuphela ngesonto ngibasiza

Ake sithi unesifo esibi futhi esibulalayo esasikubulala kancane kancane. Wabe usutshelwa ukuthi ungavakashela udokotela kuphela ukuze asize ekwelapheni leso sifo ihora elilodwa ngesonto. Uyazi ukuthi uma uchitha isikhathi esiningi nodokotela, ukugula kwakho bekuzophola ngokushesha.

• Ukwelulekwa ngomshado kugxile ezinkingeni

Siqeqeshwe ukubheka amanxeba adlule, ukuhlukumezeka kokunamathelana, nezinkinga ebudlelwaneni . Lokhu kubaluleke kancane, kodwa kugxila kakhulu esikhathini esidlule. Yilokhu iseshini evamile engabonakala kimi nombhangqwana onenkinga.

"Kulungile bafo, sisanda kukhuluma ngengxabano yenu enkulu ngempelasonto. Lokhu kusobala ukuthi kuvela kuwo womabili amanxeba okukhula. Asingene sijule kulokho kuhlukumezeka ngesonto elizayo."

Sobabili mina nombhangqwana sasishiya iseshini sizizwa sidangele futhi singenalutho. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi sachitha ihora lonke sinquma amagatsha esihlahla.

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Besidinga ukuya empandeni.

Ngokwesibonelo, lapho amadoda ezwa izizathu zokuthi kungani umkawo afuna ukubashiya, ngokuvamile kuba izinkinga zemali, ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi emsebenzini nokuntula ukusondelana. Ngakho-ke, ngokwemvelo, indoda iqala ukufika ekhaya kusenesikhathi ne-bouquet ukuze inonge izinto.

Lokhu kumthukuthelisa kakhulu unkosikazi ngoba ekubona kuwubuqili. Uyehluleka ukubona isizathu sangempela sokuthi umshado usuphelile nokuthi uzowulungisa kanjani.

Ukwembula kanye nokulungisa izinkinga zempande kuholela ekutheni;

1. Ukuxhumana okuthuthukisiwe
2. Ukusondelana okwengeziwe
3. Ukwazisana

Ngakho, uzithola kanjani izinkinga eziwumsuka womshado wakho, futhi yiziphi izixazululo ozisebenzisayo ukuze uzilungise?

Kufanele uqale ngokuhlonza izidingo ezingafezeki zomlingani wakho. Nazi izimpawu zezidingo ezingafezeki:

1. Iningi izingxoxo zikhula zibe izingxabano kanye nokuhilizisana ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacile
2. Umlingani wakho uqala ukuba nezindawo ezihlukene zempilo yakhe ngaphandle kokukutshela
3. Baqamba amanga ngezinto ezingasho lutho, ezibonisa ukuntula ukwethenjwa noma ukunganeliseki
4. U-90% wezingxoxo ugxile ezingxoxweni ezingokoqobo njengezingane nezindaba zezezimali

Uma okukodwa noma konke lokhu kwenzeka ebudlelwaneni bakho, isidingo esisodwa se-CORE asihlangabezwa. Ngikubiza ngokuthi “Usizo Olungenakuphikiswa”.

Kusho ukuthi ukulungele ngokuphelele ukusiza umlingani wakho lapho ekudinga. Kukangaki umlingani wakho ekucela ukuthi umenzele umusa omncane, futhi uthi, "Ngizofinyelela kukho."

Isikhathi sizohamba, futhi ucabanga ukuthi umlingani wakho uyakhohlwa, futhi mhlawumbe bayakwenza ngokuqaphela. Nokho, ekujuleni kwenhliziyo, sekuphelile ukubangela imizwelo, futhi bayaqaphela ukuthi abanakuthembela kuwe.

Ukungahlangabezani nalesi sidingo esibalulekile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuholela ekutheni;

1. Ibanga elingokomzwelo
2. Ukuntula uthando
3. Ukusondelana okunciphile
4. Ukwanda komunyu

Ukuhlangabezana nalesi sidingo usuku nosuku kuholela ekuphepheni okwengeziwe ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo.

Ake ngihlanganyele nawe ukuthi uDaniel wawuguqula kanjani umshado wakhe ngokuhlangabezana nalesi sidingo esiyinhloko nomkakhe ngemva kokusebenza nami. Ekuhambeleni kwethu kokuqala sindawonye, ​​uDaniel wayethukile futhi ecishe ehlengezela izinyembezi.

Wangitshela ukuthi umkakhe wayenodonga olungokomzwelo phambi kwakhe. Wamtshela ukuthi, “ Umshado usuphelile , futhi akukho ongakwenza ngakho.”

Ngamsiza ukuba aqonde ukuthi wayesengqondweni yakhe ukuzizwa ngaleyo ndlela, kodwa kwakungasho ukuthi umshado wawusuphelile. Ngachaza ukuthi ekujuleni kwenhliziyo, wayenethemba lokuthi angenza izinguquko, futhi iqiniso lokuthi wayengakasifaki isehlukaniso laliwuphawu lwakhe lwethemba.

Uveze ngokucacile ukuntula kwakhe “Usizo Olungenakuphikiswa” ahlangatshezwana nalo eminyakeni edlule. Ngabe sengichaza amakhono ayisihluthulelo angu-3 ayewadinga ukuze afunde ukumbuyisela ezinsukwini ezingu-90 ezizayo.

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Amakhono Amathathu Abalulekile Wokusindisa Umshado Wakho

Lawa makhono amathathu okuxhumana asiza ukugcwalisa isidingo sozakwenu sokuxhumana nokuphepha. Ngemva kokuba lezo zidingo eziyisisekelo sezihlangatshezwane, kuba isisekelo sokwenza umshado ube ngcono kunangaphambili.

1. Uzwela olungokomzwelo ngokumelene nozwela lokuqonda

Ubuwazi ukuthi kukhona uhlobo oluhle nolubi lokuzwelana? Abantu abaningi basabela ngozwela olungokomzwelo. Lokhu kuhlanganisa ukuzwa lokho umlingani wakho akuzwayo.

Noma nini lapho umkaDaniel ecasuka, naye wayephatheka kabi, futhi izinto zazigcina ziba zimbi kakhulu. Umkakhe akakaze azizwe ephephile ukuveza nokuhlanganyela imizwa yakhe ngoba uDaniel wayegcina esabela njalo.

Esikhundleni sokuthi uDaniel acasuke lapho umkakhe enza, ngamtshela ukuthi avele abonise imizwa yakhe kuye kalula. Ngamtshela ukuthi lapho umkakhe ecasulwa okuthile akwenzile, kufanele amane athi, “Uzizwa ucasukile ngoba (isizathu sokuthi kungani).”

Yilokho kuphela!

Akudingeki ukuthi umxazululele izinkinga zakhe. Lalela nje . Ufuna ukuzwiwa. Leli khono likuvumela ukuthi uqonde imizwa yomlingani wakho ngaphandle kokubanjwa. Ungaveza ukuqonda ngokucabanga ngemizwa yakhe, njengokukhungatheka noma intukuthelo. Uma ebona ukuthi uyayiqonda imizwa yakhe, uzozizwa eqinisekisiwe. Ukuqinisekiswa kwakhe kuzothuthukisa isisombululo esizolile nesinengqondo senkinga.

2. Ukuma kwelukuluku

Kaningi, sithatha 'inhloso' yezenzo zozakwethu. Lokhu kuholela ekungaqondini nasekucabangeni okuyiphutha. Kunalokho, udinga ukuthatha indlela enelukuluku lokufuna ukwazi ngezenzo zomlingani wakho noma izisusa zakhe. Buza imibuzo evulekile ukuze uqonde umbono wabo.

Gwema ukwenza ukuziphatha kwabo kube ngokwakho nokufuna ukuqonda izidingo nezifiso zabo. Le ndlela ikhuthaza uzwela, uzwela futhi yakha ukuxhumana okuqinile . Lena inkinga iklayenti lami uDaniel abhekene nayo lapho umkakhe ethi, “Ngiyakuthanda, kodwa angisakuthandi.”

Bashade iminyaka engu-17 nabafana ababili abaneminyaka engu-16 nengu-19. Wayesebenza kahle, wondla umkhaya wakhe, futhi ecabanga ukuthi konke kwakuhamba kahle. Wayazi ukuthi yena nomkakhe babekhula kancane kancane, kodwa wayengakaze acabange ukuthi angase aphelelwe uthando kuye.

Wethuka waqala ukusesha ku-inthanethi ukuze athole izimpendulo.

Izeluleko azitholile zazisukela kokuthi:

“Mnikeze isikhala futhi abe ngamadoda” ukuze “Ambhebhe ngothando nangothando lwansuku zonke.” Lokhu kwamane kwamenza waduka futhi wadideka. Lapho ezama ukubonisa umkakhe ukuthi uyashintsha kuye, kwabonakala sengathi uyahoxa.

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Wazizwa engenathemba ngokuphelele.

Inkinga uDaniel nabanye abantu abaningi ababhekana nayo lapho bezama ukusindisa umshado wabo ayiqhamuki nezixazululo. Lapho umkaDaniel evala umlomo phakathi nengxoxo, wayehlale ecabanga ukuthi ukhulume okungalungile.

UDaniel waqala ukuthatha isimo sokufuna ukwazi ngokubuza umkakhe, “Kwenzekani ngaphakathi kuwe?” Lokhu kuholele ekutheni avule isifuba athi empeleni ubesaba ukusho okungeyikho ukuze amcasule ngezikhathi lapho ethule. Lokhu kwaholela ekuqondeni okungcono phakathi kwabo.

3. Ukudala isitsha sakho

Ukudala isitsha kusho ukuba nokuqina ngokomzwelo. Kubalulekile ukugcina isikhala semizwa yomlingani wakho. Ukukhungatheka, ukulawula, noma ukunganaki kuzosebenza ngokumelene nentshisekelo engcono yobudlelwano. Unikeza ukwamukelwa nokusekelwa kwezidingo zomlingani wakho ngokumvumela ukuthi aveze imizwa yakhe. Leli khono lidinga ukuthuthukisa ingqondo eqinile phezu kwemizwa yakho. Uma umlingani wakho ezwa ukuthi uvikelekile emizweni yakho, kuzoba lula ngaye ukwabelana ngemizwa yakhe nawe.

Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, la makhono amathathu ashintsha izinga lomzwelo labuyela emuva ekuthandeni kukaDaniel nomkakhe. Waqala ukufeza izidingo zakhe ngokungaguquki, futhi ukwethembana kwakhiwa kabusha ngesisekelo esiqinile sokuphepha. Kwathatha amaviki angu-4 kuphela ukuthi umkaDaniel ashintshe umqondo wakhe ngomshado futhi afune ukulungisa izinto futhi naye.

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Iyini Isehlukaniso Sokulala Futhi Kungawusindisa Kanjani Umshado?

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.