Indlela Yokubhekana Nomlingani Ongalungile - Amathiphu angu-15 Asekelwe Ochwepheshe

Umngane womshado ongalungile kungase kube nzima futhi kucindezele ngokomzwelo ukubhekana naye. Uma umlingani oyedwa eqhubeka enokungathembeki, kungase kuthinte inhlalakahle evamile yabantu futhi kuphazamise ubuhlobo. Kodwa-ke, le nkinga ingase isingathwe futhi izinyathelo zithathwe ukuze kube nokuxhumana okwakhayo nokujabulisayo ngokuphikelela, ukuqonda, namakhono okuxhumana aphumelelayo.

Kulesi sihloko, sizoxoxa ngokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomuntu oshade naye ongemuhle nokuthi ungawakha kanjani injabulo, nokuguquguquka okukhulu emshadweni wakho. Ngokusebenzisa lezi ziphakamiso, ungaguqula ubudlelwano bakho futhi ukhuthaze indawo esekelayo, ukhuthaze ukuzindla kanye nokuxhumana okuvulekile. Khumbula ukuthi ukubhekana nokungabi nandaba kuhilela umsebenzi ovela kubo bobabili abathintekayo kanye nokuzinikela ekusebenziseni ukuzwelana nokuletha intuthuko. 

Uchwepheshe wethu, umqeqeshi wobudlelwano uNandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), ogxile kwi-CBT, i-REBT, kanye nokwelulekwa kwabashadile, ubhekana nezinkinga eziphathelene nabalingani abangebona abalingani futhi unikeza amathiphu akhe awusizo okubhekana nawo ngempumelelo.

Kuyini Negativity Ebudlelwaneni

Uzovame ukuthola abantu bekhononda, “Ukungalungi komlingani wami kuyangikhathaza.” Kungani lokho kwenzeka? Ukungalungi kobudlelwano kuchazwa njengendlela yokugxeka ephindaphindayo kanye nombono ovame ukungabi nathemba ongabeka engcupheni inhlalakahle yomzwelo kanye nokuxhumana komlingani. Kuhilela isimo sengqondo esigxile kakhulu ezindabeni, emaphutheni, kanye nokushiyeka. Ezimweni ezinjalo, abantu abafuni izixazululo noma bazise izimfanelo ezinhle zobudlelwano.

Sekukaningi sizwa abantu bekhala, “Umyeni wami uhlale engalungile futhi ethukuthele” noma “Umyeni wami akabonisi kahle ngayo yonke into.” Izinto eziguquguqukayo ngazinye njengezehlakalo ezingezinhle zangaphambili, izinkinga ezingokwengqondo ezingaxazululiwe, ukuzethemba okuphansi, noma ingcindezi eqhubekayo konke kungaba nomthelela ekungabini nathemba. Izimo zengqondo ezingezinhle ekuhlanganyeleni zingase futhi zithonywe yizimbangela zangaphandle, njengezinkinga zezimali, imisebenzi ecindezelayo, noma izinkinga zempilo.

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Izizathu zokuthi kungani oshade naye ethanda ukungalungi

UNandita uthi, “Izimo zengqondo ezimbi zivame ukuvela ezinhlotsheni ezintathu eziyinhloko: ukungabi nandaba okuqondiswe kuwe, lapho abantu bengenalo ukuzethemba; ukungabi nandaba kwabanye, lapho begcina khona ukungathembani noma inzondo; kanye nokungabi nandaba emhlabeni wonke, lapho umbono wokungabi nathemba ufinyelela khona emhlabeni wonke. Ukuqonda lezi zigaba kungasiza ekubhekaneni nezinkinga ezahlukahlukene eziyisisekelo.”

Ingabe uvame ukuzithola u-googling, "Ungahlala kanjani nomlingani ongalungile?" Kubalulekile ukuhlola ngokucophelela izici ezimbalwa ukuze uqonde ukuthi kungani oshade naye ethanda ukungabi nathemba. Sonke siyazi ukuthi kuyintela kanjani ukubhekana nomuntu ohlale enento engeyinhle angakusho. Nazi izincazelo ezimbalwa ezijwayelekile zemizwa engemihle yomlingani wakho:

• Izipiliyoni ezedlule: Njengendlela yokubhekana nesimo, abantu abaye baba nokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu, okudumazayo, noma okungaphumeleli bangase babe nombono ongenathemba ekuphileni.
• Ukucindezeleka: Ukuzabalaza no-a indoda cranky? Uma umlingani wakho engaphansi kwengcindezi enkulu, kungase kuthinte isimo sakhe somzwelo futhi kumenze abe mubi kakhulu
• Ukuchema kwengqondo: Umlingani wakho angase acheme ekucabangeni kwakhe. Uma benokuchema okungathandeki, kubenza babeke phambili imiphumela emibi noma izehlakalo ngaphezu kwalezo ezinhle.
• Izinkinga ezingaxazululiwe: Izinkinga zomuntu siqu noma zobudlelwano ezingaxazululiwe zingase zibe umthombo oqhubekayo wokungeneliseki. Bangengeza nasekuphelelweni ithemba
• Izimo zempilo yengqondo: Ukudabuka nokukhathazeka kungabonisa njengezimpawu eziqhubekayo zokungabi nandaba, ezikhomba esimweni sempilo yengqondo esicashile. Ngisho nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo ezicashile zingaba inkinga enkulu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi
• Isitayela sokuxhumana: Umlingani wakho angase athambekele ekusebenziseni iphimbo elibi lapho ekhuluma futhi eziveza. Ukuphatha buthule kungase kusebenze noma kungasebenzi lapha
• Izici zemvelo: Ukucindezeleka emsebenzini, izinkinga zemali, noma izimo zokuphila ezingajabulisi ziyizibonelo zamathonya angaphandle angase abe nomthelela omubi kumlingani wakho nesimo sakhe sengqondo.
• Ukuntuleka kwamakhono okumelana: Uma umlingani wakho engenalo ikhono lokubhekana ngokuphumelelayo nobunzima bempilo, angase abe nombono wokuphelelwa ithemba ngokuzenzekelayo.
• Izici zobuntu: I-pessimism kanye ne-introversion yizici ezimbili zobuntu ezingaba nomthelela ekubeni nombono ongemuhle kakhudlwana

Ukubhekana nobubi ebudlelwaneni kudinga ukuxhumana okuvulekile nokwethembeka, ukuba nozwela kakhulu , kanye nokuzimisela ukusebenza ndawonye. Kuhilela ukucabangela imizwa yomlingani wakho nokwenza isimo esihle nesisekelayo, ukuphonsela inselelo imicabango nokuziphatha okubi kobudlelwano, kanye nokufuna usizo lochwepheshe uma kudingeka. Ngokubhekana nobubi, imibhangqwana ingakha ubudlelwano obunempilo nobanelisayo obusekelwe ekwethembaneni, ukuqondaneni, kanye nenhlonipho.

UNandita uthi, “Lapho umngane womshado oyedwa enethonya, umlingani wakhe angase abe nemicabango engemihle kanye nokwehla kokuzethemba ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Lokhu kuguquguquka kungalimaza ubuhlobo. Ukukhulumisana okukhululekile, ukwesekana, nokufuna usizo lochwepheshe kungaba nomthelela ekubhekaneni nalezi zinselele ngendlela eyakhayo.”

Izimpawu Zomuntu Oshade Naye Omubi

Ukungalungi kungaba njengomlutha. Njengoba umbono wabo wokuphelelwa yithemba ungathinta ukuguquguquka okuvamile kobudlelwano , noma yibuphi ubuhlobo nomuntu ongemuhle bungaba nzima futhi bukhathaze ngokomzwelo. Ukuze ubhekane nale nkinga ngendlela efanele, kubalulekile ukuqaphela izinkomba zesixwayiso zomlingani onobuthi. Nakuba ukungalungi ngezinye izikhathi kuvamile, izindlela zokuziphatha ezingezinhle eziqhubekayo zingalimaza inhlalakahle yengqondo yabalingani bobabili. Ukuqaphela lezi zimpawu kuzokusiza uqonde ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomlingani ongemuhle, futhi uthathe izinyathelo zokwakha ubuhlobo obujabulisayo nobunenjongo:

1. Ukuhlala bethola iphutha ebuhlotsheni babo

Umuntu angathola abantu bethi, “ Intukuthelo yomkami ibhubhisa umshado wethu .” Umlingani ongemuhle angase agxeke futhi athole amaphutha njalo kumlingani wakhe. Ngokuvamile bakhathazeka kakhulu ngamaphutha futhi abaqapheli noma bawazise izinzuzo zawo.

2. Ukuphelelwa ithemba 

Umngane womshado onenhliziyo embi uvame ukulondoloza isimo sengqondo sokungabi nathemba ekuphileni futhi uthambekele ekucabangeni okubi kakhulu ezimweni eziningi. Bahlale begxile ezithiyo kunamathuba.

3. Umdlalo wecala

Imiphumela yokugxekwa njalo emshadweni ayilungile kunoma yiliphi iqembu. Ukusola abanye ngokungajabuli noma ukunganeliseki nokukhononda ngokweqile kuyizindlela ezimbili lapho ukungajabuli kungabonakala khona. Ungakuthathi lokho kungalungi mathupha futhi ungakwamukeli ukusolwa.

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4. Ukuntula ukwazisa

Umngane womshado onenhliziyo embi angase akuthole kunzima ukuveza ukwazisa kwakhe ngemizamo nezenzo zomlingani wakhe. Bangase bathathe izinto kalula futhi banganaki izinzuzo zokuxhuma.

5. Ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo

Ukungalungi kungabangela ukungazinzi kwemizwelo, okungase kubonakale njengokuguquguquka kwemizwa, ukucasuka, noma ukufutheka kokuqhuma. Lezi zinguquko ezingokomzwelo zingase zenzeke ngokuzumayo noma ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

6. Ukuntula ukukhula

Abantu abangalungile bavame ukuphikisa ukukhula komuntu siqu , ukuzindla, kanye nezinhlelo zokuthuthukisa bona noma ubudlelwano babo. Bangase bangabaze ukucela usizo noma ukucabanga ngemibono ehlukile.

I-7. Ukuhoxiswa

Umngane womshado onenhliziyo embi angase ahoxise ngokomzwelo, akhulele kude, futhi azihlukanise nobuhlobo. Bangazihoxisa bona noma bagweme izimo zomphakathi, okwenza umlingani azizwe enesizungu.

Indlela Yokubhekana Nomlingani Ongalungile - Amathiphu angu-15 Asekelwe Ochwepheshe

Uma uvame ukuzithola uthi, “Ukungabi nalutho komlingani wami kuyangiqeda amandla,” qhubeka ufunda. Yonke inhlalakahle yobudlelwano ingaba nomthelela omubi ngokuba nomlingani ongemuhle. Ezimweni eziningi, ukusebenzisana okukodwa nje okungalungile usuku lonke kungaba ukudonsa okunjalo. 

Siqoqe iziphakamiso ezingu-15 ezivunyelwe ochwepheshe zokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomlingani ongemuhle. Lezi ziphakamiso zihlanganisa izindlela zokwakha ubudlelwano obungcono nobunokuthula, okuhlanganisa ukuxhumana, uzwela, ukubeka imingcele , kanye nokuzinakekela ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ongemuhle. Uma ushade nomuntu ongemuhle, uzoba nobudlelwano obujabulisayo nobuzuzisayo ngokusebenzisa lawa masu, ungase usebenzele ukuthuthukisa impilo yakho neyomlingani wakho engokomzwelo.

1. Qonda umbono wabo 

Ngokuzwelana nowakwakho, ulwela ukuzifaka ezicathulweni zabo futhi uqonde izizathu ezibangela ukunganaki kwabo. Uma bezizwa becindezelekile, kungase kuhlobane nezinto ezenzeka esikhathini esidlule noma ezinye izici zomuntu siqu. Ukuqonda umbono wabo kukusiza ukuba ubhekane nesimo ngozwela nozwelo, ukhuthaze ukuxhumana okujulile.

2. Khuthaza ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile

Akekho othandayo lapho umlingani wakhe ecasuka kakhulu ngezinto ezincane. Ukudala indawo ephephile nengahluleli kubalulekile ekukhulumisaneni okuphumelelayo. Nobabili wena nomlingani wakho kufanele nizizwe nikhululekile ukuveza imizwa yenu , ukukhathazeka kwenu, kanye nokukhungatheka kwenu, ngaphandle kokwesaba ukugxekwa noma ukuzivikela. Ukulalela ngenkuthalo kuhilela ukunaka, ukucacisa, nokuphendula ngozwela emazwini omlingani wakho, ukukhombisa ukuthi niyawazisa umbono wakhe.

U-Nandita uyachaza, “Ngokunakekela nokuzwela, ungakwazi ukuqondisa umngane womshado ongalungile ukuba abone izimo ngendlela ehlukile. Ngokunikeza ezinye izindlela zokubheka ngobumnene, ungase ubasize bahlele kabusha umbono wabo, uthuthukise umbono omuhle kakhudlwana nokusebenzisana okunempilo ebuhlotsheni. Ukukhulumisana okuphumelelayo kungaba nendima ebalulekile ekuthuthukiseni ukuqonda nokuhlala kahle ngokomzwelo.”

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3. Gxila kokuhle

Ungahlala kanjani ulungile eduze komlingani ongemuhle? Ngakho-ke, ukusebenzelana nomuntu onokucabanga okuphambene akulona ihlaya, futhi ukungabi nandaba kwabo ngokuvamile kubangelwa ukugxila okuvamile ezinkingeni noma ukushiyeka. Khuthaza oshade naye ukuthi agxilise ukunaka kwakhe ezicini ezinhle zokuphila kwakhe kanye nobudlelwano bakho. Ukugubha impumelelo encane, ukuzwakalisa ukubonga, kanye nokwazisa izinto ezinhle ekuphileni komngane wakho womshado kungawulungisa kancane kancane umqondo wabo futhi kukhuthaze umbono wokulindela okuhle. Bacele ukuthi banqande ukucabanga kwabo okungalungile.

Ngokusho kocwaningo , “u-5:1 isilinganiso somlingo sokusebenzisana okuhle nokubi.” UJohn Gottman, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseMelika kanye noSolwazi Osemusha Wezengqondo eNyuvesi yaseWashington, usho okufanayo kumbono wakhe wokulinganisela . Ngokusho kukaJohn Gottman kanye nozakwabo lokhu kusho ukuthi kuyo yonke imizwa noma ukuxhumana okubi phakathi kwabalingani, kumele kube nemizwa noma ukuxhumana okuhle okuhlanu. Ngakho-ke, gxila ezintweni ezinhle.

4. Msekele

Udidekile ngokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomfazi othukuthele? Ukuntuleka kokusekelwa kungenye yemiphumela yokugxekwa njalo emshadweni . Yazisa oshade naye ukuthi ukulungele ukumsekela. Nansi indlela ongakwenza ngayo lokho:

• Ukutholakala kwe-Express: Ukuveza ukutholakala kwakho kungasiza umlingani wakho azi ukuthi ukhona ukuze amsize futhi uzimisele ukunikeza kokubili ukusekela ngokomzwelo nokungokoqobo
• Qinisekisa imizwa: Ukuze ubonise uzwela, qinisekisa imizwa nokuhlangenwe nakho komngane wakho womshado. Ukwengeza, vuma ukuhlupheka kwabo futhi ubazise ukuthi uyazi ngezinkinga zabo
• Ukuzibophezela nokuqinisekisa: Phinda eyakho ukuzibophezela emshadweni kanye nokulungela kwenu ukunqoba izithiyo njengeqembu ngokulandela isiqubulo esithi “Zibophezele Ekubambisaneni.”
• Phromotha okuhle: Yazisa ukuthi usizo lwakho lungakunikeza indawo ephephile nenenduduzo eyogcina isize umlingani wakho ukuba ashintshele ekubeni nombono omuhle kakhudlwana kanye nezimo ezinempilo zomshado.

Ukwesekwa kwakho kunganikeza umuzwa wokulondeka nokunethezeka, okubenza bakwazi ukuba nombono omuhle kancane kancane. UNandita uyasikisela, “Ukubonisa uzwela, ukuphikelela, ukubekezela, nokuqaphela kungaba usizo ekusebenzelaneni nomngane womshado ongemuhle.” Lezi zimfanelo zibonisa ukuqonda, ukuzimisela, nozwela, zakha indawo lapho umngane womshado ongalungile ezizwa ehlonishwa futhi esekelwa, okungase kuholele ekuthuthukisweni kokukhulumisana kanye nombono omuhle ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.”

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5. Beka imingcele

Abantu bavame ukufuna usizo lokuthi bangaphila kanjani nomuntu oshade naye ongemuhle. Nakuba kubalulekile ukusekela, kubalulekile ngokufanayo ukumisa imingcele enempilo ukuze uvikele inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo, ikakhulukazi uma uhlala nomngane womshado ongeyena. Khuluma ngezidingo zakho futhi wazise oshade naye ukuthi ukungabi nandaba kwabo kukuthinta kanjani. Imingcele isiza ukuqinisekisa ukuthi bazizwa bekhungathekile futhi abadli ukuqiniseka kwakho. Thola ukulingana phakathi kokusekela nokuzinakekela.

UNandita uthi, “Lapho usebenzelana nomngane womshado ongemuhle, kubalulekile ukuchaza imingcele yakho ngokucacile, uqiniseke ukuthi ulondoloza ukuzihlonipha.” Nakuba ubonisa uzwela ezinkingeni zabo, khumbula ukuthi ukulondoloza inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo kubaluleke ngokufanayo. 

"Ukuchitha isikhathi ebudlelwaneni obuhle kanye nasezindaweni zokuxhumana nabantu kunganikeza indawo yokusekela ukukhula komuntu siqu. Ukuxhumana okwakhayo nabantu abanethemba kunikeza ukulinganisela ezinseleleni ezibangelwa umlingani wakho. Le ndlela ikunika amandla okubona ubunzima bobudlelwano ngomusa, ukuzethemba, kanye nombono olinganiselayo."

6. Khuthaza ukuzindla

Ukubhekana nomlingani ongemuhle? Siza oshade naye ukuthi abone futhi acabange ngamaphethini akhe angalungile kanye nokuziphatha. Bakhuthaze ukuthi bahlole umthelela ukungaboni kahle kwabo okunawo kubo kanye nasebudlelwaneni. Ngokuzazi, bangaqala ukuqonda ukuthi indlela abacabanga ngayo nokuziphatha kwabo kunomthelela ngayo ekuguquguqukeni okuphelele. Lokhu kuzicabangela kungasebenza njengesisusa soshintsho futhi kubakhuthaze ukuba babe nombono oqondile kakhudlwana.

7. Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Ingabe uhlala ucabanga ukuthi, “Umyeni wami unesihluku ngakho konke”? Uma lesi simo esingesihle siqhubeka futhi sithinta kakhulu ubudlelwano bakho, futhi usala uzibuza ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomlingani wakho onesimo esingesihle, kungaba usizo ukufuna usizo kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo noma kumeluleki womshado. Bazokutshela ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomlingani wakho onesimo esibi . Laba ochwepheshe baqeqeshwe ukukuqondisa ezimweni ezinzima futhi basize izingxoxo ezakhayo. Bangakunikeza ukuqonda, amasu, kanye namasu okusiza wena nomlingani wakho nibhekane nesimo esingesihle futhi nisebenzele ebuhlotsheni obunempilo.

UNandita uthi, “Ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kufanele kubhekwe njengento ebalulekile lapho usebenzisana nomuntu oshade naye ongemuhle uma imizamo yakho yokuthuthukisa isimo ngokukhulumisana ngokukhululekile, uzwela, kanye nemingcele yomuntu siqu iye yabonakala ingasebenzi isikhathi eside. 

Uma ukungabi nandaba kuthinta kakhulu inhlalakahle yakho engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo, kubangela ukucindezeleka, futhi kuphazamisa ubuhlobo ngezinga elingenakulungiseka, kungase kube isikhathi sokubandakanya umelaphi noma umeluleki. Ubuchwepheshe babo bungahlinzeka ngemininingwane engachemile, amasu asebenzayo, nendawo ephephile yabo bobabili ozakwethu ukuze baxazulule izinkinga eziwumsuka futhi basebenzele ekuguquguqukeni okunempilo. Khumbula, ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe akulona uphawu lokwehluleka kodwa kuyisinyathelo sokuxazulula izinselele.”

8. Yenza kube nomoya omuhle

Uzibuza ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nomlingani ongemuhle ngenkathi usekhaya? Dala indawo ekhaya ekhuthaza ukwaneliseka nokukhuliswa. Yenza imisebenzi eletha injabulo nokuhleka empilweni yakho. Hlela ukuphuma okujabulisayo, bukela ama-movie noma imibukiso ehlekisayo ndawonye, ​​jabulelani impilo, noma nihlanganyele ezintweni enizithandayo nezintshisekelo zemibhangqwana . Lokhu kusiza ukudala izinkumbulo ezinhle futhi kuqinise isimo sengqondo esihle ebuhlotsheni benu.

9. Prakthiza ukubonga

Ungamvalela kanjani umlingani ongemuhle? Ukuhlala nomlingani ongemuhle kungaba umsebenzi onzima. Kodwa ukuhlakulela umkhuba wokubonisa ukubonga kungashintsha kakhulu ukugxila ezintweni ezimbi kuye ekwaziseni. Khuthaza umlingani wakho ukuba agxile ezintweni ezinhle empilweni yakhe kanye nezici ezinhle zobudlelwano benu. Lokhu kungenziwa ngezingxoxo zansuku zonke noma ukugcina incwadi yokubonga. Ukubonisa njalo ukwazisa ngezimfanelo, izenzo, kanye nemizamo yomunye nomunye kuqinisa isibopho futhi kukhuthaza ukucabanga okuhle. Bheka ezinye izindlela zokuthi ungamgxeki kanjani umlingani wakho:

• Qaphela ukuthambekela kwakho kokugxeka nokuzijwayeza ukucabangela lapho ukhuluma nomlingani wakho
• Uma ufuna ukugxeka, yima kancane bese uqoqa imicabango yakho ngaphambi kokukhuluma
• Esikhundleni sokugxila emaphutheni omlingani wakho, naka izici zabo ezinhle namaphuzu aqinile
• Sebenzisa amagama athi 'Mina' kunokusola noma ukugxeka ukuze ukhulume ngokuzolile nangenhlonipho lokho okukufunayo nokukukhathazayo.

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10. Khuthaza ukuzinakekela komlingani wakho ongemuhle

Ubani othanda abayeni grouchy? Asazi, futhi nawe akufanele. Thuthukisa imisebenzi yokuzinakekela wena nowakwakho. Nawa amanye amathiphu:

• Bakhuthaze ukwenza imisebenzi yomzimba: Bakhuthaze ukuthi bahlanganyele emisebenzini ethuthukisa ukuphila kwabo siqu, njengokuphishekela izinto abazithandayo, ukuvivinya umzimba njalo, ukuzindla, noma ukuzibandakanya emisebenzini okubasiza ukuba baphumule futhi bashaje kabusha
• Dala imigomo engokoqobo: Basize ekwakheni izinhloso ezilawulekayo ukuze bazizwe befezeke kakhudlwana
• Dala indawo ezolile: Yenza umoya wekhaya lakho uzole. Yenza umoya opholile, faka umculo ophumuzayo, noma ukhanyise amakhandlela

Ukuzinakekela ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo, nangokomzwelo kungaba nengxenye emcabangweni omuhle nenjabulo iyonke. Gwema noma yimiphi imicabango engemihle.

U-Nandita uyasikisela, “Ngomusa thula ukuzinakekela koshade naye ongemuhle. Xoxa ngezinzuzo zako nokuthi kungayithuthukisa kanjani inhlalakahle yabo. Nikeza ukusekelwa ekuhloleni izinto ezithuthukisa isimo sengqondo esihle nokuphumula. Gcizelela ukuthi ukuzinakekela kungathuthukisa ikhono labo lokubhekana nezinselele futhi kube nengxenye ebuhlotsheni obunempilo obushukumisayo.”

11. Inselele imicabango engalungile

Siza oshade naye aqaphele imicabango nezinkolelo zabo ezimbi, kuyilapho ulondoloza amandla akho. Nawa amanye amathiphu:

• Isikhuthazo sibala: Bakhuthaze ngokusebenzisana okuhle nokuncoma
• Benze bacabange: Buza ubuqiniso bale micabango engemihle futhi ucabangele eminye imibono 
• Babonise uhlangothi olukhanyayo: Bafundise ukuthi bangazihlela kanjani kabusha izimo ezingezinhle ngokugxila ezisombululweni ezingaba khona kanye namathuba okukhula kunokubhajwa emjikelezweni wokungabi nandaba.

Le nqubo yokuhlela kabusha ingqondo ingasiza ekuguquleni umqondo wabo ube nombono omuhle nowakhayo.

12. Hola ngesibonelo

Ingabe uvame ukuzithola uthi, “Umyeni wami uhlala enombono ongemuhle futhi ethukuthele”? Yiba yisibonelo esihle ngokugcina isimo sengqondo esihle ngenkathi ubhekene nomlingani ongemuhle. Hlala unombono omuhle futhi ubonise oshade naye izinzuzo zokuba nombono omuhle nokuthi kungawuthuthukisa kanjani ubudlelwano bakho kanye nenjabulo iyonke. Bonisa ukuqina lapho ubhekene nezinselele futhi uphendule ezimweni ezimbi ngomqondo omuhle nowokucabanga. Isimo sakho sengqondo esihle singakhuthaza futhi sishukumisele oshade naye ukuba asebenzise indlela efanayo.

U-Nandita uphakamisa ukuthi, “Hola ngokubonisa njalo ukuziphatha okuhle, ukukhulumisana, nokulawula imizwelo. Bonisa uzwela, ukulalela ngenkuthalo, nokuqina lapho ubhekene nezinselele. Hlakulela indawo esekelayo ngokuzijwayeza ukuzinakekela, ukubeka imingcele, nokukhuthaza imizamo yabo. Izenzo zakho zingakhuthaza futhi zibe nomthelela endleleni ocabanga ngayo nokuziphatha kowakwakho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.”

13. Yakha inethiwekhi yokusekela

Wake wazibuza ukuthi yini engazwakala njengamagama omlingo kumuntu ongemuhle? Nokho, akukho lutho ngaphandle kokuthi “Ngilapha ngenxa yakho.” Noma nini lapho oshade naye ezizwa kabi, mkhuthaze ukuba axhumane nabangani , umndeni, noma amaqembu okusekelana. Mvumele abelane ngolwazi lwakhe futhi athole ukwesekwa kwabanye abake babhekana nezinselele ezifanayo. Ukuba nenethiwekhi yokusekelana kubanika ithuba lokuveza imizwa yabo, bathole imibono ehlukene, futhi bathole isikhuthazo. Kunganciphisa nemizwa yokuzihlukanisa futhi kunikeze umuzwa wokuba ngumuntu obalulekile.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Ezingu-21 Zokuthi Indoda Yakho Inezinkinga Zolaka Nokuthi Ingabhekana Kanjani Nazo

14. Bungaza inqubekelaphambili

Vuma futhi ugubhe noma iyiphi inqubekelaphambili eyenziwa oshade naye ekutholeni umbono omuhle kakhudlwana. Ukuqinisa okuhle kuyithuluzi elinamandla lokushintsha ukuziphatha. Lapho uqaphela oshade naye enza imizamo yokubekela inselele imicabango yabo engemihle noma ehileleka ekuziphatheni okuhle, bonisa ukwazisa kwakho futhi uqokomise ukukhula kwabo. Ukugubha inqubekelaphambili kuqinisa ugqozi lwabo lokuqhubeka endleleni eya empumelelweni. 

15. Gcina ukuzinakekela

Uma usazibuza ukuthi ungamvalela kanjani umlingani wakho ongemuhle, ake sikutshele ukuthi ukunakekela inhlalakahle yakho ngokomzwelo kubalulekile kulo lonke lolu hlelo. Bamba iqhaza emisebenzini ekunika amandla futhi ikuvuselele. Funa ukwesekwa kubangani noma amalungu omndeni, noma ucabangele izikhathi zokwelapha noma ukwelulekwa uma kudingeka. Ngokubeka phambili ukuzinakekela kwakho, uqinisekisa ukuthi unamandla ngokomzwelo nokusekela umlingani wakho ngempumelelo.

UNandita uthi, “Ukuzijwayeza ukuzinakekela lapho usebenzelana nomngane womshado ongemuhle kubalulekile enhlalakahleni yakho. Beka izidingo zakho kuqala ngaphandle kokuba necala. Beka imingcele ukuze uvikele indawo yakho engokomzwelo. Zibandakanye emisebenzini oyijabulelayo, xhumana nabangane abasekelayo, futhi ucabangele nokwelulekwa. Khumbula, ukuzinakekela kukwenza ukwazi ukubhekana nezinselele kangcono futhi ugcine umbono onempilo.”

Kungase kube nzima ukubhekana nozakwenu ongemuhle, kodwa ngendlela efanele namasu okusebenza, kungenzeka ukwakha ubudlelwano obunenjongo nobuhle. Izixazululo eziyi-15 ezigunyazwe ngochwepheshe kulesi sihloko zinikeza usizo lokuxazulula le nkinga. Ungase wakhe indawo ephephile nekhuthazayo yakho nobabili wena noshade naye ngokuhlanganyela uzwela, ukusekela ukukhulumisana okukhululekile, nokubeka imingcele efanele.

Ukubhekana nezimbangela eziyisisekelo zokungabi negathi kwabo kungenziwa lula ngokukhuthaza ukuqiniseka nokuzicabangela. Uma kunesidingo, ungakhetha nosizo lochwepheshe. Ukwenza ukuzinakekela kube yinto yokuqala futhi kuqinisekisa impilo yakho yomzwelo phakathi nenqubo. Khumbula ukuthi ushintsho luthatha isikhathi nokuthi bobabili abalingani kufanele babe nesineke, baqonde, futhi bazibophezele ekuthuthukiseni isibopho sabo.

17 Izimpawu Ezibuhlungu Umyeni Wakho Akasakuthandi

Izinto Eziyi-11 Ezenzeka Uma Umuntu Wesifazane Ephelelwa Isithakazelo Endodeni Yakhe

Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Ezidabukisayo Umshado Wakho Uphelile

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