Ubudlelwano Nomfazi Womyeni - Amathiphu Ochwepheshe ayi-9 Wokubuthuthukisa

Ubudlelwano benkosikazi yomyeni bufana nomdanso okhohlisayo odinga ukulinganisela, ukusebenzelana, nesigqi. Kufanele wazi ukuthi uhole nini futhi nini ukulandela, futhi ngezinye izikhathi udinga ukushintsha izinto phakathi nengoma. Umshado ophelele ufana neMacarena, kodwa indlela eyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu.

Ngezinye izinsuku, wena nozakwenu niyavumelana, futhi yonke into izwakala sengathi iyahamba. Ngezinye izikhathi, kufana nokuthi ninyathelana phezu kwezinzwane zomunye nomunye, futhi nivele ningakwazi ukukulungisa. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, kwenzeka kuwo wonke umuntu.

Ukhiye wokuyenza isebenze ukuthola leyo ndawo emnandi lapho nobabili ninethezeke futhi nizwana. Kuthatha isikhathi, isineke, nokuzilolonga okuningi, kodwa ngomzamo omncane, ungakha umdanso ongowakho okhethekile. Nokho, yiziphi izici ezibalulekile ekuzuzeni lo mdanso obucayi? Futhi uma uthola lezo zici, ungazenza kanjani zibe ubuhlobo obuqinile, obanelisayo, nobuhlala isikhathi eside? Ake sithole.

Yini Ebaluleke Kakhulu Ebudlelwaneni Nomfazi Womyeni?

Umshado uhambo oluhle, kodwa akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukwakha ubudlelwano obuphumelelayo phakathi kwendoda nomfazi kudinga umzamo, isineke, nokuqonda. Nakuba umbhangqwana ngamunye uhlukile, kunezici ezithile ezibalulekile emshadweni onempilo nowanelisayo njengalezi:

• Ukuxhumana
• Trust
• Inhlonipho
• Ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo
• Intimacy

Lezi zakhi ziwusizo futhi lapho ubhekana nezinkinga zobudlelwane bomyeni nomfazi. Ngokuqonda lezi zici ezibalulekile futhi uzibeke phambili ebuhlotsheni bakho, ungakha umshado ophelele ohlala ukuphila kwakho konke.

1. Ukukhulumisana kuyisihluthulelo sobuhlobo obuphumelelayo bendoda nomfazi

Ukukhulumisana okuhle kuyiqiniso hhayi nje emibhangqwaneni eshadile kodwa nakuzo zonke izinhlobo zobudlelwano ezikhona emphakathini wesintu. Kubalulekile ukuthi abalingani babambe isikhala esivulekile somunye nomunye. Ucwaningo luthi ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwendoda nomfazi, imibhangqwana ekhulumisana ngokukhululekile nangendlela ephumelelayo inamathuba amaningi okuba nomshado ophumelelayo, owanelisayo nojabulisayo.

Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa nokuthi imibhangqwana ehlanganyela ekukhulumisaneni okwakhayo, njengokulalela ngenkuthalo nokubonisana uzwela, ibika amazinga aphezulu okwaneliseka kobudlelwano kanye nokusondelana. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, imibhangqwana ehlanganyela ezindleleni zokuxhumana ezimbi, njengokugxeka, ukwedelela, kanye nokuzivikela, inamathuba amaningi okubhekana nezingxabano nokunganeliseki emshadweni.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinkinga Zokuxhumana Ebudlelwaneni - Izindlela Eziyi-11 Zokunqoba

2. Isisekelo sokwethembana siyisici esibalulekile sobuhlobo bothando

Esinye isici esibalulekile ekuphileni komshado okunempilo ukwethembana phakathi kwendoda nomkayo. Ukwethembana kudlala indima ebalulekile ekugcineni impilo yomshado enempilo, ikakhulukazi ekusebenzelaneni kwansuku zonke kanye nokwenza izinqumo. Imibhangqwana ethembanayo ingase ibe nomshado owanelisayo, oqinile futhi ozinzile.

Ucwaningo luphinde lwabonisa ukuthi imibhangqwana enamazinga aphezulu okuthembana ibika ukwaneliseka okukhulu ebuhlotsheni, ukuzibophezela, kanye nokusondelana. Kusobala futhi ukuthi ngokuthembana, amathuba okuba umyeni angakhohlise abanye anciphe kakhulu.

3. Ukuhloniphana kuwumgogodla ogcina injabulo yangempela

Inhlonipho ehlangene nayo ibalulekile ekwakheni umshado ophumelelayo nojabulisayo. Imibhangqwana ehlonipha imibono yomunye nomunye, izindinganiso, kanye nemingcele kungenzeka kakhulu ukuba nesibopho esanelisayo nesichumayo. Uthando oluhlangene lukhuthaza umuzwa wokuphepha nokulondeka ebudlelwaneni, okuvumela umlingani wakho ukuba azizwe eyigugu futhi ehlonishwa. Ekugcineni, lwakha isisekelo senjabulo yangempela emshadweni futhi luyinhlaka ebamba ubudlelwano ngisho nasezikhathini ezinzima.

4. Ukwakha ukusekela ngokomzwelo

Ukusekelana ngokomzwelo kubalulekile emshadweni. Uma oshade naye enomuzwa wokuthi akakwazi ukuxhumana nawe noma ukuthembela kuwe ngezikhathi zakhe zobuthakathaka, khona-ke angase aqale ukuzizwa ehlukanisiwe futhi ahlukane nawe. Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi imibhangqwana enikeza ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo kubalingani bayo inamathuba amaningi okuba nomshado ozinzile nowanelisayo. Lapho bobabili abalingani besekelana amaphupho nezifiso zomunye nomunye, kukhuthaza nomuzwa wenhlonipho nokwethembana okuyisisekelo sanoma yimuphi umshado onempilo.

Indlela engcono kakhulu yokwakha ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo yilapho indoda ibamba isandla somkayo ngezikhathi ezinzima, futhi okuphambene nalokho. Ukudala indawo ephephile nekhulisayo yokuveza imizwa nezidingo zakho kukusiza uzizwe usekelwa futhi uthandwa. Ukuba khona komunye nomunye ngezikhathi zokucindezeleka, ukugula, noma izinguquko ezinzima zokuphila kungaqinisa isibopho sakho nokusondelana kwakho. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ngisho nasezimweni lapho kungase kube nokusolakala ukuthi umyeni uthandana nabanye.

5. Ngale kwekamelo lokulala - Ukusondelana ngokomzimba kuqinisa impilo yomshado

Ukusondelana ngokomzimba kuyisici esibalulekile sencwadi yemithetho yobudlelwano bomyeni nenkosikazi. Akukhona nje ngocansi, kodwa futhi kuyindlela ehlukile yokubonakaliswa kothando phakathi kwendoda nenkosikazi. Ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi imibhangqwana ebeka phambili ukusondelana ngokomzimba, njengokugonana, ukugonana, nokuqabulana, ibika amazinga aphezulu okwaneliseka ebuhlotsheni kanye nenhlalakahle iyonke.

Ubudlelwane obujwayelekile phakathi kwendoda nomfazi embhedeni nakho kuyasiza kulokhu:

• Ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka
• Ukuthuthukisa isimo
• Ukwandisa imizwa yokusondelana nokuxhumana
• Ukusungulwa ukukhangana, intshiseko, nokholo

Ngokubeka lezi zici kuqala ebuhlotsheni bakho obungokomzwelo, obungokomzimba, nobobulili, ungakha umshado oqinile nowanelisayo. Kubalulekile ukuthi indoda ibambelele emshadweni futhi iqhubeke ithuthukisa ubuhlobo, kanjalo nomkayo. Kumelwe benze isikhathi somunye nomunye, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubusuku bezinsuku ezivamile, izingxoxo ezibalulekile, noma ukwabelana ngolwazi. Ngokutshala imali ebudlelwaneni bomuntu futhi abeke phambili lokho okubaluleke kakhulu, umuntu angakha ukuxhumana okujulile nokuhlala njalo nomuntu ashade naye okuletha injabulo yangempela nokwaneliseka ezimpilweni zabo bobabili.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Amathiphu Ochwepheshe Okuthi Ungakhulisa Kanjani Ukusondelana Okungokomzimba Ebudlelwaneni

Ubudlelwano Nomfazi Womyeni - Amathiphu Ochwepheshe ayi-9 Wokubuthuthukisa

Uma usunabantwana, kungaba nzima ukusebenza kulezi zici ezilandelayo. U-Esther Perel, isazi sezengqondo esidumile, uthi ukuba nomntwana kuyinguquko enkulu yengqondo ethinta yonke into nawo wonke umuntu. Izinto eziza kuqala ziyashintsha, izindima ziyachazwa kabusha, futhi ibhalansi phakathi kwenkululeko nomthwalo wemfanelo iguqulwa kakhulu. Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuzindla ngalokho okudingwa ubudlelwano bakho uma usunabantwana bese ulungisa amaphuzu angezansi ukuze uhlangabezane nalezo zidingo.

Nawa amathiphu angu-9 ochwepheshe angakusiza ukuthi uqinise isibopho sakho futhi udale impilo eyanelisayo negculisayo ndawonye. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi nisanda kushada noma senineminyaka ndawonye, ​​lawa macebiso azokusiza ukuba wakhe ubuhlobo obungamelana novivinyo lwesikhathi.

1. Zijwayeze ukulalela ngokucophelela

Ukulalela ngentshiseko kuyisici esibalulekile sokukhulumisana okuphumelelayo ebuhlotsheni bomfazi wendoda. Ukulalela ngentshiseko kuhilela okungaphezu nje kokuzwa amazwi ophathina wakho - kudinga ukuthi uhlanganyele ngokugcwele nalokhu akushoyo futhi ubonise ukuthi uyayiqonda futhi uyayihlonipha imizwa kanye nemibono yakhe. Uma umlingani wakho enomuzwa wokuthi akazwiwa ngumuntu oyedwa obaluleke kakhulu kuye, angase azizwe enqatshiwe noma engabalulekile, futhi lokho ngeke kube uphawu lobudlelwane obunempilo bendoda nomfazi.

Ukulalela ngenkuthalo kungaba yinselele, ikakhulukazi uma imizwa iphezulu noma ingxoxo inzima. Kodwa-ke, ngokuzijwayeza leli khono njalo, ungathuthukisa ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho futhi wakhe ubudlelwano obuqinile. Ngakho-ke, ngesikhathi esizayo nixoxa, khumbula amaphuzu alandelayo:

• Banike ukunaka kwakho ngokugcwele
• Bonisa ukuthi uyayazisa imicabango nemizwa yabo
• Qinisekisa umbono wabo

2. Khuluma ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka

Ukukhulumisana okuvulekile nokwethembeka kuyisisekelo sobudlelwane bomyeni onempilo nonkosikazi. Kwakha isisekelo sokwethembana phakathi kwendoda nomfazi, futhi kungakusiza uzulazule ezimweni eziyinselele kakhulu ebudlelwaneni.

Uma bobabili abalingani bevulelekile futhi bethembekile komunye nomunye, bangakha isisekelo esiqinile nesithembanayo esingabasiza babhekane nanoma yiziphi izinselele ezibavelelayo. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi uxoxe ngezidingo zakho, imizwa yakho, kanye nokulindela kwakho nomlingani wakho ngokucacile nangenhlonipho, futhi ukhuthaze omunye ukuba enze okufanayo nawe. Ngokwenza kanjalo, ungakha uxhumano olunenjongo oluhlala impilo yonke.

3. Bekani kuqala isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye

Ukwenza isikhathi somunye nomunye njalo kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokulondoloza ubuhlobo obuqinile nobunempilo phakathi kwendoda nomkayo. Ngamashejuli omsebenzi amatasa, imisebenzi yasekhaya, neminye imithwalo yemfanelo, kungaba lula ukuvumela isikhathi esiseqophelweni eliphezulu nomlingani wakho siwele eceleni. Nokho, ukuhlela isikhathi somunye nomunye kungasiza ekuqiniseni umshado wenu futhi kukhuthaze imizwa yokuba ndawonye nsuku zonke, ngisho nalapho nihlukene.

Ngokubeka isikhathi esibalulekile (kufaka phakathi ubudlelwano phakathi kwendoda nomfazi embhedeni) kanye nokuzibandakanya emisebenzini eniyijabulelayo nobabili (mhlawumbe njengobusuku bokuqomisana), ningakha ubudlelwano obuhle nobunganelisayo obuhlala isikhathi eside. Ngakho-ke, qiniseka ngalokhu okulandelayo:

• Zinikeni isikhathi sobabili njalo
• Yiba khona ngokugcwele ngesikhathi nindawonye
• Zinike isikhathi sokuzibandakanya ebudlelwaneni obuseduze
• Yeka amagajethi akho uma nindawonye

4. Bonisa uthando nokwazisa

Empilweni yomshado, izenzo ezincane zothando nokwazisa zingenza umehluko omkhulu. Uma uzinika isikhathi sokubonisa umlingani wakho ukuthi uyamthanda futhi uyamazisa ngezenzo zokucabangela, amazwi anomusa, kanye nokuthintana ngokomzimba, ungathuthukisa ukuxhumana kwenu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma umlingani wakho ezwa ukuthi awumthandi noma awumthandi ngokwanele, khona-ke angase aqale ukukholelwa ukuthi awumthandi ngokwanele ukuba umthande noma umkhathalele.

Ungalubona uthando phakathi kwendoda nomkayo ngezenzo zomusa, ukuncoma, ubuhlobo bobulili, nothando olungokomzimba. Lezi zenzo ezincane zingase zibukeke zingasho lutho, kodwa zingasiza ekwakheni isimo esihle nesisekelayo, futhi zikusize wakhe ukuxhumana okujulile nomngane wakho womshado.

Ezinye izibonelo zansuku zonke zokuthinta okunjalo yilezi:

• Ukushiya inothi lothando noma ukuthumela umlayezo wombhalo ocabangayo phakathi nosuku
• Ukulungiselela ukudla okuthandayo noma ukuphatha, ngenxa nje yokuthi
• Ukunikeza ukuncoma okuqotho kokuthile umlingani wakho akwenzile noma akuzuzile
• Ukuthi “ngiyakuthanda” kaningi futhi kuqondile

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Eziyi-16 Zokubonisa Uthando Kumlingani Wakho

5. Zijwayeze ukuthethelela

Ukuthethelela kuyisithako esibalulekile ebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo, obunothando, nobunempilo. Uma uthethelela umlingani wakho ngamaphutha akhe, uyakwazi ukudedela noma yikuphi ukucasuka noma ukucasuka okungenzeka kukubambezele ekubeni nguwe ophelele ebudlelwaneni.

Enye indlela yokuzijwayeza ukuthethelela lapho kunezinkinga zobudlelwano bomyeni nomkakho ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile nangokwethembeka nomlingani wakho ngemizwa yakho. Uma umlingani wakho ekuphathe kabi, kubalulekile ukumtshela ngobumnene ukuthi izenzo zakhe zikuthinte kanjani futhi uveze isifiso sakho sokuqhubekela phambili ndawonye. Lokhu kungasiza ekwakheni umuzwa wokuqonda nozwela phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho futhi kungavula indlela eya ekuthetheleleni nasekuphulukisweni.

6. Hloniphani ubuntu bomunye nomunye

Ukuvumela umlingani wakho ithuba lokuphishekela izintshisekelo zakhe kanye nemigomo yakhe kungasiza futhi ekukhuthazeni umuzwa wokuzimela kanye nokuzethemba kubo bobabili abalingani. Uma unenkululeko yokuhlola izintshisekelo zakho, imigomo, kanye nezintshisekelo zakho, ungathuthukisa umuzwa onamandla wokuzicabangela futhi uthole ukuqonda okukhulu kwamandla akho kanye nobuthakathaka bakho. Lokhu kungaholela ekuzethembeni okukhulu, ukuzethemba, kanye nomuzwa omkhulu wokwaneliseka kokubili empilweni yakho yomuntu siqu kanye neyomsebenzi.

Ukuhlonipha ubuntu bomlingani wakho kuyisici esibalulekile semithetho yobudlelwano bomyeni nomfazi. Izokwenza i-dynamic ibe yindawo ephephile yabo bobabili ozakwethu.

7. Bambisana emisebenzini yasekhaya

Ukwabelana ngemisebenzi yasekhaya kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile ekwakheni ubuhlobo obuphumelelayo nobulinganayo. Lapho bobabili abalingani benikela emisebenzini yasekhaya, kuthuthukisa umuzwa wokubambisana nokuhloniphana. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukwabelana ngomthwalo wemisebenzi yasekhaya kungasiza ekudambiseni ukucindezeleka futhi kuthuthukise izinga lempilo lilonke labo bobabili abalingani.

Kubalulekile futhi ukuqaphela ukuthi ukwahlukaniswa kwemisebenzi yasekhaya kungashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kuye ngezidingo zomndeni. Isibonelo, uma omunye umlingani ebhekene nesikhathi esimatasa kakhulu emsebenzini, omunye umlingani angadinga ukwenza umsebenzi owengeziwe ngaleso sikhathi.

8. Zibekeleni imigomo ndawonye

Ukubeka imigomo ndawonye kuyindlela ephumelelayo yokwakha umuzwa ofanayo wenjongo nesiqondiso ekuphileni komshado. Bobabili abalingani kufanele bazizwe sengathi basebenzela okuthile okunenjongo. Lokhu kungathuthukisa imizwa yobumbano nokusebenzisana.

Ukusebenzela imigomo efanayo kungasiza ekuthuthukiseni ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni bomyeni nomkakho. Ngokuxoxa njalo ngentuthuko yomuntu ngamunye kanye neyombhangqwana, ningathuthukisa amakhono okuxhumana angcono futhi nifunde ukuthi ningasebenzisana kanjani ngempumelelo nangobumnene njengeqembu.

9. Funa usizo lochwepheshe lapho kudingeka

Kungase kube nezikhathi lapho ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kuyadingeka ukuze kuxazululwe izinkinga futhi kuthuthukiswe ukuguquguquka. Imibhangqwana eminingi ibhekana nezinselele kanye nezingxabano abangakwazi ukuzixazulula bodwa, futhi uchwepheshe wezokwelapha noma umeluleki anganikeza isiqondiso nokusekelwa okudingwa ubudlelwano ngokushesha. Kwa-Bonobology, sinikeza usizo lochwepheshe ngephaneli yethu yabeluleki abanelayisensi abangakusiza ukuthi uqale indlela eya ekululameni.

Ngokugxila kulezi zinto ezincane ekuphileni kwenu kwansuku zonke ndawonye, ​​ningasebenzela ukwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile nomngane wakho womshado. Ngisho nezenzo ezincane zomusa nokucabangela zingahamba ibanga elide ekuboniseni uthando nokwazisa kwenu komunye nomunye.

Khumbula, ubudlelwano bomyeni obunempilo nobujabulisayo bukhula kahle, njengewayini. Ngokulandela lawa macebiso ochwepheshe nokwenza umzamo, ungakha ubudlelwano obuzohlala isikhathi eside. Futhi ngubani owaziyo, mhlawumbe ngelinye ilanga uzoba nguwe onikeza abanye imibhangqwana iseluleko sobuchwepheshe. Nansi indlela yenu ende nejabulisayo ndawonye.

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7 Okuyisisekelo Sokuzibophezela Emshadweni

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.