Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Zowesifazane Wenani Eliphezulu - Amathiphu Okuthi Ungaba Nganjani

Lokhu kungikhumbuza ukuthi “Muhle futhi unomusa, unguMiss United States…” Ngokuphambene nenkolelo evamile, owesifazane onenani eliphezulu akayena owawina umncintiswano wonobuhle noma unkulunkulukazi ongafinyeleleki. Ukuba munye akubandakanyi ukubhalisa ezinkambisweni zobulili obuvamile noma ukuba nezimfanelo zobuntu obungaphezu kobuntu. Eqinisweni, ungumuntu wakhe oyiqiniso kakhulu. 

Ngiyakuhalalisela uma uphokophelele ukufinyelela kulo mgomo - uhambo lokuba umuntu onenani eliphezulu lunothisa njengendawo okuyiwa kuyo uqobo. Kodwa kulula ukuduka kule ndlela ngolwazi olungamanga oluzungeza isihloko. Silapha ukuze siphendule izinganekwane ezimbalwa ngalolu hlu olukhethwe ngokukhethekile lwezimpawu zowesifazane onenani eliphezulu. Sithemba ukuthi ikunikeza ukucaciseleka okudingeka kakhulu embonweni wakho futhi iqondise ukufuna kwakho endaweni efanele.

Sizosebenza njengeqembu ukuze siphendule imibuzo emibili ebalulekile. Yini eyenza owesifazane abe yinani eliphakeme? Futhi ngingaba kanjani omunye? 3, 2, 1, bheka!

Uyini Owesifazane Wenani Eliphakeme?

Igama elithi 'owesifazane onenani eliphakeme' ngokuvamile liqondwa ngokuphathelene nokuphila kokuphola. Kubhekiselwa kowesifazane ofiselekayo indoda engafuna ukuba sebudlelwaneni bothando naye. Nokho, lezi zincazelo ziyi-archaic ekhulwini lamashumi amabili nanye. Sekuyisikhathi sokuthatha umbono ohlukile wokuba ngowesifazane onenani eliphakeme. 

Ubudlelwano obunempilo buhlanganisa abantu abanempilo. Bobabili abalingani baletha into ehlukile etafuleni; igalelo labo nendlela abaphila ngayo kwenza ubuhlobo bube obujabulisayo, obuhlukile, futhi bube nothando. Ngakho-ke, owesifazane ohlonishwayo uyindlela engcono kakhulu yakhe. Ungumuntu ozinzile futhi ohlala njalo onezimfanelo ezithuthukisa bonke ubuhlobo bomphakathi empilweni yakhe. Ngamafuphi - azikho izici zobuntu ezinobuthi futhi azikho izimpawu ezibomvu!

Ukuba ngowesifazane onenani eliphezulu kusho ukuqaphela amandla akho ngokugcwele. Ngokwengeziwe, uba umlingani okahle womunye umuntu. Uhlu lwethu lwalezi zici luzokusiza ukuthi ungene endleleni yokukhula komuntu siqu kanye nokuzithanda wena. (Lena akuyona neze incwadi yokuqondisa ekubeni umuntu wesilisa emthola ekhanga.) Bheka lezi zici ezingu-15 zezinkanyezi ezichaza owesifazane obaluleke kakhulu.

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Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Ezibalulekile Zomuntu Wesifazane Onenani Eliphezulu

Umbhali waseMelika kanye nesishoshovu uBell Hooks wabhala ngendlela edumile encwadini yakhe ethi, iCommunion, “Umuntu oyedwa ongasoze asishiye, esingasoze simlahlekele, yithina. Ukufunda ukuthanda ubuwena bethu besifazane yilapho ukufuna kwethu uthando kufanele kuqale khona.” Njengoba sishilo ngaphambili, sondela kulolu hlu ngenhloso yokuba umuntu ongcono, hhayi intombi. (Lona wakamuva ulandela ezinyathelweni zowokuqala)

Ake sidwebe isithombe esibanzi sezimpawu zomuntu wesifazane osezingeni eliphezulu. Asikwazi ukuba khona isifanekiso esilingana konke sokukhula; ngakho-ke, faka lezi zimfanelo ngesitayela sakho. Khumbula njalo ukuthi azikho izincazelo okufanele unamathele kuzo. Yiba ubumina bakho obukhazimulayo ngokungaxolisi. Sekwanele ngamazwi ethu eseluleko, ake siqonde ngqo embuzweni wehora: Yini eyenza owesifazane abe yinani eliphakeme? 

1. Uyazethemba 

Uzobona izimpawu zamadoda akhathazekile eduze kwakhe ngenxa yalokhu. Ukuzethemba kungenye yezimpawu zokuqala zowesifazane obalulekile. Uziphethe ngokuzethemba futhi, ungakubona lokho. Kunezindlela ezahlukene zokubonisa ukuzethemba futhi useziqondile zonke. Ulimi lwakhe lomzimba luqondile (akukho ndawo yokuzibamba) futhi inkulumo yakhe iqondile. Owesifazane obalulekile uzosebenzisa amandla amahle futhi asho umbono wakhe ngokucacile nangokufushane ngaphandle kokungabaza. Kalula nje, unokuzethemba okuningi. Uziqagela ngezikhathi ezithile kuphela.

2. Ukwazisa ukukhula 

Njengoba isisho sisho - akekho ophelele. Kodwa esikhundleni sokuvumela lokhu kumema ukuzithela ngabandayo, owesifazane onenani eliphezulu unezindinganiso eziphakeme. Unomqondo lapho egxile khona ekukhuleni. Unesifiso sangempela sokukhula. Ufuna ukukhula eyedwa nakuzo zonke ezinye izici ezifana nalezi:

• Ukukhula kwezimali
• Ukukhula ngokomqondo
• Ukukhula ngokomzwelo
• Ukukhula ngokomoya

Kungaba into elula njengokufunda ulimi olusha, ukunakekela inhlalakahle yakhe engokwengqondo, ukuba khona kwabanye besifazane namaphupho abo, noma ukuzama indlela entsha yokupheka. Ukuzama izinto zamanoveli nokufunda kulabo abaseduze kwakhe kuwuphawu lowesifazane onenani eliphezulu. Uma othile elungisa iphutha lakhe, ngeke azicabangele yena - kuyena, ulwazi luwuthisha ongcono kakhulu. 

3. Uzimele

Ukuzimela kungenye yezimfanelo ezinhle kakhulu zowesifazane obalulekile. Uzimele ngokuphelele kuzo zonke izinhlaka zokuphila. Ngokwemvelo, ukhangwa kuphela amadoda abalulekile. Uma ubona othile ethandana nowesifazane ozimele , ubudlelwano ngeke bubonise amaphethini okuthambekela kokuthandana. Bobabili abalingani bazojabulela ukuphila impilo engaphandle kwesizinda sothando. Ukuzimela kuhlale kuyisiqalo sokulingana. Usebenza kanzima futhi amandla akhe awakwazi ukuchitheka. Uzophatha wonke umuntu ngokulinganayo. Owesifazane obalulekile uyahamba lapho ezwa sengathi ukuzimela kwakhe kuncishisiwe.

4. Uzethemba kakhulu 

Ukuzihlonipha nokuzihlonipha kuyizinto ezibalulekile zobuntu. Asikwazi ukukhuluma ngezimpawu zowesifazane obalulekile ngaphandle kokubhekana nalezi zici ezimbili. Uthola incazelo nokwaneliseka ngaphakathi ngenxa yokuzikholelwa kwakhe okujulile. Unenhlonipho futhi uyazi ukuthi wanele, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani eduze kwakhe. Ungumuntu wakhe futhi uyazi amandla nobuthakathaka bakhe ngokwanele ukuba abuphathe ngendlela efanele. Le mfanelo imenza akwazi ukuhlala ezolile phakathi nezikhathi ezinzima zobudlelwano . Ukuzethemba kuyamthwala ezimweni eziphansi futhi kumholele ezimweni eziphakeme. Ngokwemvelo, umusa nesithunzi kuyalandela.

5. Iyiphi enye yezimfanelo ezinhle kakhulu zowesifazane onenani eliphakeme? Uzinzile ngokomzwelo

Omunye wemikhuba emihle yowesifazane oseqophelweni eliphezulu ukuthi uzinzile ngokomzwelo. Ngeke avumele imizwa yakhe imlawule. Uzoqinisekisa ukuthi uyena ophethe imizwa yakhe futhi ngeke enze noma yini ezolimaza ubudlelwano bakhe ngezikhathi zentukuthelo, ukukhungatheka, nobuhlungu. Akanandisa umdlalo futhi akawudali.

Uyicubungula imizwa yakhe ngendlela enempilo - ngaphandle kokuphika noma ukuhlala ngokweqile. Lo mkhuba onempilo umenza atholakale ngokomzwelo nangabathandekayo bakhe. Ukuzinza kwakhe kudala indawo ephephile nakumlingani wakhe. Ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo yikhwalithi eyigugu kuzakwethu; akekho ofuna ukuba sebudlelwaneni othambekele ekuguquguqukeni kwemizwa yasendle. Uncamela impilo lapho imizwa yakhe ibekwa phambili.

Nazi ezinye izimpawu zowesifazane ozinzile ngokomzwelo:

• Uzokwenza yenza ukuthula nesikhathi sakhe esidlule futhi siphile esikhathini samanje
• Uyokwakha izibopho ezijulile naye
• Uzoyilawula imizwa yakhe engemihle
• Uzothi cha ezilingweni

6. Uziphendulela  

Ayikho into emnandi njengokuvuthwa. Futhi owesifazane ongamelana namaphutha akhe ungowesifazane onenani eliphezulu. Uma ucabanga ngakho, izibopho ezinempilo kunazo zonke ezimpilweni zethu yilezo lapho ukuxazulula izingxabano kulula khona. Uzibophezela noma nini lapho enephutha. Ukungavumelani ngakunye akukhuli kube yimpi futhi ukulwa ngakunye akuzali isimo sokufuna noma sokufa. Lokhu kwenziwa ukuthi kwenzeke ngokuziphendulela – owesifazane osezingeni eliphezulu naye akazibandakanyi ekuguquleni abantu icala. Wenza okufanele ngokuxolisa ngamaphutha akhe.

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7. Owesifazane osezingeni eliphezulu unozwelo

Ukuzwela kwabanye kungenye yezimfanelo ezinhle kakhulu zowesifazane onenani eliphezulu. Uyazazi izinkinga zabanye abantu futhi unikeza usizo ngezindlela ezilula ngangokunokwenzeka - ukulalela ngesineke, ukugodla ukwahlulela, noma amazwi okuqinisekisa. Uyazazi futhi uzwela lumenza avuleleke emibonweni ehluke kakhulu kweyakhe.

Ngiyaxolisa ngale ndlela evamile kodwa owesifazane obaluleke kakhulu angahamba ibanga elide ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu njengoba azi imiphumela yokuntuleka kozwelo ebudlelwaneni. Umuzwa wakhe oqinile wozwelo yiwona omenza ahluke kwabanye abantu. Uyabamukela abantu kanye nosizi lwabo ngenhliziyo efudumele.

8. Unethezekile ngobulili bakhe 

Inani langempela lomuntu wesifazane ngokuvamile lisekelwe ekutheni ukhululekile kangakanani esikhumbeni sakhe kanye nobulili bakhe. Owesifazane onenani eliphezulu uzithwala ngokuzikhandla. Unomqondo ovulekile. Abesifazane abaningi bazinika isikhathi sokukhululeka ngobulili babo; izimiso zobulili ezimisiwe ziye zaqhelelana nobulili kwabesifazane 'abalungile'.

Ekhuphuka ngaphezu kwale mibono yasendulo, owesifazane obaluleke kakhulu uhlola ubulili bakhe futhi ubeka ukubaluleka enjabulweni. Uyaqaphela isidingo sokuhambisana ngokocansi ebudlelwaneni futhi uzimisele ukusebenza kukho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uvulelekile ukuba nezingxoxo eziphathelene nokushaya indlwabu, ukukhanuka, izikhundla, ukudlala indima, njll. nomlingani wakhe.

9. Uhamba izindawo   

Ngakho-ke, yiziphi izimpawu ezicashile zowesifazane onenani eliphakeme? Umbono kanye nesifiso sokuvelela. Lona wesifazane onamandla uphethe isiqondiso sempilo yakhe; unombono ocacile walapho afuna ukuba khona. Manje, lokhu kungaba yinoma yini - ukuba ngumama ohlala ekhaya noma i-CEO endiza phezulu.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iphupho linjani, ungumuntu onozwelo oqonde ngqo kulo. Uvame ukuzitika ngokuzinakekela. Uyaqhutshwa, uyabekezela, futhi usebenza kanzima futhi uyazi ukuthi yini elungele yena. Owesifazane onenani uzofinyelela phezulu kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abantu abazama ukumdonsela phansi.

10. Akazinze  

Ikhono lokuyekethisa liwusizo ngempela, kodwa ngezinga elithile kuphela. Ukuba ngowesifazane obalulekile kusho ukunganeliseki ngezinto ezingaphansi kwalokho okukufanele. Lokhu kusebenza ezimweni nasezimweni ezahlukene - ungalokothi waneliseke ngomsebenzi ongelutho uma ukwazi ukuthola ongcono, ungalokothi waneliseke ngomlingani ongahloniphi (uzobona izimpawu ezibomvu kumuntu wesilisa noma owesifazane ngokushesha), ungalokothi waneliseke futhi ulahle amaphupho akho ngoba athatha isikhathi eside ukuvela. Uyayiqonda imingcele enempilo yalaba besifazane ababalulekile, akunjalo? Bahloniphe uma ungumndeni wakhe noma umngane noma uma uthandana naye.

Amandla owesifazane wesifazane anamandla kangangokuthi akasoze abe nomuntu omenza azizwe emncane ngaye. Ngaphezu kwalokho, umuntu onenani eliphezulu akasoze amenza ukuthi aneliseke futhi. Leso esinye sezibonakaliso ukuthi umfana uyakwesaba. Uzoqinisekisa ukuthi ulokhu ekhuphukela kulokho okulindele.

11. Uthembekile

Ukuqamba amanga kuphelile ngokuphelele ngaphansi kwazo zonke izimo. Futhi kunamazinga amaningi kulokhu:

• Owesifazane ophakeme akaqambi amanga ngokoqobo nangokomfanekiso
• Uthembekile ekusebenzelaneni kwakhe nabantu futhi uthembekile ekuzivezeni njengoba enjalo
• Abukho ubungako bokuthatha kwakhe ubuntu mbumbulu ukuze ahlabe umxhwele othile

Ubuqiniso bubusa kakhulu. Unomuzwa ojulile wobuqotho. Akasoze adlale imidlalo yengqondo ebudlelwaneni nawe. Owesifazane oyigugu uyahamba lapho ezwa amanga, inkohliso, kanye nobuwula. Futhi sithembe, angakuzwa konke lokhu ekude.

12. Owesifazane wenani eliphezulu uyaphikelela 

Izinto azihambi kahle ekuqaleni futhi owesifazane osezingeni eliphezulu ukwazi kahle lokho. Akapheli amandla futhi akaguquguquki emizamweni yakhe yokufinyelela umgomo othile. Ukuphikelela kuyazuzisa futhi ukukhandleka kwakhe kuthela izithelo ekugcineni. Lesi yisici esibalulekile ngoba sihlanganisa ibhalansi efanele yokubekezela, uthando nokuzinikela. Uma zibekwe esimweni sobudlelwane, lezi zimfanelo zimenza abe umlingani ofanelekayo. Owesifazane onenani eliphakeme ufunda emaphutheni akhe futhi uhlale ezimisele ukusebenza ebuhlotsheni futhi akhe ikusasa nengxenye yakhe.

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13. Uhlakaniphile

Lena enye yalezo zimfanelo zowesifazane onenani eliphezulu eziyibhonasi. Owesifazane osezingeni eliphezulu uyakuqonda ukubaluleka kokuzijabulisa nokubhuqa. Ungakwazi ukuwafaka, uma ufuna, ukuze uthole i-zing eyengeziwe ebuntwini bakho. Ukuhlekisa bekulokhu kuwuphawu lobuhlakani. Ulimi olubukhali kanye nokuhlakanipha okubukhali kuhle ukuhlanganyela nakho.

Abesifazane abaningi benani eliphezulu bangabantu abakhulumayo abahlakaniphile abanamancoko amangalisayo kodwa azwelayo. Inkulumo lapha, ihlaya lapho, futhi bakwenze wathandeka (futhi ugingqika phansi). Uma othile ebhekene nesikhathi esinzima, uzoqinisekisa ukuthi umenza azizwe ejabule ngokuqhulula ihlaya elilodwa noma amabili.

14. Owesifazane osezingeni eliphezulu ukholelwa emingceleni

Akumelwe wonke umuntu abe nokufinyelela kuzo zonke izingxenye zempilo yakho. Futhi owesifazane oyigugu kakhulu uyakwazi lokhu. Uthanda impilo elinganiselayo ngakho-ke, ubeka imingcele enempilo kubo bonke ubudlelwano bakhe futhi anqume ukuthi yini eyamukelekayo nengamukeleki. Ufunde ubuciko bokuthi 'cha' kubantu lapho bedlula. Unakekela impilo yakhe yengqondo ngokubeka imingcele.

Ukubaluleka kokugomela akukapheli kuye. Amandla akhe siqu ukuthi uthanda ukuchitha isikhathi yedwa. Lokhu akusho ukuthi uyayizonda impilo yakhe yomphakathi. Ukuthi nje izindinganiso zakhe eziyinhloko zifana nokuthi uthanda ukuba nesikhathi esibalulekile eyedwa lapho engakwazi ukuqoqa khona imicabango yakhe futhi alondoloze ubuntu bakhe.

15. Unekhono 

Futhi, leli khono lingaba noma yini ngokoqobo. Noma ngabe ukuthunga ukuya ku-accounting, owesifazane onenani eliphezulu unendawo yobuchwepheshe. Unenhlanhla yakhe futhi ithalente lakhe likhanya njengelanga. Lo msebenzi umlethela injabulo nokwaneliseka. Uma ukufaneleka nokuthambekela kuhlangana ngezandla, unikezwa isipho. Njengoba usebenzela ekubeni ngowesifazane onenani eliphezulu, qiniseka ukuthi uyasibona isipho sakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uthanda ukufunda izinto ezintsha ngelukuluku njengesambatho sakhe sokuzivikela.

Et voila! Sifike ekugcineni kohlu lwethu olumangalisayo. Sitshele, ucabangeni ngalezi zici zabesifazane zenani eliphakeme? Akufanele yini ukufisa? Hhayi-ke, asikakaqedi. Okulandelayo kunengxenye ekutshela ukuthi ungenza kanjani ukuze ube ngowesifazane onenani eliphezulu. Ungakhathazeki, empeleni kulula kakhulu kunalokho obungakulindela. 

Amathiphu Okuba Ngowesifazane Wenani Eliphezulu

Ubani ongafuni ukuba ngumuntu ongcono kakhulu ngangokunokwenzeka? Siyazi ukuthi nawe uyafuna! Futhi sijabule kakhulu ukuba nawe okwamanje. Akunzima kakhulu ukuhlakulela izimfanelo ezibalwe ngenhla kodwa abesifazane abaningi abazi ukuthi baqale kuphi. Futhi-ke, kunezithiyo ezimbalwa endleleni (esingazigwema ngokuphelele ngokuqapha okuncane). Akudingeki ubheke zonke izihloko eziku-inthanethi ukuze ube ngumfazi ozobhekwa njengomuntu ofanele. Amandla nezici zobufazi ezibalwe ngezansi zanele ukuba ube ngumfazi osezingeni eliphezulu:

1. Yiba yiqiniso

Indoda yenani eliphezulu izokuthanda nakakhulu uma ungumuntu wakho weqiniso. Ungalokothi ube namahloni nganoma yini - isiko lakho, ulimi, ukubukeka, izimiso ezinhle, ukuhlakanipha kwemizwa, imfundo, umndeni, noma umsebenzi. Ziphathe ohambweni lwakho ngoba kukuholele kuleliphuzu empilweni yakho. Izimo ezithile zanquma intuthuko yakho futhi kufanele ugqoke iqiniso lakho ngokuziqhenya. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungowesifazane wesifazane noma othile ongenandaba nezindima zobulili/iphrezentheshini, yiba kahle ukuthi ungubani.

2. Funda ukuthi 'cha'

Ingabe kufanele siphinde sigcizelele ukubaluleka kwazo zonke izinhlobo zemingcele ? Abesifazane abaningi balwa nokuqina ezindaweni zomphakathi. Lesi yisikhumbuzo sakho sokuthi uthi cha, ubeke unyawo lwakho phansi, futhi ungabekezeleli noma yikuphi ukungabi nangqondo nhlobo. Yiba oqinile futhi ocacile emibonweni yakho futhi ukhumbule imingcele yabesifazane ebaluleke kakhulu. (Kodwa lokhu akufanele kudidaniswe nolaka olungadingekile noma ubutha)

3. Uma ungowesifazane onenani eliphakeme, kufanele uzithande

Lokhu kungenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu okufanele uzikhumbule lapho uzama ukuba yintokazi enenani eliphezulu. Uluthando lwakho lokuqala, ziphathe kahle. Ungavumeli imibono namazwana kukwenze wehlele emfuleni. Inqobo nje uma ujabule nawe, konke kuhamba kahle futhi kuhle. Gwema amandla angalungile. Impilo yakho enhle ibaluleke kakhulu ekuphithizeleni nasekuphithizeni kwempilo. Chitha isikhathi sami njalo ukuze uhlale uxhumene nawe. Khomba ekuzinzeni ngokomoya nge-yoga, ukubhala izindaba, noma ukuzindla.

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4. Nika abanye amandla

Uphawu lwangempela lowesifazane onenani eliphakeme ukuthambekela kwakhe ukunika amandla abanye abaningi. Yiba wusizo futhi usekele labo abaseduze kwakho. Vuma abangani bakho osondelene nabo ube yisibonelo esihle kwabesifazane. Ukuqhubekela phambili, yenqaba ukuba mncane. Lwela ukuvikeleka ebunganeni bakho besifazane. Indoda enenani eliphakeme ithanda owesifazane onamandla onezindinganiso eziphakeme. Yilokho okufanele ukwenze ekuphileni.

5. Zijabulise

Futhi phakathi nalo lonke lolu daba, ungakhohlwa ukuzijabulisa. Konke kuzobe kungenamsebenzi uma ungabuyi ekhaya unobuso obumomothekayo. Funa injabulo nokuhleka ngemisebenzi eyahlukahlukene; kuzokwenza ukwazi ukuba ungashadile futhi ngenjabulo. Konke ukusebenza kanye nokungadlali kwenza uJill abe intombazane eyisithutha - ungafani noJill. Thuthukisa izinto ozithandayo futhi usebenzise ngokugcwele impilo.

6. Ungagodli ekufuneni usizo

Izici zingaba ngaphandle (uzakwethu ongasekeli) noma zangaphakathi (ukuvinjwa kwengqondo noma ukukhathazeka). Funa ukwesekwa kubangani abaseduze noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo lapho kudingeka. Uphawu lwamandla eqiniso ukukwazi ukucela usizo, khumbula lokho. Njengoba uzimisele, akumele wenze yonke into uwedwa. Ukuba sengozini kuzokwengeza ukubaluleka kwakho, impilo, kanye nokusondelana kubo bonke ubudlelwano.

Yilokho, bakwethu! Senziwe ngokusemthethweni ngale-encyclopedia encane ngezimpawu zowesifazane onenani eliphakeme. Manje usunikwe amandla ngolwazi olwaholela abaningi phambi kwakho enkazimulweni. Ngokwerekhodi, siyaziqhenya kakhulu ngemizamo yakho yokuzithuthukisa. Sikufisela inhlanhla ngomzamo wakho – siyazi ukuthi ukutholile lokhu. 

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