Ukwenza Ukuthula Nesikhathi Sakho Esidlule - Amathiphu Ahlakaniphile ayi-13

"Unesibopho ngempilo yakho. Awukwazi ukuqhubeka uzibeka icala ngokungasebenzi kahle kwakho. Impilo imayelana nokuqhubekela phambili." 

U-Oprah Winfrey. Ukwenza ukuthula nokwedlule kwakho kuwukuphela kwendlela yokuqhubekela phambili.

Kodwa akungabazeki ukuthi ukwenza ukuthula esikhathini esidlule kungenye yezinto okunzima kakhulu ukuzenza. Ngisho izinyanga ngemva kokuhlukana kwenu, izibazi zezinkumbulo zisekhona. Uyazizwa engenalutho futhi yedwa. Noma ngabe bekuyiphutha likabani, usazigxeka ngokwenzekile.

Unabantu abaseduze kwakho abazokududuza, kodwa uzwa sengathi akekho ngempela oqondayo ukuthi ubhekene nani. Uqala ukuzizonda ngenxa yesikhathi sakho esidlule. Uma ufuna ukuqhubekela phambili, kuyadingeka ukwenza ukuthula nokwedlule kwakho. Kubalulekile ukwenza ukuthula nesikhathi sakho esidlule ukuze kungaphazamisi imanje lakho.

Kusho Ukuthini Ukwenza Ukuthula Nesikhathi Sakho Esidlule?

Izinto ziyenzeka empilweni yethu, akukhona konke okusemandleni ethu. Ukuhlukana kuyenzeka, ukuhlukunyezwa kwezingane ingashiya isibazi esijulile engqondweni yakho futhi ungase ubhekane naso abazali abanobuthi impilo yakho yonke.

Uma ungakwazi ukudlula okwenzeka kuwena esikhathini esidlule awukwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obunezithelo esikhathini esizayo. Kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza. Ngezinye izikhathi sithwala intukuthelo ngokuqaphela noma ngokungazi futhi sibuhlungu ngaphakathi kwethu iminyaka ngaphambi kokuba ekugcineni siyidedele. Silokhu sikuthwele lokho umthwalo wemizwa Unathi. Abantu bayasitshela, “Yenza ukuthula nesikhathi sakho esidlule ukuze kungonakali okwamanje.” Kodwa azisitsheli ukuthi kungenzeka ngempela kanjani ukugwema ukuphila esikhathini esidlule.

Kodwa ungaba nesikhathi sakho se-epiphany noma ekugcineni wazi impendulo yombuzo obuhlala ukuhlupha. Khona-ke kufana nomsebe welanga ongazelele okhanya kuwe futhi ungakwazi ukudedela futhi wenze ukuthula ngamaphutha akho esikhathi esidlule.

Ngokwesibonelo, uRene wayesebudlelwaneni nendoda eshadile lapho eneminyaka engu-16 futhi yena walahlekelwa ubuntombi bakhe kuye. Lapho eqhubekela phambili amshiye ne-vacuum ukuthi iminyaka engu-10 ngemva kwalokho wayengakwazi ukuzizwa ekhululekile nomfana uma kuziwa ekusondeleni ngokomzimba. Kodwa eminyakeni engu-10 kamuva wathola ukuthi ngemva nje kobudlelwane bakhe naye waba nendodana nomkakhe, ayethi uyamzonda.

“Ngalolo suku engabona ngalo ukuthi uyangisebenzisa nje ngabambelela kukho ngicabanga ukuthi wuthando lwangempela, ngalolo suku ngakwazi ukuxolelana nedlule futhi ngijabulele ukusondelana nesoka lami okokuqala ngqa,” kusho uRene.

Ukwenza Ukuthula Nesikhathi Sakho Esidlule - Amathiphu Ahlakaniphile ayi-13

Okudlule kwakho kuzohlala kukukhathaza uze ukwazi ukukwamukela. Ukuze wenze ukuthula ngamaphutha akho esikhathi esidlule, isinyathelo sokuqala ukwamukelwa. Ukwamukela okwedlule kuzokwenza kungabi lula ukuthi ikulawule. Udinga ukulawula okwedlule ukuze uyeke ukukulawula nokukuhlupha.

Okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kwangaphambili kungashintsha indlela obheka ngayo impilo. Ngokwesibonelo isehlukaniso siyashintsha indoda nokuhlukana ne umuntu obumthanda ngokujulile ingakushiya uhlukumezekile iminyaka. Ungase ucabange ukuthi uzogcina uphinda amaphutha akho esikhathi esidlule ebuhlotsheni bakho obusha. Kodwa iseluleko sethu kungaba ukuyeka ukugxila esikhathini esidlule. Yenza ukuthula nokwedlule kwakho ukuze kungamoshi isikhathi samanje.

Uma ufuna ukuthula nomuntu okuphathe kabi, yenza ukuthula nawe kuqala. Nazi izindlela eziyi-13 zokwenza ukuthula nokwedlule kwakho.

1. Zithethelele

Isinyathelo sokuqala sokwenza ukuthula nedlule ukuzithethelela. Uma othile esiphatha kabi, sisuke sizisole thina nakuba ekujuleni kwethu sazi ukuthi kunjalo akulona iphutha lethu. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi siyazigxeka ngokwenza izinqumo ezingalungile. Kubalulekile ukuzixolela futhi uqonde ukuthi akulona iphutha lakho.

Abantu bayawenza amaphutha nawe wenze elilodwa. Esikhundleni sokuzibeka icala, zama ukuqonda ukuthi awenzanga lutho olubi uqaphela. Ubungazi ukuthi lo muntu uzokulimaza, pho kungaba yiphutha lakho kanjani?

2. Kuthathe njengesifundo

Njalo iphutha olenzayo isebenza njengesifundo ukuze ungaphinde wenze iphutha elifanayo. Esikhundleni sokuphinda udlale okwedlule futhi ukhale ngakho, kusebenzise njengesifundo.

Qaphela konke amafulegi abomvu lokho kwavela phakathi nesifundo. Sebenzisa lawa mafulegi abomvu njengesipiliyoni sokufunda ukuze ungavumeli noma ubani omunye akuzwise ubuhlungu ngendlela efanayo futhi. Yeka ukugxila kowedlule bese uqhubekela phambili.

Izifundo ozithola ebudlelwaneni bakho obudlule zikusiza ukuthi ufunde futhi ukhule uqine njengomuntu

3. Mxolele

Uma umbambele umuntu okuphathe kabi isikhathi eside, uzovumela isikhathi esidlule ukuthi sikulawule. Ukubamba amagqubu kusho ukuthi usathinteka ngokwedlule. Kungase kuthathe isikhathi ukulungisa okwedlule kodwa kuzomele uthathe igxathu eliya phambili kuqala.

By ukuxolela umuntu owakuzwisa ubuhlungu, uzokwazi ukuzivumela ukuthi uthathe isinyathelo sokuqala sokuqhubekela phambili futhi uzixolele nawe.

4. Yeka ukuzizwa unecala

Awunayo isizathu sokuzizwa unecala ngokwenzeka kuwe. Udinga ukuzibona uyisisulu lapha futhi uphume ngamandla.

Uwena olimele nokhungathekile. Ungazizwa unecala ngento okungelona iphutha lakho. Kunalokho, hlaziya isimo futhi ubone ukuthi siyini. Uma uphathina wakho ekukopela ungacabangi ukuthi kwenzeke ngoba ubungabukeki.

Khumbula abalingani bamadoda amahle kakhulu noma abesifazane abahle, nabo bayakopela. Vumela bazizwa benecala, kungani kufanele uzizwe kanjalo?

5. Ukuze wenze ukuthula nesikhathi sakho esidlule, zinike isikhathi sakho

Wonke umuntu usabela ngendlela ehlukile ezimweni. Abanye bangase baqhubeke esikhathini esingangesonto kuyilapho abanye kungase kuthathe iminyaka ukuqhubeka. Uma uzizwa sengathi udinga isikhathi sokwenza ukuthula nokwedlule kwakho, thatha sonke isikhathi osidingayo.

Ungase uzizwe ufuna ukuhlala kude nabanye abantu. Sebenzisa isikhathi 'sami' osifunayo. Ukuphuthuma i inqubo yokuphulukisa izoletha kuphela induduzo yesikhashana futhi izobuyisa imizwa futhi.

6. Yamukela izinto ngendlela eziyiyo

Izikhathi eziningi sivame ukuphinda sidlale okwedlule futhi silokhu sicabanga ngezindlela ebesingenza ngazo ngendlela ehlukile. Sizizwa sizisola futhi silokhu sizishaya ngenxa yalokho. Yeka ukugxila emaphutheni adlule.

Kumele wamukele iqiniso lokuthi okwenziwayo kuyenziwa. Ngeke ushintshe lutho ngakho. Ayikho indlela yokuthi ungabuyela esikhathini esedlule futhi uguqule noma yini futhi noma yini oyenzayo ngeke iguqule iqiniso lokuthi uke waba khona. ubuhlungu futhi wakhashelwa. Udinga ukwamukela okwenziwayo futhi esikhundleni salokho ubheke phambili.

7. Gxila kulokho onakho

Akuwona wonke umuntu onabangane abahle abahlale bekhona eduze kwakho lapho izinto ziya eningizimu. Zizwe unenhlanhla ukuthi unabathandekayo bakho eceleni kwakho phakathi nalesi sigaba sakho. Yiba yi- owesifazane ojabule ubulokhu ufuna ukuba noma ube indoda engakwazi ukubhekana nokuhlukana bese uqala impilo kabusha.

Gxila kubantu abakuthandayo esikhundleni somuntu owakuzwisa ubuhlungu wakushiya ukhala. Ukugxila kulokho onakho kuzokwenza ubone ukuthi kuningi kakhulu ekuphileni kwakho kunalokho obukucabanga.

8. Yiba neqiniso kuwena

Ukuze wenze ukuthula nesikhathi sakho esidlule, udinga ukuba neqiniso kuwe ngokwemizwa yakho. Ukuhlala uphika futhi ugweme isimo kuyomane kusenze sibe sibi kakhulu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Khuluma nawe uzitshele ukuthi uzizwa kanjani nokuthi kukuthinte kangakanani. Ukwethembeka kuwena kuzokusiza uzizwe ulula futhi uzokwazi ukuqhubekela phambili kusukela esikhathini sakho esidlule ngokushesha.

9. Ungagodli

Kufanele uqonde ukuthi lokhu akukona ukuphela komhlaba. Kumele ukholwe ukuthi okuhle kuseza. Izikhathi eziningi, lapho silimele, siyesaba ukuvumela into efanayo yenzeke kithi futhi. Ngenxa yalokho, sithambekele ekuzibambeni futhi singazivumeli ukuba sinamathele kunoma ubani omunye.

Ungazigodli futhi uvumele okwakho okwedlule kuthinte isikhathi sakho samanje. Kholwa ukuthi izinto ezinhle zizokwenzeka kuwe futhi uqhubekele phambili. Ima ukuzicekela phansi ubudlelwano bakho futhi wenze ukuthula nokwedlule kwakho.

10. Yikhiphe

Enye indlela enamandla yokwenza ukuthula nedlule iwukukhipha intukuthelo nokukhungatheka kwakho. Ungase ukhiphe intukuthelo yakho phambi komuntu noma ukhethe ukuyenza phambi kwesibuko.

Ukukhipha umoya imizwa yakho izokwenza uzizwe ungumuntu futhi. Ungase ube nomuzwa wokuthi, ngokwenza kanjalo, uzodiliza udonga futhi ube sengozini. Ungase uzizwe usengozini okwamanje, kodwa uzokwazi okungenani ukuyikhipha kusistimu yakho futhi uzizwe ulula.

11. Liyeke lihambe

Uma ufuna ukwenza ukuthula ngamaphutha akho bese uqhubekela phambili, kuzomele uyekele. Ukubambelela kokudlule kuzokugcina uvaleleke kukho. Uphethe ukhiye wokuzikhulula kowakho osedlule.

Ukubambelela kowakho okwedlule kuzokwenza uzizwe ungelutho. Zitshele ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokudlulela phambili futhi udedele konke lezo zinkumbulo. Kuzoba nzima kodwa kuzoba yisinyathelo sakho sokuqala sokuzikhulula kowakho osedlule.

12. Khuluma nothile

Abantu abaningi bakhetha ukungaxoxi nabanye abantu mayelana nesikhathi sabo esidlule ngoba besaba ukuthi omunye umuntu uzoqala ukubahlulela noma abacabange njengababuthaka. Wonke umuntu uyawenza amaphutha futhi kulungile.

Kwesinye isikhathi ukwabelana nabanye ngesikhathi sakho esidlule kuzokusiza ukuthi ubhekane nabo kangcono. Lona omunye umuntu angaba umngane wakho, ingane yakini noma mhlawumbe umelaphi.

Zama ukukhuluma nomuntu othululela kuye isifuba. Kuzokusiza ukuthi ululame ngokushesha. Uma intombi yakho isekhona hhayi ngaphezu kwe-ex yakhe ungakhuluma ngakho futhi umsize aqhubekele phambili.

13. Zithande

Uma umuntu omthandayo ekuzwisa ubuhlungu, ulahlekelwa nakancane ukuzimisela ukwenza noma yini. Uzizwa sengathi ulahlekelwe yikho konke futhi uzizwa ufuna ukuzilimaza. Into engcono kakhulu umuntu angayenza ukuzithanda yena.

Ukuzithanda into ebaluleke kakhulu okufanele yenziwe. Ungabheki abanye abantu ukuze ujabule ube ungakwazi ukuzenzela. Ziphathe ngokudla okuthandayo futhi uzitotose ngezinto ozithandayo. Ungagodli uma kuza kuwe.

Ukwenza ukuthula nokwedlule akulula. Ingxenye enzima kakhulu yakho ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala. Kumele ube nokholo futhi ukholelwe kuwena ukuthi ungaqhubeka. Sebenzisa okwedlule njengezifundo zamanje nekusasa lakho. Ungakuvumeli kukulawule. Uwena kuphela umuntu ongakwazi ukulawula impilo yakho, ngakho-ke yilawule. Qala ukuzithanda futhi ungavumeli injabulo yakho incike kwabanye. Bheka ukuthula ngaphakathi futhi okwakho kuzofiphala.

Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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