Awukwazi ukwakha ubuhlobo obuhlala njalo ngaphandle kokwethembana. Uma uhlezi uqagela izisusa zomlingani wakho noma uzisola, isibopho sakho sizoba yisisulu salokhu kungathembani ngokushesha noma kamuva. Ubudlelwano budlanga ngale ngozi lapho ukwethembana phakathi kozakwethu sekuvele kunamandla ngenxa yokungathembeki, amanga aphindaphindiwe, noma ukungabi sobala. Ngenhlanhla, lo monakalo akudingeki ube unomphela. Ngemisebenzi ethile esebenzayo yokwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni, ungakwazi ukuguqula izinto futhi ufunde kabusha indlela yokuncikana komunye nomunye.
Ukuze wakhe ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni futhi, kufanele uzibophezele ekuthatheni izinyathelo eziqaphelayo eziqinisekisa umlingani wakho ukuthi angathembela kuwe. Lokhu akudingekile ukuba kube izinguquko ezishintsha impilo kodwa izenzo ezincane zansuku zonke ezibuyisela ukholo lwazo kuwe nasebudlelwaneni bakho.
Kulesi sihloko, ukwelulekwa psychologist Kavita Panyam (Ongoti kwiPsychology kanye nenxusa lamazwe ngamazwe ne-American Psychological Association), ebilokhu isiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ixazulule izinkinga zabo zobudlelwane iminyaka engaphezu kwamashumi amabili, isitshela ukuthi singazilungisa kanjani izinkinga zokwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Uma udonsa kanzima ukuthola ukuthi ungabugcina kanjani ubudlelwano ngaphandle kokwethembana, le misebenzi eyenzeka futhi elula yokwakha ukwethembana kwabashadile kanye nokwakha kabusha ukwethembana emakhasini okusebenzela obudlelwano kungaba isiqalo esihle.
Umeluleki Wezithandani Uncoma Imisebenzi Eyi-15 Yokwakha Kabusha Ukuthembana Ebudlelwaneni
Okuqukethwe
Okokuqala, udinga ukuba nombono ocacile mayelana nokuthi kusho ukuthini ukwethemba umlingani wakho noma ukuthi abeke ukholo lwakhe kuwe. Ngakho-ke, ukwakha kabusha izivivinyo zokuthembana kwabashadile kufanele kugxile ekutholeni ukuthi kusho ukuthini ngempela kubo bobabili abantu abahililekile. Ingabe ukwethemba, kuwe, kusho ukwethembeka okuphelele nokuphelele? Ingabe ukwethembana kufana nokungabi bikho kwezimfihlo phakathi kozakwethu? Noma ingabe kukhona okunye? Udinga ukucaciseleka mayelana nencazelo 'yethemba' uma ufisa ukufunda kanjani ukwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Ukusiza izithandani ukuvala igebe lokuthembana, u-Kavita wabelana ngeshidi lokusebenza elinikeza uhlaka oluzosebenza ngaphakathi:
Manje njengoba usuqonda kangcono izivivinyo zokwakha ubudlelwano, umbuzo olandelayo obalulekile uthi: Uwenza kanjani ngendlela eyenza umlingani wakho abone ukuthi wenza umzamo oqotho wokuxhumana okujulile? Ukuze wenze lokho, nansi imisebenzi engu-15 yokwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni, kanye nokwakha kabusha ukwethembana kumakhasi okusebenza obudlelwano, ongakwazi ukuwahlola:
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukudweba Umugqa Phakathi Kothando Nobumfihlo Ebudlelwaneni
1. Hlola ukuthi umi kuphi, bese uqala ukuphulukisa ngomusa
Uhambo lokufunda ukwethembana ngeke luqale ngaphandle kokuthi wazi ukuthi uqala kuphi. Lokhu kudinga ukuzihlola ngobuqotho. Kufanele uqale ngokuvuma ngobuqotho ukuthi yini ekulethe kuleli phuzu. Ingabe kwakuwukungathembeki? Uma kunjalo, hlobo luni: ukukopela ngokomzimba, ngokwezimali, noma ngokomzwelo? Noma ithemba selibunile ngenxa ye ukuntula inhlonipho kanye nokwesekwa ebudlelwaneni?
"Kubalulekile ukuhlonza nokuvuma imbangela ngoba inkambo ethathwayo ukuhlehlisa umonakalo izohluka ngendlela efanele. Isibonelo, izivivinyo zokwakha ukwethembana kwabashadile ngemva kokuqamba amanga zihlukile kwalezo zokubhekana nokungathembeki. Futhi nokunye. Njengoba sekushiwo, ezinye izinto ezithinta imizwa zingasetshenziswa ngempumelelo ezimweni ezihlukene, futhi yilokho esizogxila kukho," kusho uKavita. Zama ukwethembeka ngangokunokwenzeka ngenkathi uzama lokhu:
- Prakthiza ukuba nomusa komunye nomunye
- Noma ngabe ucasukile/ucasukile zama ukuphendula isithandwa sakho ungasabeli
- Ungathathi hlangothi ngangokunokwenzeka futhi ulalele umlingani wakho ngomqondo ovulekile
- Zinike isikhathi sokufanisa nokucubungula abakushilo, bese uphendula
2. Imizuzu engu-10 yezikhathi zokugoqana - Umsebenzi olula wokuthembana wababili
"Ukwakha kabusha ukwethembana kwabashadikazi kungaba lula njengokubambana eduze futhi nithintane nendlela lokho kukwenza uzizwe ngayo. Zama izikhathi zemizuzu emihlanu noma engu-10, lapho nigonana futhi nihlale kuleyo ndawo isikhathi esibekiwe. Bona ukuthi ukusondelana okunjalo kuphumela kanjani ngoba kuzokunika ithuba lokuzwa amandla omunye nomunye," kusho uKavita kanye nenjabulo. Naka uhlobo lwemizwa onayo:
- Ingabe uzizwa ungakhululekile nge ukuthinta ngokomzimba?
- Ingabe ucasukile ngalokho okwenzeka esikhathini esidlule?
- Ingabe lokhu kusondelana kuveza imizwa yomona?
Ngokufanayo, ningazama nokuchitha isikhathi nibukana ngokujulile emehlweni omunye nomunye. Ngisho ucwaningo kubonisa ukuthi ukubhekana kwamehlo kuholela ekukhishweni kwamahomoni ahambisana nokukhanga/uthando, ikakhulukazi i-phenylethylamine ne-oxytocin. Ngakho-ke, lokhu kungaba phakathi kwezindlela eziphumelela kakhulu zokuzivocavoca- nokwakha ukwethembana kwabashadile ngemva kokungathembeki (njengalezi zimo, ukusondelana ngokomzimba kuthatha ithonya elikhulu kanye nokwethembana).
3. Engeza isici sokudlala ebudlelwaneni
Indlela akhe kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni, uyabuza? Ukufunda ukuzijabulisa ndawonye kungaba indawo enhle yokuqala. Nazi ezinye izivivinyo zokwethembana ezijabulisayo zezithandani:
- Ukulwa ngomcamelo (ukusebenzelana nomoya wokunganaki kungaletha ukuhleka/injabulo enkulu)
- Ukudlala imidlalo yebhodi efana ne-chess, oshekha baseShayina, amakhadi, i-carrom, njll.
- Ukwenza ukudla okulula ndawonye ngeSonto ntambama
- Ukuphishekela umdlalo eniwujabulela nobabili, njenge-badminton, ithenisi, noma ukugibela ibhayisikili
"Uma udlala imidlalo, ukukhululwa kwama-endorphin kudala lokho okudingeka kakhulu kokuzizwa kahle ebuhlotsheni. Futhi, umsebenzi wokwakha iqembu. Konke ukuzijabulisa nokuhleka okuvela kokuhlangenwe nakho kungakwenza uzizwe uxhumekile futhi usondelene kakhulu. Lo muzwa wokuxhumana ungaba isinyathelo esibalulekile sokubuyisela ukwethembana ebuhlotsheni," kuchaza uKavita.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinto Eziyi-10 Okufanele Uzenze Ukuze Ubuyise Ukuthenjwa Ebudlelwaneni Ngemva Kokuqamba Amanga
4. Yenzani izinto eziningi ngokwengeziwe ndawonye
Imisebenzi evamile, yansuku zonke ingaguqulwa ibe yizivivinyo zokusondelana ngokomzwelo inqobo nje uma nizilolongela ukucabangela ndawonye futhi nigxile emsebenzini owodwa ngesikhathi. Ungaba segumbini elilodwa futhi wenze izinto ezihlukile futhi nokho, kungakwenza uzizwe uxhumeke kakhulu. Ngale ndlela, nizoqonda futhi nihloniphe kakhulu umsebenzi noma izithakazelo zomunye nomunye.
Ngakho-ke, nobabili ningafunda umsebenzi omusha wokuzilibazisa futhi niguquke ekuvumelaneni. Uma sikhuluma ngemisebenzi eningayenza ndawonye, nansi eminye imisebenzi ethokozisayo yokwakha ukwethembana yezithandani ezituswa uKavita:
- Ukubhalisela ama-workshops/izifundo: Ukuya esifundweni sesithiyo kungakusiza ukuthi nincike komunye nomunye ukuze nithole ukwesekwa
- Ukuzivocavoca: Ngisho noma nobabili nikhetha izinhlobo ezahlukene zokujima, zenzeni ngesikhathi/isikhala esifanayo
- Ukulima: Ukubuka isithombo sikhula kuzwakala njengokuwina njengeqoqo kanye nesingathekiso senqubekelaphambili yenu njengombhangqwana
- Ukupheka: Izosiza ekuthembeni umlingani wakho kanye nengcindezi enkulu yabashadikazi abathanda ukudla okumnandi
- Ukuthenga ndawonye: Ukusizana ukukhetha izingubo/izinsiza ongazithenga kungaba a ibhlokhi yokwakha ukusondelana
5. Ukubhala izincwadi zokubonga kungenye yemisebenzi yokwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni
Okukodwa kwe imisebenzi yokwakha ukwethembana ngoba imibhangqwana ngemva kokungathembeki iwukubonisa ukwazisana. Yenza lokhu kube isiko lanyanga zonke. Bhalani izincwadi zokubonga nigxile kulokhu:
- Izici zomunye umuntu ezikuhlaba umxhwele
- Ukuthi bebekhona ngani ngezikhathi zakho zokuswela
- Indlela abakutotose ngayo futhi bakubusise ngokukweseka kwabo
Lokhu kwakha ukusondelana nokwethembana, futhi noma nini lapho okuthile ngakho kukucasula, ungaphinda ufunde lezi zincwadi ukuze uzikhumbuze ukuthi nobabili nizazisa futhi nihloniphana kangakanani. Lokhu kungaba yindlela enhle yokunciphisa noma iyiphi intukuthelo noma ukucasuka okungenzeka ukuthi unakho komunye nomunye.
"Lezi zincwadi zisebenza njengomhlahlandlela okusiza ukuthi ufunde futhi ukhumbule okuhle ngomunye nomunye. Ngale ndlela, izinto ezicasulayo ezincane aziveli futhi zibuse impilo yakho. Zihlala ngemuva lapho zihlala khona. Sengikushilo lokho, ngithanda ukugqamisa ukuthi lo mkhuba uyasebenza emibhangqwaneni esebenzayo hhayi ubudlelwano obunzima onakaliswe ukukhanyisa igesi nokukhwabanisa,” kusho uKavita.
6. Xhumana ngobuqotho ngokuphulwa kokwethembeka esikhathini esizayo
“Kumele wenze uhlelo lokugwema ukwephulwa kokwethembana esikhathini esizayo, isibonelo, uma wenze into edambisa ukwethenjwa komlingani wakho, kufanele uphumele obala ngakho bese uqala ingxoxo ngokuthi kwenzekeni nokuthi kungani, kunokuba uyibeke eceleni ukuze ungaziboni ubukeka unecala.
“Ngasikhathi sinye, omunye umlingani kufanele abe nomqondo ovulekile ukuze aqonde ukuthi kungani kungenzeka ukuthi kwenzeke. Yingakho kufanele nizibophezele ukuthi nihlale ndawonye nixoxisane ngezindaba ezinjalo ngaphandle kokuthukuthela, ukuhlukumeza, noma ukusola. Indlela yokufeza lokho iwukuxoxisana okunengqondo lapho ukhuluma khona, bese umlingani wakho ekhuluma, bese uphendula uma sekuyithuba lakho,” kweluleka uKavita.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ungamthemba Kanjani Umuntu Futhi Ngemva Kokukulimaza - Iseluleko Sochwepheshe
Ukuzivocavoca okunjalo kwezithandani kusiza ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi utolika abakushoyo ngokungathathi hlangothi, ngaphandle kokuvumela umbono wakho ukufake umbala. Eminye yemibuzo yokwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni ezimweni ezinjalo ingaba:
- “Ungathanda ukwazi okuthile okwengeziwe ngalokhu?”
- “Ungathanda ukwengeza okuthile kulokhu?”
- “Kulungile, nakhu engikuzwa usho, yilokho ozama ukukusho?”
Lezi yizici zokukhulumisana okucacile phakathi kwemibhangqwana enempilo, lapho ubudlelwano bungenakho ukukhanyiswa kwegesi noma ukukhohlisa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma uzizwa uthambekele ekufihleleni umlingani wakho izinto futhi uvumele izinkinga ziqhume zize ziphume ngendlela embi, mhlawumbe kusenomsebenzi okufanele wenziwe ukuze unqobe. izinkinga zokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni bakho. Kumabhangqwana anjalo, uhlu lwemibuzo olulandelayo lungaba indawo enhle yokuzihlola, ukuqala ngalo:
7. Yabelana ngezimfihlo futhi uzilolonge ngokuvuleleka
Ingxenye eyodwa ebalulekile yokwethembana ebudlelwaneni wukwenza izinto obala futhi kungaba ukhiye wokwakha kabusha ingxenye yokwethembana phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho. Isibonelo, ningashintshanisa amafoni akho futhi nabelane ngamaphasiwedi, uma nikhululekile ukwenza lokho, futhi nizame ukunganamathiseli kakhulu kumadivayisi akho.
"Izivivinyo zokwakha ukwethembeka kwabashadile ngemva kokungathembeki kungahlanganisa nokushiya ifoni yakho etafuleni, ngaleyo ndlela ukhulume nomlingani wakho ukuthi usekulungele futhi ufinyelele kalula kuyo ngoba akukho okufihlayo. Ngokufanayo, ubuhlobo bungabonakaliswa ukungathembeki kwezezimali. Ezimweni ezinjalo, zama ukukhuluma ngobuqotho mayelana nezimali zakho - umholo, izinzuzo, ukutshala izimali komunye umuntu - ngaphandle kokwesaba ukutshalwa kwezimali komunye umuntu."
Isihluthulelo sokuqonda indlela yokubuyisela ubuhlobo ukuba sengozini komunye nomunye. Ungabelana ngemfihlo yakho eyodwa nozakwenu futhi naye nawe. Bona ukuthi uzakwenu wenzani ngalolu lwazi. Ingabe isetshenziswa ngokumelene nawe noma igcinwe endaweni ephephile? Uma usuqonda ukuthi awukwazi ukusebenzisa imininingwane enjalo ebucayi (njengezimfihlo namagama ayimfihlo) ngokumelene nomunye, noma ukwephula ubumfihlo bomunye, uzofinyelela izinga elithembisa kakhulu ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bakho.
8. Imisebenzi yokwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni ihlanganisa ukubheka inqubekelaphambili
Uma uzama ukuthola ukuthi ungazilungisa kanjani izinkinga zokwethembana ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukuthi ungalahlekelwa umbono wenqubekelaphambili yakho nokuthi usuhambe ibanga elingakanani. “Izivivinyo zokwakha ukwethembeka kwabashadikazi zidinga ukuchitha isikhathi nomzamo. Ngakho, kanye ngenyanga noma ezimbili noma ezintathu, hlala phansi nomngane wakho womshado nixoxe ngokuthi nithuthuke kuphi nokuthi yiziphi izici okusadingeka nilungise kuzo,” kusho uKavita, enezela ngokuthi ukuze bakwazi ukwenza lokho, imibhangqwana kudingeka iphendule le mibuzo elandelayo:
- Yini enidlule kuyo nasinda ndawonye?
- Yiziphi izinto ezikukhathazayo ubudlelwano bakho?
- Nimelane kanjani kulesi sikhathi esinzima?
- Ingabe uzizwa uphephile uma unomlingani wakho?
Ukuthatha isitokwe kungenye yemisebenzi yokwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni obunamandla okuqinisekisa kabusha inkolelo yakho kusibopho sokuhlangana futhi ikufundise ukuba nokholo kumbhangqwana wenu. Futhi kuyipharamitha yokukala ukuthi zingaki izimpaphe ongezile kusigqoko sakho sokuphulukisa nokuthi mangaki ama-milestone osadinga ukweqa.
Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi uyawuqonda futhi uyayazisa ingqikithi yobudlelwano bakho. Ngalokho, lo msebenzi wokubala isitokwe kufanele wenziwe ngenombolo ukugxeka noma ukubizwa ngamagama. Kufanele ukwazi ukuxoxa ngezinto ngaphandle kokuzitika ngokuhlaselwa komuntu siqu. U-Kavita wabelana ngomsebenzi wokwakha ukwethembana kwabashadile ovumela bobabili abalingani bazame ukuthola ukucaciseleka kulokho abakulindele mayelana nokuthi ubudlelwano obunempilo obusekelwe ekwethembeni, othandweni, nokuhloniphana bubukeka kanjani komunye nomunye:
9. Hlela ukusondelana ngokocansi
Ukuhlela isikhathi sokuya ocansini ingenye yezivivinyo ezingaphansi kakhulu kodwa ezibalulekile zokwakha ubudlelwano. Uma ushadile unezingane, akuyona into engavamile ukuthi ukusondelana kuthathe indawo engemuva. Kungaba okufanayo nakubashadikazi abasebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside ngaphandle kwezingane. Lokhu kuntuleka kokusondelana yilapho imifantu ivame ukuvela khona ekuqaleni, ihlukanisa bobabili abalingani, futhi ikhinyabeze ukuxhumana, uthando, nokwethembana ababelana ngakho.
Kungakho ukuzinika isikhathi sokuhlela izikhathi zokungcebeleka ukuze uhlanganyele ekujabuleleni ucansi kubaluleke kakhulu. Lezi zikhathi kufanele zihluke kokuvamile, mhlawumbe ngisho nokuphuthuma, ucansi okungenzeka uhlanganyela kulo ngendlela evamile. Okungenani kanye ngeviki, beka phambili ukuxhumana kwakho nozakwenu ngaphezu kwakho konke okunye—izingane, umsebenzi, nalokho onakho. Nansi indlela ongasisebenzisa ngayo isikhathi sekhwalithi:
- Yenza umzamo wokugqoka, unuke kahle, futhi uvuselele i-ambience ngamakhandlela
- Zama ukumema umlingani wakho endaweni yakho futhi uye kwesabo
- Lokhu kufanele kube okungaphezu nje kokwanelisa umzimba
- Kucabange njengokuxhumana komphefumulo lapho empeleni uzinika isikhathi sokuhlolana
- Zama ukuzizwa wamukelekile ngokweqiniso endaweni yomunye nomunye ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo, nangokomzwelo
10. Xolisa ngobuqotho
Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungazilungisa kanjani izinkinga zokwethembana ebudlelwaneni, ukuxolisa okuyiqiniso kuhamba ibanga elide. Kodwa kufanele kuhambisane nokushintsha kokuziphatha. Umqeqeshi wokucabanga Pooja Priyamvada uthi, “Kumele ubone ukuthi lobu budlelwano bubaluleke kangakanani kuwena. ukuziphendulela ebudlelwaneni. Zikhumbuze ukuthi umlingani wakho ubalulekile kuwe kanye nemizwa yakhe. Thembeka ngamaphutha akho. Uma ungakwazi ukukhuluma ngokuqondile, zibhale phansi futhi wabelane ngazo nophathina wakho.” Ukuze wenze inqubo ibe lula, nanka amagama athile okwakha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni:
- "Ngangiphutha ngenkathi ngi..."
- “Ngiyaziphendulela ngalokho engikwenzile okungalungile, futhi ngiyaqonda ukuthi kungani uzizwa ngale ndlela”
- “Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi ngikhulume into ekuzwise ubuhlungu.
11. Qondani izilimi zothando zomunye nomunye
Ngamunye wethu unolimi lothando esilwamukela kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, ukwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni kuzodinga ukuthi uqonde ukuthi umlingani wakho uthanda ukuthandwa kanjani. Nazi Izilimi ezi-5 zothando nginothize engithandananaye:
- Amagama okuvuma
- Isikhathi sekhwalithi
- Izenzo zenkonzo
- izipho
- Ukuthinta ngokomzimba
Ake sithathe isibonelo lapho ulimi lothando lozakwethu oyedwa lungamagama okuqinisekisa. Uma kunjalo, sebenzisa izitatimende njalo nje 'Ngiyakuthanda' noma 'Ngiyajabula ukuba nawe ekuphileni'. Futhi, bageze ngemilayezo yombhalo, noma ngisho namanothi amancane othando nama-imeyili. Ungakwazi ngisho nokushiya amazwana kokuthunyelwe kwabo ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Lezi zenzo ezilula zokucabanga zingahamba ibanga elide ekwakheni kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni.
12. Ukuwa kwethemba
Lo msebenzi ungomunye wemisebenzi yokwelapha izithandani efakazelwe ngokwesayensi. Kufanele uvale amehlo akho bese uwela emuva ezingalweni zomlingani wakho. Ucwaningo iphakamisa ukuthi lo msebenzi olula ungasebenza ngempumelelo ekwakheni noma ekubuyiseleni ukwethembana ngoba udinga ukuthi uzinikele kumlingani wakho futhi uthembele ukuthi ngeke bakuvumele ukuthi ushaye phansi.
13. Zama imidlalo yokuvala amehlo ukuze wakhe kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni
Ukuzibandakanya emidlalweni yokwakha ukwethembana kwabashadile kungaba yindlela ejabulisayo nelula yokusebenza ekwakheni kabusha isisekelo sokuthembana. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ingakusiza qinisa ubudlelwano bakho. Nansi eminye imidlalo yokuvala amehlo yabashadikazi ongayizama:
- Qagela ukudla: Uzakwethu ovalwe amehlo udinga ukuqagela ukuthi yikuphi ukudla akuphakelwayo
- Ukumangala kwe-Getaway: Thatha umlingani wakho ekubalekeni okusheshayo - uhambo losuku noma lwempelasonto - futhi uvule isici esivala amehlo lapho ufika
- Umdanso onensayo Ukulalela ngenkuthalo ukuphefumula okujulile komunye nomunye kuyilapho ukudansa okunensayo kuvalwe amehlo
14. Yakhani ibhodi lemibono ndawonye
Ekhuluma ngokuzivocavoca kobudlelwane ukwakha ukwethembana, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo Ridhi Golechha uyeluleka, "Ukuze kwakhiwe kabusha ukwethembana okuphukile, ukwakha ibhodi lemibono ndawonye/ukuhlela ikusasa kuyasiza. Hlalani ndawonye futhi nizibuze lo mbuzo, "Ungathanda ukuzibona ukuphi eminyakeni emithathu/emihlanu/eyishumi kusukela namuhla?"
"Uma usudale ibhodi lemibono, lizokwakha ugqozi lobudlelwano eningasebenzisana kubo. Isimo sengqondo sokuphelelwa ithemba singahlala sinqotshwa indlela eyakhayo empilweni. Ngakho, ukuba nento ongakubuka nsuku zonke kuzosiza kunokuba uzame ukukubona ngeso lengqondo ekhanda lakho, lapho sekuvele kuningi kakhulu. ukungazinzi ngokomzwelo nokwethuka.”
15. Cela usizo kumlingani wakho
A cwaningo bathole ukuthi maningi amathuba okuthi umethembe umlingani wakho uma bebeka kuqala wena nobudlelwano bakho ngaphezu kwezifiso zabo. Ukwakha kabusha ukwethenjwa okuphukile imayelana nezenzo ezincane, zansuku zonke ezihlangana zibe yimiphumela emikhulu. Ungaqala ngokwenza izicelo ezincane ezifana nalezi:
- Ukuthola ubisi/amakhukhi/amakhukhamba esitolo segrosa
- Ukucosha amaShayina ukuze adle
- Ukukhethela abazali bakho ikhadi lokugubha unyaka
20 Izivivinyo Zokwethenjwa Ezinconywe Ngumelaphi Emibhangqwaneni
Njengoba ubona, ukwakha kabusha ukwethembana kuthatha umzamo ongaguquki noqhubekayo kubo bobabili ozakwethu. Ngokungeziwe kule misebenzi eshiwo ngenhla, u-Kavita uncoma lezi zivivinyo ezilandelayo zokuthembana zezithandani ezikusiza emizamweni yakho yokufunda ukuthi nithembana kanjani:
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
1. Ungalubuyisela kanjani uxhumano ebuhlotsheni?
Abantu bathi akusoze kwaphinde kwatholakala ukwethembana. Kodwa lokho akulona iqiniso. Ukulahlekelwa ukwethemba umuntu kubuhlungu kodwa kuhlale kunendlela yokubuyela emuva. Ungasebenzela ekulungiseni ukwethembana emshadweni ngezinto ezincane ezifana neseshini yemizuzu emihlanu yokugona kanye nezincwadi zokubonga. Ungakwazi futhi ukubuza umlingani wakho imibuzo ngomshado nomndeni nokuthi kusho ukuthini ukwethembana kubo.
2. Ungaphinde uthole kanjani ukwethembana ngemva kokukopela?
Ukuze uphinde uthole ukwethenjwa ngemva kokukopela, zama izingxoxo ezijulile mayelana nokuthi kungani kwenzekile. Ezinye izinto ezibalulekile zihlanganisa ukuxolisa kwangempela kanye nezinguquko zokuziphatha. Ukulahlekelwa ukholo kumuntu omthandayo kungadala izibazi ezijulile. Ukwakha kabusha ubuhlobo ezimweni ezinjalo kuthatha isikhathi. Ngakho-ke, yiba nesineke futhi ulungele ukuphuma endaweni yakho yokunethezeka.
3. Yiziphi izivivinyo zokwakha kabusha ukwethembana?
Ukuwa kwamahhala, imidlalo yokuvala amehlo, nokudala ibhodi lemibono ngezinye zezivivinyo zobudlelwane ukuze kwakhiwe kabusha ukwethembana. “Yini engingayenza ukuze ngiqonde imibono yethu eyahlukene?”, “Singabambana ngezandla?” noma “Ukhululeke nini ukuze uthole usuku oluthile?” eminye yemibuzo yokwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ubudlelwano budlanga nengozi yokuwohloka lapho ukwethembana phakathi kozakwethu sekuvele kwathinteka ngenxa yokungathembeki, amanga aphindaphindiwe, noma ukuntula obala.
- Ngemisebenzi ethile esebenzayo yokwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni, ungakwazi ukuguqula izinto futhi ufunde kabusha indlela yokuncikana.
- Isinyathelo sokuqala kulokhu sichaza ukuthi ukwethembana kusho ukuthini kubo bobabili ozakwethu
- Uma usukwenzile lokho, izenzo ezincane, zansuku zonke zingaholela ekwethembeni kuqhakaze ebuhlotsheni futhi
- Ukuhlela ukusondelana, izikhathi zokugoqana, ukuxolisa kwangempela, ukubhala izincwadi zokubonga, ukwakha amabhodi ombono okwabelwana ngawo ezinye izivivinyo ezisebenzayo zokwakha ukwethembana kwemibhangqwana.
Imicabango Final
Sithemba ukuthi le misebenzi izokwakha kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni izokusiza wena nozakwenu niguqule ikhasi elisha ebudlelwaneni benu. Uma uthola ukuthi ngaphandle kwemizamo yakho emihle, awumethembi umlingani wakho, yazi ukuthi ukwelashwa kwabashadile kungasebenza kakhulu ekusizeni ukuthi uxazulule izinkinga zakho. Eyethu abeluleki fIphaneli ye-rom Bonobology zihlale zikhona ngenxa yakho.
Izingxenye Eziyi-10 Ezibalulekile Zokuthembana Ebudlelwaneni
Ukusinda Endabeni - Izinyathelo Eziyi-12 Zokubuyisela Uthando Nokwethemba Emshadweni
Umyeni Unezinkinga Zokuthenjwa – Incwadi Evulelekile Yomfazi Eya Kumyeni Wakhe
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
