Ngakho-ke, uneminyaka embalwa ushadile futhi uqaphela ukuthi izinto ziyashintsha. Umyeni wakho akasakusekeli noma enze lezo zinto ezincane ukuze enze ukuphila kwakho kube lula. Futhi, uyazibuza ukuthi ngabe unomyeni ongakweseki, futhi uma kunjalo, ubhekana kanjani nakho.
Uma ube nosuku olunzima emsebenzini, ngeke azihluphe ngokwenza lutho ngesidlo sakusihlwa. Uma omunye wabazali bakho noma izingane zakho zingaphilile, wenza okuncane futhi ushiyela ingcindezi nesiphithiphithi kuwe. Hhayi-ke, kubukeka sengathi usuzitholele owakwakho ongakweseki kulungile! Ukubekezelela lokhu kuziphatha okukude nokungabandakanyeki okuvela kulowo okufanele abe umlingani wakho impilo yakhe yonke, ukuma eduze kwakho ebubini nasebubini, kungacindezela kakhulu.
Kungase kuqale ukulimaza isibopho sakho, kube umthombo wezingxabano ezingapheli futhi kukushiye uzizwa sengathi ushadile kodwa ungashadile. Ungahlala kanjani nomyeni ongasekeli, ungase uqale ukuzibuza. Akuyona indawo elula ukuba kuyo, siyaqonda. Kodwa ngobuhlakani obuncane, ungakwazi ukubhekana nesimo ngokuphumelelayo. Siyakutshela ukuthi kanjani.
Izimpawu Ezi-5 Zokuthi Unomyeni Ongakusekeli
Okuqukethwe
Kungenzeka ukuthi umyeni wakho wayehlukile ngesikhathi nishada okokuqala. Mhlawumbe izinto zashintsha futhi awusabonakali uyinto eza kuqala kuye. Mhlawumbe, izingcindezi zomsebenzi kanye nempilo yomuntu siqu ziye zamboza uhlangothi lwakhe lozwela nolusekelayo owawuluthanda kakhulu. Noma mhlawumbe useqalile ukukuthatha kalula. Mhlawumbe uzibuza ukuthi ngabe ugcine unomyeni okhohlisayo . Naphezu kwezizathu zokuziphatha kwakhe, nazi izimpawu ezi-5 zomyeni ongasekeli okufanele uzibheke ukuze wazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi ubhekene nani:
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-15 Eziphezulu Zomyeni Onobugovu, Futhi Kungani Enjalo
1. Lapho isimo siba nzima, usephumile!
Uma kunomsebenzi owengeziwe endlini, ukhathele kakhulu. Uma kukhona umsebenzi okumele wenziwe, umatasa kakhulu. Uma umuntu egula, uyenqaba ukunakekela noma yini ngempela. Lowo wokugcina ukhungathekisa kakhulu ngoba akukho okubi njengomyeni ongamondli ngesikhathi egula.
Lokho akusho ukuthi akavunyelwe ukukhathala noma ukuba matasa, kodwa uma lokhu kwenzeka njalo, ngokuqinisekile kungenye yezimpawu zomyeni ongasekeli. Ngeke usakwazi ukuthembela kuye ukuthi uzokuthola iqolo. Eqinisweni, ngaphezu kwakhe, ungathembela ekuqinisekeni kwakhe ukuthi akakaze abe khona kuwe nomndeni lapho kubaluleke kakhulu.
2. Akalokothi abungaze impumelelo yakho
Cabanga ukuthi uthole isikhundla esikhulu emsebenzini bese uphuthuma ekhaya uyotshela umyeni wakho. Esikhundleni sokuthi akujabulele, uyakwenqaba noma akutshele ukuthi akuyona into enkulu kangako. Injabulo yakho iyaphela futhi uchitha ubusuku uwedwa, udla ukudla okungenamsoco futhi ucabanga, “Nkulunkulu, ngiyamzonda umyeni wami ongangisekeli.”
Lapho umyeni wakho eyeka ukuba umthombo wakho wamandla nokukhanya kwesikhuthazo, kufana nokulahla ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni. Uma engeke ahlanganyele ekunqobeni nasekuhluleni kwakho.
3. Uma udinga ukuphuma, akekho
Asibhekane nakho. Esinye sezizathu eziyinhloko esenza sishade noma singene ebudlelwaneni yingoba sibe nomuntu ozikhiphayo unomphela. Kodwa umyeni wakho akekho nje. Ube nosuku olubi futhi ufuna ngempela ukukhipha konke, kodwa umyeni wakho ongakusekeli ngokomzwelo udlala imidlalo ocingweni lwakhe. Awukho ngisho nomsindo wenhlonipho othi 'hmm' ukuze enze sengathi ulalele.
Noma uthi udlula esigabeni esinzima, ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo, kodwa akekho nje ukuze akunikeze induduzo oyidingayo ukuze udlule. U-Amanda waqaphela ukuthi wayesebenzelana nomyeni owayengameseki ngemva kokubeletha lapho enqaba ukusiza ngengane futhi wamenza wazizwa edangele futhi ezizwa ekhululekile ngisho nalapho elwa nenkinga yangemva kokubeletha.
Uyakhumbula: “Wenza kwaba sengathi ukushintsha kwemizwa yami kwakuyiphutha lami. Kwakuyisikhathi esivivinya ngempela esavivinya ukuqina komshado wethu.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Okufanele Ukwenze Lapho Umyeni Wakho Ekuhleba
4. Uhlale ekushiya ulenga
Kunomcimbi womndeni noma isidlo sakusihlwa nozakwenu, futhi akaqinisekisi kuze kube umzuzu wokugcina. Bese futhi, akaveli njalo. Ngobambiswano olulinganayo, noma kunoma ibuphi ubudlelwano, kuyinhlonipho eyisisekelo ukwazisa othile uma uyeza, noma uma ubambezelekile. Uma kungenjalo, nakanjani unomlingani ongesekeli.
Izenzo zakhe zingase zikushiye uzizwe sengathi izinto ezibalulekile kuwe azibalwa. Ibhalansi yamandla emshadweni izohlale ivuna yena uma engasekeli futhi engafuni ukuxolisa ngakho.
5. Akaphindiseli
Kungaba ukusondelana ngokomzimba, uthando, noma imisebenzi yasekhaya ehlanganyelwe, umyeni wakho akakuphenduli. Ezinsukwini eziningi, kuzwakala sengathi uthwala umshado wedwa. Uqala izingxoxo, ukusondelana futhi wenze izinhlelo zempelasonto ezingacacile, unethemba lokuthi uzojabula. Kodwa akakufuni. Bese uqala ukuzibuza ukuthi umyeni wakho akakufuni yini.
Kodwa akanandaba nenhliziyo yakho emnyama. Uqeda nje umsebenzi, bese ebuka ezemidlalo futhi engakhulumi nawe noma nezingane. Yebo, nasi esinye isenzakalo lapho uthola khona ukuququda amazinyo futhi uvungame, “Ngiyamzonda umyeni wami ongangisekeli!”
Uphathwa Kanjani Nomyeni Ongeseke
Kulungile-ke nixabene, nilwe, nicwebe izinyembezi futhi nibambe amazinyo ngenxa yomyeni wakho ongakwesekayo. Manje yini? Uyahamba uyaphuma? Ingabe uhlala futhi wenze kusebenze? Ingabe uqhubeka nokudla izikhwama ezinkulu zama-chips ekhoneni futhi ukhononda? Ungahlala kanjani nomyeni ongasekeli ngaphandle kokulimaza impilo yakho yengqondo? Ingabe ukungasekeli kwakhe kuyisizathu esanele sokuqeda umshado?
Imibuzo enjengale ingakukhathaza ngaso sonke isikhathi, njengamafu amnyama emkhathizwe, ebonisa inhlekelele ezayo. Ungalokothi wesabe, sikuphathele iqolo. Asisho ukuthi lawa macebiso azoguqula owakwakho ongakusekeli abe yilawo madoda ezincwadini zika-Nicholas Sparks, kodwa ngethemba ukuthi azokusiza uqonde umyeni wakho, futhi ubhekane kangcono nalesi simo. Nazi izindlela ezingu-9 zokubhekana nomyeni ongasekeli.
1. Xoxa nomyeni wakho ongakusekeli
U-Gina noMark base beshadile iminyaka engu-3 kanti u-Gina wayenezinyanga ezi-5 ekhulelwe. Inkinga yakhe noMark ingafinyezwa emushweni owodwa: Ukukhulelwa okuhleliwe kodwa manje ungumyeni ongamsekeli. Ngamanye amazwi, uMark wayefuna izingane, wayejabule kakhulu lapho ekhulelwa, kodwa manje wayesephenduke umyeni ongasekeli ngokuphelele ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa.
Lesi simo sengqondo saqhubeka isikhathi eside ngemva kokubeletha. UGina wayebhekene nomyeni wakhe owayengameseki ngemva kokubeletha futhi ukukhathala kwakho konke kwaqala ukumlimaza. Wakhungatheka kakhulu kangangokuthi wacabanga ukukhulisa ingane eyedwa nokuba umama ophumelelayo nongayedwa.
Wayethukuthele futhi ekhathele ukuba angaxoxa noMark, ngakho wacisha wacisha. Kodwa njengoba kwenzeka, lapho ekugcineni ezama ukukhuluma, kwavela ukuthi uMark wayengazi ukuthi enzeni ukuze amsekele futhi wayesaba ukwenza okubi. Yebo bekumele athathe umsebenzi wokufuna ukufunda nokunye, kodwa ukuthula kukaGina ecasukile kwamqhubezela kude.
Uma ubulokhu uthulisa umyeni wakho ongakusekeli ngokomzwelo, ungamtsheli. Hlala phansi umbuze ukuthi kukhona yini okumkhathazayo. Bese uzama ukumtshela ngokungajabuli kwakho nalokho okudingayo kuye. Ungakuguquli kube umdlalo wokusola , yiba nobulungisa futhi uzame ukuba mnene.
2. Qoqa uhlelo lwakho lokusekela
Kuyiqiniso ukuthi asikwazi ukuthola konke ukwesekwa esikudingayo kumuntu oyedwa, ngisho noma engabalingani bethu bomphefumulo. Qiniseka ukuthi uneqembu labangane nomndeni ongaphendukela kulo noma nini lapho uzizwa uphoxekile ngowakwakho ongakusekeli. Lokhu kubaluleka nakakhulu uma usebenzelana nomyeni ongakweseki ngesikhathi sokugula lapho udinga kokubili ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo nokokusebenza ukuze ubhekane nakho.
Lokho akusho ukuthi uyabayeka, vele uqiniseke ukuthi awuzilahli zonke izidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo kubo bese uyacasuka lapho bengakwazi ukukunikeza okudingayo. Kunezinhlobo ezithile zokusekela kuphela izintombi zakho ezingakunikeza ngokweqiniso phezu kwezingilazi ezimbalwa zewayini.
Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokuthethisa umyeni wakho, gcona ingubo yakho oyithandayo futhi uhlangane namantombazane. (Ibhonasi: Uthola ukukhononda ngomyeni wakho ongakweseki, futhi!) Kungase kube nzima ukuthi ekugcineni ukwazi ukuphumela obala kubantu abanendaba ngempela nalokho obhekene nakho, futhi uzizwe uzwakala futhi usekelwa.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Okuhlangenwe Nakho Kwemibhangqwana Engu-6 Ngendlela Ukwelashwa Ngenkulumo Okusize Ngayo Ubudlelwano Babo
3. Thola usizo lochwepheshe
UMatt noBill babenezinyanga ezimbalwa nje beshadile lapho uBill ephuka iqakala lapho eqwala izintaba. Elele embhedeni futhi engakwazi ukwenza lutho olutheni, wayethemba ukuthi uMatt wayezosukuma amnakekele. Ngeshwa, uMatt wayengakwazi ukwenza imisebenzi encane futhi wenze okuncane kakhulu kuBill. Okubi nakakhulu, wayebonakala engacabangi ukuthi kukhona okunye okumele akwenze.
Izinto zaba zimbi nakakhulu, lapho uBill esola uMat ngokungabi nandaba naye, noMatt ethi uBill wayeseyingane. Ekugcineni, njengoba umshado wabo omusha wawulenga, banquma ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe. Umyeni ongasekeli ngesikhathi sokugula yimbi kakhulu. Kodwa endabeni kaMatt noBill, ukwelapha kwakuwusizo.
UBill uvumile ukuthi usejwayele ukudunyiswa ngisho noma enomkhuhlane, kanti uMatt wakhulela nomama ongayedwana futhi wayejwayele ukuzinakekela kodwa akekho omunye. Usizo lochwepheshe lukunikeza indawo ephephile yokuzwakalisa izikhalo zakho futhi uxhumane kangcono. Futhi ukuya ehhovisi likamelaphi (ikakhulukazi) akubuhlungu kakhulu kunokuya kummeli wesahlukaniso.
4. Mnikeze isikhala lapho esidinga
Uma oshade naye esejwayele isilinganiso esithile sesikhala somzimba nesomzwelo, kungenzeka ukuthi umshado nakho konke okulindelwe kuwo kumenza abe novalo futhi azivikele. Isikhala ebudlelwaneni sibalulekile , ikakhulukazi uma nihlala ekhaya.
Zibuze ukuthi ngabe umminyanisa yini ngokufuna ukwesekwa njalo. Ingabe unaso isikhathi sokucubungula lokho omcela ukuba akwenze ngaphambi kokuthi ungene ngokunyenya ngesidingo esilandelayo? Yebo, bekungaba kuhle uma bonke ubulili bungangena emshadweni bazi kahle ukuthi yini elindeleke kubo, kodwa lokho akuvamile ukwenzeka.
Mvumele ukuthi ajwayelane nezidingo zakho nendlela osebenza ngayo. Mhlawumbe uzogcina engaseyena umngane womshado ongasekeli kangako. Lokhu kungaba usizo ikakhulukazi uma unomuzwa wokuthi unomngane womshado ongasekeli phakathi nosizi. Mhlawumbe, ukulahlekelwa kumthinte ngokujulile. Abantu bacubungula usizi ngendlela ehlukile, futhi kufanele umnikeze ithuba lokusebenzisa imizwa yakhe ukuze abe sekhanda ukuze akunike ukwesekwa okudingayo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Ezingu-21 Zokutshela Ukuthi Unendoda Ezithandayo
5. Bonisa ukwazisa
Sonke siyakuthanda ukuncoma. Siyabathanda ikakhulukazi uma senze izinto kozakwethu futhi bebona. Uma uzibuza ukuthi uzohlala kanjani nomyeni ongameseki, lokhu kungase kube yimpendulo nje yokumenza anikele kakhulu emshadweni.
Uma umyeni wakho ekwazile ukwenza ikhofi lakho kahle kube kanye, mtshele kanjalo. Uma ebesendaweni yokudlela futhi ekhumbula isangweji osithandayo, mbonge ngokumanga okukhulu. Uma ekhumbula igama likamalumekazi wakho nosuku lwakhe lokuzalwa, mtshele ukuthi ungcono kakhulu.
Lalela, asikho isidingo sokubhaka amakhukhi abayeni bethu ukuze bathole ukwesekwa okuncane, kodwa ukwazisa nesikhuthazo kuhamba ibanga elide ekubenzeni bafune ukukwenza futhi. Qaphela izenzo zabo ezincane zokusekela, futhi ubenze bazizwe bethandwa.
6. Mfake ezinqumweni zakho
UMary noJohn babenabantwana ababili. Nakuba uJohn wayengeyena umyeni ongasekeli phakathi nokukhulelwa, uMary waba nomuzwa wokuthi wayeshelela lapho izingane sezikhulile kancane. Esinye isibonelo sokukhulelwa okuhleliwe kodwa manje umyeni ongasekeli. Nokho, njengoba kwenzeka, uMary wenza zonke izinqumo maqondana nezingane - amagama azo, izingubo zazo, izinsuku zazo zokudlala - eshiya uJohn enomuzwa wokuthi wayengenayo indima yangempela ekukhulisweni kwazo.
Wahoxa, eqiniseka ukuthi akudingeki enze okuningi noma anikeze ukwesekwa. Lapho uMary ekuqonda lokhu ( ukuxhumana ebudlelwaneni kusebenza izimanga!), izinto zathuthuka. Kubalulekile ukuthi bobabili abalingani bazizwe bezwiwa futhi bedingeka ebudlelwaneni. Uma ucela ukwesekwa, kulungile ukuthi umlingani wakho afakwe ezinqumweni ezinkulu ozenzayo.
Akudingekile ukuthi umbuze ukuthi kufanele yini ugqoke ingubo ebomvu noma izicathulo eziluhlaza lapho uzikhipha kusihlwa, kodwa uma kuphathelene nezingane noma indlu noma isimiso, ufanelwe ukungena kukho. Ukumenza abe yingxenye yazo zonke izici zokuphila kwakho komshado, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kukhulu noma kuncane kangakanani, kungaba isihluthulelo sokubhekana ngokuphumelelayo nomyeni ongasekeli ngokuphumelelayo futhi kuguqule izinto zibe ngcono.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Uthando Ngemva Komshado: Izindlela Eziyi-9 Ezihlukile Ngazo Othandweni Ngaphambi Komshado
7. Qonda okudingayo vs okufunayo
Zicabange umile esitolo sakho sekhofi osithandayo. Ulambile futhi ufuna ikhekhe elikhulu elinoqweqwe lukashizi ongukhilimu ongu-60%. Kodwa okudingayo ukuze uzizwe ugcwele ukudla okufanele - isangweji noma inkomishi yesithelo. Manje sebenzisa umqondo ofanayo kumyeni wakho ongakusekeli. Ufuna ukuthi akulinde esandleni nasezinyaweni, abe umpheki omnandi futhi ukhumbule amagama abo bonke abazala bakho besibili abayi-7.
Kodwa udinga ukuthi akhumbule ukuyolanda izingane esikoleni ngoLwesibili, akunikeze ukubhucungwa kwezinyawo lapho ube nosuku olunzima futhi abonise isidlo sakusihlwa sikamama wakho ngesikhathi. Ungamthukutheleli ngokungeyona indoda engelona iqiniso ye-Harlequin efeza zonke izifiso zakho futhi efunda ingqondo yakho.
Uma ekunikeza ukwesekwa okudingayo, uma ekuthanda futhi ekukhulisa ngezindlela ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni, mhlawumbe lokho kulungile okwamanje. Angaqhubeka nokusebenza kulawo makhono okupheka amnandi, noma kunjalo!
8. Vuma amaphutha akho
Yebo, ukusebenzelana nomyeni ongasekeli kungase kufane nokulahlwa ngokomzwelo emshadweni. Kodwa khumbula, kuthatha ababili ku-tango. Ukuze uqonde indlela engcono yokubhekana nalesi simo, udinga ukubheka ngaphakathi. Siyakuzonda ukukuphula, kodwa awuphelele.
Futhi kuyasiza njalo ngemva kwesikhashana, ukuzibheka isikhathi eside, futhi ubone ukuthi akukho yini okwenzayo okuqalisa ukuziphatha komyeni wakho ongasekeli. Ingabe uhlale umsola ngokuthi akenzi okwanele? Ingabe uyaliphakamisa izwi lakho ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ehluleka? Ingabe uthi ‘ngiyacela’ futhi ‘ngiyabonga’ lapho umcela ukuba enze izinto, noma lapho okuthile kwenziwa? (Yebo, ukuziphatha kubalulekile ngisho nalapho ushadile.)
Vuma amaphutha akho bese ubona ukuthi ningasebenzisana kuphi futhi nisekelane. Ungakwenzi kube umzabalazo wamandla ebudlelwaneni . Phela, ukwesekwa nothando kuyizindlela ezimbili.
9. Qonda ulimi lwakhe lothando
Kungenzeka ukuthi kuwena, ukwesekwa kusho ukwanga okuningi namagama akhuthazayo angapheli. Nakuba kumyeni wakho, kusho ukuqaphela lapho itiye olithandayo selizophela bese ulibuyisela esikhundleni. Noma ulungisa i-engeli yesikrini sekhompuyutha yakho ukuze ungabambeki. Mhlawumbe, unomuzwa wokuthi usebenzisana nomyeni ongakweseki ngesikhathi ugula ngoba akazange athumele umyalezo wokuthi akuhlole.
Kodwa indlela yakhe yokuveza ukukhathazeka kwakhe nokusekela kungaba ukukulethela isobho elishisayo embhedeni noma ukuqinisekisa ukuthi uphuze imithi yakho. Wonke umuntu unezindlela zakhe zokubonisa ukwesekwa, futhi uma ulimi lothando lomyeni wakho luhlukile, ungamgxeki njengomyeni ongakusekeli ngokomzwelo. Zinike isikhathi esincane, uqonde izindlela zakhe zokubonisa ukwesekwa, futhi mhlawumbe yilokho kuphela okuzodingeka ukwenze.
Ukwesekana kungenye yezinsika zomshado, futhi akuwona neze umqondo omubi ukucela okuthile. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi ucabange futhi ube nomusa ngaphambi kokuba ube nezinkinga kumyeni wakho ongakusekeli ngokomzwelo. Ngakho, qhubeka. Dlala kahle, thola usizo uma kudingeka futhi ucace ngalokho okudingayo. Ukwesekwa kuzofika.
Umyeni Ongavikelekile: Amathiphu angu-14 Okusebenza Naye Namathiphu angu-3 Okumsiza
Izinto Eziyi-12 Okufanele Uzenze Lapho Umyeni Wakho Ekhetha Umndeni Wakhe Ngaphezu Kwakho
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
