Izinto Ezingu-10 Okufanele Uzenze Uma Intombi Yakho Ikuziba

“Intombi yami ayinginaki.” Amagama amahlanu ashiwo ngokwesaba. Ubudlelwano bakho busonqenqemeni futhi awazi nhlobo ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ngokulandelayo. Uma intombi yakho ikuziba futhi ungaqiniseki ukuthi kungani, kungaba nzima ukukala imizwa yayo noma ukuqonda ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ngokulandelayo.

Yena, owayejatshuliswa ukukubona (noma ngisho nombhalo wakho walolo daba), usethola izizathu zokukuziba njengokungathi ungumuntu ongamazi omcuphileyo. Uthola ibheyili ngokuhlangana nawe. Naye ucasuka akhungatheke kalula futhi uzizwe sengathi uthola izizathu zokungahlali eduze kwakho. Nakuba lokhu kungase kucasule, asikho isidingo sokucasuka. Uma ufuna ukuthi ayeke ukukuziba futhi afinyelele ekugcineni kodaba, usufike endaweni efanele namuhla.

Ingabe Intombazane Ingakuthanda Ibe Ingakunaki?

Abesifazane abaningi (nabesilisa) bavame ukubonakala bekude futhi bengenandaba ebudlelwaneni ngezinye izikhathi. Ngisho noma kuzwakala sengathi kuyinkinga enkulu noma ngisho nophawu lokukhohlisa ngokomzwelo , kungase kungabi njalo. Intombazane ingakuthanda kakhulu kodwa ingakuniki ukunakwa okufunayo.

Kungenzeka ukuthi ucasukile noma uphoxekile ngawe, njengoba ungaziphathi ngendlela ayifunayo. Kuwukuziphatha kwakhe okungenzi lutho, futhi akusho ukuthi useqalile ukukhuluma nensizwa entsha. Mhlawumbe akeneme ngezenzo zakho noma uzizwa engenasiqiniseko ngobudlelwano kanye nalokhu kuzibophezela. Kunoma ikuphi, ubhekene nokuthile okusemqondweni wakhe, yingakho engakwazi ukukunika uthando abekade ekunika lona.

Kungani Intombi Yami Ingiziba Ngokungazelelwe?

Lapho intombi yakho ingakunaki futhi ingenzi 'okuvamile,' 'kungani' kwakho kungase kudide izingqondo ezinhle kakhulu. Izinto zingase zidideke lapho enza ngale ndlela, kodwa ukuthola isizathu ngemuva kwehlombe lakhe kungase kukucacisele okudingayo futhi kususe ukukhathazeka okukuzungezile.

Ingabe umlingani wakho uyakukhandela noma ukuthulisa ? Izizathu ezingaba khona ngemuva kwalokho zicacile ngokwemvelo. Ngakho-ke esikhundleni sokumthukuthelela bese siqala ukulwa, ake siqale umnyombo wenkinga. Nazi ezinye zezizathu lapho intombi yakho ingakunaki.

1. Unezinto eziningi epuletini lakhe

Uma intombi yakho ingawuphenduli umyalezo wakho, ungagxumeli isibhamu ucabange ukuthi ingoba ikuzonda futhi isithandana nomunye umuntu. Mhlawumbe intombazane yakho iyinyosi ematasa futhi imane ibanjwe umsebenzi noma umphathi wayo oyisicefe. Kungenzeka ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buye babuyela emuva ngenxa yesimiso sakhe esimatasa.

Umfundi wase-Omaha ukuqinisekisile lokhu lapho esibhalela, “Ubehlala ekhuluma ngocingo, futhi lokho kwangixaka. Bengicabanga (ngokungalungile) ukuthi intombi yami iyangikhohlwa bese ikhuluma nabanye abafana esikhundleni salokho. Kodwa ingxoxo eqondile ngayo yacacisa izinto kahle. Kwakuyizinkinga eziningi zomsebenzi.” Ngicabanga ukuthi umuntu angathi ukuthandana nomuntu othanda umsebenzi akuyona into elula!

2. Izinto ziye zaba nesicefe

Lesi ngesinye sezizathu eziphezulu lapho intombi yakho ingakunaki njalo. Izinto ziba zimbi ngemva kwesikhashana lapho isigaba sehoneymoon siphela futhi ubudlelwano bakho obuzibophezele buqala ukuzizwa njengomsebenzi omningi. Bobabili ozakwethu bayayeka ukwenza imizamo yokulondoloza uthando.

Angase angakunaki nhlobo; mhlawumbe usekhathele yindlela eniyijwayele eningene kuyo nobabili. Akukhona ukuthi akakuthandi, kodwa akawuthandi lo mkhuba kanye nesithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni.

3. Kungenzeka ukuthi nguwe onecala

Uma intombi yakho ikuziba, kusho ukuthini? Mayelana nalokhu, cabanga uma ubungenza okuthile okungalungile. Uma ungazange ube isoka noma intombi enhle muva nje, khona-ke lesi isizathu esisobala ngemuva kokudlidliza kwakhe okubandayo. Ingabe ubungenandaba nezidingo zakhe? Ingabe ukhohlwe okuthile okubalulekile kuye? Ingabe uke washo into ebuhlungu phakathi nengxabano?

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4. Esinye isizathu sokuthi angakunaki ukuthi udinga isikhathi sami

Lapho intombi yakho ingase ikuzibe, yeka isikhathi esithile. Isikhala phakathi kozakwethu ababili sibaluleke ngendlela emangalisayo. Akazami ukukugwema; uvele ahluleke ukuzibamba ngoba udinga isikhathi sakhe. Kuleli qophelo, kufanele uzame ukungakuthatheli mathupha ukuziphatha kwakhe. Abesifazane bavame ukungena emagobolondweni abo uma izinto ziba nzima kakhulu.

Ubudlelwano bungaba nzima kakhulu, futhi kaningi, abantu abakho esikhaleni esifanele sokunikela ngalokho okudingekayo. Intombi yakho cishe idinga ukuba yodwa futhi ilungise izinto. Isikhathi esincane nemicabango yayo yilokho cishe ekucelayo. Kufanele ikutshele lokho ngokucacile ukuze ungaqali ukucabanga ukuthi, “Intombi yami iyangishaya indiva futhi ikhuluma nabanye abafana.” Vele uyinike isikhala ebudlelwaneni , futhi izobuya kuwe.

5. Akasenandaba nawe

Lokhu kungenzeka kubonakale kudlulele, kodwa kufanele ukucabangele noma kunjalo. Uma intombi yakho ikuziba, kungaba olunye lwezimpawu ukuthi umlingani wakho uphelelwa intshisekelo ebudlelwaneni. Kungase kube nezizathu eziningi ezibangela lokhu: usethole omunye ongcono, senihlukene nobabili, akukho ukusondelana phakathi kwenu, njll. Useyekile ukufaka umfutho ngoba ebona isiphetho esiseduze kahle. Mhlawumbe ulinde isikhathi esifanele ukuze akutshele izindaba.

6. Uzizwa engaqondwa kahle nguwe

Ngoba konke okwaziyo, intombi yakho kungenzeka ukuthi yenza ngale ndlela ngoba izizwa sengathi awunakiwe kwasekuqaleni. Mhlawumbe wabelane nawe ngamaphupho akhe ephrojekthi entsha, iholidi alilondolozela, noma isinqumo esikhulu sempilo afuna ukusithatha. Kungenzeka ukuthi umxoshe ungaqondile okwenza azizwe engafanele.

Ingabe uzama ukuthola umsebenzi omusha ongawuthakaselanga kangako? Noma ingabe usanda kwenza into entsha yokuzilibazisa ovele wahlekisa ngayo? Uma intombi yakho ingakunaki, kungase kube yingoba iyaphambana nawe ngokungaziniki isikhathi sokutshala kuyo.

7. Uyadelela ebudlelwaneni

Lapho intombi yakho ibonakala ingenasithakazelo, kungase kube ukuthi uyithatha kalula. Niyakhumbula lapho nina nobabili nijwayele ukuya kumamuvi njalo ngoLwesihlanu? Noma lapho nina nobabili nibhalisele ikilasi lokubhaka ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule? Kungenzeka yini ukuthi ubuchitha isikhathi esiseqophelweni eliphezulu nentombi yakho ngaphambi kwesikhathi osisona manje?

Ubusuku bakho bokuqomisana manje sekuyi-Netflix ne-pizza nje okumenza azizwe sengathi awuwenzi umzamo ebudlelwaneni . Esinye sezizathu eziphezulu zokuthi angakuniki isikhathi ukuthi udumele ngendlela obumphatha ngayo. Uyakuthanda kakhulu, kodwa udabukile ngendlela osuze wazethemba ngayo. Ukhathele ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni bakho eyedwa, futhi ekugcineni usethathe isinyathelo sokubuyela emuva.

Izinto Ezingu-10 Okufanele Uzenze Uma Intombi Yakho Ikuziba

Lesi kungaba esinye sezimo futhi: Konke bekuhamba kahle ezinsukwini ezimbalwa noma emasontweni edlule. Wabe eseqala ukukuziba futhi ulwa nemizwa exubile mayelana nokuthi kwenzakalani. “Intombi yami ayinginaki ngemva kokuphola kwethu kokugcina” noma “Intombi yami ivele ingizibe njalo lapho ngizama ukukhuluma nayo” yizinto ezikhathazayo ezihlale zinkeneneza engqondweni yakho.

Sinazo izimpendulo zemibuzo yakho. Uma enentshisekelo yeqiniso kuwe, ungakhathazeki ngoba uzofika. Zama ukuthi ungazizwa ungavikelekile futhi wenze lezi zinto ukuze ubuyisele ukusondelana kwakho endleleni:

1. “Yini okufanele ngiyenze lapho intombi yami inganginaki?” - Thatha isinyathelo emuva

Ukholelwa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi usecabanga kabusha ngobuhlobo benu. Kodwa ngokwazi kwakho, kukhona okunye ukucindezeleka empilweni yakhe okumenza azizwe ngale ndlela. Kungaba umsebenzi, umndeni wakhe, noma nje ukulwa nomngane wakhe omkhulu. Ukukhungatheka kwakhe kukhombisa ukuthi kukhona okumkhathazayo futhi akafuni ukuthi ube yingxenye yalokho njengamanje. Kufanele udwebe umugqa phakathi kothando nobumfihlo ebudlelwaneni.

Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi awuchithi isikhathi sakho ucabanga ukuthi kungani edinga ukuba kude nawe, kufanele uzigcine ubambe iqhaza ngendlela ephumelelayo. Sebenzisa lesi sikhathi ukuze uphishekele izinto ozilibazisayo nezithandayo. Isibonelo, uma uthanda ukudoba, lesi kungaba isikhathi esihle sokuzitholela izinto ezintsha zokudoba bese uzama.

Ngokufanayo, uma ujabulela ukuba semvelweni, zihlele i-rig yokukhempa futhi uchithe isikhathi esithile ehlathini. Ukuhamba ngebhayisikili, umculo, ukufunda, ukwenza ingadi, imidlalo ye-adventure ... Yenza noma yini ekunikeza umuzwa wokwaneliseka. Futhi okwamanje, mshiye yedwa.

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2. Ungamnaki uma efika

Uma intombi yakho ingawuphenduli umbhalo wakho, yebo, kuba kubi. Kodwa ungazami ukwenza into efanayo kuye lapho esephinde wathintana nawe. Kuzokwenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu.

Uma uqala ukumshaya indiva ngoba ekushaya indiva, kuzomane kumxoshe kakhulu. Ungamthukutheleli bese uqala ukubona abanye besifazane ukuze umenze azizwe kabi. Ukuvuthwa kubaluleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, ikakhulukazi uma nibhekene nezinkinga ezinzima . Ukulandela izinyathelo zentombi yakho kungaba yingozi kakhulu kulokhu. Melana nesifiso sokuziphindiselela kuyo. Kunalokho, mnike ukunaka okwengeziwe uma ikucela.

3. Mhlawumbe ucabanga kakhulu ngakho

Kukho konke okwaziyo, kungase kungabi nezizathu eziningi kangako zokuthi kungani intombi yakho ikude. Ngakho-ke, ithiphu elisheshayo kuwe ukuthi uyeke ukucabanga ngokweqile bese uzama ukubona izinto ngendlela obukeka ngayo. Okubonakala sengathi ukukuziba kungase kube ukugxilisa kwakhe amandla akhe emsebenzini othile, ukuphinde axhumane nabangane, noma unenyanga ematasa enakekela abazali bakhe. Okungase kubonakale kuyizimpawu ezixubile kungase kube ukukhungatheka kwakhe.

Kungenzeka ukuthi ubelokhu efana njalo, kodwa noma ngabe uyakubona manje noma ufuna ukunakwa okwengeziwe kunokujwayelekile. Mhlawumbe uyisoka noma intombi edinga usizo futhi akazi ukuthi angabhekana kanjani nalolu hlangothi lwakho njengoba esezizwa ekhungathekile kakade.

4. Uma intombi yakho ikuziba, yiba nomusa kuyo

Yini okufanele uyenze uma intombi yakho ingakunaki izinsuku? Mthande nokho. Yize kuzwakala sengathi intombi yakho ikwenza isihluku ngokusuka kude, zama ukuyithanda naphezu kwakho konke lokho. Menze azi ukuthi uyamthanda futhi uzimisele ukwenza lobu budlelwano busebenze kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani. Uma ebhekene nesimo esinzima, udinga ukuba nomusa nakakhulu kuye.

Kuleli qophelo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, akadingi ukungqubuzana okwengeziwe nokulwa, kodwa sekusele isikhathi eside. Udinga umuntu ozomnakekela futhi abe khona njengomngani wakhe kuqala. Kulokhu, udinga ukumphatha kahle kunokuba uxabane naye. Yenza ukudla akuthandayo, mkhiphe uhambo olude ngezinsuku acindezelekile, noma ube naye lapho esebenza kanzima ebusuku kakhulu ukuze umenze azizwe enesizungu. Kuzomsiza ukuthi aphinde axhumane nawe lapho ebona ukuthi ukukhathalela kangakanani.

5. Mqinisekise ukuthi ulapho ngenxa yakhe

Uma uzibuza ukuthi “Yini okufanele uyenze uma intombi yami ingiziba?” yazi ukuthi ukukuziba akusho ukuthi akakuthandi. Yize engakunaki njengamanje, kodwa uthando lwakhe ngawe alukancipha. Hhayi ezenzweni zakho kuphela, kodwa futhi kufanele uyiqinisekise ngamazwi intombi yakho ukuthi uyayithanda. Kuzosiza ukubuyisela ukuzethemba kwakhe kuwe futhi uzokuvulela isifuba ngokushesha kunokuba kamuva. Udinga ukwazi ukuthi ukhona ngenxa yakhe kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani.

Uma intombi yakho ingakunaki lapho ninobudlelwano obukude, khuluma nayo esikhundleni sokudlala noma yimiphi imidlalo yokusola. Thola ukuthi yini engalungile futhi umsize ngokomzwelo. Ukwazi ukuthi umtholile kuzomenza azizwe evikelekile futhi ebudlelwaneni.

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6. Thola ukuthi ucindezelekile yini noma unesikhathi esinzima

Esinye sezizathu ezenza aziphathe ngendlela exakile eduze kwakho kungaba ukuthi intombi yakho kungenzeka icindezelekile. Kade engalali yini muva nje? Ingabe ubonakala ekhathele kakhulu kunokujwayelekile? Ingabe useyekile uku-oda isaladi yakhe ye-chili ye-chili eyintandokazi endaweni yase-Asia eduze nendlu yakhe?

Ngokusho kweNational Sleep Foundation , abantu abanenkinga yokungalali banamathuba aphindwe kayishumi okuba nokucindezeleka kunalabo abangenayo le nkinga. Uma intombi yakho iyeka ukukhuluma nawe ngemva kokulwa, ungayinaki nje bese uyilinda ukuthi ikusize. Hlola impilo yayo yengqondo.

Uma ebonisa izimpawu zokucindezeleka, udinga ukuthatha izinyathelo zokuthola usizo lwakhe. Ubudlelwano obuningi buyahlupheka ngenxa yokungazi ngezinkinga zempilo yengqondo yomlingani wakho. Ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kungakusiza udlule kulesi sikhathi esinzima ndawonye. Kwa-Bonobology, sinabeluleki nabelaphi abahlukahlukene abangakusekela. Ukwelapha kuseduze nje ngokuchofoza.

7. Menze akhulume futhi uma kukhona okungahambi kahle

“Intombi yami ingishaya indiva isonto lonke.” “Intombi yami ingishaya indiva ngemva kokulwa.” — Ubona zonke izimpawu zokuthi umlingani wakho ulahlekelwa yisithakazelo ebudlelwaneni. Uma sekudlule isonto lonke ngemva kokulwa futhi nina nobabili ningakhulumi, khona-ke siyaqonda ukucindezeleka kwakho ekutholeni ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze ngokulandelayo. Nakuba ungase uzizwe ucasukile, kubalulekile ukugcina zonke iziteshi zokuxhumana zivulekile. Xoxa naye ngokwenzekayo.

Uma engafuni ukukhuluma nganoma yini engathi sína, vele ukhulume ngokujwayelekile. Mbuze umbuzo olula njengokuthi inja yakhe iqhuba kanjani, uma idinga amaqanda engeziwe noma okunye ukudla. Mtshele mayelana nosuku lwakho noma imuvi entsha oyibukile. Thatha isinyathelo sokuqala, uma engenzi kanjalo.

8. Ungazinaki uma intombi yakho ikuziba

UJo, umfundi waseLouisiana wathi: “I-gf yami eyayinganginaki yayibuhlungu kangangokuthi ngaqala ukuphuza nokuya ephathini ukuze ngiziphazamise kukho.” Ekugcineni, ngagula kangangokuthi kwadingeka ngeqe isonto lonke emsebenzini. Phakathi nokuzulazula ngezizathu zokuthi intombi yakho ibambe iqhaza, kulula ukulahlekelwa ukuzihlonipha kwakho kanye nendlela osebenza ngayo.

Udinga ukusindisa ubudlelwano bakho , kodwa udinga ukuzisindisa kuqala. Cabanga ngawe nezidingo zakho. Ukungazinakekeli kuzokubangela isiphithiphithi futhi uzoba yisigqila futhi uphelelwe yithemba, hhayi umuntu amthandayo.

Sebenzisa lesi sikhathi ukutshala empilweni yakho engokomzimba nengokomzwelo. Ungaqala ngokudla ukudla okunempilo futhi uzibophezele ohlelweni olusha lokujima. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, qaphela impilo yakho yengqondo. Ukulalela itheyipu yokuzindla imizuzu embalwa ngosuku noma ukusebenza ne-meditation guru ubuso nobuso kungasiza ngempela ukuthobisa ingqondo yakho. Zama ukungagxili kuye futhi umnikeze isikhathi esithile. Ungavumeli amasignali akhe axubile afinyelele kuwe kakhulu.

9. Zinike isikhathi sokucabanga ngobudlelwano

Kungenzeka ukuthi intombi yakho yayizithela ngabandayo ngenxa yokuthi yayicindezelekile ngomsebenzi ozayo noma igajwe ezinye izingcindezi empilweni yayo. Kodwa-ke, kwezinye izimo, kungase kubonise uhlobo oluthile lokungahambisani ebuhlotsheni bakho, yingakho kungenzeka ukuthi uyasuka kuwe.

Esikhundleni sokumphoqa ukuthi akuthande noma ubhekane naye njalo, zinike isikhathi sokucabangela lobu budlelwano ngombono wakho wedwa. Ujabule? Ingabe kukhona okungahambi kahle? Ingabe nobabili niphikisana kaningi ebuhlotsheni ? Zama ukuqonda ukuthi yini eshintshile ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule phakathi kwenu nobabili, okungaba yimbangela yokuthi angakhulumi nawe kakhulu.

10. Nakisisa konke akushoyo

Ngisho noma engakhulumi nawe njalo noma ngokucacile, mlalelisise. Ukuma kancane kwakhe, izimpendulo zakhe embhalweni — ungazibi lezi zinto ezincane. Yilezi zinto ezingase ziveze indlela azizwa ngayo uma engakuvezi obala. Ungase uxolise kuye ngokuthile futhi avele athi “Ungakhathazeki, kulungile.” Kodwa-ke akasakukhulumisi amanye amahora ayi-10. Kuyacaca ukuthi unesizathu sokukholelwa ukuthi usacasukile nakuba ekutshelile ukuthi izinto zilungile.

Empeleni, ungathathi izinto ngendlela ozibona ngayo. Enye ingxenye yokukuziba kwakho iphinde ifihle imizwa yakhe kuwe. Ngakho-ke ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho esabela noma ephendula kunoma yini oyishoyo, mbuke ngokucophelela.

Ukushintsha okungazelelwe kokuziphatha okuvela komthandayo kungadumaza ngempela. Kodwa isenzo esingcono kakhulu kuleli cala ukuhlala uhlelekile futhi unomusa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini. Ungamthethisi noma umnikeze isiphetho ngoba lokho kuzomqhubezela kude. Yima ngokuqinile futhi ulungele ukumeseka. Uma kuwuthando lweqiniso, uzobuya. Kodwa uma engakuqapheli ukubaluleka kwakho futhi ekhetha ukungakunaki, mhlawumbe lobu buhlobo bebuzophela. Manje uyazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze.

Lesi sihloko sabuyekezwa ngoJulayi 2023.

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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.

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