Izingxabano ebudlelwaneni ngokungangabazeki ziyisigameko esingemnandi. Ukungaboni ngaso linye, intukuthelo nokukhungatheka okuza nabo, ukuklabalasa kufanelana noma ukuphuma ngesivinini, kushiye indaba ingaxazululiwe, konke kungashiya umuzwa omubi. Ukube besingenza ngendlela yethu, besingeke silwe nomuntu esimthanda kangaka. Kodwa iqiniso liwukuthi noma nithandana kangakanani abantu ababili abazwani kuyo yonke into. Yingakho izingxabano nokulwa kuyinsakavukela umchilo wesidwaba ebudlelwaneni.
Nokho, ngokuphambene nenkolelo yokuthi ukulwa ngenxa yokungezwani kwenu kungalimaza ubuhlobo benu, izingxabano zinempilo ebuhlotsheni benu. Inqobo nje uma uzijwayeza izindlela ezinempilo zokuphikisa futhi ungaweqi umugqa wokusho izinto ezicasulayo noma ezilimazayo noma ukubonisa ukuziphatha okunobuthi.
Yiziphi lezi zindlela zokuphikisana ezinempilo? Iyiphi indlela efanele yokusingatha izingxabano ebudlelwaneni? Sixoxe nomeluleki uManjari Saboo (iMasters in Applied Psychology kanye nePost-Graduate Diploma in Family Therapy kanye neChild Care Counseling), umsunguli weMaitree Counselling, okuyisinyathelo esizinikele enhlalakahleni yemizwa yemindeni nezingane, ukuze sithole ukuqonda ukuthi izingxabano ebudlelwaneni zingaba kanjani nempilo.
Ingabe Kujwayelekile Ukuba Nezingxabano Ebudlelwaneni?
Okuqukethwe
Wake wahlangana nezithandani ezingaxabani, zingavumelani noma zixabane ngezikhathi ezithile? Cha? Lokho kukodwa kukhuluma ngokungagwemeki kokungqubuzana nezingxabano ebuhlotsheni. Abekho abantu ababili, noma ngabe kungakanani ekuvumelaneni, ababuka impilo ngendlela efanayo. Yilokhu okuhlukile okulawula izimpendulo zethu, imicabango kanye nezimbangela zemizwa ezimweni ezahlukene.
Ukuphikisana ebudlelwaneni kumane nje kuwukubonakaliswa kwalokhu kungezwani okuyisisekelo. Njengoba izingxabano nokuxabana kungathandeki, kungasiholela ekubhekeni izingxabano njengento embi. Njengoba uzobona maduze, ukuphikisana kunempilo, uma nje sikwazi ukuba nobuntu obuhle. Kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi bobabili abalingani banendawo yokuba ngabantu babo futhi bazimele ebudlelwaneni . Ngaphandle kwalokho, kukunika ithuba lokufunda okwengeziwe ngomunye nomunye kanye nokuthola noma yiziphi izinkinga ezingase zibangele inkinga epharadesi lakho.
Izingxabano zikunikeza ithuba lokubhekana nalezi zinkinga nokungezwani ndawonye njengeqembu. Uma umbhangqwana ungaxabene, kusuke kukhomba ukuthi sebewuyekile ubudlelwano babo. Ngakho-ke, ngeke kube ukwelula ukuthi izithandani ezilwayo zihlala ndawonye. Noma kunjalo, akuzona zonke izingxabano nokulwa okwenziwa ngokulingana. Amafulegi athile abomvu abonisa ukuthi izimpikiswano zakho zingase zibe umphumela wezinkinga ezithile ezinzima eziwumsuka.
"Ingabe izingxabano ebuhlotsheni zinempilo? Zingasiza ekuqiniseni isibopho sombhangqwana? Ngingathi yebo. Izingxabano ebuhlotsheni zinencazelo ebanzi uma zisetshenziswa ezimweni ezihlukene. Ngokuphikisana, imibhangqwana ingathola izixazululo ezinkingeni zabo, ukucaciswa, ukuthula kwengqondo, ukuqonda okungcono kwezimo kanye nezinqubo zokucabanga zomunye nomunye. Lokhu, nakho, kwenza ukusingatha kangcono iphuzu lomunye nomunye," kusho uManjari womunye nomunye.
Kodwa-ke, amasu okuphikisana anempilo nawo ayisici esikhulu esinqumayo uma kukhulunywa ngokuhlola ukuthi izingxabano zingasiza yini ebudlelwaneni. Imikhuba efana nokuthulana, ukucekelana phansi , ukubizana ngamagama, ukwenza izinsongo, nokusebenzisa ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo noma ubudlova obungokomzimba akuzona izindlela zokuphikisana ezinempilo.
Izingxabano ezincane ebudlelwaneni akufanele ziphendulwe zibe ukuklabalasa okunobuthi, futhi ukubamba amagqubu noma ukugcina ikhadi lamaphuzu kukhombisa kuphela ukuthi unengxoxo yokuthi “uwine”, kunokuba ufinyelele endaweni yokuzwana. Ezimweni ezinjalo, kungcono ukucabangela ukufuna ukwelashwa kwabashadile ukuze uqonde ukuthi iyiphi inkambo engcono kakhulu yesenzo esizayo.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukuphikisana ngenxa yezinkinga zokuxhumana noma ukuhlukana kwemibono kuvamile futhi kunempilo. "Yebo, ngezinye izikhathi izingxabano zibangela izinkulumo-mpikiswano, ukulwa kanye nesiphithiphithi esiphelele. Ukuthi ukuhlukana kwemibono kungaba okunempilo noma cha ebudlelwaneni kuncike ekutheni bobabili abalingani baxazulule izingxabano ebuhlotsheni. Uma usebenzisa amasu afanele okuxazulula ukungqubuzana, ingxabano ingaba yithuluzi lokukhula. Ibonisa ubudlelwano obunempilo obunamandla, obusekelwe ekunakekeleni, ekukhathazekeni nasekuthandweni," engeza uManja, inhliziyo evulekile.
Kuhle yini ukuxabana ebudlelwaneni? Inqobo nje uma unamaqhinga anempilo okuxazulula ukungqubuzana esikhwameni futhi ungalimazi unomphela ubudlelwano bakho ngokusho izinto ezilimazayo lapho kushisa, kungaba kuhle ebudlelwaneni. Ukuze sibe nombono ongcono emugqeni omuhle ohlukanisa impilo kokungaphilile, ake sihlole ukuthi kungani izingxabano zibalulekile ebuhlotsheni.
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Izizathu Eziyi-12 Izingxabano Ebudlelwaneni Zingaba Zinempilo
Uzithola uzibuza ukuthi kuyinto evamile yini ukulwa nsuku zonke ebudlelwaneni noma ukuthi imibhangqwana ilwa kangaki ebudlelwaneni obunempilo ? Kunethuba elihle lokuthi wena nomlingani wakho nilwa kaningi. Lokhu kuqubuka kungazwakala kungakhululeki lapho kuqhuma futhi ngenkathi ukungezwani kuqhubeka. Kodwa qiniseka, uma nje kungewona umphumela wezinkinga ezithile ezinkulu, izingxabano ebudlelwaneni ziyisibonakaliso esihle.
Ingabe kuyinto evamile ukuba nezingxabano ebudlelwaneni? Yebo. Eqinisweni, ubuhlobo obungenazingxabano abujwayelekile. Kodwa-ke, ukufukamela imizwa enobuthi ucashe ngokuthi “ukuphikisana kunempilo kithi” akumele kube umgomo. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi yini evamile nokuthi yini engekho, ukuze ungavumeli umbono wakho osontekile ugweme wonke amafulegi abomvu akugqolozele. Nazi izizathu ezingu-12 zokuthi kungani ukuxabana ebuhlotsheni kubalulekile ukuze nihlale ndawonye, futhi yini evamile nokungafanelekile:
1. Uyakwazi ukuxoxa ngezinkinga
Ubudlelwano obungenazo izingxabano noma ukulwa kuvame ukuba lapho oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani bekwazi ubuciko bokushanela izinto ngaphansi kukakhaphethi. Nokho, lokho akuyona neze into ehlakaniphile ukuyenza. Awukwazi ukuziba izinkinga zakho futhi uzifisele kude.
Uma kungaxazululwanga, ngisho nokungezwani okuncane kwansuku zonke kungakha inzondo futhi intukuthelo ingene ebudlelwaneni . Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuphikisana ebudlelwaneni kukhomba ikhono lakho lokuxazulula izinkinga njengoba zivela. Lokhu, kunciphisa ingozi yokungezwani okukhulu phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho.
"Futhi, ukubaluleka kwezindlela ezinempilo zokuphikisana angeke kugcizelelwe ngokwanele. Vumela ingxabano ibe yindlela yengxoxo hhayi inkulumo-mpikiswano. Uma ubona uphawu lokuthi ingxoxo iholela engxoxweni, yeka indaba eseduze noma iphuzu olivezayo ngokushesha. Uzoba namathuba anele okuphinda ubheke lokhu futhi ubeke umbono wakho noma wamukele umlingani wakho. Ukuze ubudlelwano bukhulise ubudlelwano," Manjari.
Njengoba uManjari ebonisa, ukubuza imibuzo efana nokuthi, "Kungakanani ukuxabana okuvamile ebudlelwaneni?", kuyize uma zonke izingxabano zakho ziholela ekubizeni okubi okulimaza ubuhlobo nakakhulu. Nakuba ukwazi ukuxoxa ngezinkinga zakho, udinga futhi ukwazi ukuba nalezo zingxoxo ngendlela efanele.
2. Isungula ubudlelwano obulinganayo
Ingabe izingxabano ebudlelwaneni zinempilo? Yebo, izingxabano zinempilo ngoba zikusiza ukuthi usungule ubambiswano lwabalinganayo ngobuqotho beqiniso. Ngokuzwakalisa ukungaboni ngaso linye kwakho ngento eyenziwe umlingani wakho - futhi okuphambene nalokho - uqinisekisa iqiniso lokuthi akekho kini ongagomela ukubusa, ulindele ukuthi omunye kube omnene.
Ikhono lokukhuluma okucabangayo lapho ungavumelani nomlingani wakho ligcizelela iphuzu lokuthi ngeke uthathe izici ezingemnandi kakhulu zobudlelwano bakho ekuhambeni kwakho. Kunalokho, uzobeka unyawo lwakho phansi lapho lubala khona.
Lokhu kusiza ekwakheni inhlonipho ebudlelwaneni, okuyinto ehamba phambili ekuqiniseni isibopho senu. Ingabe izingxabano ziyabuqinisa ubudlelwano? Uma ningakwazi ukwakha indawo efanayo ngokukwenza kucace ukuthi ngeke nicindezelwe, ukusungulwa kwenhlonipho ebudlelwaneni kungaqinisa ngokusobala amandla enu.
3. Ukhuluma ingqondo yakho
Ezikhathini eziningi ukungezwani nokungazwani kubambeka ebudlelwaneni ngenxa yokuthi umuntu ulindele ukuthi omunye aqonde izinto ezithile noma enze ngendlela ethile ngaphandle kokwazisa lokho akulindele. Uma lokhu okulindelekile kungafezeki, ngokwemvelo kuholela ekukhungathekeni.
Kodwa-ke, asivamisile ukuzwakalisa lokhu kuphoxeka nokukhungatheka okwamanje. “Ngangihlala nginenkinga yokuthi uJolene wayenginqamula kanjani njalo lapho ngikhuluma.Ngazama ukuhlehlisa ngicabanga ukuthi yingoba nje ejabule futhi efuna ukukhuluma, kodwa kwafika lapho ngezwa sengathi angikwazi ukuqedela umusho owodwa ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa,” kusho uRichard.
“Ngolunye usuku, lapho sixoxa ngamaholidi esiwathandayo, kwaba sengathi ngimlalele futhi wayengenandaba nalokho engangikuhlangenwe nakho.” Ingxoxo ‘ejabulisayo’ yasheshe yaphenduka ingxabano lapho ngimthethisa ngokuthi akakaze angivumele ngikhulume. Uma ubungangibuza ukuthi kungani izingxabano zibalulekile ebudlelwaneni bami, ngizokutshela ukuthi zingisizile ukuba ngikhulume okusengqondweni yami. Noma kunjalo, ngangingafisi ukukhuluma naye ngokunganaki. isikhathi eside kangangokuthi zavele zaqhuma ngesikhathi esisodwa,” uyenezela.
Izingxabano ziwumthombo onempilo wayo yonke le mizwa engemihle esalayo. Lokhu kukusiza ukuthi ugcine obala ebudlelwaneni. Izingxabano ezincane ebudlelwaneni zingaphetha ngokuvumelana nokuqondana. Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokulinda ukuqhuma, qiniseka ukuthi ukhuluma ingqondo yakho lapho udinga. Ngisho noma kuholela engxabano encane.
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4. Izingxabano ebudlelwaneni ziholela ezixazululweni
Kuthiwa imibhangqwana elwa ihlala ndawonye ngoba izingxabano zinisusa ezinkingeni futhi ziniyise ezixazululweni. Uma izinto zishuba, bobabili abalingani bavame ukuphumela obala ngalokho okwenzekayo ezingqondweni zabo. Lokhu, kukuvumela ukuthi ubone izinkinga zakho kanye nokungezwani kwakho ngokucacile futhi usebenzele ekutholeni ikhambi.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, uma usufinyelele kumsuka wenkinga yakho futhi uyisuse, ungavimbela ukuba nezimpi ezifanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe. Ngokwesibonelo, uma wazi ukuthi isenzo esithile noma ukuthambekela kuyamcasula umlingani wakho, ngokwemvelo uyokwenza umzamo wokukuphinda. Nakuba babethanda ukubhuquza, uMolina wayezonda indlela uRichard akhuluma ngayo naye ngezwi elifanayo lapho ephambi kwabantu. Wacabanga ukuthi kubukeka kabi futhi wathumela umlayezo ongalungile kubantu ababeseduze nabo.
Ekuqaleni, u-Richard wayengaqondi ukuthi kungani kufanele ahlale eyimfihlo, futhi wakhetha ukulwa no-Molina ngokufuna ukushintsha indlela akhuluma ngayo naye esidlangalaleni. Kuye wayemane emosha nje. Kodwa lapho echaza indlela okwakumenza azizwe ngayo, washeshe wabona ukuthi wayengamhloniphi umlingani wakhe.
"Kuhle yini ukuxabana ebudlelwaneni?" kubuza uRichard, “Ukube le mpi ayizange ivuke ngabe ngilokhu ngikhuluma naye phambi kwabantu ngendlela engenze ngayo, ubani owaziyo umonakalo owawungase udalwe phansi.
5. Iqeda amagqubu
Ake sithi umlingani wakho ukumisile phambi kwabangani bakho. Ngisho noma bengase babe nezizathu zabo, izenzo zabo zizokuphatha kabi. Uma ugcina konke ngaphakathi, ungase uqale ukubamba igqubu futhi ucabange ngezindlela zokuziphindiselela kubo. Lokhu kuthambekela kungaholela ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Kodwa ngokuphikisana ngakho, uthola ithuba lokuveza ukudumala nobuhlungu bakho. Akumele uhambe uqhume izibhamu ulindele ukuthi uzofika endaweni yenjabulo uma uvula umnyango umemeza umaqondana wakho. Kunalokho, naphezu kobuhlungu, uma utshela umlingani wakho ukuthi, “Ngiphatheke kabuhlungu ukuthi ungisukumise, kungani wenze lokho?”, ungafinyelela ekujuleni kwezinto ngendlela enokuthula.
Uma uke wehlise umoya, ungase uzwe ngisho nohlangothi lukaphathina wakho ngomqondo ovulekile. Kukunika ithuba lokungcwaba i-hatchet bese uqhubekela phambili, ngaphandle kwamagqubu aqhubekayo asongela isibopho sakho. Ingabe izingxabano ziyabuqinisa ubuhlobo? Uma ususa ukungezwani futhi ususa amagqubu akho, nakanjani uzoqinisa i-equation yakho.
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6. Izingxabano zisiza ekwakheni ukuqonda
Ngokuvamile, empilweni nasebudlelwaneni, izinto azibi mnyama noma mhlophe, zilungile noma azilungile. Kunezindawo eziningi ezingacacile okufanele uzihambe. Uma uphatha izingxabano kahle ebudlelwaneni, kukunika ithuba lokubona isimo ngezindlela ezimbili ezihlukene. Kule nqubo, ungathola ukuqonda okungcono ngesimo somlingani wakho ezintweni ezithile noma izindinganiso nezinkolelo zakhe eziyinhloko zobudlelwano.
Lokhu, ekugcineni, kusiza ukwakha ukuqonda okungcono futhi kukusondeze. Ngisho nezingxabano ezincane ebudlelwaneni zingakunikeza ukuqonda ngokuthandwa nangakuthandi umlingani wakho, kukusize ukuqonde kangcono nangokusondelana kakhulu. Uma uba nozwela ebudlelwaneni benu, bunibophezela njengeqembu.
Kodwa-ke, uma uphikisana nengxoxo ngayinye futhi uzibuza ukuthi, "Kungakanani ukuxabana okuvamile ebudlelwaneni?", kungase kudingeke ubheke ukuthi kungani nixabana njalo. Ingabe awukwazi ukuqonda ukuthi umlingani wakho uvelaphi, futhi yingakho ubutha bulokhu buqhubeka? Zama ukusebenzela ekugxiliseni uzwela futhi nokwanda kungase kunciphe.
7. Ukuxabana ebudlelwaneni kuthuthukisa ezothando
Ukubuyisana ngemva kwengxabano kungaholela ekukhukhuleni kwemizwa nemizwa engacacile, okungavuselela uthando futhi. Asikaze sizwe yini ngocansi olukhulunywa kakhulu ngezimonyo! Izingxabano ezijulile ziveza imizwa enamandla, engaqhubekisela phambili ukuthambekela kwakho kothando ezingeni elilandelayo.
Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukulwa, mhlawumbe nokungakhulumisani, kukunika ithuba lokubona ukuthi nibaluleke kangakanani omunye komunye. Uma uxazulula izinkinga zakho futhi uxhuma kabusha, kukusiza ukuthi ubone ubuze bokujuluka izinto ezincane.
8. Kubonisa ukuthi unendaba
Ubudlelwano obungenazingxabano noma ukulwa bubhekwa njengobukhathazayo ngoba bubonisa ukuthi oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani sebelahlekelwe yithemba lekusasa ndawonye. Kungenzeka ukuthi bamukele nokuthi ubudlelwano babo besikhathi eside buphelile. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma nilwa kanzima ukuze niphikisane noma ninciphise izinto enizibona ziyingozi ebudlelwaneni benu, nisebenzela ukudala isikhala esingcono nesinempilo njengombhangqwana.
Iqiniso lokuthi izinto ezinkulu nezincane ziyakuthinta liphinda lisho ukuthi awunandaba nozakwenu noma ubudlelwano bakho. “Lapho ingxabano inombono obanzi obonisa ukukhathazeka nokunakekela komunye uzakwethu komunye noma ubudlelwano, yenza ubudlelwano babo bube ngcono futhi bube nenhle kakhulu.Yilapho unqoba izingxabano ezincane ebuhlotsheni futhi ulwe nezithakazelo ezinhle zomlingani wakho nobudlelwano.
“Isibonelo, ukuphikisana nokukhetha indlela yokuphila enempilo ngoba ukhathazekile ngenhlalakahle yomlingani wakho akungabazeki ukuthi kunempilo, nokho-ke ukuthi izisusa zakho zimsulwa akusho ukuthi ungakwazi ukuthatha indlela yokungabambeleli ekuxabaneni.
“Ukuqapha kubalulekile ngisho nalapho ninengxabano. Ngokwesibonelo, lezi zingxabano noma izingxoxo kufanele zihilele wena nomlingani wakho kuphela. Ukuhilela abazali, izingane zakini noma abangani kungase kungabi indlela engcono kakhulu. Iseluleko sabanye singase singabi isivakashi esamukelekile,” kweluleka uManjari.
9. Uba isilaleli esingcono
Uma nje usebenzisa amasu okuphikisana anempilo futhi ulwa ngenhlonipho ukuze uxazulule izinkinga zakho, ukulwa nokungavumelani kungakwenza ube umlaleli ongcono. Ukukhuluma ukuze ufakazele iphuzu noma unikeze impikiswano ephikisayo kuwumkhuba ongemuhle okhulisa ukungezwani phakathi kwabalingani bothando. Ngenxa yalokho, ukungaqondani kuyakhula.
Ngokuphambene, uma ufunda ukulalelisisa futhi uzama ukuqonda umbono womunye umuntu, izingxabano ebuhlotsheni zingaba indlela eyakhayo yokuthuthukisa ukuxhumana okunenjongo nomuntu omthandayo.
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10. Izingxabano zikwenza uzizwe ulula
Ukulwa nophathina wakho kungaba yinto embi kakhulu ngenkathi kuqhubeka. Yini ngentukuthelo evuthayo, ukuklabalasa nezinyembezi. Hhawu! Kodwa wake wazizwa sengathi umthwalo usususiwe esifubeni sakho uma usuqedile ukulwa nokuxabana? Lokho kungenxa yokuthi ukukhipha umoya kubalulekile ukuze ubalekele ukukhungatheka kwakho futhi ube nokuthula.
Ukungazibambi izinto ngaphakathi kuwumkhuba omuhle okufanele uwulandele kuzo zonke izinto empilweni. Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu uma uzama ukwakha isisekelo esiqinile sobudlelwano. Ngakho-ke, uma ubulokhu ukhathazekile ngokuxabana ekuqaleni kobudlelwano noma ukulwa njalo, ungazishayi. Uma nje kungekho zinkinga ezinobuthi ezidlalayo, ukulwa nokuphikisana kuzosiza kuphela ukugcina ubuhlobo bakho bungenazo ingcindezi.
11. Ivimbela ukunganaki
Njengoba isikhathi sihamba, imibhangqwana ithola isigqi sokuphila kwayo ndawonye. Nakuba ingase ijwayeleke futhi iduduze, ingaba yi-monotonous kakhulu. Ukulandela isimiso esifanayo, ukwenza izinto ezifanayo ngokuphindaphindiwe qiniseka ukuthi kufiphaza inhlansi nenjabulo ebuhlotsheni bakho. Ngokushesha, ningase niqale ukuthathana kalula.
Leyo iresiphi elungele inhlekelele. Izingxabano nokulwa kufana nokuvusa amehlo okukukhipha kulobu buthongo futhi kukwenze ubone ukuthi yini esengozini, ngezikhathi ezithile. Lokhu kuqonda kukuvimbela ukuthi ungabi nandaba kangako nokuthi ungabeka phambili umlingani wakho.
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12. Nikhula njengezithandani
Cabanga ngezikhathi lapho uzithola uxabana nisaqala ubudlelwano. Zonke izingxoxo ezishisayo, ukulwa ngakunye, zonke izingxabano zikusize ukuthi uthole okwengeziwe mayelana nomlingani wakho. Lokhu okutholakele, nakho, kukusiza ukuthi ulungise imigomo yakho yobudlelwano futhi unqume ukuthi yini elungele nina njengombhangqwana.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, niyazamukela kakhudlwana iziphambeko zomunye nomunye futhi niyazisa amandla enu. Ukulwa kukusiza ukuthi ubone ukuthi awukwazi “ukulungisa” umlingani kodwa kumsize abe uhlobo olungcono lwabo. Lolu hlobo lokuvuthwa oluhambisana nokubekezela nokuthethelela ebudlelwaneni yikona okukusiza ukuthi ukhule njengombhangqwana.
Ingabe kuyinto evamile ukuba nezingxabano ebudlelwaneni? Njengoba ungase usho manje, kunjalo, futhi ingaba nempilo futhi. Njengoba ungase ubadelele, ukungaboni ngaso linye kuyokwenzeka ebudlelwaneni. Okwenzayo ngabo kunquma umthelela lokhu kungaboni ngaso linye okungaba nawo ekusaseni lakho. Ukufunda ukuxazulula izinkinga zakho usebenzisa izindlela ezinempilo zokuphikisana yikho okusiza ukugcina ubudlelwano buqinile futhi bunenjabulo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Kuningi osekushiwo mayelana namasu okuphikisana anempilo ekuqinisekiseni ukungqubuzana nokwehluka akuthinti ubudlelwano bakho. Kodwa yiziphi lezi zindlela zokuxazulula izingxabano zezempilo? I-Manjari inikeza ukuqonda okulula kodwa okujulile, "Uma inkulumo encane ifinyelela ekuxabaneni nomlingani wakho bese uzithola usendaweni enzima, ubuza imibuzo efana nokuthi "Kungani mina?" "Kungani kuhlale njalo kuyimi?" "Kungani ungakwenzi?", phumula isikhathi esithile bese uphendula le mibuzo - "Kungani kungenjalo mina?" "Kungani njalo?" "Kungani kungenjalo?"
"Kungenzeka ukuthi uzothola impendulo ehluke ngokuphelele, futhi noma iyiphi impikiswano okungenzeka ukuthi ibilokhu ikukhathaza ingabonakala ingabalulekile. Ngamafuphi, izingxabano ebudlelwaneni ziphilile kuphela uma zingaveli ezidingweni zomuntu oyedwa kodwa ezinhle kakhulu zobudlelwano." Uma ubudlelwano bakho okwamanje buhlushwa izingxabano ezingenempilo noma awuphikisani nhlobo, cabanga ngokwelashwa kwemibhangqwana. Iphaneli ye-Bonobology yabelaphi abanolwazi ingakusiza ukudweba indlela eya ebudlelwaneni obuvumelanayo.
Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa
Ukuxabana ebudlelwaneni kubalulekile ngoba akuvumeli izinkinga zinqwabelane bese ziphenduka ukungezwani okungalungiseki ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Awukho umthetho wesithupha wokuthi imibhangqwana kufanele ilwe kangaki futhi kunini lapho iba yingozi. Okubalulekile wukuqophisana ngokuvuthiwe nanempilo ukuze nixazulule ukungaboni ngaso linye kwenu hhayi ukuqophisana phezulu.
Ukulalelisisa nokuzama ukubona izinto ngombono womunye umuntu kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokusingatha izingxabano ebuhlotsheni. Ngoba uma ungalaleli ukuze uqonde kodwa uphikise futhi ufakazele iphuzu lakho, izingxabano zingaphenduka zibe zimbi.
Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi umbhangqwana ovamile uxabana izikhathi ezingu-7 ngosuku. Nokho, bonke ubuhlobo nombhangqwana uhlukile. Okusebenzela abantu abaningi kungenzeka noma kungenzeki kuwe. Kulungile ukuqophisana nokuxoxisana noma nini uma kukhona okukukhathazayo kunokuba uvale imizwa yakho.
Njengoba besho, ungalokothi ulale uthukuthele. Hlala uqonde. Kungcono ukuxazulula izingxabano ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka futhi ungaphendukeli emikhubeni efana nokungakhulumi nokukhuluma ngamatshe ukuze nje uphindisele kumlingani wakho.
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Izinkinga Zomshado Wonyaka Wokuqala: Izinto Ezi-5 Izithandani Ezisanda Kushada Ezilwa Ngazo
Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
