Uyalwa, wena makeup, uyalwa futhi- kholwa noma ungakholwa, yilokhu wonke umshado ubukeka. Akukhona mayelana nokungalwi ngemva kokushada; kumayelana nokulwa kangcono. Enye yezinkinga ezinkulu zomshado onyakeni wokuqala yilapho abasanda kushada behlanganyela uphahla nomlingani onobuntu obuhlukile nendlela yokuphila futhi kufanele baqhubeke nokwenza imizamo yokuza ekhasini elifanayo.
Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi kulabo abangakaze bahlale ndawonye ngaphambi kokushada. Ungaba njalo abasanda kushada futhi uphatheke kabi uma uthola umyeni wakho ehlala endlini yokugezela amahora amabili ekuseni noma ubona ukuthi umkakho uyahona. Abaningi abasanda kushada balwa ngaso sonke isikhathi ngenxa yejubane le-fan, izinga lokushisa le-air-conditioner, ukuphazanyiswa abasekhweni noma isikhathi esichithwa nabangane.
Ingabe Kujwayelekile Ukulwa Kakhulu Onyakeni Wokuqala Womshado?
Okuqukethwe
Isisho sithi i-honeymoon ayiphelele ngaphandle kokulwa futhi njenge isikhathi se-honeymoon sithola phezu kwezimpi ziyaqina ngoba umbhangqwana osanda kushada wehla othandweni olujabulisayo uya eqinisweni lomshado. Enye yezinkinga ezinkulu zomshado onyakeni wokuqala izimpi ezingapheli ezingaholela ezinkingeni zokulungisa. Kodwa izingxabano ziba zincane njengoba imibhangqwana iqondana kangcono futhi iqala ukungazinaki izinto ezincane ebudlelwaneni.
Umeluleki wemishado ozinze eNew York, u-Rachel Sussman, uthi esihlokweni ukuthi into efana nemisebenzi yansuku zonke noma ukuziphatha social media kungaholela ezimpini. "Ukukhulumisana kuyisihluthulelo. Ngokuvamile imibhangqwana ivikela kakhulu noma izame ukulandela indlela ye-tit-for-tat ukuze inqobe impi. Okusho ukuthi kungakhathaliseki ukuthi niphikisana ngani kungase kudlulele ekubeni impi enkulu."
Kodwa kuba nezimpi unyaka wokuqala womshado kuyinto evamile kakhulu futhi wonke uchwepheshe wezobudlelwano uthi unyaka wokuqala womshado unzima kakhulu ngoba ulungisa njalo ukuba umbhangqwana, ekuphatheni izimali, ekubeni nemindeni emibili kanye nokumisa okusha. amagoli ambalwa.
Izinto Ezi-5 Izithandani Ezisanda Kushada Ezilwa Ngazo
Ngakho ukutholile manje. Izinkinga zomshado zonyaka wokuqala azinakugwenywa futhi lezi zingaholela ulwa kokubili abakhulu nabancane. Ngenkathi ungase ube ne ingxabano yokuqala emshadweni wenu ngesikhathi nipakisha i-honeymoon uqobo, ukulwa esontweni lokuqala nishadile kungashuba kwazise nisajwayela ukuba izithandani eziboshelwe ndawonye ngokusemthethweni impilo yazo yonke (ngakho-ke izimpi zisebenza nakubashadikazi abake bahlala kubo).
Uma niqala ukulwa emshadweni wenu kunezinto eziwu-5 ongeke ukwazi ukuzigwema nozolwa ngazo. Yiziphi lezo zinkinga? Siyakutshela.
1. Izinkinga zemali
Awusazenzele konke. Ngemva komshado, wakha ikhaya nomunye umuntu. Kudingeka ukuhlela okuningi, ukubala izibopho zezimali, lapho unesabelomali ngokweqile noma lapho usebenzisa imali engaphansi (okungenzeki).
Abasanda kushada abakwazi njalo ukukhetha ukwaziswa mayelana ukwabelana ngezindleko . Balwela ukusebenzisa imali ngokweqile, izindleko ezingafuneki kanye nokunakekela izikweletu. Kunezikweletu eziningi okufanele zinakekelwe futhi izingxoxo zezimali azizona izingxoxo ezihehayo futhi zingase zidale ukungezwani phakathi kwabasanda kushada kaningi kunalokho.
Kodwa njengoba isikhathi sihamba imibhangqwana esanda kushada iyakubona ukubaluleka ukuhlela kwezezimali bese izingxabano ziqala ukuncipha ezindabeni zemali.
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2. Idrama yomndeni eyandisiwe
Akukhona ukuthi wonke umbhangqwana oshadile uzobe uhlala ndawonye nomndeni owandisiwe. Kodwa ngokocwaningo, ukuhlala noyisezala yikona okuwumqansa. I bahu entsha futhi saas akathandi ukuthi indodana yakhe ibe sematheni bahu manje.
Iqiniso liwukuthi wonke umuntu udinga isikhathi sokuzinza futhi maningi amathuba okuthi akekho ofuna ukuyekethisa ngakubo. Izimbobo ezingapheli zithathelwa umalokazana omusha, noma ngenye indlela, ngokuvamile zidala ukulwa okungapheli phakathi kwabasanda kushada. Ngakho a umndeni ohlangene kungaholela ezimpini ezinkulu onyakeni wokuqala womshado.
3. Umsebenzi wasendlini ungenye yezinkinga ezinkulu zomshado onyakeni wokuqala
Uma ushiya ithawula elimanzi phezu kombhede, kungenzeka ukuthi iqale ukulwa. “Kungani ungakwazi ukulengisa ukuze wome?
Okufanayo kuhamba nokupheka, ukuwasha, ukuhlanza nokucisha izibani uma uphuma ekamelweni. Uma ungakasayini i-prenup ukuze uhlukanise i- imisebenzi yasendlini ngokulinganayo, izimpi ezijwayelekile zizokwenzeka ngomsebenzi wasekhaya.
Abantu bangaba abasanda kushada futhi bahlupheke ngenxa nje yokuhlukana okungalingani kwemisebenzi yasekhaya. Ngenkathi intokazi icabanga ukuthi yenza kakhulu indoda ingezwa ukuthi eyakhe unkosikazi uyabelesela kuye kakhulu. Kuthatha isikhathi ukulungisa nokuhlukanisa imisebenzi yasekhaya. Kuze kube yileso sikhathi ukuklabalasa nokuklabalasa kwakuzokwenzeka.
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4. Ukusondelana ngokomzimba kushintsha ukuqina
Akushiwo njalo ngocansi. Nakuba ubulili ngemva komshado buba njalo, ukusondelana kuyancipha. Abasanda kushada bachitha isikhathi sabo esiningi bendawonye kodwa ukuchitha isikhathi esimnandi ngempela (nocansi noma ngaphandle kwalo) kuyinto ekhuluma kakhulu.
Izinkinga zomshado onyakeni wokuqala ziqala lapho phakathi nalolo nyaka ukusondelana kuncipha, kungekho ukugonene, akukho ukukhuluma komcamelo okungase kubangele ukungezwani phakathi kwendoda nomfazi.
Lokhu kungezwani kahle kungaholela ezimpini, kuvame ukuletha izindaba ebezingakaze zibe yinkinga ngempela. Kodwa abangakwazi ukukutshelana ukuthi baphuthelwa umfutho owawukhona ngaphambi komshado. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuxhumana nokwenza umzamo owengeziwe wokugcina inhlansi iphila.
5. Ukungakwazi ukuyekethisa
Abasanda kushada bahlezi belwa ngoba isikhathi esiningi abakwazi ukuyekethisa noma bamukele ukungapheleli kwabalingani babo.
“Kungani uvilapha kangaka?”, “Kungani izinwele zakho zigcwele indlu?”, “Kungani ungcolile?”, “Kungani singakwazi ukuba ne-pizza ubusuku obuthathu bulandelana?” - izinto ezinjengalezi zizokhula. Abasanda kushada bakuthola kunzima ukwamukela ukuziphatha komunye nomunye. Ngakho-ke izimpi zivame ukuhlaselana mayelana nesimo sabo sengqondo ngokudla, imisebenzi yasekhaya, ezezimali, izinto ezingezinhle.
Izimpi ngokuvamile zimayelana nokubeka engcupheni lokho okuthandayo engxenyeni yakho engcono futhi lokho kungase kungabi lula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukwamukela ukuthi nihlala ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo nokuthi ukuyekethisa kancane kungakuvimbela ukuthi ulale kusofa, uhamba ibanga elide.
Kungakanani ukulwa emshadweni okuvamile?
Lona umbuzo obaluleke kakhulu okufanele uwubuze lapho ama-tiffs eqala unyaka wokuqala womshado. Ngabe lezi zimpi zifana nalezi onazo nomzala wakho ohlanyayo ofika ungamenyezelwanga kodwa agcine ehambile? Noma ingabe lezi zimpi ziphenduka zibe zimbi futhi usebenzise amazwi abuhlungu bese kuba izinsuku ukwelashwa buthule lokho kuba yingozi ngempela ebuhlotsheni bakho?
Uma unomuzwa wokuthi awukwazi ukubhekana nezingxabano futhi ubudlelwano bakho buyehla, khuluma no-a umeluleki umqondo omuhle. Kodwa uma ukulwa kuwuhlobo okwenzeka kuyo yonke imishado onyakeni wokuqala akufanele ishanelwe ngaphansi kwengubo. Kufanele ulungise izindaba ukuze zingakheki ngokuhamba kwesikhathi futhi zilimaze ubudlelwano benu.
Umnikelo wakho awuhlanganisi inhlangano esiza abantulayo umnikelo. Izovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolwakamuva emzamweni wethu wokusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
Ngicabange izikhathi eziningi kakhulu zokungena emhlabeni wokubhuloga njengoba ngithanda ukuzifunda. Ngicabanga ukuthi ekugcineni nginaso isibindi sokuzama. Siyabonga kakhulu ngayo yonke imibono!
Ngivumelana nawe ukuthi kunjalo ngempela. Awukwazi ukugcizelelwa kakhulu noma yikuphi okungcono