18 Izimpawu Ezicashile Ubudlelwano Bakho Besikhathi Eside Buphelile

Spread uthando

Ebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside, abantu bavame ukukhululeka omunye nomunye. Nibhekana nezinto ezicasulayo zomunye nomunye, futhi ningase nifunde nokungayinaki imikhuba yabo enobuthi obungeke niyifise. Nokho, kungenxa yaleyo nduduzo okwenza kube nzima ukubona izimpawu zokuthi ubuhlobo buphelile.

Lapho inhlansi ifa, ubeka icala ngobude bobudlelwano. Lapho izingxoxo ziphela, cishe ucabanga ukuthi kuwumphumela wokwazi konke ngomlingani wakho. Ngisho nalapho umuzwa wokunganaki usuthatha izintambo, ukwamukela ukuthi ubuhlobo benu buyaphela akulula.

Lapho izimpawu zobuhlobo bakho seziphelile zigqolozele emuva ngqo kuwe, uzophoqeleka ukuthi uzibuke zifile emehlweni. Ngaphambi kokwenza lokho, udinga ukwazi ukuthi yini evamile nokuthi yini engekho. Ngosizo lwezimpawu esizibalayo, uzokwazi ukuphendula umbuzo othi: “Ungasho kanjani ukuthi ubuhlobo besikhathi eside buphelile?”

18 Izimpawu Ezicashile Ubuhlobo Buphelile

Okuqukethwe

Uphawu lokuqala ubuhlobo bakho buphelile kungaba lawa magama: Asisengabantu abafanayo. Noma kungewena, yimina. Asifuni ukunaka izimpawu zokukhuluma kodwa zihlala zikhona.

Ubudlelwano bungaba nzima. Okujwayelekile kumbhangqwana oyedwa cishe akuyona into evamile kuwe (uMathew noJasmine babelana ngesixubho sabo, awukwazi ngisho nokukuqonda ukwabelana ngendlu yokugezela). Okuba yinkinga komunye akuyona inkinga komunye, futhi lapho omunye ethi "angalwa nakho", omunye ubona ngokucacile ubuthi.

Ezimweni eziningi, izimpawu zokuthi ubudlelwano buphelile zilapho ukuze uzibone. Kungaba lula njengokuthi uyeke ukwabelana ngezinto. Kodwa lapho induduzo iba khona, ulahla intukuthelo yakhe ngokuzitshela ukuthi, “Yilokho kanye ayikho.” Noma, ungase ulahle izinkinga zokuthembana kwakhe ngokucabanga ukuthi kufanele “ubhekane nakho”. Lawa amanye amaqiniso aqotho kakhulu ngobudlelwano besikhathi eside.

Uma konke kunqwabelana, ukutubeka kobudlelwane okuzwayo kungabangela umonakalo omkhulu empilweni yakho yengqondo (noma ngokomzimba). Ngakho-ke, ungazizwa lapho ubuhlobo buphelile? Ngosizo lwezimpawu ezilandelayo, uzophoqeleka kakhulu. Ake sibheke ukuthi ziyini:

1. Uma ukukhulumisana kuzwakala kuwumsebenzi onzima, kuwuphawu ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho besikhathi eside buphelile

Uma uzibuza, "Ingabe ubudlelwano bami besikhathi eside buphelile?", Lesi esinye sezibonakaliso zokuqala. Cishe awusahlali ubusuku bonke, ukhuluma ngokuthi kungani uMalume wakhe uJerry engakaze akhumule i-ovaroli noma kungani izinkinga zomndeni engakaze ziphele. Ngemva kweminyaka embalwa, ukudonsa bonke abantu ebusuku ukuze nje bakhulume akulindelekile noma kunjalo.

Kodwa-ke, lapho ukhuluma nomlingani wakho uqala ukuzizwa njengomsebenzi onzima, lapho ungeke ukhathazeke ngokuxabana ngoba kubonakala kungenamsebenzi, cishe udinga ukwamukela ukuthi ubuhlobo benu buyaphela.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinkinga Ezivamile Zobudlelwano Ezingu-25

2. Kuntula ukusondelana ngokomzwelo

ubonakala ungakwazi ukwabelana ngemizwa yakho

“Ngiyabona ukuthi akasathandi ukuba nezingxoxo ezixoxa nami,” kusho uLeah, ekhuluma ngokuthi ubudlelwano bakhe beminyaka engu-9 bubonakala buyaphela kanjani. Uyanezela, “Ngiqaphele izimpawu zokuthi ubudlelwano buphelile kuye lapho engatholi lutho angaxoxa nami “ngosuku” lwethu lokuqala ngemva kweminyaka emi-3.

“Akhuluma ngakho nje ukuthi yini eyayidinga ukulungiswa endlini, lokho akwenza otshanini, nendlela igumbi elingaphansi elidinga ukulungiswa ngayo.” Kuleli qophelo, angisakhumbuli ngigcina nini ukuba nengxoxo ejulile naye.”

Esinye sezibonakaliso ezinkulu zokuthi ubuhlobo buphelile yilapho ningakwazi ukwabelana ngemizwa nezifiso zenu, bese ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuyaphela ngenxa yalokho.

3. Uzizwa ushile

Ukutubeka kubangelwa ukucindezeleka isikhathi eside okulimaza isimo sengqondo somuntu. Kufaka umuzwa wokukhathala ngokomzwelo, lapho uzizwa uvaleleke ngokungenathemba, ungenamdlandla ngekusasa, futhi ungase ugule kumlingani wakho ngisho noma enganamathele noma eswele.

Kungesinye salezo zimo ocabanga ukuthi zizolungiswa emasontweni ambalwa kude nomlingani wakho, kodwa umuzwa wokuzizwa “uvaleleke” noma uhlezi ukhathele ngenxa kaphathina wakho uzobuyela emuva. Uzizwa uphelelwa ubudlelwano. Futhi lesi esinye sezimpawu eziyisixwayiso zokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buphelile.

4. Nihlale nilwa

Uma niphenduke umbhangqwana oxabana phakathi kwesitolo njalo uma nobabili niphuma futhi ningabonakali nivumelana, akuyona into ongayikhohlwa. Yonke ingxoxo iphenduka impi, yonke imibono ehlukene iyaphula ubuhlobo , futhi yonke imizamo yokuhlekisana iyisihlaselo.

Uma ngemva kwamahora ambalwa ningaxabene, ukhathazekile ngokuxoxa nophathina wakho funa ubhebhethekise impi, lokho kuwuphawu olukhulu kakhulu lokuthi ubudlelwano buphelile.

5. Uphathina wakho akuyena umuntu wokuqala omshayela ucingo esimweni esiphuthumayo noma emgubhweni

Uma kuqala ukuzwa sengathi impumelelo yakho yomuntu siqu ayibalulekile ebudlelwaneni bakho, kusho ukuntula ukusondelana ngokomzwelo. Uma kwenzeka okuthile okuyishwa futhi uphathina wakho engeyena umuntu ongakwazi ukumshayela ucingo uma kunesimo esiphuthumayo, lokho kubonisa ukuthi ucabanga ukuthi awukwazi ukuthembela kuye.

Kulungile ukwabelana ngezindaba nomunye umngani kuqala uma lowo mngani etshale imali eningi noma azi kabanzi ngalesi simo. Kodwa-ke, lapho zonke izindaba ezinhle zibonakala sengathi azikufanele ukwabelana, ngokuyisisekelo uphendule umbuzo: "Ungabona kanjani ukuthi ubuhlobo besikhathi eside buphelile?"

6. Ucabanga ngomunye umuntu

Ukuthandana nomuntu ngesikhathi usebudlelwaneni kuyinto evamile. Ungase uzizwe unecala ngakho kodwa uma nje kungayithathi impilo yakho noma kungawuthinti kabi ubudlelwano bakho obuyinhloko, akuyona inkinga.

Nokho, lapho utshani bubukeka buluhlaza ngokwanele ukuba ufune ukweqa uthango, kuyinkinga. Uma ungakwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga ngokuchotshozwa okusha noma othile onentshisekelo kuye, kungase kudingeke ukuthi uphinde uhlole imizwa yakho. Ukuhlala ufuna ukukhuluma nomunye umuntu ngomlingani wakho kaningi kukhombisa ukuthi inhliziyo yakho ayisekho ebudlelwaneni.

7. Izinkinga zokwethenjwa zinqanyuliwe

Izinkinga zokwethembana zingaphazamisa noma yibuphi ubuhlobo

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buhlale buhlushwa ukungazethembi nezinkinga zokuthembana, noma uma bubangelwe yisiqephu sokungathembeki noma ukukhashelwa, izinkinga zokuthembana zingadala umonakalo omkhulu. Ukubuza imibuzo njalo nokungazethembi kungalimaza isisekelo sesibopho senu. Izikhathi ezinzima ezingabonakali ziphela zingaba esinye sezibonakaliso eziyisixwayiso.

Ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi ubuhlobo buseduze nokuphela? Yebo, ungakwenza, ikakhulukazi uma kubonakala sengathi umlingani wakho uhlale ekufihlela okuthile, kuyanqwabelana futhi ekugcineni kuholele ekungamethembini okukhulu. Ezimweni ezinjalo, uyoba nomuzwa okhulayo wenzondo, hhayi uthando.

8. Awazi ukuthi inkinga ikuphi

Nobabili niyazi ukuthi niyalwa nsuku zonke. Nobabili niyabona ukuthi nihlukana kanjani. Kodwa uma kukhulunywa ngokuxilongwa, niyazisola. Nizizwa nididekile. Uma umuntu oyedwa ecabanga ukuthi inkinga enkulu ukuntuleka kokuxhumana kanti omunye ekholelwa ukuthi umona owonakalisa ubuhlobo, ngeke nikwazi ukusebenzelana ndawonye.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-9 Zokunganaki Ebudlelwaneni

9. Ungene ngoba ungafuni ukuba single

Noma nganoma yisiphi esinye isizathu sangaphandle. “Asikwazi ukwenza lokho ezinganeni” noma “Kunokusimama okukhulu kwezezimali” yizinto ongazitshela zona. Uma izici zangaphandle ezinjengalezi ziba yizizathu eziyinhloko zokukhetha ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni , kungenye yezimpawu ezinkulu zokuthi ubuhlobo sebuphelile.

Yiqiniso, akekho ofuna ukuphazamiseka okukhulu ekuphileni kwabo okunethezekile. Kodwa uma wazi ukuthi uzojabula yini ngaphandle komlingani wakho kunawe, udinga ukuphinda ucabange ukuthi zibaluleke kangakanani lezo zici zangaphandle.

Ukuze uthole imininingwane eyengeziwe esekelwe uchwepheshe, sicela ubhalisele yethu YouTube Isiteshi

10. Umlingani wakho uzizwa njengomuntu ohlala naye

Njengoba nje ubungaziphatha nomuntu ohlala naye, usuvele uhloniphekile kumlingani wakho. Anisondelene ngokomzwelo komunye nomunye, anihlanganyeli ngemizwa yenu yangempela, futhi anibhekani. Ingabe ubuhlobo bami besikhathi eside buphelile uma umlingani wami ebonakala njengomngane? Yebo, kunjalo ngempela!

Uma ufuna izimpawu ukuthi ubudlelwano buphelile kuye, yilapho ethanda ukwabelana ngemizwa yakhe nanoma ubani ngaphandle kwakho. Ngokuqondene naye, kuyafana: lapho ekhetha ukuvala yonke imizwa yakhe kunokuba abe sengozini nawe.

11. Uzilahlekele

Emzamweni wokuzibumba ukuze ube yilo muntu umlingani wakho ayefuna ube yikho, kungenzeka ukuthi usulahlekelwe umuzwa wokuzithanda. Kungase kuqale ukuzizwa sengathi umlingani wakho ulindele ukuthi ube umuntu ohlukile kunalokho oyikho ngempela, okungase kuqale ukukhathala ngokushesha.

Njengesinye sezibonakaliso ezinkulu zokuthi ubudlelwano sebuphelile, buzobonakala ngokunganeliseki ngomuntu osube nguye futhi kungaholela esimweni sokukhathala kobudlelwano.

12. Uthola izizathu zokungahlali ndawonye

Ngemuva kosuku olunzima emsebenzini, ukuza ekhaya kumlingani oxabanayo yinto yokugcina ongayifuna. Ngaphambi kokuthi wazi, uthatha lonke uhambo lwakho lwesitolo segrosa uwedwa, uchitha zonke izimpelaviki zakho nabangani bakho, futhi uhlale umeme umndeni ukuze ungezi ukuze ungabi wedwa nozakwenu.

Lapho umcabango wokuthi kufanele uchithe isikhathi nomlingani wakho ubonakala uphelelwa amandla, kungenye yezimpawu ukuthi ubudlelwano buphelile kuye.

13. Awusafuni ukukhula nomuntu wakho

Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano obusha obuqhakazayo , uphupha ngekusasa nomlingani wakho, ninendlu yenu yasemadolobheni kanye nekhono lokunqoba izithiyo enibhekana nazo ndawonye.

Kodwa-ke, lapho umuzwa wokwesaba uthatha indawo, "ukukhula" noma "ukushintsha" nomlingani wakho akubonakali kungathandeki. Kungcono ukhule ubheke ngakuwena njengoba usuvele wazi ukuthi awusatshaliwe kulokhu kuxhumana.

14. Intukuthelo ingenye yezimpawu ezinkulu ukuthi ubuhlobo buphelile

Uma kungekho ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kanye nokuxhumana, kuba nomuzwa wokucasuka okuqhubekayo. Intukuthelo emshadweni inganqwabelana ngenxa yezidingo noma izifiso zakho ezingahlangatshezwani, ukungavumelani, noma ukwamukelana kalula.

Uma inzondo inyakaza emoyeni, kuzoba sengathi nobabili nihlale nimaphethelweni. Ngeke kube ihaba ukusho ukuthi cishe nizojabulela ukulimazana, njengoba usuzikholise ngokuthi “uyaziphindiselela”.

15. Imigomo yakho ayikwazanga ukuhluka kakhulu

Okuke kwaqala ngomgomo ofanayo kungashintsha ama-trajectories lapho nobabili nizulazula empilweni ndawonye. Kujwayelekile ngoba abantu bayashintsha. Uma omunye wenu eshintsha umqondo wakhe mayelana nokuba nezingane noma uma uzithola udliwa umsebenzi, umehluko wemibono ungaholela ebuhlotsheni buntengantenga.

Okubuhlungu kakhulu ukuthi kuzo zonke izimpawu zokuthi ubudlelwano sebuphelile (noma bufika lapho), lokhu kungasho ubuthakathaka besibopho esinempilo. Ephepheni, uthando, ukwethembana, kanye nenhlonipho kungaba kuningi, kodwa umehluko emigomweni yesikhathi esizayo kanye nemibono kuzokwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuba ndawonye.

Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinkinga Zobudlelwano Eziyi-18 Okufanele Uzazi

16. Anihleki ndawonye

Ubudlelwano bungaphezu kozwelo nokweseka. Ngaphandle uma ujabule nophathina wakho njengoba wawujwayele ukwenza, ngeke ufune ukuhlanganyela ezingxoxweni eziningi naye. Esinye sezibonakaliso ezinkulu ukuthi ubudlelwano sebuphelile yilapho ungakhumbuli ukuthi ugcine nini ukwabelana ngokuhleka kwangempela nophathina wakho noma wenza inkumbulo eletha ukumamatheka ebusweni bakho.

17. Uxolisa njalo

Ngezinto ezingelona iphutha lakho, ngendlela oyiyo, noma ngezinto zangaphandle ezihamba kabi, “Njalo uma ngikhuluma ngendlela enobungane nomngane wesilisa, wayevele athukuthele. Bengazi ukuthi unezinkinga zokungazethembi kusukela ekuqaleni, kodwa angikaze ngilindele ukuthi angithethise ngale ndlela,” kusho uJessica.

Lapho ehlala edelelwa ngendlela ayekhuluma ngayo, agqoke ngayo, noma aziphathe ngayo nabantu, uJessica wayazi ukuthi lobu buhlobo bube buyingozi empilweni yakhe yengqondo. Kwakungezinye zezimpawu ezicacile ukuthi ubudlelwano buphelile kuye, futhi wayesevele evaliwe ngokwengqondo.

18. Anisahloniphani

Mhlawumbe izindinganiso zakho zishintshile, noma usubonile ukuthi umlingani wakho akaphani ngendlela obucabanga ngayo. Lapho ukuntula inhlonipho kubambisene ebudlelwaneni, akusoze kwazwakala njengenyunyana yabantu ababili abalinganayo.

Kuyoba khona imibango yezikhundla, ukulingana okungalingani, futhi amagama ambalwa (noma ambalwa) anokhahlo aphonswe nxazonke.

Izikhombi Ezibalulekile

Ubudlelwano besikhathi eside bungaphela ngenxa yezinkinga eziningi
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukusondelana kuyaphela, okungase kuqede ubuhlobo
Ukungakwazi ukuxhumana nokuqondana kungaba uphawu ukuthi ubudlelwano benu sebuzophela
Ukulahlekelwa inhlonipho nokuthembana kuwuphawu

Manje njengoba usuwazi ukuthi izimpawu zokuthi ubudlelwano buphelile azibukeki njengalokhu obucabanga ukuthi bakwenzile, kungenzeka ukuthi unesinqumo esikhulu okufanele usenze. Uma kuzwakala sengathi lolu lwazi lungaphezu kwamandla akho futhi luphazamisa impilo yakho yengqondo, mhlawumbe uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo angasiza.

Uma kuwusizo olufunayo, iphaneli labelaphi abanolwazi beBonobology lingakusiza. Noma ngabe yisiphi isinqumo osithathayo, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukwamukela ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buyaphela akusho ukuthi impilo yakho iyafana. Ungaphezu komlingani womunye umuntu obalulekile, futhi kufanele uzibeke wena kuqala. Inhlanhla!

Lesi sihloko sabuyekezwa ngoNovemba 2022

Imibuzo Evame Ukubuzwa

1. Yiziphi izimpawu zobudlelwano obuphukile?

Ukucasuka, ukungathembeki, umona, nokungakhulumisani ngezinye zezimpawu zokonakala kobuhlobo. Uma wena nomlingani wakho seniqalile ukuba nobuthi komunye nomunye, kufanele nazi ukuthi lobu budlelwano obunemifantu kubo.

2. Ngazi kanjani ukuthi asidalelwe ukuba yikho?

Lapho abantu ababili bendawonye, banezinga elithile lokuhloniphana, ukwethembana, nokuvumelana ngezinhlelo zesikhathi esizayo. Uma wena nomlingani wakho ningenakho lokho, cishe anihloselwe omunye nomunye.

3. Yiziphi izimpawu zokuthi awusathandani?

Uma uyeka ukuzizwa usondelene nabo, lapho ungathandi ukuchitha isikhathi nabo, noma umane ungabuthandi ubuntu babo nokuba khona kwabo, sekuyisikhathi sokuqaphela ukuthi anisathandani.

Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Eziyisixwayiso Zobudlelwane Obuhlulekayo

Ingabe Umyeni Wakho Uke Wahlola Ngokomzwelo? Izimpawu Eziyi-12 Zokuhluleka Komshado

Isoka Lami Alingithembi - Ngenzenjani?

Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.