Ukusolwa ngokukopela lapho umsulwa kungadala ukucindezeleka okujulile futhi kuqede ukwethembana. Ukumangalela okungamanga kuvame ukuvela ngenxa yokungazethembi, ukuqagela, noma ukukhaphela okwedlule, futhi indlela enempilo yokuphendula iwukukhulumisana okuzolile, ukubeka imingcele, ukunikeza ukucaciseleka, nokufuna usizo lochwepheshe uma iphethini iqhubeka.
Ukusolwa ngokukopela lapho umsulwa kungaba yinto edabukisayo futhi edidayo. Cabangela indaba kaJake no-Emily. Bebendawonye iminyaka emithathu emangalisayo futhi babelane ngezikhathi ezingenakubalwa zenjabulo, ukuhleka, nothando. Ngobunye ubusuku, u-Jake ufika ekhaya ukuze athole u-Emily ethukuthele. Unesiqiniseko sokuthi ubengathembekile ngemuva kokubona ingosi yezokuxhumana engacacile evela kumngani wabo bobabili. Naphezu kokuphikisa kwakhe ukungabi nacala, ukumangalelwa kuka-Emily kuya ngokuya kuqina, kulimaza uJake.
Indlela evamile yokusabela lapho usolwa ngamanga ihlanganisa ukushaqeka, intukuthelo, nokudideka. Kungenzeka kanjani ukuthi ubudlelwano bokwethembana buwohloke ngokushesha okungaka ngenxa yokungaqondi? Umuntu omthandayo nomethembayo angacabanga kanjani ukuthi uzomkhaphela? Ukumangalela okungamanga kungalimaza kakhulu ubudlelwano benu, kudale ukungathembani nokungazethembi.
Sixoxe nodokotela wengqondo olulekayo uDhriti Bhavsar (M.Sc, Clinical Psychology), ogxile ebudlelwaneni, ukuhlukana, kanye nokwelulekwa kwe-LGBTQ, mayelana nencazelo yezinsolo ezingamanga, izimbangela nezimpawu zokusolwa okungamanga, ukuthi izinsolo ezingamanga zibhubhisa kanjani ubudlelwano, nokuthi ungasabela kanjani lapho othile ekusola ngento ongayenzanga.
Kungani Umlingani Wakho Emangalela Amanga - Izizathu Ezivamile
Okuqukethwe
Ngaphambi kokuba sifinyelele ekutheni kungani, ake siqonde incazelo yokusolwa okungamanga. Kusho ukusola umuntu ngento angayenzanga. Ngokuvamile kuvela ekungaqondani, ukungazethembi, noma ubudlelwano besikhathi esidlule . Lezi zimangalo ezingenasisekelo, ezingenasisekelo zingalimaza imizwa, zilimaze ukwethembana, futhi zidale ukungezwani, okwenza kube kubalulekile ukuzixazulula ngokuthula nangobulungisa.
Ukumangalela njalo ebudlelwaneni kungase kubangele umonakalo unomphela uma kusingathwa ngokungalungile, yingakho ukuqonda ukuthi kungani umlingani wakho emangalela amanga kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuxazulula inkinga. Lapho uqonda isizathu sokuziphatha okunjalo, uzokwazi ukuqonda isimo futhi uthole ukuthi yini okufanele yenziwe ukuze ugweme imizwa enjalo. Qhubeka ufunde ukuze wazi izizathu ezimbalwa ezivamile zokusolwa okunjalo.
Izimbangela ezivamile zokumangalelwa okungamanga:
- Ukuqagela kokungazethembi kwabo
- Izinkinga zokuthembela
- Ukungafani kwezitayela zokunamathiselwe
- Ithonya labanye
- ukukhanya kwegesi
- Ukuhlanekezela kwengqondo yabamangaleli
1. Baveza ukungazethembi kwabo kuwe
Ukusola umuntu ngamanga ngokukopela kusho okuningi ngommangaleli kunomuntu omsolayo. Uma ubhekene nengwadla yezinsolo ezinjalo, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi lokhu akuphathelene nawe njengoba kungase kube mayelana nomlingani wakho ozama ukufihla ukungazethembi kwakhe.
Ukubikezela kuyindlela yokuzivikela lapho umuntu ezwa imizwa engathandeki esola abanye abamzungezile ngokuthi banomzwelo ofanayo ngoba kubuhlungu ngaye ukwamukela okufanayo ngaphakathi kuye. Isibonelo, umlingani onomona esola umlingani wakhe ngokuthi unomona.
Dhriti Bhavsar, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo
Lapho ubudlelwano bomuntu nabo bumosheka, ubuhlobo babo nawo wonke umuntu nabo buba nesiphetho esifanayo. Ngakho-ke lapho umlingani wakho eqala ukumangalela amanga, ngokuvamile kungenxa yokuthi:
- Abakholwa ukuthi balufanele uthando
- Banomuzwa wokuthi abalungile ngokwanele, yingakho bengase baveze le mizwa ebuhlotsheni
- Bakholelwa ukuthi ungathola kalula umuntu ongcono kunabo
- Bona ngokwabo bahileleke ekungathembeki futhi ukukusola kuyindlela yabo yokunciphisa icala labo noma ukwesaba ukutholwa.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Umona Usenza Sibe Abantu – Ingabe Umona Unempilo Ebudlelwaneni?
2. Izinkinga zokuthembela
Uma kube khona umlando wokuphuka kwethemba, ngisho nasezindleleni ezincane, umlingani wakho angase akuthole kunzima ukukukholelwa. Lokhu kuntuleka kokwethembana kungabonakala njengokumangalelwa okungenasisekelo kokukopela, njengoba kungase kusheshe ukucabanga okubi kakhulu ngaphandle kobufakazi obuqinile. Dhriti uthi,
"Umlingani wakho kungenzeka ukuthi ubhekene nezinkinga zokuthembana . Ngakho-ke, bakuthola kunzima ukukukholelwa noma ukukunikeza ithuba lokungabaza."
Dhriti Bhavsar, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo
Esinye isizathu kungaba ubudlelwano obehlulekile esikhathini esidlule. Okwenzeka esikhathini esidlule, ikakhulukazi lezo ezihilela ukukhaphela noma ukungathembeki, zingashiya izibazi ezihlala njalo. Uma umlingani wakho ekhohliswe esikhathini esidlule, angase athwale lokho kwesaba ebuhlotsheni bakho bamanje. Lokhu kungaholela ekukhuleni kokusola kanye nokuthambekela kokukumangalela ngamanga ngokukopela njengendlela yokuzivikela ukuze ugweme ukuphinde ulimale.
3. Ukungafani kwezitayela zokunamathisela
Indlela yokunamathelana yomuntu isho lukhulu ngendlela axhumana ngayo kanye nokuzwa uthando. Izitayela zokunamathelana , ezakhiwa esemncane ngokusekelwe ekusebenzelaneni nabanakekeli, zithonya indlela abantu ababona futhi baziphathe ngayo ebudlelwaneni. UDhriti uyachaza,
"Isitayela sokunamathisela esingavikelekile ngenxa yokulimala okudlule kusukela ebuntwaneni noma ebudlelwaneni bangaphambili singaba nomthelela omkhulu ekungabonini kahle nasezinsolweni zokukhohlisa ezingamanga."
Dhriti Bhavsar, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo
Uma umlingani wakho enesitayela sokunamathisela esikhathazayo, angabona izinkomba zokungathembeki kokuthi:
- Izenzo ezizimele
- Noma isidingo sesikhala somuntu siqu
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu abanesitayela sokunamathisela sokugwema:
- Kwazise ukuzimela kwabo
- Futhi ungase ungakhululeki ngokusondelana kakhulu.
Uma unesitayela sokunamathisela esigwemayo futhi umlingani wakho engasiqondi isidingo sakho sesikhala, angase ahumushe ngokungeyikho ukuziphatha kwakho njengezimpawu zokufihla noma ukukopela.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Isitayela Sokunamathelana Okungavikelekile Ebudlelwaneni: Izimbangela Nendlela Yokunqoba
4. Ithonya labanye
Uma uzibuza, “Kungani intombi yami ihlale ingisola ngokukopela?” noma "Kungani umlingani wami ehlala engibeka icala lokungathembeki?", bese wazi ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi, amathonya angaphandle afana nalokhu:
- Friends
- Family
- ezokuxhum
...kungahlwanyela imbewu yokungabaza. Uma umuntu oseduze nomlingani wakho ephakamisa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi uyakhohlisa ebudlelwaneni , kungabangela izinsolo ezingenasisekelo. Imibono kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwabanye kungaba nomthelela omkhulu endleleni umlingani wakho abheka ngayo izenzo zakho kanye nezinhloso zakho.
5. Ezinye izici zesimo nezingokwengqondo
Nazi ezinye izizathu ezingenzeka, nakuba zingajwayelekile, zokusola umlingani wakho ngokukopela ngaphandle kobufakazi:
Ukukhwabanisa nokukhanyisa igesi
Ukumangalelwa okungamanga kokukopela kuvame ukugqagqana nokukhanya kwegesi ebudlelwaneni, okuyindlela yokukhohlisa engokwengqondo lapho omunye uzakwethu ephika noma ehlanekezela amaqiniso ukuze enze omunye angabaze iqiniso lawo. Ngokwesibonelo, ummangaleli angase athi, “Ubulokhu ufihla,” ngisho noma lokho kungelona iqiniso, ukuze athethelele izinsolo zabo ezingapheli. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umlingani osolwayo uqala:
- Ukungabaza inkumbulo yabo, iphimbo, noma izenzo
- Ukwenza ukudideka
- Ukuzizwa benecala ngento abangakaze bayenze
Ukuhlanekezela kwengqondo kummangaleli
Ukumangalelwa okungamanga okuningi kubhebhezelwa ukuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo noma izihlungi zengqondo ezisonta umbono. Ezivamile zihlanganisa:
- Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe: “Uma ungatholakali ngaso sonke isikhathi, kumelwe ukuba kukhona okufihlayo”
- Ukwenza inhlekelele: “Umoyizele othile, ngakho-ke uyakhohlisa ngempela”
- Ukufunda ingqondo: “Ngiyazi unamanga noma uthi awuyena”
Lokhu kuhlanekezela kuvela ngenxa yokungavikeleki, ukuhlukumezeka okungaxazululiwe, noma ukukhathazeka, futhi kwenza ukuxhumana okunenjongo kucishe kungenzeki kuze kube yilapho kusingathwa khona ngokwelashwa.
"Ezinye izimo zengqondo, njengokwesaba kanye nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo ezihlobene nazo zingaba yizimbangela zokusolwa ngamanga. Lezi zimo zingaphambukisa umbono womlingani wakho ngeqiniso, okuholela ekukholelweni ekungathembekini ngaphandle kobufakazi bangempela."
Dhriti Bhavsar, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo
Umthelela Wengqondo Wokusolwa Ngokukhohlisa
Ngaphambi kokuba sixoxe ngendlela yokuhlanza igama lakho ezinsolweni ezingamanga ebudlelwaneni bothando, ake siphendule omunye umbuzo obalulekile: ingabe ukusola umuntu njalo ngokukhohlisa ukuhlukunyezwa? Yebo, kunjalo. Ukusola umuntu njalo ngento angayenzanga kuwukuhlukumeza futhi imiphumela yengqondo yokumangalelwa ngamanga ebudlelwaneni ingaba nomthelela omkhulu empilweni yengqondo kanye nenhlalakahle yomuntu osolwa ngalezo zinsolo.
Izinsolo ezingamanga zokukopela zingadala umonakalo ebudlelwaneni bothando, okuvame ukuholela ekulimaleni kwabo ekugcineni. Lapho othile esolwa ngokungeyikho ngokungethembeki, izisekelo zokwethembana nenhlonipho zingabhidlika, zidale umonakalo ohlala njalo. Ngokuka-Dhriti, ngezansi izindlela ukuhlukumezeka okuvela ekusolwa ngokukhohlisa kuthinta impilo yengqondo yesisulu futhi kucekele phansi ubudlelwano:
Umthelela ongokwengqondo wokusolwa ngamanga ngokukopela:
- Ukwethembana kuyancipha
- Intukuthelo
- Ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo
- Ukuzenyeza
- Ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka
1. Kwehlisa ukwethembana nokholo
Ukwethembana kuyisisekelo sanoma ibuphi ubudlelwano bokwethembana. Ukumangalelwa njalo ebudlelwaneni kwehlisa lokhu kuthembana, okwenza kube nzima kozakwethu ukuthi bakholwe komunye nomunye.
- Lokhu kuguguleka kokuthembana kwenza buthaka isibopho nokholo olubambe ubudlelwano ndawonye
- Uzakwethu osolwayo angase athwale kanzima ukwethemba ukuthi umlingani wakhe uzoba nokholo kuye ukuthi aqhubekele phambili
- Ummangaleli angase aqhubeke nokungabaza
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Imithetho Eyishumi Nanye Yegolide Yokwenza Ubudlelwano Busebenze
2. Idala ubutha namagqubu
Kunjani ukuhlale usola umuntu ngokukopela ukuhlukumeza, ungase ubuze? UDhriti uthi, “Ukumangalelwa ngamanga kubangela inzondo nentukuthelo ngenxa yokungakholelwa, ukuqondwa nokuhlonishwa.
Umlingani osolwayo uzizwa engaqondwa kahle futhi engahlonishwa, okuholela emizweni enamandla njengentukuthelo nokukhungatheka. Ukungakholwa nokuqonda komlingani wakhe kukhulisa inzondo ejulile ebudlelwaneni , okungaba nzima ukuyinqoba. Lobu butha bungangena kuzo zonke izici zobudlelwano, kwenze ukubuyisana kube nzima.
3. Ibangela ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo neziyaluyalu
Ukuhlala uzivikele ezinsolweni ezingamanga ezinjalo kuholela ekucindezelekeni okukhulu okungokomzwelo kanye nesiyaluyalu. Uzakwethu osolwayo uhlangabezana nesivunguvungu semizwa enamandla, okuhlanganisa:
- Ukukhathazeka
- Anger
- Intukuthelo
- Uzungu
Umuzwa oqhubekayo wokulahlwa kwezothando kanye nokungakholelwa kungabangela ubuhlungu obukhulu bomzwelo, uphazamise ukuvumelana kobudlelwane.
Ocwaningweni mayelana nezinsolo ezingamanga zokuhlukumeza, abacwaningi bathole ukuthi imiphumela phakathi kwabasolwa ihlanganisa izimpawu zokucindezeleka (48%), ukushintshashintsha kwesimo somndeni (92%), ukulahlekelwa ukuxhumana nezingane/nomndeni (98%), kanye nokukhubazeka emsebenzini (44%).
4. Kusongela ukuzethemba nokuzethemba
Ukumangalelwa okungamanga kungaba usongo olukhulu ekuzethembeni nasekuzethembeni. Uma lezi zinsolo zikhula zize zishiswe ngegesi, isisulu singase siqale ukuzibuza, sizibuze ukuthi ngandlela-thile kufaneleka yini ukuphathwa okunjalo. Lokhu kukhohlisa kwemizwa:
- Futhi kwehlisa ukuzethemba kwabo emibonweni nasezenzweni zabo.
- Kungacekela phansi umuzwa wabo wokuzethemba
- Benze bazizwe benecala
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-11 Zokuziphatha Okuphansi Kokuzethemba Ebudlelwaneni
5. Kuholela ekukhathazekeni nasekucindezelekeni
Enye impendulo ebalulekile yokuthi uhlale usola umuntu ngokukopela ukuhlukumeza ukuthi kungaholela ezinkingeni ezinzima zempilo yengqondo. Uzakwethu osolwayo angase ahlangabezane:
- Usizi
- Ukuphelelwa yithemba
- Ukuswela usizo
Lokhu kungagcina kuphenduke ukukhathazeka noma ukudangala. Ukucindezeleka okungokomzwelo okungapheli kanye nesiyaluyalu kuphazamisa inhlalakahle yabo engokwengqondo, okwenza kube nzima ukugcina umbono omuhle ngempilo nobuhlobo.
Indlela Yokuphendula Uma Usolwa Ngokukopela?
Manje njengoba sesikhulume ngezizathu nemiphumela yokumangalela umuntu ngamanga ngokungethembeki, ake sixoxe ngokuthi ungalisula kanjani igama lakho ekumangaleleni okungamanga. Ngokwemvelo, ukuthukuthela ngokumangalelwa okungenasisekelo cishe kuyimpendulo kubantu abaningi. Nokho, udinga ukwazi ukuthi ngeke kusize icala lakho. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma unganakile nhlobo, uphuza ikhofi lakho ngenkathi ukhuluma ngephimbo elinomuntu okhohlakele, uzobukeka njengesidlakela. Ngakho, yini ngempela okufanele uyenze? Nazi izinyathelo ezibalulekile ongazithatha ukuze uzulazule kulesi simo.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Indlela Yokuqaphela Amafulegi Abomvu Obudlelwano – Uchwepheshe Uyakutshela
1. Zola
Ukusabela okuvamile lapho usolwa ngamanga kuvame ukuba yintukuthelo. Kodwa-ke, into engcono kakhulu ongayenza uma usolwa ngokukopela kodwa ungenacala ukulawula intukuthelo yakho . Ukuthukuthela ngokuphelele yilokhu kusolwa kuzoholela ku:
- Omunye wenu ephuma ngesankahlu
- Ingxoxo ayifinyeleli esiphethweni
- Ukwenza ubukeke unecala
Cishe kuzoba yinto enzima kakhulu okuzomele uyenze, kodwa uma ungahlala uzolile, maningi amathuba okuthi ingxoxo ephusile yenzeke futhi ifinyelele esiphethweni.
Ucwaningo lubonise ukuthi abantu besithathu bavame ukuhumusha intukuthelo evela kumsolwa njengophawu lwecala yize intukuthelo ingeyona inkomba evumelekile yecala.
2. Ungawujiki kubo
“O, yimi engikhohlisayo? Kuthiwani uma wena…” Cha, ungamjikeli umlingani wakho icala bese usola omunye umuntu . Emicabangweni yakho egcwele intukuthelo, ungase uveze izinto ngomlingani wakho ezikuthukuthelisayo, okungenzeka ukuthi ziyolimaza kakhulu ubudlelwano kunokuba zisize. Uma uzivikela ngokweqile futhi ushintsha isihloko sempikiswano, kuzogcina kukwenza ubukeke usola kakhulu.
Ukumangalela okungamanga kubangela ubutha namagqubu, kwenze ubuhlobo bube buthaka.
Dhriti Bhavsar, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo
Uma usolwa ngokukopela umsulwa, kubalulekile ukuthi uhlale uzolile futhi uzame ukusabalalisa isimo kuqala. Izinkinga onazo ungazilinda njengoba umlingani wakho engekho esimweni esihle sengqondo njengamanje.
3. Qonda izizathu zabo kanye nombono wabo
Ukumangalelwa okungamanga kuvame ukuvela kulokhu:
- Izigigaba zesikhathi esidlule ezibuhlungu
- yokungazethembi
- Ukuzenyeza
- Izinkinga zokulawula
Ukuqonda umbono wabo kungakusiza uxazulule umsuka wezinsolo zabo. UDhriti uyachaza, "Khumbula ukuthi le nkinga imayelana nomlingani wakho kakhulu kunawe. Cela ukucaciselwa. Buza umlingani wakho ukuthi umcabango wokuthi uyamkhohlisa uvelaphi. Lalela umbono wabo futhi unikeze ukuqinisekiswa kanye nesiqiniseko." Uma uzama ukubhekana nezinsolo ezingamanga ebudlelwaneni, into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukufaka isigqoko sakho sobuseshi, esikhundleni sokuzilungiselela ukulwa. Zama ukuqonda:
- Kungani umlingani wakho ezizwa ngale ndlela?
- Ingabe baye bakhohliswa ebudlelwaneni obudlule?
- Ingabe banokungazethembi okungase kubhebhethekise lezi zinsolo?
Cela izibonelo ezithile noma izimo lapho benomuzwa wokuthi wenze ngendlela ethile.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izimpawu Eziyi-17 Zokuthi Unentombazane Engavuthiwe Engokomzwelo
4. Gwema ukuzivikela
Ukumangalelwa okungamanga kuvame ukubangela ukungezwani okuningi. Ummangaleli angase ahumushe ngokungeyikho izenzo ezingenacala njengezisolisayo, kuyilapho ummangalelwa angase azivikele. Lokhu kuphinde kwenze ubuhlobo bube buthaka, kudala umjikelezo wokungabaza nokungqubuzana phakathi kombhangqwana. Ngakho-ke, noma ususa izimpawu zokumangalelwa okungamanga, qiniseka ukuthi:
- Yazisa imizwa yomlingani wakho esikhundleni sokuyichitha
- Qinisekisa imizwa yabo
- Baqinisekise ngeyakho ukuzibophezela ebuhlotsheni
- Siza umlingani wakho abhekane nokungazethembi kwakhe
Kuzokwenza umlingani wakho azizwe sengathi imizwa yakhe kanye nokukhathazeka kubalulekile kuwe. Kuzosiza nobabili nisebenze ndawonye ukwakha ubudlelwano bokwethembana.
I-5. Zinakekele
Impilo yakho yengqondo ingase ihambe kancane uma ukumangalelwa kuqhubeka. Kubalulekile ukuthi uzinakekele futhi ubeke phambili inhlalakahle yakho iyonke. UDhriti uyancoma:
- Ukukhuluma nabangani nomndeni
- Ukuncika ohlelweni lwakho lokusekela
- Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi awuzinaki izidingo zakho ngenkathi uzama ukuxazulula inkinga
- Ukuzibandakanya ukuzinakekela imisebenzi
- Ukugcina indlela yokuphila enempilo
Ukuzinakekela kuzokusiza ululame futhi uqhubeke.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinganekwane Namaqiniso angu-20 Ngokukhohlisa Emshadweni
6. Funa usizo lochwepheshe
"Uma izinsolo ziqhubeka, cabanga ngokwelashwa kwabashadile", kuncoma u-Dhriti. Umelaphi angakwazi:
- Siza ukulamula ingxoxo
- Nikeza ngamasu okwakha kabusha ukwethembana
- Nikeza ngendawo ephephile nengathathi hlangothi ukuze wena nozakwenu nibhekane nezinkinga eziwumsuka
- Usizo thuthukisa igebe lokuxhumana noma inkinga
Ukubhekana nokumangalelwa okungamanga kungaba inselele, futhi ukuqondisa kochwepheshe kungenza umehluko omkhulu.
7. Zindla ngobudlelwano
Ngokuka-Dhriti, uzakwethu ekugcineni kokumangalelwa kufanele "athathe isinyathelo emuva futhi abheke ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano" okuholele esimweni esinjalo ngaphambi kokwenza noma yisiphi isinqumo. Uncoma ukuqaphela iphethini yokuhlukumeza - bona ukuthi:
- Lena iphethini ephindayo
- Umlingani wakho unokusabela okungokomzwelo okungalingani
- Bazama ukukwenza uzizwe unecala
- Kuyindlela yabo yokulawula nokukuhlazisa
Siyavuma. Kumelwe uthathe isinyathelo emuva bese ucabanga ngobuhlobo ngekhanda elizolile. Ingabe lezi zinsolo ziyisigameko sesikhathi esisodwa, noma kukhona umkhuba wokungathembani? Ukuqonda indlela osebenza ngayo ebudlelwaneni bakho kungakusiza ukuthi unqume ukuthi uzoqhubeka kanjani.
8. Beka imingcele
Ukusolwa ngokukopela njalo kungase kukhathale futhi kukulimaze, yingakho uDhriti etusa “ukumisa imingcele enempilo” ukuze uvikele inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo. Khuluma nozakwenu mayelana:
- Inqubomgomo
- Transparency
- Indawo yomuntu siqu
- Ukuxhumana
Veza ngokucacile ukuthi yini eyamukelekayo nengamukeleki. Batshele ukuthi kuzoba nemiphumela uma le mingcele yephulwa. Yazisa umlingani wakho ukuthi nakuba uzimisele ukuxoxa ngezinto ezimkhathazayo, ukumangalela okungenasisekelo njalo akwamukeleki.
9. Gcina ukukhulumisana ngokukhululekile
Uma usolwa ngokukopela ungenacala, veza imizwa yakho futhi ucacise ukuma kwakho. Chaza ngomoya ophansi ukuthi awukopelanga. Ukukhulumisana okuvulekile kubalulekile ekuxazululeni ukungaqondani ebudlelwaneni. Kuyo yonke inqubo, zama uku:
- Gcina imigqa yokuxhumana nozakwenu ivulekile
- Sebenzisa ukuxhumana okugomelayo
- Baqinisekise njalo
- Bakhuthaze ukuthi bafune usizo lochwepheshe, uma kudingeka
UDhriti uthi, “Khuthaza umlingani wakho ukuthi asebenzise izitatimende ezithi ‘Mina’—”Ngizizwe … ngenkathi wenza…”, esikhundleni sokuthi “Wenzile …. kimina.” Lokhu kuguqula ukugxila emzwelweni esikhundleni sokusola.” Kukhuthaza isisulu ukuba sigxile futhi siveze indlela esizizwa ngayo esikhundleni sokuhileleka emdlalweni wokusola nomlingani waso.”
Nokho, uyaxwayisa, “Akuwona wedwa umthwalo wemfanelo wakho ukususa konke ukungaboni ngaso linye, kuwumzamo owabelana ngawo.
10. Uma uzizwa ucindezelwe, hamba
Ukumangalelwa ngamanga ngokukopela nsuku zonke kungase kucindezele futhi kukuncishe umoya. Uma umlingani wakho eqala ukukubheka sengathi usemncane -
- Izingcingo eziqhubekayo
- Ukukubuza mayelana nokuthi ukuphi nokuthi uhlangana nobani
- Idlula ngefoni yakho nama-imeyili
- Ukulandela inkundla yakho yezokuxhumana
...khona-ke ungase ufune ukucabangela kabusha ubuhlobo bakho. Uma umlingani wakho eqhubeka nokukusola ngamanga naphezu kwemizamo yakho emihle kakhulu, kungase kube yisikhathi sokuhamba. Ukuhlala usola othile ngokukopela kuyindlela yokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo.
Imiphumela engokwengqondo yokumangalelwa okungamanga ebudlelwaneni ihlanganisa izindaba zokwethembana okwedlulele okunzima ukuzilungisa. Ubudlelwano kufanele bukusize ube inguqulo engcono kakhulu yakho futhi ukwenze ujabule. Uma kukwenza uqambe amanga ngokuthi ublome nobani, kusho ukuthi ubuhlobo obungaphilile noma obunamandla ukuba phakathi kwabo. Inhlalakahle yakho kufanele ize kuqala ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izibonelo Eziyi-19 Zemingcele Enempilo Ebudlelwaneni
11. Nikeza ubufakazi futhi usule igama lakho
Ukunikeza ubufakazi bokusekela ubumsulwa bakho kubalulekile ukuze usule igama lakho ekumangaleleni okungamanga. Uma kunobufakazi bokuthi ukumangalelwa kungamanga, kuveze kumlingani wakho. Lokhu kungasiza ekuqedeni noma yikuphi ukungabaza noma ukukhathazeka okungenzeka babe nakho futhi kuqinise udaba lwakho. Lokhu kungase kuhlanganise:
- Ukwabelana ngendawo yakho
- Ibonisa imilayezo
- Kubandakanya abangani bobabili noma amalungu omndeni angakuqinisekisa
Nakuba kungase kuzwakale kuhlasela, ngezinye izikhathi ubufakazi obuphathekayo buyadingeka ukuze usule igama lakho ekumangaleleni okungamanga. Isithunzi sakho akumele sonakaliswe ngokungafanele. “Namathela eqinisweni lakho futhi ube nokholo kuwena. Ziqinisekise wena nolwazi lwakho,” kusho uDhriti.
Ungakuqinisa Kanjani Ukwethemba Futhi Uvimbele Ukumangalelwa Kwamanga
Ukumangalelwa ngamanga kanye kungazamazamisa ukuzethemba kwakho, kodwa uma kwenzeka ngokuphindaphindiwe, kubonisa inkinga ejulile: ukuntuleka kokuphepha ngokomzwelo nokwethembana. Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi imibhangqwana ingakwakha kabusha lokhu kuphepha ngezenzo eziqhubekayo nezisobala.
Yini eyakha ukwethembana:
- Ukuxhumana okusobala
- Sula okulindelwe
- ukungaguquguquki
- ukuba sengcupheni
- Ukuholwa ngokomsebenzi
- Ukungena njalo
1. Zijwayeze ukuxhumana okusobala
Ukuvuleka kudala ukuphepha. Esikhundleni sokuchaza kakhulu konke okwenzayo, vumelana ngokuthi ukubonakala obala kubukeka kanjani nobabili.
Lokho kungase kusho ukuthi:
- Ningena kanye ngosuku uma nihlukene
- Ukwethembeka ngezinhlelo ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuphenywa
- Ukugcina amaphasiwedi eyimfihlo kodwa ukuziphatha kuvuliwe
Ukungafihli akukona ukulawula; imayelana nokususa indawo lapho okucatshangwayo kuzala khona.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izinhlelo Zokusebenza Zokukhohlisa Ezisetshenziswa Kakhulu Ezingu-19 Ze-iPhone
2. Misa okulindelekile nemingcele ecacile
Izinsolo zivame ukuvela lapho imingcele ingacacile. Hlalani phansi nixoxisane ngokuthi ukwethembeka, ubumfihlo, nenhlonipho kusho ukuthini komunye nomunye wenu.
Ngokwesibonelo:
- Ingabe kulungile ukudla isidlo sasemini nomuntu owake wasebenza naye?
- Ungena kaningi kangakanani phakathi nohambo lomsebenzi?
- Iziphi izinhlobo zokusebenzisana ku-inthanethi ozizwa kungenanhlonipho?
Lezi zingxoxo zingase zizizwe zingakhululekile, kodwa zivimbela ukungezwani kamuva. Imingcele, lapho kuvunyelwana ngayo, isebenza njengemephu eyabiwe, hhayi ikheji.
3. Yakha ukwethembana ngokusebenzisa ukungaguquguquki
Ukwethembana akwakhiwe ngezenzo zothando ngezikhathi ezithile ; kwakhiwe ngamaphethini. Gcina izithembiso, fika ngesikhathi, futhi usho lokho okushoyo. Kwakha ukwethembana lapho izenzo ezincane zihambisana namagama, njengokuthi:
- Ibuyisela izingcingo
- Ukuhlonipha izibopho
- Ukubonisa ubukhona bemizwa
Ngisho nangemva kokusolwa ngamanga, ukungaguquguquki emazwini nasezenzweni zakho kusiza umlingani wakho ukuthi ahlaziye umbono wakhe ngawe.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukuqamba Amanga Ngokungalaleli Nemiphumela Yakho Ebudlelwaneni
4. Yenza ukuba sengozini kube umkhuba
Ukumangalelwa okungamanga kuvame ukuvela ngenxa yokwesaba:
- Ukulahlekelwa
- Ukwenqaba
- Noma ukulimala futhi
Ikhambi liwukuba sengozini ngokomzwelo . Shintshanani ngokwabelana ngokwesaba noma ukungazethembi kwenu ngaphandle kokwahlulela. Ukuvuleleka okunjalo kusiza ukuguqula ukusola kube uzwela. Ubuthakathaka bakha ukusondelana futhi kukhumbuza bobabili abalingani ukuthi basohlangothini olufanayo.
5. Funa isiqondiso sochwepheshe kusenesikhathi
Akudingeki ulinde kuze kube yinkinga ukuze uthole ukwelashwa. Ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana kusiza abalingani ukuthi baqonde izimbangela zomunye nomunye ngokomzwelo, izikhala zokuxhumana, kanye nezindlela zokunamathelana ngaphambi kokuba ziphenduke izinsolo noma intukuthelo. Umeluleki ongathathi hlangothi angafundisa namasu okulawula imizwa ngakho akekho umlingani ophendukela ekusoleni noma ekuzivikeleni lapho kuvela imicabango yokukhathazeka.
6. Vakashela kabusha ukwethenjwa njengomkhuba oqhubekayo
Ubudlelwano buyashintsha, kanjalo nezivumelwano zakho zokuthembana kufanele. Njalo ezinyangeni ezimbalwa, zindla ngemibuzo efana nalena:
- "Ngabe ngisazizwa ngiphephile ngokomzwelo uma nginawe?"
- “Ingabe ikhona imikhuba esiqala ukungenza ngingakhululeki?”
- “Yini engisiza ngizizwe ngixhumene futhi ngivikelekile?”
Ukungena okumatasa kuguqula ukusolwa okungaba yizingxoxo ezinempilo. Baguqula ukungezwani kwemizwelo kube ukusebenzisana.
imibuzo ejwayelekile ukubuzwa
Uma umlingani wakho eqhubeka nokukusola ngokukopela, ngokuvamile kusho ukuthi uveza ukungaqiniseki kwakhe kuwe. Kungenzeka ukuthi abaqondi kahle izenzo zakho, kodwa ikakhulukazi kungenxa yezinkinga zokuthembana. Bangase babe nezici zobunikazi futhi bazame ukukulawula. Ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu, kungaba yibo abakopelayo noma kungaba yindlela yabo yokukuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo.
Uma usolwa ngamanga ngokukopela, zama ukuthula. Bheka umlingani wakho emehlweni umtshele ukuthi awukaze wenze ukungathembeki. Nikeza ubufakazi - ukwabelana ngendawo yakho, ukukhombisa imilayezo, noma ngisho nokubandakanya abangani bobabili noma amalungu omndeni angakuqinisekisa - ukusekela ubumsulwa bakho futhi aqede noma yikuphi ukungabaza okungenzeka babe nakho. Njengoba ukhuluma iqiniso, ngeke kube khona ukungqubuzana endabeni yakho noma kunjalo. Kodwa-ke, naphezu kwemizamo yakho yangempela, kungase kunganeli njengoba ukungazethembi kozakwenu ngeke kuphele ngaphandle komsebenzi omningi.
Abakhohlisi bangase bazame ukukuphendulela, basole, futhi bakwenze ungabaze iqiniso lakho. Bazobukela phansi ukubaluleka kwesimo futhi bazame ukubalekela i-scot-free. Ezimweni ezihlukumezayo, bangase babe nobudlova ngokomzimba noma bakusabise ngokukulimaza.
Okuwukuphela kwendlela yokuqinisekisa ukuthi umuntu unecala lokukopela uma unobufakazi, noma uma bevuma ukwenza lokho ngokwabo. Ukuqagela, ukuqagela, nokuzama ukuthola iziphetho ekuphenduleni kwabo kushiya isikhala esiningi samaphutha.
Izikhombi Ezibalulekile
- Ukumangalelwa okungamanga kokukopela kuvame ukuvela ekungazethembini kommangaleli, ulwazi lwangaphambilini, noma izinkinga ezingokwengqondo.
- Ukusolwa ngokukopela lapho umsulwa kungadala ukuhlukumezeka okukhulu ngokomzwelo, okuhlanganisa intukuthelo, ukucasuka, nokungabaza, ngokuvamile okubangela ukulimala okuhlala njalo empilweni engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo yabo bobabili abahililekile.
- Hlala uzolile, uzwela, futhi ugweme ukuziphatha kokuzivikela noma ukuziphindiselela lapho usolwa ngamanga ukuze wenze kube lula ukuxhumana nokuqonda okwakhayo.
- Ukwelulekwa kochwepheshe kungaba yinzuzo ekuxazululeni izinkinga eziwumsuka nokwakha kabusha ukwethembana, kuyilapho ukumisa imingcele ecacile nokugcina ukukhulumisana okukhululekile kubalulekile ekuhloniphaneni nokuphepha ngokomzwelo.
- Uma ukumangalelwa kuthatha uhlobo lokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo, beka phambili inhlalakahle yomuntu siqu futhi ucabange ukushiya ubuhlobo
Imicabango Final
Ukusolwa ngokukhohlisa ungenacala kuyinto ebuhlungu kakhulu engaba nemiphumela ehlala njalo engqondweni ebudlelwaneni. Ukumangalelwa ngamanga kungabhubhisa ukwethembana, kuthinte ukusondelana , futhi kukwenze uzizwe unemizwa enamandla njengentukuthelo, ubuhlungu, kanye nenzondo. Uma uzithola usesimweni esifanayo, khumbula ukuthi awuwedwa kulo mzabalazo. Imibhangqwana eminingi ibhekane nezinselele ezinjalo futhi yavela inamandla kunanini ngaphambili. Ngendlela efanele, ungazivikela kulezi zimangalo ezilimazayo futhi uthole indlela yokuphulukiswa kanye nesisombululo.
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Umnikelo wakho awuyona iminikelo yokusiza . Kuzovumela i-Bonobology ukuthi iqhubeke nokukulethela ulwazi olusha nolusesikhathini njengoba sifuna ukusiza noma ubani emhlabeni ukuthi afunde ukwenza noma yini.
