Imiphumela Yengqondo Yokumangalelwa Kwamanga Ebudlelwaneni: Ukubuka Kochwepheshe

Ubudlelwano akuvamile ukuba buphelele. Ngisho nasezibophweni ezinempilo kakhulu, kanye nothando, ukunakekelwa, nenjabulo, kuyoba khona ukungqubuzana nokungezwani, futhi abalingani bangase babizane ngokuziphatha okuthile. Kodwa-ke, uma usolwa ngokungafanele ngezinto ongazenzanga noma ongakazikhulumi, kungakwenza ulahlekelwe ukuzethemba kuwena nobudlelwano. Lona omunye wemiphumela eminingi engokwengqondo yokumangalelwa ngamanga ebudlelwaneni obungadala umonakalo ohlala njalo.

Ukumangalelwa ngokuphindaphindiwe kungakufaka umoya ekucabangeni kabusha isisekelo sobudlelwano bakho, kwenze buthaka iwebhu ethambile yokwethembana nokuqonda exhumanisa abantu ababili. Nakuba ukumangalelwa kungase kusuke ekukhathazekeni noma kulokho okwenzekayo okufanelekile, zethula inkinga enkulu njengoba zishintsha ukuguquguquka kobudlelwano.

Njengoba zinomthelela ojulile, ingqondo yezinsolo ezingamanga kanye nendlela ezithinta ngayo abantu abahilelekile ebudlelwaneni idinga ukuhlolwa okujulile. Sikulethela lokhu kuqonda ngokubonisana nodokotela wezifo zengqondo ohlala eCalifornia kanye nochwepheshe wezokwelapha ngokuziphatha, uDkt. Shefali Batra (MD kwezokwelapha ngengqondo), ogxile ekwelulekeni ngokwehlukana nesehlukaniso, ukuhlukana nokuthandana, kanye nezinkinga zokuhambisana ngaphambi komshado.

Yiziphi Izinsolo ezingamanga Ebudlelwaneni?

Kalula nje, ukusolwa ngokwenza into ongayenzanga noma ongahlosile ukuyenza kufana nokumangalelwa ngamanga ebudlelwaneni bakho. Lezi zingathatha izinhlobo eziningi ezahlukene, futhi zingaba ezicashile noma zibe sobala. NgokukaDkt. Batra, izinsolo eziningi zisuka endaweni yokungavikeleki noma ziwumphumela wokuqagela ngakho-ke zingaxazululwa ngokukhulumisana okuvulekile nokwethembeka. Kodwa-ke, ukumangalelwa ngamanga kudala umjikelezo ononya oholela ekuwohlokeni kokuthembana nokuba sengozini, ukuwohloka kokuxhumana, futhi kwenza isisekelo sobudlelwano sibe buthaka.

Imiphumela yengqondo yokusolwa ngamanga ebudlelwaneni ingasukela ekucindezelekeni nomuzwa wecala kuya ekukhathazekeni, ukuzethemba okuphansi, kanye nezinkinga zokuthembana . UDkt. Batra uyanezela, “Lezi zinsolo ezingamanga zingathinta kabi ummangali. Bangase bazizwe benecala noma benamahloni uma beqaphela ukuthi babenephutha, noma bangase bazivikele futhi benqabe ukuvuma ukuthi benze iphutha.”

Uqhubeka echaza, “Umuntu angase asole umlingani wakhe ngamanga ngokuthi akamnaki ngokwanele, udlala ngothando, ukukhetha abanye abantu noma izimo noma izehlakalo phezu kwakhe, nokunye.” Ukumangalelana okunjalo okuqhubekayo ebuhlotsheni kungase kubonakale kuyinkinga ngempela futhi kwenze kube nzima ngabo bobabili abalingani ukuthola isisekelo esifanayo.

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"Njengoba abantu bekholelwa ukuthi ukumangalela kuwukubonakaliswa okusobala kokungavumelani nokungajabuli ngephutha lomunye umuntu, izinsolo eziningi zivela endleleni yokuzivikela ebizwa ngokuthi i-projection. Uma umlingani enze okuthile okungalungile, noma okufanele ukungamukeleki omunye umlingani angaba nengxoxo. Kodwa uma lokhu kuvezwa ngendlela ehlambalazayo ngendlela efanele, kubizwa ngokuthi ukusola."

Kungaba nzima ukubona izimpawu zokumangalelwa okungamanga, ikakhulukazi uma kuyiphethini ebudlelwaneni bakho ngoba awazi ngempela ukuthi umlingani wakho umangalela okuthile ngamabomu noma umbono wakhe ngendaba uphikisana kakhulu nowakho. Nokho, ukuqaphela le nkinga ukuthi iyini kanye nokuthola indlela yokunqamula iphethini kubalulekile ukuze kwakhiwe kabusha ukwethembana ebudlelwaneni. Ukukusiza ukuthi wenze lokho, nazi izibonelo ezijwayelekile zokumangalelwa okungamanga ebuhlotsheni:

• Ukungathembeki: Lapho uqamba amanga osolwa ngokukopela ngozakwenu, ukwesaba kwabo nokungazethembi bakuveza kuwe. Nokho, lokhu akwenzi ukumangalelwa kungabi nabuhlungu futhi kungase kuphazamise ubuhlobo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Lesi ngesinye sezibonelo ezitshelayo kakhulu zesayikholoji yokumangalelwa ngamanga kanye nomthelela wako ebudlelwaneni. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuhlukumezeka ngenxa yokumangalelwa ngamanga kungashintsha uhlobo lobudlelwano benu
• Ukuntula ukuzinikela: Ukusola uzakwenu ngokuntula ukuzibophezela ngenxa nje yokuthi abakwazanga ukufeza isithembiso abasenze kuwe noma bebematasa kakhulu ukuthi babeke ubudlelwano kuqala kuyisibonelo sakudala sempendulo engalingani enkingeni eholela ekumangaleleni okungamanga.
• Ukuhlukumeza: Omunye uzakwethu osola omunye ngokuhlukumeza uma bungekho ubufakazi bomzimba, bengqondo, noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo ngesinye isibonelo sakudala sokumangalelwa ngamanga ebudlelwaneni. Uma kucatshangelwa ubumbi bokumangalelwa okunjalo, umuntu owamukelayo angase azizwe edabukile futhi edabukiswe indlela umlingani wakhe azibheka ngayo.
• Ukukhohlisa: Ukuqamba amanga kungaqeda ukwethembana phakathi kozakwethu kodwa kanjalo nokumangalelwa okungamanga mayelana nokuqamba amanga. Uma umlingani wakho engakukholelwa lokho omtshela khona futhi akusole ngokuqamba amanga, kungase kube nzima nakakhulu ukuthi nixhumane ngokomzwelo noma ngokomzimba.
• Ukungalungi kwezezimali: Omunye umlingani usola omunye ngokuphatha kabi izimali noma ukungathembeki ngemali, kuyilapho, eqinisweni, bebenomthwalo wemfanelo futhi beneqiniso. Kungase kubangelwa ukungathembani noma ukucindezeleka ngokwezimali
• Ukuntula umthwalo wemfanelo: Ukutshela umlingani ukuthi ubalekela isibopho ngenxa nje yokuthi akenzanga okuthile ngendlela obuzokwenza ngayo (noma obulindele ukuthi benze ngayo) kuyisibonelo esihle sokuthi ukungakwazi ukuthola into efanayo kungaholela kanjani ekumangaleleni okungamanga.

9 Imiphumela Yengqondo Yokumangalelwa Kwamanga Ebudlelwaneni

Uma umlingani wakho ekumangalela ngamanga ngezinto ezimbi njengokungathembeki, ukuhlukumeza, noma ukungafaneleki ngokwezimali, kungaqeda ukwethemba kwakho amakhono akho njengozakwethu futhi kukwenze ungabaze amandla ayisisekelo obudlelwano bakho. Umngane wami, uRob, wayenenkinga efanayo emshadweni wakhe. Umkakhe wake wathola igama lowesifazane emlandweni wakhe wokuthungatha kuFacebook, kwase kwanele ukuthi aqale amsole ngokumqola.

Wayeqiniseka ukuthi wayesephinde wahlangana nowayengumlingani wakhe futhi wayethandana naye, kanti empeleni, owesifazane ayemfuna wayengumuntu ayemthanda esikoleni samabanga aphezulu nokuthi ukusesha kwakungeyona into engaphezu kwemithombo yezokuxhumana engenangozi elandela wonke umuntu ngezikhathi ezithile. Kodwa wenqaba ukumkholwa. Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi kuqhubeke, ubudlelwano babo bashintsha kakhulu. Wamphatha njengomyeni okhohlisayo, ngisho noma kungekho bufakazi obuphathekayo bokusekela lokho kusola, futhi waziphatha njengomfazi olahlekile.

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Ukuhlukumezeka ngenxa yokumangalelwa ngamanga kwamshintsha kakhulu uRob kangangokuthi waze wazihlukanisa nabangane bakhe nabathandekayo, wanciphisa ukuphila kwakhe emsebenzini nasekhaya. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukucasuka kanye nentukuthelo kwakhula kangangokuthi uRob wagcina enqume ukwehlukana nomkakhe futhi okwamanje usebenza ngamanxeba akhe angokomzwelo ekwelapheni.

Echaza ukuthi kungani lokhu kwenzeka futhi echaza ngemiphumela engokwengqondo yokumangalelana okungamanga ebuhlotsheni, uDkt. Batra uthi, “Umjikelezo wokumangalelana ungase ube nonya.Ukungazethembi okuncane kungenza ummangaleli asole umlingani wakhe.Lokhu kungenza ummangalelwa athukuthele, akhungatheke, noma acasuke, futhi uma bethatheka futhi besengozini - bangase bazizwe benecala, okungenani bangase bazizwe benecala. Ukungavikeleki kuzodalulwa okwesikhashana. Kodwa maduze nje, indebe izobe ingenalutho futhi.

"Ummangaleli uzoqhubeka edinga ukuqinisekiswa nokuxolisa okwengeziwe. Ngakho-ke, ngenkathi ummangaleli eqhubeka ekhuluma, umuntu osolwayo uqala ukuphelelwa ukuzethemba, ngokwandayo, okwenza ubuhlobo bungabi nalutho." Ungabona ukuthi imithelela engokwengqondo yokumangalelwa ngamanga ebudlelwaneni ingaba yingozi kangakanani. Nakhu ukuthi bangabhidliza kanjani amabhondi aqine kakhulu:

1. Ukukhaphela nokungathembani

Ubuhlungu obubangelwa ukumangalelwa ngamanga bungaba yindawo yokungathembani kanye nomuzwa wokukhashelwa ebudlelwaneni . Umsolwa angase azizwe ekhashelwe futhi elimele ukuthi umlingani wakhe angammangalela ngamanga amakhulu kangaka. Lokhu kungaholela ekuphelelweni kokuthembana ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kungaholela nasekufihlweni kwemfihlo ebudlelwaneni. Umlingane omangalelwayo angase angasazizwa ekhululekile ukwabelana ngezinto asola ukuthi zingambangela izinsolo.

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2. Ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka

Ukumangalelwa ngamanga kungabangela ukukhathazeka nokucindezeleka komsolwa futhi kungenza umuntu othintekayo ahambe phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda eduze komlingani wakhe futhi ubuhlobo bungaba yingozi kuye. Esinye sezibonakaliso eziqeda amandla kakhulu zokumangalelwa ngamanga ukungakwazi ukuphumula eduze komlingani wakho. “Uhlala ukhathazeka ngokuthi bazokubeka icala ngento ongayenzanga, okwenza kube nzima ngawe ukulala, ukugxila emsebenzini, noma ukuqhubeka nokuphila kwakho,” kusho uDkt. Batra.

3. Icala namahloni

Ngisho noma ummangalelwa engenacala, angase azizwe enecala futhi enamahloni ngokwenza umlingani wakhe azizwe kabi futhi sengathi abamethembi. Leli cala elibekwe endaweni engafanele lingabashiya bezizwe bekhungathekile kuyilapho lithinta nokuzethemba kwabo. Lokhu kungaholela ekuhlukumezekeni kobudlelwane. Bangase bazizwe sengathi abakufanelekele ukuba sebudlelwaneni noma ukuthandwa.

4. Ukuwohloka kobudlelwane

Uma ukuthambekela kokulinganisa ukumangalela okungamanga kungalungiswa, kungabangela umonakalo ongalungiseki ebudlelwaneni. UDkt. Batra uthi: “Ummangalelwa angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi ngeke akwazi ukuqhubeka ethandana nomuntu ongamethembi, kanti ummangaleli angase abe nomuzwa wokuthi ngeke athandane nomuntu ambona njengomuntu ongathembekile.

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5. Ukulwa njalo

Ukumangalelwa ngamanga ebudlelwaneni kungaholela ezimpini ezingapheli ezingathinta kabi ubuhlobo bakho. Njengoba sekuvele kukhona ukuwohloka kokuthembana, ukuxazulula izingxabano kungabonakala kungenakwenzeka, okwenza kube nzima ngombhangqwana ukusindisa isibopho sabo.

6. Ukucasuka 

Ubuhlungu obubangelwa ukusolwa ngamanga ngumlingani wakho bungakwenza ube nomunyu omkhulu ngaye. “Uyazi ukuthi ubufanele ukuphathwa kangcono futhi ukwehluleka komlingani wakho ukubona lokho kungavula indlela yokucasuka ebudlelwaneni ,” kusho uDkt. Batra. Njengoba le mizwa iqhubeka, ingakushiya uzizwa ukhungathekile futhi idlule uthando oluzwayo ngomlingani wakho. Umphumela? Izingxabano ezimbi kanye nokulwa okuholela ekutheni nithulane izinsuku noma ngisho namasonto.

7. Ibanga elingokomzwelo 

Lapho umlingani wakho ekusola ngokungalungile ngokuziphatha okungenampilo ebuhlotsheni, uqala ukuhoxa kumlingani wakho kancane kancane. Ungase ungabe usabathululela isifuba, ukhulume kancane, futhi uqale ukugwema ukuchitha isikhathi nabo. UDkt. Batra uthi: “Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kubangela ukuqhelelana ngokomzwelo futhi uzizwe unesizungu. Uma kuqhubeka kungahloliwe, ungase uqale nokuba nemicabango mayelana nokuqeda ubuhlobo.

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8. Ukuzithanda nokudideka

Uma umuntu omthandayo ngokujulile futhi omethembayo eqala ukukusola ngento ethile, ungase ume uzibuze ukuthi ngabe wenze noma usho okuthile okubangele ukusabela okunjalo, okungenani ekuqaleni. Ngisho noma uqiniseka ukuthi lokho okushiwo umlingani wakho akulona iqiniso futhi akunasisekelo, ukuzethemba kwakhe nokuqiniseka kungakwenza uzibuze, “Ingabe ngenze into engalungile? Ingabe ngikhumbula izinto ngendlela engalungile? Kuthiwani uma ngenze into engahlosile eyenza umlingani wami azizwe ngale ndlela?” “Lolu uhlobo lokwehliswa kwesithunzi ebudlelwaneni ,” kusho uDkt. Batra.

9. Ukuzizwa ungaphephile ebudlelwaneni bakho 

Omunye wemiphumela elimaza kakhulu yengqondo yokusolwa ngamanga ebudlelwaneni ukuthi uqala ukuzizwa ungaphephile lapho useduze nomlingani wakho. Ubudlelwano kufanele bube yindawo ephephile lapho ungaba khona ngempela. Kodwa-ke, uma umlingani wakho ekwenze umkhuba ukukusola ngokungafanele ngezinto ongazenzanga, lo muzwa wokuphepha uqala ukunyamalala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ukusolwa kuhambisana nokuziphatha okunobuthi njengokumemeza, ukubiza amagama , noma ukuphula izinto.

Indlela Yokusingatha Ukumangalelwa Kwamanga Ebudlelwaneni?

Ukusingatha ukusola okungelona iqiniso ebudlelwaneni kungaba inselele, kodwa kubalulekile ukubhekana nenkinga ukuze ugweme ukuthi ungalikhiphi ibhondi yakho. Uyazibuza ukuthi wenzeni uma umuntu ekumangalela ngamanga? UDkt. Batra uncoma lezi zinyathelo ezilandelayo:

1. Zola

Uma umlingani wakho ekusola ngento ethile ngokungafanele, zama ukuphendula ngokuthula futhi ugweme ukuzivikela noma ukuthukuthela. Ukuzama ukulawula intukuthelo yakho kungaba nzima, kodwa thatha umoya ojulile futhi ugxile ekukhulumisaneni ngenhlonipho nangokwakhayo.

• Khuluma nomlingani wakho. Kungase kukusize uthole ukuthi kungani benza, ukuthi benzani
• Hlonipha umlingani wakho. Lokhu kungase kubasize baqonde ukuthi banephutha ngawe
• Kungokwemvelo ukusabela ezinsolweni ezingamanga kodwa zama ukwenza kanjalo ngendlela ezolile. Intukuthelo ingenza isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu

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2. Funa ukucaciseleka

Uyazibuza, yini okufanele uyenze lapho othile ekumangalela ngamanga? Funa incazelo kumlingani wakho. Cela izibonelo ezithile noma izimo lapho benomuzwa wokuthi wenze ngendlela ethile. Lokhu kuyokusiza ukuba uqonde izinto ezibakhathazayo futhi ubhekane nazo ngokuphumelelayo. Nansi indlela ongabhekana ngayo nalokhu:

• Zinike isikhathi sokuhlala nomlingani wakho nixoxe
• Balalele
• Funa ukucaciseleka ngawe
• Babuze ukuthi ngabe kukhona yini isenzo sakho esike sabalimaza esikhathini esidlule, noma ngabe kunjalo engajabule ebudlelwaneni, noma uma bengathandi/bengavumelani nanoma yisiphi isici sendlela oziphatha ngayo ebudlelwaneni

I-3. Zinakekele

Lapho uhlushwa ukuhlukumezeka ngenxa yokumangalelwa ngamanga, ungase uzithole ukhandlekile ngokomzwelo futhi ucindezelekile. Zinakekele ngokuzibandakanya emisebenzini yokuzinakekela, ukufuna ukwesekwa kubangani nomndeni, nokugcina impilo enempilo. Nazi ezinye izenzo zokuzinakekela ongazithatha:

• Sebenzisa isikhathi sakho emisebenzini ekhiqizayo futhi uzigcine umatasatasa
• Zama ukuzindla kanye ne-yoga ukuze uzibeke phakathi futhi uzikhiphe ebubini
• Xhumana nabangane nomndeni, ukusekela kwabo kungakusiza ukuthi udlule ezikhathini ezinzima

4. Nikeza ubufakazi

Uma kunobufakazi bokuthi ukumangalelwa kungamanga, kuveze kumlingani wakho. Lokhu kungasiza ekuqedeni noma yikuphi ukungabaza noma ukukhathazeka okungenzeka babe nakho futhi kuqinise udaba lwakho. Uma umlingani wakho ezivikela, kungcono ukuziqhelelanisa naye isikhathi esithile. Phinda uvakashele ingxoxo lapho ezolile.

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5. Beka imingcele

Uzibuza ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma othile ekusola ngamanga? Beka imingcele ecacile neqinile ebudlelwaneni bakho . Khuluma ngobumfihlo, ukucaca, isikhala somuntu siqu, kanye nokuxhumana, futhi uveze ngokucacile ukuthi yini eyamukelekayo nengamukeleki. Isibonelo, uma umlingani wakho ekusola ngokuphindaphindiwe ngokukopela futhi ehlola ifoni yakho ngobuqili ubufakazi bokweqa kwakho umthetho futhi ukuthole kulimaza noma kungahloniphi, yazisa umlingani wakho ukuthi akufanele afinyelele ifoni yakho ngasese.

6. Cabangela ukwelulekwa

Ungazama ezinye izivivinyo zokwelapha imibhangqwana ekhaya, futhi uma izinsolo ezingamanga ziqhubeka, cabanga ngokufuna usizo lomeluleki ochwepheshe noma uchwepheshe wezokwelapha ubudlelwano. Bangakunikeza indawo ephephile nengathathi hlangothi ukuze wena nomlingani wakho nibhekane nezinkinga eziyisisekelo futhi nithuthukise ukuxhumana kwenu nokwethembana. UDkt. Batra uphinde asikisele ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kumlingani ongazethembi ukuze akhe ukuzethemba kwakhe kanye nokuzizwa kwakhe, okungase, kubhekane nokuthambekela kokubeka izinsolo ezingenasisekelo. Uma ucabanga ukufuna usizo, ungathola izinsizakalo zokweluleka zeBonobology usekhaya lakho.

7. Beka kuqala ukuzigcina kwakho

Uma naphezu kwemizamo yakho emihle kakhulu, umlingani wakho eqhubeka nokukusola okungenasisekelo, kungadingeka ukuthi uzibeke phambili ekuzivikeleni. Kungadingeka ubeke imingcele bese uyisebenzisa noma ucabangele ukuqeda ubuhlobo. Khumbula, ufanele ukuphathwa ngenhlonipho nangomusa, futhi akufanele ubekezelele noma yikuphi ukuphathwa kabi egameni lothando. Uma kuqala ukukukhathaza, mhlawumbe sekuyisikhathi sokuphuma ebudlelwaneni obukhathazayo ngokomzwelo.

Ekhuluma ngendlela yokusingatha ukumangalelwa okungamanga ebudlelwaneni, uDkt. Batra uthe, "Umlingani osolwayo kufanele axhumane namaqiniso. Kufanele akhulume ngokukhululekile, akhulume ngokugomela, futhi aqinisekise umlingani wakhe. Uma umlingani omangalayo engenazwelo kakhulu futhi engavikelekile futhi eqhubeka nokwenza kanjalo, kufanele kufunwe usizo lochwepheshe."

Umsebenzisi ku -Reddit uthi wahlukana nentombi yakhe yeminyaka emibili ngoba yayilokhu imsola ngokukopela. Lo msebenzisi uthe wazama ukufakazela ukwethembeka kwakhe futhi wakhuluma nentombi yakhe kodwa akukho okwakubalulekile kuye. Ekugcineni, ukuhamba ebudlelwaneni kwakuyindlela yakhe kuphela. Njengoba ubona, ukumangalelwa ngamanga njalo kungaholela ebudlelwaneni esiphethweni esibi. Ngakho-ke, uma umangalelwa ngamanga ngumlingani wakho, ungayinaki inkinga. Ungathola indlela yokuphuma kulokhu uma nje nobabili nizimisele ukusebenzela ukuthola ikhambi.

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