Kia pēhea te roa o te pumau o ngā whanaungatanga noa?

Kia pēhea te roa o ngā whanaungatanga noa? I whakaaro ahau mō tēnei mea i waenganui tonu o taku whanaungatanga noa tuatahi. Ko taku i mōhio ai he pai ki ahau te noho tahi me ia, ā, i whakaae noa ahau. I roto ia i te akomanga kotahi māua. I tīmata māua ki te kōrero, ā, i āta haere, ka huri hei whanaungatanga moepuku. I whakamārama ia he noa iho ā māua whanaungatanga engari i muri i tētahi wā, ka uaua haere ngā mea. Ā, i taua wā ka whakaaro ahau, "Kia pēhea te roa o ngā whanaungatanga noa? He aha ngā mea e whakaaetia ana kia aroha ahau ki a ia? He aha ngā ture?"

He rerekē te mahi a te aroha me ngā whanaungatanga mō te hunga rangatahi o te rautau 20 me te reanga Z. Ae, he maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine tino pai e aroha nui ana tetahi ki tetahi, ā, ka whakarihariha pea (engari he pai te āhua), engari kua noho hei momo rongonui ngā whanaungatanga noa i ēnei rā, ā, kei konei mātou hei whakamārama i aua mea māu!

He aha te whanaungatanga tūao? 

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te tautuhi i tētahi whanaungatanga noa. Tērā pea he takahanga noa iho. Tērā pea he te whanaungatanga hoa-me-ngā-painga. He whanaungatanga roa pea (kāore he mea miharo! Kei reira tonu). He hononga noa iho rānei. Ko te pūtake o te whanaungatanga, he rerekē te whanaungatanga tuku iho, motuhake, pumau. Ko ngā whanaungatanga noa, ka taea e koe te moe tahi me tō hoa, me te pupuri tonu i te whanaungatanga māmā me te kore e hiahia ki te piripono roa. 

He maha ngā momo whanaungatanga tūao. He hononga ā-ira, arā, he moe tāne, he moe wahine, kāore he herenga. He hononga ā-ira, arā, he hoa-whai-painga, ka moe tāne koe me tētahi hoa, kāore he herenga aroha. Ko te moe pō kotahi, ko te moe tāne me tētahi tauhou (he hoa/hoa mōhio rānei i ētahi wā), ā, kāore e taea te mahi anō. Ā, ko te whakaaro anō mō ​​ngā waeatanga me ngā hoa moe tāne, ka moe tāne tonu koe me tētahi, kāore he ahotea tāpiri o te herenga me te whanaungatanga piripono.

Te pānui e pā ana: I moe tahi māua ko tētahi hoa mahi mō te pō kotahi, engari he rerekē ia, ā, e kore e ngaro.

He aha te mea hei tumanako atu māu i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga noa? 

E kitea ana he mea noa ngā whanaungatanga tūao. E ai ki te 18.6% o ngā ākonga tāne o te kāreti me te 7.4% o ngā ākonga wahine o te kāreti i kōrero mō te moe tāne i te marama i mua i te rangahau. Ko te Journal of Sex ResearchE ai ki ngā rangahau i arotakehia e ngā hoa mō te kaupapa kotahi, 82% o ngā tāne me te 57% o ngā wāhine i whakapuaki i te whakawhetai mō te whai hononga noa, te wheako moepuku rānei, e ai ki tēnei tuhinga nā te American Psychological Association. I te nuinga o te wā ka huri hei hononga whakaipoipo noa ina noho noa ēnei tūtakitanga ki te tangata kotahi, ā, ka uru atu kōrua ki ngā mahi kore-ira.

Heoi, ki te mea ko tō wā tuatahi tēnei ki tētahi āhuatanga pēnei, ā, kāore koe i te tino mōhio he aha te mea ka tumanakohia i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga tūao, me maumahara koe ki ētahi mea:

• Kia whai tumanakohanga ponoKaua e tumanako ki tētahi mea nui atu i tā te tangata kē e pai ana ki te hoatu. Ki te uru koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga noa e rapu ana i te whakapau kaha, tera pea ka pouri koe.
• Kia marama: Kia mōhio kōrua ki ngā painga o te whanaungatanga ki a kōrua tokorua
• Tautuhia ngā ture: Whakatauhia mēnā he hononga tuwhera mēnā rānei e hiahia ana koe kia kotahi te wahine
• Kia mau te hae: Ki te hiahia koe kia noho noa iho ngā mea me tētahi tangata, kaua e ngana ki te kī he mea motuhake tāu e pā ana ki a ia.
• Whakatauhia te auau me te momo whakapā: Ka kotahi i te wiki, neke atu rānei? Ka tūtaki anō kōrua i tua atu i te hononga tahi? He aha ngā mahi ka taea e kōrua te mahi tahi?

Ki te hiahia koe ki te whakaipoipo noa i tētahi tāne, tera pea koe e whakaaro: He aha ngā tāne e hiahia ana ki ngā whanaungatanga noa? He āwhina ngā whanaungatanga noa ki te pupuri i te tawhiti o ngā kare ā-roto me te ngahau hoki. Ā, koinei tonu te take e hiahia ana ētahi tāne ki ēnei.

Engari ka ara ake anō hoki ngā pātai pēnei i te: Kia pēhea te roa o ngā whanaungatanga noa? Ka huri rānei ngā whanaungatanga noa ki te mea nui? He aha taku e tumanako ai i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga noa? Koinei te mea ka kōrerohia e tātou i te wāhanga e whai ake nei o tēnei tuhinga.

Kia pēhea te roa o te pumau o ngā whanaungatanga noa?  

Ka taea e te whanaungatanga noa te huri hei whanaungatanga nui, ka taea hoki te waiho hei tetahi o ngā mea tino uaua ngā wāhanga tuatahi o te whanaungatanga, ka memeha noa iho rānei, kāore he whakamārama. Engari he maha ngā take e uru ai te tangata ki ngā whanaungatanga noa, ā, he whakaaro takitahi anō hoki, ā, ka whakapērā i te whakautu ki te pātai: Kia pēhea te roa o te pumau o ngā whanaungatanga noa?

I whakaatuhia i roto i tētahi rangahau i te tau 2013 mō ngā whanaungatanga tūao, ko ngā pakeke hou, i waenga i te 18 ki te 29 tau te pakeke, ka uru atu ki ngā whanaungatanga tūao. Nā te mea he wā nui tēnei mō te whakawhanaketanga o ngā here aroha, koinei te wā e uru ai te tangata ki ngā hononga, ki ngā whakawhitinga hoa, ki ngā moe tahi mō te pō kotahi, me ngā whanaungatanga tūao kore here me ngā hoa, ngā hoa mōhio, ngā tāngata tauhou rānei. 

"He rārangi hononga tonu tōku ao kāreti. He wā kāore au i hiahia ki te arotahi ki tētahi herenga nui, kāore hoki au i hiahia ki te arotahi. Ko taku hiahia anake he ngahau. Ā, i pērā tonu! Kāore au i mutu ki te pātai ki a au anō, kia pēhea te roa o ngā whanaungatanga noa? Nā te mea i ngā wā katoa ka mutu tētahi whanaungatanga, kua uru atu ahau ki tētahi atu. Ki taku whakaaro ko te roanga o te wā ka taea anake te whakatau e te hunga e whai wāhi ana, kāore he tangata kē atu," te kī a Helena, tētahi o ā mātou kaipānui nō Chicago. 

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Ka huri rānei ngā whanaungatanga noa hei whanaungatanga whai hua? 

Ae, ka taea tēnei te tupu ahakoa ehara tēnā i te whāinga taketake o tētahi o ngā rōpū. Ko ētahi o ngā take e huri ai ngā whanaungatanga noa ki te mea nui ko:

• Tērā pea ka hinga tetahi ki tetahi, ka hinga rānei rāua tetahi ki tetahi
• Ki te uru koe ki tētahi whanaungatanga noa nā te mea he take kare ā-roto (pērā i muri i te wehenga, i te matenga rānei), tera pea ka huri te hononga mai i tētahi whanaungatanga noa mō te wā roa ki tētahi whanaungatanga pumau.
• Ki te mea kei roto koe i tētahi āhuatanga, tērā pea ka tīmata koe ki te kite i tētahi mea i te mutunga ngā tohu kei te kaha haere te whanaungatanga tūao

Anei me pēhea te tautuhi i ngā tohu o te whanaungatanga noa e huri ana ki te whanaungatanga nui:

• Te mātakitaki i te whanaungatanga nui atu i tō hiahia
• Te whakapau i te wā roa atu ki te noho tahi
• Te pāngia o te hinengaro e ā rātou kōrero, e ā rātou mahi rānei
• He uaua ki te neke atu i te whanaungatanga

Te pānui e pā ana: Kia pēhea te roa e tika ai kia whakaipoipo noa koe i tētahi – Tirohanga a te Tohunga

I ngā wā pēnei, ka uaua te whakautu "Kia pēhea te roa o ngā whanaungatanga noa?". E kī ana a Annabelle, he kaiako yoga 28-tau te pakeke, "E rima marama māua ko Dora e whakaipoipo noa ana, ā, kua tino aroha ahau ki a ia. Kāore te aroha i roto i tā māua whakaaetanga tuatahi, nō reira i pātai atu ahau ki aku hoa: Me pēhea mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga noa nā te mea kei te hiahia koe ki tētahi atu? I kī mai rātou kia whaki ahau i ōku kare ā-roto i mua i taku mahi i tetahi mea. E harikoa ana ahau i whai ahau i ā rātou tohutohu; i whakanuia e māua ko Dora tō māua huritau ono-marama i te marama kua hipa!" Nō reira, he mahi mohio te aromatawai i te whanaungatanga i ia huringa kia kotahi ai te whakaaro o kōrua.

E ai ki tētahi rangahau kei Chicago, he rite tonu te angitu o ngā hononga noa ki te huri hei whanaungatanga roa, ki ngā whanaungatanga puhoi hoki. Kāore te aroha pono e hiahia ana ki te huarahi āta haere. I ētahi wā, ko te hunga e tīmata ana ki te moepuku ka taea te ahu whakamua ki te whai whanaungatanga hohonu ake, whai hua hoki. Ko te whakautu ki te pātai "Ka huri ngā whanaungatanga noa ki te mea nui?" kei roto i ngā ringa o te tangata takitahi anake.

Me pēhea te whakatū i tētahi whanaungatanga ngāwari, me te kore e whara?

Whakapono mai, ahakoa te ahua ngahau o ngā whanaungatanga noa, ko te mea pono he mahi me ngā ture. Mā te whai i tētahi huinga ture motuhake ka noho noa te noho tahi me te tāne, te kōtiro rānei. ngā momo whanaungatanga tūao, E whakamanamana ana ngā whanaungatanga roa mō te wā roa ki te whai pukapuka ture. Whakaarohia Ki ngā tama katoa i arohaina e au i mua, engari ko te wāhanga whakaipoipo rūpahu. 

Heoi, ki te mea kei te rapu koe i tētahi pukapuka ture mō te 'me pēhea te whai i tētahi whanaungatanga noa me te kore e whara', kei a mātou tāu. 

1. Kia mārama te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero ki tō hoa rangatira

Mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero mārama ka āwhina i a koe ki te karo i ngā āhuatanga pēnei i ngā kare ā-roto kāore i utua, te teka, me ētahi atu. Ina ko koe me tō hoa kei te noho haumaru te hoa mahi kia pai ake ai te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, kāore koe e manukanuka ki ngā pātai pēnei i te: Kia pēhea te roa o ngā whanaungatanga noa? Nāu e hanga ngā ture mō tēnā.

2. Whakaarohia mēnā ka taea e koe te kite i a rātou me tētahi atu tangata

Ā, ki te kore e taea e koe, kaua e mahi! He aha ō whakaaro mēnā ka tūtaki koe ki a rātou me tētahi atu i a koe e hikoi ana? Kāore rātou e mahi he ana nā te mea kāore rātou i oati ki a koe. He māmā noa iho, ko te tikanga o te noho noa, kāore he here.

"He tangata hae ahau," te kī a Demi, he tauira hinengaro 22-tau te pakeke. "I te tīmatanga o tā māua hononga ko Hunter, kāore au i tino mōhio ki te kino o taku hae. Ko te kitenga i a ia e noho tahi ana me ētahi atu kōtiro i mura ai tōku ngākau, ā, i kitea i roto i aku whanonga ki a ia. I whakaaro ahau ka taea e au te noho noa me tētahi tāne engari kāore e taea e au." Ki te rite koe ki a Demi, me tatari pea mō te tangata tika.

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3. Ka taea e koe te whakahaere i tēnei me te kore e taka ki a rātou?

Ā, mehemea kei te hiahia koe ki te whakamutu i tētahi whanaungatanga noa nā te mea kei te hiahia koe ki tētahi atu? Ae, ka taea tēnā. Ka puta he roimata i tēnei momo whakaritenga mena he tangata koe e tere piri ana, e ka tere te hopu i ngā kare ā-roto i muri i te hononga.

Ko te mōhio ki a koe anō te ture tuatahi mō te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga noa me te kore e whara. Me whai i tēnei mēnā e whakapono ana koe ka taea e koe te whakahaere, ā, mēnā e mōhio ana koe kāore he pānga o ngā kare ā-roto aroha. Me tino tūpato ki te whakatata atu mēnā kāore koe i te tino mōhio.

4. Kaua e whakaranu i ō porowhita hoa

Kia wehea ngā mea katoa, kaua rawa e whakauru i tēnei tangata ki tō rōpū hoa. Ina mutu ngā mea katoa, ka raru tonu, ka uaua hoki mēnā he hoa tō kōrua. Ka taea e koe te ārai i tēnei tangata kei noho hei wāhanga nui o tō ao mā te whai i tētahi atu huarahi mōu ake, pērā i tō porowhita hoa.

"He hoa māua ko Trina, ko Michael, ko Lexi mai anō i te kōhanga reo," te kōrero a Alicia, he tauira whare wānanga 19-tau te pakeke. "I te tīmatanga o tētahi āhuatanga FWB a Michael rāua ko Lexi i te kura tuarua, kāore rāua i kōrero ki tētahi. I te tau tuawhā o te kura tuarua, ka wehe rāua, ā, kua riro tā mātou rōpū. Kāore au i kite i a Michael mō ngā marama maha nā te āhua o ngā kare ā-roto o Lexi. He tino kino."

5. Kia mōhio ki ō rohe, ā, haere atu mēnā ka pā mai ō kare ā-roto

Kia mohio ahea ki waiho he whanaungatanga kino Kia pono ki a koe anō mō ​​tēnei mea. He pai te tīmatanga o te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga noa. Kātahi ka mutu te kaha, ka wehe atu rānei tētahi nā te mea ka tīmata te aroha ki tētahi atu. Kāore i te maha ngā wā ka whanake te whanaungatanga noa hei aroha roa. Ahakoa ehara i te mea kāore e taea, he tino mōrearea te pupuri tonu i taua whakaaro. Me mahi he pai ki a koe anō, ka mutu i a koe e anga whakamua ana mēnā ka tīmata koe ki te rongo i te mirumiru kare ā-roto.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Wehe i tētahi Hononga - Me pēhea koe e mōhio ai kua tae ki te wā?

Āe, koinei! Ahakoa kāore he whakautu motuhake mō te pātai "Kia pēhea te roa o te pumau o ngā whanaungatanga noa?", ko te pupuri i ngā mea kia mārama ki a kōrua ko tō hoa i mua i te tīmatanga o tētahi ko te huarahi haumaru rawa atu. He tino ngahau ngā whanaungatanga noa mena ka whai koe i ngā ture i whakatakotoria e koe mō tō whanaungatanga. Koinei anake te huarahi hei ārai i tō ngākau kia kore e pakaru.

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