9 Ngā Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga hei Whakaae i te Marena i te Ara Tika

Me he mea e toru ngā kaupapa matua e tautoko ana i te angitu o te marena, ko te manaaki, ko te whakaae tahi, me… ngā wharepaku motuhake. O ēnei, ko te whakaae tahi i roto i te marena te mea tino tautohetia nā te mea he maha ngā wā ka uru atu ki te tūtaki ki tō hoa rangatira i waenganui, ki te whakarērea rānei tetahi wāhanga o tāu e hiahia ana.

Nā, ka taea e koe te whiti i ō ringa, te pōuri me te kī, "Ehara te marena i te mea he whakaae tahi." Engari i roto i te pono, ko te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga, ahakoa he marena, he kore rānei, e whakawhirinaki ana ki te whārite hoatu-me-tango, kaua ki te tuku i ngā mea katoa e tetahi, ā, ko tetahi e whiwhi tonu ana i tā rātou e pai ai.

He hapa anō hoki tō te whakaae tahi i roto i te marena. "Ko wai kei te hoatu nui atu?" "He taurite tino pai te whakaae tahi i ngā wā katoa?" "Me pēhea e taea ai e koe te karo i te ariā whakaae tahi ira tangata?" He pātai katoa ēnei ka ara ake i roto i tō mahunga.

Hei rapu māramatanga mō te kaupapa o ngā whakaaetanga me ngā patunga tapu o te marena, i kōrero mātou ki Shazia Saleem (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro). He tohunga ia ki te kaunihera mo te wehenga me te whakarere, ā, i tuku mai i ētahi tirohanga mo te hiranga o te whakaae tahi i roto i te marena me te pehea ki te mahi tika, i te nuinga o te wā.

He aha te hiranga o te whakaae tahi i roto i te marena?

Hatia e mea ana, "He mea nui te whakaae pai kia ora tonu ai tetahi whanaungatanga. I roto i te marena, ina koa he nui ngā tumanakohanga, he mea nui kia mahara ko te 'tātou' me whakatairanga i te nuinga o te wā i runga ake i te whakapehapeha takitahi. Ina tūtaki ngā tāngata ahurei e rua, ka noho te marena hei tūāpapa mō rāua kia nui ake, kia pai ake, kia waiho hei whanaungatanga hei painga mō te tokorua."

I ētahi wā ka kitea te whakaae i roto i te marena hei kupu kino, e whakararuraru ana i ngā kōwhiringa me ngā hiahia o te tangata takitahi. Heoi, ka puta noa tēnei ina kotahi anake te taha e whakaae ana. Kāore tetahi o ēnei e āwhina i a koe ora i tētahi raruraru marenaKo te ngako o te whakaae tahi, me puta i ngā kokonga katoa o te whanaungatanga, o te marena rānei, kia angitu ai. Ki te kore he whakaae tahi i roto i te marena, ka mau kōrua i roto i tētahi āhuatanga kāore e taea te wikitoria, ā, ka pakeke rawa kōrua ki te mahi i tētahi nekehanga, i tētahi tohu rānei.

Nā, me pēhea te whakarite i te whanaungatanga tika? Me pēhea te hanga i tētahi marena e mōhio ana koe me pēhea te whakarite i te whanaungatanga me te wā e mau tonu ai ō āhuatanga ahurei (ngā mea e hanga ana i a koe hei tino ataahua)? Pānuihia kia kitea ai ngā kōrero.

9 Ngā Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga hei Whakaae i te Marena i te Ara Tika

Kua whakaūtia e mātou he mea nui te whakaae i roto i te marena. Nā, kia tirohia ake ētahi mahi hei mahi, kaua e tere te kī kāore te marena e pā ana ki te whakaae. Anei ētahi tohutohu mō te huarahi tika ki te whakaae i roto i te marena:

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1. Kia mārama ō hiahia

Ko tētahi o ngā tauira pai rawa atu o te whakaae ki te whanaungatanga, ko te whakaae me te whakapuaki i ō hiahia i roto i te huarahi hauora me te aroha. He hiahia anō tō tātou katoa i roto i te marena, ā, he maha ngā wā, e tumanako ana tātou kia noho tō tātou hoa hei kaipānui hinengaro, kia mōhio hoki ki ō tātou kare ā-roto me ā tātou e hiahia ana i tētahi wā.

Kia maumahara, he tangata tō hoa rangatira, pērā i a koe, nō reira, kāore e taea e ia te pānui i ō whakaaro, i ō whakaaro rānei. ngā matea kare ā-roto nui i roto i te whanaungatangaKaua hoki e wareware i a tātou e tipu ake ana, e whanake haere ana hoki hei takitahi, ka rerekē anō hoki ō tātou hiahia me ngā wawata e pā ana ki ngā mea e hiahiatia ana e tātou, e tumanakohia ana hoki e tātou i roto i te whanaungatanga me te marena.

Ka puta ngā whakataunga me ngā patunga tapu o te marena i roto i te huarahi hauora ina noho haumaru koe, ā, māia hoki ki te whakapuaki i ō hiahia ki tō hoa. Kōrero pono mō te huarahi e taea ai e rātou te whakanui ake i tō aroha. Ki te whakaaro koe me nui ake te wā e noho tahi ai kōrua, nga whakaaro o te po ra, kōrerotia ki a rātou. Ki te hiahia koe kia nui ake te wā mo koe anake, kōrerotia ki a rātou.

Kaua e kōrero i tēnei i roto i te āhua e whakahē ana i ngā mahi me ngā whakaaetanga kua mahia kētia e tō hoa. Hurihia hei kōrerorero e tūtaki ai kōrua i waenganui o te māharahara, e mihi ana ki tā rāua mahi, me te kōrero atu hoki ki a rāua he aha atu ā rāua mahi hei whakanui ake i te harikoa o te marena. Ā, kia mahara hoki ki te whai wā ki te whakarongo ki a rāua kōrero.

2. Kia whakaute i ngā rohe o tētahi ki tētahi

aroha ana tatou nga rohe whanaungatanga hauora ā, he pai ki te ako me pēhea te whakatakoto i aua here i runga i te aroha me te whakaute. Ina ngana ana koe ki te whakaae i roto i te marena, he mea nui ngā rohe ki te mōhio tetahi ki tetahi, me te mōhio hoki ki te wā e akiaki ai, me te wā e hoki whakamuri ai.

Ko tā Shazia tohutohu, "Kaua e tatari kia maroke te mangumangu i runga i tō tiwhikete marena kia mārama ai ngā rohe. I te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga, he maha ngā wā ka ngana te tangata ki te miharo tetahi ki tetahi, engari ka pāngia e ō rātou uara me ō rātou whakapono. Kātahi, ina kua marenatia rātou, kua piripono rānei ki tētahi whanaungatanga, ka puta he panoni ohorere, ā, ka tīmata rātou ki te pupuri kaha i ā rātou whakapono."

"Kia mārama ō rohe mai i te tīmatanga, kia mōhio tonu ai tō hoa ki tā rāua e mahi tahi ana me ngā whakaaetanga me mahi e rāua i te roanga o te whanaungatanga."

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He mea nui ngā rohe i roto i ngā whanaungatanga katoa, ā, he mea tino nui i roto i te whanaungatanga aroha, nā te mea ka tipu ake te nuinga o tātou me te whakapono kāore he mea e kore e tukua e koe mō te hoa rangatira, mō te hoa rangatira rānei. Ina whakaaroarohia te hiranga o te whakaae tahi i roto i te marena, me whakatū wawe tonu ngā rohe me te whakaute, me te mārama hoki.

3. Kia mārama ko tō hoa rangatira he tangata motuhake

Ae, e mōhio ana mātou ki ngā kōrero a ngā kiriata katoa. Ko te tikanga o te marena ko te tokorua ka kotahi. Ka taurite, ka mārama pai ngā hoa wairua pono tetahi ki tetahi, me ērā atu. Engari he kōrero hou māu. Ahakoa te nui o tō kōrua aroha tetahi ki tetahi, te tino taurite rānei, he tokorua motuhake tonu kōrua, he rerekē ngā tāngata i huihui mai, me te tumanako me ngā tumanakohanga whanaungatanga tūturuKei te mau tonu mai i a koe ētahi āhuatanga ahurei ki te marena. Ā, me whakaute, me whakanui hoki i tēnā.

"Ahakoa e aroha ana tātou tetahi ki tetahi ki ngā āhuatanga rerekē me ngā āhua rerekē o tetahi i te tīmatanga o te whanaungatanga, i te marena ka puta mai te hiahia ki te whakarerekē i tō hoa rangatira. Ka rerekē ngā tumanakohanga, ā, ka hiahia ohorere tātou kia uru tō tātou hoa rangatira ki te tūranga tāne, wahine rānei. I tēnei wā, he mea nui tonu kia maumahara me te whakaute i te takitahi o tetahi ki tetahi, me te whakaae tetahi ki tetahi hei tangata ahurei me te kore e ngana ki te whakarerekē i a rātou," te whakamārama a Shazia.

Ehara tēnei i te kī kāore koe e tika kia karanga i tō hoa rangatira mēnā he whanonga kino, he whanonga paitini rānei tā rātou. Hei tauira, mēnā kei te mahi tahi koe me tētahi tāne whakahihi, ehara mātou i te mea me mamae puku koe, ā, me tango atu. Engari he rerekē tēnā i te ngaro o tō hinengaro nā te mea kei te kohikohi tonu tō hoa rangatira i ngā tauira mahi Marvel, kei te pupuri rānei i ngā taputapu motopaika puta noa i te whare. Ko ēnei momo āhuatanga rerekē he wāhanga nō te tangata i arohaina e koe!

4. Whakarongo mai ina kōrero tō hoa rangatira, ahakoa kāore kōrua e whakaae

"He ture tā māua ko taku wahine ina tautohe māua. Ka whakaaro māua he tautohetohe wā-roa, ā, ka hoatu e māua he 3-5 meneti ki a māua hei whakatakoto i tā māua taha o te take. Pērā ai, ka taea e māua te kōrero, ā, me whakarongo māua ki tētahi ki tētahi. Ko te tikanga hoki, me whai whakaaro māua, kaua e hamama noa tetahi ki tētahi," te kī a Charlie, e kōrero ana mō te whanaketanga a ia me tana wahine i tētahi pūnaha whakaae whai hua i roto i tā rāua marena e whai hua ana ahakoa i roto i ētahi o ō rāua wā tino kino.

He mea nui te whakaae tahi i roto i te marena whakarongo pai ake i roto i tō whanaungatangaAhakoa i roto i ngā marena tino hauora, ka puta tonu ngā whakahē, engari ki te whawhai, ki te hamama te katoa, ā, kāore he tangata e whakarongo ana, kāore he whakaaetanga, nō reira, kāore he whakataunga mō ngā take. Kia mahara, he pai ki ahau te whawhai pai ki ahau anō, engari ka whakaae ahau he tino hoha ina hamama māua engari kāore he tangata e whakarongo ana.

"Whakaaetia kia kaua e whakahē," te tohutohu a Shazia, "He mea tino nui kia mārama ko te rerekētanga o ngā whakaaro he mea noa, he mea noa i waenganui i te tokorua. Engari kei a koe te tikanga mō te whakahaere i tēnei. Kōwhiria kia whakahaerea te rerekētanga me te whakahē i runga i te tikanga tika me te whakaute, ā, ka miharo koe ki te ngāwari ake o te kimi i te huarahi ōrite, kaua ki te pōuri me te whakaaro ehara te marena i te mea he whakaae."

5. Whakatauhia ō mea kāore e taea te whiriwhiri

Koinei pea taku akoranga whanaungatanga tino pai rawa atu o ngā wā katoa, nā te mea ka taea e au te keri hohonu me te kite i ngā mea e kiia ana e au he tino tapu. Me nui te wā e hiahiatia ana e taku hoa i waho, ko au ia me nui te wā ki te tūru me te pouaka whakaata/pānui pukapuka/pōkākā. He pai ki a māua te noho tahi, engari ko te āhua o tā māua whakapau i ō māua wā wātea he wāhanga nui o māua hei takitahi me te hoa.

Ka taea e au te pōuri ina haere ia ki te puni (e kino ana ahau ki te puni); ka taea e ia te pōuri ina whiriwhiria e au te noho ki te kāinga me ōku pajama, ka mātaki i te Twilight Saga mō ngā haora 10. Engari kāore e taea te whiriwhiri i tēnei wā nā te mea ka whakangāwari i a mātou, ka pai ake, ka marino ake, ka noho hoa rangatira hoki mātou. Kāore mātou e whakahē ana tetahi i tetahi, engari kei te tango noa i te wā mō mātou anō. Ā, he iti noa iho aroha-whaiaro he mea nui ki te whakapakari i ngā whanaungatanga aroha ki ētahi atu tāngata.

Kia oti i a koe te whakatakoto i ō mea kāore e taea te whiriwhiri, ka mārama ake, ka māmā ake hoki te tautuhi i ngā mea e pai ana koe ki te whakaae. Pērā ai, kāore koe e ohorere, e riri rānei mēnā e hiahia ana rātou kia tutuki i waenganui, kia ngāwari rānei i ētahi āhuatanga. Ka mōhio tō hoa ki tāu e tumanako atu ai i a koe, ā, pērā anō hoki.

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6. Whakamaherehia ngā hararei me te tika

Ahakoa te āhua motuhake o tēnei, kia manawanui mai. I roto i ō tātou oranga pukumahi rawa, nui rawa te mahi, he onge ngā rā hararei me ngā wiki e wātea ai kōrua, nō reira me aroha ki tēnei. He mea nui rawa ngā hararei tahi – ka whiwhi kōrua i ētahi wā, kāore he mea hei whakararuraru i a kōrua, pērā i ngā mahi o te whare me ētahi atu mahi. Tērā pea ka whakamahere koe i tētahi hararei poto mā kōrua anake, tawhiti atu i ngā tamariki.

Ahakoa rā, tera tonu ētahi mea e hiahia ana koe ki te mahi i te hararei, engari kāore pea tō hoa rangatira e hiahia ki te mahi. He āhuatanga tēnei e tika ana mō pakanga marena nā te mea ko te kaupapa matua o te hararei me rātou ko te whakapau wā tahi. He pai ki a māua ko taku hoa te haereere, engari me whai whakamarie ahau, arā, kāore au i te kite i te kaukau o waho he mea aroha.

Ko taku hiahia kia ara wawe ahau nā te mea he pai ki ahau ngā parakuihi hōtēra, ko ia ia e hiahia ana kia moe roa. Ko taku hiahia kia noho tata ki waenganui o te tāone nui, ko ia ia e hiahia ana kia noho puku i waenganui o te kore noa iho, me te taiao anake hei hoa noho.

Hei tauira mō te whakaae tahi i roto i te whanaungatanga, he iti rawa ngā rā ka tukua e au ia kia moe mō te roa e hiahia ana ia, ā, ka kopikopiko noa atu ahau, ka tūhura haere. Kāore i te tino rite. moe whakarere, engari e mahi ana. Ina ara ake ia, ka haere mai ia ki te taha o ahau ahakoa kei hea ahau. Ka whakamahara ahau ki a au anō ko tana hararei anō hoki tēnei, ā, he mea nui te moe ki a ia. Ka tukua ahau e ia ki te whiriwhiri i te wāhi e noho ai mātou, ā, kāore ia i tino pouri he whā ngā pakitara me te hauhautanga o te whare katoa. Kei te kite koe? He whakaae.

7. Kōrerohia te wā whānau

Mō te whānau, ehara i te mea ko te mea anake e hangaia ana e kōrua, engari mō ō kōrua mātua, tuākana/teina, me ngā mema whānau whānui e noho ana i roto i ō kōrua ao. I roto i te nuinga o ngā wā, ka tata atu pea tētahi o ngā hoa rangatira ki tōna whānau i tētahi atu, ā, ka kore pea e taea te whakaae tahi ina tae ki te wā e noho tahi ana rāua.

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"Kāore au i te tino tata ki ōku mātua engari he tata taku tāne ki āna," te kī a Jules, "He maha ngā wā i riri ai ahau ki te nui o te wā e noho tahi ana ia me rātou - i ia hararei nui, i ngā waeatanga me ngā pātai tonu - ehara i te mea pai ki ahau. He hunga atawhai, he hunga atawhai rātou, engari kāore au i te pai ki te hunga e aro nui ana ki aku mahi."

"He tino raruraru tēnei nā te mea i whakaaro ahau kāore he whakaaetanga i roto i te marena ina tae mai ki te whakatakoto i a rāua ki mua, me te whakarite kia kore he wāhi kōrero a tētahi atu i roto i ō māua oranga. I ētahi wā ka whakapae ahau i taku tāne mō te whakanui i tōna whānau ki runga ake i ahau, me te whakarongo nui ki ō rātou whakaaro. Engari i te mutunga, ka kōrerohia e māua te take, ā, kua whakaae māua ka whai wā ia ki te noho tahi me rātou i ngā wā katoa e hiahia ana ia, mena kāore ahau e uru atu."

He mea nui te whānau, engari he mea nui anō hoki te whakaae tahi i roto i te marena. Kia tupato kia kore he raruraru. ngā raruraru whakawhitiwhiti whanaungatanga i tēnei taha nā te mea he ahua pākiki, he āhua tiaki hoki tātou katoa i ō tātou whānau. Kōrerohia, whakarongo pai, ā, whakaaetia te raruraru.

8. Kōrerohia ngā pūtea

He maha ngā wā ka puta ake te take uaua o te pūtea ina kōrerohia ngā tauira o te whakaae tahi i roto i te marena. He maha ngā huarahi kua whakamatauria, kua pono hoki. ngā tohutohu mō ngā tokorua kua marenatia ki te wehewehe i ā rātou pūtea engari he mea whaiaro te pūtea whaiaro, nō reira he pai ake te noho tahi ki te whakaaroaro i ngā take e pā ana ki ngā tauira whakapaunga, me te hunga kei a rātou te mana whakahaere mō ngā take pūtea tahi.

Kia tuwhera te kōrero mō te hunga e whiwhi moni nui ake ana, te nui o tāu e whakapau ana, te nui o tāu e hiahia ana ki te whakapau, me te waihanga i tētahi tirohanga whānui mō tētahi ao pūtea ā muri ake nei. Ko ngā take pēnei i te hoko whare, te haere hararei, me ērā atu mea, ka taea te noho hei tautohetohe mēnā kāore kōrua i te rite ki te whakarongo tetahi ki tetahi, ki te whakaae tahi rānei.

Nō reira, kei hea te urunga mai o te whakaae tahi? Kia maumahara anō he rerekē te tirohanga a te tangata ki te moni i runga i te whakatipuranga, te mātauranga, te kaha ki te whiwhi moni, me ērā atu mea. Tērā pea he tangata whakapau moni nui tō hoa rangatira, he tangata pōuri rawa rānei, e mataku ana hoki kei kore e ranea te moni.

Tērā pea he rerekē rawa tō tirohanga pūtea, ā, tērā pea ka taka koe ki ngā pito rerekē o te whānuitanga ina tae ki te moni, ka kōrero pōhewa ki a koe anō "ehara te marena i te mea he whakaae tahi, ā, e hiahia ana ahau ki tētahi pouaka whakamātao hou he nui ake te utu i te whare". Pērā i te nuinga o ngā tukanga whakatau tautohe, tīmata ki rongoa korero me te whakarite hoki ki te tūtaki ki a rātou i waenganui.

9. Akohia ngā reo aroha o tētahi ki tētahi

He reo aroha tō te katoa. Tērā pea he kupu whakaū āu, ā, ko tā tō hoa he mahi āwhina. He ngāwari te whakaaro kāore tō hoa e aroha ana ki a koe pērā i te aroha e hiahiatia ana (ā, he tika tēnei, ā, me kōrero). Engari, ko tētahi o ngā tauira nui o te whakaae tahi i roto i te whanaungatanga ko te huarahi anō a te katoa ki te whakaatu i te aroha.

Te mōhio o tetahi ki tetahi reo aroha Ka puta mai i te noho tahi me te mātakitaki hohonu i tō hoa. Ko te whakaae kei te aroha tonu ia ki a koe, i runga i tā rātou ake ara pea, he whakaae noa iho i roto i te marena me te whakapakari i tō aroha i te wā kotahi. Kāore he huarahi kotahi hei whakaatu i te whakapau kaha, te aroha, te whakaute me ētahi atu, ā, ko te whakaae koinei pea tētahi o ngā mea tino whakaora ka mahia e koe mōu ake me tō whanaungatanga.

"He tangata pārekareka ahau ki ngā kare ā-roto, engari kāore taku hoa rangatira," te kī a Griffin. "He tino manukanuka hoki ahau, nō reira kei te whakaaro tonu ahau kāore tetahi e aroha ana ki ahau pērā i taku aroha ki a rātou. Ka noho noa ahau ki te kokonga hinengaro ka noho aroha ki ahau anō. He maha ngā tau o te whakaora me te wā e pau ana ki taku hoa rangatira kia mōhio ai kāore pea rātou i te tino tinana engari ka puta mai rātou ki ahau ina hiahiatia ana e au."

Ehara hoki i te mea kino te rapu āwhina ngaio mēnā kei te rapu koe i ngā huarahi pai ake mō te whakaae pai i roto i te marena. Mēnā kei te rapu koe i tētahi kaiwhakaora hinengaro hei whakamama i tō taumahatanga, ko Bonobology's rōpū tohunga he kaitohutohu he paato noa atu.

E whakanuia ana te marena hei kaupapa wawata, te huarahi pai rawa atu, te huarahi tapu rawa atu hoki hei whakaū i tō aroha me tō piripono tetahi ki tetahi. Ko te tikanga he nui ngā mea e pā ana ki tēnei whanaungatanga, ā, he ngāwari ki te ngaro tō tuakiri me te ngaro atu ki tō tūranga kua whakaritea i roto i te marena.

He pātai uaua te whakaae tahi i roto i te marena, me te kore whakaae tahi i roto i te marena, koia te take he mea nui te tito i tō ake ara waenga ahurei hei pupuri i te rangimārie o te hinengaro, hei whakarite hoki kia mau tonu te hauora me te pakari o tō marena. Arā, me whakaae tahi pea koe me pēhea te whakaae tahi i roto i tō marena.

"Whakaritea te kaupapa matua mōu ake me ōu hiahia i runga i te huarahi tika. Ka tīmata ngā mea katoa i a koe anō. Ki te kore e taea e koe te tiaki i a koe anō, kāore e taea e koe te tiaki i ētahi atu whanaungatanga. Ina tiakina te tiaki i a koe anō me te whakaute, e kore te tangata e ngaro te tuakiri," te kī a Shazia.

Kia maumahara, he motuhake ia marena, ā, kāore he huarahi kotahi hei mahi i ngā mea. Tērā pea he pakari ngā mahi me ngā ture o te marena, ā, ka waiho koe kia whakaaro, 'he here te marena?'. Engari, kāore he take e mau ai koe i roto i te porowhita mutunga kore o ngā whanonga kua whakaritea me ngā whanonga e tumanakohia ana.

Kia ngāwari ki a koutou anō, ki a koutou anō hoki, engari me kōrero anō hoki tetahi ki tetahi ina hiahiatia. He huarahi hei mārama i ō hiahia me ō wawata, me te kore e meinga tō hoa rangatira kia whakaaro kāore ia e eke ki ō wawata mō te hoa rangatira. Ehara i te mea ko te whakaae noa te tikanga o te whakarērea o ō wawata, engari he nekehanga ki te mārama he maha ngā huarahi hei noho tahi me te aroha ki tētahi atu tangata. Kia ora.

FAQs

Te Whakatau i te Hoha i roto i te Marena? 10 Ngā Huarahi Hei Whakakore i te Hoha

He pai te marena? Ngā mea ka riro i a koe, ngā mea ka ngaro i a koe

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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