E taea rānei te muru rawa i te hara o te tangata i tinihanga i a koe? Kua whakaaro kē koe he aha te āhua mēnā ka murua e kōrua te hara, ka neke atu – i a kōrua ake, i a kōrua ake rānei? Ehara i te mea ngāwari te muru i te hara o te tangata i tinihanga i a koe, engari he tokomaha te hunga e mahi ana i tēnei, ā, ka kitea e rātou tō rātou ake rangimārie.
Ka rerekē te uara e hoatu ana e koe ki te whanaungatanga i te wā tonu ka kitea e koe kua kotiti ke tō hoa. Ka pā te riri, te tinihanga, me te pouri ki a koe tae noa ki te wā ka pouri rawa koe. Tērā pea he rerekē te ariā o te murunga hara i muri i te tinihanga ina kei roto koe i tēnei āhua pouri.
Engari ko te murunga hara o tō hoa tinihanga ehara i te mea mō rātou, engari mō te pupuri i tō rangimarie o te hinengaro. Tērā pea he mea uaua ki te muru i te hara o tētahi i aroha nuitia e koe, ā, ka kitea kua tinihanga rātou i a koe. Tērā pea ka whakapae koe i a koe anō, ka pātai "I hea ahau i hē ai?", "Nāku rānei i whakapōrearea te whanaungatanga?".
I mua i tō whakakino i tō hinengaro me tō whakaaro nui ki a koe anō, kia mahara he kōwhiringa te puremu, ā, i whiriwhiri tō hoa ki te tinihanga i a koe. Ahakoa ngā raruraru i puta i roto i tō whanaungatanga, me pēhea te whakatau i tēnā mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero me/ranei mā te tohutohu a te tokorua. Kāore e taea te tinihanga te whakatau i tētahi otinga. Ko te mea nui, kāore e taea e tetahi te akiaki i tetahi ki te puremu.
I taua wā anō, nāu anake te whakatau ki te muru i te hara o te tangata nāna koe i tinihanga, ā, kaua e whai mana o waho. Ki te whiriwhiri koe ki te noho tonu i roto i te whanaungatanga, ko te muru i te hara o tō hoa tinihanga he taahiraa nui pea kia ora ai koe i te tinihanga, ehara i te mea he mana motuhake. Kotahi noa te pātai e pā ana ki tēnei: Me pēhea te muru i te hara o te tangata mō te tinihanga?
Hei whakamārama me pēhea te muru i te hara o te tangata tinihanga, me te noho tahi, me te whakautu "He aha te tangata ka tinihanga ai?", i kōrero mātou ki te kaiako whanaungatanga me te whanaungatanga piripono, a Utkarsh Khurana (MA Clinical Psychology, Ph.D. Scholar), he kaiako manuhiri i te Whare Wānanga o Amity, ā, he tohunga ia ki ngā take manukanuka, ngā whakapono kino, me te takitahi i roto i te whanaungatanga, hei tauira noa iho.
8 Ngā Hipanga hei Murua Katoatia te Tangata i Tinihanga ki a Koe
Ripanga o Ihirangi
He roa te wā e murua ai te hara o tētahi hoa rangatira, o tētahi hoa rānei e tinihanga ana; kāore e puta mai te murunga hara i roto i te rā kotahi. Ina pāngia tētahi whanaungatanga e te whiu o te kore whakapono, he mea koretake te tumanako ka taea e koe te whakarērea noa, ka neke atu me te mea kāore he mea i tupu. He pono, ka taea e te tinihanga te whakarerekē i te āhua o tō whanaungatanga i roto i ngā huarahi maha, ahakoa ka whiriwhiri koe ki te noho tahi.
E mea ana a Ariana (ingoa kua hurihia), i pāngia e ngā āhuatanga whakatūpato o te tangata tinihanga raupapa i roto i tana tāne, "He uaua te muru i te hara o te tangata i tinihanga i a koe. Kei te kōrero atu ahau i tēnei mai i aku ake wheako nā te mea he maha ngā wā kua tinihanga taku tāne i ahau. I te wā tuatahi i tupu ai, i ohorere ahau, ā, i pouri ahau mō ngā rā. Kātahi ka whakapāha ia, ā, ka whakatikatika māua i te whanaungatanga. Engari he tangata tinihanga raupapa ia, ā, kei te rongoa ia i a ia inaianei. Kua murua e ahau ia nā te mea he matua pai ia ki ā māua tamariki tokowhā."
I pātai mātou ki tō mātou tohunga, e taea ana te muru rawa i te hara o te tangata nāna koe i tinihanga? E kī ana a Utkarsh, "Ka whakaae ahau ki tēnā. E taea ana te muru i te hara o te tangata nāna koe i tinihanga, ahakoa he aha te tikanga o te tinihanga i roto i te whanaungatanga ki a koe. Ki te whakaaro koe he takahi whakaaetanga te tinihanga, ā, ka kite koe i te tinihanga he rite ki te 'whanaungatanga pakaru', kāti, kāore pea koe e taea te muru i te hara o te tangata kē."
"Engari ki te whakaaro koe ki tēnei takahi i te whakawhirinaki hei tohu ārai noa iho i te whanaungatanga , hei tohu rānei kei te puta ētahi arai tuwhera i roto i te whanaungatanga i arahi ai ki te tinihanga, tera pea ka nui ake tō hiahia ki te ako me pēhea te muru i te tinihanga. Mēnā ka pērā, tera pea ka eke koe ki te taumata o te murunga hara katoa me te mahi ki ngā take matua i waenganui i a koe me tō hoa."
Nō reira, ka taea e tātou te kī he taea te muru hara i muri i te tinihanga, ahakoa he nui te kaha o te ngākau me te kaha o tō whakaaro. He maha ngā taahiraa e whai ake nei mō te muru hara i tētahi hoa rangatira, i tētahi hoa rānei e tinihanga ana. Ahakoa kei te whakaaro koe me pēhea te muru hara i tētahi hoa wahine/hoa e tinihanga ana, kei te ngana rānei koe ki te rapu huarahi hei muru hara i tō hoa rangatira mō te tinihanga me te hanga anō i te whanaungatanga, anei ngā taahiraa hei muru hara katoa i tētahi i tinihanga ki a koe:
1. Whakaaetia tō āhua kare ā-roto me tō āhua hinengaro
He pānga kino ki te hauora hinengaro me te hauora kare ā-roto te tangata ina tinihangatia. Hei muru i te hara o te hoa tinihanga, me whakaae kei te pouri koe, ā, he pai ki te pouri. Kaua e pupuri i ō kare ā-roto; ka puta mai i roto i ētahi atu huarahi mamae. Whakaaetia ngā hua kare ā-roto me te hinengaro o te kore whakapono. He tino pānga nui te moepuku ki a koe, ā, he tika tēnā.
E kī ana a Utkarsh, "Ko te tikanga, ko te āhua kare ā-roto teitei e pā ana ki a tātou ko tō tātou whakapehapeha e tū ana hei tiaki i a tātou anō. Hei tauira, ki te hopukina e koe tō hoa e moe tahi ana me tētahi atu, ka riri koe, ka whakaaro, "He aha te tangata ka tinihanga ai i tētahi e arohaina ana e rātou ?" Ka puta te riri me te pōuri, ā, koinei tō huarahi tiaki i a koe anō."
"Kāore rānei, ka whakakahoretia e koe ō kare ā-roto pono o te pouri, te mamae, me te wehi. Ahakoa kei te mōhio koe i roto i te hinengaro, ka pehia e koe aua kare ā-roto nā te mea he tino uaua ki te aro atu. Engari, ki te hiahia pono koe ki te mōhio me pēhea te muru i te tinihanga a tō hoa, me whakaae koe ki aua kare ā-roto uaua, me tuku i a koe anō kia ora, kia aro atu ki ngā kare ā-roto kino."
"Ko te murunga hara i te wā e tere rawa ana te wā, he whakatau ohorere pea nā te mea ehara te murunga hara i te otinga tere mō te whanaungatanga. He tukanga roa e tīmata ana i a koe anō. Kia atawhai ki a koe anō i te tuatahi. Kāore koe e mahi pai ana ki tō hoa mā te murunga hara. Ko tāu huarahi tēnei ki te whakaora i a koe anō mā te tuku i ngā taumahatanga kare ā-roto ."
2. Whakapuaki i a koe ano
Karanga ki roto i te urunga. Waiatahia he waiata pouri, ka aue pērā i te pēpi. Tuhia ō kare ā-roto. Kei te hiahia koe ki te kanga? Tuhia, ka karanga rānei ki te pakitara i roto i te rūma kau. Tukua te riri kia tukuna; tukua ō roimata kia rere. Ki te kore e taea e koe te whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto o te riri me te mamae ki tō hoa, me mahi tahi me tētahi hoa, me tētahi mema rānei o te whānau e mārama ana ki tō āhuatanga, ā, e kore e whakahē.
E mōhio ana mātou ehara i te mea ngāwari te muku i te whakaahua o tō hoa rangatira me taua tangata kē atu i roto i tō hinengaro. Engari kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro me pēhea te muru i te tinihanga mena ka mau tonu koe ki ngā mahi o mua. Ka taea hoki e koe te kōrero ki tētahi kaitohutohu hei āwhina i a koe ki te tukatuka i ō kare ā-roto me te kimi i tētahi tirohanga. Me whakapuaki koe i a koe anō hei whakaputa i ō kare ā-roto kua pehia. Koinei anake te huarahi ka taea e koe te heke ki te tukanga murunga hara o tētahi i tinihanga i a koe.
3. Kōrero ki tētahi hoa whakawhirinaki hei muru i te tinihanga a tētahi
I ētahi wā, ko te kōrero ki tētahi tangata e whakawhirinaki ana koe, ki tētahi rānei e whakaaro ana koe ka mārama ki a koe te mea pai rawa atu ina pāngia koe e te mamae hinengaro. He pai ki te whai tirohanga rerekē mō tō pouri. Kaua e ngana ki te whakaora i a koe anō. Rapua he āwhina mai i te hoa whakawhirinaki. I ētahi wā, he āwhina anō hoki te haere tahi me ngā hoa.
Kāore koe e hiahia ki te kōrero mō tō āhuatanga ki a rātou, engari ko te kōrero noa mō ngā rā kura, ngā rā kāreti rānei, me te kata nui, ka taea te whakaora. Mā te kōrero ki te tangata ka āwhina i a koe ki te whakaiti i te ahotea. Kāore he wā ki te whakaaroaro ki ngā kare ā-roto kino kua pā ki a koe mēnā ka kōrero koe ki te hunga e karapoti ana i a koe. Hei rapu huarahi ki te muru i te hara o te tangata tinihanga, me ora koe i te wā o mua. Mā te karapoti i a koe ki te hunga e hari ana i a koe ka taea e koe te mahi i tēnā.
Pānui e pā ana: Te whakatau i te pouri i muri i te tinihanga ki tētahi – 7 Tohutohu a ngā Tohunga
4. Hoatu he wāhi ki a kōrua ko tō hoa
Mā te piri atu ki tō hoa tinihanga ki te tirotiro i ana nekehanga katoa, ehara i te mea ka whakangaro noa i tō rangimarie o te hinengaro, engari ka nui ake te kino o te whanaungatanga. Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe ki te muru hara, hoatu he wāhi ki a koe me tō hoa. Tērā pea ka āwhina i a koe ki te arotake anō i tō tūnga mō te whanaungatanga.
Koinei tētahi o ngā wā e ahua pai ana te whakataa i tētahi hononga . Neke atu mō ētahi marama ka tīmata ki te noho motuhake. Mā tēnei ka mōhio koe ki te hiranga o kōrua tetahi ki tetahi. Kua hanga e kōrua he oranga tahi i roto i te wā, ā, ahakoa kua puta te puremu, kei te mau tonu tētahi aho e hono ana i a kōrua. Kia noho motuhake kōrua, ka taea e kōrua te tīmata ki te whakaora anō i taua hononga, ā, ka māmā ake te muru i te hara o tō hoa tinihanga.
Ka nui ake te hiranga o tēnei mēnā kei te ngana koe ki te muru i te hara o tētahi i tinihanga i a koe i ngā wā maha. Nā te mea ka taea e te tinihanga maha te arahi ki ngā raruraru whakawhirinaki hohonu i roto i te whanaungatanga, ka taea e te tawhiti te tuku tirohanga hou ki a koe mō tāu e hiahia ana māu ake. Kei te hiahia koe ki te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki a rātou, ki te wehe atu rānei? Kia mahara ko te murunga hara i muri i te tinihanga me te whakahoki mai i te hoa, ehara i te mea he hononga tetahi ki tetahi.
E ai ki a Utkarsh, "He mea tino nui te wāhi hei whakatau i te hoa tinihanga. Mena kei te whakaaro koe, "Me pēhea te muru i te hara o te tangata i teka, i tinihanga?", me mōhio koe kei te hononga me te whanaungatanga piripono o te tokorua. "
"Ka taea e ngā hoa te whakatau i tēnei mā te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero whai hua, arā, he pono te ngākau me te aro ki a rātou anō, me te pupuri i ō rāua whakangungu ego ki te taha. I te wa ano, he mea nui kia whakaute i te wāhi whaiaro o tētahi ki tētahi. I roto i ēnei āhuatanga, ka mahi te tangata i runga i ō rātou hinengaro huna, ā, he nui ngā tūponotanga ka uru atu ki te whakakorekore. Engari i te wā e tuku ana kōrua i te wāhi me te wā e hiahiatia ana ki tētahi ki tētahi hei whakaora, ngana kia aro ki ngā mea e pā ana ki a kōrua i te hinengaro me te tinana."
5. Me pēhea te muru i te tinihanga a tetahi? Whakaarohia te rongoā hinengaro
Ka taea e te tohutohu whanaungatanga te āwhina nui i a koe, te whakamātau rānei i te rongoā a ngā tāne me ngā wāhine ki te kōrero tuwhera ki tō hoa mā te āwhina ngaio. Ka taea e te tohutohu te whakatika i ngā raruraru o tō whanaungatanga i puta ai te tinihanga i te tuatahi. He maha ngā wā ka uaua ki ngā hoa te kōrero tetahi ki tetahi i muri i te tinihanga. Me pēhea e murua ai e koe te hara o te tangata nāna koe i tinihanga ina kore koe e aro ki te titiro atu ki a rātou?
He maha tonu ngā wā ka noho pōuri, ka whakapae, ā, ka ngaro katoa te whakawhirinaki. Engari, ki te mea kei te pouri tō hoa mō āna mahi, ā, e hiahia ana ki te whakatika i te whanaungatanga, ka taea e te kaitohutohu te āwhina i a koe ki te kimi i te rere ngāwari o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero me te hononga ngaro i waenganui i a kōrua. Heoi anō, he pai ake te āwhina o te rongoā hinengaro ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki. Kia mōhio ai koe, kei konei tonu ngā kaitohutohu pūkenga me te mātau o te rōpū tohunga o Bonobology hei tautoko i a koe.
6. Kia mohio
Ehara i te mea nā te tinihanga. Engari he aha te mea i arahi i tō hoa ki te kotiti ke (ka puta ake ēnei āhuatanga i roto i ngā wā whakaora). He maha ngā wā ka puta te tinihanga nā te mea i whakaaro te hoa kāore ia i arohia, kāore i te maiohahia, kāore rānei i te harikoa i roto i te whanaungatanga . Ahakoa kāore tēnā e whakamana i te tinihanga, ka āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ki tōna āhua hinengaro i te wā i whiriwhiri ai ia ki te tuku i tō whakawhirinaki.
Ki te hiahia koe ki te muru i te hara o tō hoa i tinihanga, ā, ka tīmata anō ki a rātou, me kaha koe ki te wikitoria i te wā o te whakapae i a rātou mō ā rātou mahi. Mā te mārama ki te take i tinihanga ai rātou i te tuatahi ka āwhina i tēnā. Heoi, ehara i te mea me whakapae koe i a koe anō mō te he o tō hoa. Kāore mātou e kī ana kia murua wawetia te hara o te tangata tinihanga, engari kaua rawa e whakama mō te tinihanga a tō hoa.
7. Kaua e whakatakoto whakaaro rapu utu
Me pēhea te muru i te hara o tētahi mō te tinihanga? Tīmata mā te whakaae kāore e taea te noho tahi te murunga hara me te rapu utu. He tauhohenga noa te rapu utu. He mahi kuware te "Kua tinihanga taku hoa i ahau, nō reira ka tinihanga ahau hei rapu utu" ā, ka nui ake pea tō whara i a koe anō me te whanaungatanga. Nō reira, he pai ake kia kaua e whakatipu i te whakaaro o te rapu utu i roto i tō mahunga.
Mā te riri e tukuna ana ki te 'hoki atu ki a ia' ka kino rawa atu te āhuatanga. Ki te kore e taea e te tokorua te neke atu i te riri, ka raru nui te whakawhirinaki ahakoa kei roto tonu rāua i te whanaungatanga. Me wikitoria e kōrua taua wā. Tukua mārire te riri, kaua hoki e rapu utu. Me kimi e koe te huarahi hei whakahaere i ō ake kare ā-roto. Kimihia tō marino, ā, arotahi ki tō mahi, ki tō kāinga, ki ō mahi whakangahau rānei.
8. Haere atu i te koretake
I muri i te mōhio ki te tinihanga o tō hoa, tera pea ka pōuri koe mō āna mahi i ia taahiraa. Engari ko te murunga hara i te hoa tinihanga he mea nui ake ki te ako ki te whakawhirinaki anō ki tō hoa, kaua ki te pōuri me te mataku ki a ia. He mea noa kia pōuri koe ina kōrero ana tō hoa tinihanga i te waea, ina hoki mai rānei ia i te mahi i te pō, ka nui rawa atu tō hinengaro.
Pānui e pā ana: He tinihanga te tuku karere ira tangata mēnā kei roto koe i tētahi whanaungatanga?
Hei tāpiri, ko te tinihangatia ka pā kino ki tō whakaaro ki a koe anō, ā, ka maha ngā whakaaro pēnei i te "Kāore au i te pai mō rātou" ka toro atu ki tō hinengaro. Hei mōhio ki te toi o te 'me pēhea te muru i te hara o te tangata tinihanga, me te noho tahi', me mutu te aroha ki a koe anō. Ā, i taua wā, me whai wāhi nui tō hoa ki te whakatenatena i a koe ehara i a koe, engari ko rātou. Me mahi hoki rātou i ngā mahi kia kore ai koe e māharahara i roto i te whanaungatanga . Koinei anake te huarahi ki te rapu me te tuku murunga hara i muri i te tinihanga.
E kī ana a Utkarsh, "Mō tēnei, kāore au e whakamahi i tētahi reo whakahirahira, e kore hoki e hoatu he whakamārama whakahirahira. He mea noa te koretake o te noho haumaru i roto i ngā whanaungatanga. Ko te koretake te tatau ki te whakaaroaro ki a koe anō. Engari i te tauhohe, i te karo rānei i tēnā, me whakaae koe ki tēnā me te whakaute. Hoatu he wāhi ki tō koretake, kia mārama hoki ki tā tō koretake e ngana ana ki te kī. Hei utu, ka āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ake ki a koe anō."
Te Whakaora i a Koe Anō Ina Murua e Koe te Tangata i Tinihanga ki a Koe
Ka taea e koe te muru i te hara o te tangata i tinihanga ki a koe? Tērā pea ka pāngia tō hinengaro e tēnei pātai i muri tonu i te tinihanga. I taua wā, tera pea te āhua nei ko te whakautu ki tēnei pātai he KĀORE mārama, he KĀORE. Heoi, i te tīmatanga o te wā ki te whakaiti i te mamae, ka tīmata te ahua nei he tika ake te murunga hara i muri i te tinihanga.
Engari i mua i tō murunga hara i tō hoa i tinihanga i a koe, me ora koe, me tino ora anō hoki. Ehara te kore whakapono i te mutunga o te whanaungatanga. Kāore e taea te whakakore i ētahi mea, ā, i mua i tō whakamutu i ngā mea, me tō whakatau kia kaua e murua, whakaarohia te pānga ki a koe.
Ui atu ki a koe enei patai:
- E aroha ana koe ki tō hoa rangatira?
- Kei te hiahia koe kia noho tonu i roto i te whanaungatanga?
- Ka taea e koe te whakawhirinaki anō ki tō hoa tinihanga?
- Kei te pai koe ki te neke atu i te mahi whakaipoipo?
- Kei te hiahia koe ki te mahi i runga i te whanaungatanga?
Mena he āe te whakautu ki ngā mea katoa o runga ake nei, me whakaora tuatahi koe. Ko te whakaora he ako mō ngā mea o mua, kaua hoki e tukua kia whakangaro i te wā o nāianei. Anei ētahi mea hei maumahara mēnā kei te ngana koe ki te whakaora i a koe anō, me te rapu whakautu mō te murunga hara i te tangata i teka, i tinihanga hoki ki a koe:
Pānui e pā ana: Te Whakamā o te Hanga Anō i te Hononga i muri i te Tinihanga me te Me pēhea te Whakahaere
1. Kia mōhio ki tō tūnga, ā, whakarērea te kēmu whakapae
Kua rite koe ki te muru i te hara o tētahi hoa tinihanga, me te neke atu i te tinihanga? Ki tō whakaaro ka taea e koe te noho i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga hauora me tētahi tangata kua takahi i tō whakawhirinakitanga i tētahi wā, i ētahi wā rānei? Ka taea e koe te neke atu i te mamae, me te ngana anō ki te whakawhirinaki? Kei te whakaaro tonu rānei koe he tangata kino rātou, kāore i aro ki te tapu o tō whanaungatanga? Arotakehia i roto i a koe anō i mua i tō whakatau.
E kī ana a Utkarsh, " Ko te whakawhiti whakapae he huarahi noa iho hei tiaki i a koe anō i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga. Engari kaua e uru ki te kēmu hinengaro o te whakapae, me ngana ngā hoa ki te mārama ki ngā āhuatanga rerekē o tētahi whanonga haki whero motuhake nā te mea kāore tetahi e kino ana ki tā rātou whanaungatanga. E hiahia ana te katoa kia tupu."
"Ki te mārama koe ki ngā āhuatanga rerekē o te whanonga, tera pea ka āwhina i a koe ki te kite i te pūtake o taua whanonga. Kia taea e koe te mārama ake i tā rātou mahi me te hohonu ake o te hinengaro, tera pea ka taea e koe te kite i tō hoa i roto i tētahi tirohanga hou, me te mārama ki tōna āhua hinengaro. Ā tōna wā, ka mōhio koe me pēhea te muru i te tinihanga a tō hoa."
2. Kaua e pātai mō ngā taipitopito paru
Ki te hiahia koe kia kaua e pātai atu mō ngā āhuatanga paru o te moepuku. Ka mamae noa iho koe i a koe e whakaaro tonu ana kei te piri tō hoa ki tētahi atu. He pono, he miriona āu pātai mō te aha, te take, me te pēhea o te katoa. Pātai atu ki tō hoa tinihanga ngā pātai tika hei āwhina i a koe ki te wareware i tēnei mahi, kaua e whakahoki anō i roto i tō hinengaro. Ko te mea pai ko te kaua e aro nui ki ngā āhuatanga o te mahi.
3. Kāore e taea te ngana ki te whakaora i te pō kotahi
Me pēhea te muru i te hara o tētahi, me te whakaora i a koe anō? Whakaaetia te meka kua pakaru tō whakawhirinaki, ā, kāore e taea te whakatika i roto i te pō kotahi. Mā te ngana ki te whakaari kua hoki ngā mea katoa ki te āhua noa ka aukati i te tukanga whakaora. Engari, kōrerohia ngā mea e mataku ana koe i roto i te whanaungatanga me tō hoa. Hoatu he wā ki te whanaungatanga me tō hoa kia pai ake ai.
4. Puritia te mauahara kia matara atu
Ko te kī ki te muru i te hara o te tangata tinihanga ko te tuku i te hītori kia tanumia ōna mate. E kore te pupuri i te mauahara, me te kore e neke atu i te mahi taikaha e arahi i a koe ki hea. Mā te amuamu tonu mō te mahi taikaha, te whakamahi rānei i te mahi taikaha hei taputapu hei whakahaere i tō hoa, hei whakaiti rānei i a rātou, e whakaatu ana kei te pupuri tonu koe i te mauahara. Mā te pupuri i te mauahara ka uaua ake te hanga anō i te whanaungatanga i runga i te huarahi hauora, ā, ka kino hoki ki a koe anō.
5. Hoatu he whai wāhitanga tuarua ki te whakawhirinaki
Hei mahi i te murunga hara i muri i te tinihanga, ngana ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki ki te whanaungatanga . E kore e ngāwari te whakawhirinaki anō ki tō hoa, engari kia mau tonu te ngana kia kore ra ano koe e ruarua i ā rātou kōrero katoa. Ko te whakawhirinaki te tūāpapa o tētahi whanaungatanga, nō reira kimihia i roto i tō ngākau me tō hinengaro te whakawhirinaki me te muru i te hara o tō hoa.
Tohutohu Matua
- Whakaaetia ō kare ā-roto, ā, whakamahia aua kare ā-roto i roto i te huarahi hauora hei muru i te hara o te tangata nāna koe i tinihanga.
- Kōrero ki tētahi hoa, ā, me whakaputa tō riri mēnā me whakaputa
- Hoatu he wāhi ki a kōrua ko tō hoa kia taea ai e kōrua te wikitoria i te mamae me te āwangawanga
- Ehara te tinihanga rapu utu i te huarahi tika hei mahi i tēnā
- Ngāna kia pehia tō riri mēnā kei te hiahia koe ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki ki tō hoa, ā, me rapu tohutohu ngaio mēnā me mahi.
He uaua te whakaora i te tinihanga o tētahi hononga. Engari mā te wā me te manawanui, ka kaha ake te hononga hou. Kāore e kore he uaua ake te muru i ngā mahi maha, ā, ki te kore e taea e koe te mahi i tēnā, he mea mārama. Engari e ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua ake nei, me pātai koe ki a koe anō i ētahi pātai nui i mua i te murunga hara o tētahi i tinihanga i a koe.
FAQs
Ina hoki, he kaha koe mēnā ka taea e koe te muru i te hara o tētahi i muri i te tinihanga. Me kaha te wairua kia taea ai e koe te arotahi ki ngā āhuatanga pai o te tangata, me te neke atu i te tinihanga.
I muri i te pouri, ka tukatukahia e koe ō kare ā-roto, ā, mā te āta haere, ka taea te muru i te hara o te tangata nāna koe i tinihanga. Kia taea ai e koe te muru pono i te tinihanga o te hoa, me ora rawa koe i te hē, kaua e whakakore, e pupuri rānei i ō kare ā-roto.
Tērā pea ka roa te wā, nā te mea ka mamae tonu te hoa i muri i te puremu. Engari ki te ngana ngā hoa e rua ki te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki, ka taea e te whanaungatanga te hoki ki te āhua noa.
Kei te tangata takitahi, me te pānga o te tinihanga ki a rātou. Tērā pea ka roa ētahi marama, ko ētahi he tau, he rua rānei, ā, ko ētahi kāore e tino murua. Tērā pea ka taea e tētahi wāhanga o rātou te pupuri tonu i te mamae.
He aha te mea nui kia tiakina ngā taunakitanga o te hoa tinihanga
Me pēhea te wareware i tētahi e arohaina nuitia ana e koe – 9 ngā taahiraa hei whai
Ngā Hononga Hauora, Ngā Hononga Kino, Ngā Hononga Tūkino – He aha te Rerekētanga?
Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.
Ko te murunga hara ko te whakaae ki te meka, te titiro ki te tangata tinihanga he tangata e ngawari ana ki te rere atu, me te wikitoria i ngā kare ā-roto kino/utu ki te tangata tinihanga. Ko te mea nui i roto i te murunga hara ko te wikitoria i ngā kare ā-roto utu ki te tangata tinihanga. Ko te rapu utu ko te whakapuaki i te ao katoa mō te mahi tinihanga, me te whakakino i te āhua o te tangata tinihanga ki ngā kanohi o te hunga e tata ana, o ā rātou tamariki, o ō rātou mātua me ō rātou tuākana, tuākana, tuākana, hoa, me te hapori whānui, ka meinga te oranga o te tangata tinihanga kia pōuri mō te oranga i tēnei ao tūturu, ā, i te mutunga ka puta he whakarere tutu. Ka mamae te tangata i a ia anō me te tangata tinihanga, nō reira me karo. He āhuatanga kararehe te rapu utu.
Ko te tinihanga ka taka whānuitia ki roto i ngā take i raro nei
1. Ahakoa kua kōrero te tangata tinihanga i ngā take o te marena me tana hoa rangatira, ā, kua ārai te hoa rangatira, kua kore rānei e aro, ā, kua akiakihia te tangata tinihanga ki te tinihanga. Heoi, kāore e taea te kī he take mō te tinihanga i roto i te marena, ā, me whakawehi/whakarere te tangata tinihanga i te whanaungatanga, engari kāore ia i pena.
2. I whiriwhiri noa te tangata tinihanga ki te tinihanga, kāore he mahi hei whakatau i ngā take o te marena. He mārama ngā whakaaro o te tangata tinihanga, nā te mea he toa te tangata tinihanga ki te whakarērea ngā kakahu, ka pārekareka ki te mahi tahi me te tangata tuatoru me te mahi whakaari i te kāinga, engari mō te tangata tinihanga, he mahere kē tā te ao tūroa, ā, kua hurahia te tinihanga.
3. I kotiti ke te tangata tinihanga, ā, nā te hara me te ripeneta pono i whakaatu tonu i tana mahi ki tana hoa pono, ā, i tono murunga hara, me te oati kia kaua e mahi anō i taua mahi. I konei e mōhio pai ana te tangata tinihanga kei te tūpono tana marena mā te whakaatu, engari kei te whakaatu tonu.
He mea tapu te murunga hara i te mamae nui o te tangata, kāore e kore. Engari ko te whakatau mēnā me muru te hara o te tangata tinihanga, me te haere tonu i te marena, me muru rānei i te hara o te tangata tinihanga kua wehe kē tetahi i tetahi, he mea tēnei mā te tangata takitahi e tango i te mamae/te pono tahanga me te āhua pōuri/te kanohi tūturu o tā rātou e aroha nei.
4. Murua te hara, ā, kia mau tonu te marena
Me kaha te hinengaro me ngā āhuatanga whaiaro mō tēnei. Ki te murua te hara, ā, ka noho tonu ki te taha o te tangata tinihanga, me wikitoria e ia ngā kare ā-roto o te kore haumaru, te koretake, te whakama, me ētahi atu kare ā-roto kino. Me kaha te hinengaro me ngā āhuatanga whaiaro mō tēnei, ki te kore ka taka te tangata ki te pouri/ngā whakaaro tarukino/whakamomori. Ka taea e te tangata te rapu āwhina wairua hei whakaora i te tukanga me te muru i te hara o te tangata tinihanga. E ai ki te wairuatanga, he Atman katoa tātou me ngā tinana kikokiko. I te taumata Atman, ko te wairua teitei ko tō tātou matua, ā, ko āna tamariki katoa tātou. He tuakiri motuhake ngā Atman katoa engari he rite te āhua, kāore he hiranga, he iti iho rānei. Nō reira, kāore he take e mauahara ai. Engari i te mea kua hara te wairua tinihanga, ka pāngia te wairua tinihanga e ngā hara hua i tēnei whānautanga, i te heke mai rānei. Ko tō whanaungatanga ki te tangata tinihanga he rite tonu ki te roa o tō tinana i tēnei whānautanga. Ehara ō tātou whanaungatanga i runga i te tūāpapa moepuku engari he hononga wairua. Kia aroha ki te tangata tinihanga, murua te hara, ā, neke atu.
5. Murua te hara, ka neke whakamua
He tangata tino tika koe, ā, kāore e taea e koe te aro ki te takahi i te pono o tōu ake ngākau. He tangata ngāwari hoki koe, he tangata kare ā-roto, kāore e taea e koe te tango i te meka me te haere tonu i te marena. Whakaarohia mēnā he wairua whai mana te tangata, ka mutu ka whiwhi ia i ngā hoa rangatira e whakaatu ana i te aroha kore-whaiaro, ki te kore ka mutu ka noho ko ngā tāngata tinihanga/kaipahua whaiaro, ā, koinā te mutunga, ā, whakaaetia. Ka taea e koe te aroha ki a rātou, kaua e riri, me te inoi ki te Atua me te aroha mō ō rātou whakaaro nui me te oranga, me te whakaatu i tō kore e taea te haere tonu i te whanaungatanga, nā te mea he tangata anō hoki koe, he tangata tinihanga, engari ehara i te tangata tapu. Kāore he amuamu, kāore he kino ki te ingoa o te tangata tinihanga, me te whakaae tahi ki te wehenga.