Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi tāne tinihanga – 15 Tohutohu

Ka hinga te oranga i hangaia ngātahitia e kōrua ina mōhio koe he tinihanga tāu tāne, he tinihanga rānei. Tērā pea kua pōuritia tō hinengaro e ngā pātai maha mō ngā wā o mua, mō ngā rā kei te heke mai, mō te āhua o ō kōrua whanaungatanga, me te koretake o ngā mea katoa. Tērā pea ka kapi tō hinengaro i ngā pātai mutunga kore. Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi tāne tinihanga? He aha te mea hei kōrero ki tāu tāne tinihanga? Me pēhea te whakatau i te mamae o te tinihangatia? Ā, ko te mea nui, he aha tāu mahi i muri i tana tinihanga?

Ko te pātai mehemea me wareware noa koe ki ngā hara a tō tāne, me neke atu, me noho rānei ki te tangata nāna koe i tinihanga, koinei pea te pātai tino whakamataku rawa atu. Ahakoa ko te wehe atu i te hoa rangatira tinihanga pea te mea tuatahi e hiahia ana koe ki te wawahi i te marena, ehara i te mea ngāwari i ngā wā katoa. Engari ki te whiriwhiri koe ki te noho, ka akiaki noa iho rānei i a ia kia haere atu?

Kāore he kōwhiringa tika, kāore hoki he kōwhiringa ngāwari i tēnei āhuatanga, ā, kāore rawa he kōwhiringa ngāwari. Nā te mea, kia pono tātou, kāore he pukapuka ture e whakamana ana i ngā whanaungatanga tino pai, kāore hoki he huarahi ngāwari ki te whakatau i tētahi tāne tinihanga. Engari he otinga kei ia raruraru, ā, ehara tēnei i te mea rerekē. Anei ētahi tohutohu me ngā whakaaro mō te aha e meatia ina kitea e koe kei te tinihanga tō tāne. Mānu hōhonu, ā, whakarongo ki tēnei tohutohu mō te neke atu i te kore whakapono, me te whakahaere i te āhuatanga ki te pai o tō kaha.

Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi tāne tinihanga – 15 Tohutohu

I muri i te toru tau o te marena me Raul, ka hapu a Linda. He uaua te haputanga, ā, i pau te nuinga o te kaha me te hinengaro o Linda; i roto i taua tukanga, ka tīmata rāua ko Raul te wehe. I mua i te whānautanga o te tamaiti tuatahi a Linda, i moe tahi a Raul me tana hoa mahi, a Susan. Ko te wā tino harikoa o tōna ao i ngaro i te tinihanga a Ross. I mahue a Linda i te whakaaro, "Me whakarērea e au taku tāne mō te tinihanga?" Ko te mōhio ka hiahia tana tamaiti kāore anō kia whānau he matua, i aukati i a ia ki te tākai i ana peke me te haere atu.

Engari, i whiriwhiria e ia te aro atu ki te mamae o te tāne tinihanga, me te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki tana marena hei painga mō tana tamaiti hou. Ehara i te mea ko te murunga hara a tō hoa rangatira mō te tuku i tō whakawhirinakitanga me te whiriwhiri kia noho tahi koia anake te huarahi hei wikitoria i te whiu o te kore whakapono. He uaua te whakaae ki te mōhio he tinihanga tāu tāne, ā, he rerekē te urupare a ia tokorua ki tēnei.

Ahakoa rā, ka taea e koe te kohikohi i ngā mea katoa, ka tirotiro pai i ō whiringa ina whakaaro koe me pēhea te whakatau i te tinihanga a tō tāne. Ahakoa te āhua kāore e taea, ka taea e koe te noho tahi me te tāne e moe tāne ana mēnā kāore ō āhuatanga e pai ki te wehe atu i te marena. Hei whakamanawanui i tēnei haerenga mamae, anei ngā tohutohu 15 mō te whakatau i te tāne tinihanga:

1. Tirohia anō ō meka

Tērā pea kei te whakaaro koe kei te hē tetahi mea. Tērā pea kua kite koe i ētahi tohu tinihanga a tō hoa, engari kāore koe i te tino mōhio mēnā koinā te pono. "E whakapae ana ahau kei te tinihanga taku tāne, engari kāore āku taunakitanga" – ka roa pea tēnei whakaaro ina rongo koe i tana tinihanga i roto i ōu wheua, engari kāore he mea pumau hei tautoko.

He tangata mātau ngā wāhine. Ki te mea kei te kī mai tō ngākau kei te ora tō hoa rangatira tētahi atu wahine, tera pea he pono. Engari kāore e taea e koe te whakapae i tēnei mea nui i runga i tō ngākau anake. He mea nui kia tūpato, kia manatoko. Tirohia, kia rua ngā wā kia tino mohio kei te mahi koe me tētahi tāne tinihanga. Anei ētahi pātai me pātai atu koe, me te aro atu i a koe e tirotiro ana i ō whakapae:

• He kōrero whakakatakata noa iho rānei, he takaro takaro kino rānei?
• Tērā pea kei te kōrero ia ki tētahi hoa mahi e mahi tahi ana rāua i tētahi kaupapa?
• He aha te āhua o tēnei whanaungatanga ki te wahine kē? He pono rānei ia tinihanga ki a koe i runga ipurangi i te ao tūturu rānei?
• E whakaaro ana ia he tinihanga tēnei? Ā, e whakaaro ana hoki koe?
• He taunakitanga tūturu pērā i ngā karere kuputuhi, ngā īmēra, ngā taipitopito o tā rāua hui, ka taea e koe te whakamahi hei whakahē i a ia?

Me tohu e koe ō "I" me ō "T" i mua i te tīmatanga o te whakaaro me pēhea te tū atu ki tētahi tangata tinihanga. Me mahi i te mahi e whai ake nei i muri i tō whakaoti i ō mahi tirotiro tika. He mea tino nui kia whakaū koe i te āhuatanga i mua i te wā, nā te mea ka taea e te whakapae teka te whakakino i te whakawhirinakitanga o tō whanaungatanga mō te wā roa.

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2. Whakatūpato atu ki a ia

Me aha koe ina kitea e koe kei te tinihanga tō tāne? Mānua hōhonu. E mōhio ana mātou ki te nui o tō riri, ā, koia tonu te take e hiahia ana mātou kia marino koe i mua i te tauhohe. Kia marino koe (kia marino rawa koe), kia maumahara ki ēnei mea e whai ake nei kia tino puta ai ngā whakautu e rapuhia ana e koe i roto i te kōrero:

• Me mahi i te wā tika: Kimihia te wā tika hei kōrero ki a ia, kia kore ai he mea hei whakararuraru. Hei tauira, ki te mea he tamariki āu, kia noho rātou i te pō, kia ngaro atu rānei i te kāinga ina kōrero koe ki a ia.
• Te māramatanga o te whakaaro: Me mārama tō hinengaro mō te mea hei kōrero ki tō tāne tinihanga. Mā tēnei ka kore e neke te kōrero ki ngā kōrero koretake.
• Puritia ki ngā meka: Kaua e kōrero anō mō ​​ngā take o mua, kaua hoki e whakapae i ngā mea e whakaaro ana koe kei te mahi ia. Kia mau ki ngā kōrero kua whakamanahia e koe.
• Kia tika: Kaua e kōrero whakakatakata, kaua hoki e kōrero teka – pātai noa ki a ia. Tukua te pātai kia ohorere ia kia whiwhi ai i te whakautu pono.

Ahakoa te pātai atu a tō hoa rangatira, ka whakakahore pea ia i te hononga, engari ka mōhio koe i roto i ōna āhua me tana reo tinana. He tohutohu iti – tirohia mēnā ka karo ia i te titiro ki ō kanohi, ka titiro tika mai rānei ki a koe ina whakautua e ia tō pātai. Kia tūpato hoki ki ētahi atu tohu teka pērā i te tahuritanga o tōna tuara ki a koe, te pā atu rānei ki te ihu, te waru rānei i te mata. Nā te mea kua moe tāne koe i a ia, kua kite pea koe i ēnei tohu ina teka ia, ina ngana rānei ki te huna i tētahi mea. Te whakatau i tāu tāne teka He mea nui kia kaua e taka ki roto i te mahanga o āna kupu whakapumau teka, kia taea ai e koe te whakatau kanohi ki te kanohi i te take o te puremu.

3. He mea nui te tohutohu

Kua hipa kē koe i te wā "Kei te whakapae ahau kei te tinihanga taku tāne engari kāore āku taunakitanga". Kua tuwhera ana hara, ā, he maha ngā pātai hou e tū mai ana ki tō aroaro:

• Me noho koe, me haere rānei?
• Ki te whakatau koe ki te noho tonu, tera pea ka hiahia koe ki te mōhio: he aha te huarahi tika hei whakahoki mai i te tangata tinihanga?
• Ki te mea kei te whakaaro koe ki te wehe atu, ko te pātai pea kei roto i tō hinengaro ko tēnei: ​​me pēhea te wehe atu i tāu tāne tinihanga e arohaina ana e koe?
• Ā, ina horomia koe e ngā whakaaro mō tana tinihanga, ka hiahia pea koe ki te mōhio: me pēhea te mutu te whakaaro nui i muri i te tinihangatia?

Ehara i te mea ngāwari te kimi huarahi hei whakatau i te tāne tinihanga, ina koa mēnā kei te hiahia tonu kōrua kia noho tahi. Koinei te wā tika hei rapu āwhina māu me tō kōrua marena. Kaua e whakamā ki te kōrero ki tētahi kaiārahi mō ngā tokorua, me te ngana ki te whakaputa i ngā mea katoa kua huna e kōrua, me te whakaoti i ō raruraru.

Kua tata te wehenga o Nikita rāua ko Derek i muri i tana kitenga i tana mahi tinihanga. Kāore rawa ia e huri hei wahine e titiro kē ana i te wā e tinihanga ana ā rāua tāne, ko tāna kupu tēnei ki a ia anō. Engari he raruraru iti; i roto i tōna ngākau, e uaua ana ki te whakaaro, "I tinihanga taku tāne, me pēhea rā?" Ahakoa te tinihanga, kāore i taea e Nikita te whakakore i ōna kare ā-roto mō Derek. "Me i whai pātene whakaweto mō ngā kare ā-roto," ko tāna tangi. Hei ngana whakamutunga ki te whakaora i tā rāua marena, i haere rāua ki tētahi kaiārahi. I hua mai ngā hua. I angitu rāua ki te neke atu i te hinganga o te tinihanga, ā, kei te harikoa rāua i tēnei rā.

Mā te whakapuaki i ō raruraru i te aroaro o tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro whai mātauranga ka āwhina i a koe ki te aromatawai mēnā he mea kei te ngaro i roto i tō whanaungatanga ka taea te mahi, mēnā rānei kei te raru koe i tētahi raruraru. tangata tinihanga taungaMena kāore te kaupapa tohutohu e pai ki a koe, ki te kore rānei kōrua e whakaae tahi mō tēnei mea, ka taea hoki e koe te whakatau i te taha wairua o te tāne tinihanga. Mena he whakapono koe, me tahuri ki tētahi tohunga, ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro whakapono rānei kia mārama ai ō kare ā-roto. Ka taea rānei e koe te tūhura i ngā kōwhiringa pēnei i te whakaaroaro hei kimi i te rangimārie me te whakaora ā-roto e hiahiatia ana hei whakatau i te mamae o te tāne tinihanga.

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4. Kaua e whakaurua ngā tamariki, kaua hoki e whakaurua tō whānau

Kāore he pukapuka ture mō te whakakore i te tinihanga a tāne ki a koe, engari me mahi tēnei mō tō ake hinengaro me tō whakaute i a koe anō. Ko te huarahi pai ki te whakatau i tētahi tāne tinihanga i muri i te memeha o te ohorere tuatahi ko te whakahaere i ō kare ā-roto. Whakaarohia te āhua o ō tauhohenga me te pānga ki te hunga e arohaina ana e koe, pērā i ō tamariki me tō whānau tata.

Mena kei roto ngā tamariki, ko te huarahi tino whai hua hei whakahaere i te āhuatanga i muri i tana tinihanga ko te pupuri i a rātou kia kore e kitea. Ka taea e koe te whara i a rātou ake ake mā te whakauru i a rātou ki tēnei āhuatanga pōrearea o ngā kare ā-roto, me te ngana ki te whakapoke i ō rātou tirohanga ki tō rātou pāpā. Kāore anō kia whanakehia ngā hinengaro o ngā tamariki kia mārama ai, kia tukatukahia ai hoki ēnei kaupapa me ngā kare ā-roto uaua i te huarahi tika.

Ko te tūponotanga ka mutu te marena o ō rātou mātua nā tēnei mahi ka waiho i a rātou kia mataku, kia pōuri hoki. Hei painga mō rātou, kia tata tonu ngā mea o te kāinga ki te āhua noa. Kaua e wareware ki tāu tāne tinihanga i mua i ngā hoa me te whānau. Kaua e whakauru i tō whānau whānui ki te whakatau i tēnei take. Ka puta noa he kōrero pakiwaitara, ka akiaki i te tangata kia whai taha, ā, ehara tēnā i te mea pai.

Ahakoa te āhua whakamatautau, ehara i te wā tika tēnei ki te pātai ki a koe anō, "Me pēhea te whakamamae i taku tāne tinihanga?" He pai pea te āhua i tēnei wā, engari ka pā kino noa iho ki tō whanaungatanga, tae atu ki te whanaungatanga o tō hoa rangatira ki āu tamariki me tō whānau. Kōwhiria kia noho ko koe te tangata nui ake i konei. Ae, kua waiho koe e tō tāne tinihanga kia whakama, kia mamae, kia kore e whakautehia, engari mā te whakamātau i a ia ki tana ake rongoā e kore e whakamama i tō mamae. Whakakorea ngā whakaaro mō tinihanga rapu utu te whakaiti rānei i te aroaro o te iwi. Engari, arotahi ki tō ake tukanga whakaora me tō oranga tinana.

5. Kaua e whakauru i te wahine kē

Ko tētahi o ngā tohutohu tino nui mō te whakatau i tētahi tāne tinihanga, ko te mahara kei waenganui i a kōrua ko tō tāne tēnei. Tērā pea he mea whakamatautau ki te te tū atu ki te wahine kē ā, tukuna atu ō kare ā-roto mamae me te riri ki a ia. Ae, ko te kī atu i a ia he kaiwhakangaro kāinga, me te mea kia kino ia ki a ia anō, tera pea ka pai ake te ahua i taua wā tonu. Engari he aha te take o tēnā?

E kore te whakahua ingoa kino i a ia e whakakore i te kino i pā ki tō kōrua marena. Ahakoa e mōhio ana koe ki te wahine i tinihangatia koe e tō tāne, me noho tawhiti atu i a ia. Mā te whakauru i a ia ki te take ka kino noa iho te āhua. Kei tō tāne tō pakanga, ehara i te wahine kē. Mena kei te pāngia koe e te āhuatanga pōuri o te moepuku a tō tāne i ngā wā maha, he nui ake te take hei whakaaro māu ehara i te wahine kē te raruraru i konei, engari ko tō tāne.

Ahakoa te aha, kia mau tonu tō mana. Ka taea te whakaoti i ō raruraru me te kore e whakapae i tētahi atu. Ina rongo koe i te riri me te pōuri, rapua ētahi atu huarahi hei whakapuaki i ō kare ā-roto e pehia ana e koe.

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6. Kaua e whakapae i a koe anō, kaua e tiaki i a koe anō

Kaua e pohehe, kāore mātou e kī ana he he tōu mō ngā mahi a tō tāne tinihanga. He rerekē rawa atu. Kei te tono atu mātou kia kaua e taka ki te rua rāpeti o te whakapae me te hara i a koe e uaua ana ki te whakaaro me pēhea te whakahaere i tētahi tāne tinihanga. Ahakoa te ahua rerekē, ehara i te mea onge kia whakaaro te hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia kei a koe te kawenga mō te kōwhiringa a tā rātou hoa ki te tinihanga. Anei te ahua o te whakapae i a koe anō:

• "Tērā pea, nōku te he"
• "I reira katoa ngā tohu tinihanga a te hoa. Me i kite ahau i tēnei mea e haere mai ana"
• "Kāore pea au i te tino hiahia"
• "Kāore au i te ataahua"
• "E tika ana kia whiwhi ia i te mea pai ake"
• "Me whakarērea e au taku tāne mō te tinihanga? Ki taku whakaaro nōku te he"

Ngā rangahau o nāianei mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine o Amerika E tohu ana ko te 20 ki te 40% o ngā tāne takatāpui kua marenatia ka moe tāne i waho o te marena i roto i ō rātou oranga. Kia maumahara tonu he kōwhiringa te tinihanga, ā, i te nuinga o te wā, kāore he pānga ki te hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia (ahakoa ka whakamahia pea e te tangata tinihanga ngā ngoikoretanga o te marena hei whakamana i ā rātou mahi). Nō reira, me mahi he mea pai ki a koe anō, kaua e whakapae i a koe anō. Kāore he mea i taea e koe te mahi hei ārai i tō tāne kei tinihanga i a koe. Ehara i te mea ko koe anake.

7. Tukua ia kia kōrero, kia whakarongo hoki

Me pēhea te mahi ki tāu tāne i muri i tana tinihanga? Ka kī mātou me te atawhai me te aroha ahakoa kua kī tonu tō ngākau me tō hinengaro i te riri me te mauahara ki a ia. Ae, he ngāwari ake pea te kī atu i te mahi i te wā e kī ana tō hinengaro i te tini o ngā whakaaro me ngā whakaaro - mōna, mōna, mōu ake. Ko te hoatu i te wā ki a ia kia whakapuaki i tana taha o te kōrero me te whakarongo ki a ia te mea whakamutunga pea e hiahia ana koe ki te mahi.

Heoi, ki te kore koe e tīmata i tētahi kōrero mō te kaupapa, ka noho pea koe i roto i te wā "i tinihanga taku tāne, ā, kāore e taea e au te wareware". Ina mutu te ngau o te mamae me te pōuri, tirohia te āhuatanga i tētahi atu huarahi. Mō tētahi wā, kaua e aro ki tāu tāne tinihanga, engari arotahi ki te take o tana tinihanga. He āwhina pea tēnei mēnā he kotahi noa te tinihanga, ā, kāore koe e aro ana ki tētahi take roa o te moe tahi a tāu tāne me ngā wāhine maha.

Ahakoa te riri nui e pupū ake ana i roto i a ia, e mahara ana a Cynthia Jared, te tumuaki tuarua o tētahi peeke, ki te noho tahi me tana tāne ki te inu kawhe. Ka mea ia, "Me wareware tāua mō tētahi wā poto kua marena tāua. Whakaarohia ahau hei hoa pai māu. Kōrero mai, he aha te mea i tupu?" E mahara ana a Cynthia ki tēnei kōrero makutu i roa mō ngā hāora, ā, i tino whakakore i te maha o ngā feaa mōna.

I mea mai ia ki a mātou, "Kāore au i te mōhio mēnā ka noho tahi māua ko tēnei tangata, ā muri ake nei, engari kotahi te mea i tino mōhiotia - kua tīmata ahau i te haerenga o te murunga hara." Te pātai i te tika ngā pātai ki tō hoa tinihanga mā tēnei koe e āwhina ki te mārama ki aua mea, ā, ka pai ake tōu āheinga ki te aro atu.

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8. Kaua e rapu utu

He mea whakarihariha te rapu utu, he mea koretake, ā, he kōwhiringa kino tonu – he mea nui kia maumahara koe ki tēnei ina rongo koe i te tinihanga o tō hoa rangatira. Tērā pea ka noho pōuri koe i te mamae me te whakama, ā, ka whakaaroaro koe ki ngā whakaaro pēnei i te "me pēhea te whakamamae i taku tāne tinihanga" me te "me pēhea te whara i taku tāne tinihanga". He mea maori tēnā, ā, tera pea ka pai te ahua.

Ko te mea nui ko te mahi i runga i ēnei whakaaro, kāore rānei. Ki te hiahia pono koe ki te tuku i tēnei raruraru, me te neke whakamua, kaua e moumou tō wā me tō kaha ki te whakatakoto i tētahi mahere matua hei whakamamae i tāu tāne. Engari, arotahi ki te kimi huarahi hei whakatau i tēnei āhuatanga pōuri e pā ana ki a koe me te hauora. Ki te kore e taea e koe te wikitoria i te mamae, te riri, me te mamae i puta mai i tana tinihanga, ngana ki te whakatau i te taha wairua o te tāne tinihanga.

Te tango i te ara wairua Ka taea e tēnei te āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ki ngā kare ā-roto taupatupatu me ngā kare ā-roto pōhēhē e whakararuraru ana i a koe, e kore ai e taea te titiro atu ki te taha o tō tāne. Ko ngā mahi ngāwari pēnei i te whakaaroaro me te aro nui ka taea te waiho hei punga pai i roto i ēnei wā o te pōrearea o roto. Kia kitea e koe tō whakaaro nui o roto, ka taea e ia te ārahi i a koe ki te huarahi tika.

9. Kia whakaute. Kaua e karanga ingoa kino, tēnā

He whakaute? E mōhio ana mātou kei te whakaaro koe he porangi mātou ki te whakaaro i tētahi mea pēnei i a koe e pāngia ana e tēnei āhuatanga whakamataku. Tērā pea he rite ki tētahi o ngā tohutohu tino koretake mō te mahi tahi me ngā tāne tinihanga, engari whakapono mai ki a mātou ina kī mātou he pai. Te karanga ingoa i roto i te whanaungatanga kāore rawa e āwhina te kōrero kino hei whakaiti i te hoa – ahakoa te āhua.

Ki te mea kei te rapu huarahi koe ki te whakatika i tētahi whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga, kaua e riri nui, e karanga ingoa kino, e patupatu rānei i ngā mea, engari me tuwhera te hinengaro. Kaua e whakaaro noa ki te mea i tupu, me pēhea hoki, engari me whakaaro koe kāore koe i te mōhio ki te mea i tupu, ā, me hoatu he wā ki tō tāne kia whakamārama i a ia anō.

10. Kati te noho hei whāriki tatau

Me pēhea te whakatau i tētahi tāne tinihanga? Me kōrero anō hoki tātou mō ngā huarahi hei karo i tēnei āhuatanga me ngā mea kāore e tika kia aro atu. He mea nui tonu tēnei o ngā tohutohu mō te whakatau i te tinihanga i roto i tētahi whanaungatanga, pērā i te mōhio ki ngā mea tika hei kōrero me te mahi. Kaua e whakaaro mēnā kāore koe e whakaae ki ngā mea, e kōrero rānei, ka huna te āhuatanga, ā, kāore e puta anō.

Kōrerohia, anga atu ki a ia, kaua e whakapae i a koe anō, kati te noho hei whāriki tatau. E tika ana kia whiwhi koe i te aroha, te whakaute, me te pono, ā, kia kaua e tinihangatia. Ina rongo koe i te tinihanga o tō hoa, kia kaha, kia tū pakari hoki mōu ake. Ina koa mēnā kei te whakaaro koe ki te noho tahi me te hoa tinihanga, he mea nui kia:

• Me mārama ki a ia me mutu te tinihanga
• Whakangahauhia tetahi kōrero mō te hanga anō i tō whanaungatanga kia tino mōhio koe kua mutu te tinihanga
• Whakatakotoria he rohe ki tō hoa
• Kōrerohia he aha te mea e kiia ana he takahi whakapono, ā, me whakamōhio atu ki tō hoa rangatira kāore he wāhi hei whakarerekē i taua āhuatanga.

Kia maumahara hoki, ko te whakatikatika i te whanaungatanga i muri i te tinihanga, e whakawhirinaki ana ki ana tauhohenga ki te āhuatanga. Ka taea e koe te tumanako kia houhia te rongo me te angitu o tō marena mēnā he tino pouri ia, ā, e hiahia ana ki te whakatika i ana hapa. Ki te kore ia e ngana ana ki te whakaaro, "Me pēhea te noho hei tāne pai ake i muri i te tinihanga?", he iti noa te tumanako mō tō marena ahakoa te maha o ngā whai wāhitanga ka hoatu e koe ki tō hoa.

11. Kua tae te wā mō ētahi whakatau uaua

Kua whakamātau koe i ngā mea katoa engari kāore he otinga e kitea ana? "I tinihanga taku tāne, ā, kāore e taea e au te wareware," tērā pea ka kitea e koe kei te whakaae puku koe ki a koe anō, ahakoa kei te taurite te mutunga o tō marena. Tērā pea, kāore e taea e koe te mutu te whakaaro ki a ia i te moenga me tētahi atu i ia wā ka whai wā koe ki a koe anō. Tērā pea ko te wehi kei aroha ia ki te wahine kē e kai ana i a koe i roto.

Ahakoa te take, e mōhio ana koe i a mātou, ko te kore e taea te aro atu ki te mamae o te tāne tinihanga he rite ki te noho me te mamae tonu, kore e mutu. I tēnei wā, me whakatau e koe ētahi whakatau nui.

• Kei te hiahia koe ki te hoatu i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki tō marena?
• Mena koinā, ka taea e koe te muru pono i te tinihanga a tō hoa?
• Kei te whakaaro koe ki te whakarērea tō tāne mō te tinihanga?

Kei a koe te whakatau whakamutunga, ko te tikanga. Engari ko tā mātou tohutohu mō te whakatau i tētahi tangata tinihanga, kia tere ake te whakatau. Kia whai wāhi koe ki te mimiti me te tukatuka i te ohorere me te mamae tuatahi, whakaaroarohia, ka whakatau i tāu e hiahia ana ki te mahi i muri mai. Kaua e whakaroa tonu i te whanaungatanga mēnā kāore tō ngākau i roto. Kāore he pai i puta mai i te whiu i te hōiho mate.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakaponokore: Me Whakaae Koe i Te Tinihanga Ki Tō Hoa?

12. Mea atu ki a ia kia whakamōhio atu ki a koe mō tōna wāhi noho

Hei whakahoki mai i te whakawhirinaki i muri i tō kitenga kei te tinihanga tō tāne, me matua whakarite koe i te pono me te māramatanga i roto i te whanaungatanga. Me tono atu ki a ia kia whakamōhio atu koe ki a ia mō tōna wāhi noho puta noa i te rā. Me whakamōhio atu ki a ia he mahi nui, he mahi whakangaro hoki tāna i mahi ai. Kua ngaro katoa tō whakawhirinaki i a ia. Nō reira, me mahi ia ki te hanga anō i taua whakawhirinaki mēnā kei te pirangi ia ki te whakahoki mai i a koe.

Te hanga anō i te whakawhirinaki i roto i te whanaungatanga I muri i tētahi raruraru nui pērā i te tinihanga, ehara i te mea ngāwari. Me mahi kōrua ko tō hoa rangatira i tā kōrua mahi kia angitu ai. Ahakoa me whakapau kaha ia ki te pono me te mārama, me ako koe, hei hoa rangatira kua tinihangatia, ki te tuku i te wehi me te mamae, me te kimi huarahi ki te whakapono mārire ki tō tāne.

13. Whakamātauria mō ngā mate tuku iho

Nā te mea kua kōrerohia ngā āhuatanga kare ā-roto o te whakatau i te tāne tinihanga, me tahuri tātou ki tētahi āhuatanga mahi nui o te whakatau i te tāne tinihanga. Kua moe tāne tō tāne ki tētahi atu, ā, he nui te tūponotanga kua noho tahi kōrua i tēnei wā. Ahakoa te nui o te kī a tō hoa rangatira kei te 'haumaru' ia, kaua e whakapono ki ana kupu.

Whakamātauria koe mō ngā mate tuku iho i te taatai. I a koe e rapu ana i te huarahi pai mō tō whanaungatanga i muri i te puremu, kaua e wareware ki tō hauora me tō oranga. Ka nui ake te hiranga o tēnei mena he maha ngā wā e pā ana ki tētahi tāne e moe tahi ana koe. Mā te marena ki tētahi tangata tinihanga, ka puta te tūponotanga o te tiaki i a koe anō mai i ngā mate tuku iho i waho o te matapihi. He mea pai ki a koe te rapu awhina hauora i te wā e taea ai.

Ki te mea kua whakatau koe ki te tuku i tētahi atu whai wāhitanga ki tō hoa me tō marena, he mea nui kia tono koe ki tō tāne kia whakamātauria anō hoki. Mā tēnei ka taea e kōrua te hoki anō ki te moe tāne i ngā wā katoa e rite ana kōrua, me te kore e mataku, e manukanuka rānei. Kua pakaru te ara ki te houhanga rongo i muri i te puremu i ngā raruraru kare ā-roto me ngā take whakawhirinaki, kāore koe e hiahia ki te taumahatanga tāpiri o ngā āwangawanga hauora. Nō reira, me whakamutu wawe tonu.

Te pānui e pā ana: Te Whakamā o te Hanga Anō i tētahi Hononga i Muri i te Tinihanga, me pēhea te Whakahaere

14. Arotahi ki tō oranga tinana

te hoa faaipoipo tinihanga ka pāngia koe e te awhiowhio o ngā kare ā-roto i muri i te puremu. He tūturu te mamae kare ā-roto, ā, ka pā kino ki tō hauora hinengaro mēnā kāore e tika te whakahaere. Koia te take, he mea tino nui kia kaua e warewarehia tō ake whakaoranga i a koe e ngana ana ki te rapu huarahi hei whakaora i tō whanaungatanga.

Me atawhai koe i a koe anō me te aroha – te momo e whakaatu ai koe ki tētahi hoa pai i roto i tētahi āhuatanga ōrite – me te whakarite i a koe anō kia taea ai e koe te whakaora me te tuku i te mamae e ngau ana i tō ngākau. Anei ētahi huarahi ka taea e koe te aroha ki a koe anō me te manaaki i a koe anō i a koe e ora ana i te pōuri o te tinihanga a te tangata i arohaina e koe, i whakawhirinaki hoki ki a koe me ō mea katoa:

• Haere ki te rongoā hinengaro hei whakaora i te mamae me te pōuri
• Whakaritea he wā hei mahi i ngā mahi e hari ai koe – mai i te hikoi ki te māra, te pānui pukapuka, te whakarongo waiata
• Whakapaua te wā ki ō hoa aroha
• Whakaharatauhia te aroātahi hei wawahi i te porowhita o te whakaaro nui rawa
• Whakamātauria te tuhi i tētahi rātaka hei mārama ki ō kare ā-roto
• Kai pai, me whakakori tinana hoki kia kore ai tō hauora tinana e pā kino

15. Murua ōu ake tikanga

I a koe e noho tonu ana me te tangata nāna koe i tinihanga, tera pea ka pōuri tō tāne, ka rapu murunga hara. Kia ata noho. Whakaora mārire, ā, hoatu he wā ki a koe anō. whakarite mo te murunga haraMe mārama tō hoa rangatira kāore e taea e ia te akiaki i a koe ki te muru i ō rātou hara, me te tīmata anō i te ao hou. I konei me wareware koe ki tāu tāne tinihanga, me te whakamōhio atu ki a ia me whai wā koe ki te whakaoti i tēnei raruraru i tō ake tere.

Ko tā mātou kupu tohutohu whakamutunga mō te whakatau i tētahi tāne tinihanga, kia kaha te wairua kia taea ai e koe te whakatau i ētahi whakatau uaua. Kia mōhio koe he kaha koe, ā, e tika ana kia whiwhi koe i te aroha me te whakaute katoa o te ao. Kaua e tukua tetahi kia kī atu i tētahi atu mea. Ka tinihanga ngā tāne, pērā anō hoki ngā wāhine. Kāore ngā whanaungatanga i te tino tika. Ko te mea nui, ko te āhua o tō whakatau i ēnei āhuatanga, me te tipu hei tangata pai ake i roto i ia āhuatanga. He uaua te ao, engari kei te ngana pea ki te whakaako i a tātou i tētahi akoranga.

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Te Tinihanga i roto i te Hononga Tawhiti: 18 Ngā Tohu Ngāwari

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Kāore tō koha e kiia he kaupapa aroha takohaMā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata katoa o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.