13 Ngā Mea Noa e Mahihia ana e ngā Tāne hei Whakangaro i tā Rātou Marenatanga

Ina marena te tokorua, ko te moemoeā kia mau tonu. Me whakapau kaha te tokorua kia angitu ai te marena. Heoi, tera ētahi mahi a ngā tāne hei whakangaro i te marena, ā, ka tīmata pea koe ki te whakaaro kei a koe te kawenga mō te pupuri i te whanaungatanga. He mea mōhio tēnei, engari kāore tonu koe i te tino mōhio? Tukua mātou kia āwhina.

He aha te mea e whakamate ana i te aroha i roto i te marena? Ka taea e ētahi mahi me ngā whanonga te kino ki te tokorua. Ā, i ētahi wā, ahakoa e mōhio ana, e kore rānei e mōhio ana, ka mutu ka mahi tātou i ēnei mea, ā, ka puta te mamae, te riri rānei. He tohunga hinengaro Samindara Sawant Mā te hunga e mahi ana i te ratonga kaunhera mō ngā tāne me ngā wāhine me te whakaora i te marena, ka āwhina i a tātou kia mārama ki ngā whanonga iti e whakangaro ana i te marena.

13 Ngā Mea Noa e Mahihia ana e ngā Tāne hei Whakangaro i tā Rātou Marenatanga

Kāore tetahi e kī ana he ngāwari te marena, engari kāore tetahi e kī ana ki a koe te uaua o te marena. Ko te huarahi anake e kitea ai e koe ko te wheako i a koe anō. Heoi, ko ngā marena kāore e tutuki i te angitu, kotahi te tauira e kitea ana. E ai ki tētahi rangahau, 69% o ngā whakarere i tīmatahia e ngā wāhine, ko ngā tāne ia i tīmata i te 31% o aua whakarere.

E whakamārama ana taua rangahau anō ko te take o ēnei tatauranga ko te whakaroa o te whare marena ki te aro atu ki ngā tūranga ira tangata e huri haere ana. Ko ngā wāhine tonu te hunga e mahi ana i te nuinga o ngā mahi o te whare, te tiaki tamariki, me te mahi ā-hinengaro i roto i te marena. Nā te mea he maha ake ngā wāhine e tū motuhake ana ki te taha pūtea, kei te whiriwhiri rātou kia kaua e uru ki ēnei momo marena. Kei raro nei he rārangi o ngā mea e mahia ana e ngā tāne e whakararu ana i tā rātou marena.

Mō ētahi atu māramatanga e tautokona ana e ngā tohunga, ohauru mai ki tā mātou hongere YouTube. Pāwhiri ki konei.

1. Kāore e whakapuaki whakaaro ki tā rātou hoa

I te nuinga o ngā whanaungatanga, ka memeha haere ngā kōrero i muri i tētahi wā, ā, ko tēnei te kore korero Ko tētahi o ngā mea e whakangaro ana i te marena. Kāore he tangata e kī ana me kōrero koe mō ia wā o tō rā. Engari whakapuakina ō whakaaro me ō whakaaro mō ngā mea nui.

"Nui rawa te ngenge ki te haere ki taua tina? Kōrerotia. Kāore e pai ki tāu mahi? Kōrerotia ki a ia. He ātaahua tōna āhua i roto i taua kākahu? Kōrerotia ki a ia" te whakaaro a Samindara. Kāore e taea te whakanui rawa i te hiranga o te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ko te noho puku me te whakaaro kei te mōhio, kei te mārama rānei tō hoa ki ngā mea katoa tētahi o ngā mea kino rawa atu ka mahia e ngā tāne hei whakangaro i tā rāua marena.

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2. Kāore e noho tahi me tā rātou hoa rangatira i te wā kounga

He mea nui rawa te whakapau i te wā kounga, nā reira he reo aroha te wā kounga tōna ake. Ko te whakapau i te wā kounga ehara i te mea me piri tonu koe ki tō hoa rangatira pērā i te koara pēpi 24*7. Engari, ahakoa te iti o te wā e noho tahi ana kōrua, kia tino noho ko tō hoa rangatira anake tō arotahi. Tērā pea kei te mahi kōrua i ngā pō whakatā i ia wiki, engari ki te mea kei te waea tonu kōrua i te wā katoa, kāore kōrua e whakapau ana i te wā kounga tahi.

Pērā i te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero, ka uaua haere te whakapau i te wā kounga i te roanga o te wā. Me whakarite e koe te mahi, ngā mahi o te whare, ngā herenga whānau, ngā hui PTA, me ētahi atu. Kāore e nui te wā e wātea ana. Engari ko te iti o te wā e wātea ana ki a koe, he mea nui kia whakapaua ki te hono atu ki tō hoa rangatira me ngā tamariki. Ki te kore e taea e te tāne te mahi i tēnā, he tohu tēnā o te tāne kino, o te pāpā kino hoki.

3. Ka mate te marena i te hiahia whaiaro

Ahakoa te whakataurite i te mahi, ngā tamariki, me te whānau, he mea maori te whakaaro ko koe te mea whakamutunga ki tō hinengaro. Koinei te wāhi e uru mai ai te hoa rangatira ki te ao. Me tautoko te hoa mahi koe i te wā e pau ana tō hinengaro, e ngenge rawa ana rānei. Kāore he mea e mamae ake ana i te wā e mōhio ana koe ko koe te mea whakamutunga kei roto i te hinengaro o tō hoa.

I hoha a Clara, 32 tau te pakeke, nō Wisconsin, ki te āhua uaua o tana tāne. Ahakoa te wāhi hararei, ngā whāriki moenga, te tae o ngā pakitara, te kai rānei i kainga e rāua, i rite katoa ki tana hiahia. "E hiahia ana taku tāne ki ngā mea katoa i runga i tana ake ara, ā, kāore i te nui aku whakaaro," tana kōrero. "I tīmata ahau ki te whakaaro kāore he aha, ā, ka uru ahau ki te pouri. Waimarie, i meinga ahau e taku kaiārahi kia kōrero ki taku tāne mō tēnei mea, ā, inaianei kua kite ahau i a ia e whakapau kaha ana ki te whakarerekē i ana huarahi."

4. Te ngana ki te whakatika i tā rātou hoa rangatira

He mahi te tipu tahi tohu mō te whanaungatanga hauora. Ā, ina tautoko tō hoa i a koe, ā, ina āwhina i a koe kia tipu hei putanga pai ake o koe, kāti kāore he mea anō e hiahiatia ana e koe. Heoi anō, he rārangi angiangi kei waenganui i te akiaki i tō hoa kia whakapau kaha ki te mahi me te whakahē i ngā mea katoa mōna. Engari, he maha ngā wā ka wareware rawa ngā tāne i tēnei rārangi, ā, ka waiho hei tetahi o ngā mahi mamae a ngā tāne hei whakangaro i te marena.

Kāore he tangata e tino tika ana. Ā, ko tēnei huinga o ngā hapa me ngā tino pai e hanga ana i tētahi tangata ahurei. Ahakoa he pai te whakatenatena i tō hoa kia noho hei putanga pai rawa atu o rātou anō, ko te tumanako kia piri rātou ki tō tirohanga mō te tino pai, me te tohu tonu i ō rātou ngoikoretanga he tikanga e whakangaro ana i te marena. Ka pāngia te whakapono o te hoa rangatira e pāngia ana e te mate.

5. Te kore aro ki ngā āwangawanga o tō rātou hoa

He āwangawanga tō tātou katoa. Ahakoa he āhua, he tūnga pūtea, he whakaaro nui rānei ki a tātou anō. Ki te whakapuaki mai tō hoa ki a koe mō ōna āwangawanga, ā, hei utu mō te whakamanahia, ka tawaihia, ka arohia rānei, ka pakaru katoa ngā mea i ēnei whanonga a te tāne.

Mā te whakamana i ngā kare ā-roto me ngā wheako o tō hoa ka āwhina i te hanga haumaru aronganui i roto i te whanaungatanga. Ka hanga ake i te mana o tō hoa rangatira, ā, ka kaha ake te hononga i waenganui i a kōrua. Mā te kore aro, te whakakahore, te whakaiti rānei i ō rāua āwangawanga ka mate te aroha i roto i te marena. He maha ngā wā ka takaro ngā tāne i tēnei, hei whakatoi noa i a koe, engari koinei ngā mea ka mahia e ngā tāne hei whakangaro i te marena.

6. Kāore e whakauru i ngā hoa rangatira ki ngā whakataunga pūtea

E ai ki a Paula, he kaiako 25-tau te pakeke, "He maha ngā tauira o raruraru pūtea i roto i taku marena. Ko tāku tāne e hiahia ana kia rite ngā mea katoa ki tāna ake huarahi. Kāore ia e pai ki te kōrero mō āna pūtea, ā, ka tino āwangawanga pea. Kāore au i te mōhio ki ā māua kaute nama, mēnā he nama āna, mēnā rānei me utu e au ana nama.

"Ina ngana ahau ki te kōrero i tēnei, ka tere tana whakamutu i taku kōrero, ka mea mai kāore au e hiahia ki te whakararuraru i a ia ki ēnei momo pātai. Ka kino ake tōku wairua. Mā ēnei mahi a taku tāne ka pakaru katoa ngā mea."

E kī ana a Samindara, "He mōhio ngā wāhine ki ngā āhuatanga pūtea. Ā, i ēnei rā, he motuhake hoki rātou, ā, he kaha ki te whakatau i ā rātou ake whakatau. Ko te whakaiti i a rātou mā te kore e whakauru i a rātou ki ngā whakatau pūtea tētahi o ngā mahi nui a ngā tāne hei whakangaro i te marena." Ko ngā wāhine tonu te hunga matua ki te whakahaere i ngā whakapaunga o te whare me te penapena moni i te nuinga o ngā kāinga. Ko te whakaaro kāore e taea e rātou te whakahaere i ngā pūtea ehara i te mea he hē anake, engari he whakahāwea i te ira tangata anō hoki.

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7. Ka mate te marena i te iti o te kounga o te taatai

Ahakoa ehara te taatai ​​i te paearu tino nui hei whakahaere i te whanaungatanga, e whakaatu ana ngā rangahau he harikoa, he kaha ake hoki ngā whanaungatanga o ngā tāne me ngā wāhine he pai te oranga taatai. Mā te whanaungatanga piripono ka pai te oranga taatai, ā, mā te taatai ​​ka pai ake te whanaungatanga piripono i roto i te marena. Heoi, i roto i ngā whanaungatanga roa, ka heke te auau o te taatai, ā, i ētahi wā, ka noho hoha. Engari he mea nui kia mau tonu te mura o te aroha.

"Me kōrero te tokorua ki a rāua anō mō ​​te āhua e taea ai e rāua te kia pai ake te aroha "ā, ngana ki te whakakoi i ngā mea i roto i te rūma moe," te whakaaro a Samindara. "He maha ngā tāne me ngā wāhine e kite ana i te moe tāne, te moe wahine, he mea e tika ana kia mutu. Ka mutu tā rātou aro ki ngā hiahia me ngā ahuareka o tā rātou hoa. I te mea kua makona rātou, kāore rātou e aro nui ki te makona o tā rātou hoa. Ko tēnei momo whakaaro te mea e whakangaro ana i te marena."

8. Te kore e tango kawenga

Tērā pea ko tētahi o ngā mea tino kino ka mahia e ngā tāne hei whakangaro i tā rāua marena, ko te kore e tango i te kawenga. Ahakoa he kawenga mō ā rāua mahi, mō ngā mahi o te whare, mō te whakatipu tamariki tika rānei. ako I te tau 2019, i kōrerohia i te toharite o te tau 2018, 20% o ngā tāne i mahi i ngā mahi o te whare, ki te whakaritea ki te 49% o ngā wāhine. Ka mate te marena i tēnei momo whanonga kore aro me te aroha. Kua nui te panonitanga o ngā tūranga ira tangata i roto i tō tātou hapori, ā, me mau tonu te tāne ki aua tūranga.

"E whakapae ana taku tāne i ahau mō āna whanonga kino," te kī a Julia, he kaikaute 36-tau te pakeke nō Edmonton. "Kua take riri "engari kāore e pai ki te tiki āwhina. E mea ana ia ko au te take i ngaro ai tōna mana whakahaere." E whakaae ana a Julia kei te haere tonu ia i runga i te anga hua manu nā tana whanonga. E ngā tāne, mā te kore e tango i te kawenga mō ō raruraru ka mate te marena, nō reira me whakaae pea koe ki ō mahi, ki te kore rānei e mahi i aua mahi.

9. He tino pānga ngā kanohi hurihuri o ngā tāne ki tā rāua marena

te te whakamāramatanga o te pono i roto i te whanaungatanga He rerekē te āhua o te tangata i ia tangata. Ki ētahi tāngata, he tinihanga te puremu ā-ira, ā, ki ētahi, he tinihanga anō hoki te kōrero ki tētahi o tō ira tangata e pai ana ki a koe. Ahakoa te whakamāramatanga o te tinihanga, he mamae te kitenga i tō tāne e titiro ana ki tētahi atu. Ka rongo koe i te kore e maiohatia, ka kore hoki koe e māia. Mā te kite i ēnei mahi a tō tāne ka pakaru katoa ngā mea o te whanaungatanga.

He mea ātaahua te titiro a ngā tāne i te nuinga o te wā, ā, ehara i te mea miharo ka kukumehia te wahine ataahua e ō rātou kanohi. Ahakoa ngā wāhine, ka miharo rātou ki ngā tāne ātaahua. Heoi, ko te titiro matatau atu ki tētahi tangata, tae noa ki te tahuri o tō mahunga ki te titiro tonu atu ki a rātou i mua i tō hoa rangatira, he mea whakapouri tēnei mō te hoa rangatira. Tērā pea he whanonga huna tēnei, ā, kāore pea koe e mōhio kei te mahi koe i tēnā, engari ko ēnei tikanga te mea e whakangaro ana i te marena.

10. Ngā whakataunga taupatupatu kino

Ki te mea e rua ngā tāngata e whai wāhi ana, i ētahi wā ka puta he rerekētanga whakaaro ka hua ake he pakanga. He mea noa iho. He mea hauora hoki nā te mea ka pai ake te mārama ki te tangata kē. Ki te tirohia i te tirohanga tika, ka whai wāhi koe ki te tipu hei tangata. Heoi, ko ngā tauira whakatau pakanga kino he rerekē te pānga.

E mea ana a Samindara, "I ētahi wā, ka huri ngā pakanga hei pakanga kaha, kāore tetahi o ngā hoa e pai ki te hoki whakamuri. Tērā ētahi pakanga ka riria e te hoa tetahi atu. Ā, tērā ētahi i muri i te pakanga, ka whakaaro pea koe, "Ka whakapae tonu taku tāne i ahau mō āna whanonga kino". Kāore e tino whakatauhia aua pakanga. Ka waiho koe me te kore mutunga, ā, ka piki haere tonu te riri."

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11. Te whakahaere kino i te whānau me ngā hoa

E kīia ana ko ngā marena ka puta i waenganui i ngā whānau e rua, ā, he pono tonu tēnā. Ko rātou te hunga tuatahi e haere atu ana tātou ina pā mai he raruraru ki a tātou. Heoi, mā te whakauru i te whānau ki ngā mea katoa, tae atu ki ngā tautohe, ngā āwangawanga iti rānei, ka puta he raruraru i waenganui i te tokorua.

"Kua tino rerekē te hanganga o te whānau, ā, inaianei kei te tono ngā wāhine kia whakaaturia te aroha, te whakaute, me te manaaki ki ō rātou mātua, pērā i tana e tumanakohia ana ki ana hungawai," te whakamārama a Samindara. "E hiahia ana ia kia whai wāhi tana tāne ki te tiaki i tōna taha whānau. Engari, kei te mārama tonu ngā tāne ki tēnei āhuatanga, ā, kei te noho hei tauira whānui tēnei o ngā mea e whakangaro ana i te marena."

12. Te taniwha matomato o te hae

Ko tētahi mea e mahia ana e te tini o ngā tāne e whakamate ana i te aroha i roto i te marena ko te hae i ngā wā katoa. Kaua e pohehe, kāore he tangata e tono ana kia kaua e aro ki tāu wahine. He pai te āhua ina tiaki tō tāne i a koe, ā, ka hae ia i ētahi wā. Ka meinga koe kia hiahiahia ki tētahi taumata. Heoi, ina nui rawa atu tēnei mana pupuri, ka tino pōrearea.

I mōhio a Mabel, he kaiwhakaahua 31-tau te pakeke, he rangatira tana tāne mōna, ā, kāore ia i pai ki tana noho tahi me ngā tāne – he mea nui tēnei nā te mea he nui tana mahi. I tumanako ia ka mutu tana āwangawanga i roto i te wā. Engari i tana tīmatanga ki te haere ki ana whakaahua me te whakaoho i te ngangau i ana mahi, i mōhio ia me mahi ia i ngā mahi tino nui. E ai ki a Mabel, "He āhua kore e pai te hae ki tetahi." Heoi, koinei ngā mea e mahia ana e ngā tāne hei whakangaro i tā rātou marena.

13. Mā te noho mārire i roto i tā rāua whanaungatanga ka mate te marena

Kāore he mea e nui atu ana te kino mō tētahi whanaungatanga i te tangata kua riro hei ngākau māhaki i roto i tana whanaungatanga me tōna whānau. Kāore ia e noho tahi me koe, ā, kāore ia e pātai ana mōu, mō ngā tamariki rānei. Ina kōrero koe ki a ia mō tō rā, mō ngā mea rānei i tupu ki ngā tamariki i te kura, ka riri, ka kore rānei ia e aro. He tohu tēnei nō te tāne me te matua kino.

He pono, ko te hunga anake e kore e arohia e koe ko te hunga e tata ana ki a koe. Ā, ina pai koe ki roto i tō whānau, he mea noa te noho mārire o te tangata. Engari ko te kī ki te whanaungatanga angitu ko te pupuri i te taurite. Ki te mea he tāne koe, ā, kāore koe e pai ki te puta i tō rohe whakamarie mō ō hoa aroha, kia mahara ko aua tāne ka whakangaro i ngā mea katoa.

Nā, anei rā, he rārangi o ngā mea ka mahia e ngā tāne hei whakangaro i tā rātou marena. Mena kua moe koe i tētahi tāne pēnei, kua tae ki te wā kia kōrero mai i te ngākau ki te ngākau. Heoi, ki te mea ko koe 'ko' taua tāne, kua tae ki te wā kia tū ake, kia tīmata ki te mahi i mua i te kore e taea te whakatika i te kino.

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