12 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato o te Hoa Karekau e Pūmau ana te Hinengaro, me pēhea te whakatau

Kei te whakaatu tō hoa i ngā tohu o te wahine/tāne koretake o te kare ā-roto? Tērā pea kua mate ō rātou mātua i ēnei rā tata nei, kāore anō rānei kia ora i ngā mamae o te tamarikitanga. Tērā pea, ko te ao whānui, kāore i te ngāwari mō rātou.

Heoi, i tuhituhi te kaituhi a James Dobson, "Ko te hunga tino harikoa ehara i te mea ko te hunga i ngāwari te ao mō rātou. Ko te pumau o te kare ā-roto ka puta mai i tētahi waiaro. Ko te kore e tukua ki te pouri me te wehi, ahakoa kei te rere ngā kapua mangu i runga ake. Ko te whakapai ake i ngā mea ka taea te whakapai ake, me te whakaae ki ngā mea e kore e taea te karo."

Heoi, he tirohanga pai rawa atu te kōrero i runga ake nei mō ngā uauatanga kāore i te tino rite. He uaua rawa atu te whakatau i te koretake o te kare ā-roto i tēnā. Nā reira, kua tahuri mātou ki te tohunga hinengaro a Ridhi Golechha (Tohu Paerua i roto i te Hinengaro), he tohunga ki te tohutohu hauora tinana, hinengaro, me te kare ā-roto, kia whiwhi ai koe i ngā māramatanga hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama me pēhea te whakatau i te koretake o te kare ā-roto o tō hoa.

He aha te tikanga mēnā he pōrearea te hinengaro o tētahi?

E ai ki ngā rangahau , ko te Mate Tūroa Ā-Whare (EUPD), e mōhiotia ana ko te Mate Tūroa Ā-Whare (BPD), he mate hinengaro e tino pā kino ana ki te kaha o te tangata ki te whakahaere i ōna kare ā-roto.

Ka taea e tēnei ngaronga o te mana whakahaere kare ā-roto te whakanui ake i te hiahia ohorere, te pā ki ngā whakaaro o te tangata mō rātou anō, me te pā kino ki ō rātou whanaungatanga ki ētahi atu. Heoi, ehara i te mea ko te hunga katoa e kore e pumau te kare ā-roto e pāngia ana e te EUPD, e ngā mate rite rānei. Engari ko te hunga katoa e pāngia ana e ngā mate tuakiri, tera pea ka noho pūmau ō rātou kare ā-roto.

E mea ana a Ridhi , "Ina kore he whānau whai hua i a koe e tipu ake ana, ka ako koe i aua tauira i roto i tō ao kare ā-roto. Hei tauira, mēnā i pāngia tētahi tamaiti e te tukino/te whakarere, i kite rānei i ngā pānga o te wehenga o ngā mātua, i tipu ake rānei me tētahi mātua i raru ki te waranga, ka ako rātou i ēnei tauira mai i te tīmatanga, ā, ka whakaaro rātou he ara noho noa aua tauira." Nā tēnei, ka tae tātou ki ngā tohu o tētahi wahine/tāne koretake o te kare ā-roto.

12 Ngā Tohu Whakatūpato o tētahi Hoa Kāore i te Pūmau te Hinengaro

E ai ki ngā rangahau , ko te kore pumau o te kare ā-roto/te kore pakari e tohu ana i te korenga o te tangata ki te whakawhanake i tētahi taumata o te mana motuhake/te whakawhirinaki ki a ia anō, ā, ka puta ko te whakamahinga o ngā tauira whakarerekētanga kore pakari me te kore e taea te pupuri i te taurite i raro i te ahotea. Me titiro tātou ki ētahi atu tohu o te tangata kore pumau o te kare ā-roto:

1. Te riri hē

E kī ana a Ridhi, "Ko te riri hē tetahi o ngā tohu o te hoa koretake o te kare ā-roto. Kāore rātou e mōhio me pēhea te whakahaere i ō rātou kare ā-roto. Nō reira, he ngawari noa iho tā rātou riri i ia rā." Engari, he aha rātou i riri ai?

E whakaatu ana ngā rangahau ko te pūtake whanaketanga o ngā raruraru riri o tō hoa ka taea te whai i ngā kararehe e whakarite ana mō te whakaekenga hei ārai i ngā hoa whawhai. Ko te riri he urupare ki ngā tūmomo mōrearea mō te oranga, ā, he mahi hei pehi i ngā kare ā-roto pērā i te wehi nui, te mamae, me te whakama.

He Pānui e Pā Ana: Tō Aratohu ki te Whakatau i tētahi Tangata Riri i roto i tētahi Hononga

2. Ngā whakaaro whakamomori

I tuhituhi tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit mō ngā kare ā-roto kāore i te pumau, "Te whakawehi ki te whakamomori i a au anō, te mahi wairangi i te riri, kātahi ka uru ki te huringa whakama mō taua mea me te rongoā i a au anō ki ngā rongoā, pērā anō. I ētahi wā ka ngana ahau ki te whakamomori i a au anō engari, kāore i angitu."

Ina hoki, e ai ki ngā rangahau he nui ake te maha o ngā whara i a rātou anō (pēnei i te tapahi i a rātou anō) me ngā hiahia whakamomori i te hunga whai mate tuakiri rohe i te taupori whānui.

3. Te iti o te kawenga 

E whakamārama ana a Ridhi, "Ina kore tetahi e whakaae ki te kawenga mō āna whanonga/hē i roto i ngā whanaungatanga , ā, ka whakapae tonu i te tangata kē, he tohu nui tēnā kāore ia i te pakari, ā, kāore e taea te tū atu."

"Kāore e taea e rātou te whakaaro ka taea e rātou te hē. Nō reira, he pūtake o waho tonu tā rātou hei whakapae. Hei tauira, he hoa rangatira, he hoa mahi rānei, tae atu ki ngā āhuatanga o waho, pērā i te waka e raru ana. Kāore rātou e waiho i tētahi wāhi hei whakapai ake/hei tipu ake, me te kore e mōhio kei roto te raruraru, ehara i te mea kei waho."

4. Ngā whakamātautau tonu hei tirotiro i a koe

He aha ngā tohu o te wahine kāore i te pumau te kare ā-roto? I tuhituhi tētahi kaiwhakamahi Reddit , "Kei te whakamātautau tonu rātou i a koe. I whakaipoipo ahau i tētahi kōtiro, ā, i "whakamātautau" i ahau mā te kōrero mō te tūtaki ki aku hoa tāne o mua, te ngaronga o tana paheketanga, te tīmata anō i tana taupānga whakaipoipo, me ētahi atu. Hei whakamātautau i taku tauhohenga."

5. Te kore e taea te tango i ngā whakahē me te whai hua

E mea ana a Ridhi, "Ki te kore e taea e te tangata te aro atu ki ngā whakahee whai hua, ā, ka riri, ka tūkino rānei, ko te tikanga he iti te mōhiotanga kare ā-roto /te pakeketanga kare ā-roto. Me rapu āwhina rātou kia mārama ai he pai te hē, me te ako ki te whakaae ki ngā whakahee whai hua."

6. Ngā whanonga āwangawanga

He aha ngā tohu e kore e pumau te kare ā-roto o te tangata? E ai ki ngā rangahau , ko ngā tohu o te BPD ko ngā whanonga ohorere, ā, he maha ngā wā ka kino, pērā i:

• Te whakapau moni nui
• Moepurangi huatau
• Te tukinotanga i te taonga
• He taraiwa whakaharahara
• Kai kai Binge

Pānui e pā ana: 8 Ngā Huarahi hei Āwhina i tō Hoa kia Mahue i te Waranga Tarukino

7. Me whakamanawa tonu

E mea ana a Ridhi, "Ki te kore rātou e mōhio me pēhea te whakahaere i ō rātou mamae/manukanuka, he tohu tēnei kei te pōrearea te hinengaro o te tangata. Tērā pea ka puta mai rātou he rapu tonu rātou i te whakamarie/i ngā whakautu."

8. Whakamarama

Ko ngā kōrero e whai ake nei mō te hauhautanga e tohu ana i ngā tohu whanaungatanga kore pumau:

• "He tangata pōrangi koe. He whakaaro noa iho koe i ngā mea katoa"
• "I kōrero tāua mō tēnei. Kāore koe i te mahara?"
• "Kāore e taea e koe te tango i tētahi katakata māmā noa iho"
• "E whakahe ana ahau i a koe nā te mea e aroha ana ahau ki a koe"
• "Kei te nui rawa ō whakaaro i ngā wā katoa"

9. Te kore o te pono

Kei te rapu koe i tētahi atu tohu o tētahi hoa e kore e pumau te kare ā-roto? Ko te kore whakapau kaha , te kore rānei e taea te pupuri i tā rātou herenga he tohu whakatūpato tino tika. E whakamārama ana a Ridhi, "Kāore rātou e pupuri i ā rātou herenga, tera pea ka wareware, ka kore rānei e puta mai." Ko ngā take pea ko te manukanuka pāpori mau tonu, ko te iti rānei o te whakaaro ki a rātou anō.

10. Te wehe atu i te tangata ake

He aha atu ngā tohu o te tangata raruraru? E ai ki ngā rangahau , ka puta pea te EUPD/BPD hei kare ā-roto o te wehenga, pērā i te kare ā-roto e wehea ana i a ia anō, te mātakitaki i a ia anō mai i waho o te tinana, ngā kare ā-roto rānei o te koretake. Nō reira, ki te mea kei te pāngia tō hoa e te momotu nui i a ia anō, he tohu pea tēnei o te kore pumau o te kare ā-roto.

11. Te whanonga wera me te whanonga makariri

E kī ana a Ridhi, " Ko te whanonga wera me te whanonga makariri tētahi o ngā tohu o te tangata raruraru." Koia te take he mea tino nui kia tirohia e rātou tō rātou momo piripono. Ko te hunga he momo piripono koretake ka huri i waenga i ngā taumata tino rerekē o te wairua. I tētahi wā, ka tino whakawhirinaki rātou. I tētahi wā, ka whakahē rātou. I tētahi wā, ka whakaatu rātou i te hiahia nui. I tētahi wā, ka tino wehe atu rātou, ka noho makariri, ka kuware.

12. Te kore o te aroha

Ko te kore aro ki ō raruraru, me te kī he 'iti noa iho', he tohu ēnei o te wahine he koretake te kare ā-roto. Ka ngana tonu ia ki te whakanui i a koe, mā te whakaatu kei te pāngia ia e ngā wero nui ake.

Waihoki, ko te tangata kāore i te tino pumau te kare ā-roto, kāore pea ia e aro ki tāu e kōrero nei. Ko ia kōrero mōu ka mutu hei kōrero mō rātou. Me pēhea te āwhina i tētahi tangata pēnei? Kia rapu tātou.

Me pēhea te āwhina i tētahi hoa e pōrearea ana te ngākau?

Ka taea e te whanaungatanga pumau te āwhina i tō hoa rangatira ki te whakaora i ō rāua whanaungatanga pumau o mua. Engari kāore e taea e te katoa te whakahaere i tētahi whanaungatanga pēnei. Nō reira, pātai atu ki a koe anō/ki tō kaiwhakaora hinengaro mēnā kei a koe te pumau, ā, kei a koe ngā pūkenga kare ā-roto e hiahiatia ana. Ki te pērā koe, anei ētahi tohutohu hei āwhina i te tangata kāore anō kia pakari te kare ā-roto:

1. Whakarongo ki a ratou

Tukua rātou kia whakapuaki mai i ngā mea ki a koe, i runga i tō rātou ake tere. Kaua e akiaki i a rātou ki te whakapuaki i tētahi mea kāore rātou e hiahia. Kaua hoki e whakapae noa, e tuku rānei i ngā otinga/tātaritanga ki a rātou. Ehara koe i te kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro whakangungu.

Pānui e pā ana: He aha te tikanga o te 'Pupuri Wāhi mō tētahi', ā, me pēhea te mahi?

Heoi, hei tangata e manaaki ana i a rātou, ka taea e koe te akiaki i a rātou kia kai hauora, kia moe pai, kia whakakorikori tinana i ia rā. He huarahi tino tika ēnei hei whakapai ake i te hauora hinengaro. Kaua hoki e inu nui me rātou.

2. Whakatenatenahia rātou kia rapu āwhina

Kei reira ngā tākuta, ngā tohunga hinengaro, ngā tohunga hinengaro, ngā raina āwhina, ngā huihuinga, me te tini o ngā rauemi hauora hinengaro. Ka taea e koe te āwhina i a rātou ki te hono atu ki ngā tohunga, ki te kī atu rānei kia kōrero rātou ki tētahi kua whakangungua ki te whakahaere i ngā take kare ā-roto. Mā te haere ki te whakaora hinengaro ka taea e rātou te noho pai, te marino, me te hauora. Mena kei te rapu koe i ngā rauemi hei āwhina i tō hoa rangatira e kore e tau te kare ā-roto, kei konei ngā kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro mohio me te wheako o te rōpū Bon obology māu.

Āwhina i a rātou kia mau tonu te maimoatanga. Me akiaki tonu i a rātou kia haere tonu te maimoatanga mēnā ka whakatau rātou ki te tīmata. Mēnā kei te hiahia rātou ki te whakamutu/te tango rongoā, me kī atu kia kōrero tuatahi rātou ki tētahi tohunga whai raihana. Ka taea hoki e koe te kōrero ki a rātou te nui o te rerekētanga kua kitea e koe i roto i a rātou i te wā o te maimoatanga.

3. Waihangahia he papa tirohanga ngātahi

E kī ana a Ridhi, "Mō ngā whanaungatanga kore whakahihiri, he pai te waihanga tahi i tētahi papa tirohanga/te whakamahere i te heke mai. Noho tahi, ka pātai ki a koutou anō, "Kei hea koe e hiahia ana kia kite i a koe i roto i ngā tau e toru/rima/tekau mai i tēnei rā?"

"Kia waihangahia he papa tirohanga, ka waihangahia he hihiri mō tētahi whanaungatanga ka taea e kōrua te mahi tahi. Ka taea te whakakore i te wairua pouri e te huarahi pai ki te ao. Nō reira, mā te whai i tētahi mea hei tirotiro i ia rā ka āwhina i te ngana ki te whakaaro noa i roto i tō mahunga, kei reira kē te nui o te koretake o te kare ā-roto me te mataku."

4. Hoatu he whakamanawa ki a rātou 

Ki te taea e koe te hono atu ki ngā tohu o te whanaungatanga kore pumau, kāti he tika te kī kei te raru/kei te pāngia tō hoa. Nō reira, me noho te aroha ki runga rawa i tō rārangi. Ka taea e koe te whakamahi i ēnei pātai/kīanga whakatenatena:

• "He aha koe te kōrero mai ai ki ahau mō ōu kare ā-roto?"
• "E hiahia ana ahau ki te whakamōhio atu ki a koe e whakaute ana ahau i ō kare ā-roto"
• "E mārama ana ahau. Ehara i te mea ngāwari te pā ki ngā mea e pā ana ki a koe"

Kia marino, kia kōrero hoki i ngā mea hei whakamarie i tō hoa . Ka taea e koe te kī atu, "E aroha ana ahau ki a koe, kāore au e haere ki hea" me "Kāore he aha. Kei konei ahau hei tautoko i a koe. Ka taea e tāua te wikitoria i tēnei." Engari i te wa ano, he mea nui anō hoki te aro ki ō kare ā-roto.

Me pēhea te whakatau i te noho tahi me tētahi hoa e pōrearea ana te ngākau?

Anei ētahi tohutohu māu mō te hunga e pāngia ana e te koretake o ngā kare ā-roto:

• Te tiaki-whaiaro: Tiakina koe mā te yoga/whakaaroaro, mā te kōrero rānei ki ō hoa i a koe e inu tī ana, e kaukau ana rānei (ka noho haumaru koe mō tētahi atu mēnā he pakari tō tinana)
• Tautuhia nga rohe: Whakatakotoria he rohe mā te kī atu, "Kāore au e pai kia hamamatia ahau. E hiahia ana ahau kia mārama ki tō whakaaro. Engari ehara tēnei i te wā tika". Ka taea hoki e koe te kī atu, "E mārama ana ahau kei te pouri koe. Engari kei te huri haere taku aro i tēnei wā. Ka taea e tāua te hono anō i tētahi wā pai ake?"
• Kia mōhio ki te whakamahi i te hau, ā, kia tū atu ki te ārai i te hauātanga: Ki te mea kei te whakamātauria koe e te hau hau, KAUA rawa (ahakoa mō tētahi hēkona) e whakapono kei te hē tetahi mea i a koe, kei te hiahia rānei koe ki te huri kia iti ake ai tā rātou mahi tukino.

Kia tautokohia rātou, engari kia kaha ki te kōrero ki tētahi tohunga hauora hinengaro. Ka taea hoki e koe te hauhake i ngā hua o te rongoā. Mā te mamae puku ka pā kino pea ki tō hauora tinana me tō hauora hinengaro. Kaua e mataku ki te rapu i te āwhina e hiahiatia ana e koe hei whakatau i tētahi hoa e kore e pumau te kare ā-roto.

Hei whakamutunga, ki te whakamātau koe i ēnei mea katoa, ā, kāore tonu e angitu, kaua e whakama mō te whakarērea o tō hoa. Ehara i te mea kino te tiaki i a koe anō. Ko te tiaki i tō hauora hinengaro he tohu o te aroha ki a koe anō. Kia tino wehe koe i te whanaungatanga i tētahi wāhi tūmatanui hei whakarite i tō haumaru, ā, me whakapuaki i ngā mea katoa ki a rātou me te ngākau pono me te pono. Kaua e whakaaro ka ngāwari te wehenga.

Kia maumahara hoki, ehara tō mahi i te whakarerekē i tō hoa, i te "whakatika" rānei i a rātou. Ko tāu noa iho he āwhina i a rātou, me te whakarite i tētahi taiao mahi tahi, kaua ki te whakahaere. I taua wā anō, kāore koe e hiahia kia ngohengohe, kia mataku hoki i tō hoa. Whakautehia tō hoa engari kia kaha hoki te kōrero kia whiwhi ai koe i te whakaute e tika ana māu.

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He aha te momo piri koretake i roto i ngā whanaungatanga? Ngā take me ngā tohu

Ehara tō takoha i te koha aroha . Mā tēnei ka taea e Bonobology te kawe tonu mai i ngā mōhiotanga hou me ngā mōhiotanga hou ki a koe i roto i tā mātou whainga ki te āwhina i te tangata o te ao ki te ako me pēhea te mahi i tetahi mea.

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