Chikondi ndi chikhumbo zimakhala zovuta kuzisiya, mosasamala kanthu za mawonekedwe awo. Kuthetsa chibwenzi sikuli kosokoneza ngati kusudzulana, kupatula ngati simukuyenera kulipira chindapusa chalamulo. Koma mtengo wamalingaliro wothetsa chibwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wokwatira, kapena kuthetsa chibwenzi ndikukhalabe mabwenzi, ukhoza kukhala ulendo wovuta komanso wovuta.
Momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda nthawi zonse lidzakhala funso lopanda mayankho osavuta. Komabe, kuzindikira pang'ono kwa akatswiri kungathandize kusalaza njira. Tinafunsa mphunzitsi wa ubale ndi ubale Shivanya Yogmayaa (ovomerezeka padziko lonse mu njira zochiritsira za EFT, NLP, CBT, REBT, ndi zina), omwe amagwira ntchito zosiyanasiyana zaupangiri wa maanja, kuti afotokoze momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi popanda kudzipatula nokha.
N'chifukwa Chiyani Kuthetsa Chibwenzi Ndi Munthu Amene Umamukonda Ndikovuta Kwambiri?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
“Chizoloŵezi chilichonse chimene chimasangalatsa n’chovuta kuchisiya,” Shivanya akufotokoza. “Pali kugwirizana kwachindunji pakati pa kuchuluka kwa chisangalalo ndi vuto la kuthetsa kumwerekera kumeneko.” Munthu ayenera kuzindikira ululu wa kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumam’konda, kuyambira pachiyambi.
Iye akuwonjezera kuti: “Kuli mkangano wamaganizo kwa onse oloŵetsedwa m’chibwenzi, mosasamala kanthu kuti anasonkhana kaamba ka zosoŵa zakuthupi kapena zamaganizo.
“Kwa mnzawo amene anachitapo chibwenzicho, liwongo limakhalaponso pamene akufuna kuthetsa chibwenzicho n’kupitiriza kupulumutsa banja lawo.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Chitani Zinthu Zothetsa Ukwati
Momwe Mungathetsere Chibwenzi Ndi Kupulumutsa Ukwati Wanu
Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya zochitika ndipo kutha kwawo kumadalira kutalika ndi kuya kwa zomwe zikuchitika. Pali zochitika zazifupi ndi zochitika zomwe zimatha kupitilira chaka chimodzi. Nkhani pamene onse awiri ali pabanja, ndi amene ali m’banja limodzi lokha. Palinso zochitika zomwe palibe amene ali pabanja, koma mmodzi wa onse awiri ali mu chiyanjano chokhalitsa.
Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wantchito mnzako n'kosiyana ndi kungothetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wankhanza. simumagwira nawo ntchito. Kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi bwana wanu kungatenge njira zosiyanasiyana kusiyana ndi kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima.
Kuti mumve zambiri zamakanema akatswiri chonde lembani ku Youtube Channel yathu. Dinani apa.
Shivanya akulimbikitsa kudzifunsa mafunso ovuta awa musanayambe ulendo wothetsa chibwenzi ndikupulumutsa banja lanu.
- Kodi mumakonda mnzanu?
- Kodi mumanong'oneza bondo?
- Kodi mwathetsa kale chibwenzicho m'maganizo mwanu?
- Kodi ndinu wokonzeka kumvetsetsa zomwe zinakupangitsani kuti mubere ndikusintha maganizo ndi zochita zanu?
- Kodi ndinu okonzeka kumvetsetsa zomwe wokondedwa wanu wathandizira pazochitikazo ndipo ndinu wokonzeka kumukhululukira?
- Kodi ndinu okonzeka kuyika ndalama ndi kudzimana chifukwa cha banja lanu?
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Momwe Mungakhululukire Bwenzi Lanu Lobera, Ndipo Muyenera Kutero
"Ngati yankho lanu kwa onse, kapena ambiri mwa mafunsowa ali otsimikiza, ndiye kuti pali mwayi wothetsa chibwenzicho ndi kuti ukwati wanu ukhoza kupulumutsidwa. Kumbukirani kuti njira yokhayo yopita patsogolo ndiyo kukhululukira, kuiwala ndi kupitiriza, "akutero Shivanya.
“Cholinga ndi kubwezeretsanso chikondi ndi kudzipereka muubwenzi wanu kuti nonse mudzakhale ndi ndalama zambiri. Osataya mtima pa chikondi ndi njira yayitali pamene kukhulupirirana kwatha. Zimatengera nthawi komanso khama lalikulu kuti zibwezeretsedwe,” akuchenjeza motero.
Zinthu zina zimatha kwa zaka zambiri, zina zimakhala zazifupi, koma kuthetsa chibwenzi nthawi zonse kumakhala kowawa, kovutirapo.
Ndi chithandizo cha Shivanya, taphatikiza masitepe 10 omwe mungatenge kuti zisasokonezeke pang'ono, kapena zomwe zimakuthandizani kuthana ndi chisokonezocho bwinoko. Ngati mukuyesera kuthetsa chibwenzi chanthawi yayitali kapena chachifupi, nazi njira zina zomwe mungachitire.
1. Pangani chisankho cholimba kuti zatha
Kaya mukuthetsa chibwenzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kapena mukufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi mnzanu wa kuntchito, chinthu choyamba chimene mungachite kuti munene kuti zatha chiyenera kuchitika m’maganizo mwanu. Monga masitepe onse oyamba, ichi ndiye chovuta kwambiri. Mudzakhala wosweka pakati pa kudulirana kwathunthu ndi kufuna kuthetsa chibwenzi ndikukhalabe mabwenzi. Mwina inu kutha chibwenzi ndi narcissist ndipo kwenikweni sindikufuna kuthana ndi maganizo awo ndi kusakhwima maganizo.
Kapena mukuyesera kuthetsa kucheza ndi bwana wanu ndikudabwa ngati zingakhudze njira yanu yokwezera makwerero. Choipitsitsanso, mwina mukuyesera kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi bwenzi lanu lapamtima ndipo mukuchita mantha kuti mutaya kwamuyaya. Kuvomereza ndi kuvomereza kuti chibwenzi chatha m'maganizo mwanu kudzatenga ntchito yambiri, koma muyenera kukhala otsimikiza chifukwa ndizomwe mukukonzekera kuti muthetse chibwenzi.
2. Kambiranani ndi wokondedwa wanu
Kusudzulana sikumasangalatsa, ngakhale chibwenzicho chinali choletsedwa bwanji. Komanso, kumbukirani kuti chifukwa chakuti chibwenzi chanu sichikuwoneka ngati 'chovomerezeka' ndi dziko lakunja sizikutanthauza kuti kutha kudzakhala kosavuta.
"Ndinali kumaliza kugonana ndi mwamuna wokwatira, ndipo limeneli ndilo vuto lalikulu kwambiri limene ndinakhalapo.” Emily anati: “Tinkakondana kwambiri ndipo tinkafuna kwambiri kukhala limodzi. Koma sakanatha kuwasiya ana ake. Tinakambitsirana, kulira, kenaka tinalonjezana kusadziloŵetsa m’moyo wa wina ndi mnzake chifukwa cha chikondi ndi ulemu.”
Ngati mukuthetsa chibwenzi ndi munthu wamba, mungafunikire kuima nji pa chosankha chanu, popeza sachedwa kuvomereza zinthu zomwe sizikuyenda bwino. Komanso, zinthu zina zimatha kwa zaka zambiri, ndipo izi zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuti mutuluke chifukwa mwina mwakhala mukulumikizana. Khalani otsimikiza, khalani olimba ndi kukhala okoma mtima.
3. Ululani kwa wokondedwa wanu
Tidakuchenjezani kuti izi sizikhala zophweka. Tsopano popeza mwaganiza zothetsa chibwenzi ndikulankhula ndi 'mnzako', ndi nthawi yoti muyang'ane ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wanthawi yayitali. Konzekerani kusakhulupirira, kukana, mkwiyo ndi misozi. Palibe amene amakonda kupusitsidwa ndi bwenzi lake, ndipo ino si nthawi yodzikhululukira kapena kupereka zifukwa zomveka. Nenani zomwe muyenera kutero, ndipo aloleni ayankhe.
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Iwo, nawonso, adzafunika nthawi kuti agwirizane ndi kusakhulupirika kumeneku ndikuzindikira momwe akufuna kutsata. Osafotokoza zambiri, koma bwerezani kuti pepani kwambiri ndipo zatha. Akadziwa kuti chisoni chanu ndi chenicheni, mwachiyembekezo zikhala zosavuta kwa iwo kuti agwirizane nazo.
4. Chotsani kukhudzana konse ndi munthu/anthu omwe munawabera nawo
Shivanya anati: “Kuimbira foni, malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, mphatso zimene anakupatsa, chilichonse chokhudzana ndi zimenezi chiyenera kuchitika. Kuyeretsa thupi kumalepheretsa kuyeretsa m'malingaliro ndi m'maganizo komwe mudzayenera kuchita, ndiye iyi ndi sitepe yabwino kuchita.
"Ndikuganiza kuti ichi chinali chinthu chovuta kwambiri kwa ine," akutero Shannon. “Ndinakhala ndi chibwenzi ndi munthu wina wa kuntchito kwa zaka zoposa ziŵiri.” Kuti ndithetse chibwenzi ndi mnzanga wakuntchito, pamene ndinali kumuona kuntchito tsiku lililonse zinali zopweteka kwambiri. Chikondi kuntchito sichapafupi, monga momwe ziliri!”
Sizikhala zophweka kuchita izi. Koma ngati mukuganiza za momwe mungathetsere chibwenzi ndi munthu amene mumamukonda, zizindikiro zonse za kukhalapo kwake ziyenera kuchotsedwa m'moyo wanu. Osachepera miyezi ingapo yoyambirira, ngati sichoncho kwamuyaya.
5. Yambitsani chithandizo kuti muthetse zifukwa zomwe munazembera
Shivanya anati: “Kuthandizidwa ndi akatswiri n’kofunika kwambiri ukangoganiza zothetsa chibwenzi. Akunena kuti zinthu zimayamba ndi kusakhutira kozama komanso kusasangalala, ndipo nthawi zonse zimachokera kumalo osowa. M'pofunika kuthetsa vuto limene likusowa muukwati wanu kapena ubwenzi wanu wanthaŵi yaitali, wodzipereka, kufufuza mozama ndi kudziŵa chimene chinachititsa kuti muyambe chibwenzi. Munkafuna chiyani? Akutero.
Amalimbikitsanso kuyamba ndi chithandizo chamunthu payekha popanda mnzanu. Mwa kuyankhula kwina, lankhulani ndikugwira ntchito pazinthu zanu monga munthu wakunja kwa maubwenzi anu onse poyamba. Mutha kufika ku Bonobology's gulu la alangizi thandizo apa.
"Okondedwa anu adzafunikanso chithandizo chapadera, asanayambe kupitirira kuphwanya chikhulupiriro chawo. Uphungu wa maanja ukufunika koma dikirani mpaka wokondedwa/mkazi wanu atanena kuti ali okonzeka," anawonjezera.
6. Phunzirani kukhala oona mtima pa chilichonse
Kuulula chibwenzi kumadzetsa nkhani zokhulupirirana ngakhale muubwenzi wolimba kwambiri. Kuyambira pano, zonse zomwe munganene zitha kukhala zokayikitsa kwa mnzanu. Shivanya anati: “Phunzirani kukhala woona mtima kotheratu ndi mnzanuyo. Ngakhale zabodza zoyera zimafunika kuziyika pa backburner chifukwa mnzako akuwawa ndipo makamaka amamva kunamizidwa pompano.
“Nditathetsa chibwenzi changa cha chaka chonse n’kuuza mkazi wanga, zinali zovuta kwambiri pangani chidaliro Richard anati: “Ngakhale nditamuuza molakwa kuti makiyi ali patebulo koma palibe, iye ankaona kuti ndi bodza. Zinatenga nthawi yaitali kuti tikonzenso ukwati wathu, koma kuona mtima kunali kofunika kwambiri.”
7. Dziwani kuti kumanganso kumatenga nthawi
Inde, mwaulula, inde, ndinu wachisoni ndipo mwakonzeka kuika zonse kuti mnzanuyo akukhulupirireninso. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti zichitika usiku umodzi, kapena miyezi ingapo kuchokera pano. "Mungafunike kugona m'chipinda cha alendo kwa masiku angapo kapena milungu ingapo. Pamene mubwereranso kugonana ndi wokondedwa wanu, ziyenera kuchitika mofulumira, osati zanu. Zingatengere nthawi kuti abwererenso," akutero Shivanya.
Monga tanenera, pali onse mitundu ya zinthu, ndipo zinthu zina zimatha zaka zambiri. Koma zimenezi zikutanthauzanso kuti mwakhala mukulola kuti ukwati wanu kapena unansi wanu usokonezeke pang’onopang’ono ndipo ndithudi panthaŵiyo. Ngakhale akumva kukonzedwa, sizikhala zofanana.
8. Lolani malingaliro onse
Kaya ndi nkhani zomwe zimatha kupitilira chaka, kapena kuthawa komwe kudatha miyezi ingapo, kuthetsa chibwenzi ndikuyesa kusiya gawo lanu. Pamodzi ndi chisoni ndi kutayika, mudzamva chisoni, mkwiyo, mkwiyo ndi chisokonezo. Osadziweruza nokha kwambiri. Lolani zomverera zibwere ndikuzikonza momwe mungathere.
Musamachite dama, kapena ngati munthu amene ayenera kulangidwa. Inde, simunalemekeze ubwenzi wanu ndipo munaphwanya kukhulupirirana kwa mnzanuyo, ndipo muyenera kukonza. Koma kudzikuza sikupindula aliyense.
“Kunena zoona, pamene ndinali kuthetsa chibwenzi changa, sindikanachitira mwina koma kuganizira za ubwino wake zibwenzi kunja kwa banja,” anatero Kelly movutikira.” “Ndinadzimva chisoni kwambiri, koma ndinalingalira mmene kukhala ‘mkazi wina’ kunandipangitsira kukhala ndi mphatso, kugonana kwabwino ndi kusavutitsidwa ndi kukhala mkazi.
“Komanso, ndinam’konda kwambiri mwamuna amene ndinali naye pachibwenzi kotero kuti ndinafunadi kuthetsa chibwenzicho kuti ndikhalebe mabwenzi.” Koma ndinadziŵa kuti sindingathe kutero kwa mwamuna wanga, ndipo iye sakanatero kwa mkazi wake. Zochitika pamene onse awiri ali pabanja zimatha kubweretsa malingaliro ovuta kwambiri. Khalani oleza mtima nawo ndi inu nokha, lankhulani ndi akatswiri ndikugwira ntchito ubwino wa uphungu.
9. Dzikhululukireni nokha
Musanayembekeze kuti mnzanu kapena achibale anu akukhululukireni, kapena kuyembekezera kukhululukidwa kwa amene mukuthetsa naye, dzikhululukireni nokha. Simungathe kupita patsogolo ngati mumadzimenya nthawi zonse.
Chibwenzi sichikhala chopanda kanthu, nthawi zonse pamakhala zifukwa ndi zokhumba ndi kusungulumwa kozungulira. Ndipo tikubwerezanso, kukhala ndi chibwenzi sikuyenera kusokoneza moyo wanu wonse ngati munthu wolakwa. Monga anthu, ndife ovuta, ndipo nthawi zambiri timakhumudwitsa omwe timawakonda ndi zosankha zathu.
Kudzikhululukira sikutanthauza kuti chisoni chanu chatsika, kapena kuti simuchita khama kwambiri kumanganso ukwati wanu. Mukungofunika kutsimikizika kwachete kuti mwadzikhululukira nokha ndipo mwakonzeka kupita patsogolo.
“Pali zifukwa zomveka zothetsa chibwenzi,” akutero Shivanya. “Pali ndalama, banja (ana), ndi chikondi.
“Mwachitsanzo, kukhala m’mabanja aŵiri m’malo mwa nyumba imodzi, kwenikweni kumawonjezera kuŵirikiza kaŵiri mtengo wa nyumba yanu.” Anthu ambiri sangakwanitse, makamaka m’nyumba ya ndalama imodzi.
“Ana akhoza kupulumuka chisudzulo koma zotsatira za banja losweka likhoza kukhala kwa moyo wonse. nkhondo zachitetezo, zingakhale zovuta. Malinga ngati makolowo samangokhalira kumenyana kapena kuchititsa malo opanda chitetezo, n’kwabwino kuti makolowo azikhala limodzi.
Pamapeto pake, kodi mumakondanabe? Ndithudi, sizingaoneke ngati choncho pakali pano, ndipo zingatenge miyezi kapena chaka chimodzi kapena ziwiri kuti muwongolere zinthu. Koma ngati nonse mudakali ndi chikondi kwa wina ndi mnzake ndipo mukufuna kuti zitheke, mutha kutero,” akutero.
"Ngati zikumveka zovuta, ndichifukwa ndizovuta. Zimatenga nthawi yayitali. Koma mutha kukonza banja lanu, ngati mutha kulola zakale kupita popanda kudziimba mlandu kwambiri kapena kukwiyira. Zidzatengera chikhulupiriro ndi kulimba mtima kuti mukonzenso chidaliro chanu chosweka, koma sizingatheke. Yesetsani kukhala pachibwenzi chatsopano, khalani ndi nthawi yochiritsa mabala anu ndi a mnzanuyo, ndipo chikondi chidzatero.
Ibibazo
Nkhani zitha kutha pomwe m'modzi kapena onse awiri azindikira kuti akufuna kupereka mwayi wina waukwati / ubale wanthawi yayitali. Athanso kutha ngati m'modzi kapena onse awiri omwe akhalapo nthawi yayitali atadziwa za chibwenzicho. Chisankho chikapangidwa kuti athetse chibwenzicho, zili kwa anthu omwe akukhudzidwa momwe akufuna kuchitira - kukhalabe mabwenzi, kusiya kucheza ndi zina.
Chibwenzi, makamaka chomwe chakhala zaka zambiri, chimakhala chovuta kutha chifukwa mwamanga kugwirizana maganizo ndipo mwinamwake ngakhale kugwa m’chikondi wina ndi mzake. Mwinamwake mwapeza zimene zinali kusoŵa m’banja mwanu ndipo zakwaniritsa inu m’njira zodabwitsa.
Palibe zolemba zomwe zingakuuzeni zomwe munganene mukafuna kuthetsa chibwenzi. Mungathe kunena mosapita m’mbali kuti, “Pepani, koma sindikufunanso kuchita zimenezi.” Mulimonsemo, m’pofunika kukhala wolimba mtima, ndiponso kukhala wachifundo pothetsa chibwenzi.
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