Kusudzulana ndi Mwamuna Wa Narcissist - Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa

Kufalitsa chikondi

Ngakhale azaka zikwizikwi aponya mawu oti "narcissist" mozungulira, ngati mungayang'ane mozama, anthu ochita zamatsenga samangodziganizira okha. Kwa iwo, dziko lonse lapansi limazungulira iwo ndipo alibe udindo pazochita zawo. Chifukwa chake, ngati mukusudzulana ndi narcissist, muyenera kudziwa zomwe mukulimbana nazo mukamamenya nkhondo.

Ngati mukuganiza zomwe mungayembekezere mukasudzulana ndi narcissist, tiloleni kuti tiphulike ndikukuuzani kuti muyenera kukonzekera kumenya nkhondo moyo wanu wonse. Chifukwa ex wanu yemwe posachedwapa adzakhala narcissistic sizidzatsika mosavuta. Egomaniac, kusowa chifundo, malingaliro apamwamba kwambiri - ndi mawu ochepa chabe omwe angagwirizane ndi narcissist. Kunena kuti narcissists ali ndi umunthu wokopa ndikuwafooketsa. Ayenera kupambana, amakula chifukwa choyamikiridwa makamaka ndi chifundo (mwinamwake, kapena ana awo, kapena anzawo) ndipo amakhala ofatsa kwa anthu akunja.

Mwina simungadziwe za vutoli poyamba koma akangokupezani, khalidwe lawo limaonekera. Tinalankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Kavita Panyam (katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso wogwirizana ndi bungwe la American Psychological Association), yemwe wakhala akuthandiza maanja kuthetsa mavuto awo a m'banja kwa zaka zoposa makumi awiri, za zomwe mwamuna wodzikonda amachita komanso njira zomwe angatenge kuti athetse mwamuna wotere.

Kodi Mwamuna Wa Narcissist Amatani?

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Narcissists amatsata ndondomeko yeniyeni mu khalidwe lawo. Nthawi zonse kumakhala kuzungulira kwa nkhanza zamalingaliro, kukhazikika kwamavuto, kuphulika komanso kuphulika kwachikondi. Kukhazikika kwa kusamvana kungabweretsedwe ndi kusintha kulikonse kwa moyo: mimba, imfa m'banja, kapena kubadwa kwa mwana. Zosinthazi zimasintha malingaliro kuchokera kwa narcissist kupita kwa wina ndipo zimawapangitsa kukwiyira anthu.

Malinga ndi Kavita , "Munthu wodzikonda amachita zinthu muubwenzi pokhapokha ngati akulandira chilango ndi ulamuliro. Sangathe kuyamikira akazi kapena ana awo ndipo amawagwiritsa ntchito mwa kuwanyoza komanso mwa kuwaletsa chikondi. Munthu wodzikonda nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi umunthu wokongola kwambiri kwa anthu akunja koma akangokhala m'banjamo amatha kukhala maloto oipa."

Nthawi zonse amapikisana ndi anthu owazungulira ndipo sayamikira kapena kusangalala ndi ena, zomwe zingatanthauzenso mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo ndi ana awo. Kavita anati: “Mwamuna wamwano sangayankhe ngakhale pang’ono mkazi akamanena za kukwezedwa pantchito chifukwa chakuti nthaŵi zonse amamuona ngati mpikisano.

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Narcissists amalamulira ana awo ndi dzanja lachitsulo ndikuyika mantha mwa iwo. Kavita anati: “Sayamikira zimene ana awo achita chifukwa nthawi zonse amangodziyerekezera ndi iwowo.” N’chifukwa chake ana a makolo amene amamwa mowa mwauchidakwa amakhala ndi zizindikiro za m’maganizo monga kupweteka kwa m’mimba, kupweteka m’thupi chifukwa chakuti amakhala osatetezeka kunyumba.

Anthu okonda kunyada amatha kukwiya kwambiri. Kukwiya kwawo kumachitika kawirikawiri ndipo amagwiritsa ntchito mawu opweteka komanso mawu onyoza kuti akulamulireni. "Akhoza kukana kugonana ndikukuwuzani kuti ndinu wokonda kugonana kwambiri komanso wokonda chilakolako chogonana. Angapitirize kukana kwa zaka zambiri mpaka mutayamba kudzifunsa nokha ndikukhulupirira kuti pali vuto ndi inu," akuwonjezera Kavita.

Ukwati kapena kuphulika kwachikondi kumachitika pamene akusowa chinachake - kaya ndalama, chikondi, kutsimikizira kapena kukhulupirika. Apa ndi pamene mutha kuwona bwino lomwe momwe angakhalire okopa komanso okopa. Mukangogonjera ku chithumwa chawo, amabwereranso kukhala olamulira komanso owongolera.

Ndiye, kodi munthu wa narcissist amatani akasudzulana? Narcissists ndi zodziwikiratu. Kuzunzika kwawo kumatsatira ndondomeko. Ndi zowawitsa ndi zowawa zonse zomwe amabweretsa kwa aliyense, sadzatenga udindo pa iwo. Ngakhale mwamuna wanu amene mudzakhale naye posachedwa akulimbana nanu kukhoti, musayembekezere chilichonse koma nkhanza. Chifukwa chakuti akafuna kupambana, ndi mwachibadwa chawo kuti apambane pa chilichonse.

Popeza munthu wodzikonda ndi munthu wokonda kulamulira , sangasiye kulamulira mosavuta. Choncho kusudzula mwamuna wodzikuza yekha kungakhale nkhani yayitali komanso yovuta yomwe imafuna kukonzekera mokwanira. Muyenera kukhala ndi njira zanu zosudzula mwamuna wodzikonda yekha. Koma musanapereke ndalama zanu kuti musudzule mwamuna wanu wodzikonda yekha, pali zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kusamalira.

Magawo Osudzulana Narcissist

Kodi ndingapulumuke bwanji chisudzulo ndi narcissist, mutha kufunsa. Ngati mukukonzekera kusudzulana ndi narcissist ndikupambana, ndiye kuti muyenera kutsatira njira zolimbikitsa. Mutatsimikiza kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi narcissist, ndipo mukutsimikiza kuti mukufuna chisudzulo, khalani okonzeka chifukwa sizikhala zophweka. Muyenera kudziteteza mukasudzulana ndi narcissist.

Musaganize ngakhale zokhala ndi chisudzulo chosatsutsika . N'zovuta kukambirana za chisudzulo ndi munthu wodzikonda. Ndipotu, ndinganene kuti zingakhale zovuta kwambiri komanso zovuta chifukwa ngakhale mutakhala okoma mtima bwanji, munthu wodzikonda adzakufunafunanibe. Ngati chifukwa chanu chosudzula mwamuna wanu ndi chakuti ndi wodzikonda, muyenera umboni.

1. Kusonkhanitsa luntha

Yakwana nthawi yoti muyendetse sleuth yanu yamkati. Sonkhanitsani zambiri momwe mungathere zokhudza mwamuna wanu. Narcissist wamkulu adzabisa ndalama zake kwa inu. Mawu a kirediti kadi, malisiti a ATM, zambiri za 'maulendo abizinesi' - chilichonse chomwe chabisika mapazi awiri pansi, muyenera kuwapangitsa kuwona kuwala.

Lembani chirichonse, chirichonse chaching'ono. Njira yoyamba yolekana ndi narcissist ndikuwatulutsanso sleuth weniweni kuti apeze nzeru iliyonse pa iwo. Kusonkhanitsa zidziwitso zonse pa iwo kudzakuthandizani m'kupita kwanthawi. Ndi njira yofunika kwambiri yodzitetezera mukasudzulana ndi narcissist.

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2. Chisudzulo chikhale chodabwitsa

Kodi munthu wa narcissist amatani akasudzulana? Chabwino, ngati mwamuna wanu wamwano adziwa kuti mukukonzekera zothetsa banja, gehena yonse imatha kutha. Njira yabwino ndiyo kukankhira chisudzulo pankhope pake pamene akukonzekera ulendo wopita ku Malibu, kumusiyira nthawi yochepa yokonzekera chitetezo chake.

Ngati mukudabwa zomwe mungayembekezere mukasudzulana ndi narcissist, dziwani izi. Narcissist amasangalala akapambana - palibe chomwe chimabwera pakati pa iye ndi kupambana. Pankhani yosudzulana ndi munthu wamba, dziwani bwino kuti palibe malire kwa iye - muyenera kukhala ochenjera komanso osamala ngakhale ndi zomwe mukuganiza.

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3. Sonkhanitsani umboni kuchokera pama social network

Yankho linanso pafunso lanu la "Kodi narcissist amachita bwanji chisudzulo" ndikuti amatha kugwada pamlingo uliwonse kuti atsimikizire kapena china chilichonse chomwe angafune. Kusinthasintha si suti yamphamvu. Ngati wina ataya pa Facebook, apanga ndime yonse kuwatsutsa; ndipo sadzakhala achifundo. Screenshot zakuthupi momwe mungathere.

Monga ndidanenera kale, kusudzulana ndi munthu wamatsenga kumafuna kukonzekera bwino ndipo muyenera kulemba chilichonse - amatha kufufuta chilichonse chokhumudwitsa, ndichifukwa chake muyenera kudziwa zonse zomwe mungapeze zokhudzana ndi zolemba zawo, maimelo, ndi mameseji. Popeza ma narcissists amafunikira kutsimikiziridwa amatha kukhala okopana kuti apeze chidwi. Athanso kukhala aukali komanso omasuka za izi. Jambulani chilichonse chaching'ono ndikuchichotsa.

4. Dziwani kuti sindinu vuto

"Kodi sindingathe kumuwona munthu wotani?" Limeneli ndi funso loyenera kubwera m’maganizo mwanu ngati mukusudzulana ndi munthu wongomwa mankhwala osokoneza bongo pambuyo pa zaka 30 kapena kuposerapo kapena ngati mwakhala m’banja lalitali. Koma ayi, musadandaule nazo. Mwinamwake mwamuwombera ndi chikondi kumayambiriro kwa chiyanjano chanu ndipo panalibe njira yodziwira kuti adzakhala katswiri wodzibisa.

Podziwa kuti anthu odzikonda okha ndi akatswiri onyenga , sikophweka kuti musagwere mumsampha. Kavita akuti, "Anthu odzikonda okha ndi anthu olankhula bwino komanso okongola. N'zosatheka kudziwa zomwe zili mkati mwanu ngakhale mutakhala pachibwenzi nawo. Amangowonetsa maonekedwe awo enieni mukakwatirana kapena kuyamba kukhala nawo limodzi."

5. Ngati muli ndi ana, akonzekeretseni kunkhondo yomwe ikubwera

Kusudzulana ndi mwana narcissist kumabwera ndi zovuta zake. Ngati mukusudzulana ndi mwamuna wanu wamwano amene anaberekanso ana anu, yembekezerani kuti zinthu zidzafika popenga. Mwamuna wanu wankhanza adzafunadi kusungidwa komwe kungayambitse nkhondo yosunga ana anu.

Ngati mukusudzulana ndi mwana narcissist, onetsetsani kuti mwawakonzekeretsa m'maganizo. Simuyenera kuwapangitsa kudana ndi abambo awo, kungodziwa zofunikira za momwe amayi ndi abambo sadzakhalanso limodzi. Mwayi bambo awo adawakhumudwitsa kale ndi njira zake zowalanga ndi kuwongolera kotero kuti asadabwe kwambiri mukasankha kusudzulana. Atanena zimenezi, ana alibe kumveka bwino monga akuluakulu. Choncho muyenera kuponda nawo mosamala.

Njira Zothetsera Chisudzulo Mwamuna Wa Narcissistic

Ngati mukufuna kukhala oganiza bwino ndikupulumuka chisudzulo ndi narcissist, ndiye kuti muyenera kugwirira ntchito njira yanu pasadakhale. Ngati mukudzifunsabe kuti “kodi munthu wa narcissist amachita bwanji chisudzulo”, dziwani kuti mwamuna wanu akhoza kukhala wankhanza komanso wopanda chifundo pamene udindo wake wasokonezedwa. Iye sangasangalale nazo ngakhale pang’ono pamene mukufuna kutuluka m’banja.

Akhoza kukwiya kwambiri n’kukutsatani. Palibe chomwe chingamulepheretse kuipitsa mbiri yanu kukhothi, kupereka mabodza ngati mfundo zenizeni ndikupeza mboni zabodza kuti zinene kuti iye ndiye wozunzidwayo ndipo inuyo ndiye wochita zoipa. Khalani okonzeka ndi njira yamphamvu yomenyera nkhondo yomwe ili patsogolo chifukwa pakhoza kukhala zinthu zingapo zomwe zingagwiritsidwe ntchito motsutsana nanu pakusudzulana ndipo muyenera kudziwa momwe mungapewere kapena kuthana nazo. Nazi njira zomwe mungatsatire ngati mukuyesera kukambirana za kusudzulana ndi munthu wodzikonda:

1. Pezani loya wabwino

Ngati mukupita kukhothi, muyenera kupeza loya yemwe ali katswiri pa milandu yokhudza chisudzulo chokhudza munthu wodzikonda. Kumbukirani: si aliyense amene angakupezeni. Simukusowa "Ndicho" chabwino kwambiri chomwe ndingachite pakadali pano". Woyimira milandu wanu ayenera kukhala wodziwa bwino njira zomwe anthu odzikonda amagwiritsa ntchito kukhothi kuti mukonzekere bwino pasadakhale. Musagwirizane ndi loya wabwino kwambiri, koma gwirizanani ndi amene amadziwa momwe mungachitire ndi munthu wodzikonda.

2. Lembani umboni mosamala ndi loya wanu

Kuchita ndi mwamuna wodzikonda kumafuna kuti mudziwe umboni woti mugwiritse ntchito nthawi yanji. Ngati pali mlandu wopitilira kukhothi wokhudza luso lanu lolera ana, kugwiritsa ntchito nkhanza za mwamuna wanu ngati kubwezera sikungathandize. Muyenera kutengapo mbali imodzi kuti muwulule munthu wodzikonda amene mumakhala naye.

Zikatero mudzafunika kusonkhanitsa umboni wa mmene iye wakhala kholo losasamala. Gwiritsani ntchito imelo mwina, yomwe sukulu idakutumizirani atachedwa kunyamula mwanayo kawiri. Lembani umboni ndi loya wanu ndikuumamatira. Chofunika kwambiri pa sitepe iliyonse funsani loya wanu zomwe zingagwire ntchito ndi zomwe sizingagwire ntchito ndiyeno konzekerani mlanduwo kuti pasakhale ming'alu.

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3. Osataya mtima

Kuti musudzule munthu wodzikonda ndi kupambana, muyenera kukhala chete. Chifukwa mudzazindikira kuti chinthu choyipa kwambiri chokwatiwa ndi mwamuna wodzikonda ndi kusudzula mwamuna wodzikonda. Kusudzula mwamuna wodzikonda ndi nkhondo. Yembekezerani kuti mudzakumana ndi mavuto pamaso pa woweruza milandu, makamaka ngati mukusudzula munthu wodzikonda patatha zaka 30 kapena mutakhala pabanja kwa nthawi yayitali chifukwa pakhoza kukhala mafunso okhudza chifukwa chomwe mudadikira nthawi yayitali kapena osalankhulapo kale.

Ngati muli ndi ana, cholakwika chanu chimodzi choleredwa chidzawonetsedwa muzobiriwira za neon. Ndipo, chifukwa iyeyo ndi wabodza, padzakhala nthawi zina zomwe zidzanenedwa zabodza motsutsana nanu kuti akupezereni nyanga. Mmene mumayankhira zimasonyeza mtundu wa khalidwe limene mumakhala nalo kunyumba. Kotero, ziribe kanthu, musataye kuzizira kwanu. Tsopano ndi nthawi yoti mugwiritse ntchito zomwe munakumana nazo pamoyo wanu kuti mumusiye. Mukasunga mutu wanu momveka bwino, mutha kudziwa zomwe akuyenda.

4. Musanyalanyaze mabomba ake achikondi

Kodi munthu wa narcissist amatani akasudzulana? Chabwino, choyamba, mwamuna wanu angakupangitseni kumva kuti mumakondedwa. Chikondi chokoma chachilimwe kumayambiriro kwaubwenzi chingakupangitseni kubwereranso, makamaka pamene zinthu zakhala zovomerezeka. Wogwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo angakuphulitseni kuti, "Ndimakukondabe kwambiri" kapena "Kodi sitingathe kuchita?"

Mlingo waung'ono uwu udzakutonthozani ndi chiyembekezo chobwereranso koma kumbukirani: sadzakhala wodzikonda. Musamukope. Adzayesa njira iliyonse yomwe ali nayo kuti ayambitsenso ubale wanu wamaganizo ndi inu chifukwa anthu odzikonda obisika amalankhula mobisa. Muyenera kudziwa momwe mungachitire zimenezo ndipo musagwere mumsampha.

5. Khalani ndi anthu anu kumbali yanu

Kusudzulana ndi munthu wamwano sikudzakhala kalikonse koma nkhani yaubwenzi. Musamayembekezere kuti apita kukasudzulana mwazogwirizana, mukadzakambirana za mutuwo. Khama lawo lingakhale kukugwetsani pansi pa maondo anu pabwalo lamilandu. Narcissists ndi abwino kwambiri pokopa anthu kuti awakonde ndikuwamvera chisoni. Ngati apatsidwa mpata, adzakupangitsani kuoneka ngati munthu woipa m’chisudzulo chonse.

Ichi ndichifukwa chake muyenera kudziteteza mukasudzulana ndi narcissist. Ndikofunikira kudziwa omwe akukuthandizani; anthu omwe sangatengeke ndi mafotokozedwe a mwamuna wako wankhanza pa iwe. Gulu lapafupi la ogwirizana lidzakuthandizani mutatha kusudzulana. Khalani pafupi ndi anthu omwe mumawakhulupirira.

6. Apangitseni kuganiza kuti "apambana"

Kukambirana za chisudzulo ndi munthu wodzikonda kungakhale vuto lalikulu lomwe simungafune kukhala nalo. Palibe chomwe chimawapatsa chisangalalo choposa kudziwa kuti apambana. Sankhani nkhondo zanu moyenera ndipo ngati n'kotheka, lolani mwamuna wanu wodzikonda aganize kuti "wapambana" nyumba ya Goa pagombe kuchokera kwa inu pankhondo yosudzulana.

Anthu odzikonda kwambiri amasangalala akapambana. Choncho mupangitseni kuti apeze zomwe akufuna pomwe inu mukupeza zomwe mumafuna kuyambira kale. Ngati mumamudziwa bwino mwamuna wanu wodzikonda kwambiri , mutha kuchita izi. Iyi ndi njira yomwe ingakupatseni mtendere wamumtima mukatha kusudzulana.

Muyenera kusewera masewera amalingaliro kuti musudzulane koma ndani adati kusudzulana ndi bwenzi lachipongwe kudzakhala wopanda wina? Kavita anawonjezera kuti: “N’zosatheka kupeza munthu wodziwa mankhwala ogodomalitsa chifukwa chakuti sangavomereze kuti pali vuto.” Choncho mwayi woti munthu wosuta asinthe n’kukhala munthu wabwino n’ngochepa kwambiri.

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Moyo Pambuyo pa Chisudzulo

Ngati mwakwanitsa kukhalabe oganiza bwino pa nthawi yonse ya chisudzulo ndi mwamuna wanu wa narcissist, musaganize kuti vuto lanu limatha apa. Kupitirizabe kusudzulana ndi mwamuna wa narcissist kungakhale kovuta kwambiri osati chifukwa chakuti mudakali m’chikondi, koma chifukwa chakuti angaone kukhala kovuta kuvomereza kuti wataya ulamuliro pa inu.

Kusudzulana ndi mwamuna wodzikonda kudzakupangitsani kutaya chikhulupiriro mu maubwenzi ndi amuna ambiri. Zizindikiro zofiira za ubale mwa mwamuna amene munamunyalanyaza kale ndi mwamuna wanu wakale zidzakuvutitsani kwamuyaya. Munthu aliyense wokopa chidwi amene angabwere kwa inu adzakupangitsani kukayikira ngati mukuchita cholakwika chomwecho. Ndipo n'zosachita kunena kuti, simudzalowa nawo masewera a chibwenzi kwa kanthawi.

Chiyembekezo chosokonekera chanthawi zonse, malonjezo osweka, zowawa zosatha, zotsatira za kusudzulana kwa munthu wankhanza zimakugundanibe. Nazi zinthu zingapo zomwe mungachite ngati mwamuna wanu wakale wa narcissist akuyesera kulamulira kapena kukunyengererani:

Anthu omwe ali ndi vuto la umunthu wa narcissistic amayesa kubwereranso m'moyo wanu, ngakhale izi zikutanthauza kukutumizirani meseji yachipongwe ya Instagram. Osabwezera mauthengawo - pitilizani kuyankha kuti inde kapena ayi. Kumbukiraninso: si mauthenga ake onse omwe amafunikira kuyankha
Ngati muli ndi ana, khalani ndi malire. Ngati mwa lamulo, amapeza nthawi yocheza ndi ana kumapeto kwa sabata la Khrisimasi, tsatirani. Ngati apempha kuti amuwonjezere nthawi, ndi bwino kuti asachite zimenezo. Mukalola kuti zimenezi zitheke, adzapitirizabe kukupemphani zinanso
Osamvera chisoni. Narcissists ali ndi chisoni m'moyo wawo. Muukwati munali womvera chisoni. Simufunikanso kukhala mmodzi pambuyo pa chisudzulo. Nthawi ina akadzakuimbirani foni kuti akudandaule za ntchito, dzichitireni zabwino ndikumuuza kuti muli otanganidwa
Munthawi yakulimbana kapena ndewu, tengani njira yayikulu. Ngati mwamuna wanu wakale ndi zinyalala akulankhula za inu, tengani msewu wapamwamba

Kumanga moyo pambuyo pa kusudzulana n'kovuta, koma n'zotheka. Musaiwale kudzisamalira nokha ndikuchita zinthu mosamala muubwenzi wanu komanso kudzimvera chisoni. Yesetsani kuyang'ana mafoni ake ngati pakufunika kutero. Pitirizani ndikuyamba kukumana ndi anthu atsopano mukakonzeka. Fufuzani chithandizo ngati pakufunika kutero. Gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito komanso ovomerezeka a Bonobology lili pafupi nanu.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.