Zomwe Zimayambitsa & Zizindikiro Za Ubale Wotopetsa M'malingaliro Ndimomwe Mungakonzere

Kufalitsa chikondi

"Mwina ndi momwe zimakhalira kwa aliyense; maubwenzi sakhala utawaleza ndi agulugufe nthawi zonse, sichoncho?", Mungadziuze nokha pamene mukuyesera kutsimikizira malingaliro anu kuti zomwe mukukumana nazo muubwenzi wanu ndi zovuta chabe. Koma pamene mnzanuyo akuimbani inu pakati pa tsiku lanu, ndipo mmalo mwa chikondi ndi chisangalalo kuti mutenge, lingaliro lomwelo la kulankhula nawo limapangitsa mantha, ndiye kuti chanu chingakhale ubale wotopetsa maganizo.

Zachidziwikire, sizomwe zikuwonetsa kuti kusinthasintha kwanu kungakutsogolereni ku kutopa, koma ngati mukuyembekezera ulendo wabizinesi wa mnzanu kupita ku kontinenti ina kuposa momwe alili, mwina pali china chake.

Popeza simukufuna kusanthula mafunso otere nokha, tabweretsa katswiri wa zamaganizo wolangiza Shambhavi Agrawal (MSc. mu uphungu wa zamaganizo), yemwe ndi katswiri pa nkhawa, kulinganiza bwino ntchito ndi moyo, kuvutika maganizo, chisoni, ndi mavuto osintha moyo, kuti tikambirane za maubwenzi otopetsa maganizo. Chifukwa chake popanda kuchedwa, tiyeni tiyambe kukambirana.

Zizindikiro za Munthu Wotaya Mtima

M'ndandanda wazopezekamo

Zikumveka ngati chizindikiro chankhanza kuyika aliyense koma simungathe kuthawa kapena kunyalanyaza kuthekera kwakuti munthu amene muli naye akhoza kungokwanira ngongoleyo ngati ubale wanu ukusiyani wotopa komanso wotopa m'malo mokupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu olimbikitsidwa komanso otetezeka. Mutha kukhala paubwenzi wotopetsa ngati lingaliro lokhala nokha ndi mnzanu likukupangitsani kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso kufuna kuthamanga kwina.

Musatichititse cholakwika, mwina mumawakondabe ndi kuwasamalira kwambiri. Koma maubwenzi sali njira yokonzedwa bwino ndipo nthawi zina amatha kukutsogolerani kumalo omwe simukufuna kukhalamo. Ngati mwapeza kuti mwawona zizindikiro za munthu wotopa mwachibwenzi kapena chibwenzi chanu, ganizirani kufufuza kawiri ndi mfundo zomwe tazitchula pansipa.

Iwo ndi osowa ndi okakamira: Mutha kumangomva ngati muli mu a mgwirizano wodalira chifukwa mnzako amaoneka kuti amakukakamira nthawi zonse osakupatsa malo. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zochenjeza za ubale wotopetsa kapena wokondedwa
Savomereza malingaliro anu: Ndipo pamikangano, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kuti amvetsetse mbali yanu ndi kuvomereza malingaliro anu. Mwina ndi njira yawo kapena msewu wawukulu
Iwo ali ndi inu: Mpaka pano, mumachita mantha kutchula bwenzi lachikazi kwa bwenzi lanu lachikazi kapena mwamuna yemwe mumagwira naye ntchito ndi chibwenzi chanu. Mukudziwa kuti ngati mutero, gehena idzasweka ndipo mafunso sasiya kugwa
Inu mukupitiriza kupereka nsembe kwa iwo: Ndipo samakuchitirani inu. Chimodzi mwazizindikiro zazikulu za munthu wotopetsa m'malingaliro ndikuti sangapite mtunda wowonjezera kuti akusangalatseni koma amayembekezera kuti mwa inu.

Kodi Kutopa Kwambiri Ndi Chiyani & Zomwe Zimayambitsa Maubwenzi Otopetsa M'maganizo?

Tisanalowe m'mene tingakonzere ubale wosokoneza maganizo kapena ngati kuthetsa ubale wosokoneza maganizo ndi lingaliro labwino, tiyeni tiwonetsetse kuti tili pa tsamba lomwelo za kutopa kwamaganizo. Kumva kutopa m'malingaliro mu maubwenzi kwenikweni ndi mkhalidwe wodzimva kuti "watopa" m'thupi ndi m'maganizo, wopanda chidwi komanso wopanda chiyembekezo zamtsogolo.

Kudzimva kuti munthu sakonda munthu kumayamba pomwe zinthu sizingamveke zenizeni, osanenapo za chikondi. Popeza kukhala opanda chiyembekezo, kufooka kwachisonkhezero, ndi kuvutika kuika maganizo pa ntchito zonse ndi zizindikiro zazikulu, kukupangitsani kuchoka mu kutopa kwamalingaliro kungakhale kovuta kwambiri.

Aliyense ali pachiwopsezo cha zinthu ngati zimenezi. Zomwe zimayambitsa kugwera muubwenzi wotopetsa maganizo zimakhala kuyambira nthawi yayitali ya nkhawa/nkhawa, kuvutika maganizo, mavuto azachuma , komanso, ubale womwe umabweretsa nkhawa kwa nthawi yayitali kwa inu ndi mnzanu.

Ubale wotopetsa wamalingaliro ukhoza kukhala chifukwa chachikulu cha kutopa kwamalingaliro mwa munthu. Mukakhala ndi munthu amene amayamwa moyo mwa inu, ziyenera kukhudza thanzi lanu komanso thanzi lanu. Shambhavi akutchula zifukwa zotsatirazi zomwe zimayambitsa ubale wosokoneza maganizo:

1. Zoyembekeza zosayembekezereka zingayambitse ubwenzi wotopetsa

“Pamene mnzanu ali ndi ziyembekezo zomwe simungathe kuzikwaniritsa, kapena mosemphanitsa, pali kusalingana koonekeratu mu kayendetsedwe kanu,” akutero Shambhavi , “Pamene pali kusagwirizana pakati pa okondedwa onse pa zomwe akuyembekezera ndi zomwe angakwaniritse, zingayambitse kutopa kwambiri m’maganizo.”

Kusamalira ziyembekezo muubwenzi si chinthu chophweka kuchita, chifukwa cha momwe wina angayembekezere kuti mnzawo azindikire zomwe zili mumtima mwake. Ngati mnzanu wakufunsanipo kuti "mudziwe" chifukwa chake akukwiya, nthawi zonse akukunyozani, si njira yabwino kwambiri padziko lonse lapansi, sichoncho?

2. Kuyatsa gasi kapena zochitika zapoizoni

Ngati kusuntha kwa thanzi kumamveka ngati kutikita bwino minofu yanu yotopa, ubale wapoizoni umakhala ngati kukanikizana kolimba pamikwingwirima. Shambhavi akutiuza momwe kuyatsa gasi kungakhale chifukwa chomwe chimayambitsa ubale wotopetsa. "Munthu akakhala ndi zizolowezi zina, kuyatsa gasi kumatha kukuvulazani kwambiri.

“Mwinamwake amakudalirani mopambanitsa ndipo zimenezi zimawononga thanzi lanu la maganizo.” Mtundu woterewu udzasintha n’kukhala unansi wokhumudwitsa,” iye akufotokoza motero. Ngati mukuganiza kuti muli paubwenzi ndi munthu amene amakonda kukunyozani kapena kukunyozani, muyenera kuganizira zothetsa ubale wosokoneza maganizo.

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3. Ubale pakati pa anthu

Werenganinso izo; tinati intrapersonal, osati interpersonal. Monga momwe Shambhavi akunenera, mtundu wa ubale womwe muli nawo ndi inu pamapeto pake udzatanthauzira ubale womwe muli nawo ndi omwe akuzungulirani. “Munthu akakhala wosasangalala pakhungu lake, pamene palibe kudzikonda kapena kudzisamalira, maubwenzi amene amakhala nawo amakhalanso otopetsa maganizo.

"Mwachitsanzo, munthu angakhale akumva chisoni, kapena alibe ndalama zabwino, kapena akhoza kukhala ndi nkhawa kwa nthawi yaitali." Ngati munthu woteroyo ali pachibwenzi, amatha kudalira wokondedwa wake kuti amuthandize ndi kuchita zinthu zina.

Zizindikiro za Ubale Wowonongeka M'malingaliro

Kodi zizindikiro za ubale wosokoneza maganizo ndi chiyani?

Ngati kuwerenga zomwe zayambitsa kukupangitsani kufanana, zizindikirozo zidzakupangitsani kukhala pansi ndikufuula kuti, "Ubale wanga ukunditopetsa." Koma monga momwe Icarus sanathe kuzindikira chifukwa chake adagwa mpaka zitafika mochedwa, anthu omwe ali m'mavuto nthawi zambiri sangaone zizindikiro zoonekeratu za ubale wawo.

Chotero, kodi ubwenzi wanu ndi wofooketsa maganizo, wowononga mtendere wanu wamaganizo? Ndipo kodi ndinu wakhungu kwa wopalamulayo, mwinanso kubisa kuti ndiye mankhwala? Kuti muwonetsetse kuti simukuwulukira pafupi ndi dzuwa nthawi zonse, yang'anani zizindikiro zotsatirazi kuti muwone ngati ubale wanu ukutsogolereni ku malo otopa kwambiri:

1. Ndewu nthawi zonse ili pachimake muubwenzi wosokoneza maganizo

Kodi kukambirana kulikonse kumasanduka ndewu muubwenzi wanu? Kodi zimamvekanso ngati nthawi zonse muyenera kuganiza kawiri musananene kanthu kwa mnzanuyo chifukwa mukudziwa kuti adzachita zinthu mopupuluma? Kodi mumamva ngati mukuponda madzi oundana nthawi zonse mutavala nsapato zachitsulo?

Ngati ubale wanu uli wotopetsa, yankho lanu ku mafunso amenewo mwina silinali lolimbikitsa kapena lotonthoza. Ngakhale kuti banja lililonse limamenyana, mwamuna ndi mkazi wotero mwina amakhala akumenyana. Tsopano ngati siubwenzi wotopetsa, sitikudziwa chomwe chiri.

2. Mutha kuyamba kukumana ndi vuto lodzidalira

Shambhavi anati: “Mukamayesetsa nthawi zonse kusonyeza chikondi kwa munthu wina koma sakuvomereza, kudzidalira kwanu kumayamba kuchepa. Ubale wosangalatsa umakupangitsani kukhala wodzidalira kwambiri ndikukuthandizani kuti mukhale munthu wabwino kwambiri. Pamene kukanidwa kwa mnzanuyo kukupangitsani kudzikana nokha, kukayikira kwanu za kuthekera kwanu kumakhala zenizeni.

Mayankho ovomerezeka ndi akatswiri kuti athane ndi vutoli

3. Mukufuna nthawi yochuluka kwambiri nokha

Kutopa maganizo muubwenzi kungakupangitseni kufuna kudzipatula kwathunthu kwa mnzanu. Kumapeto kwa sabata komwe munakhala ndi mnzanu kumawoneka ngati lingaliro labwino, mpaka, ndithudi, ndewu yoyamba inatha pafupifupi mphindi makumi atatu. Malo anu paubwenzi ndi abwino, koma ngati mukufuna kudikira Lolemba kuti lifike kusiyana ndi kukhala ndi mnzanu kumapeto kwa sabata, ndi chifukwa chodera nkhawa.

4. Mumaona kuti simukusamala

Ubale wotopetsa kwambiri sumveka ngati womwe umakhala ndi njira zabwino zolankhulirana, sichoncho? Mwayi ndi, popeza mungafunike kumasamalira wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse muzochitika zotere, zosowa zanu zikhoza kunyalanyazidwa. Ngati zosowa zanu ndi zofuna zanu zimaganiziridwa ziro chifukwa nkhani za mnzanuyo "zimakhala zapamwamba" komanso "zofuna chisamaliro chochulukirapo", ndi chizindikiro chomveka bwino ngati tsiku loti mutuluke.

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5. Nkhani zaumoyo

Zoonadi, kupsinjika maganizo kukayamba kugwira thupi lanu, kumayenera kuvulaza thupi kwa nthawi yaitali. "Mukhoza kukhala ndi vuto logona chifukwa cha kupsinjika kwakukulu, limodzi ndi mutu kapena zizindikiro zina za nkhawa," akutero Shambhavi. Pamene malingaliro anu amakhala otanganidwa nthawi zonse komanso m'mphepete, adzawonetsanso thanzi lanu. Ubwenzi wotopetsa kwambiri ukhoza kuyamba mwamsanga kumva ngati wotopetsa.

Zotsatira Zakutopa Kwambiri Pamabwenzi

Mukatha kunena molimba mtima mawu ngati, "Ubwenzi wanga ukunditopetsa", chifukwa cha zizindikiro zonse zomwe zikugwirizana ndi zomwe zikuchitika, zimawononga kwambiri ubale wanu. “Pankhani ya chibwenzi, vuto lalikulu ndilakuti umataya ubwenzi woterowo ndipo sufuna kusonyeza chikondi kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wako,” akutero Shambhavi, ponena za zotulukapo za kulefuka kwa maganizo pa maubwenzi.

“Pali kusadzidalira nthawi zonse paubwenzi. Simukufuna kuchita khama, mumataya chidaliro mu mphamvu zanu ndipo zonsezi zingawoneke ngati ntchito yambiri kuposa momwe zilili,” akuwonjezera. Zizindikiro za kutopa m'maganizo nthawi zambiri zimayenderana ndi zizindikiro za matenda amisala monga kupsinjika maganizo, kupsinjika maganizo, ndi nkhawa. Pamene theka laubwenzi likudutsa mu nthawi yotopa m'maganizo, cholinga chake ndi kuwononga mphamvu zanu.

Pamene simungathe kudikira kuti mukhale nokha nthawi, nthawi ina pansi pamzere, mwina simukufuna kukumana ndi mnzanu konse. Mphamvu zanu sizidzamva zotetezeka; m'malo mwake, lupanga la Damocles lomwe likubwera pamutu panu lidzakuphani ku nkhawa isanakupheni ndikudula mutu.

Koma kodi zimenezo zikutanthauza kuti palibe chiyembekezo chotsalira cha unansi wotopetsa maganizo? Kodi pali chilichonse chimene mungachite kuti muthetse vutoli? Shambhavi amatiuza zonse zomwe tiyenera kudziwa za momwe tingakonzere ubale wosokoneza maganizo.

Momwe Mungakonzere Ubale Wosokoneza Mtima

Pokhapokha ngati ubale wanu uli ndi nkhanza zamtundu uliwonse kapena ndizovuta kwa inu mwakuthupi kapena m'maganizo, chinthu chokhacho chomwe chimakulepheretsani kuchipulumutsa ndicho kudziwa. Ndipamene timafika.Kodi mumaganiza kuti tikusiyani nokha mutavomereza nokha kuti, "Ubwenzi wanga ukundithera mphamvu, nditani tsopano?" Shambhavi akuyika njira zisanu zomwe zingakuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungakonzere ubale wosokoneza maganizo:

1. Bwererani kumbuyo ndikuvala chipewa chanu cha upolisi

Inde, tikutanthauza kuti kutenga nthawi yopuma paubwenzi ndikugwiritsa ntchito nthawiyo kuganizira zomwe zalakwika kungakuthandizeni. "Dzipatseni nthawi yopuma. Dziwani zomwe mukufuna komanso zomwe zikukutopetsani poyamba. Kodi ndi malingaliro otani omwe mwatopa nawo? Nthawi zina ndi kusowa kwa chisangalalo muubwenzi wanu , nthawi zina ndi chikondi, kapena nthawi zina kungomva ngati mukukondedwa. Kufika pachimake ndikofunikira kwambiri," akutero Shambhavi.

2. Maubwenzi otopetsa apindula ndi zochita za maanja ena

“Unansi wothedwa maganizo ungakhale wozika mizu m’zosoŵa zanu kapena malingaliro anu osakwaniritsidwa.” Mwachitsanzo, ngati lingaliro lotulukapo la unansi wanu wotopetsa wamaganizo liri kusungulumwa, yesani zochita za okwatirana zimene zimalimbana ndi kusungulumwa kumeneko. Zoonadi, masewera a tennis ya udzu palimodzi sangathetse mavuto anu onse (makamaka ngati mutayika) koma angakutulutseni awiri m'nyumbamo kuti muchite chinachake pamodzi.

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3. Phunzirani chinenero chatsopano: chinenero chachikondi cha mnzanuyo

M'buku lake lakuti The Five Love Languages , Dr. Gary Chapman adalemba zilankhulo zisanu zachikondi zomwe anthu amavomereza mosazindikira. Izi ndi mawu otsimikizira, kukhudza thupi, kukhala ndi nthawi yabwino pamodzi, kupereka mphatso, ndi kuchita zinthu zothandiza. Shambhavi akutiuza momwe kumvetsetsa chilankhulo chachikondi chomwe mnzanu wanu amagwiritsa ntchito kungasinthire mphamvu zanu zonse.

"Chilankhulo chomwe wokondedwa wanu amafuna chikondi sichingakhale chilankhulo chomwe mumapatsana chikondi, ganizirani chinenero cha chikondi cha wina ndi mzake ndi kuthetsa kusamvana. Mwachitsanzo, ndimakonda mawu otsimikizira koma mnzanga amasonyeza chikondi mwa kuthera nthawi yabwino pamodzi. Choncho ndikamasonyeza chikondi changa kudzera m'mawu, mnzanga sangayamikire n'komwe chifukwa, kwa iwo, chikondi chimatanthauza kuthera nthawi pamodzi," akutero.

4. Chotsani njovu mchipindamo

Simungayembekezere kuthetsa mikangano kapena "kuyimitsa" kwamuyaya ndikuganiza kuti zonse zikhala bwino. Kambiranani za mikangano yomwe singathe kuthetsedwa ndikugwiritsa ntchito njira zothetsera mikangano . Ndipo ngati mwakhala mukuganiza zothetsa chibwenzi chovuta maganizo, ganiziraninso kuwafotokozera. Musawapatse chilango koma ingowauzani kuti mwatopa. Mwatsoka, kutuluka m'nyumba mwachangu ndikuletsa mnzanu pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti si njira yabwino yothetsera mikangano.

5. Chithandizo cha maanja chikhoza kukuthandizani kuthetsa chibwenzi chanu chotopetsa

Kuyesera kukonza chinthu chofooketsa monga kutopa ndi wokondedwa wanu kungakulepheretseni kumenyana, kusagwirizana, ndi chisokonezo. Ndiko komwe chithandizo cha munthu payekha kapena awiri chingathandize. Poyambitsa malingaliro osakondera komanso akatswiri muzochitika zanu, mudzafika pansi pazomwe zikuvutitsa ubale wanu komanso chifukwa chake.

Ngati mukuganiza zopempha thandizo kwa mlangizi kuti apeze njira yothetsera mavuto a m'maganizo, Bonobology ili ndi alangizi ambiri odziwa bwino ntchito , kuphatikizapo Shambhavi Agrawal, omwe angakonde kukuthandizani panthawi yovutayi.

Zolozera Mfungulo

Ubwenzi ukhoza kuyamba kumva kutopa kwambiri pamene wina akumva ngati wokondedwa wake amamudalira
Kulankhula ndi okondedwa wanu ndi kukhala womasuka za malingaliro anu kungathandize
Ngati simukufunanso kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi okondedwa wanu, ganizirani zolimbitsa thupi kuti mukhale ndi ubale wabwino

Kaya mukufuna kunena kuti ndi ubale wotopetsa kapena ayi, ubale uliwonse womwe umakhudza mtendere wanu wamalingaliro, ntchito yanu, ndi nthawi yanu - ungafunike kuganiziridwanso. Pamapeto pa tsiku, ubwenzi wokongola ndi pamene mumamva ngati mukukula ndi munthu wina, m'malo movutitsidwa. Pali zambiri zokha zomwe chithandizo chingathenso kuchita. Perekani komaliza chifukwa mumawakondadi, koma musadzipangire nokha muzochitika zowawa kwambiri, zomwe zingabweretse kusweka mtima.

Ibibazo

1. Kodi mungakonze bwanji kutopa kwamalingaliro muubwenzi?

Ngati kutopa kwamalingaliro kwakukhudzani inu panokha, mutha kusankha kuchita nokha pofunafuna chithandizo ndikukhala ndi zizolowezi zabwino monga kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi komanso kudzisamalira. Ngati zakhudza ubale wanu, kulankhulana wina ndi mzake, kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yabwino, ndi kumvetsetsa chinenero cha chikondi cha winayo kungathandize.

2. Kodi n'kwachibadwa kumva kutopa muubwenzi?

Inde, kupsya mtima m'maubwenzi ndi kwachilendo ndipo kumatha chifukwa chokhala ndi nthawi yayitali yamavuto / nkhawa. Zomwe zimayambitsa kupsinjika nthawi zambiri zimatha kukhala ubale wapoizoni womwewo, kapena zifukwa zina monga kusagwirizana kwa ziyembekezo. Izi zingayambitse kutopa muubwenzi.

3. N’chifukwa chiyani ndimakhumudwa kwambiri?

Malinga ndi Healthline , kudzimva wopanda chiyembekezo, nthawi yayitali yopsinjika maganizo kapena nkhawa, kuvutika maganizo, mavuto azachuma, kukhala ndi ana, komanso kukhala ndi chisoni, zonsezi ndi zifukwa zomwe zimapangitsa munthu kumva kuti watopa kwambiri.

4. Kodi ubwenzi wanga ukusokoneza maganizo?

Ngati mukumva ngati mnzanuyo sakudzipereka konse kwa inu, kapena kuti mnzanuyo ndi wosowa kwambiri ndipo sakupatsani malo aliwonse, ndizotheka kuti mukukumana ndi chibwenzi chotopetsa. Zizindikilo zina za munthu amene ali pachibwenzi ndi wodekha mtima, ndi wosanyengerera, wouma khosi, ndipo savomereza malingaliro anu.

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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.