Ndikulimbana ndi Vuto Lapakati Lamwamuna Wanga Ndipo Ndikufunika Thandizo

Amuna samakonda kunena za izi pamene akukumana ndi zovuta. Akatero, mawu achipongwe onga akuti “munthu wolungama” akhoza kuvulaza kwambiri. Mwamuna wanu akakhala ndi vuto la zaka zapakati, ndizotheka kuti akhoza kuyamba kudandaula ndi maganizo oipa omwe ali nawo, omwe tsiku lina adzaphulika pamaso pake, zomwe zimakhudza ntchito yake komanso ubale wake ndi inu.

Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zowawa kwa abambo kuganiza kuti afika theka la moyo ndipo nthawi "ikutha". Pamene ziyembekezo zawo zokhuza kukhala otetezeka pazachuma sizinakwaniritsidwe, ndizotheka kuti zovuta zamaganizidwe monga kupsinjika maganizo zitha kukhala pafupi. Zikatero, kudziwa zoyenera kuchita kungathandize kwambiri banja lanu komanso thanzi lake.

Munkhaniyi, katswiri wa zamaganizo Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo okhudza kugonana ndi ubale, akufotokoza nkhani ya Adam ndi Nancy. Amatiuzanso momwe tingathanirane ndi mwamuna yemwe ali ndi vuto la zaka zapakati pa moyo wake yemwe akuoneka kuti sakuchira.

Kodi Vuto Lapakatikati Ndi Chiyani?

Kuti tiwonetsetse kuti palibe chisokonezo pa zomwe tikukambirana pano lero, tiyeni tifotokozeretu tanthauzo lake. Vuto lapakati pa moyo wapakati likhoza kuchitika kwa aliyense, mosasamala kanthu za jenda, ndipo nthawi zambiri limachitika zaka zapakati pa 45 mpaka 60. Ndi siteji ya moyo wa munthu pamene malingaliro a imfa yawo amakhala enieni, zofooka mu maubwenzi ndi ntchito zimakula, ndipo malingaliro a cholinga amatayika.

Popeza uku ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu, sikuti aliyense amadutsa muzinthu zotere. Zitha kubwerezedwa pambuyo pa chochitika chokhumudwitsa kapena kuchepa kwa luso lopeza chikhutiro ndi chiyamikiro pa zinthu zomwe munthu wapeza m'moyo wawo.

Popeza kuti vuto loterolo limayamba chifukwa cha kuzindikira ukalamba ndi malingaliro akuti imfa yatsala pang’ono kufa, kusintha kwakukulu m’moyo wa munthu kungabwere. Angathe kudwala matenda ovutika maganizo kapena kuyesera mwankhawa kuthamangitsa zizoloŵezi zaunyamata monga kugula zinthu mwachisawawa kapena kuchita zinthu zolimbitsa thupi mwachisawawa.

Mu mawonekedwe ake oipa kwambiri, gawo ili la moyo wa munthu lingapangitse kuti akumane ndi mavuto a maganizo ndi mavuto ena amisala. Vuto la pakati pa amuna nthawi zambiri limaona kusakhutira kwakukulu ngati chifukwa, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti azidzimva kuti ndi osatetezeka komanso kudziona kuti ndi wosafunika.

Tsopano popeza tili patsamba lomwelo, kudziwa zoyenera kuchita mwamuna wanu akakumana ndi vuto lapakati kungakhale kosavuta. Komabe, choyamba, tiyeni tione mmene moyo wa Adam ndi Nancy unayambukirira kwambiri.

Zizindikiro ndi Zizindikiro za Vuto Lapakati pa Moyo Wamwamuna

Adamu nthawizonse wakhala ali wodzidalira kwambiri, wopita patsogolo, ndi wopambana. Koma Nancy ananena kuti zinkakhala ngati wasintha kwambiri. Pali chikaiko m’zonse zimene amachita. Amaganiza ndi kukwiya kwambiri kuposa kale, ndipo pali kusintha kotheratu mu chilakolako chake cha kugonana. 

“Izi ndizo zizindikiro zazikulu zimene ndinaziwona m’zaka zapakati pa zaka za mwamuna wanga,” akutero Nancy, pamene anazindikira chimene chinali kuchitika. “Poyamba ndinaganiza kuti chinachake chiyenera kuti chinachitika ku ntchito.” Koma tsiku lina, antchito anzake atabwerako, anandiuza kuti anali kuchita bwino kuposa kale lonse kuntchito.” Pomalizira pake, ndinaikapo ziŵiri ndi ziŵiri pamodzi pamene anayamba kunena za imfa yake kuposa kale lonse,” iye anawonjezera motero.

Vuto la zaka zapakati pa amuna lingakhale chinthu chovuta kwambiri kuthana nacho. Popeza kuti potsirizira pake angaganize kuti kulankhula za malingaliro alionse odziona kukhala opereŵera ndi mchitidwe wosonyeza kufooka, akhoza kuubisa. Izi zisanachitike kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, ndikofunikira kuzindikira zovuta zomwe mwamuna wanu ali nazo. Tiyeni tione zimene zinachitikira Adamu.

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1. Amadziona kuti sangakwanitse pamene akugonana

"Adam amadziona kuti ndi wosakwanira m'mbali zambiri za moyo wake, kuphatikizapo kugonana. Amafunika kutsimikiziridwa nthawi zonse ndipo sindinathe kumuthandiza chifukwa sindikudziwa momwe ndingathandizire," anatero Nancy.

Nthawi ngati izi, mwina ego ya Adamu idaphwanyidwa ndi ukalamba wake. Mwina sangathe kuzindikira masinthidwe amene akukumana nawo. Ngakhale atatero, sangakhale ndi maganizo oyenera. Nancy akuona kuti sangathenso kumvetsa khalidwe lake logonana. “Nthawi zina amakhala wotakasuka ndipo nthawi zina sachita nawo chidwi chilichonse.”

2. Mwamuna wanga amatopa mpaka kufa

"Mwamuna wanga wayamba kudzimva wotopa pantchito. Mwamuna yemwe anali wolimbikira ntchito komanso wolimbikira kwambiri adakhala CEO adakali aang'ono kwambiri chifukwa cholimbikira. Tsopano akuti ntchito yake sikhala yosangalatsa. Mwina adakwaniritsa zolinga zake mwachangu kuposa momwe adakonzera. Alibe malingaliro oyambira yekha ndipo chifukwa chake sakudziwa momwe angachitire pakalipano. Chidwi chikuchepa ndipo ali ndi zaka 50 zokha," akutero Nancy.

3. Nthawi zonse amafuna kusintha

"Amangonena kuti akufuna kusintha. Tangosamukira ku New Jersey kuchokera ku New York ndipo takhala kuno kwa zaka zitatu zokha. Iye ali wokonzeka kusintha. Makhalidwe amenewa sakuwoneka ngati Adamu wakale yemwe ndimamudziwa. Adzasuntha pokhapokha atachita zomwe angathe. Ndikukhulupirira kuti pali zambiri zomwe angachite pano. Zomwe ndikuwona ndikugwa kwa chikhulupiliro chake ndipo kwa ine, ndikumva ngati akuthawa chinachake, "akutero Nancy.

Zimene Adam akukumana nazo ndi vuto la pakati pa moyo wake . Chinthu chomwe chingakhale chosaoneka ngati kuvutika maganizo komanso chooneka ngati chimfine. Amuna ali ndi chilakolako chofuna kusintha miyoyo yawo ndi moyo wawo. Amuna omwe akhudzidwa ndi vutoli amafuna kukhala ndi moyo wochuluka ndikuchita zambiri akazindikira kuti salinso ndi moyo wabwino. Akhoza kuvutika ndi vuto la kudzidalira lomwe limakhudza miyoyo yawo ndi ntchito zawo. Amayamba kumva kunjenjemera kuntchito.

4. Nthawi zonse amayang'ana pagalasi

“Posachedwapa wachita zinthu zachabechabe ndipo amathera nthawi yochuluka akukongoletsa tsitsi lake ndi kumenya masewera olimbitsa thupi.

Iye anapitiriza kufunsa ana athu aakazi achichepere ngati ali wamng’ono mokwanira.” Apa m’pamene ndinadzitsimikizira kuti ndinafunikira kudziŵa mmene ndingamuthandizire kulimbana ndi vuto la m’zaka zapakati,” Nancy anawonjezera motero.

5. Amakhala m'mbuyo

"Iye ndi wodabwitsa kwambiri ndipo amakumbukira za moyo wake wa koleji ndi unyamata nthawi zonse. Amatsegula ma Albums akale ndikumvetsera nyimbo za masiku ake a koleji. Tsopano akukwera mozungulira kupita kumsika ndikuyang'ana mafilimu onse kuyambira masiku ake a koleji. Ndikupeza kuti izi ndizofunika kwambiri," akufotokozanso.

6. Iye amazindikira kwambiri thanzi lake

Munthu wina amene amadwala matenda a shuga amaonetsetsa kuti ali ndi matenda a shuga mlungu uliwonse.

Zizindikiro za mavuto a pakati pa moyo wa mwamuna wanu sizingafanane ndi za Adamu, koma n'zotheka kuti mufotokoze zinthu zingapo zofanana ngati inunso mukukumana ndi vuto lofanana. Mukazindikira kuti zomwe mnzanu akukumana nazo si nkhani ya chisoni chokha, kupeza momwe mungathanirane ndi vuto la pakati pa moyo wa mwamuna wanu kumakhala kofunikira. Tiyeni tikambirane momwe tingachitire zimenezo.

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Momwe Mungathandizire Mwamuna Wanu Kutuluka M'mavuto Apakati

Munthu aliyense amakumana ndi zovuta mosiyana, koma nthawi zambiri zimakhudza kusintha momwe amachitira ndi kumva, komanso momwe amaonera moyo. Vuto lapakati pa moyo wapakati limatha kuchitika nthawi iliyonse m'moyo ndipo limatha zaka zingapo, koma limatchedwa choncho chifukwa nthawi zambiri limakhudza pakati pa moyo.

Amuna amayang'ana miyoyo yawo panthawiyi ndipo amaganiza kuti akhoza kukhala osangalala. Nthawi zina amalakalaka zambiri, komabe zimawavuta kuzindikira zomwe akufuna. Ena amadziona kuti ndi osakwanira. Ndi kusintha kwa moyo wapakatikati komwe amayi nthawi zambiri amakhala ngati "empty nest syndrome." Amuna nthawi zambiri amawunika zapakati pa moyo panthawiyi.

Amawunikanso graph yawo yantchito, mapulani awo azachuma, momwe banja lawo likulira, komanso kukula kwamunthu payekha. Kunena zoona, ndi nthawi yosintha m'moyo ndipo siyenera kuwonedwa ngati vuto monga momwe mawuwa akunenera. Cholinga chake ndi kukhala ndi njira yosinthira kusinthaku kukhala kosavuta komanso kogwirizana. Umu ndi momwe mungathandizire mnzanuyo kuthana ndi vuto lapakati.

1. Kuti muthe kuthana ndi vuto la zaka zapakati pa mwamuna wanu, limbikitsani kudzikonda kwake

Limbikitsani kudzikuza kwake pomuyamikira pamawonekedwe ake ndi kumukonda mwakuthupi. Ngakhale atakhala ndi zizindikiro za kusintha, mungakhalebe mkazi wachifundo ndi womvetsetsa. Kukhazikika kwanu n’kofunika kwambiri, chifukwa n’kosavuta kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akhumudwe ndi kukwiya. Ngati mukhala wodekha ndi kudekha, zidzakuthandizani kuthana ndi vuto la zaka zapakati pa mwamuna wanu.

2. Onani katswiri wa zaumoyo

Nkhani yapakati pa moyo ikhoza kuyambitsidwa ndi kusintha kwa thupi monga kukula kwa nkhawa za thanzi. Kukalamba ndi chinthu chosapeŵeka. Munthu akamakalamba, ufulu wosankha ndi kuyambiranso ungaoneke ngati ukucheperachepera, chisonicho chingaunjikane, ndipo maganizo ake oti sangagonjetsedwe ndiponso nyonga zake zimachepa. Izi ndi zotsatira za maganizo a ukalamba.

Funsani mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti alankhule ndi katswiri yemwe angamuuze kuti akupita patsogolo. Katswiriyo adzatha kumuuza za kusintha kwa midlife. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu adzadziwanso kuti sali yekha mu izi, kuti amuna ambiri ali nazo. Chofunika kwambiri, kukana zaka si njira yothetsera. Kulankhula kudzathandiza kwambiri.

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3. Chitani kafukufuku wamoyo

Muthandizeni kuchita kafukufuku wa moyo wanu. Ngati akufuna kusintha zinthu zofunika kwambiri m’moyo, khalani naye ndi kumuthandiza kudziwa zimene zikuyenda bwino m’moyo panopa ndi zomwe sizikuyenda bwino. Izi zidzamupatsa chithunzi cha zomwe ayenera kusintha ndi zomwe sayenera kusintha.

Mthandizeni kukonzanso mkhalidwe wake. Iye akukumbukira zinthu zabwino zimene zinkachitika m’mbuyomo chifukwa amakumbukira zinthu zabwino zimene zinkachitika pa nthawiyo n’kumati masiku ano ndi ovuta. Akumbutseni za chisangalalo chonse chomwe wapanga m'moyo wake mpaka pano. Muthandizeni kuti aziganizira kwambiri za tsogolo lake ndikuchita zonse zomwe angathe kuti apeze tsogolo labwino.

4. Muziganizira kwambiri za thanzi labwino

Mwamuna nthawi zambiri amayesa "kukonza mwachangu" akakumana maso ndi maso ndi imfa yake. Si zophweka kuti aliyense azindikire kuti tonsefe ndife anthu komanso kuti ndi chiyambi cha mapeto. Chotero tikufuna kuchedwetsa ukalamba ndi kukhalabe achichepere monga momwe tingathere. Koma kukana kapena kuchita zinthu mwachiphamaso sikuthetsanso chifukwa ukalamba udzafika.

Mavuto a moyo wapakati si matenda aliwonse koma samalani ndi nkhawa kapena kuvutika maganizo kobisika. Ngati mukuona kuti muli ndi vuto la kuvutika maganizo, muyenera kumupempha kuti akonze nthawi yokumana ndi dokotala wa matenda amisala. Kuti akuthandizeni kuyamba kuthandiza mwamuna wanu amene ali ndi vuto la moyo wapakati, gulu la alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito komanso odziwika bwino la Bonobology lili pafupi nanu.

5. Njira yosinthira pakugonana momasuka

Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuvomereza zosinthazo ndikuthana nazo. Kulankhulana momasuka ndikofunikira ndipo ngati nonse mungathe kusinkhasinkha kapena kuchita zinthu zauzimu ndiye kuti kuchiritsa kwamphamvu kumathandiza kwambiri kuti malingaliro anu ndi thupi lanu zizikhala zogwirizana. Nkhani yabwino ndiyakuti anthu ambiri amapezanso zachiwerewere pazaka izi ndikuyamba kusangalala ndi kugonana komanso kukondana kwambiri.

Vuto lapakati pazaka zapakati si matenda ndipo limakhala ngati kupita patsogolo kwachilengedwe. Sikovuta kuthana ndi vuto lapakati koma nthawi zina upangiri waukatswiri umakuthandizani kuwongola bwino. Pamene kusiya mwamuna wamavuto apakati ndi lingaliro lomaliza m'maganizo mwanu, chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti mumuthandize.

Ibibazo

Malangizo 15 Akatswiri Pa Chibwenzi Muzaka 40 Monga Mwamuna

Ukwati Wopanda Kugonana Pamwamuna - Njira 9 Zomwe Zimamuvuta Kwambiri

Nkhani 10 Zosiyidwa Zobisika Pamaubwenzi Ndi Malangizo 5 Othana Nawo

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.