12 Zinthu Zopweteka Zomwe Inu Kapena Wokondedwa Wanu Musanene Kwa Wina ndi Mnzake

Inde, kulankhulana ndiko mfungulo ya unansi wachimwemwe. Koma zimenezo zimakhala zabwino malinga ngati kulankhulana kukukhalabe kwabwino ndi kolimbikitsa, ndipo sikumafika pomalankhula zinthu zopweteka kwa munthu amene mumamukonda. Ndi bwino kusiyana maganizo ndi kusiya maganizo oipawo. Zonse zimalakwika pamene mawu anu aukali amakhala chifukwa chochitira nkhanza munthu wina.

Mwachitsanzo, “Ndathana nawe, sindiwe amene ndimaganiza kuti ndiwe” kapena “Lekani kugwiritsa ntchito nkhawa zanu kuti anthu akumvetsereni” – izi ndi zinthu zoopsa kwambiri zoti munganene pokangana. Ndipo mukadzazindikira kulakwitsa komwe mwapanga, zitha kukhala mochedwa kuti zonse zichoke ndikupepesa.

Mawu opweteka akanenedwa, amakhalabe m’maganizo mwawo mpaka kalekale. Chifukwa chake, tili pano kuti tikupatseni chidziwitso pazomwe simuyenera kunena kwa anzanu. Koma kodi mungakonze bwanji chibwenzi MUKAlankhula zinthu zopweteka? Kodi mungakonze bwanji kunyozedwa muubwenzi ndikubwezeretsa mtendere ndi mgwirizano pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu? Tili ndi malingaliro pa izi.

mmene kulankhula zinthu zopweteka kumawonongera ubwenzi 

Tonse takhala ndi ndewu komanso kukamba mawu aukali, opweteka ndi anzathu. Vuto ndiloti ubale umakhala wodabwitsa pambuyo pa mikangano, ndipo singakhale ntchito yophweka kutuluka popanda vuto. Lingaliro lakuti “Mnzanga samandiyamikira” limakhalabe ndi inu.

Masabata angapo apitawo, mnzanga Sharon adagawana nane zomwezi, ndipo ndikuganiza kuti owerenga athu pano akhoza kumva. Mawu ake enieni anali akuti, "Sindingachite bwino paubwenzi wanga. Chilichonse chomwe ndimalankhula ndi cholakwika kwa mnzanga. Amanditcha misala tikamamenyana. Ndamva momwe kusagwirizana kungathe kupha ubale, koma sindinaganize kuti zomwezo zingandichitikire. Ndimakhala wokhumudwa nthawi zonse. Kodi ndingadziperekere ulemu wanga mpaka liti? sunga ubalewu? "

Mwina osati pa tsiku limodzi, koma ngati kulankhula zinthu zopweteka pamene wakwiya kukhala chitsanzo, akhoza kuchepetsa poyizoni kwambiri chikondi, kwa nthawi yaitali ubwenzi. Munthu aliyense ali ndi malire ake pankhani yochita kusalemekeza ndipo akangodutsa malirewo, amafunafuna njira yopulumukira. Izi ndi zomwe zimachitika mawu opweteka alanda ubale:

• Zimaonekera kwa wokondedwa wanu kuti simusamala za momwe akumvera
• Zimakhudza kudzidalira kwawo kuwasiya ndi chipsera chakuya chamalingaliro
• Amayamba kutaya kukukhulupirirani ndi kukulemekezani
• Iwo amatha kupatukana pang'onopang'ono, kugawana zochepa, ndikupewa kukhala nawo
• Khalidwe lanu lamwano lidzawapangitsa kukhala audani kwambiri zomwe zimatsogolera ku ndewu zosatha
• Zinthu zitha kutsika kwambiri nkhanza
• Kukhala wopweteka kwa wokondedwa wanu kumasiya chitseko cha kusakhulupirika pamene adzayang'ana chikondi ndi chitonthozo kwina
• Iwe umakhala munthu woyipa m'buku lawo mpaka kalekale

12 Zinthu Zopweteka Zomwe Inu Kapena Wokondedwa Wanu Musanene Kwa Wina ndi Mnzake

Pamene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akuukira khalidwe lanu popanda chifukwa kapena mnzanuyo nthawi zonse akubweretsa zakale zolakwika mu maubwenzi, zimakhala zovuta kukhala chete. Kuti muteteze ulemu wanu, inunso mutha kunena zinthu zingapo zoipa. Osati mphindi yanu yonyada, tazipeza. Kupatula apo, si dziko langwiro ndipo sitiri oyera mtima.

Kapena mwinamwake ndinu - nonse ndinu omvetsetsa kwambiri, anthu oganiza bwino, kupatula kuledzera ndi kunena zinthu zopweteka zakhala khalidwe lanu loopsa kwambiri. Ubwenzi wanu ukumira pang’onopang’ono mumdima wa chidani. Ichi ndichifukwa chake, pali zinthu 12 zomwe simuyenera kunena kwa anzanu ofunikira:

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1. Munayamba mwandichitirapo chiyani?

Timakonda kunyalanyaza zoyesayesa ndi kudzipereka zomwe ena amatipatsa chifukwa cha ife. Timangowona mtundu wathu waubwenzi ndipo timakonda kuyika malingaliro athu ndi malingaliro athu pa iwo okha. Pamene muli m’kati mwa ndewu mukufunsa kuti mnzanuyo wathandizira chiyani paubwenziwo, n’kwachibadwa kuganiza kuti, “Mnzanga amandipangitsa kumva ngati munthu woipa.”

Zoyesayesa zaubwenzi siziyenera kunenedwa kapena kukumbutsidwa nthawi zonse. Wokondedwa wanu angakhale atakuchitirani zambiri popanda inu kudziwa. Kutaya mtengo wake monga choncho ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zopweteka kwambiri kunena kwa mkazi kapena mwamuna pambuyo pa ntchito yawo yonse yovuta. Mutha kumutcha wokondedwa wanu ngati a mwamuna waulesi kapena mkazi, kapena mnzawo wodzikonda amene samaganizira za inu. Koma ukatsitsimuka, udzaona zonse zimene akhala akukuchitirani. Tsoka ilo, mawu opweteka anali atatuluka kale m'mlengalenga.

2. Mwangowononga tsiku langa

Anthu mkati maukwati opambana/ maubwenzi amamvetsetsa kuti wokondedwa wawo alibe udindo pa zinthu zomwe zikuyenda bwino pazochitika zawo. Ziribe kanthu kuti mwakhala ndi tsiku loipa bwanji, musamawauze kuti ndizomwe zimayambitsa zochitika zakunja kapena zamkati. N’kutheka kuti mukukumana ndi zitsenderezo zakuntchito kapena mwakhala tsiku lonse mukuchita sewero la banja lanu. Ngakhale zili choncho, sizimakupatsirani chiphaso chaulere kuti mudzudzule mnzanu.

N’kutheka kuti unangothedwa nzeru ndi vuto lako ndipo sunalingalire zimenezo. Pamene munthu anena chinthu chimodzi koma akutanthauza china, ngakhale pamenepo, palibe chomwe chingalungamitse kuimba mlandu mnzanuyo kuti akuwonongerani tsiku lanu. Ingoyang'anizana nazo, zinali zitawonongeka kale. Ganizirani mmene mungamve ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akulankhula mawu opweteka ngati amenewa. Khalidwe lotere lidzangopangitsa kuti ubale wanu ukhale woyipa. 

3. Yang'anani kwa iwo ndipo yang'anani ife

"Ndimadana ndi ubale wanga koma sindingathe kumusiya Randall. Ndikanakonda tikadakhala ndi zomwe iwe ndi Josh muli nazo" - Nthawi zonse mutha kuululira mnzanu ndikugawana mavuto anu paubwenzi. Koma musamaponye chinthu chopweteka kwambiri pankhope ya mnzanuyo. Ubale uliwonse ndi wosiyana. Palibe chifukwa chogwera mu kufananiza msampha; chingakhale chinthu chopweteka kwambiri kunena kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi.

Ngati muli ndi vuto, kambiranani. Osayika banja lina ngati benchmark. Monga akunena, udzu nthawi zonse umakhala wobiriwira mbali inayo. Zomwe mukuziwona zitha kukhala zowoneka bwino osati zenizeni za ubale wawo. Akhoza kunyalanyazana kotheratu pamene palibe wina aliyense. Kapena iwo angakhaledi mu kulunzanitsa. Zikatero, nayenso, ndicho chomangira kulakalaka ndi kuphunzira kuchokera, osati ntchito kudziponya nokha ndi mnzanu pansi basi.

Kudzifananiza ndi maanja ena pamaso pa okondedwa wanu kumawapangitsa kukhala odetsedwa komanso kumachepetsa chikhalidwe chawo. Koma m'dziko lamakono la maubwenzi abodza komanso PDA yapa media, timatha kufananiza moyo wathu wachikondi ndi womwe ukuyembekezeredwa mdziko lapansi.

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4. Chifukwa chiyani mumandichititsa manyazi nthawi zonse?

Zimenezi zimachitika ngati onse awiri achokera m’zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana. Wokondedwa wanu amayesa kufanana ndi wanu ziyembekezo za ubale, koma chinachake kapena chinacho chimasowa nthawi zonse. M’malo moyamikira zimene mnzanuyo akuyesetsa kuchita kuti agwirizane ndi dziko lanu, mumawadzudzula chifukwa chofuna kukuchititsani manyazi. M'malo mongoyang'ana momwe simumaphunzira mokwanira za mnzanuyo ndi zovuta zawo, mumagwiritsa ntchito malingaliro a classist kapenaableist.

Zili ngati mwamuna wanu akamalankhula zinthu zopweteka akakhala kuti akuchita manyazi chifukwa choti simunayesere patebulo paphwando, kapena mkazi wanu akuseka chovala chanu chausiku. Ziribe kanthu kuti manyazi awa akuchokera kwa ndani, inu kapena mnzanu, mfundo ndi yakuti simukuganiza kuti munthu winayo ali ndi mphamvu zokwanira kuti agwirizane ndi msinkhu wanu.

Zimenezi zimapweteka kwambiri moti zingawononge kudzidalira kwa mnzanuyo n’kumupangitsa kuganiza kuti, “Sindingachite chilichonse bwino m’banja langa. Ngati mukufunadi kuphunzira kusiya kunena zinthu zopweteka mukakwiya, muyenera kuvomereza ndi kulandira wokondedwa wanu m'dziko lanu m'malo momuchotsa mwankhanza.

5. Ntchito yanu si yofunika monga yanga

“Mwamuna wanga amandinyoza,” akutero Melanie, mphunzitsi wa sukulu ya ana a zaka 28 wa ku Brooklyn. Iye ananenanso kuti: “Ankakonda kundikumbutsa kuti ntchito yanga ndi yosafunika, chifukwa aliyense akhoza kuchita zimene ineyo ndimachita koma monga wosunga ndalama amangoona kuti ndi wapamwamba.” Choipa kwambiri n’chakuti mwamuna wanga amandinyoza ndikamalira.

Kodi muyenera kuchita chiyani ngati wanu mwamuna amakunyoza? Nkhani ya Melanie ndi nkhani ya m'mabanja ambiri omwe munthu mmodzi ndi womanga nyumba kapena sapeza ndalama zambiri ngati wina (mosasamala kanthu kuti ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi). Mawu aliwonse opweteka omwe amanenedwa amakhala ndi zotsatira zake ndipo kunyoza mnzanuyo kumangopangitsa kuti asakulemekezeni. Ziribe kanthu kuti ntchito yanji ndi yovuta kwambiri, ntchito ndi ntchito ndipo aliyense amanyadira kuchita zomwe amachita. Pokhapokha mutalemekeza zimenezo, izi zingapangitse bala losatha muubwenzi lomwe lingakhale lovuta kuchiza.

6. Ndinu kulakwitsa kwanga kwakukulu

Nachi chimodzi mwa zitsanzo za ndemanga zotsutsa. Woŵerenga wathu Andrew anatilembera kuti: “Chibwenzi changa nthaŵi zonse chimandiuza kuti ndichoke tikamamenyana. Kuledzera ndi kunena zinthu zopweteka ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zake zofiira kwambiri. Chabwino, Andrew, mukudziwa chiyani, tonse tiri nazo kukayikira za ubale nthawi ina, koma nthawi zambiri ndi gawo. Timakambirana momasuka komanso modekha wina ndi mnzake.

Nthawi zina zinthu zikafika povuta, timakonda kuuza mnzathu kuti kugwirizana naye kunali kolakwika. Pa nthawiyi, miyezi kapena zaka zonse za chibwenzi zimakayikiridwa chifukwa cha mawu amenewa. Ngakhale kuti sitinkafuna kutero, mnzathuyo amayamba kuganiza kuti sitikumukondanso. Komabe, izi zikunenedwa nthawi ina, pakutentha kwa mphindi, ndizomveka. Ngati mnzanuyo akubwerezabwereza, pali mwayi waukulu kuti simuli wofunika kwa iwo monga momwe mukuganizira.

7. N’cifukwa ciani simuyesa kukhala ngati iye?

Kodi simuyenera kunena chiyani pokangana? Ndemanga yopweteka yomwe ingaweruze mnzanuyo kuti ndi iwo eni. Nthawi yomwe umawauza kuti akhale ngati munthu yemwe sali, zimawapweteka kwambiri. Sangakuuzeni momwe zimawakhudzira, koma zenizeni, zimadula chithunzi chawo, kudzikonda kwawo, komanso Kudzidalira.

Ankayamba kudziona m’njira ina. Mukuwapempha kuti akhale ngati munthu wina kumawapatsa lingaliro lakuti 'winawake' angawalowe m'malo ngati sasintha. Zidzawapangitsa kukhala osamala kwambiri za luso lawo, khalidwe lawo, ndi maonekedwe awo. Ndipo izi sizimangowopseza ubale wanu, komanso zimapangitsa mnzanuyo kumva kuti mukuwanyenga.

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8. Ndi vuto lanu

Ngakhale zitapweteka bwanji, ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zofala kwambiri zomwe anthu amatha kuzinena ali pachibwenzi. Nthawi zambiri, m'modzi mwa okondedwawo amawononga zinthu ndipo mumangokhalira kuchita zinthu zoipa kusunthitsa mlandu. Ngakhale alakwa, pali njira zina zowafotokozera mmene angapewere ndi kulankhula nawo modekha m’malo mongowaimba mlandu.

Mwina mnzanuyo sanalakwitse mwadala ndipo mawu anu opweteka angowonjezera zinthu. Ngati zili mwanjira ina, ndi bwino kuvomereza kulakwa kwanu kulikonse kumene mwalakwitsa. Kuuza wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse kuti “ndi vuto lanu” kumadzetsa mkwiyo mumtima mwawo.

9. Ndikufuna kutha / kusudzulana

Ichi ndi chinthu chopweteka kwambiri kunena kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi amene mumamukonda kwambiri zaka zonsezi. Mu ubale/ukwati, zonse si maluwa. Padzakhala nthawi zomwe simudzakhala patsamba lomwelo ndipo mungafune kutuluka. Panthawi imeneyi, munthu wokhumudwa amayamba kuchita zinthu ndi kunena zinthu zomwe sukutanthauza. Nthawi zonse zinthu zikasokonekera, mutha kukhumba kusudzulana/kutha.

Mumayiwala zomwe mnzanuyo ayenera kukumana nazo pambuyo pokwiya msanga. Iwo ayenera kuti ali ndi nkhawa chifukwa chodwala n’kumaganiza kuti: “Mwamuna wanga ananena zimene sindingathe kuzithetsa. kapena “Chibwenzi changa/chibwenzi chimandiuza kuti ndipeze munthu wina akakwiya. Kodi ndikoyenera kuwononga dziko lanu ndi wokondedwa wanu? Taganizirani izi.

10. Ndinu odzikonda kwambiri

Nthawi zina mumaona kuti chibwenzi sichikuyenda momwe mukufunira. Ngati mnzanuyo sakukwaniritsa zomwe mukuyembekezera, pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zambiri zomwe zimayambitsa zochita zawo. Kodi mukuumirira mopambanitsa? Kodi mnzanuyo ali mu gawo loterolo m'moyo wawo momwe amafunikira kudziika patsogolo kuti akhale ndi moyo wabwino? Ganizirani musanalankhule mawu a 's'.

Kuitana mnzanu wodzikonda kumasonyeza kuti mnzanuyo sakusamala za inu, ndipo izi sizingakhale chifukwa cha kupsa mtima kwanu. Ganizilani zinthu zonse zimene mnzanuyo anacita asananene zinthu zopweteka kwa munthu amene mumamukonda. Ndipo dzifunseni nokha, ndinu odzikonda mu ubale wanu?

11. Ndamusowa wakale wanga

Kodi bwenzi lanu limakhalabe ndi maubwenzi akale chifukwa sanadutsebe munthu wina wakale? Nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta kuti anthu ambiri apitirire pambuyo pa kutha koma iyi si njira yothandizira wokondedwa wanu. Mutha kukhala omasuka ndi mnzanu. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti nthawi zonse mumauzana zakukhosi kwanu.

Muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti pali zinthu zina zomwe muyenera kudzisungira nokha (kapena kuuza anzanu apamtima), apo ayi, mutha kuvulaza mnzanuyo. Kutchula munthu wakale komanso kunena zabwino za iye ndikwabwino, koma kuchita izi mukamamuyerekezera ndi bwenzi lanu ndi chinthu chopweteka kwambiri. Kunena kuti mumamuphonya wakale wanu nthawi zambiri kumapangitsa mnzanuyo kumva ngati wobwereranso ndipo amayamba kudzimva kuti ndi wocheperapo kwa munthuyo.

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12. Sindikukondaninso

“Sindikukondaninso” – Kodi zimenezi sizikumveka ngati msomali womaliza m’bokosi? Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akamalankhula zinthu zopweteka ngati zimenezi, maganizo anu onse amasintha. Choncho, pokhapokha ngati mwakonzeka kuthetsa zinthu ndi mnzanuyo, musaganize za kugwiritsa ntchito mawuwa mkangano uliwonse. Paubwenzi womwe wadutsa gawo la honeymoon, pakhala zokwera ndi zotsika zingapo, ndipo osakwatiwa okongola amakunyengererani kuti mubwererenso mumasewera.

Panthawi imeneyi, mungaone kuti simukondanso mnzanuyo. Kulankhula izi kwa wokondedwa wanu kumawapweteka kwambiri, makamaka ngati ali odzipereka komanso odzipereka ku chiyanjano. Muzimvetsa bwino mmene mukumvera musananene zimenezi..

Kodi Mungakonze Bwanji Ubale Pambuyo Polankhula Zopweteka?

Maukwati amatha kukhala ndi zovuta zambiri koma kubwereza zomwe zatchulidwa pamwambazi kungathe kuwafooketsa mkati. Zimakhala zovuta kupeza umagwirira yemweyo kubwerera kamodzi mawu Chip kutali pa maziko a ubale wanu, amene amapangidwa kuchokera kudalira, kudalira maganizo, kulemekezana, ndipo chofunika kwambiri, chikondi. Kusakoma mtima kwanu kungawononge zonsezo.

N’chifukwa chiyani timalankhula zinthu zopweteka m’banja? Kodi nthawi zonse timatanthauza? Kodi timafunadi kukhumudwitsa munthu wina? Kapena ndichifukwa timangowawona ngati thumba lotulutsa zokhumudwitsa? Ziribe kanthu chifukwa chake ndi chiyani, ndi nthawi yoti muwunikenso mozama momwe mawu opwetekawa amakhudzira mnzanuyo. Popeza muli pano, tikuganiza kuti mukuyang'ana malingaliro oti muwononge zowonongeka. Ndiye mumakonza bwanji chibwenzi mutanena zinthu zopweteka?

• Choyamba, pendani mawu otuluka m’kamwa mwanu pamene mukumenyana kapena pamene mukukambirana. Mukutanthauzadi zomwe mwanenazi? Ngati sichoncho, kodi zonse zidalakwika pati ndipo njira yoyenera yofotokozera zomwe zili m'maganizo mwanu ndi iti?
• Chotsatira ndicho, ndithudi, kupepesa moona mtima kwa wokondedwa wanu. Onetsetsani kuti mwafotokoza zomwe kwenikweni mukumvera chisoni
• Vomerezani kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi ufulu wokhumudwa kapena kukhumudwa pambuyo pa nkhondo ya mawu ndipo sangavomereze kupepesa kwanu panthawi yomweyi.
• Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti muwapatse nthawi ndi malo omwe akufunika kuti athe kukonza zakukhosi kwawo ndikuchiritsa kuvulala koyamba
• Kumbukirani, masewera olakwa si njira yoyenera yochitira
• Tengani udindo wonse pazochita zanu ndi mawu anu, makamaka pamene mukuyesera kukonza. Musabwere ndi zifukwa zobisa zamwano zanu
• Lankhulani mogwira mtima. Ngati pali zina zomwe mukufuna kuti mnzanuyo achite mosiyana, khalani nawo ndi kuwafotokozera modekha chifukwa chake mukufuna kuti zichitidwe motere komanso mvetserani maganizo awo pankhaniyi moleza mtima kwambiri.
• Sonyezani kuti pepani, osati kungonena. Pepani moona mtima posonyeza chisoni chenicheni kuti mubwezeretsenso chikondi ndi chikhulupiriro cha mnzanuyo mwa inu ndi ubwenziwo
• Dziwonetseni nokha, ndi kudzipereka kwa wokondedwa wanu, kuti mudzagwira ntchito pazinthu zomwe zikuyenera kuthetsedwa kuti muchepetse mkwiyo wanu.
• Chitani chilichonse chomwe chingatenge, kuyambira kusinkhasinkha mpaka kuwerenga mabuku okhudza kuwongolera mkwiyo mpaka kupita kukalandira chithandizo cha mabanja
• Yesetsani kufuna kunena mawu onyoza ngati "N'chifukwa chiyani mukusowa?", "Tabweranso!", Kapena "Ndathana nawe"
• Kuwonongeka kwaubwenzi kwachitika kale ndipo yankho lake ndilakuti mukhale aulemu, chikondi, ndi ulemu kuti muthandize wokondedwa wanu kuchira ku ululuwo. Izi zibwera mosavutikira mukangokonza zovuta zapakati panu awiri
• Perekani nthawi; musafulumire ndondomekoyi
• Pomaliza, tulukani ndi manja achikondi kuti amve kuti ndi apadera komanso osamaliridwanso - Kuyambira usiku wamasiku, mphatso ndi maluwa, kukhala ndi nthawi yabwino ndi wina ndi mnzake, monga masiku akale pomwe mudayamba chibwenzi.

Ndikukhulupirira kuti tsopano tikumveka bwino pa "Kodi simuyenera kunena chiyani mukakangana?" Wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse amakumbukira zomwe mudanena mobwerezabwereza ndipo palibe chomwe mungachite chomwe chingabwezeretse. Zidzapanga mpanda pakati pa inu ndi mnzanu womwe ungathe kuchiritsa pakapita nthawi. Pamene nonse mukuchira, mudzazindikira kuti palibe chomwe chatsala muubwenzi/ukwati. Choncho ngati mukunena zinthu zopweteka mutakwiya, fufuzani mwamsanga.

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