Kutaya Maganizo Vs. Kutulutsa mpweya: Kusiyana, Zizindikiro, ndi Zitsanzo

Tonsefe timakhala ndi masiku omwe timafuna kutsanulira zokhumudwitsa zathu kapena nkhawa zathu m'khutu la wodwala kamodzi kapena kawiri. Koma, mosiyana ndi zomwe anthu ambiri amaganiza, kukayikira kuti kuyabwa sikungabweretse mpumulo weniweni kapena kuthetsa mavuto amalingaliro, sayansi ikuwonetsa. Ndipo kungasokonezenso omvera. Ndiye kodi kutulutsa mawu kumakhala kovuta liti? Kodi kutulutsa mawu athu kumayambira liti kuchoka pa kutulutsa mawu abwino kupita ku kutulutsa mawu mwachindunji? Kodi tingasiyanitse bwanji? Ndipo tingaletse bwanji kutaya mawu oopsa kuti kusatitopetse m'maganizo?

Kuti tipeze mayankho ena, tinalumikizana ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Devaleena Ghosh (M.Res, Manchester University), yemwe anayambitsa Kornash: The Lifestyle Management School, yemwe ndi katswiri pa uphungu wa mabanja komanso chithandizo cha mabanja. Anatipatsa chidziwitso pa njira yabwino yotulutsira mpweya m'thupi motsutsana ndi kutaya zinthu m'maganizo, momwe tingachitire ndi kutaya zinthu m'thupi pamene zikuchitika kawirikawiri, komanso momwe tingakhazikitsire malire pamene tafika povuta, kapena tayamba kumva ngati chidebe cha zinyalala m'maganizo. Ndipo momwe tingachitire izi popanda kutaya ubale wofunikira.

Kodi Emotional Dumping N'chiyani?

Kutaya mtima ndi pamene wina (kapena chinachake) amakuyambitsani ndipo mumatsitsa malingaliro anu onse oipa kwa wina (kapena wina wosagwirizana ndi chochitikacho, monga bwenzi lapamtima kapena wachibale). Zimachitika: 

• Popanda fyuluta kapena chenjezo
• Popanda kuganiza momwe zingakhudzire omvera 
• Popanda kuganizira ngati ali m'maganizo kuti akumvetsereni konse

Ndiye kusiyana kotani pakati pa kutaya mtima ndi kugawana maganizo? Chomalizachi chimaphatikizapo anthu awiri kuuzana moona mtima zakukhosi kwawo. Ndipo kwenikweni chimawapangitsa kumva bwino. Koma kutaya mtima ndi mawu onyoza omwe amakhudza omvera. Sizipindulitsanso wokamba nkhani. "Simumachita izi ngati njira yodzisamalira. Ndipo simusamala za munthu amene mukum'taya. Monga kutaya mtima , kutaya mtima m'maubwenzi kumakhala koopsa ngati simukudziwa momwe mawu anu amakhudzira omvera. Izi ndi zoopsa ndipo anthu ena amachitanso khalidweli kuti akhale oipa komanso oipa," akutero Devaleena.

Kuti timvetse bwino izi, tiyeni tiwone zitsanzo za kutaya mtima:

• “Mnzanga wapamtima wapaubwana anayamba kubwera kwa ine nthaŵi zonse masana ndi kundigwetsera mavuto ake pa ine. Panalibe kulemekeza nthaŵi yanga ndi malingaliro anga. Sanali kupempha thandizo ndipo anakana kutenga thayo lirilonse la zosankha zake zoipa. Pambuyo pake zinakhala zotopetsa kwambiri zamaganizo ndi zakupha kotero kuti ndinasiya kumuimbira foni ndi kuyankha mameseji ake. Kunali kutha kwa mabwenzi,” akutero Jade, wa ku Minnesota, Wea.
• "Ndinali ndi tsiku loipa kuntchito - Kusamvana ndi mnzanga. Nditapita kunyumba, ndinataya malingaliro anga kwa mnzanga nthawi yaikulu. Zinanditengera masiku angapo kuti ndizindikire momwe zinaliri zopanda phindu ndi zopanda chilungamo kutulutsa mkwiyo wanga wonse pa munthu amene analibe chochita ndi mkhalidwewo, " akukumbukira motero Halo, wotsogolera malonda ku Michigan.

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Kodi Kupuma Kwabwino N'kutani?

Kodi kufotokoza nkhani yanu kumakhala kothandiza komanso kopindulitsa liti? Malinga ndi kafukufukuyu , ndi pamene mumakambirana zinthu ndi munthu amene akumvetsa bwino komwe mukuchokera kapena amene akukumana ndi vuto lomwelo monga inu. "Ndi kusinthana kwabwino komwe mumalankhula zakukhosi kwanu popanda kumva kufunika koukira omvera anu (ngati sakuyankha momwe mukufunira). Cholinga chake ndikupeza mpumulo ku kukhumudwa komwe kulipo, m'malo motsimikizira kuti ndinu wolondola. Chifukwa chake, kufotokoza nkhani kwa wina kungakhale njira yolankhulirana chilichonse chomwe chikukukhumudwitsani popanda kudzudzula aliyense," akutero Devaleena. Mu kufotokoza nkhani bwino,

• Mumadziwa zomwe mwakhumudwitsidwa nazo ndipo mumamva kuti mutha kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu mwanjira yathanzi
• Mwadziwitsa omvera kuti muli ndi vuto kapena losasangalatsa kunena. Ndipo mwawafunsa ngati pali nthawi yabwino yokambirana, akutero Devaleena 
• Mumadziwa kuti kusonyeza kukhumudwa ndi njira yopezera phindu. Ndipo kuti mutangonena mawu anu, muyenera kupita patsogolo kuti muchitepo kanthu. Kapena kambiranani ndi munthu amene anakuyambitsani poyamba

Ndiye pali kusiyana kotani pakati pa kudandaula ndi kutulutsa mawu? Mukubetchera. Mukadandaula, mumawona zinthu m'njira imodzi yokha: Yanu. Koma kuululira munthu wina ndiko kufuna kupeza malingaliro ena. Kapena zitha kukuthandizani kuti muchepetse malingaliro anu ndikukhazika mtima pansi kulira kwaukali muubongo wanu kuti mutha kuganiza bwino ndikuzindikira zoyenera kuchita. Ndipo mmenemo pali kusiyana pakati pa venting vs ranting, nawonso. Ngakhale kuti kutulutsa mpweya ndi kukwiya zimachokera ku kutengeka maganizo, kukalipa kumaphatikizapo kumangokhalira kudandaula. Kaya wina akumvetsera kapena ayi. Ndipo nthawi zambiri zimakusiyani okwiya kapena okhumudwa kuposa momwe munayambira. 

Komanso, poganizira zotulutsa mpweya m'thupi poyerekeza ndi kutaya mpweya m'thupi, dziwani kuti kutulutsa mpweya m'thupi kumafuna kugawana dala ndi kuchita zinthu zomwe zili ndi malire abwino a malingaliro . Koma kutaya mpweya m'thupi kumatanthauza kukakamiza munthu kuti asamachite chilichonse chomwe chingakupangitseni kuti muyambe kulakalaka.

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Kutaya mtima vs kutulutsa mpweya wabwino 

Kodi kutulutsa mpweya wabwino? Izo ndithudi zikhoza kukhala. Kutulutsa malingaliro olakwika ndi imodzi mwa njira zothandiza kwambiri zochepetsera mkwiyo ndi kukhazika mtima pansi. Kutaya, panthawiyi, ndizinthu zomwe zimasokoneza maubwenzi amapangidwa. Koma nthawi zambiri, anthu ambiri sadziwa n’komwe kuti akuchita zimenezo. Ndi chifukwa chakuti kutulutsa mpweya ndi kutaya sikophweka kusiyanitsa. Ndipo zambiri zimadalira mmene womvera amawaonera. Nthawi zina, mungaganize kuti mukungotulutsa mpweya kapena kufunafuna chithandizo. Koma womvera angaone ngati kutaya. Ndiye kodi mzere pakati pa venting vs emotional tamping uli pati? Gome ili mwachiyembekezo likuthandizani kusiyanitsa momveka bwino:

Kutaya Mtima	Kutulutsa mpweya wabwino
1. Kutaya mtima ndi cyclical, kudzikonda, ndi mbali imodzi. Wodulirayo samasamala momwe womvera angamve pa kugawana kwawo mopambanitsa	1. Kutulutsa mpweya wabwino ndi njira ziwiri, zoganizira, ndipo zimachitika mkati mwa nthawi yeniyeni. Zimapangitsa kuti munthu amene akulandirayo akhalebe pamutu womveka bwino komanso wabwino ndikumvetsera mwachidwi
2. Wotaya amapewa udindo uliwonse kapena aliyense payekha kapena kuyankha pa chilichonse chomwe chamupangitsa kuti anyoze. Kwa iwo, vuto limakhala la munthu wina	2. Wowona mtima akufuna kukonza zomwe zachitika, gawo lawo mu izo, ndi momwe akumvera ndi thandizo la omvera. Iwo sakuyang'ana kuti aziimba mlandu
3. Samamatira ku nkhaniyo ndikuyamba kulemba mndandanda wa zochapira zina, zomwe nthawi zambiri sizigwirizana, zopweteka ndi zodandaula kuti omvera atenge mbali yawo.	3. Woyimitsira mlengalenga amakhalabe pamutu. Iwo samachoka kumbali iliyonse kuti amange mlandu wawo kapena kuti atsimikizidwe
4. Samayang'ana ngati omvera ali ndi bandwidth kuti awamve. Ndipo amakonda kutsekereza anzawo apamtima ndi okondedwa awo panthawi zovuta kwambiri kapena malo	4. Amapempha chilolezo asanafotokoze zokhumudwitsa kapena zakukhosi kwawo. Ndipo nthawi zonse amaganizira nthawi ndi malo a omvera
5. Wotayira ndi wozunzidwa kosatha, koma alibe chikhumbo chenicheni chofuna kupeza njira zothetsera mavuto. Choncho ndemanga iliyonse yolimbikitsa imakhala yosavomerezeka	5. Wothirira mpweya sadzivutitsa yekha ndipo amakhala wongoganizira chabe. Amafufuza ndi kuganizira zomwe omvera angayankhe

Zizindikiro za 7 za Kutaya Mtima

Zizindikiro za kutaya mtima ndi zambiri. Ndipo nthawi zina sizimawonekera. Koma izi n'zoonekeratu: Ngati mungosiya kuti zipitirire popanda kuletsa ndipo simukuika malire a kutaya mtima, pali mwayi waukulu woti mulowe muubwenzi woopsa kwambiri. Kuphatikiza apo, kufotokoza chilichonse chomwe chamupweteka komanso kudandaula kungakwiyitse omvera anu. Kapena, kuwakankhira kutali. Zingakupangitseninso kukhala mumtima woipa. Ndipo ndani akufunika zimenezo!

Kuti muchepetse kutaya mtima kwapoizoni, ndi bwino kuyang'ana machenjezo awa ndikupeza njira zabwino zowonetsera zovuta komanso zopsinjika:

1. Mawu anu amangobwerabe owawa 

Zochitika zina ndi zochitika pamoyo zimatha kusiya kulawa kowawa mkamwa. Koma bwanji ngati chilichonse chimene munganene chokhudza munthu wina kapena chinachake chikukwiyitsa kwambiri - Ndipo simungathe kusiya? Malinga ndi Devaleena, kuwawidwa mtima kwambiri ndi chimodzi mwazizindikiro zakutaya mtima, makamaka ngati: 

• Simungapeze chinthu chimodzi chabwino chonena za aliyense kapena chilichonse
• Mukukhulupirira kuti dziko ndi lamdima ndipo aliyense amakuchitirani chiwembu nthawi zonse
• Simumazengereza kugawana nkhani yanu yowawa mpaka kumapeto kowawa, mokweza, mwayi uliwonse womwe mungapeze 

2. Umangobwerezabwereza

Nkhani iliyonse yomwe mumakhala nayo imazungulira mozungulira ndipo imabwereranso ku chinthu chomwecho. Simuyesa kusuntha, kukhululukira ndi kuiwala , kukonza zinthu, kapena kulandira thandizo. Kodi zimenezo zimveka bwino? Ndiye dziwani kuti zikusonyeza kutaya mtima.

Tsopano, tangoganizani kuti payipi yaphulika, ndipo madzi akutuluka, onse akuda ndi akuda ndi amphamvu. Izi ndi zomwe ma tirades anu amamverera ngati omwe akulandira, kaya ndi anzanu apamtima, abwenzi, okondedwa, kapena achibale. Palibe chilichonse chathanzi kapena chopindulitsa pa iwo - ndi inu kupitiriza, kutopetsa aliyense.

3. Mumavutika kulamulira maganizo anu ndi mawu anu

Pamene malingaliro okwiya kapena oipidwawo akuwulukira pamwamba: 

• Mumavutika kuti mutseke chivundikiro pa iwo 
• Simungapeze njira yolankhulirana modekha maganizo anu 
• Simungathe kubwerera m'mbuyo ndi kuganizira zomwe mukufuna kunena 
• Simungathe kusankha ngati chinachake chiyenera kunenedwa nkomwe

Ngati zoyesayesa zanu zotulutsa nthawi zonse zimatha ndikutsegula zitseko zamalingaliro ndikulola kuti malingaliro anu ayende pakamwa panu, tengani izi ngati chizindikiro cha kutaya mtima.

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4. Mumapeza cholakwa, koma osati pa inu nokha 

Kaya ndi kutha kwa ubale wovuta kapena nkhani yodalirana kapena tsiku lovuta kuntchito, mukudziwa bwino lomwe komwe kuli mlandu. Ndipo sizili ndi inu.

5. Muli ndi matenda a 'poor me'

Anthu otengeka maganizo amakhala ngati alakwiridwa muzochitika zilizonse zomwe sizikuyenda momwe angathere. Samatenga udindo wawo ndipo m'malo mwake amafuula kuti: "Wosauka ine, osauka ine. Mawu ngati awa ndi zitsanzo zapamwamba za kutaya mtima.

6. Simukufuna yankho

Simukufuna kuti omvera apereke ndemanga kapena kuthandiza kuthetsa mkangano waubwenzi . Mukungofuna kuuza ena mavuto anu, osayang'aniridwa, kulikonse komwe kuli khutu lofunitsitsa (kapena losafuna!).

7. Simukumva bwino mukangotulutsa mpweya

Kutulutsa mawu abwino kungakhale kosangalatsa komanso kopatsa mpumulo weniweni, makamaka ngati tikuganiza kuti talandira mgwirizano wamaganizo womwe tikufuna kapena kutsimikiziridwa ndi womvera. Malinga ndi kafukufuku , kutulutsa mawu kumathandiza ngati womvera watithandiza kubwerezabwereza ndikupeza tanthauzo, m'malo mongobwerezabwereza, zomwe takumana nazo. Koma bwanji ngati kutulutsa mawu ndi kugawana malingaliro anu kukupangitsani kumva chisoni kwambiri, monga momwe kafukufukuyu akunenera ? Ngati nthawi yanu yotulutsa mawu ikukupatsani malingaliro oipa, ndiye kuti zingatanthauze kutaya mtima.

Apa ndi bwino kukumbukira izi pokhudzana ndi kutaya maganizo ndi kugawana maganizo: Kugawana maganizo ndi njira ziwiri ndipo kumathandiza anthu kuti azikhala ogwirizana pambuyo pa zochitika zamaganizo. Kutaya ndi kukambirana kwa mbali imodzi komwe kumapangitsa womvera kukhala ngati wotaya mtima. Palibe dumper kapena womvetsera amatuluka mmenemo akumva bwino kapena kuyandikira kwambiri.

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Njira 7 Zokhazikitsa Malire Otsutsana ndi Kutaya Mtima

Kutaya zinthu m'maganizo kumathandiza munthu amene wataya zinthu m'maganizo mwake kuti apitirize ndi makhalidwe ake oipa komanso kugonjera ku malingaliro odzikonda. Mwa kupanga chilichonse chokhudza iye ndi kugawana zinthu mopitirira muyeso mpaka kufika popangitsa kuti omvera ake asamagwirizane, amalepheranso kulumikizana ndi maganizo komwe akufuna. Pakadali pano, womverayo amasiyidwa akuvutika ndi nkhawa za wina, zomwe zimangomupangitsa kumva kutopa kapena kutayika m'maganizo.

Ngati mwatsala pang'ono kutaya, ndibwino kuti mudziwitse munthu wina momwe zikukupangitsani kumva ndikulemba malire abwino kuti muteteze thanzi lanu lamaganizo ndi maganizo anu. Nawa maupangiri amomwe mungayankhire pakutaya mtima, momwe mungalekerere kutaya mtima, ndikuyika malire:

1. Dziwani ndi kunena malire anu

Ndiye munganene chiyani pamene wina akutaya mtima ndipo mulibe bandwidth kuti muwamvere? Bwanji ngati muwona kuti nkhawa zawo zosalekeza zikutaya kapena kupsinjika akukutaya mopambanitsa? Yesetsani kudzidziwitsa nokha. Yang'anani zomwe zili pazokambirana zawo zomwe zimakhala zolemetsa, zosasangalatsa, kapena zowopsa. Devaleena anati: "Kuzindikira kwanu zomwe zikukudetsani nkhawa ndi zomwe mungathe kuchitapo kanthu."

Pamene kukwiya kwawo kumayamba, vomerezani malingaliro awo, ndiye yesani kunena kuti: 

• Ndikumvetsa kuti mwakhumudwa/mukulimbana. Koma panopa ndilibe mphamvu yolankhula za nkhaniyi 
• Sindingathe kupitiriza kutengera malingaliro anu monga chonchi chifukwa zimandipangitsa kumva_. Ndipo izi zikusokoneza mtendere wanga wamalingaliro ndi thanzi
• Ndikupeza kuti zokambiranazi sizindisangalatsa kuti ndipitirize. Kodi tingakambirane china chake chonde?

2. Osachita manyazi kunena kuti 'ayi' 

Tonsefe timafuna kukhalapo kwa okondedwa athu ndikupanga malo otetezeka kuti afotokoze zakukhosi kwawo. Koma izi siziyenera kutiwonongera moyo wathu wamalingaliro. Ndiye mukakhala nazo zokwanira, nenani. Khalani otsimikiza ndikuchita kukhazikitsa malire amalingaliro ndikulankhulana momveka bwino. 'Ayi' molunjika ku gawo lotulutsa mpweya ndiye nsonga yathu yabwino kwambiri yamomwe tingaletsere kutaya mtima m'mayendedwe ake.

3. Khazikitsani nthawi pazokambirana zakukhosi

Lingaliro lina labwino la momwe mungayankhire pakutaya mtima kapena kuyika malire otaya mtima ndi anthu ovuta ndikuyika malire anthawi pazokambirana zotere:

• Auzeni patsogolo kuti ndinu okonzeka kuwamva ndipo kulankhulana momasuka, koma kwa nthaŵi yoikidwiratu yokha, ndiyeno mudzafunikira kusamalira zinthu zina 
• Khalani ndi malire ndikuthetsa kukambirana mwaulemu, koma molimba. Ngati akufunabe kuyankhula zambiri, konzekerani nthawi ina

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mumakhazikitsa Bwanji Malire a Maganizo Mu Ubale?

4. Siyani kukambirana 

Ngati simukufuna kukhala ndi nthawi yolankhula mwachidwi, funsani ngati mungathe kukambirana tsiku lina pamene mudzakhala okonzeka kumvetsera. 

5. Alimbikitseni kupeza chithandizo kuchokera kumadera ena

Ngati mukuona kuti akuvutika kwambiri kuthana ndi vuto la maganizo kapena kusiya zakale, mulimbikitseni kuti akapeze thandizo la akatswiri. Gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito za Bonobology lingakhale lokondwa kupereka chitsogozo kapena thandizo.

6. Koma musakhale sing'anga wawo

Khalani womvetsera mwachangu mwa njira zonse. Koma dziwani kusiyana pakati pa kumvetsera ndi kukonza ndikuyesera kuti, muzochitika zilizonse, mukhale wothandizira nokha. Mwina ali ndi ntchito yambiri yoti achite pazinthu zawozawo komanso pakuwongolera malingaliro. Ndipo simufunika kupanikizika kwambiri kapena kusokoneza thanzi lanu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo Ochitira Zinthu Mogwirizana ndi Maganizo Kuti Musinthe Ubale Wanu

7. Dziwani kuti mungafunike kuwamasula

Devaleena anati: “Nthawi zina, timafunika kuzindikira kuti ubwenzi siwofunika kwambiri moti n’kumadziiwala tokha pamene tikusunga winayo. Ubale wofunikira kwambiri womwe mungakhale nawo ndi womwe mumakhala nawo. Chifukwa chake ngati kukhazikitsa malire amalingaliro sikuthandiza, dziwani kuti palibe cholakwika ndi: 

• Kubwerera mmbuyo kuchoka ku maubwenzi osokoneza maganizo 
• Kutenga kutha kwa ubale 
• Kuthetsa zomwe mumaganiza kuti ndiubwenzi wofunikira kuti muteteze malingaliro anu kapena malingaliro anu

Kutaya mtima m'maubwenzi kungayambitse mkwiyo, mkwiyo, ndipo pamapeto pake kumapangitsa womvera kusiya kapena kuchoka muubwenzi. Zoonadi, tonsefe timafunikira phewa lolirirapo ndi winawake woti atimvere nthaŵi zina. Koma palibe ubale umene ungakhalepo ngati kugawana maganizo kuli kumbali imodzi ndipo kumalanda omvera nthawi ndi mphamvu zawo.  

Nkhaniyi idasinthidwa mu Ogasiti 2023.

Ibibazo

Kuyankha Mumaubwenzi - Tanthauzo, Kufunika, Ndi Njira Zowonetsera

Malangizo 11 Akatswiri Oti Musiye Kukhala Oopsa Paubwenzi

Pamene Muyenera Kuchoka Paubwenzi: Zizindikiro 11 Kuti Ndi Nthawi

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.