Ukwati Wokhala Naye Pamodzi - Zizindikiro Ndi Momwe Mungakonzere

Sikuti mabanja onse amakhala osangalala komanso opindulitsa. Ena amakumana ndi zovuta zambiri zomwe okwatirana amataya chiyembekezo. Amasintha ndi kukhazikika popanda kuyesa kutsitsimutsanso moyo wawo waukwati. Ukwati wokhala m'chipinda chimodzi umatchedwanso "roommate syndrome." Ndi dongosolo losalunjika pakati pa anthu okwatirana kumene chikondi, ubwenzi, ndi chikondi chazimiririka. Ndi mkhalidwe umene mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amaona ngati okhalira limodzi m’banja. Mabanja ambiri amadutsa mu izi. Amakhala pansi pa denga limodzi ndipo amagawana ntchito zapakhomo koma opanda chikondi chachikhalidwe kapena kugonana.

Kuti tidziwe zambiri zokhudza mwamuna ndi mkazi amene amakhala ngati anthu okhala m’chipinda chimodzi, tinafikira Ridhi Golechha (MA Psychology), yemwe ndi katswiri wopereka uphungu wamaukwati opanda chikondi, kulekana, ndi nkhani zina zaubwenzi. Iye anati: “Nthawi yaukwati ya anthu okhala m’chipinda chimodzi ndi pamene onse aŵiri amakhala omasuka kwambiri pamene wina ali ndi mnzake ndi kuyamba kuona ukwati wawo mopepuka.” Ndi imodzi mwa mavuto a m’banja pamene chilakolako, chisangalalo, ndi chisangalalo zimatayidwa kunja kwa zenera.

Kodi Gawo Laukwati Lokhala Pamodzi Ndi Chiyani? 

Mukakhala paukwati waukwati, simumaganiza kuti chikondi chanu chidzachepa. Ndiye, bambo! Mwadzidzidzi, inu ndi mnzanuyo mukukhala moyo wosiyana pansi pa denga limodzi. Simukuzindikira nthawi yomwe gawoli likuyamba, koma ngati simusamala msanga, mudzataya wokondedwa wanu m'malingaliro, mwakuthupi, komanso mwanzeru. M'mawu osavuta, chikondi chidzafa, ndipo mudzayamba kukhalira limodzi ngati mabwenzi a platonic. 

Ubwenzi muukwati ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zokongola kwambiri. Anzanu angaganize kuti ndinu zolinga zaubwenzi. Komabe, zimakhala zodetsa nkhawa ngati palibe chikondi, kulankhulana kochokera pansi pa mtima, kapena mphamvu zogonana pakati pa okwatirana. Mumakhala ngati anthu okhala m'nyumba imodzi kapena okhala m'chipinda chimodzi kuposa okwatirana. Simudzaonanso mnzanuyo ngati wapadera.

Zizindikiro 8 za Ukwati Wokhala Naye Pamodzi 

Kuona ngati nonse muli okwatirana okhala m’chipinda chimodzi ndi vuto lalikulu. Nazi zina mwazizindikiro kuti inu ndi bwenzi lanu simunayang'ane pa ubale wanu ndipo muli ndi vuto lalikulu m'banja:

1. Simumagonananso

Malinga ndi Newsweek , 15 mpaka 20% ya okwatirana ali m'mabanja opanda kugonana. Ngati inu ndi mnzanu ndinu m'modzi mwa okwatirana amenewo, ndiye kuti pali mwayi woti mukuyamba kukhala ndi vuto la kugona ndi munthu m'modzi. Ridhi akutero, "Kodi nthawi yomaliza yomwe inu ndi mnzanu munakondana ndi liti? Ukwati udzalephera ngati palibe m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo amene ayambitsa chibwenzi ."

Kugonana ndi kwabwino paukwati. Chiyanjanocho chimakhala cholimba ngati mumakhala pachibwenzi ndi mnzanu nthawi zonse. Ngakhale kafukufuku akugwirizana ndi mfundo imeneyi. Okwatirana omwe amachita zogonana nthawi zonse amakhala ndi chisangalalo chachikulu m'banja kuposa omwe sachita zogonana kawirikawiri.

2. Banja lanu lasanduka cholemetsa

Kodi izi zikufotokoza za ukwati wanu?

• Dzukani
• Pangani chakudya cham'mawa
• Siyani ana anu kusukulu
• Bwererani kunyumba
• Khalani miyoyo yosiyana
• Khalani ndi moyo wosiyanasiyana
• Nthawi zonse mumakhala otanganidwa
• Idyani pamodzi mwina
• Kukhudza maziko pang'ono
• Inu mumasamalana wina ndi mzake, koma palibe kufotokoza kwa izo
• Mumakonzekera mayendedwe a tsiku lotsatira kapena sabata ikubwera
• Palibe kukhudza kwapamtima
• Gonani

Ngati ichi ndi chizoloŵezi chanu, ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za banja la mnzanu. Ngakhale nonse mukakhala ndi wina ndi mnzake, mudzakhala pafoni yanu kusewera masewera apakanema kapena kusakatula malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. 

Ukwati suyenera kuoneka ngati mtolo. Siyeneranso kuoneka ngati ntchito yopanda nzeru, monga kutsuka mbale kapena kutsuka zovala. Ndibwino kuti mukhale ndi mnzanu chifukwa pali ubale wapadera ndi iwo. Mumakhala osangalala pamaso pawo ndipo mukuyembekezera kukhala nawo nthawi. Pamene okwatirana akupeza kuti ali muukwati wosasangalala , chimenecho ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za maukwati a platonic omwe mumakhala nawo m'chipinda chimodzi.

3. Mikangano imaseseredwa pansi pa chiguduli

Kumenyana m’banja n’kwachibadwa. Mumakhala ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi malingaliro ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana. Mikangano ndi kusamvana zikuyenera kuchitika. Komabe, anthu aŵiri okwatirana akanyalanyaza kusamvana kumeneku chifukwa chakuti safuna kupanga ubwenzi wamtundu uliwonse ndi mnzawo, zimasonyeza kuti ukwati wawo ulibe kanthu kwa aliyense wa iwo.

Kafukufuku wapeza kuti mikangano ndi yofunika komanso yofunika kwambiri pakukula kwa ukwati. Imathandiza maanja kuphunzira kuchokera kwa wina ndi mnzake ndikukonza ubale wawo. Mukapanda kumenyana kuti mupulumutse ubale wanu, inu ndi mnzanu mumachita ngati muli paubwenzi umodzi kuti mupewe kulankhulana ndikuthetsa mavuto. Ichi ndi chizindikiro choopsa komanso chomvetsa chisoni chakuti ukwati wanu ukhoza kutha.

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4. Palibe ubwenzi wapamtima 

Ridhi anati: “Ngati ubwenzi wakuthupi uli msana wa ukwati uliwonse, ndiye kuti kugwirizana kwa maganizo n’kumene kumagwirizanitsa kwambiri.

Ngati simukugwirizana kwambiri ndi mnzanu monga momwe munalili poyamba, zingayambitse kusiyana. Ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomwe mukukhala limodzi, ndipo ndinu anthu ongokhala m'chipinda chimodzi osati okwatirana. Mungafunenso kufunafuna ubwenzi umenewu kuchokera kwa wina. Izi zingayambitsenso kusakhulupirika m'maganizo, mwakuthupi, komanso pazachuma . Mutha kuwononga chidaliro cha mnzanu kapena mosemphanitsa. N'zosatheka kubwezeretsa ukwati womwe wakhala wozunzidwa.

5. Simugwiritsanso ntchito zilankhulo zachikondi za wina ndi mnzake 

Pali mitundu isanu ya zilankhulo zachikondi:

• Mawu otsimikizira 
• Ntchito za utumiki 
• Kupatsana mphatso
• Nthawi yabwino 
• Kukhudza thupi

Zonsezi ndizofunikira m'banja chifukwa zimathandiza okwatirana kumvetsetsa ndikulankhulana zosowa zawo zamaganizo ndi zokhumba zawo m'njira yothandiza komanso yothandiza. Zimathandiza kupewa kusamvana ndi mikangano m'banja mwa kuthandiza okwatirana kulumikizana mozama. Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mwasiya kupita ku madeti usiku ndipo simukuyamikana ndi kuyamikana kokoma ndi mphatso, mumakhala ngati anthu okhala m'chipinda chimodzi kuposa okwatirana. Chisangalalo chatuluka m'banja mwanu.

6. Nthawi zambiri mumatafuna mkwiyo 

Ngati nthawi zambiri mumakwiyira mnzanuyo koma mumakana kutulutsa, ndi chizindikiro chakuti mukumva ngati palibe chifukwa chofotokozera nkhawa zanu ndi nkhawa zanu. Watopa ndipo wayamba kuganiza kuti ndi zachilendo muubwenzi kuti chikondi chimazimiririka pakapita nthawi. Si zachilendo - Chikondi chimatha kusintha mawonekedwe, koma sichiyenera kufa. 

Mukameza mkwiyo wanu kwambiri, umakhala woopsa kwambiri paubwenzi wanu. Ridhi akunena kuti, “Mumakwiya ndi mnzanu chifukwa cha momwe amakupwetekerani. Mumafuna kuwafuulira ndi kuwafuulira. Koma mukudziwa momwe mungaletsere mkwiyo muubwenzi. Chifukwa chake, mumatha kukwiya chifukwa simukufuna kuthetsa mavuto. Mumakonda kukhala nawo ndi mkwiyo ndi udani kusiyana ndi kukhala pansi nthawi yanu yopuma ndikukambirana mofatsa zomwe zikukuvutitsani.”

7. Simulinso patsogolo pa wina ndi mnzake

Mukakhala pabanja koma mukugona m'chipinda chimodzi, simudzasamala kwambiri zosowa za wina ndi mnzake zakuthupi ndi zamaganizo. Sizidzakhala zofunika kwambiri kwa inu. Inu ndi mnzanuyo mungakonde kukhala usiku wonse mukucheza ndi anzanu kusiyana ndi kupita kukadya chakudya chamadzulo ndikukhala ndi nthawi yabwino limodzi.

Zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti inu ndi wokondedwa wanu simuli patsogolo pa wina ndi mzake ndi izi:

• Mumapanga zisankho osadziwitsana 
• Mumathera nthawi yochuluka kuntchito kapena kusamalira ana kapena anzanu
• Nonse simusamala kukhumudwitsana
• Simumathetsa kusiyana kwanu 

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8. Mumakonda munthu wina 

Ichi ndi chizindikiro chowopsa kwa maanja ambiri kuti ukwati wawo uli pachiwopsezo. Simupezanso mkazi wanu wokongola komanso mumakopeka ndi munthu wina. Mwazindikira kuti kulumikizana kwanu kukuzirala koma simukuchitapo kanthu chifukwa mwawakonda ndipo mukufuna kuyambitsa china chatsopano ndi kuphwanya kwanu. 

Ridhi akunena kuti, “Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zazikulu za ukwati wa munthu wokhala naye m’chipinda chimodzi ndi pamene mukukondana ndi munthu wina ndipo mukufuna kuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi malingaliro anu. Kukondana kumachitika ngakhale mutakhala pabanja losangalala. Nkhani yonse ili m’manja mwanu. Kodi mudzanyalanyaza izi, kukambirana za izi m’njira yabwino (kapena yosangalatsa) ndi mnzanu wapamtima, kapena mukufuna kuvulaza mnzanu wapamtima mwachinyengo ? Chitani zinthu mwanzeru. Ngati mukuona kuti pali chinachake chomwe chikusowa mu ukwati wanu, konzani nthawi yomweyo m’malo molola kuti nkhaniyo ivunde.”

Kodi Mungakonze Bwanji Gawo Lanu la Ukwati? 

Pamene mukukhala ngati anthu okwatirana, zingakhale zovuta kudzimva bwino. Mumaona kuti simukukondedwa komanso simukuyamikiridwa. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo muyesetse kukonza vutoli pogwiritsa ntchito njira zotsatirazi:

1. Pezani nthawi yolankhula ndi okondedwa wanu 

Ridhi anati, “Ichi ndi chinthu choyamba chomwe muyenera kuchita mukaona kuti pali chosowa muukwati wanu kapena ngati mukumva ngati muli muukwati wosweka . Kambiranani. Musamangoyang'ana nthawi yopuma. 'Pangani' nthawi, kuti inu ndi wokondedwa wanu mukambirane ndikupeza komwe zinthu zikulakwika komanso momwe mungayambitsirenso ukwatiwo.”

2. Kwa nthawi ndithu, muziona kuti banja lanu ndi lofunika kwambiri kuposa zinthu zina

Anzanu angadikire kwakanthawi mpaka mutapeza njira yokhazikitsira mabwenzi anu ndi ubale wanu. Masewera anu apakanema akhoza kudikirira. Simungalole kuti ukwati wanu ukhalebe wosasunthika kapena kudzilola kuti muwononge ubwenzi wanu. Sinthani zinthu zofunika kwambiri nthawi yomweyo. Osabweretsa ntchito kunyumba. Osagwiritsa ntchito ana ngati chowiringula chopewa kucheza ndi mnzanu. Chilichonse chikhoza kuimitsidwa chifukwa cha munthu amene munagwa naye ndi kumukwatira. Lumikizanani ndi wokondedwa wanu mokhudzidwa ndikuwona momwe zinthu zikuyendera. 

3. Kongoletsani zinthu kuchipinda 

Kafukufuku wapeza kuti khalidwe logonana ndi njira yofunika kwambiri yolankhulirana ndi kuyanjana. Kugonana nthawi zonse kungathandize kuti okwatirana azigwirizana kwambiri. Yesetsani kuyesa pabedi. Nazi njira zina zomwe mungafotokozerenso chikondi chakuthupi:

• Yesani malo atsopano pabedi
• Gwiritsani ntchito zoseweretsa ndi zina
• Muululirane zakugonana kwanu
• Osadumpha mwachindunji kuchitapo kanthu. Yesani kukhazikitsa mayendedwe pogwirana wina ndi mzake ndikutalikitsa zowonera
• Perekani ndemanga zabwino kwa wina ndi mzake: "Ndimakonda mukamachita izi"
• Lembani malire anu ndikulemba awo
• Yamikirani thupi la wina ndi mnzake poyera

4. Khalani wokhazikika 

Mukamacheza kwambiri ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, pamakhala mwayi woti mungayambe kuganizirana momasuka. Tinthu ting’onoting’ono timene munkachita kudabwa wina ndi mnzake, zafika poipa. Muli ndi nthawi yowonjezeretsa chisangalalo ndi mphamvu muukwati wanu mwa kukhazikitsanso mgwirizano wanu pochita zinthu zomwe zimangochitika zokha monga izi:

• Konzani ulendo wodzidzimutsa 
• Yesani china chatsopano. Mwachitsanzo, zakudya zatsopano kapena masewera atsopano awiri 
• Chokani pazochitika zanu zapakhomo ndikugwedezani zinthu pang'ono
• Yambani kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kapena kusinkhasinkha limodzi 
• Valani ndi kupitiriza masiku a tsiku 
• Itanani odwala kuntchito pamene mukugona tsiku lonse pabedi ndikuwona ziwonetsero zomwe mumakonda

5. Yesani 5 Monga

Zina zisanu ndi izi:

• Kulandiridwa
• Kuyamikira
• akazindikire
• chisamaliro
• Kulola  

Landirani mnzanu monga momwe alili, yamikirani makhalidwe ake abwino, zindikirani chilichonse chimene amakuchitirani, perekani chidwi chanu chonse , ndipo muloleni kuti akhale momwe alili. Musamukakamize kusintha makhalidwe ake, chifukwa chimenecho ndi khalidwe lolamulira.

Ridhi anawonjezera kuti: “Mukasonyeza kuyamikira, zimasangalatsa mtima wa wokondedwa wanu, zimam’pangitsa kukukondani kwambiri. 

6. Dziwani zilankhulo zachikondi za wokondedwa wanu 

Kupeza chinenero cha chikondi cha mnzanuyo kudzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa zomwe akuyembekezera kuchokera kwa inu. Ngati amakonda zakudya zopangira kunyumba ndipo chilankhulo chawo chachikondi ndi 'ntchito zantchito,' ndiye kuti mumawaphikira kamodzi pakanthawi. Ngati amakonda kudabwa ndi mphatso, ndiye kuti kupereka mphatso ndiyo njira yofikira pamtima. 

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Mmene Mungakhalire Osangalala Muukwati Wokhala Naye Pamodzi 

Kusudzulana kwa anthu okhala m'chipinda chimodzi ndi nkhani yeniyeni. Munthu wina wogwiritsa ntchito Quora akugawana zomwe adakumana nazo, "Pomaliza pake tinasudzulana. Zonse zinali zamtendere kwambiri. Ndinapereka nthawi - nthawi yokwanira. Ndinalankhula momveka bwino za mavutowo, ndipo ndinali woganiza bwino pa zomwe ndimafuna kuchokera kwa mwamuna wanga wakale. Komabe, pamapeto pake zinaonekeratu kuti sakanandipatsa zomwe ndimafuna kuti ukwatiwo ugwire ntchito."

Ngati simukufuna kusudzulana ndi mnzanu, yesani kukhala osangalala m'modzi ndikuwonjezera chikondi pogwiritsa ntchito njira izi: 

• Onetsani kuyamikira: Ngati mukumva ngati anthu okhala nawo m’banja, yesetsani kusonyeza kuyamikira tsiku lililonse pa zinthu zazing’ono. Zimawapangitsa kuti azikukhulupirirani kwambiri
• Yambitsani chizolowezi chodziwika limodzi: "Khalani ndi zinthu zomwe mumakonda, mukhoza kuyesa kujambula pamodzi." Mukhozanso kuwerenga buku ndi kukambirana za izo monga njira yolumikizira umboni wanu. kusowa kuyankhulana,” akutero Ridhi
• Khalani opezekapo: Pamene akulankhula nanu, mvetserani bwino. Kumbukirani zing'onozing'ono zomwe adagawana nanu tsiku lapitalo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati anakuuzani nkhawa za ntchito, afunseni tsiku lotsatira ngati vutolo lakonzedwa. Asonyezeni kuti mumayamikira kwambiri ubwino wawo 
• Sangalalani ndi bwenzi lanu: Ridhi anati, “Kukumbatirana kumatulutsa oxytocin. Ndi timadzi tachikondi tomwe tingathandize kuthetsa vuto losowa m’banja mwanu” 
• Ikani patsogolo kudzisamalira: Kudzisamalira n’kofunika kwambiri kuti mukhalebe osangalala m’banja lanu. Pezani nthawi yochita zinthu zomwe mumakonda. Tengani nthawi nokha ngati ndizomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala oganiza bwino
• Pezani thandizo la akatswiri: Ngati mukuvutika kuti mukhalebe osangalala m'banja lanu la platonic, musawope kuyesa uphungu waukwati. Ngati mukufuna thandizo la akatswiri, gulu la alangizi odziwa zambiri la Bonobology ndi a dinani kutali

Anthu okwatirana ayenera kuvomereza kaye vutolo ngati akufuna kulithetsa. Pitani matsiku ndi kukambirana za nkhaniyi yekha. Lumikizananinso wina ndi mnzake m'malingaliro ndipo zosinthika zokhala ngati mnzawo zitha posachedwa. 

Ibibazo

Njira 9 Zothana Ndi Mwamuna Wanu Osakufunani - Zinthu 5 Zomwe Mungachite Pa Izi

15 Malire Ovuta M'maukwati Akatswiri Amalumbirira

21 Zinthu Zokulitsa Ulemu Mu Ubale

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.