Ukwati ndi kudzipereka kwakukulu. Kukhala ndi munthu m'modzi kwa moyo wanu wonse ndi nkhani yaikulu ndipo si ntchito yophweka. Ukwati ukhoza kukhala zochitika zopweteka kwambiri komanso zaulemerero m'moyo, koma ndi ubale womwe umayenera kupirira mikuntho yayikulu kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti pali mavuto ambiri, pali nkhani zambiri zolimbikitsa za maukwati amene anapulumuka ndipo anakhala amphamvu kwambiri pambuyo pa mkuntho.
Akuti maukwati amapangidwa kumwamba koma zoona zake n’zakuti ayenera kudzakhala padziko lapansi. Okwatirana onse amadutsa mu magawo ena - ndewu zing'onozing'ono, ndewu zazikulu, zachikondi mpaka kufika pachimake chifukwa chosowa ubwenzi. Ngakhale kuti ena amathetsa mkuntho mosavuta, ena amakumana ndi mavuto osiyanasiyana amene amaika mabanja awo pachiyeso.
Kodi ukwati ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri kuthana nacho? Zingakhale bwino chifukwa ukwati uli pafupi ndi anthu awiri osiyana kotheratu omwe amasonkhana pamodzi kuti azitha kukhalira limodzi atakula. Ndi kumvana wina ndi mzake ndikukumana ndi mayesero ndi masautso a moyo pamodzi.
Ngati tikuyang'ana anthu otchuka kuti atilimbikitse, wokonda nyenyezi waku Hollywood Tom Hanks ndi mkazi wake Rita Wilson ubale ndi nkhani yolimbikitsa yaukwati. Atakumana mu 1984, Hanks anali wokwatira panthawiyo, koma chemistry yawo inali yosatsutsika. Zaka 37 pambuyo pake, ukwati wawo udapulumuka mayesero aku Hollywood ndipo adalimbana ndi zovuta zomwe zimabwera ndi ubale wanthawi yayitali womwe umakhala wowonekera nthawi zonse. Banja lawo ndi losakanikirana lomwe a Hanks ali ndi ana awiri kuchokera m'banja lake loyamba, ndipo amapangitsa kuti izi zitheke. Ngati mwasokonezeka momwe mungapulumuke m'banja, ili ndi banja lomwe mungayang'aneko kuti likulimbikitseni.
Koma mwina otchuka salimbikitsa chidaliro. Mwina mukufuna malangizo amomwe mungapulumukire m'banja kuchokera kwa anthu wamba omwe adakumana ndi zovuta m'banja, koma adatuluka modabwitsa. Takumvani! Nazi nkhani zolimbikitsa za maukwati omwe adapulumuka, kuti okwatirana adziwe ndikudalira kuti pamapeto pake pali kuwala.
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Nkhani Zolimbikitsa Za Maukwati Amene Anapulumuka
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Akuti nthawi ya ukwati ikatha , ukwati weniweni umayamba. Simudziwa nthawi yomwe ukwati ungakupangitseni kukhala ndi mavuto, koma momwe mumachitira ndi vutoli komanso momwe mumakhalira olimba zimanena zambiri za momwe ukwati wanu ulili wopambana. Tikukupatsani nkhani 7 za maukwati omwe adapulumuka pamene anali ovuta.
1. “Pamene tinataya mwana wathu”
"Tinataya mwana wathu. Anali ndi zaka ziwiri ndi theka. Zinali ngati zopweteka m'mitima yathu ndipo mkazi wanga anavutika kwambiri. Anayamba kumwa mowa ndipo palibe tsiku lomwe analedzeretsa. Imfa inandikhudza kwambiri koma ndinayenera kukhala wolimba mtima kwa mkazi wanga. Tinkakangana kwambiri. Nthawi zambiri ndinkakwiyira mkazi wanga chifukwa sanali kuyesera kupirira imfa.
Mayi anga anali odwala okha omwe anali nawo. Anamudyetsa ndi kumuthandiza. Panali nthawi ina patapita zaka ziwiri kuchokera pamene ndinafuna kuti ndisudzulane koma sindinathe. Mkazi wanga atayesa kudula manja ake m’pamene ndinazindikira kuti ndimamukonda kwambiri ndiponso kuti ndinali wodzikonda. Kudzipha kumene kunandipangitsa kuti ndizimusamalira, kunandilimbitsa mtima.
Tinapita kukalandira chithandizo kwa chaka chimodzi asanaphunzire kupirira ndipo anasiya kumwa kwambiri. Patha zaka 5 tsopano. Iye ndi woledzeretsa. Tili ndi mwana wamwamuna wathanzi ndipo sitinayambenso kukondana.”
2. “Pamene adali pachibwenzi”
"Anakhala pachibwenzi ndi wophunzira wake kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi. Sindinadziwe za izo. Pambuyo pake anabwera kwa ine ndikuvomereza. Tinali ndi nthawi yomwe sitinkayang'anana wina ndi mzake. Koma zinthu zinakhala bwino. Kusakhulupirika kungapangitse kapena kusokoneza maukwati; kwa ife, kunapangitsa kuti banja lathu likhale labwino.
Tinayesetsa kuti tipitirize ndipo adandiwonetsa kuti akhoza kudaliridwanso. Wasunga mawu ake kuyambira tsiku limenelo ndipo ndine wokondwa kuti sindinapake katundu ndikupita chifukwa cha kulakwitsa kumodzi komwe adapanga. Ndinazindikira kuti n’kosavuta kusunga chakukhosi ndi kulimba mtima kukhululuka. Koma ngati chomangira cha ukwati wanu chili cholimba, chikhoza kupulumuka mavuto onse. ”
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3. “Pamene anachotsedwa ntchito”
"Panali nthawi yomwe kampani yomwe mwamuna wanga ankagwira ntchito inagwa. Kusowa ntchito kunamupangitsa kukhala wamisala. Apongozi anga ndi makolo anga sanali kundithandiza konse zomwe zinamupangitsa kukhala wamisala kwambiri. Ndalama zochepa zomwe ndinkapeza, ankazigwiritsa ntchito pazinthu zopanda pake ndipo sankagwira ntchito zapakhomo kapena za mwana wathu. Kusowa ntchito sikunamuthandize kudzidalira ndipo anayamba kudzikonda tsiku ndi tsiku. Mavuto a ukwati ndi ndalama anali pa ife."
Tinakhala miyezi yambiri tikukhala pansi pa denga limodzi ndipo tinkangolankhula kokha ngati pakufunika kutero. Anali wopsinjika maganizo koma anakana kupempha thandizo, akumandivutitsa nthaŵi zonse pamene ndinayesa kulankhula naye za kupeza chithandizo. Atapeza ntchito yatsopano m’pamene anayamba kupeza bwino. Mwezi woyamba wa ntchitoyo, samabwera kunyumba kawirikawiri ndipo ndimaganiza kuti izi ndi zathu. Mwezi womwe adalandira malipiro oyamba adabwera kunyumba ndikundipatsa ndalama.
Anavomera kupita kwa sing’anga ndipo patapita miyezi ingapo anabwereranso mmene analili wakale. Ndikaganizira za masiku amenewo tsopano, ndimakhalabe ndi vuto. Mwamuna wanga ndi wamphamvu koma ulova ukhoza kugwetsa banja lonse. Tsopano wina akandifunsa mmene ndingapulumukire m’banja lamavuto, ndimawauza kuti kuleza mtima ndiko kofunika kwambiri. Khalani ndi chikhulupiriro chakuti zinthu zikhala bwino m’kupita kwa nthaŵi.”
4. “Mkazi wanga atapezeka ndi khansa”
“Mkazi wanga anapezeka ndi khansa zaka zingapo zapitazo.Panali vuto lalikulu lazachuma koma tinakwanitsa.
Ndikuganiza kuti kulandira chithandizo cha khansa inali nthawi yovuta kwambiri m'banja lathu, m'malingaliro komanso m'zachuma. Zinali ngati nkhondo imene tinkamenyana tsiku lililonse ndipo tinatuluka mwachipambano. Ndikumva kuti ukwati womwe umapulumuka khansa ukhoza kupulumuka chilichonse. Pambuyo pa chochitika chowopsa kwambiri chimenechi, tsopano taphunzira mmene tingapulumukire m’banja. ”
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5. “Pamene tinayenera kupirira ukwati wakutali”
"Mkazi wanga anayenera kupita kukagwira ntchito yophunzitsa ku Oman kwa zaka zitatu. Ndinayenera kukhala ndekha ndi ana. Sitinkadziwa kuti mtunda udzakhala wovuta chonchi. Tinkakumana nthawi ya tchuthi yokha ndipo sizinali zophweka. Sindinkadziwa kuti mavuto a ubale wautali angakhale ovuta chonchi. "
Kumbali ina, ndinasoŵa kukhalapo kwake mwakuthupi ndi chichirikizo chamalingaliro ndipo mbali ina, ndinafunikira kusamalira ana ndekha. Nthaŵi zina zinali zotopetsa kwambiri. Zaka zitatu ndi nthawi yayitali. Koma atabwerako, kukumananso kunali chinthu chokoma kwambiri chomwe sindinadziwepo. Ndinali ndisanamveponso chikondi. Imeneyi ndi imodzi mwa nkhani zazikulu kwambiri zaukwati zomwe zinapulumuka chifukwa ndinkaganiza kuti ndinali nditatsala pang’ono kutaya mkazi wanga wokondedwa.”
6. “Kusintha ndi ana a m’banja lake loyamba”
"Mkazi wanga anabereka ana kuyambira muukwati wake woyamba ndipo titakwatirana, zinthu sizinali bwino kwenikweni. Ana aang'ono sanandikonde ngakhale pang'ono. Apongozi anandiyang'ana ngati chilombo. Zinandipangitsa kuganiza kuti ndili ndi vuto lalikulu. Kulimbana ndi apongozi ovuta kunali kungoyambira pa chisanu."
Poganizira mmene aliyense ankandida, mkazi wanga ankayenera kutenga mbali ya banja lake nthawi zina zomwe zinkandichititsa misala.
Sindinkadziwa kuti kuchita zinthu ndi ana opeza kungakhale kovuta chonchi ndipo angakhale ndi chidani chochuluka m’mitima mwawo kaamba ka abambo awo opeza. Nthawi zina ndinkaganiza kuti ndalakwa posankha kulowa m’banja. Mwana wamkulu atapita ku koleji pamene mnyamata wamng'onoyo anayamba kundikonda. Zonse zili bwino tsopano.”
7. “Pamene adakumana ndi zoopsa”
"Ndinagwiriridwa. Nkhondo inali yoipa. Panali nthawi imene mwamuna wanga ankakhumudwa ndi chilichonse ndipo ankandidzudzula. Sanazindikire kuti ndine wozunzidwayo. Anthu monga anansi, achibale komanso abwenzi sanatipangitse kukhala kosavuta. Anatipangitsa misala pofunsa mafunso otifunsa ndipo chilichonse chinkapangitsa kuti ndikhale ndi udindo waukulu pa kugwiriridwa. Ndinayamba kuvutika maganizo ndipo nthawi zina ndinkamva kuti ukwati wathu uli pamavuto ."
Koma sindikudziwa kuti mphamvu zokakamira zidachokera kuti ndipo adamvetsetsa zomwe ndidakumana nazo zinali zowawa komanso wachifundo. Iye ndi munthu wabwino ndipo ndine wokondwa kuti tinadutsa m’nthawi yovuta.”
Tikukhulupirira kuti nkhani za maukwati omwe adapulumuka pazovuta zonse zalimbikitsidwa ndikukulimbikitsani. Ukwati ndi kudzipereka kolimba. Sizingakhale zovuta, koma momwe mumachitira ndi nthawi zovuta zidzakuuzani momwe banja lanu likuyendera. Nkhani zolimbikitsa zimenezi za anthu okwatirana zinatisonyeza kuti ngati wina ali ndi mphamvu ndi mphamvu, tikhoza kupambana pamavuto a m’banja.
Ibibazo
Mwamtheradi. Palibe ukwati kapena ubale umene ungakhale wangwiro nthawi zonse. Mavuto amayenera kuchitika m'moyo mwanu komanso mu ubale wanu.
Inde. Ukwati ndi kudzipereka kwakukulu ndipo kumafunikira nthawi yochuluka, kumvetsetsa ndi kuleza mtima. Padzakhala masiku omwe mudzakhala mukulimbana ndi momwe mungapulumuke m'banja chifukwa zidzawoneka zovuta kwambiri. Komabe, pamapeto pake zidzakhala zoyenera.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Nthawi yanga yoyipa ikupitabe, tinali pachibwenzi koma adandisiya kuti ndikwatire ndi munthu wina. Anakwatirana pambuyo pa miyezi 6 ya chinkhoswe, ndipo patapita miyezi 2-3 iwo analekana tsopano. Tsopano wabwerera akupempha kuti abwerere m'moyo wanga ndipo sindingathe kumulandira mpaka nditachoka kale.
Mnansi wanga anataya zonse pamoto womvetsa chisoni, kuphatikizapo mwana wawo. Tonse tinawona ukwati wawo ukutha. Choncho, mavuto ambiri m’banja ayenera kukumana nawo. Ndizomvetsa chisoni.