Kodi funso lakuti, “Chifukwa chiyani ndili wosakwatiwa?”, limakupatsirani tulo, kukupatsirani kuganiza mopambanitsa yankho m’malo moyesera kutuluka ndikupeza ubwenzi wopindulitsa? Pazifukwa zambiri zomwe mungakhalebe osakwatiwa, tikukutsimikizirani kuti mafuta onunkhira omwe mudavala pa tsiku lanu lomaliza si chimodzi mwa izo.
Mwina nthawi yake sinali bwino, mwina sizinalembedwe mu nyenyezi, kapena mwina munaphonya chizindikirocho ndipo simunawapsompsone, kutsiriza tsikulo ndi kukumbatirana komwe sikunapite kulikonse.
Kukhala wosakwatiwa kuli ndi zabwino zake, koma ngati muli komweko kufunafuna chikondi cha moyo wanu, zitha kuchoka pa "Nditha kuchita chilichonse chomwe ndikufuna!" kuti "Ndimangofuna kuchita chilichonse chimene ndikufuna ndi munthu amene ndimamukonda" mofulumira kwambiri. Chifukwa chiyani simuli mbeta sichiyenera kukhala chinsinsi, komabe. Mothandizidwa ndi mphunzitsi wa chibwenzi Geetarsh Kaur, woyambitsa The Skill School yomwe imagwira ntchito zomanga maubwenzi olimba, tiyeni tiyese kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe mwina simunapeze wina woti musungire chidutswa chomaliza cha pizza.
Zifukwa 11 Zomwe Simunakwatirebe - Dziwani Kuchokera kwa Katswiri
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Ngati wina akufunsani chifukwa chomwe simunakwatire, yesani kuponya chakudya kumaso kwawo ndikungodzudzula mliriwo. Kulumikizana ndi dziko lakunja kwa miyezi ingapo kwatipangitsa kukhulupirira kuti mizere yojambula ngati "Mukufuna kuyandikira kuposa mapazi 6?" idzagwira ntchito.
Osadzikakamiza kwambiri. Pafupifupi aliyense wayiwala momwe angapitirizire kucheza ndi munthu popanda kutumiza ma emojis ndi ma GIF kuti athetse macheza. Kudzudzula mliriwu ndi njira yophweka yochotsera funso lomwe lingakupangitseni kuganizira kwambiri mtundu wa malaya omwe mudavala pa tsiku lanu lomaliza.
Kukhala wosakwatiwa pamene mukuyang’ana chikondi kungawononge kudzidalira kwanu ndi kudzidalira kwanu. Mutha kudzifunsa mafunso monga, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimakhala wosakwatiwa nthawi zonse?" kutsatiridwa ndi kudzidzudzula. Kodi munayamba mwaganizapo kuti mwina yankho lingakhale chifukwa chakuti ndinu abwino kwambiri kwa wina aliyense, ndipo palibe amene amayandikira? Khalani chibwano mmwamba!
Zifukwa kukhala mbeta zitha kukhala zambiri. Poyamba, ndalama zonsezo mumasunga chifukwa simuyenera kupeza ziwiri pazakudya zilizonse zomwe mukuyitanitsa. Mudzakhalanso ndi nthawi yochuluka yodzichitira nokha, m'malo momvetsera mnzanu akudandaula za ntchito. Tisaiwale za anzanu onse omwe mungapange! Ndipo anthu amene munasiya kucheza nawo, tsiku limene munalowa pachibwenzi.
Kukhala mbeta si chinthu choipa. Koma mosasamala kanthu za ubwino wake, ngati funso lakuti 'chifukwa chiyani ndidakali wosakwatiwa?' zikukulemetsani, zifukwa zomwe talemba pansipa zitha kukupatsani mayankho omwe mukuyang'ana.
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1. Simukufuna kuchita chilichonse chocheperapo kuposa "chimodzicho"
Zikuwoneka bwino m'mafilimu, kugundana mwangozi pakona, kukumana ku laibulale yodziwika bwino, kuyang'ana maso ndi kugwa m'chikondi mopanda malire.
Koma moyo weniweni ndi wosiyana kwambiri. Ngati muli ndi mwayi, mutha kusuntha mosayembekezera zambiri. Inu nonse mudzazigunda mokwanira kuti mukhale ndi tsiku. Tsikulo lidzakhala labwino kwambiri ndipo mwina mungaganize zoyambira paubwenzi ndi munthu uyu.
Ngati mukuyembekezera msilikali wanu wovala zida zonyezimira kuti abwere ndi kudzakuchotsani kumapazi anu mphindi yomwe iye akuyang'ana pa inu, mudzakhala mukumuyang'ana iye mpaka inu mutakhala pa bedi lanu la imfa. Kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zazikulu za bwenzi lanu lamtsogolo kungakhale chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe simunakwatirane.
Geetarsh akufotokoza momwe kusintha zoyembekeza kumakhala kovuta kuyeza, komanso kumawunikira kufunika kwake kusamalira zoyembekeza mu ubale. “Ziyembekezo zimasintha malinga ndi msinkhu, mikhalidwe ndi nthaŵi. Zimene umafuna uli ndi zaka 18 n’zosiyana kwambiri ndi zimene umafuna ukakhala ndi zaka 25. Chotero, kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zazikulu kwambiri kungakhale chimodzi mwa zifukwa zimene munthu amalephera kukhazikika ndi munthu wina; palinso unyinji wa mbali zina zimene zimatsimikiziranso chotulukapo.”
"Ngakhale zili choncho, muyenera kuyang'anabe ngati zomwe mukuyembekezerazo zili zenizeni, kapena ngati mukukonzekeretsa malingaliro osangalatsa achikondi m'mutu mwanu." Anthu ambiri amayang'ana anzawo omwe ali ndi mabanja omwe ali pafupi nawo ndikuganiza kuti ndi momwe ubale wawo uyenera kukhalira.
“Dziikireni miyezo yanuyanu, zoyembekeza zanu, zokhumba zanu.” Simungayang’ane zimene ena amayembekezera kuchokera ku maunansi awo; zosoŵa zanu ndi zokhumba zanu zidzakhala zaubwenzi wanuwokha basi.
Kunena zoona, ngati mungapeze munthu amene amakusekani, amakukondani komanso ndi wabwino kwambiri, tinganene kuti mwachita bwino kwambiri.
2. Mukuuwa mtengo wolakwika
Kutanthauza kuti mukukopana ndi munthu wolakwika. N’kutheka kuti anthu amene mumasankha kukhala mabwenzi anu si abwino kwa inu, ndipo mumalephera kuwaona. Mwina nthawi yake si yabwino, mwina si abwino kwa inu, kapena sangakhale ndi inu ndipo muli ndi vuto. chikondi cha mbali imodzi.
Ngati mumadzisankhira nokha munthu wolakwika, zitha kuyankha mosavuta funso lililonse loyaka moto lomwe muli nalo pamizere ya, "Chifukwa chiyani sindili wosakwatiwa?" kapena “N’chifukwa chiyani ndidakali wosakwatiwa ndili ndi zaka 30?”
“Njira yopeŵera kuuwa mtengo wolakwika ndiyo kuchita zolakwa, ndi kumvetsetsa zimene simukufuna mwa munthu pokhapokha mutakumana ndi ochepa amene samakukondani.” Ndi bwino kuyang’ana pozungulira ndi kuyesa, ndiyo njira yokhayo imene mungadziwire chimene chimakupindulitsani ndi chimene sichikusangalatsani,” akutero Geetarsh.
“Kaonedwe kanu pa masewera ochitira zibwenzi kuyenera kusintha.” Lingalireni monga chokumana nacho chophunzirira, chokuthandizani kudziŵa zimene simukufuna kwa mnzanu.
Kudziwa mtundu wa munthu yemwe mukuyang'ana ndikofunikira. Pamene aliyense amafuna winawake zabwino, yesetsani kuganizira za makhalidwe amene mungakonde mwa munthu. Onetsetsani kuti simukunena mopenga, mungomaliza kuwerenganso nambala wani!
3. Mumafananiza abwenzi atsopano ndi anthu am'mbuyomu
Tikadali malonda apakati, ngati nthawi yomweyo muyamba kufananiza zinthu za anthu osawadziwa ndi yemwe munali naye kale, mutha kutsanzikana ndi chiyembekezo chilichonse chofuna kupeza bwenzi posachedwa. Kukhala wotsutsa kwambiri, nthawi zonse kufananiza anthu atsopano omwe mumakumana nawo ndi anthu am'mbuyomu, kumatha kukupatsani ziyembekezo zazikulu kwambiri.
Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti aliyense amabwera ndi zofooka zake komanso mphamvu zake. Palibe amene angagwirizane ndi bilu yomwe muli nayo m'malingaliro anu ndipo palibe amene angapambane mayeso oyerekeza. Choncho ngati inu munakhala kunena zinthu ngati “Sindikudziwa chifukwa ine ndidakali wosakwatiwa”, kuona ngati inu nthawizonse kuyerekeza angathe okonda atsopano kwa anthu inu munakumanapo kale.
Geetarsh akufotokoza momwe muyenera kuyang'ananso momwe mumayankhira pakufananitsa komwe mumapanga m'malingaliro anu. “Kufananiza kungakhale kwachibadwa munthu akakumbutsidwa za winawake wam’mbuyo.” Komanso kuyang’ana mafananidwe anu, chofunikanso ndicho kufufuza mmene mukumuyankhira.
“Mwina mungaganize kuti munthu watsopanoyu m’moyo mwanu sakuchita zimene mnzanu wapambuyo pake anali kuchita, koma mmene mumachitira ndi zimenezo zimatsimikizira ngati kuli kufananitsa kwabwino kapena ayi.
4. Ndinu ochezeka kwambiri
Ayi, sitikutanthauza kuwombera anthu anu onse, koma ndizotheka kuti anu thupi amawopseza anthu ena mosazindikira. Yesetsani kufunsa anthu ochepa omwe ali pafupi nanu ngati pali chinachake chowopsya chokhudza inu komanso ngati angakufikireni paphwando.
Ngati yankho silili labwino, mwina valani mitundu yopepuka, masulani, tayani masharubu (kapena milomo yakuda) ndikuyesera kuoneka ochezeka.
Osachitira mwano aliyense amene abwera kudzalankhula nanu. Wina wabwino ndi chinthu choyamba chomwe anthu amafunafuna akamapeza wina woti azimukonda. Ndipo ngati simunakhalepo pachibwenzi, yesetsani kusachita mantha ndi lingaliro loti wina abwere kudzalankhula nanu. Mutha kuwonetsa zizindikiro zosasangalatsa kwa anthu. Chongani izo.
5. Simunakonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi
Zifukwa zomwe simuli okonzeka pa chibwenzi mwina kudzaza pang'ono kope. Mwina munavutika ndi chisoni chachikulu chomwe simunathe kuchithetsa. Mwina ndinu a kudzipereka-phobe amene amaopa kukhala pachibwenzi, kapena mwina ndinu wamng'ono kwambiri ndipo amayi anu akukanani.
Ngakhale mutakhala kunja, kuyesa kuyang'ana chibwenzi, ngati kumapeto kwa tsiku simunakonzekere kulola wina, sizingagwire ntchito. Kuti muthe kuchita bwino pachibwenzi, muyenera kukhala pachiwopsezo ndikuphunzira kudalira munthu wina.
Geetarsh anati: “Anthu akamaopa kucheza ndi anthu chifukwa cha zimene zinawachitikira m’mbuyomu, zinthu zimene anaona kapena mmene amakhudzira moyo wawo, ayenera kuthetsa vutolo mwamsanga. Atafunsidwa mmene munthu angakhalire ndi mantha oopa kudzipereka, Geetarsh ananena kuti: “Pemphani thandizo la akatswiri.
"Khalani omasuka ndi kulankhulana kwanu, zofuna zanu ndi kusatetezeka kwanu. Musabise mantha anu odzipereka, onetsetsani kuti mwawaika patebulo. Komabe, onetsetsani kuti simukudandaula za kudzipereka kwanu. Dziyeseni nokha, zina zonse zidzagwera m'malo mwake."
Kukhala ndi makoma anu ndi khungu lanu pansi poyesera kudziteteza ku zovulaza, zomwe mungakhale mukukumana nazo m'mbuyomu, zidzangotanthauza chiwonongeko cha moyo wanu wa chibwenzi. Ngati mukukhulupirira kuti mukufuna thandizo kuti muthane ndi zovuta zomwe muli nazo, Bonobology's gulu la akatswiri odziwa zachipatala, kuphatikizapo Geetarsh mwiniwake, angakuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungakhulupirirenso munthu wina.
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6. Mumapatsa nthawi yochulukirapo pazinthu zina za moyo wanu
Maubwenzi ndi ntchito zambiri. Amafuna khama lalikulu kuti atsatire, kusamalira ndi kulima. Ngati mwakhala otanganidwa kwambiri kupanga ntchito, ndi zomveka kwathunthu kuti inu akadali wosakwatiwa chifukwa cha izo. Kusankha ntchito pa ubale si chinthu choipa. A kugwirira ntchito pamoyo ndizosiyana pang'ono pamene moyo wanu uli ndi bwenzi latsopano lachikondi mmenemo, ndizovuta kwambiri kusunga.
Moyo ukayamba kukhala wotanganidwa, mumapanga chizoloŵezi chothana ndi zomwe mumayembekezera nthawi zonse kuntchito. Anthu ena amayamba kukondana ndi zochita zawo m’malo mochita zinthu zina zofunika kwambiri ndipo saona chifukwa chosinthira zochita zawo.
Dzifunseni nokha ngati mudakhalapo omasuka kuti muthe kupeza chibwenzi. Ngati simunatero, mwangoyankha funso lakuti “N’chifukwa chiyani ndili wosakwatiwa?”
7. Simukuyesa zolimba kuti mukhale m'modzi
Zoonadi, chikondi chimabwera pamene simuchifuna, koma kodi mukuyembekeza kuti chikondi cha moyo wanu chidzagogoda pakhomo lanu la nyumba ya 4 pamene mukugona pabedi lanu Lachisanu usiku, kuwonera Netflix?
Mfundo ndi yakuti, simungayembekezere kutero pezani chikondi ngati inu konse kunja pa madeti, konse kucheza, konse kupita ku maphwando, kapena ngati muli mbali ya “Ndimadana ndi chibwenzi mapulogalamu, Ndikufuna kuchita izo wakale sukulu kalembedwe” brigade. Ngakhale kukhala ndi zokonda zanu za momwe mukufuna kuyamba chibwenzi ndikwabwino, simunganyalanyaze kuchuluka kwa mapulogalamu a chibwenzi kudzawonjezera mwayi wanu wopeza chikondi. “Chifukwa chiyani ndili wosakwatiwa”, atha kukhala ndi yankho losavuta monga: simukuyesera kuti musakhale.
Yesetsani kukhala ochezeka komanso kupita ku zochitika zambiri. Funsani anzanu kuti akukhazikitseni ndi wina yemwe angamudziwe. Mukuyesera kupeza munthu yemwe mungakhale naye moyo wanu wonse. Ngati kuwapeza kunali kophweka, zingakhale zokayikitsa pang'ono, chabwino?
8. Muli ndi nkhani zodzidalira
Mungathe kudzitsimikizira kuti mukuyembekezeradi chibwenzi, koma ngati nthaŵi zonse muona munthu wokongola, mumaganiza kuti, “Amenewo akutuluka m’gulu langa.
Kudzidalira kudzakuthandizani kudzitsimikizira kuti palibe amene angafune kukhala pachibwenzi. Mukamaliza kukhulupirira zimenezo, mukhoza kukhumudwitsa anthu kuti asakuyandikireni chifukwa mukulankhula mokuwa kuti simukufuna kukambirana nawo.
“Ngakhale kuti nkhani zodzidalira nthaŵi zonse zingathe kuthetsedwa ndi chichirikizo cha amene angakhale bwenzi lake, iwo amakhala avuto pamene akukusiyani osakhoza kuyesa kudziloŵetsa m’mikhalidwe yatsopano monga kulankhula ndi munthu watsopano.” Pokhapokha ngati mutalankhulana za kusweka kumene muli nako pa munthu wina, sikudzakhala kosatheka kupeza wina amene mungamve kukhala wogwirizana naye,” akutero Geetarsh.
Ananenanso kuti: “Aliyense amapeza bwenzi lomuyenerera bwino, zimangofunika kuyesetsa. kusatetezeka kukulepheretsani kuyesa kupeza ndi kukulitsa maubwenzi ndi anthu, muyenera kuwavomereza ndi kuwagwirira ntchito. ”
Nkhani zodzidalira zimachokera ku kusadzidalira ndi kudzikayikira. Chitanipo kanthu m'maganizo, ganizirani njira yolankhulirana, ganizirani chifukwa chake mumadziweruza nokha. Mukangodzikonda nokha, zimakhala zosavuta kukonda munthu wina. Simudzayenera kudzifunsa zinthu monga, “Kodi ndidzakhala wosakwatiwa nthawi zonse?”
9. Simuli opambana pa maubwenzi
Kumanga lamba, uyu akhoza kupweteka. Ngati maubwenzi anu am'mbuyomu adatha ndikusweka kowawa ndipo mukudzifunsa kuti, "Sindikudziwa chifukwa chake ndili wosakwatiwa", zitha kukhala chifukwa mudakankhira anthu kutali.
Musanatembenuzire maso anu pamfundoyi ndi kupita ku yotsatira, yesani kukumbukira ngati mwina munali munthu woyamba kutaya mtima pokangana. Mwina munayankha mopanda chilungamo pakuchonderera malo anu enieni, kapena munangoyembekezera zambiri kuchokera kwa mnzanu.
Ganizirani ngati mwina simunali bwenzi lapamtima, koma musadziimbe mlandu pazonse zomwe zidalakwika. Werengani momwe mungapititsire a ubale wabwino ndi wina ndikuyesera kukhala bwenzi labwino kwambiri lomwe mungakhale.
10. Yandikirani masewera a chibwenzi njira yoyenera
Ngakhale mutaganizira nambala 7 ndikuyamba kuyesetsa kwambiri, zoyesayesa zanu zitha kuwonongeka ngati simukuchita bwino. Geetarsh imatithandiza kumvetsetsa momwe tingayandikire masewera a chibwenzi m'njira yoyenera. "Choyamba, musamafulumire, musamavutike munthu wina akakutumizirani mameseji angapo abwino am'mawa.
“N’zosavuta kulola kutengeka maganizo, koma onetsetsani kuti musalole kuti maganizo anu akulota ali maso.” Ganizirani chithunzi chachikulu pamene mukulankhula ndi munthu wina, ndipo musachite zinthu mopupuluma.
Komanso, onetsetsani kuti mukufanana ndi nzeru za munthu wina, osati mmene mukumvera pamene muli naye.” Ubwenzi wanzeru ndi wamaganizo ndiwo zinthu zofunika kwambiri zimene zimagwirizanitsa ubwenzi, ngakhale pamene chikondicho chimatha ndipo chifundo chokhalitsa chimatenga malo ake.
11. “Munthu woyenera” kwa inu sanabwerebe
Zochitika zolota pang'ono, koma ndizotheka kuti simunakwatirebe chifukwa munthu woyenera sanafikebe. Osadandaula, palibe munthu m'modzi yekha amene akukuyembekezerani m'dziko lalikululi. Anthu nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi anzawo opitilira m'modzi omwe amakumana nawo m'miyoyo yawo.
Pamene munthu woyenera abwera kwa inu, mudzatha kumva. Yesetsani kuti musatero kugwa mchikondi mwachangu kwambiri ngakhale, simukufuna kuwawopseza kutali mchere usanafike patebulo lanu!
Kudikirira 'wina' si njira yabwino. Zoyembekeza zanu zidzakupangitsani kukhumudwitsidwa nthawi zambiri kuposa ayi ndipo mudzakhala osankha kuposa nthawi zonse, kuphonya mulu wa zokumana nazo zabwino ndi anthu osiyanasiyana. Osasankha kupeza bwenzi loyenera…pamene akuyenera kubwera, adzatero.
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"Chifukwa chiyani ndili single?" ndi funso lomwe lingakhale ndi mayankho angapo. Chofunikira kukumbukira ndikuti mukuyenera kukondedwa, monga wina aliyense ndipo pakadali pano, muyenera kuyesetsa nokha kuti mukhale bwenzi labwino kwambiri lomwe mungakhale.
Osadandaula kwambiri za 'kodi ine nthawizonse kukhala wosakwatiwa', basi kuti chibwenzi app mbiri, kugunda maphwando angapo anzanu ndi kucheza kuposa kale. Simungapeze chikondi nthawi yomweyo, koma mupeza malo odyera abwino ochepa!
Ibibazo
Anthu amatha kusankha kusakwatira popanda kusankha, kapena chifukwa chazifukwa zomwe sangakhale otsimikiza kapena chifukwa cha zowawa zakale. Nthawi zina kusudzulana kwaukali ndi kokwanira kuyika munthu pachibwenzi kwakanthawi, kapena nthawi zina sakufuna kukhala pachibwenzi.
Inde, n’kwachibadwa kukhala wosakwatiwa kwa nthawi yaitali. Mutha kupeza chisangalalo popanda kukhala pachibwenzi, ndipo mutha kukhala ndi nthawi yochulukirapo yoganizira nokha kapena ntchito yanu ngati simuli pabanja. Kukhala wosakwatiwa kwa nthawi yayitali ndikwabwinobwino ndipo nthawi zambiri kumakhala wathanzi.
Studies amanena kuti anthu osakwatira amakonda kupeza chimwemwe chochuluka kuchokera m’mikhalidwe yofanana ya anthu kusiyana ndi mmene anthu apaubwenzi amachitira. Anthu amene sali pa banja amakhalanso ndi anzawo apamtima komanso amasangalala ndi ntchito. Ngakhale kuti chimwemwe chili mkhalidwe wodzimvera chisoni kwambiri, mikangano ina ingapangidwe yakuti anthu osakwatira amakonda kukhala achimwemwe.
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Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
