Kodi funso lakuti, “Chifukwa chiyani ndili wosakwatiwa?”, limakupatsirani tulo, kukupatsirani kuganiza mopambanitsa yankho m’malo moyesera kutuluka ndikupeza ubwenzi wopindulitsa? Pazifukwa zambiri zomwe mungakhalebe osakwatiwa, tikukutsimikizirani kuti mafuta onunkhira omwe mudavala pa tsiku lanu lomaliza si chimodzi mwa izo.
Mwina nthawi yake sinali bwino, mwina sizinalembedwe mu nyenyezi, kapena mwina munaphonya chizindikirocho ndipo simunawapsompsone, kutsiriza tsikulo ndi kukumbatirana komwe sikunapite kulikonse.
Kukhala wosakwatiwa kuli ndi ubwino wake, koma ngati mukufunafuna chikondi cha moyo wanu, zingasinthe mwachangu kuchoka pa “Ndikhoza kuchita chilichonse chomwe ndikufuna!” kupita ku “Ndikufuna kuchita chilichonse chomwe ndikufuna ndi munthu amene ndimamukonda.” Komabe, chifukwa chake simuli wosakwatiwa sichiyenera kukhala chinsinsi. Mothandizidwa ndi mphunzitsi wa chibwenzi Geetarsh Kaur , yemwe anayambitsa Sukulu ya Skill yomwe imadziwika bwino pakumanga ubale wolimba, tiyeni tiyese kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake simunapeze munthu woti musunge chidutswa chomaliza cha pizza pakadali pano.
Zifukwa 11 Zomwe Simunakwatirebe - Dziwani Kuchokera kwa Katswiri
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Ngati wina akufunsani chifukwa chomwe simunakwatire, yesani kuponya chakudya kumaso kwawo ndikungodzudzula mliriwo. Kulumikizana ndi dziko lakunja kwa miyezi ingapo kwatipangitsa kukhulupirira kuti mizere yojambula ngati "Mukufuna kuyandikira kuposa mapazi 6?" idzagwira ntchito.
Osadzikakamiza kwambiri. Pafupifupi aliyense wayiwala momwe angapitirizire kucheza ndi munthu popanda kutumiza ma emojis ndi ma GIF kuti athetse macheza. Kudzudzula mliriwu ndi njira yophweka yochotsera funso lomwe lingakupangitseni kuganizira kwambiri mtundu wa malaya omwe mudavala pa tsiku lanu lomaliza.
Kukhala wosakwatiwa pamene mukuyang’ana chikondi kungawononge kudzidalira kwanu ndi kudzidalira kwanu. Mutha kudzifunsa mafunso monga, "N'chifukwa chiyani ndimakhala wosakwatiwa nthawi zonse?" kutsatiridwa ndi kudzidzudzula. Kodi munayamba mwaganizapo kuti mwina yankho lingakhale chifukwa chakuti ndinu abwino kwambiri kwa wina aliyense, ndipo palibe amene amayandikira? Khalani chibwano mmwamba!
Zifukwa zokhala wosakwatira zingakhale zambiri. Choyamba, ndalama zonse zomwe mumasunga chifukwa simukuyenera kugula ziwiri mwa zakudya zilizonse zomwe mukuziitanitsa. Mudzakhalanso ndi nthawi yochulukirapo yodzigwirira ntchito nokha, m'malo momvetsera mnzanu akuyankhula za ntchito. Tisaiwale za mabwenzi onse omwe mungakhale nawo! Ndi omwe mukanasiya kucheza nawo, tsiku lomwe munalowa pachibwenzi.
Kukhala mbeta si chinthu choipa. Koma mosasamala kanthu za ubwino wake, ngati funso lakuti 'chifukwa chiyani ndidakali wosakwatiwa?' zikukulemetsani, zifukwa zomwe talemba pansipa zitha kukupatsani mayankho omwe mukuyang'ana.
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1. Simukufuna kuchita chilichonse chocheperapo kuposa "chimodzicho"
Zikuwoneka bwino m'mafilimu, kugundana mwangozi pakona, kukumana ku laibulale yodziwika bwino, kuyang'ana maso ndi kugwa m'chikondi mopanda malire.
Koma moyo weniweni ndi wosiyana kwambiri. Ngati muli ndi mwayi, mutha kusuntha mosayembekezera zambiri. Inu nonse mudzazigunda mokwanira kuti mukhale ndi tsiku. Tsikulo lidzakhala labwino kwambiri ndipo mwina mungaganize zoyambira paubwenzi ndi munthu uyu.
Ngati mukuyembekezera msilikali wanu wovala zida zonyezimira kuti abwere ndi kudzakuchotsani kumapazi anu mphindi yomwe iye akuyang'ana pa inu, mudzakhala mukumuyang'ana iye mpaka inu mutakhala pa bedi lanu la imfa. Kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zazikulu za bwenzi lanu lamtsogolo kungakhale chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zomwe simunakwatirane.
Geetarsh akufotokoza momwe kusintha kwa ziyembekezo kumavuta kuwerengera, komanso akufotokoza kufunika kosamalira ziyembekezo muubwenzi . "Zoyembekeza zimasintha ndi zaka, mikhalidwe ndi nthawi. Zomwe mukufuna mukakwanitsa zaka 18 zimasiyana kwambiri ndi zomwe mukufuna mukakwanitsa zaka 25. Chifukwa chake, kukhala ndi ziyembekezo zapamwamba kwambiri kungakhale chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe munthu sangathe kukhazikika ndi munthu wina; palinso zinthu zina zambiri zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zotsatira zake zikhale zabwino."
"Ngakhale zili choncho, muyenera kuyang'anabe ngati zomwe mukuyembekezerazo zili zenizeni, kapena ngati mukukonzekeretsa malingaliro osangalatsa achikondi m'mutu mwanu." Anthu ambiri amayang'ana anzawo omwe ali ndi mabanja omwe ali pafupi nawo ndikuganiza kuti ndi momwe ubale wawo uyenera kukhalira.
“Dziikireni miyezo yanuyanu, zoyembekeza zanu, zokhumba zanu.” Simungayang’ane zimene ena amayembekezera kuchokera ku maunansi awo; zosoŵa zanu ndi zokhumba zanu zidzakhala zaubwenzi wanuwokha basi.
Kunena zoona, ngati mungapeze munthu amene amakusekani, amakukondani komanso ndi wabwino kwambiri, tinganene kuti mwachita bwino kwambiri.
2. Mukuuwa mtengo wolakwika
Kutanthauza kuti, mukukopana ndi munthu wolakwika. Mwina anthu omwe mumasankha kukhala okwatirana nawo si oyenera kwa inu, ndipo simukuona. Mwina nthawi yake si yoyenera, mwina si abwino kwa inu, kapena sangakukondeni ndipo muli ndi chikondi cha mbali imodzi.
Ngati mumadzisankhira nokha munthu wolakwika, zitha kuyankha mosavuta funso lililonse loyaka moto lomwe muli nalo pamizere ya, "Chifukwa chiyani sindili wosakwatiwa?" kapena “N’chifukwa chiyani ndidakali wosakwatiwa ndili ndi zaka 30?”
“Njira yopeŵera kuuwa mtengo wolakwika ndiyo kuchita zolakwa, ndi kumvetsetsa zimene simukufuna mwa munthu pokhapokha mutakumana ndi ochepa amene samakukondani.” Ndi bwino kuyang’ana pozungulira ndi kuyesa, ndiyo njira yokhayo imene mungadziwire chimene chimakupindulitsani ndi chimene sichikusangalatsani,” akutero Geetarsh.
“Kaonedwe kanu pa masewera ochitira zibwenzi kuyenera kusintha.” Lingalireni monga chokumana nacho chophunzirira, chokuthandizani kudziŵa zimene simukufuna kwa mnzanu.
Kudziwa mtundu wa munthu amene mukufuna ndiye chinsinsi. Ngakhale aliyense akufuna munthu wabwino , yesani kuganizira za makhalidwe ena omwe mungafune mwa munthu wina. Komabe, onetsetsani kuti simukunena momveka bwino, mudzangowerenga mfundo yoyamba kachiwiri!
3. Mumafananiza abwenzi atsopano ndi anthu am'mbuyomu
Mukakhala pa mapulogalamu ochezera , ngati muyamba kufananiza zinthu zokhudza anthu osawadziwa ndi munthu amene munali naye kale, mungatsanzikane ndi chiyembekezo chilichonse chofuna kupeza mnzanu posachedwa. Kukhala wotsutsa kwambiri, nthawi zonse kufananiza anthu atsopano omwe mumakumana nawo ndi anthu akale, kumangokupatsani ziyembekezo zapamwamba kwambiri.
Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti aliyense amabwera ndi zofooka zake komanso mphamvu zake. Palibe amene angagwirizane ndi bilu yomwe muli nayo m'malingaliro anu ndipo palibe amene angapambane mayeso oyerekeza. Choncho ngati inu munakhala kunena zinthu ngati “Sindikudziwa chifukwa ine ndidakali wosakwatiwa”, kuona ngati inu nthawizonse kuyerekeza angathe okonda atsopano kwa anthu inu munakumanapo kale.
Geetarsh akufotokoza momwe muyenera kuyang'ananso momwe mumayankhira pakufananitsa komwe mumapanga m'malingaliro anu. “Kufananiza kungakhale kwachibadwa munthu akakumbutsidwa za winawake wam’mbuyo.” Komanso kuyang’ana mafananidwe anu, chofunikanso ndicho kufufuza mmene mukumuyankhira.
“Mwina mungaganize kuti munthu watsopanoyu m’moyo mwanu sakuchita zimene mnzanu wapambuyo pake anali kuchita, koma mmene mumachitira ndi zimenezo zimatsimikizira ngati kuli kufananitsa kwabwino kapena ayi.
4. Ndinu ochezeka kwambiri
Ayi, sitikufuna kuyesa umunthu wanu wonse, koma n'zotheka kuti thupi lanu limaopseza anthu ena mosazindikira. Yesani kufunsa anthu ochepa omwe ali pafupi nanu ngati pali chilichonse chomwe chikukuopsezani komanso ngati angakufikireni pa phwando.
Ngati yankho silili labwino, mwina valani mitundu yopepuka, masulani, tayani masharubu (kapena milomo yakuda) ndikuyesera kuoneka ochezeka.
Osachitira mwano aliyense amene abwera kudzalankhula nanu. Wina wabwino ndi chinthu choyamba chomwe anthu amafunafuna akamapeza wina woti azimukonda. Ndipo ngati simunakhalepo pachibwenzi, yesetsani kusachita mantha ndi lingaliro loti wina abwere kudzalankhula nanu. Mutha kuwonetsa zizindikiro zosasangalatsa kwa anthu. Chongani izo.
5. Simunakonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi
Zifukwa zomwe simunakonzekere chibwenzi mwina zingadzaze kabuku kakang'ono. Mwina munakumana ndi vuto lalikulu la mtima lomwe simunathe kulithetsa. Mwina ndinu munthu woopa kudzipereka amene amaopa chibwenzi, kapena mwina muli wamng'ono kwambiri ndipo amayi anu akukana.
Ngakhale mutakhala kunja, kuyesa kuyang'ana chibwenzi, ngati kumapeto kwa tsiku simunakonzekere kulola wina, sizingagwire ntchito. Kuti muthe kuchita bwino pachibwenzi, muyenera kukhala pachiwopsezo ndikuphunzira kudalira munthu wina.
Geetarsh anati: “Anthu akamaopa kucheza ndi anthu chifukwa cha zimene zinawachitikira m’mbuyomu, zinthu zimene anaona kapena mmene amakhudzira moyo wawo, ayenera kuthetsa vutolo mwamsanga. Atafunsidwa mmene munthu angakhalire ndi mantha oopa kudzipereka, Geetarsh ananena kuti: “Pemphani thandizo la akatswiri.
"Khalani omasuka ndi kulankhulana kwanu, zofuna zanu ndi kusatetezeka kwanu. Musabise mantha anu odzipereka, onetsetsani kuti mwawaika patebulo. Komabe, onetsetsani kuti simukudandaula za kudzipereka kwanu. Dziyeseni nokha, zina zonse zidzagwera m'malo mwake."
Kutseka makoma anu ndi kutseka maso anu pofuna kudziteteza ku mavuto, omwe mwina munakumana nawo kale, kumangotanthauza tsoka pa moyo wanu wokonda chibwenzi. Ngati mukukhulupirira kuti mukufuna thandizo kuti muthane ndi mavuto omwe angakhalepo okhudzana ndi kudzipereka kwanu, gulu la akatswiri odziwa bwino ntchito za Bonobology , kuphatikizapo Geetarsh mwiniwake, lingakuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mungadalirenso munthu wina.
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6. Mumapatsa nthawi yochulukirapo pazinthu zina za moyo wanu
Ubale ndi ntchito yambiri. Umafuna khama lalikulu kuti utsatire, usunge ndi kukulitsa. Ngati mwakhala otanganidwa kwambiri ndi ntchito, n'zotheka kuti mukadali osakwatira chifukwa cha izi. Kusankha ntchito yanu kuposa chibwenzi sikoipa konse. Kugwirizana pakati pa ntchito ndi moyo kumakhala kosiyana pang'ono pamene moyo wanu uli ndi mnzanu watsopano wachikondi, zimakhala zovuta kusunga.
Moyo ukayamba kukhala wotanganidwa, mumapanga chizoloŵezi chothana ndi zomwe mumayembekezera nthawi zonse kuntchito. Anthu ena amayamba kukondana ndi zochita zawo m’malo mochita zinthu zina zofunika kwambiri ndipo saona chifukwa chosinthira zochita zawo.
Dzifunseni nokha ngati mudakhalapo omasuka kuti muthe kupeza chibwenzi. Ngati simunatero, mwangoyankha funso lakuti “N’chifukwa chiyani ndili wosakwatiwa?”
7. Simukuyesa zolimba kuti mukhale m'modzi
Zoonadi, chikondi chimabwera pamene simuchifuna, koma kodi mukuyembekeza kuti chikondi cha moyo wanu chidzagogoda pakhomo lanu la nyumba ya 4 pamene mukugona pabedi lanu Lachisanu usiku, kuwonera Netflix?
Mfundo ndi yakuti, simungayembekezere kupeza chikondi ngati simukupita ku ma deti, simukupita ku macheza, simukupita ku maphwando, kapena ngati muli m'gulu la "Ndimadana ndi mapulogalamu ochezera, ndikufuna kuchita izi kale". Ngakhale kukhala ndi zomwe mumakonda pa momwe mukufuna kuyamba chibwenzi ndikwabwino, simunganyalanyaze kuchuluka kwa mapulogalamu ochezera omwe angakuwonjezereni mwayi wanu wopeza chikondi. "Chifukwa chiyani ndili ndekha", kungakhale ndi yankho losavuta monga: simukuyesetsa mokwanira kuti musatero.
Yesetsani kukhala ochezeka komanso kupita ku zochitika zambiri. Funsani anzanu kuti akukhazikitseni ndi wina yemwe angamudziwe. Mukuyesera kupeza munthu yemwe mungakhale naye moyo wanu wonse. Ngati kuwapeza kunali kophweka, zingakhale zokayikitsa pang'ono, chabwino?
8. Muli ndi nkhani zodzidalira
Mungathe kudzitsimikizira kuti mukuyembekezeradi chibwenzi, koma ngati nthaŵi zonse muona munthu wokongola, mumaganiza kuti, “Amenewo akutuluka m’gulu langa.
Kudzidalira kudzakuthandizani kudzitsimikizira kuti palibe amene angafune kukhala pachibwenzi. Mukamaliza kukhulupirira zimenezo, mukhoza kukhumudwitsa anthu kuti asakuyandikireni chifukwa mukulankhula mokuwa kuti simukufuna kukambirana nawo.
“Ngakhale kuti nkhani zodzidalira nthaŵi zonse zingathe kuthetsedwa ndi chichirikizo cha amene angakhale bwenzi lake, iwo amakhala avuto pamene akukusiyani osakhoza kuyesa kudziloŵetsa m’mikhalidwe yatsopano monga kulankhula ndi munthu watsopano.” Pokhapokha ngati mutalankhulana za kusweka kumene muli nako pa munthu wina, sikudzakhala kosatheka kupeza wina amene mungamve kukhala wogwirizana naye,” akutero Geetarsh.
Iye akuwonjezera kuti, "Aliyense amapeza mnzawo woyenera kwambiri kwa iye, nkhani yake ndi kuyesa. Pamene mavuto osatetezeka akukulepheretsani kupeza ndikukulitsa ubale ndi anthu, muyenera kuwazindikira ndikugwira ntchito pa iwo."
Nkhani zodzidalira zimachokera ku kusadzidalira ndi kudzikayikira. Chitanipo kanthu m'maganizo, ganizirani njira yolankhulirana, ganizirani chifukwa chake mumadziweruza nokha. Mukangodzikonda nokha, zimakhala zosavuta kukonda munthu wina. Simudzayenera kudzifunsa zinthu monga, “Kodi ndidzakhala wosakwatiwa nthawi zonse?”
9. Simuli opambana pa maubwenzi
Kumanga lamba, uyu akhoza kupweteka. Ngati maubwenzi anu am'mbuyomu adatha ndikusweka kowawa ndipo mukudzifunsa kuti, "Sindikudziwa chifukwa chake ndili wosakwatiwa", zitha kukhala chifukwa mudakankhira anthu kutali.
Musanatembenuzire maso anu pamfundoyi ndi kupita ku yotsatira, yesani kukumbukira ngati mwina munali munthu woyamba kutaya mtima pokangana. Mwina munayankha mopanda chilungamo pakuchonderera malo anu enieni, kapena munangoyembekezera zambiri kuchokera kwa mnzanu.
Ganizirani ngati mwina simunali mnzanu wabwino kwambiri, koma musadziimbe mlandu pa chilichonse chomwe chalakwika. Werengani momwe mungasungire ubale wabwino ndi munthu wina ndikuyesera kukhala mnzanu wabwino kwambiri.
10. Yandikirani masewera a chibwenzi njira yoyenera
Ngakhale mutaganizira nambala 7 ndikuyamba kuyesetsa kwambiri, zoyesayesa zanu zitha kuwonongeka ngati simukuchita bwino. Geetarsh imatithandiza kumvetsetsa momwe tingayandikire masewera a chibwenzi m'njira yoyenera. "Choyamba, musamafulumire, musamavutike munthu wina akakutumizirani mameseji angapo abwino am'mawa.
“N’zosavuta kulola kutengeka maganizo, koma onetsetsani kuti musalole kuti maganizo anu akulota ali maso.” Ganizirani chithunzi chachikulu pamene mukulankhula ndi munthu wina, ndipo musachite zinthu mopupuluma.
Komanso, onetsetsani kuti mukufanana ndi nzeru za munthu wina, osati mmene mukumvera pamene muli naye.” Ubwenzi wanzeru ndi wamaganizo ndiwo zinthu zofunika kwambiri zimene zimagwirizanitsa ubwenzi, ngakhale pamene chikondicho chimatha ndipo chifundo chokhalitsa chimatenga malo ake.
11. “Munthu woyenera” kwa inu sanabwerebe
Zochitika zolota pang'ono, koma ndizotheka kuti simunakwatirebe chifukwa munthu woyenera sanafikebe. Osadandaula, palibe munthu m'modzi yekha amene akukuyembekezerani m'dziko lalikululi. Anthu nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi anzawo opitilira m'modzi omwe amakumana nawo m'miyoyo yawo.
Munthu woyenera akabwera kwa inu, mudzatha kumva zimenezo. Komabe, yesetsani kuti musamukonde mofulumira , simukufuna kumuopseza asanadye chakudya chokoma!
Kudikirira 'wina' si njira yabwino. Zoyembekeza zanu zidzakupangitsani kukhumudwitsidwa nthawi zambiri kuposa ayi ndipo mudzakhala osankha kuposa nthawi zonse, kuphonya mulu wa zokumana nazo zabwino ndi anthu osiyanasiyana. Osasankha kupeza bwenzi loyenera…pamene akuyenera kubwera, adzatero.
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"Chifukwa chiyani ndili single?" ndi funso lomwe lingakhale ndi mayankho angapo. Chofunikira kukumbukira ndikuti mukuyenera kukondedwa, monga wina aliyense ndipo pakadali pano, muyenera kuyesetsa nokha kuti mukhale bwenzi labwino kwambiri lomwe mungakhale.
Osadandaula kwambiri za 'kodi ine nthawizonse kukhala wosakwatiwa', basi kuti chibwenzi app mbiri, kugunda maphwando angapo anzanu ndi kucheza kuposa kale. Simungapeze chikondi nthawi yomweyo, koma mupeza malo odyera abwino ochepa!
Ibibazo
Anthu amatha kusankha kusakwatira popanda kusankha, kapena chifukwa chazifukwa zomwe sangakhale otsimikiza kapena chifukwa cha zowawa zakale. Nthawi zina kusudzulana kwaukali ndi kokwanira kuyika munthu pachibwenzi kwakanthawi, kapena nthawi zina sakufuna kukhala pachibwenzi.
Inde, n’kwachibadwa kukhala wosakwatiwa kwa nthawi yaitali. Mutha kupeza chisangalalo popanda kukhala pachibwenzi, ndipo mutha kukhala ndi nthawi yochulukirapo yoganizira nokha kapena ntchito yanu ngati simuli pabanja. Kukhala wosakwatiwa kwa nthawi yayitali ndikwabwinobwino ndipo nthawi zambiri kumakhala wathanzi.
Kafukufuku akunena kuti anthu osakwatira nthawi zambiri amapeza chimwemwe chochuluka kuchokera m'mikhalidwe yofanana ndi ya anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi. Anthu osakwatira alinso ndi mabwenzi apamtima ambiri komanso kukhutira ndi ntchito. Ngakhale kuti chimwemwe ndi mkhalidwe wamaganizo wokhudza munthu payekha, pali mfundo zina zomwe zingapangitse kuti anthu osakwatira azikhala osangalala.
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Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
