Kusatetezeka mu Ubale: Zomwe Zimayambitsa, Zizindikiro, Njira Yothetsera

Kodi munayamba mwakumanapo ndi bwenzi lililonse lomwe mnzanuyo ali nalo likuwoneka ngati lowopsa, mphindi iliyonse yomwe mumapatula payokha iyenera kuwerengedwa ndi iwo, ndipo nthabwala zilizonse zomwe mnzanu amapanga zimatengedwa kuti ndizoukira? Inde? Zonsezi ndi zizindikiro zosonyeza kusatetezeka mu ubale. Ngati aloledwa kukula, angawononge kudalirana, chikondi, ndi kudzimva kukhala osungika zomwe zimalimbitsa mgwirizano pakati pa okwatirana awiri. 

Pachifukwa ichi, tikukupatsani tsatanetsatane wa kusakhazikika muubwenzi. Ndi chidziwitso chochokera kwa akatswiri azaumoyo wamaganizo ndi ubale, katswiri wa zamaganizo Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), katswiri wa zamaganizo Juhi Pandey (MA psychology), ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo komanso mphunzitsi wa luso la moyo, Deepak Kashyap (Masters in Psychology of Education), tiwona bwino zomwe zimayambitsa kusakhazikika muubwenzi, zizindikiro zake, ndi momwe tingathanirane ndi kusakhazikika muubwenzi.

Kodi Kusatetezeka Mu Ubale Ndi Chiyani? 

Pofuna kudziwa zambiri, tiyeni tiyambe ndi mfundo zoyambira, ndikuyankha funso lakuti kusadzidalira muubwenzi n'chiyani?

"Kudziona ngati wopanda pake ndi kudziona ngati wosafunika chifukwa chodzikayikira ndipo kumachititsa munthu kulimbana ndi kudzikayikira."

Deepak Kashyap, Katswiri wa zamaganizo

Mukakhala mukukayikira nthawi zonse zachibadwa ndi luso lanu, zimakhala zovuta kudzidalira nokha komanso ena. Zingakhale zopweteka kumva ndipo zingapangitse ubale kukhala wovuta . Tanthauzo losatetezeka muubwenzi limatanthauza kukhala munthu amene nthawi zonse amafunsa chifukwa chake mnzawo ali naye. Popeza simumadziona kuti ndinu wabwino mokwanira, simungathe kumvetsa chifukwa chake wina angasankhe kukhala nanu. Chifukwa chake, mutha,

• Nthawi zonse kukayikira zolinga za mnzanuyo 
• Kulimbana ndi nkhani za trust 
• Muziona kufunika kowafufuza 
• Pezani chitetezo pafupipafupi 
• Kulephera kutenga udindo pazochita zanu 

Mitundu ya kusatetezeka mu ubale

Ndizovuta kupenta kusatetezeka kwa ubale ndi burashi imodzi kapena kuzigawa m'gulu limodzi. Komabe, ngati muyang'ana tanthauzo losatetezeka mu maubwenzi pafupi, chinthu chimodzi chodziwika bwino chidzawonekera - masitayelo omangika.

Izi zimadziwika ndi chizolowezi chochita zinthu kuchokera pamalo a mantha muubwenzi. Komabe, ngati mutayang'anitsitsa, ngakhale maubwenzi osatetezeka amaonekera m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Nthawi zina, mumawona kuti simukufuna, mwa zina, kudalira kwambiri. Kalembedwe kogwirizana kosagwirizana kangakhale koopsa ngati kalembedwe kopewa. Kutengera izi, kusakhazikika muubwenzi kumatha kugawidwa m'magulu atatu osiyana:

1. Kusatetezeka kwapang'onopang'ono

Mtundu uwu wa kusadzidalira muubwenzi umachokera ku zomwe adakumana nazo ali mwana . Munthu amene amawonetsa kusadzidalira kosokonezeka nthawi zambiri amakhala kuti adazunzidwa maganizo kapena mwakuthupi ndi omwe amamusamalira.

anazunzidwa maganizo kapena mwakuthupi ndi osamalira awo oyamba. 

• Sadziwa zomwe angayembekezere kuchokera kwa anthu omwe amawakonda kapena omwe amawakonda 
• Izi zili choncho chifukwa chakuti anthu amene ankayenera kuwapatsa maphunziro awo oyamba okhudza chikondi anali achikondi nthawi zina ndipo ena anali ankhanza.
• Anthu omwe akhudzidwa ndi vutoli amavutika kuti akhalebe ndi ubale wabwino ndi ena

Amasinthasintha kuchoka pa kugonjera kupita pa nkhanza, kumamatira kupita ku machitidwe akutali mosavuta

2. Kusatetezeka kodetsa nkhawa

Mtundu wachiwiri mwa mitundu itatu ya kusakhazikika muubwenzi umadziwika ndi nkhawa . Anthu omwe akhudzidwa ndi izi:

• Kulimbana ndi kukhazikitsa ubale wapamtima chifukwa choopa ululu wamaganizo 
• Ndipo ndi odziimira pawokha kwambiri mpaka kufika pokhala odzipatula
• Chizindikiro chilichonse chosonyeza kuti munthu wayandikira kwambiri kapena wakondana kwambiri ndi ena chimayambitsa nkhawa yodzaza ndi mantha

Nthawi zambiri, chifukwa chachikulu cha kusatetezeka kwamtunduwu ndiko kukulira mosasamala. Anthu oterowo amaleredwa ndi osamalira otalikirana nawo m’maganizo kapena opunduka, amene amalephera kuwathandiza panthaŵi imene akusoŵa kwambiri. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, amakula akukhulupirira kuti ali paokha. Lingaliro lakuti wina akhoza kuwathandiza kapena kuwapatsa zosowa zawo zamaganizo ndi lachilendo kwa iwo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 12 Zosonyeza Kuti Ubale Wanu Wakale Ukukhudza Ubale Wanu Wamakono

3. Kusatetezeka kosadziwika bwino

Chomaliza mwa mitundu itatu ya kusakhazikika muubwenzi chimadziwika ndi kusagwirizana kwakukulu. Chifukwa chachikulu apa ndi ubwana kapena ubwana. Anthu omwe akulimbana ndi mtundu uwu wa kusakhazikika amasonyeza: 

• Kudalira kwambiri maganizo
• Kufunafuna kuvomerezedwa
• Kufunika kwakukulu kwa chikondi
• Ndipo kukhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kutsutsidwa kapena kukanidwa

Akakhala pachibwenzi, sangaleke kuopa kuti zinthu zingawayendere bwino. Zotsatira zake, amayamba kuyang'ana kwambiri zoipa ndikunyalanyaza kotheratu zabwino za okondedwa awo ndi maubwenzi awo. Izi, ndiye, zimakhala zoyambitsa nkhawa, zimawapangitsa kuthawira kuthawa.

Zomwe Zimayambitsa Kusatetezeka mu Ubale - Zifukwa 8 Zodziwika Kwambiri

Mukamayang'ana zomwe zimayambitsa kusatetezeka, nthawi zambiri mumayenera kuyang'ana mkati ndikuyang'ana pang'ono. Ndi chifukwa chakuti kutengeka kumeneku ndi zotsatira zachindunji za zochitika zosasangalatsa zomwe mwina zakupwetekani pamlingo wina.

"Kudzimva wosatetezeka ndi chinthu chachibadwa mpaka kufika pamlingo winawake. Zimakhala nkhani yodetsa nkhawa munthu akayamba kuchita mantha ndipo chizolowezi chimayamba kuopseza maziko a ubale. Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zingayambitse kusatetezeka muubwenzi. Zinthuzi sizimachitika kawirikawiri. Nthawi zambiri, chifukwa chake chimakhala mwa munthuyo."

– Juhi Pandey, Katswiri wa zamaganizo

Ngati nthawi zambiri mumadzifunsa kuti, “ N’chifukwa chiyani ndili ndi nkhawa kwambiri muubwenzi wanga?”, kufufuza bwino zomwe zimayambitsa kungakuthandizeni kupeza mayankho. Kuti tikwaniritse zimenezi, tiyeni tione bwinobwino zinthu 8 zomwe zimayambitsa kusakhazikika muubwenzi:

1. Kusadzidalira

Malinga ndi Juhi, kusadzidalira kapena kudziona ngati wopanda pake ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu zodzitetezera. Zizolowezi zimenezi zingakupangitseni kumva—mpaka kufika potsimikiza—kuti ena sakuonani kuti ndinu ofunika chifukwa ndi mmene inuyo mumaonera. Chifukwa cha zimenezi, zimakhala zovuta kukhulupirira kuti winawake angakuoneni ngati mnzanu wachikondi.

• Kudzimva kuti ndinu wosatetezeka muubwenzi kumapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kukhulupirira mnzanu akamakuuzani kuti amakukondani
• Mumayamba kuvomereza chikondi chilichonse chomwe chimakukhudzani, mukudzikonzekeretsa kuti mnzanuyo angakusiyeni.
• Chifukwa cha izi, vuto laling'ono kwambiri lingakupangitseni kuti muyambe kulamulira 

Tiyerekeze kuti mnzanu wakwiya nanu. M'malo mochita zinthu monga momwe zilili—ndewu, kusamvana, komwe kumachitika kawirikawiri m'maubwenzi—mumakhala ndi mantha kuti atha ndipo akufunafuna njira yotulukira. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kodi Mukuchita ndi Chibwenzi Chosatetezeka? Nazi Malangizo 15 Othana ndi Mavuto

2. Zochitika zomvetsa chisoni

Ngati mudakhala paubwenzi woyipa ndi munthu wina yemwe amakutsutsani kwambiri kapena anayesa kukukhumudwitsani panjira iliyonse, zomwe zingakuchitikireni zitha kukupangitsani kuti musadzitsimikizire nokha. Mtundu uwu wa nkhanza zamaganizo ukhoza kukudzazani ndi mantha osagwedezeka, omwe amakhala choyambitsa kusagwirizana kwa ubale. 

"Zitsanzo za kusadzidalira zingaonekerenso mwa anthu omwe adakumana ndi zovuta m'mbuyomu. Ngati munthu adamvapo ngati sakukondedwa, kunyalanyazidwa kapena kunyengedwa, adzawonetsa katundu wamaganizowa mwa khalidwe losadzidalira."

– Juhi Pandey, Katswiri wa zamaganizo

3. Kudalira kwambiri maganizo

Chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimachititsa kuti munthu asadzitetezeke ndi kudalira kwambiri maganizo. Tiyerekeze kuti munavutikapo ndi imfa ya wokondedwa wanu m’mbuyomo, kaya imfayo kapena chifukwa chakuti chibwenzi chatha. Kutayikiridwa kumeneku kukhoza kusiya mpata wotero kotero kuti kukhala nokha kumadzaza ndi mantha ndi nkhaŵa.

Zotsatira zake, mumakhala osatetezeka ndipo mumayamba kufuna kuti mnzanu akhale nanu pafupi nthawi zonse. Ngati akufuna kapena akupemphani kuti akupatseni mpata muubwenzi, zimabweretsa nsanje ndi kulamulira ena . Zotsatira zake, mungathe:

• Muzifuna nthawi ndi chisamaliro ngakhale mnzanuyo atakhala kuti sangathe kukupatsani
• Kokani mtima pansi kapena pangani sewero chifukwa lemba lanu silinayankhidwe 
• Ndipo anene milandu chifukwa sanathe kuyankha foni

Makhalidwe amenewa ndi zitsanzo zabwino kwambiri za momwe mnzako wosadzidalira amawonongera ubale. 

4. Nkhani zokhulupirira 

Nkhani zokhulupirirana ndi zina zomwe zimayambitsa kusatetezeka muubwenzi. Mwachitsanzo, ngati munthu anaberedwa ndi bwenzi lake kwa nthaŵi yaitali, kusakhulupirika koteroko kungam’pangitse kukhala wosadalirika. Zoonadi, kukhulupirira mnzako pambuyo pa chochitika cha kusakhulupirika n’kovuta. Koma zikatero, nthawi zambiri, munthu wokhudzidwayo amavutika kuti ayambe kukhulupirirana ngakhale pa maubwenzi awo apambuyo pake.

"Simuyenera kukhala ndi vuto la kusakhulupirika kuti likhale chimodzi mwa zifukwa zazikulu za kusatetezeka. Mwachitsanzo, ngati muli mwana, munawona banja lanu likusweka chifukwa cha kholo limodzi lomwe linabera lina, vutoli lingayambitse kusatetezeka muubwenzi wanu ndi akuluakulu."

– Juhi Pandey, Katswiri wa zamaganizo

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 10 Zosonyeza Kuti Ndinu Chibwenzi Cholimba

5. Zochitika paubwana

Juhi akuti, "Kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti khalidwe lathu la akuluakulu limachokera ku zomwe timakumana nazo tili ana. Kudzimva kuti tili ndi chitetezo muubwenzi kungayambitsidwenso ndi zomwe munthu anakumana nazo ali mwana. Munthuyo akhoza kukhala kuti adakumana ndi mavuto ndi makolo oopsa kapena adawona makolo awo akuvutika ndi mavuto monga kusudzulana, zomwe zingakhale maziko a kusadzidalira kwawo muubwenzi wa akuluakulu."

Kupatula izi, zinthu zina zomwe zingayambitse umunthu wosatetezeka ndi izi:

• Kutaya nyumba
• Kholo
• Kapena wokondedwa
• Kapena kukhala ndi mavuto azachuma pamene mukukula

Nkhani zimenezi zimakambidwa kwa mnzanu kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi, zomwe zimayambitsa mikangano ndi ndewu. Mnzanu wosadzidalira amathetsa ubale chifukwa cha kuvutika maganizo kwa mwana.

6. Nkhani za maonekedwe a thupi 

Kusamasuka pakhungu ndi chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimayambitsa kusadzidalira. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mumadziona kuti muli ndi mafuta m'mimba, mungakhale ndi vuto lokhala pachibwenzi ndi mnzanu. Kusowa kwa chibwenzi kumeneku , makamaka ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sakudziwa kapena sakumvetsa chifukwa chake, kungakupangitseni kukhala osagwirizana.

Kupatula apo, ngati simudziona kuti ndinu wofunika, mutha kukhala ndi zibwenzi zomwe simukuyenererani. Mwachibadwa, izi zimabweretsa maubwenzi osakhutiritsa pomwe mukupitirizabe kunyengerera ndikuchepetsa milingo yanu. Izi zimawonjezeranso kusatetezeka muubwenzi. Ndipo mwatsekeredwa m’nyengo yoipa 

Mavuto a maonekedwe a thupi angayambe chifukwa cha zifukwa zambiri. Koma odziwika kwambiri mwa iwo ndi awa: 

• Kudzudzulidwa chifukwa cha maonekedwe anu kapena maonekedwe anu ngati mwana kapena wachinyamata
• Kunyozedwa kapena kuchitiridwa nkhanza kusukulu chifukwa chokhala woonda kwambiri, wonenepa kwambiri, wonyozeka kwambiri
• Kuuzidwa nthaŵi zonse ndi makolo anu kuti muziyang’anira zakudya zanu, mudye pang’ono, muzichita masewera olimbitsa thupi kwambiri, kapena musavale zovala zina chifukwa ‘sizikugwirizana’ ndi thupi lanu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 9 za Mavuto Okhudzana ndi Kudzipereka Ndi Njira 5 Zothanirana Nazo

7. Kuopa kulephera

Mukufunsa, n’chifukwa chiyani ndili ndi nkhawa kwambiri ndi maubwenzi anga? Chifukwa chofala koma chomwe nthawi zambiri chimanyalanyazidwa chingakhale mantha ofooketsa oti ndilephera. 

• Mwina, munakulira m'banja la anthu opambana kwambiri ndipo nthawi zonse mumauzidwa kuti muyenera kuchita bwino.

Motero, mumayamba kudziikira miyezo yapamwamba kwambiri ndipo mumadzikakamiza kwambiri kuti muikwaniritse

• Kulephera kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu si njira yabwino kwa inu 
• Ngati mutalephera, kulephera kulikonse kumamveka ngati kubaya m'mimba. Kumakupangitsani kukumbukira zomwe makolo anu ankakuuzani kuti simuli bwino mokwanira. 

Popeza kulephera m'moyo n'kosapeweka, malingaliro anu olakwika pa izi amakhala chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe zimayambitsa kusadzidalira. 

Kachitidwe kameneka kamawonekera osati pantchito yanu yokha komanso m'moyo wanu. Mungayambe kuona ubale uliwonse wolephera, kukanidwa kulikonse, kusweka mtima kulikonse ngati umboni wa zofooka zanu, ndipo izi zingayambitsenso mantha a ubale.

8. Kuzunzidwa kungayambitse kusatetezeka

“N’chifukwa chiyani ndilibe chitetezo muubwenzi wanga?” Yankho la funsoli silingakhale lokwanira popanda kutchula za nkhanza. Kuzunzidwa mwakuthupi kapena m’maganizo , kaya muli mwana kapena m’maubwenzi anu akale kungakhale kovuta kwambiri.

Zimaphwanya mzimu wanu ndikukusinthani pamlingo wofunikira. Zosinthazi zimasintha momwe mumadziwonera nokha, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimakupangitsani kuti musamadziderere komanso osadzidalira. Zinthu zonsezi zimakulitsa kusatetezeka kwanu, ndikukupangitsani kukhala osatetezeka m'maubwenzi komanso m'mbali zonse za moyo.

Chifukwa	Kufotokozera	Zotsatira pa Khalidwe la Ubale
Kupanda Chidaliro	Kudziona ngati wopanda pake kumabweretsa kuganiza kuti si wofunika kapena wokondedwa	Kuvuta kukhulupirira chikondi, kuganizira kwambiri mikangano, kuganiza kuti mwasiya, kusakhazikika maganizo panthawi yamavuto ang'onoang'ono
Zochitika Zowawa Kwambiri	Zochitika zakale za kunyalanyazidwa, kunyenga, kapena nkhanza zamaganizo zimapangitsa kuti mabala amaganizo asathe kuthetsedwa	Kuchitapo kanthu mopitirira muyeso, mayankho ochokera ku mantha, kuyembekezera kuperekedwa ngakhale muubwenzi wabwino
Kudalira Kwambiri Maganizo	Kulephera kukhala wekha chifukwa cha kutayika kapena kusakhala ndi malingaliro	Kukakamira, kufunikira nthawi zonse kutsimikizika, nsanje, khalidwe lolamulira, kukwiya kwambiri
Kukhulupirira Zovuta	Kusakhulupirika (kwaumwini kapena kowonedwa) kumawononga kuthekera kokhulupirira	Kukayikira zolinga za mnzanu, kuvutika kumanga ubale wapamtima, mtunda wamaganizo ngakhale kuti muli pafupi kwambiri
Zochitika Paubwana	Kukumana ndi kusakhazikika, kuvulala, kapena mavuto azachuma m'banja mwanu msanga	Kubwerezabwereza machitidwe oipa, kukwera kwa mikangano, kudalira kapena kupewa muubwenzi
Nkhani za Zithunzi za Thupi	Kuona molakwika maonekedwe akuthupi	Kupewa kukondana, kukhutira ndi zinthu zochepa, kusadzidalira pakukopeka, kuchepetsa kulumikizana kwamaganizo ndi thupi
Kuopa Kulephera	Kufuna ungwiro ndi mantha oti "sindili bwino"	Kuona nkhani zaubwenzi ngati kulephera kwaumwini, mantha a kukanidwa, kupewa chiopsezo cha malingaliro
nkhanza	Kuzunzidwa kwakale kumawononga umunthu ndi kudzidalira	Kusadzidalira, kukondana ndi mantha, kuvutika kukhulupirira, kukhudzidwa kwambiri ndi mikangano

18 Zizindikiro Za Kusatetezeka Mu Ubale

Mpaka pano takambirana za kusadzidalira muubwenzi, mitundu yake, ndi zomwe zimayambitsa. Ngati mwapeza kuti zambiri mwa zomwe mwawerenga mpaka pano zikugwirizana, mungamve ngati mantha anu aakulu akukwaniritsidwa. Popeza malingaliro osadzidalira amagwirira ntchito, mwina mukudzimenya nokha, mukuganiza kuti ndinu vuto muubwenzi wanu.

Koma Hei, ndichifukwa chake tili pano. Cholinga ndikuwulula zomwe zikuyambitsa ndikumvetsetsa momwe mungadzipangire nokha paubwenzi kuti mupange ubale wabwino ndi okondedwa wanu. Pachifukwa ichi, ndikofunikira kuzindikira zizindikiro za kusatetezeka muubwenzi, zomwe zimaphatikizapo:  

1. Kufunsa mafunso nthawi zonse

"Kufunsa mnzanu nthawi zonse ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomveka bwino za kusadzidalira muubwenzi." 

• Mukupita kuti? 
• N’chifukwa chiyani mukupita kumeneko? 
• Ukupita ndi ndani? 
• Kodi mumamudziwa bwanji? 
• Munkachita chiyani panthawiyo? 

Mafunso amenewa nthawi zonse amakhala ndi mawu okayikitsa,” akutero Jaseena. 

Chodabwitsa n'chakuti, kufunsa mafunso nthawi zonse, mosiyana ndi zomwe anthu ambiri amakhulupirira, si chizindikiro chabe cha kusadzidalira kwa akazi muubwenzi . Kusadzidalira sikuli ngati amuna kapena akazi, ndipo mafunso okayikitsa omwe mumafunsa mnzanu wanu akhoza kukhala malo oyambira mikangano.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Mwamuna Ali ndi Mavuto Okhulupirirana – Kalata Yotseguka ya Mkazi Kwa Mwamuna Wake

2. Nsanje yoopsa

Nsanje yopanda pake muubwenzi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za kusadzidalira muubwenzi. Tangoganizirani zochitika zomwe sizili zofunika ngati mnzanu akulankhula ndi mnzanu, wachibale, kapena mnzanu wa kuntchito, ngati akumvetsera wina aliyense kupatula inu, zonse zimasokonekera. Anzanga Rick ndi Ashley nthawi zonse anali ndi vuto la nsanje komanso kusadzidalira muubwenzi wawo.

Kaya Rick ankalankhula ndi ndani, Ashley nthawi zonse ankafuna kudziwa za: 

• Uthenga uliwonse umene analandira
• Zimene ankanena
• Ndipo mbiri yake ndi munthu uyu inali yotani? 

Chifukwa cha khalidwe lake lodzikuza, Rick sankafuna kugawana naye zinthu zazing'ono zokhudza moyo wake. Izi zinangopangitsa kuti pakhale mkangano waukulu, zomwe zinapangitsa kuti asiyane.

3. Mukufuna chilimbikitso

N'zosangalatsa kukambirana za tsogolo ndi kuuzana momwe mukukonderana, koma pakapita nthawi, kubwerezabwereza kwa misala kumakhala kodetsa nkhawa. Chizolowezichi chimachokera ku mantha oti munthu angakusiyidwe.

“Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za munthu wosadzidalira muubwenzi ndi kufunikira nthawi zonse kutsimikiziridwa. Mwina nthawi zonse amanena zinthu monga “Ndikukhulupirira kuti tidzakhala limodzi nthawi zonse” kapena kufunsa kuti “Kodi mumandikonda?” Mwachitsanzo, ngati chitsimikizocho chikufunsidwa, pamene mnzanuyo akulankhula zenizeni za mavuto aliwonse omwe angakhale nawo, zimayambitsa nkhawa zambiri paubwenzi kwa mnzanu wosadzidalira,” akutero Jaseena.

4. Nthawi zonse mumayang'anitsitsa wokondedwa wanu

Mukhoza kubetcha ndalama zanu zochepa kuti mnzanu wosadzidalira adzamva kufunika kochita izi: 

• Yang'anani foni ya mnzanu
• Yang'anirani malo awo ochezera a pa Intaneti
• Ndipo ngakhale kuyimbira foni anzawo kuti awafunse zomwe akuchita

Zili ngati kuti adzafufuza zomwe mnzawo wawauza.

“ Mnzanga amandipangitsa kudzimva wosatetezeka chifukwa amalankhula ndi atsikana ake onse akale. Ndinamupempha kuti andiwonetse zokambirana zake nawo. Anavomera koma sanasangalale nazo. Izi zinapangitsa kuti pakhale mkangano waukulu wokhudza nkhani zanga zodalirana, ndipo sindinganene kuti ndikumva bwino pambuyo pake,” anatero Stephanie, mnzanga wazaka 25 wojambula, ponena za mikangano yake yokhazikika ndi chibwenzi chake.

5. Nthawi yabwino imadutsa

“Chizindikiro chimodzi chachikulu cha kusatetezeka m’chibwenzi ndi chakuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wosadzidalira amapempha nthaŵi yochuluka ali limodzi.” Amangonena kuti ‘nthawi yabwino’, koma amangoonetsetsa kuti mnzawoyo ali naye, osati kwina kulikonse.

Poyamba chibwenzi chatsopano , n'zomveka kuti mungafune kukhala ndi nthawi yanu yonse ndi mnzanu. Koma ngati lingaliro lanu lokhala paubwenzi wachikondi ndi munthu limatanthauza kukhala naye maola 24 pa tsiku, masiku 7 pa sabata, mwina ndinu amene simuli otetezeka muubwenziwo.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 10 Zosonyeza Kuti Ndinu Chibwenzi Cholimba

6. Simuchedwa kukhumudwa

Mu ubale uliwonse wathanzi, pali zambiri zosokoneza. Mutha kuseka momwe wokondedwa wanu amanenera mawu ena kapena kuti amaganiza kuti New Mexico ndi likulu la Mexico (ndi Mexico City, mwa njira). Mavuto amadza pamene simungathe kuchita nthabwala ndikupanga zochitika mosafunikira.

"Munthu wosadzidalira salandira nthabwala kapena kutsutsidwa bwino. Amamva kuti akuukiridwa ndipo amaona chilichonse kukhala chapadera kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, ngati muwauza za chizolowezi chomwe ali nacho chosasangalatsa, angakubwezereni mwa kunena kuti, "Bwanji simukukonda chilichonse chokhudza ine?" Izi zingapangitse kuti nkhani iliyonse imveke ngati mkangano ," akutero Jaseena.

7. Mumapepesa kwambiri

Mu maubwenzi osatetezeka, pamakhala nsanje yoopsa. Kuopa kutaya mnzanu kumabweretsa mantha a mikangano. Ngati munthu akumva kuti satetezeka muubwenzi, amaopa kukhumudwitsa mnzanu nthawi zonse. Kodi ndinu munthu amene mumaganiza kuti mnzanuyo wakwiya chifukwa simunawonjezere mawu odandaula pa mawu akuti “Hei” omwe mudamutumizira? Ngati nthawi zonse mumaganiza kuti wakwiya ndipo nthawi zonse mumapepesa pa zinthu zazing'ono, ndi chizindikiro chachikulu cha kusatetezeka muubwenzi.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Njira 13 Zothetsera Mkangano Popanda Kupepesa Ndi Kuthetsa Mkangano

8. Mumasodza kuti muyamikire

Kuyamikira ndi mawu oyamikira ndi abwino, mosakayikira, koma kupitirira muyeso kulikonse kungakhale koopsa paubwenzi. Komabe, ngati ndinu munthu wosadzidalira, zingakhale zovuta kuti muone zimenezo.

• Popeza mumadziona kuti ndinu otsika pa kudzikonda komanso kudzidalira, kufunikira kotsimikizira n'kofunika kwambiri.
• Motero, nthawi zambiri mumadzipeza mukufunafuna kuyamikiridwa, kufunsa mnzanu kuti, “Kodi mumakonda chiyani mwa ine?” kapena “Kodi mukutsimikiza kuti mumandikonda?”

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kusadzidalira muubwenzi. 

9. Mumazembera ma ex anzako pa social media

Mumadziwa kuti ndinu osatetezeka mukamaliza kuzembera ma exes a mnzanu movutikira pazama TV. Zilibe kanthu ngati sakugwirizana ndi mnzanuyo, koma mumatha kufananiza moyo wanu ndi maonekedwe anu ndi awo. Chikhalidwe chozemberachi chingathenso kuchoka m'manja.

Ryan, wojambula zithunzi wochokera ku Boston, adavutika kwambiri chifukwa cha chizolowezi cha chibwenzi chake, Julie. Julie adapita patsogolo kwambiri pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti ndipo adalumikizana ndi mkazi wakale wa Ryan pa Facebook ndi Instagram. Kenako, adalowa m'ma DM a mnzake wapano, ndikumupempha kuti asamulepheretse Ryan. Ngakhale kuti panalibe malire oipa ndi mkazi wakale , Julie adamva kuti ali pachiwopsezo, ndipo Ryan adayenera kusiya naye.

10. Mumayesa kuwalamulira

Nthawi zina, kusadzidalira kungawonekere ngati khalidwe lolamulira muubwenzi . Mungayambe kulowerera m'malo mwa mnzanu ndikuyamba kulamulira zochita zake, zonsezi chifukwa choopa kutaya. Mungayambe kupereka malamulo monga,

• Palibe mausiku
• Osalumikizana ndi ma exes anu
• Ndigawireni mawu achinsinsi anu
• Osacheza pawekha Loweruka ndi Lamlungu

Iyi ndi imodzi mwa njira zambiri zomwe bwenzi lopanda chitetezo limawonongera ubale. Chodabwitsa n’chakuti, mukamayesetsa kulamulira mnzanuyo kuti musawataye, m’pamenenso mungakankhire kutali. 

Kuwerenga Kofanana: N’chifukwa Chiyani Ndikutsata Mkazi Wanga Wakale Pa Malo Ochezera a Pa Intaneti? – Katswiri Amamuuza Zoyenera Kuchita

11. Umayamba kuwapewa

Zingaoneke ngati munthu wosadzidalira nthawi zonse amakhala wokakamira kwambiri komanso wodandaula. Komabe, sizili choncho nthawi zonse. Anthu ena osadzidalira nthawi zambiri amapewanso okondedwa awo. Chifukwa chake, ngati muli ndi njira yopewera kukondana , mutha kupewa mnzanu kapena kukhala kutali ndi inu kuti mudziteteze kuti musatayidwe kapena kuvulala.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kupewa Kugwirizana: Zomwe Zimayambitsa Ndi Momwe Zimakhudzira Ubale

12. Mumayesa kuchita mopambanitsa

Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro za munthu wosadzidalira muubwenzi ndichakuti nthawi zambiri amakhala munthu wochita zinthu mopitirira muyeso. Izi zingamveke zachilendo koma kuyesa 'kukonza' mbali iliyonse ya moyo wanu kungakhale chizindikiro chakuti mukufunadi kutsimikiziridwa ndi mnzanu ndipo mwayamba kukhala munthu wofunafuna chidwi.

13. Mumayamba kuchita zinthu zosayenera kuti mufune chisamaliro

Mukakhala osadzidalira, chimodzi mwa zinthu zoyamba zomwe mungachite ndi kufunafuna chisamaliro. Chifukwa chake, mudzayamba 'kumva kusasangalala' atsikana ake asanafike usiku kapena mudzayenera kudula foni yake ndi mnzake pakati kuti muwafunse momwe mukuonekera mu diresi lanu lomwe mumakonda. Nazi zina mwa zitsanzo izi:

• Mumapanga ndemanga zonyansa kwambiri kapena zonyansa pazithunzi zapa social media za mnzanu kuti mupewe aliyense amene angakonde
• Nthawi zambiri mumawauza momwe mukumvera kuti simukuwoneka bwino - kuti mwanenepa kapena mukufuna kumetedwanso tsitsi, kungomva akunena kuti mukuwoneka bwino.
• Mumatumiza ma selfies angapo a mushy pamasamba ochezera, nthawi zina ngakhale mnzanuyo sakumasuka nazo

14. Muyenera kukhala olondola nthawi zonse

Amakhulupirira kuti chimodzi mwa zifukwa zomwe zimapangitsa kuti munthu azidziona kuti ndi wapamwamba ndi kudziona ngati wonyozeka . Mofananamo, mukamanena kuti nthawi zonse mumachita bwino muubwenzi wanu, mumasonyeza kuti simukuvomereza kutsutsidwa. Ndipo chimenecho ndi khalidwe losadzidalira.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 12 Zosonyeza Kuti Mukuchita Chibwenzi ndi Munthu Amene Ali ndi Chibwenzi ndi Mulungu

15. Ndiwe wosakhulupirira

Ngati mwatchulidwa kuti ndinu 'wosasangalatsa' muubwenzi, mwina simuli odzidalira. Ngati nthawi zonse mumawononga maganizo a mnzanu mwa kubweretsa zomwe mwakumana nazo nthawi iliyonse akamakuuzani nkhani yabwino, mukhoza kukhala mnzanu wosadzidalira kwambiri . Nazi zina mwa zitsanzo izi:

• Atha kukhala okondwa chifukwa cha kukwezedwa komwe ali nako, koma mumangokhalira kukokera m'nkhani yakale chifukwa chake mumakhumudwa ndi momwe amayesera kukopana ndi mnzanu.
• Akufuna kupita kokadya nkhomaliro Lamlungu, koma inu mwaletsa, kunena kuti nthawi yomaliza yomwe mudatuluka, munadwalapo poizoni m'zakudya.
• Mumakonzeratu zinthu pasadakhale chifukwa mumadandaula kwambiri kuti zinthu sizikuyenda bwino. Chifukwa chake, kukhazikika kwamasiku odzidzimutsa ndi mapulani oyenda mwadzidzidzi kwapita

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Kalembedwe Kosakhazikika Paubwenzi: Zifukwa & Momwe Mungagonjetsere

16. Mumabisa zakukhosi kwanu

Kusadzidalira kungapangitsenso munthu kuchita manyazi ndi maganizo ndi malingaliro ake omwe amaopa kuwalankhula. Ngati muli ndi nkhawa muubwenzi wanu, mungavutike kumasuka ndi mnzanu chifukwa choopa kuti: 

• Woweruzidwa
• Kusekedwa
• Kunyozedwa

Kapena mwina chifukwa chakuti mumtima mwanu mukudziwa kuti kusadzidalira kwanu kuli ndi maziko, ndipo maganizo monga akuti, “Ndikudziwa kuti chibwenzi changa chimandikonda koma ndimadziona kuti ndine wosatetezeka,” amakuzungulirani.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Zizindikiro 23 za Kusokonezeka Maganizo Mu Ubwenzi

17. Mumayesa kuwafanizira kwambiri

Ngati anzanu nthawi zambiri amadabwa momwe inu ndi mnzanu mumachitira zinthu komanso momwe mumaonekera mofanana , mwina chifukwa chakuti mukuwonetsa mnzanuyo kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti kuwonetsa munthuyo ngati munthu ndi chinthu chachibadwa komanso chosakonzekera mukamakonda munthu kwambiri, pamene kuli kopitirira muyeso komanso mwadala, kungakhale chizindikiro chosangalatsa anthu ndipo kumasonyeza kusadzidalira kwanu kapena mantha anu oti muwataye. Nazi zizindikiro zingapo zomwe mukuwonetsa munthuyo ngati munthu wofanana kwambiri:

• Mumayamba kumvetsera, ndiko kuti, nthawi zambiri mumabwereza zomwe mnzanu wanena, nthawi zambiri m'mawu anuanu
• Nthawi zambiri mumayang'ana manja awo, kaimidwe, ndi machitidwe awo
• Mumatengeranso malingaliro awo pazandale kapena pazachikhalidwe cha anthu, kusonyeza kuti mulibe munthu payekhapayekha

18. Mumadzimvera chisoni

Kodi mumadzimva kuti ndinu wodzimvera chisoni komanso wodzidzudzula? Kodi nthawi zambiri mumakhala okhumudwa komanso odandaula? Kodi nthawi zonse mumadziona ngati wozunzidwa? Izi zimadziwikanso kuti 'maganizo ozunzidwa'. Izi zitha kukhala zotopetsa kwambiri kwa mnzanu ndipo ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zomveka bwino za kusadzidalira muubwenzi. Nazi zizindikiro zina zosonyeza kuti ndinu wozunzidwa:

• Mukuwona kuti dziko likutsutsana nanu ndipo aliyense akufuna kukupezani
• Nthawi zambiri mumakumbukira zinthu zakale zomwe munakuberedwa kapena kuchitiridwa nkhanza
• Simumaganiziranso malingaliro ena pofotokoza zochitika zomwe mwavulazidwa kapena kuzunzidwa
• Mukamalankhula ndi mnzanu kapena anthu ena, nthawi zambiri mumafotokoza zachisoni kapena zomvetsa chisoni zomwe mwakumana nazo
• Mumapikisana nawo nthawi zambiri malinga ndi kuchuluka kwachisoni kapena kusagwirizana komwe mumawonetsa m'nkhani zanu.

Momwe Mnzanu Wosatetezeka Amawonongera Ubale - Nkhani Yake 

Kuti timvetsetse zotsatira za kusatetezeka paubwenzi, tiyeni tiwone nkhani yomwe wowerenga amagawana, ndikufunsa mmodzi wa akatswiri athu amisala kuti atithandize. Wowerenga waku US uyu, yemwe watopa chifukwa chochita ndi mnzake wosatetezeka, akulemba kuti: "Ndangolowa kumene ntchito yatsopano nditachita bizinesi ndi mkwatibwi wanga wazaka 11 chifukwa tidakumana ndi mavuto azachuma. Sitinasiyidwe ndi chisankho koma kupita kukapeza zofunika pamoyo ndikusiya bizinesi yathu. kosatha tsiku ndi tsiku.

"Ndimazindikira kuti nayenso akukumana ndi mavuto azachuma, komanso kuti sanazolowere kuti ndimagwira ntchito popanda iye. Ndinamufotokozera mwachikondi komanso modekha koma talimbananso ndi izi nthawi zambiri. Sindikufuna kulimbana kwambiri ngakhale ndimakhala chete ndikunyalanyaza zomwe akunena zokhudza zovala zanga, kusiya bizinesi yapakhomo, ndi zina zotero. Khalidwe lake limawononga thanzi lathu komanso moyo wathu. kuchita? 

Pa izi, Deepak akuti, "Kusintha n'kovuta koma kosapeweka. Kusintha kulikonse kosayembekezereka kapena kosafunikira kungayambitse mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya kusakhazikika mwa ife. Muyenera kuyesetsa kumvetsetsa chomwe chimayambitsa khalidweli. Osati kuti mukhululukire khalidwe la mnzanuyo koma kuti akuthandizeni kuti musatengere nokha kulephera kwake kuthana ndi mavuto amisala omwe kusinthaku kwa moyo kwabweretsa.

“Langizo langa lokuthandizani kudziŵa mmene mungachitire ndi kusadzisungika m’chibwenzi lingakhale loti musalole malingaliro a mwamuna wanu kukukhumudwitsani.” Mwinamwake, ngati adziŵa bwino lomwe malo anu antchito ndi antchito anzanu, angakhale womasuka ndi inu potuluka.

"Kuti muchite izi, pali zinthu zingapo zomwe mungayesere: 

• Mutengereni kuntchito kwanu kamodzi kuti awone chilengedwe ndi anthu omwe mumagwira nawo ntchito
• Itanani osankhidwa ochepa a anthu kunyumba kuti amwe khofi ndikumulola kuti azicheza nawo. 
• Mwina ngakhale konzani tsiku losangalatsa lawiri ndi banja lina la ku ofesi.

"Izi ziyenera kuchitidwa kuti zithetse mantha ake ndi kusatetezeka kwake kusiyana ndi zomwe adachita kuti amuthandize kuchoka kumbuyo kwanu. Cholinga ndi cholinga cha zolinga ndizofunika kwambiri. Zidzakuthandizani kuthana ndi zotsatira za kuyesa, zilizonse zomwe zingakhale.

Malangizo 5 a Momwe Mungathanirane ndi Kusatetezeka mu Ubwenzi

Kumbukirani zomwe tidanena, cholinga chomaliza chatsatanetsatane wakusatetezeka uku ndikukuthandizani kumvetsetsa momwe mungadzithandizire paubwenzi ndikupanga ubale wabwino ndi mnzanu. Kuti izi zitheke, tiyeni tiwone momwe tingathanirane ndi kusatetezeka muubwenzi:  

1. Muziganizira kwambiri za kudzikonda

Ulendo wofufuza momwe mungakhalire osatetezeka muubwenzi uyenera kulunjika mkati. Muyenera kuyesetsa kudzisamalira nokha ndi mavuto anu kuti musiye kuwonetsa kusatetezeka kwa mnzanu. Njira yabwino yochitira izi ndikulimbikitsa kudzikonda.

• Siyani kudziuza nokha za mwayi ndi zochitika zopindulitsa zomwe zingakuthandizeni kukula
• Limbikitsani kulankhula bwino nokha ndipo dzilimbikitseni kuchita bwino kuti muchite bwino malinga ndi luso lanu osati chifukwa cha mnzanu.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo 21 a Ubale kwa Akazi

2. Kulankhulana mogwira mtima komanso momasuka

Mnzanu ayenera kudziwa momwe mukumvera asanakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka. Pachifukwa ichi, muyenera kudziwa bwino kulankhulana momasuka komanso kogwira mtima komwe kumakupatsani mwayi wofotokoza zosowa zanu, zokhumba zanu, ndi zomwe mukufuna, popanda kudziteteza kapena kudzudzula. Izi zithandiza kuchepetsa nkhawa zambiri, ndipo mudzayamba kudzimva kuti ndinu okhazikika muubwenzi.

3. Lekani kuganiza mopambanitsa

N'zosavuta kuimba mlandu mnzanu chifukwa cha kusadzidalira kwanu, ndi kunena kuti, “Mkazi/chibwenzi/chibwenzi changa chimandipangitsa kudzimva wosatetezeka”. Koma tengani kaye kaye kuganizira ngati zilidi choncho kapena mukulola kuganiza mopitirira muyeso kuwononga ubale wanu?

Yesetsani kusiya chizolowezi choganizira zinthu zazing'ono mopitirira muyeso. 

• Kusalandira yankho mwachangu kuchokera kwa mnzanu sikungakhale mapeto a dziko
• Angakhale akukumana ndi mavuto ambiri kuntchito kapena sangakhale ndi maganizo oyenera oti akutumizireni uthenga
• Musamafufuze mopitirira muyeso popanda umboni womveka, makamaka ngati mnzanu ali ndi chifukwa chofotokozera

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Malangizo a Ubwenzi kwa Amuna - Malangizo 23 Othandiza Ochokera kwa Katswiri

4. Muzikhulupirirana

“Chibwenzi changa chimandipangitsa kumva kuti ndine wosatetezeka nthawi zonse.” “Chibwenzi changa chimandivutitsa ndi kusadzidalira kwanga.” “Ndimamva kuti ndine wosatetezeka ndi mwamuna/mkazi wanga.” Maganizo amenewa amachokera ku kusakhulupirirana. Choncho, yesetsani kulimbitsa maziko a chidaliro muubwenzi wanu, zidzakuthandizani kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka. Mutha kuchita izi mwa: 

• Kugwira ntchito pa mavuto anu a ubale
• kolowera ziyembekezo zenizeni
• Ndipo kukhazikitsa malire olimba a ubale 

5. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri

Kudziwa momwe mungathanirane ndi kusadzidalira muubwenzi kungakhale kovuta ngati muchita nokha. Koma chithandizo chamankhwala chingakhale chida chothandiza kwambiri pokuthandizani: 

• Dziwani zomwe zimayambitsa vutoli
• Gwirani ntchito kudzera mwa iwo
• Ndipo m'malo mwa machitidwe osathandiza ndi omwe ali ndi thanzi labwino

Ngati mwatopa ndi kusadzidalira komwe kukulepheretsani kupanga ubale wokhalitsa, ganizirani zopempha thandizo kwa katswiri wa zaumoyo wamaganizo. Pachifukwa ichi, akatswiri aluso komanso odziwa bwino ntchito omwe ali pagulu la Bonobology nthawi zonse amakhala nanu.

Mafunso Ofunsidwa Kawirikawiri

Maganizo Final

Kusatetezeka kungakhale njira yoyipa kwambiri yomwe imatha kuwononga chipale chofewa ndikuwononga ngakhale maubwenzi odalirika. Zonse zimachokera ku kudzikayikira komanso nkhani zina zozama. Choncho, ngati nthawi zonse mukuda nkhawa kuti mnzanuyo akhoza kukusiyani, musanayese kukonza wokondedwa wanu ndi njira zawo, yang'anani mkati mwanu ndikudzichiritsa nokha. 

Kumbukirani, ngati munthu akufuna kuchoka, palibe chomwe chingawapangitse kukhala. Mwinamwake, ndi bwino kuika mphamvu zanu pa zinthu zomwe mungathe kuzilamulira, monga kukulitsa kudzidalira kwanu ndi kudzidalira. Ndi njira yokhayo yopezera munthu woyenera ndi kumanga naye ubale wokhalitsa.

Kudzimva Kusokonekera mu Ubale: Zifukwa, Zizindikiro, Njira Zochitira

8 Mantha Wamba Mu Ubale - Malangizo a Katswiri Kuti Mugonjetse

Njira 15 Zomwe Timakankhira Chikondi Kutali Osazindikira Ngakhale

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.