“Sindikukhulupirira kuti anachitadi zimenezo. "N'chifukwa chiyani waseka zomwe ndavala lero?" "N'chifukwa chiyani amakhala ndi zonse? Ndimagwira ntchito molimbika kuposa iye!" Anagulanso galimoto yatsopano? Tonse takhala tikusilira kupambana kwa wina, kuweruza molakwika anzathu komanso kukhala osasangalala ndi katundu wa anzathu. Chizolowezi kapena kudziyesa nokha kapena mnzanu motsutsana ndi anthu ena ndi zochitika zimatchedwa "msampha woyerekeza".
N’chifukwa chiyani anthu amadziyerekezera ndi ena? Kodi sitiyenera kukondwerera wina ndi mnzake chifukwa cha zomwe tili? Kuyerekeza pakati pa moyo wanu kapena ubale wanu ndi munthu wina kumangowononga inu ndi mnzanuyo kwambiri. Monga akunena, "Udzu nthawi zonse umakhala wobiriwira mbali inayo." Ziribe kanthu kuti ndinu ndani, moyo wa munthu wina udzakhala wosangalatsa kwa inu ngati simukukhutira mkati.
Zitha kusokoneza kudzidalira kwanu komanso maubwenzi anu, kuphatikizapo zachikondi. Mukangoyamba kufananitsa koyipa kwa momwe mnzanuyo akuzungulirani motsutsana ndi momwe wakale wanu analiri, mwatsegula kale bokosi la Pandora. Ndiye, tingaleke bwanji kulimbana ndi kufananiza? Chifukwa chiyani zimachitika poyamba? Tiyeni tifufuze.
Msampha Wofananiza
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Mukawona wina akupeza ndalama zambiri kuposa momwe mumaganizira pofika pano, mukamawona wina ali ndi zokonda zambiri komanso otsatira ambiri pazakudya zawo zapa TV, kapena mukamva za momwe mnzanu adangopezera ntchito yopindulitsa yomwe mwakhala mukutsatira, ndi chikhalidwe chaumunthu kutembenukira kubiriwira ndi kaduka.
Ngakhale kuti zinthu zina zomwe ena achita zingatilimbikitse kuchita bwino, nthawi zambiri zimayenderana ndi nsanje - komanso kufananiza kosayenera. Cholakwika chilichonse chomwe mwaona mwa inu chimakula, ndipo mungayambe kukayikira kufunika kwanu. Msampha woterewu si chinthu chomwe anthu ena amakumana nacho, tonse timayamikira anzathu pantchito zawo zatsopano zopindulitsa pamene tikuganiza kuti, "Ndikuchita chiyani ndi moyo wanga?"
Polankhula pankhaniyi, Dr. Aman Bhonsle adauza kale Bonobology momwe msampha wofananitsa wapa media ungakhudzire maubwenzi anu. "Mukuwona ma akaunti a Instagram a banja lodziwika bwino, ndi otsatira awo onse ndipo mwadzidzidzi amakhala "zolinga zaubale." Mabanja ochezera a vlogging nthawi zonse amawoneka okondwa, akumwetulira kutali ndi mavuto awo onse padziko lapansi.
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"Amakhala moyo wawo ku la-la land, akukweza nkhani kuchokera ku magombe a Greece ndi Cancun, osasamala mosalabadira za humdrum yomwe tikuwoneka kuti tikudutsamo. Tonse tikudziwa kuti moyo weniweni suwoneka ngati choncho. Masiku ena mwatopa, masiku ena mumakhala okwiya. Masiku ena simukumva makamaka zamwano kapena zachikondi, mumawonera makanema pafupipafupi.
"Ubale pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kwenikweni ndi ubale pa ma steroid. Chovala chowala, chomwe chimayikidwa pa mbale kuti mudye, chimakonzedwa bwino ndikusinthidwa kuti chikhale chokoma kwambiri. Zotsatira zake, moyo wathu wabwinobwino umanyozedwa, timakhala ndi mavuto okhulupirirana komanso nsanje ndipo ziyembekezo zathu zimakhala zosatheka."
Tikukhala m'dziko lokonda kwambiri maudindo, ndipo malo ochezera a pa Intaneti akuyenera kukulitsa kuyerekezera komwe timapanga ndi omwe amatizungulira. Timayesa kufananiza nthawi zathu zoyipa kwambiri ndi zowunikira zabwino kwambiri zomwe zimasokoneza malingaliro athu. Kudziyerekeza kwapamwamba, pamene tidziyerekezera tokha ndi munthu wina amene timamuona kuti ndi wamkulu, tingathe kutisiya ndi chinyengo cha ukulu, kapena nkhani zazikulu za kudzidalira.
Msampha woyerekeza ndi wosavuta kugweramo, ndichifukwa chake anthu ambiri amavutika nawo. Tiyeni tiyese kumvetsetsa zomwe tingachite kuti titulukemo, kuti tisamayerekezere okondedwa athu ndi zitsanzo zolimbitsa thupi zomwe timawona pa Instagram.
Kodi mudakhala mumsampha woyerekeza? Nazi Zomwe Mungachite Pankhani Izi
Ngati timamvadi kuti tapeza mnzathu wa moyo komanso kuti sangafanane ndi wina aliyense kapena chilichonse, n’chifukwa chiyani timagwera mumsampha wongoyerekezera zinthu zolakwika nthawi zonse? Kodi tonsefe tili ndi mawaya kuti tiyang'ane anthu momwe timafunira kusankha kugula diresi kapena nsapato?
Potsirizira pake timatopa ndi “nsapato zangwiro”, sichoncho? Ndiye, kodi timatopa nawonso anzathu? Mayankho a mafunso amenewa si ophweka monga momwe tingafunira kuti akhale. Kuyerekeza anthu, komabe, ndikosavuta komanso kosavuta. Chomwe chimakhala chovuta ndikuchotsa chizolowezichi.
Ziribe kanthu momwe sitingafune, tikhoza kugwera mumsampha wofananitsa ndi anthu ndikufanizira okondedwa athu ndi anthu akale, kapena anthu omwe timawawona pa intaneti. Monga momwe Theodore Roosevelt ananenera, “Kuyerekeza ndi mbala ya chisangalalo.” Ngati mukupeza kuti mukukakamira mumsampha wofananiza, nazi zomwe mungachite kuti muthane nazo m'njira yoyenera:
1. Ganizirani za kupita patsogolo kwanu
Mukukumana ndi mnzanu wakale pa msonkhano wa kusukulu. Ali ndi thupi labwino kwambiri, mwamuna wolemera ali naye pafupi, ndipo akuwoneka ngati sanakule tsiku lililonse kuyambira nthawi yomaliza yomwe mudamuwona pa phwando la ukwati. Ali ndi chilichonse chomwe mwamuna angafune mwa mkazi . Choyamba chomwe mungachite ndi kudziyerekeza ndi iye.
Anthu amayerekezerana poona zimene zili pamwamba. Zomwe mukuwona mwina ndizowona. M’malo modziyerekezera ndi anthu oipa, ganizirani kwambiri za kupita patsogolo kwanu. Aliyense ali ndi ulendo wake. Ganizilani izi, m’malo motengela maganizo oipa amenewa mozikidwa pa zimene mukuloledwa kuziona zokhudza munthu, bwanji osangodziganizila nokha? M’malo mochita nsanje, sangalalani ndi kukula kwake ndipo yamikirani kupita kwanu patsogolo.
2. Landirani umunthu wanu komanso kusiyanasiyana kwa ubale wanu
Kaya mwagwera mumsampha wofananiza woweruza mnzanu kapena wekha, tengani kamphindi kuti muime, lingalirani za mphamvu zanu ndikuvomereza kuti munthu aliyense ndi ubale ndi wapadera. Makhalidwe anu ndi mphamvu zanu zimakukonzekeretsani kuchita zinthu zomwe zingasiyane ndi anzanu.
Kungoti akuwoneka ngati okwatirana omwe samamenyana, sizikutanthauza kuti ubale wawo ndi "wabwino" kuposa wanu. Ubale uliwonse ndi wosiyana, ndipo kulimbana ndi kufananiza pazifukwa zosamveka bwino zotere ndiko kuyesa kopanda phindu kufotokoza kudzidalira kwanu.
Kuyerekeza kuti moyo wa wina ndi wabwino kuposa wanu ndi dzenje la kalulu lomwe simukufuna kutsika (pokhapokha ngati mukufuna kukhala moyo weniweni Alice Mu Wonderland). Ndiwe munthu wako ndipo kuyerekeza anthu ndi iwe mwini ndi malingaliro oipa omwe amalepheretsa kukula.
3. Lemekezani nthawi yanu
Mphamvu ndi nthawi zomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito poyerekezera anthu zingagwiritsidwe ntchito m'njira yopindulitsa kwambiri. Mudzakankhidwira ku msampha woyerekeza ndipo mudzachoka pa zolinga zanu ndi zolinga zanu. M'malo mowononga nthawi yanu pochita nsanje ndi galimoto yatsopano yokongola ya mnansi wanu ndikuiyerekeza ndi galimoto yanu, lowani nawo chisangalalo chawo ndikupita nawo paulendo wautali. Tsopano, kodi si bwino kwambiri kuposa kuganizira kwambiri za yemwe ali bwino ndi amene sali bwino?
4. Yesetsani kuyamikira
Mukamadziyerekezera ndi anthu ena, mumayang’ana anthu amene mumawaona kuti ndi apamwamba ndipo mumawayerekezera ndi iwowo. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, ena angakhale akutemberera mwayi wawo, akumalakalaka atakhala ndi zomwe mukuchita panopa. Mfundo ndi yakuti, patulani nthawi yoyamikira zomwe muli nazo kale, ndipo mudzafanizira kufananiza m'njira zosiyanasiyana.
Khalani oyamikira chifukwa cha maubwenzi osangalala, abwino omwe mwakulitsa ndi kuwasunga. Khalani oyamikira chifukwa cha zinthu zonse zomwe muli nazo, m'malo mopeza chifukwa chochepetsera zinthu zomwe mulibe. Mwachidule, “Ndikuthokoza chifukwa cha munthu amene ndili komanso zimene ndili nazo” kungakhale kokwanira kulimbana ndi zimene mukukumana nazo.
5. Msampha wofananitsa ukhoza kutsekedwa ndi kudzikuza
Mukavomereza momwe mumaonekera, mumadzikonda nokha chifukwa cha zomwe muli, komanso pamene mumakonda umunthu wanu, mudzavomereza kuti ndinu apadera. Zotsatira zake, simudzakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri ndi zomwe ena amabweretsa patebulo, chifukwa mumakhutira ndi zomwe mumapereka.
Kuti mudzilimbikitse kudzidalira , muyenera kuletsa munthu amene akukutsutsani mkati mwanu. Maganizo monga, “Simuli bwino mokwanira, mudzalephera”, “Simudzaoneka ngati iye,” ayenera kulowedwa m'malo ndi, “Muli ndi mphamvu zoposa zomwe mukudziwa” kapena “Mmene mumaonekera ndi zodabwitsa komanso zapadera kwa inu”.
N'chifukwa Chiyani Anthu Amadziyerekezera ndi Ena?
Tikukhala m’gulu limene limatiphunzitsa kuweruza aliyense ndi chilichonse chimene timakumana nacho. Mukangoyenda mumsewu, mlendo wokongola akhoza kukumwetulirani, ndikukupangitsani kumva ngati kuti ndinu dzuwa, mwezi, ndi chilengedwe - ndiyeno mnzanuyo mwadzidzidzi amalira, ndikusokoneza maloto anu. Mwadzidzidzi, mumadziyerekezera ndi mnzanu wangwiro ndi mlendo amene munamuona ndi kuphethira kwa diso chabe.
Funso lomwe muyenera kufunsa kuti mumasule nokha ku msampha wofananitsa ndi losavuta - mungafanizire bwanji moyo wanu wonse kapena ubale wanu ndi gawo la moyo wa munthu wina? Mudzapeza kuti kusakhutira kwamkati nthawi zonse kumayambitsa kuyerekezera. Kodi mfundo ya kufananitsa kumeneku ndi yotani pamene zenizeni zanu ndizosiyana kotheratu ndi zawo? Zowona sizikhala zokongola nthawi zonse koma ndizofunikira, sichoncho? Osachepera, ndi zomwe timadziwuza tokha.
Pali mwambi wina wotchuka, "Mawonekedwe nthawi zambiri amapusitsa." Komabe, anthu amagwa pa zomwe amawona popanda kuyembekezera kuyang'ana kuseri kwa chinsalu chaulemerero. Ngati pali chipwirikiti kumbuyo kwa sewero lokongola kwambiri mu zisudzo za moyo, zimayamba ndi malingaliro ovuta aumunthu. Payenera kukhala zambiri kuposa zomwe zimakumana ndi maso. Kuyerekeza pakati pa kupambana, katundu wakuthupi, mabwenzi ndi moyo ndizofala kwambiri chifukwa timaphunzitsidwa kukhala mumpikisano wokhazikika. Koma tangoganizani, simukuyenera kukhala.
Kuyerekeza kolakwika ndikupha pang'onopang'ono kwa anthu. M’malo mochitirana nsanje, n’chifukwa chiyani sitingasangalale kuti tapambana? Kodi zimenezo sizokhutiritsa kwambiri kuposa kudzimva wopanda pake pokhala mumsampha wofananiza? Chinthu choyamba chokhudza kumasuka ndicho kukhala ndi maganizo osaweruza. Kumbukirani, mumatanthauzira ubale wanu ndi zomwe mumayendera pamoyo wanu.
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Mwina, tiyenera kusiya kudziweruza tokha kaye ndikuyamba kuphatikiza anthu omwe timawakonda munjira yakusaweruza. Pamene mukufananiza, yesetsani kukhala bwino kuposa munthu amene munali dzulo. Kuti tipewe kudziyerekezera ndi anzathu, tiyenera kupewa kudziyerekezera ndi anzathu. Munthu amene angafotokoze chimwemwe kwa inu ndi INU.
Ngati tiyamba kuyang'ana okondedwa athu monga anthu omwe amaganiza, kupuma, ndi kugwira ntchito popanda ife, kapena ena, mwinamwake tidzapeza kuti mmodzi yekha amene tiyenera kuwafanizira ndi omwe anali m'mbuyomo, momwe amatichitira ife tsopano ndi momwe iwo adzakhalire m'tsogolomu. Momwemonso, m'malo modziyerekeza nokha ndi anthu, dziyerekezeni nokha ndi matembenuzidwe am'mbuyomu. Anthu si nsapato zomwe zingathe kusinthidwa ndi chovala chilichonse. Iwo ndi anthu paokha. Iwo ndi apadera. Ndipo izo zikuphatikiza inu.
Ibibazo
Kupatulapo kuti ndikuwononga mphamvu zanu, kudzifananiza nokha ndi ena kumabweretsa kumera kwa nsanje, kudziimba mlandu, manyazi, ndi zina zambiri. Zitha kuwononga thanzi lanu lamalingaliro ndikukhudza moyo wanu. Ilinso ndi lingaliro loyipa chifukwa limakutsitsani paulendo wanu wopita ku zolinga ndi maloto anu.
Ganizirani zamphamvu zanu, khulupirirani nokha ndikumanga malingaliro osaweruza. Zindikirani kuti zomwe mukudzifananiza nazo mwina ndi chikuto chabe cha buku lonse la moyo wa munthu. Ndipo monga izo zinanenedwa, “Musamaweruze konse bukhu ndi chikuto chake.”
Mukayerekeza moyo wanu ndi zidutswa za munthu wina, mudzakulitsa zofooka zanu ndikudzidzudzula nokha. Izi zingachititse kuti munthu ayambe kudziona kuti ndi wolakwika komanso kuti samadziona ngati wosafunika. Zotsatira zake, ubale wanu wapakati pamunthu ndi wamunthu ukhoza kusokonekera.
Pomvetsetsa kuti zomwe mukuwona ndizofunika kwambiri pamoyo wamunthu, mutha kuletsa kufananitsa kwapa media. Njira zina ndi monga kudzikuza, kuchepetsa nthawi yanu pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kapena kuchotsa zinthu zomwe zingakuchititseni kuti musamakumane nazo.
Kuyerekeza chikhalidwe ndi pamene ife kudziyerekezera tokha wina ndi mzake zochokera mbiri yathu chikhalidwe TV amene nthawi zambiri mokokomeza Baibulo la moyo wa munthu.
Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.
Esmu tik priecīga, ka pat nespēju izteikt laimi savā sirdī. Burvestības autotors, kuru satiku tiešsaistē un kura e-pasta adrese ir ( [email protected] ), man izteica atkalapvienošanās mīlestības burvestību. Un tā patiešām nostrādāja, redzot savu bijušo vīru atgriezušos mājās un atceļot šķiršanos.