Kupeza zizindikiro zosakanikirana muubwenzi kungakulepheretseni kusokoneza ubongo wanu kwa masiku angapo, kuyesera kuti mudziwe zomwe muyenera kuchita. Koma mukakhala amene simukutsimikiza pachibwenzi, kupeza mayankho kudzera m'maganizo kungakhale ntchito yosatheka.
Tsiku lina mumamva chikondi chonse padziko lapansi kwa munthu uyu, lotsatira simungavutike kuyankha mawu. Mukayamba kuwona mikhalidwe yabwino ndikudzitsimikizira kuti mwina mumakondadi, munthu wina amabwera m'moyo wanu, ndikukusiyani ndikufunsa kuti, "Bwanji ngati?"
Kusunga munthu pa mbedza pamene inu mukumverera wosatsimikiza mu ubwenzi si zinachitikira zabwino kwa aliyense. Talemba zomwe mungachite ngati simukudziwa momwe mukumvera, kotero palibe amene amasiyidwa "kuwonedwa".
Dzifunseni Mafunso 19 Awa Ngati Simukutsimikiza Paubwenzi
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Mukawona wokondedwa wanu akudya kutumphuka kwa pizza, aliyense nthawi yomweyo amakayikira kuti ali pachibwenzi. Ngati pitsa ili ndi chinanazi, palibenso malo okayikira - yambani kulongedza!
Kupatula nthabwala, kusatsimikiza muubwenzi wa nthawi yayitali kungakukhudzeni nonse awiri. Ngakhale kuti ndi zachilendo kusatsimikiza poyamba paubwenzi, kukhala ndi kukayikira kosalekeza mutakhala pachibwenzi kwa kanthawi kungakupangitseni kusagona tulo usiku wonse.
Mwina simumasangalala ndi okondedwa wanu monga momwe ena amachitira, kapena mumamva ngati simungathe kukhala nokha pamaso pa munthuyu. Pamene simuli otsimikiza za ubwenzi, mwayi, mudzaona nokha maganizo kubwerera kunja inu n'komwe ngakhale kuzindikira chimene chikuchitika. Kodi mungakonde kugona ndi anzanu kapena okondedwa anu?
Mwinanso mungamve chisoni chifukwa chokhala ndi maganizo amenewa, koma pamene simukutsimikiza za chibwenzi, chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachite ndikupeza yankho la vuto lanu poyang'ana mkati. Mafunso 19 otsatirawa ayenera kuchita chinyengo. Ndipo ngati ndi chibwenzi/chibwenzi chako chomwe sadziwa za chibwenzi, mutha kuwatumizira nkhaniyi kuti iwathandize kufulumizitsa zisankho zawo. Chifukwa chake, tulutsani cholembera chanu ndi cholembera, ndipo konzekerani kuyankha mafunso ovuta:
1. "Kodi ndine wokondwa?"
Kuyambira ndi chachikulu, dzifunseni ngati ndinu okondwa. Osati ndi komwe muli pantchito yanu (palibe amene amasangalala nazo) koma ndi ubale wanu. Dzifunseni mafunso monga, "Kodi ubalewu umandisangalatsa?" "Kodi ndimasangalala ndikawona mnzanga?", "Kodi ndimapeza chisangalalo chenicheni?" Chabwino, mwina osati yomaliza, pokhapokha ngati mukufuna kukhalapo pakati pa tsiku.
Ndikofunikiranso kuzindikira kuti chimwemwe chimakhala chokhazikika. Zomwe zimakuchitirani muubwenzi wanu sizingagwire ntchito kwa wina, choncho ndibwino kuti musayang'ane zomwe ena akuzungulirani akuchita. Mwina funso lofunika kwambiri limene mungadzifunse ngati simukutsimikiza za chibwenzi ndi mmene chimakukhudzirani. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, ipangitsa mpira kugwedezeka pamafunso otsatirawa.
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2. "Kodi ndikulolera zinazake za mnzanga?"
Pali kusiyana mu ubale uliwonse, inu awiri simudzawona diso ndi diso pa chirichonse. Ngakhale kuti kusiyana kwina kunganyalanyazidwe mosavuta (monga kutafuna mokweza), ena angakupangitseni kuganizira maziko a ubale wanu (monga mkhalidwe wopanda ulemu).
Mutha kukhala ndi kusiyana pazandale, malingaliro osiyanasiyana pamutu wofunikira, kapena zizolowezi zovuta. Ngati simukutsimikiza za momwe mukumvera kwa wina koma mukupezabe kuti kutengeka mtima kwanu kukukulirakulirani, kuvomereza mbendera zofiira muubwenziwu kudzakuthandizani. Ngati pali chinachake chimene mukuchinyalanyaza, muyenera kusiya kuchita zimenezo ndikukhala ndi mpikisano wongoyang'ana nacho.
3. “Kodi mnzanga ndi wabwino kwa ine?
Maubwenzi abwino kwambiri ndi omwe onse awiri amakankhira wina ndi mnzake kuti akhale okondana kwambiri. Pamene simukudziwa za chibwenzi, ganizirani ngati mnzanuyo wakhala ndi zotsatira zabwino pa moyo wanu ndipo akupitiriza kutero. Ndipo ayi, bwenzi lanu limapereka bilu nthawi zonse pamene inu nonse mutuluka si chikoka chabwino.
Pa flipside, ngati bwenzi lanu kapena bwenzi sali wotsimikiza za ubwenzi, inu simuli kwenikweni adzawaona nawo nawo ndondomeko ya inu kukhala munthu wabwino. Poona momwe inu nonse mukuyenderana bwino, mudzatha kuwunikanso momwe mumasangalalira wina ndi mnzake.
4. “Kodi moyo wanga ukanakhala wotani popanda munthu ameneyu?”
Ngati simukutsimikiza muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali, mwina ndi nthawi yoganizira momwe moyo wanu ungawonekere popanda bwenzi lanu. Kodi mukuwona kuti moyo wanu ukusintha kukhala wabwino kapena woyipa?
Mukayamba kuganiza kuti simungathe kuchotsa maganizo amenewa m'maganizo mwanu, mwina ndi chizindikiro choti muyenera kupuma pang'ono muubwenzi wanu . Kupuma pang'ono kudzakuthandizani kudziwa bwino ngati moyo wanu uli bwino ndi munthu ameneyu kapena ayi. Zizindikiro zosiya kusuta zikatha, mutha kuyamba kuwunika ubale wanu ndi maganizo abwino.
5. “Kodi zosoŵa zanga zazikulu zikukwaniritsidwa?”
Aliyense ali ndi ziyembekezo zina kuchokera paubwenzi, zina zomwe sizingasokonezedwe. Kwa anthu ambiri, kumva kuti akumvedwa ndi chinthu chofunikira kwambiri chomwe chiyenera kukwaniritsidwa.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati ndinu wamkulu pa chikondi chakuthupi ndipo mukuwona kuti zosowa zanu zanyalanyazidwa kwa nthawi yayitali, mutha kudzikayikira mwadzidzidzi za ubale wanu. Komabe, sichinthu cholimbikitsa kukambirana zomwezo sizingathetse.
Dzifunseni nokha ngati zomwe mukufuna kuchokera pachibwenzi zikukwaniritsidwa. Komabe, ngati zosowa zanu zikuphatikiza zinthu zopusa monga momwe mnzanuyo amakhalira limodzi m'chiuno ndi inu, ndipo nonse mukuchita zonse 'palimodzi', muyenera kuyesetsa kumvetsetsa momwe maubwenzi amagwirira ntchito.
6. “N’chifukwa chiyani sindikutsimikiza za ubwenzi umenewu?”
Pamene mudakhala pansi kuyesa kufufuza zomwe mukufuna, yesetsani kuganizira chifukwa chake mukumva izi poyamba. Mwina zilibe chochita ndi mnzanuyo ndipo mukungokumana ndi zovuta m'moyo wanu.
Mwina ndinu munthu wokonda kudzipereka , mwina mukungosokonezeka ndi komwe muli m'moyo wanu kapena mwina mwazindikira kuti maubwenzi si okhawo omwe ali osokonekera. Yang'anani ngati pali china chake m'moyo wanu chomwe chingakusokonezeni ndi ubale wanu ndi zomwe mungachite.
7. "Kodi mnzanga akupeza zomwe akufuna?"
Ndikosavuta kuti mnzanuyo asakhutire pachibwenzi. Ngati simukudziwa kuti muli pachibwenzi, kufunsa mnzanuyo ngati zosowa zawo zikukwaniritsidwa kukupatsani lingaliro labwino la momwe mulili wabwino / oyipa ngati banja.
Mkhalidwe wovomerezeka wokhawo womwe palibe zosowa za aliyense zomwe zikukwaniritsidwa ndi pamene muli pachilumba chopanda anthu. Osati pamene muli pachibwenzi. Ngati mukuyesera kudziwa ngati bwenzi lanu kapena chibwenzi chanu sakudziwa za chibwenzi chanu, njira yabwino yochitira zimenezi ndi kuwafunsa. Ngati yankho lawo silinali momwe mumafunira, mwina tsopano mukumveka bwino za momwe zinthu zilili mumayendedwe anu.
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8. “Kodi ndi kangati pamene ndimadzikayikira?
Aliyense, ndipo tikutanthauza aliyense, nthawi zina amakhala ndi kukayikira za ubale wawo. Pambuyo pa ndewu yoopsa yomwe imathera ndi inu nonse awiri mukutsekerezana, palibe china chilichonse chomwe mumaganiza kupatula momwe mumafunira kuti simunali pachibwenzi. Komabe, pamapeto pake, malingaliro amenewo amatha.
Ngati simukutsimikiza za kumverera kwa wina mukamamenyana kamodzi kokha mwezi wa buluu, pezani chitonthozo podziwa kuti momwemonso wina aliyense. Ngati mukukhala ndi malingaliro awa tsiku lililonse, ndiye chifukwa cha mantha, tinganene.
9. “Kodi pali chinachake chimene ndimakonda pa mnzanga?”
Monga momwe mungakhalire ndi chinthu chomwe mukulekerera, pakhoza kukhala zinthu zambiri zomwe mumakonda mwa mnzanu. Komabe, choyamba, muyenera kudzifunsa kuti, “ Kodi ndimakonda kapena ndikukonda ?” Kukonda kwambiri kudzakupangitsani kukhulupirira kuti mumakondadi zinthu zambiri zokhudza mnzanuyo ndipo mudzangonyalanyaza zinthu zomwe simukonda.
Dzifunseni ngati mumakondadi zinthu zina za mnzanuyo komanso ngati zimaposa zomwe mukuwoneka kuti "mukulekerera". Mwanjira ina, monga kupanga mndandanda wa zabwino ndi zoyipa. Izo zimagwira ntchito nthawi zonse!
10. "Kodi pali tsogolo pano?"
Ngati simukudziwa za kuyambitsa chibwenzi, kapena ngakhale mutakhala kuti simukutsimikiza muubwenzi wautali, kuganiza ngati zolinga zanu zamtsogolo zimagwirizana nthawi zambiri zidzakupatsani yankho. Mwina mukufuna moyo wabwino wakumidzi, ndi galu waubweya akuthamanga kuseri kwa nyumba yanu. Koma ngati wokondedwa wanu sangadziwone akukhala pamalo amodzi kwa masiku opitilira 17.5, mungafunike kuunikanso ubalewo.
Zoonadi, chitsanzocho chinali chonyanyira pang’ono. Koma pamene zolinga zanu zamtsogolo sizikugwirizana kwenikweni, kodi ndi bwino kumangokhalira kukakamira kuti mudziwe kuti nonse mudzakhala bwanji?
11. “Kodi maganizo anga akuvutika chifukwa cha ubwenzi umenewu?”
Chosangalatsa n’chakuti m’zaka zaposachedwapa, nkhani za thanzi la maganizo zasiya kukhala nkhani yachipongwe n’kuyamba kukambirana momasuka. Anthu tsopano akuzindikira kuti thanzi la maganizo n’lofunika mofanana ndi thanzi lakuthupi. Ngakhale kuti n'zachibadwa kukayikira kumayambiriro kwa chibwenzi, ngati mukupitirizabe kumverera motere miyezi ingapo chifukwa thanzi lanu la maganizo lili pachiwopsezo, pangakhale chifukwa chodera nkhawa.
Ngati mukuona kuti thanzi lanu la maganizo lakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi mnzanu kapena chibwenzi chanu, ndi nthawi yoti muganizirenso zopitiliza izi. Simuyenera kuyika pachiwopsezo thanzi lanu kuti mupitirize kukhalabe muubwenzi woopsa.
12. "Kodi ndewu zathu timazikwanitsa mokhwima bwanji?"
Jared anati: “Ndinayamba kuona kuti mtsikana amene ndinali naye pachibwenzi ankakayikira za ubwenzi wathu, pamene ndewu zikapitirira masiku angapo.” Zinali ngati kuti sitinapeze njira zothetsera mavutowo, ndipo m’zokambirana zonse zinkangowonjezereka.
Ngati kuthetsa kusamvana muubwenzi wanu kukufanana ndi inu kutsekereza wina ndi mzake pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti kwa masiku angapo, zikhoza kugwiritsa ntchito ntchito ina. Kuthetsa mikangano mokhwima muubwenzi ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti musunge ulemu ndi mgwirizano.
13. “Kodi ndingasangalale ndi munthu wina?
Ngati mukudzimva mukuganiza izi, mnzanuyo angakhale akusowa chomwe mukufuna muubwenzi. Ndipo chifukwa cha kusakhutira kwanu, mungakhulupirire kuti wina adzakupatsani zomwe mukufuna. Ngati mukukayikira kwambiri ngati mungakhale osangalala ndi wina, yesani kupuma muubwenzi wanu kuti muganizire bwino.
Kusatsimikiza za momwe mumamvera pa munthu wina kumangosokoneza zinthu pakapita nthawi, choncho ndibwino kuti mubwerere mmbuyo. Tikhulupirireni, simungafune kuti izikhala zovuta kuposa momwe zilili kale.
PS: Osamaliza kuzembera mnzako. Ngati simukudziwa za chibwenzi chomwe muli nacho, muuzeni mnzanuyo musanamukhumudwitse pomunyengerera.
14. “Kodi ineyo ndine weniweni pamene ndili pa bwenzi langa?
Kodi munganene chilichonse chomwe mungafune kuti mukhale nacho pafupi ndi mnzanuyo, kapena mumalephera kuopa kuyambitsa mkangano? Ganizirani momwe mungasonyezere mnzanuyo zomwe muli. Ngati mumapewa kukhala wodzikonda ndi okondedwa wanu, mwina chitonthozo chofunikira sichinakwaniritsidwebe.
Kuti ubale ukhale wolimba, muyenera kukhala nokha kuti muonetsetse kuti mnzanuyo amakonda umunthu wanu weniweni, osati momwe mumachitira pamaso pawo. Popanda ubwenzi wapamtima, ndizomveka kuwona momwe mungamve ngati simukudziwa za chibwenzi. Ndani amafuna kuti nthawi zonse azikhala bwino pamaso pa bwenzi lake? Mwamsanga mutatulutsa ma PJs ndi "tsitsi laulesi Lamlungu", ndi bwino.
15. “Kodi timagwirizana?”
Zizindikiro zofananira pachibwenzi zimawonekera mwachibadwa ngati awiri mukugwirizana wina ndi mnzake. Popanda kukhala abwino kwa wina ndi mzake, timakayikira kuti ubale ukhoza kuyenda bwino. Nachi chitsanzo chaching’ono: Yona ndi Janet ali ndi nthabwala zofanana, ndipo amakonda kumangirira pa nthabwala zomwe wina aliyense amachita. Izi zimabweretsa mphindi zochepa zoseketsa pomwe samatha kuseka nthabwala zochepa zopusa zomwe akuchita. Kwa wina yemwe akuyang'ana kunja, zimakhala zomveka kuwona momwe awiriwa akuyendera bwino. Zikadakhala kuti m'modzi sakudziwa za ubalewo, sizingachitike.
Ngati simunaganizirepo zokhuzana, dzifunseni ngati inu ndi mnzanuyo mumagwirizanadi, kapena ngati mumangodziuza nokha chifukwa mnzanuyo adatero.
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16. “Kodi ine ndine wokonzeka kupereka nsembe kwa mnzanga?
Muubwenzi uliwonse, muyenera kupereka nsembe Lamlungu lomwe mumaganiza kuti mutha kugwiritsa ntchito 'Netflix ndikuzizira'. Nsembe zimabwera m'njira zambiri koma funso limakhala kuti mungalole bwanji kupereka.
"Ndinapeza kuti chibwenzi changa sichinali chotsimikiza za chibwenzichi chifukwa ndinamuona akusiya ulendo ndi anzake chifukwa choti ndimamufuna, mpaka iye asanakhale ndi nthawi yonditumizira uthenga. Zinali zomveka bwino zomwe ankaganiza za kulimba kwa ubale wathu pamene nthawi zonse ankaika masewera ake apakanema patsogolo kuposa ine. Pamapeto pake, titathetsa madeti ambiri, tinaganiza zosiya chibwenzicho ," Shanelle, wophunzira zomangamanga wazaka 19, anatiuza.
Ndikovuta kupereka mwachisomo nthawi yanu kuti muthandize mnzanu yemwe akufunika thandizo, koma ngati simukufuna kutero, mutha kukhala ndi yankho ku funso lomwe lakhala likuvutitsani.
17. “Kodi ndikuyesera ‘kukonza’ mnzanga?”
Nthawi zambiri mu maubwenzi, timaganiza kuti titha kusintha china chake chokhudza munthu winayo, kuti agwirizane ndi ife. Ngakhale mukuwona izi ngati "kukonza" mnzanuyo, angaone ngati kuphwanya ulemu kwakukulu.
Mwinamwake muli ndi vuto ndi zolinga zawo za ntchito, kapena simukukonda momwe iwo samachitira masewera mofanana ndi inu. Pamene zikhumbo izi kusintha mmene mnzanuyo ali anakumana ndi kukaniza, mukhoza kumva mwadzidzidzi otsimikiza za ubwenzi wanu.
Ganizirani ngati mukuyembekezera kuti wokondedwa wanu asinthe mwanjira ina iliyonse, kuti akhale 'abwino' kwa inu. Mwayi ndikuti chinthu chokhacho chomwe chiti chisinthe ndi momwe ubale wanu uliri!
18. "Kodi zomwe tikuyembekezera kwa wina ndi mzake zimagwirizana?"
Funso lina lomwe limayesa kulimba kwa ubale wanu, kudziwa momwe awirinu mumakhalira bwino. Kusamalira ziyembekezo muubwenzi kungakhale kovuta. Makamaka ngati mmodzi wa inu sakudziwa bwino nkhani yonse.
Mwachitsanzo, ngati bwenzi lanu silikudziwa za chibwenzicho, mwina wataya mtima kwambiri asanakuuzeni kuti wakhumudwa. Zoyembekeza zake kuchokera kwa inu, chifukwa chake, zingakhale zochepa. Ndipo pamene sayembekezera zambiri kuchokera kwa inu, simudzamuwona akuyesera kuyesetsa mwamtundu uliwonse. Ngati mnzako sakudziwa za ubalewo, pamakhala zosemphana ndi ziyembekezo.
Mukuyembekezera kuti wokondedwa wanu azikuyimbirani katatu tsiku lililonse? Kodi mnzanuyo akuyembekeza kuti mupereke nthawi yanu yaulere kwa iwo? Onani ngati pali kusiyana kwakukulu pazomwe mukuyembekezera kuchokera kwa wina ndi mnzake.
19. “Kodi pali kubwezerananso?
Ngati nonse mumagwira ntchito limodzi kukonza mavuto muubwenzi wanu, zitha kungotsimikizira kuti pakhoza kukhala chogwirizira. Koma ngati muwona kuyesayesa kolakwika kukuchitidwa muubwenzi, kudziona kuti simunatsimikize paubwenzi kuli koyenera.
Mukadziwa kuchuluka kwa khama lomwe mwachita muubwenzi wanu , mudzatha kudziwa ngati pali tsogolo lenileni kapena ayi. Chomwe chikufunika ndichakuti munthu m'modzi atenge ubalewo ngati wosafunika kwenikweni usanayambe kuvunda kuchokera mkati.
Mukakhala osatsimikiza paubwenzi, chinthu chabwino kwambiri chomwe mungachite ndikusintha malingaliro anu mwachangu pazomwe mukufuna. Kuyandama ndi malingaliro osokonezeka kumakusiyani "kuyenda ndikuyenda", zomwe nsomba zakufa nthawi zambiri zimachita.
Ndife otsimikiza kuti mukayankha mafunso awa moona mtima (mawu osafunikira: moona mtima), mudzatha kuganiza za tsogolo lanu ndi mnzanu.
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