Nanga titakuuzani kuti munayamba kukondana ndi mwamuna wanu wonyozeka chifukwa cha makhalidwe omwe mumamunyoza masiku ano? Zinthu monga chidaliro, kulimba mtima, ndi magnetism, zomwe zimakopa kwambiri mwa okondedwa, zimatha kukulitsa kudzikonda, kudzikonda, komanso kunyengerera. Ichi ndichifukwa chake nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kuwona mbendera zofiira pamachitidwe a narcissist mu magawo oyamba a ubale.
Koma mwanjira ina kapena imzake, mwazindikira kuti mwina mwachitiridwa nkhanza-mamuna khadi, kunena mofatsa. Ndipo tsopano mukuyesera kutsimikizira ngati zovuta zomwe mukukumana nazo muubwenzi wanu zitha kufotokozedwa m'mawu, kuyeza - ndipo mwachiyembekezo - kuthetsedwa. Kuzindikira zizindikiro za mwamuna wa narcissistic nthawi zambiri kumakhala sitepe yoyamba paulendowu, ndikutsatiridwa ndi njira zothandizira anthu otere.
Tili ndi katswiri wazamisala Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), katswiri woyang'anira za jenda ndi ubale, kuti afotokozere za mikhalidwe yakale ya munthu wankhanza, zizindikiro zodziwikiratu zamakhalidwe ake ovuta, komanso malangizo oti apulumuke mwamuna wankhanza.
Kodi Narcissist Ndi Ndani?
M'ndandanda wazopezekamo
Dr. Ramani Durvasula, mlembi wa buku lina anati: “Wogwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo ali ngati chidebe chobowola pansi. Ndiyenera Kukhala Kapena Ndipite: Momwe Mungapulumukire Ubale ndi Narcissist. Kwa zaka zingapo zapitazi, pakhala pali chidwi kwambiri pakati pa akatswiri a zamaganizo pa narcissism. Narcissistic Personality Disorder imatengedwa ngati vuto lalikulu la umunthu. Baibulo la Psychologists, Buku Lophatikiza ndi Kuwerenga kwa Mavuto a Mitsempha (DSM-5), akufotokoza zizolowezi za narcissistic motere:
- Kudziona kukhala wofunika kwambiri
- Miyezo yapamwamba ya kupambana, mphamvu, kukongola
- Chikhulupiriro chakuti iwo ndi "apadera"
- Kufuna kusimikiridwa mopambanitsa
- Kudzimva kuti ndinu woyenera
- Kutha kudyera masuku pamutu ndikupezerapo mwayi pa ena
- Kupanda chifundo
- Kusirira ena, kapena chikhulupiriro chakuti ena amawachitira nsanje
- Kudzikuza, makhalidwe odzikuza, ndi maganizo
Kufotokozera uku ndikotopetsa kuwerenga, osasiya kukhala ndi moyo. Ingoganizirani kuyang'ana momwe mungachitire ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wa narcissist nokha! Mwamuna wamwano mwina sangakhale wankhanza kapena wankhanza kwa inu, koma kufunikira kwake kwa chisamaliro nthawi zonse kumatha kukuwopsyezani, monga momwe mumachitira. yenda pa zipolopolo za mazira mozungulira iye mosalekeza.
Zotsatira za kukwatiwa ndi narcissist ndikuti chidaliro chanu chikhoza kugunda pamene mukuwongolera mphamvu zanu zonse pakuwongolera kusatetezeka kwake. Kuzindikira kolondola kwa NPD kutha kuperekedwa kokha ndi akatswiri azamisala, koma zizindikiro zotsatirazi zamwamuna zidzakupatsani lingaliro labwino kwambiri la zomwe mukulimbana nazo.
Zizindikiro Zamwamuna Wa Narcissistic
Ngakhale kuti ali ndi nkhope yodzidalira, amuna okondana nthawi zambiri sakhala osangalala mkati mwake, ndipo kukhala ndi mwamuna wankhanza kumakhala ndi zovuta zake. Amalimbana ndi kupita patsogolo kwa ena chifukwa cha mpikisano, nsanje, kudzidalira, komanso KUWIRIRA KWAMBIRI. katundu wamalingaliro. Zizindikiro za mwamuna wa narcissist ndizoti amatha kumva ngati chilango chenicheni, popeza wina wawo wamkulu amawona ubale wawo wachikondi ukugwera mu ngalande tsiku ndi tsiku.
Jaseena akufotokoza, "Kukwatiwa ndi narcissist kumatanthawuza kuthana ndi zomwe akuwonetsa, kuyatsa gasi, kuphulitsa kwachikondi, ndi zina zambiri. Zimakhala zosokoneza kuthana ndi chisokonezo ichi ndipo mutha kudabwa, "Kodi ndikulakwitsa kwinakwake? Kapena ndi wamatsenga?" Kukhala ndi narcissist kwa mwamuna kumafuna kuti mupite kunkhondo wokonzeka kwathunthu Musanaphunzire momwe mungatsekere narcissist, mufuna kudziwa zomwe mukukumana nazo apa.
1. Ayenera kulamulira
Ichi ndi chizindikiro chodziwika bwino cha mwamuna wa narcissistic. Adzaumirira kukhala ndi mawu otsiriza nthawi zonse. Sangaganize kawiri asanachotse mapulani kapena kupanga zatsopano popanda kukufunsani. Zinthu ZIYENERA kupita momwe iye akufunira apo ayi adzagwa mpaka kalekale. Mwamuna yemwe ali ndi narcissist ali ndi luso lodabwitsa lopanga zonse zokhudza iyemwini. Izi zitha kumupangitsa kuti aziwongolera zinthu zazing'ono. Chofunikira ichi chofuna kulamulira nthawi zonse ndikupereka kwakufa ndikuwonetsa kuti akuyesera kukhala kulamulira mu ubale.
Jaseena anati: “Kukhala wolamulira ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoyambirira.” Ndi “njira yanga kapena msewu waukulu.” Muubwenzi wabwino, okwatirana onse amakwaniritsa zofuna za wina ndi mnzake.
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2. Amakuikani pansi
Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mukuchita ndi narcissist? Adzalankhula nanu monyozeka, nthawi zambiri ndikuyamikira / kuyamikira. Zidzakhala zoonekeratu kuti samakulemekezani. Nthawi zina, amayesa kutengera zomwe mwakwaniritsa. Nawa mawu apamwamba - "Onani momwe mwachita bwino motsogozedwa ndi ine."
Kwenikweni, chirichonse chimene mukuchita bwino ndi chifukwa cha iye; Chilichonse chimene amachita molakwika ndi chifukwa cha inu. Anayiwala makiyi agalimoto potuluka? “Bwanji simunandikumbutse kuti ndiwanyamule?” ndicho chinthu choyamba chotuluka mkamwa mwake. Kodi nthawi zambiri mumadandaula kuti, "Mwamuna wanga wa narcissist amandiimba mlandu pa chilichonse!"? Chabwino, simuli nokha! Chifukwa munthu wa narcissist nthawi zonse amapeza njira yakuimba mlandu, ndikusiya kudzidalira kwanu kukhala kopanda pake.
3. Ndiwokongola komanso wokonda zachiwerewere
Inde, ichi chikhoza kumveka ngati khalidwe labwino koma kwenikweni ndi chizolowezi chosokoneza. Ndichifukwa chakuti munthu wamwano amakhala ndi chidaliro chochuluka mwa iye yekha; ali ndi chithumwa ndipo mphamvu zake zimatha kukhala zazikulu chemistry yogonana. Koma, ndikuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi chabe. Njira zake zosalala zimatha kutayika pakapita nthawi. Chidwi chimatha ndipo umamuwona momwe alili, munthu wodzikuza.
Mchitidwe wa narcissist uwu ukhoza kumasulira mosavuta kwa mwamuna wachinyengo wachinyengo, kumene amayesa kudzikweza yekha kupyolera mu kugonana ndi anthu ena. Taganizirani izi ngati chimodzi mwazinthu zobisika kwambiri za ubale wa narcissistic.
4. Thandizo ndilosankha
Mungamve ngati akuimiriranidi. Zedi, iye akhoza. Koma nthawi zina - zomwe zimamuwonetsa bwino. Adzabwera ku chakudya chanu chamadzulo, osati chifukwa amakunyadirani koma kuti athe kukopa ena. Mawu omwe mukuyang'ana ndi oti "odzikonda" ndipo khalidweli ndilofala kwambiri mwa munthu wamatsenga. Zimakhala zovuta kuchita ndi mwamuna wamwano chifukwa amalolera kuchita khama bola zotsatira zake zili zabwino.
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5. Ali ndi malingaliro oyenera
Kuphunzira momwe mungakhalire ndi mwamuna wa narcissist ndikungoyang'ana momwe mwamunayo ali ndi ufulu komanso kusakuganizirani. M'dziko lake la "Ine, ine, ndi ine ndekha", amayembekeza kuti musinthe malinga ndi zomwe amakonda komanso zomwe amakonda. Kodi akufuna kukutengerani kunja kuti mukadye? Mwayi wake, idzakhala malo odyera omwe amakonda, zakudya zomwe amakonda, komanso nthawi yomwe ili yabwino kwa iye. Anu masiku achikondi aphimbidwa ndi kudzikuza kwake. Kunyalanyaza kosalekeza kwa zosowa zanu, zomwe mukufuna, ndi zokhumba zanu ndizowona kuti mwakwatiwa ndi munthu wamba.
Jaseena akufotokoza kuti: “Akazi nthaŵi zonse amadzimva ngati ali pachiwopsezo chaukwati woterowo.” Chifukwa chakuti amuna oterowo amakhala otsimikiza kwambiri za malo awo muukwati wawo, zimawapangitsa kukhala ndi malingaliro oyenerera, kutanthauza kuti maganizo a mwamuna kapena mkazi wake sakulingaliridwanso.
6. Amakonda kukambirana… za iye mwini
"Mwamuna wanga amapanga chilichonse chokhudza iye!" Zikumveka bwino? Mwamuna wanu amamvetsera mavuto anu koma amawafotokozera za iye mwini. Amakonda kukopa chidwi cha khamulo, koma kuti adzitamandira pazochita zake popanda kulabadira kapena kuyamika za wina aliyense. Mumamva kuti simunamvepo pachibwenzi chifukwa sakukonda kapena kukhudzidwa ndi moyo wanu. Nthawi zina akamakumverani, pamakhala “mwamuna wankhanza wopanda chifundo” wodziwika bwino. Iye amamukonda kwambiri, ndipo palibe zambiri zomwe mungachite.
7. Sakwaniritsa malonjezo ake
Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zodziwika bwino za narcissistic: sasunga malonjezo ake kwa inu. Chimodzi mwazotsatira zazikulu za narcissism kwa okwatirana ndikuti mumamva kuti ndinu wosafunika. Sizingakhale dala, koma iye samaganiza kuti ndi nkhani yaikulu. Kuti adzimve bwino, adzakulonjezani mwezi. Koma ikafika nthawi yoti achitepo kanthu, amabwerera m'mbuyo.
Chizindikiro chodziwika bwino chamwamuna wa narcissistic chikhoza kupanga nkhani za trust m’banja. Kusatsatira malonjezo mobwerezabwereza kumakhala ndi zotsatirapo zazikulu ndipo kungayambitse kusweka kwenikweni kwa maubwenzi. Mungakhale mukudziwotcha nokha, ngati, ngakhale mutayimilira kangapo, munganenebe kuti, "Kodi mwamuna wanga ndi wamatsenga kapena wodzikonda?"
8. Mavuto anu amawonedwa kudzera mu prism yake
Tinene kuti mukukumana ndi zovuta m'moyo - kuchotsedwa ntchito, kutaya wokondedwa, kapena zochitika zochititsa manyazi zokhudzana ndi wachibale kapena mnzanu. Mukufunika chithandizo mumkhalidwe woterewu, koma mwamuna wanu amachita chiyani? Amadabwa kuti zidzakhudza bwanji mbiri yake kapena moyo wake. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mwamuna wanu ndi wodzikonda.
Ngakhale mayankho ake angayesedwe mwa kufuna kwake. Kukuyikani inu poyamba si pazantchito zake. Ndipo popeza kuchita ndi mnzako wongokhalira kuchita zachiwawa sikungakhale kofunikira kwenikweni ngati ndiwe amene akufunika thandizo, zidzayambitsa mikangano yambiri. Umu ndi m'mene narcissism ndi maubwenzi zimakhalira njira yodzikwaniritsa yoyipa.
9. Malingaliro a ena ndi ofunika kwa iye
Popeza kuti munthu wonyada amafunikira kuvomerezedwa kwambiri ndi ena, sangayamikire kusankha kwanu kapena malingaliro anu pankhaniyo. Kupatula apo, muli kale m'thumba ndipo sakufunikanso kuti akusangalatseni. Khalidweli ndi gawo la nkhanza zomwe amakukondani pomwe wakutayani ndikuchita mosiyana ndi inu kuseri kwa zitseko zotsekedwa. Kumbali ina, zimam’khudza zimene anansi, mabwana, mabwenzi, kapena mabwenzi amaganiza.
Zokonda zokomera anthu za amuna anu ziyenera kuti zidakuvutitsani nthawi ina. Jaseena anati: “Adzafunafuna chitsimikiziro kwa anthu ocheza nawo.” Zimenezi n’zosonkhetsa kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wake chifukwa kaŵirikaŵiri zoyesayesa zake sizimakhudza ukwatiwo. kunyalanyazidwa mwamaganizo pamene cholinga cha mnzawo wamwano chili pa kugonjetsa ena.”
10. Mwamuna wamwano amapikisana nawe
Ngati mwakwatiwa ndi mwamuna wa narcissist, izi zidzamveka bwino! Kukhala m'banja ndi mnzako wa moyo wankhanza kungakhale kovuta ngati nonse muli mu ntchito imodzi. Kapena choipa kwambiri, mu ofesi yomweyo. Kuchitira nsanje wokondedwa wanu pamene akuchita chinachake chimene mwakhala mukuyesera kuchita kwa nthawi yayitali kungakhale kwachibadwa.
Koma moyo wokhala ndi mwamuna wankhanza udzamuphatikiza kuti azichita zinthu moyenera nthawi iliyonse mukakwaniritsa zinazake. Chikhumbo chimenechi cha kupambana mpikisano mwinamwake chiri mfundo ya mkangano m’banja lanu; ukapeza promotion koma iye sakupeza, Mulungu akuthandizeni. Angafike mpaka kufika pogwiritsira ntchito udindo wake wa kuntchito kuti awononge chipambano chanu. Mukudabwabe, kodi iye ndi narcissist?
11. Narcissist nsomba kuti akayamikire
Ngakhale kudzidalira kungakhale chimodzi mwa makhalidwe oipa, sukulu ya maganizo imasonyeza kuti iwo "amawonekera" kukhala odzidalira. Chitsanzo chowonekera bwino cha khalidwe lachiwerewere muubwenzi ndi ngati sapeza chisamaliro chokwanira, amachifuna. Ndipo nthawi zambiri, amagwiritsa ntchito anthu ena - nthawi zambiri omwe amakhala ofatsa kapena ogonjera - kuwapatsa chitsimikiziro chofunikira kuti adzilemekeze.
Mnyamata wa narcissist amapanga chilichonse chokhudza iye ndipo nthawi zonse amayang'ana kuti abweretse zokambiranazo kuti azisangalala ndi mawonekedwe. Ichi ndichifukwa chake simuyenera kudyetsa egos awo ndi matamando. A kupanda chidwi kupanga narcissist womvetsa chisoni nthawi yomweyo.
12. Akufuna kukhala ndi mawu omaliza pakukangana
A munthu amene akuganiza kuti sangachite cholakwika chilichonse amatchedwa ... mwamuna wanu? Zizolowezi za Narcissistic za okwatirana zimawapangitsa kuti azikhala ndi mawu omaliza pamakangano aliwonse. Ndewu ndi gawo la ubale uliwonse. Koma kukangana ndi mwamuna wamwano ndi ntchito yopanda pake. Popeza amakonda kumveka kwa mawu ake, nthawi zambiri sangalole kuti mumvepo kanthu. Ndewuyo imakhala yodzikuza ndipo kuthetsa mikangano kumatuluka. Sizingatheke kumupangitsa kuti amvetsetse malingaliro anu chifukwa akulimbana kuti "apambane", osati kuthetsa vuto.
Jaseena anafotokoza kuti: “Kukhala ndi munthu wosuta n’kovuta kwambiri, chifukwa ndi munthu amene savomereza kuti analakwa, n’kochepa kwambiri moti n’kovuta kuwathetsa. Ngati mwamuna wanu ali wotanganidwa ndi kupambana mikangano - zazikulu ndi zazing'ono - ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti mukuchita ndi narcissist.
13. Alibe anzake ambiri
Ngati muli ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wankhanza, mudzawona momwe amapezera mabwenzi abwino. Dzifunseni ngati mwamuna wanu ali ndi mabwenzi abwino. Mwina ayi. Ndipo zotsatira za kukwatiwa ndi narcissist zimakupangitsani kuti musamayanjanenso ndi anu.
Narcissists ali ndi anzawo omwe amatha kucheza nawo kapena omwe amadyetsa egos awo. Ichi ndichifukwa chake narcissist amavutika kuti apitirize kulumikizana kwa nthawi yayitali. Pamapeto pake, anthu amasiya kuwasangalatsa, motero amatopa nawo. Amafuna kuti anthu azikonda, koma sangakondenso anthu - izi ndi mfundo ziwiri!
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14. Khalani okonzeka kufufuzidwa kwambiri
Poyambirira, momwe amakupangirani zingawoneke ngati nthabwala. Koma posakhalitsa mumazindikira kuti n’zosatheka kulankhula ndi mwamuna wamwano chifukwa amangoseka chilichonse chimene mukunena kapena kuchita. Zingakhale zovuta kukhala ndi munthu amene amadziona kuti ndi nthabwala koma, kwenikweni, amagwiritsa ntchito nthabwala ngati chida chochepetsera inu, ndipo kwenikweni ndi nthabwala. chizindikiro cha ubale wosayenera.
Amangokhalira kunyoza, ndipo sadziwa kuti akukupwetekani. Munthu wina akamaseka maonekedwe anu, nthawi zonse zimasokoneza kudzidalira kwanu. Zotsatira zake, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kukhala ndi mwamuna wamwano, makamaka ngati mawu achipongwe ndi kutukwana kotereku kumachokera kumalo odzikuza.
15. Amakuphwetsani;
Popeza kuti anthu amene amalankhula narcissists amakunyengererani, angagwiritse ntchito mitundu yonse yachipongwe cha mawu ndi mawu achipongwe kuti akuchititseni kudziona ngati wosatetezeka, wosadzidalira, ndiponso wokayikira. Anu narcissistic ofunika ena adzatembenuza magome pa inu pamene inu kulankhula nkhawa zanu. Adzakuimbani mlandu pavutoli, kusokoneza malingaliro anu, ndikusewera wozunzidwayo. Adzakupatsani chithandizo chachete ngati chikufunika.
Jaseena anati: “Kuyatsa gasi ndi mtundu wina waukali, munthu wongogwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo amangoika mkazi wake pamalopo n’kumamuimba mlandu chifukwa cha khalidwe lake. mawu a gaslight monga, "Izi zidachitika chifukwa mudapanga XYZ" kapena "Mulibe wina womuimba mlandu koma inu nokha".
16. Akulimbana ndi kudzipereka
Kuchokera pamakhalidwe apamwamba a amuna a narcissist, muyenera kuti mwazindikira. Nanga ndidati chiyani za anthu oti anyozetsa anthu? Ukwati ndi mlingo wapamwamba kwambiri wa kudzipereka kumene zinthu sizikhala nthawi zonse dzuwa ndi utawaleza. Mgwirizanowu umakhala ndi zigamba, mikangano, ndi kusiyana. Kugwira ntchito kupyolera mwa iwo kumafuna kuleza mtima ndi kupirira - chinachake chimene munthu wamatsenga amasowa. Pakhoza kukhala zochitika za kugonana ndi kusakhulupirika m'maganizo komanso ngati mwakwatiwa ndi munthu wamatsenga. Mwamuna wachinyengo amabera nthawi zambiri amachokera ku nkhani yake ndi kudzipereka.
17. Sadzapepesa
Kukwatiwa ndi narcissist kumatanthauza kusamumva akupepesa chifukwa cha zochita zake. Kuyankha mlandu si suti yamphamvu kwambiri ya narcissist. Banja limavutika ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi sangathe kuyankha zochita zawo. Mosadziŵa, akuwonongeratu ubwenziwo. Makhalidwe oterewa ndi omwe amapangitsa kuti pakhale zovuta zoyipa zomwe zimachitika chifukwa cha nkhanza kwa okwatirana. Izi zitha kukhala zovuta kwambiri kudziwa momwe mungakhalire ndi mwamuna wa narcissist.
18. Sadzaima chilekaniro
Ngakhale kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi zolakwa (zomwe sangavomereze), adzawopsyeza ngati mutachitapo kanthu kuti muchoke kwa iye. Umunthu wake, kufunikira kwake kuwonetsera chithunzi cha moyo wosilira kwa ena, ndi kusowa kwake wina woti agwirizane nazo zonse zimathandizira kuti iye atsutse kwambiri lingaliro la chisudzulo. Ngati mulankhula zakulekanitsa, adzasuntha kumwamba ndi dziko lapansi kuti akubwezereninso. Ndipo mudzapeza njira yowopsa komanso yochuluka kwambiri yotchedwa narcissistic hoovering. Njira imeneyi ndi yofala kwambiri m'maubwenzi okhudzana ndi narcissist, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuzisiya.
19. Mwamuna wokonda narcissism ali ndi ego yaikulu
Zinyengo zake za ukulu ndi kudzikuza mopambanitsa mwachiwonekere kumabweretsa kudzikuza kwakukulu. Kuyesera kulikonse kuphulika kudzakumana ndi kubwezera. Mwamuna wanu amaona kuti ndi katswiri pa nkhani zambiri. Iye amadziwa bwino kwambiri ndipo anthu ayenera kumvera malangizo ake nthawi zonse.
Mulungu asalole kuti muyese kumuyesa zenizeni chifukwa iye adzakankhira mmbuyo ndi mphamvu yaikulu. Pamene mukuyenda moyo ndi mwamuna wankhanza, inu mwina simunayambe ngakhale kamodzi anamumva iye kuvomereza kuti iye akulakwitsa kapena sankadziwa kanthu za chinachake. M’maganizo mwake, iye ndi munthu wanzeru kwambiri, ndipo palibe chimene anganene chimene chingalakwitse. Uku ndiye kutanthauzira kwambiri kwa mamuna wa narcissist.
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20. Maubale ake akhala akuvuta
Lingalirolo mwina silinakufikireni pamene mudamkonda iye kapena ngakhale kumukwatira, koma khalani ndi kamphindi kuti muone chifukwa chake maubwenzi ake akale analephera. Kodi nthawi zonse amaimba mlandu abwenzi ake akale pa chilichonse chomwe chinalakwika muubwenzi wake wakale? Kodi amadziwonetsera yekha ngati wozunzidwa? M’kubwerera m’mbuyo, kodi mukuona kuti nthaŵi zonse amamveketsa ngati anasweka mtima popanda cholakwa chake? Ngati iye satenga udindo gawo lake mu ubale, ine ndikuyembekeza inu mukuona chitsanzo cha kusunthitsa mlandu Pano. Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za mwamuna wa narcissist ndi kulephera kuvomereza ndi kuvomereza zolakwa zake.
21. Munthu wokonda narcisss amakonda kupereka malangizo
Khalidwe lina lodziŵika mosavuta! Popeza amadziona ngati apamwamba kwambiri, anthu okonda zamatsenga amakonda kupereka upangiri, wopemphedwa kapena wosafunsidwa. Masenti awo awiri akufanana ndi madola awiri. Kodi mwamuna wanu nayenso amayamba kuganiza za chinachake? Kumudula mawu n’kopanda pake; njira yokhayo yotulukira ndikumulola kuti anene chidutswa chake chifukwa cha mtendere.
Kuchitcha kuti mansplaining kapena kubwebweta kosalekeza, zotsatira zake ndi zomwezo. Ndipo zomwe zimachokera, kachiwiri, ndi lingaliro lalikulu la momwe iye aliri wofunikira. Pamene mukuyesera kuthana ndi mwamuna wamwano wosamvera, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti m'maganizo mwake, palibe wina wofunika kuposa iye.
Kodi Ndingatani Ndi Mwamuna Wa Narcissistic?
Ngati mwamuna wanu akuwonetsa mikhalidwe yopitilira 10 yomwe yatchulidwa pamwambapa, ndizotheka kuti ali ndi NPD. Zingakhale zokwiyitsa pamene ming'alu ikuwonekera m'banja lanu. Banja lililonse limakhala ndi zopinga zake, koma mukakhala ndi mnzanu wamwano, zopingazo zimatha kuwoneka ngati zosatheka kuzithetsa ndipo zovutazo zimakusanjikirani. Ntchito yaing'ono kuchokera kwa nonse inu mukhoza ndithudi sunga ukwati. Monga John Gottman adanena, "Timabwereza zomwe sitikonza." Chifukwa chake, ngati mumadzifunsabe, "Momwe mungachitire ndi mwamuna wamwano", malangizo otsatirawa angakuthandizeni kuchitapo kanthu pokonzanso ubale womwe ukulakwika kwambiri:
1. Pangani chisankho ndikuwunika zomwe mukuyembekezera
Introspection ndi sitepe yoyamba yopezera momwe mungagwirire mwamuna wa narcissist. Makamaka ngati mukuchita ndi mwamuna woledzeretsa, muyenera kudziwa ngati mphamvu zanu zili zachipongwe, ndikupanga chisankho chochoka kapena kupeza thandizo lachangu, kaya kudzera mwalamulo, akatswiri azamisala, kapena abwenzi ndi abale. Dzifunseni nokha:
- Kodi ubale wanu uli kuti: wasanduka wankhanza? Kodi zikuwononga thanzi lanu kapena maganizo anu?
- Sankhani ngati mukufuna kukhalamo kwa nthawi yayitali. Kodi ndizoyenera?
- Kodi mungadzipereke kuti muyesetse kuti ukwati wanu ukhale wolimba?
Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti simungayembekeze kuchira mozizwitsa ndi mwamuna wa narcissistic. Simungayembekezere kuti agwada pansi ndi kupempha kuti akukhululukireni mutamuuza momwe wakupwetekerani. Ikhala njira yayitali, yosokonekera, yomwe ikufuna kuti mukhale oleza mtima kwambiri. NPD ndi matenda amisala osatha, ndipo kuyembekezera kutha kumangobweretsa zowawa komanso zokhumudwitsa.
Kuwerenga Kofanana: Upangiri Waubwenzi - Zonse Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa
2. Ganizirani bwinobwino
Musanalankhule ndi mwamuna wamwano, yang'anani mkhalidwe wanu moyenera. Phunzirani mwamuna wanu, sankhani mfundo zomwe akusonyeza makhalidwe omwe tawatchulawa, ndipo phunzirani kusiya. Aliyense amapangidwa ndi zomwe akumana nazo. Ganizirani zomwe zakhudza kwambiri mwamuna wanu. Kodi pali zoopsa zilizonse zomwe sizinathe? Kodi iye anali nazo makolo poizoni ndi ubwana wankhanza? Kapena kodi psyche yake ndi zotsatira za ubale woipa?
Mukatha kupeza chifukwa chake, mudzatha kumumvetsa bwino. Kuchita izi kungakuthandizeni kuteteza mphamvu zanu pamene mukumvetsa momwe zinthu zilili. Mudzafunika chifundo chachikulu pakuchita izi; kumvetsa ulendo wa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kudzakhala ntchito yovuta.
3. Lankhulani zakukhosi kwanu moyenera komanso momasuka
Mutachita zowunikira mokwanira, yesani kuyesetsa kukulitsa kulankhulana muubwenzi wanu. Zimenezi zimakhala choncho ngakhale m’banja losangalala. Pamene mukuyesera kuthana ndi mwamuna wankhanza, zimakhala zofunikira kwambiri kumudziwitsa zonse zomwe zakhala zikukuvutitsani. Mwayi wake, iye sangadziwe momwe khalidwe lake lakhudzira inu, kotero ziri kwa inu kuonetsetsa kuti akudziwa. Momwe mungachitire ndi mwamuna wa narcissist?
- Yankhani kukambirana ndi cholinga chofuna kuthetsa vutolo, osati kufuna ndewu
- Yesetsani kukhazikitsa mwamtendere zinthu zomwe zakhala zikukuvutitsani
- Onetsetsani kuti mwamupangitsa kumva
- M'malo mogwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti “Inu”, yesani kugwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti “Ine” kapena “Ife”. Mwachitsanzo, m’malo monena kuti, “Sindikumvetsa chifukwa chake mumalankhula nane choncho,” munganene kuti, “Sitikomerana mtima, sizikuchitira zabwino aliyense wa ife tikamalankhula chonchi”
4. Pewani mikangano ndi munthu wamatsenga
Nkovuta, kapena zosatheka, kutsekereza mwamuna wamwano chifukwa cha chizolowezi chake chokokomeza. Kukangana ndi mwamuna wamwano kumakhala kopanda phindu. Koma kukhala chete kuli bwino kuposa kukangana nthawi zina. Jaseena anati: “Musamafulumire kuchita zinthu mopupuluma.
Pamene mukuyesera kuti mupulumuke mwamuna wa narcissist, kutenga nawo mbali pa ndewu iliyonse yomwe amanyamula kumangopangitsa kuti muwotche komanso kuti mukhale wotopa. Sibwino kusankha kuchoka pa ndewu popeza zinthu zambiri sizingakhale zoyenera kumenyana nazo.
5. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri
Njira yothandiza kwambiri yothanirana ndi wokondedwa wa narcissist ndikudzifunira nokha uphungu. Mutha kuyesanso chithandizo cha maanja ndi sing'anga yemwe ali ndi chilolezo, mwachitsanzo ngati mnzanuyo akufuna. Popeza NPD ndi matenda amisala osatha, kuyezetsa kolondola kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo limodzi ndi CBT kapena REBT ndikofunikira kuti mnzanuyo athe kusintha momwe amakhalira. Ndiponso, ndiko kuti, ngati ali wotsegukira kwa icho.
Uphungu wa maubwenzi wathandiza maanja ambiri kukonza maubwenzi awo omwe ali ndi vuto ndikukhala moyo wokhazikika wachimwemwe. Ku Bonobology, athu gulu la alangizi odziwa ntchito komanso ochiritsa angakutsogolereni m’nthawi yovutayi m’banja mwanu, ndi kukuthandizani kuti mukhale paubwenzi wogwirizana ngati umene mwakhala mukuulakalaka.
6. Tengani nthawi yanga
Momwe mungathanirane ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wa narcissist ngati osati kulimbikitsa ubale wanu ndi inu nokha? (Zindikirani: Imeneyinso ndi chinsinsi chaubwenzi uliwonse wachikondi ndi ukwati wachimwemwe!) Mukakhala paubwenzi ndi mwamuna wamwano, zingakupangitseni kudzikayikira chifukwa chakuti nthaŵi zonse mumampangitsa kukhala wosangalala. Kuchita ndi antics ake osaganizira tsiku ndi tsiku kumakhala kotopetsa. Kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino, musaiwale kudziyika nokha patsogolo.
- Muzicheza ndi inu nokha
- Pangani zina danga lanu kwa kudzisamalira ndi kudzikonda
- Kumanani ndi anzanu, okondedwa
- Tsatirani zosangalatsa
- Dzisangalatseni ndi chinthu chopambanitsa
- Samalani thanzi lanu lakuthupi ndi lamalingaliro
7. Imirirani nokha
Ngati mwawona zizindikiro za narcissism panthawi yomwe muli pachibwenzi koma mukuganiza zokwatirana naye, ndikofunikira kuti mukhazikitse malire kuyambira pachiyambi kuti muthawe nkhanza za narcissistic. Khalani olunjika pa zomwe ziri zovomerezeka ndi zosavomerezeka. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wankhanza amasangalala kukuchititsani manyazi kapena kuchita zinthu zimene zingamupangitse kuti azioneka bwino.
Osagwa nazo. Pitirizani kumuyitana chifukwa cha khalidwe lopanda ulemu ndipo onetsetsani kuti akudziwa kuti si bwino kuyenda paliponse. Kuti mukhale ndi mtendere wamaganizidwe, zingawoneke ngati zokopa kupereka nthawi zingapo ndikudziimba mlandu - kuti nkhondoyo ithe. Koma pamene mukuchita zimenezi kwambiri, m’pamenenso amaona kuti si bwino kukusalemekezani.
Zolozera Mfungulo
- Narcissistic Personality Disorder ndi vuto lalikulu lomwe limadziwika ndi DSM-5
- Ubale wapamtima ndi munthu wankhanza utha kutha kuzunzana ndikusanduka ubale wankhanza.
- Ma narcissists onse ali ndi malingaliro odzikuza, kudzidalira, kudzikonda kwakukulu, komanso kufunikira kwa chithandizo chapadera monga zizolowezi zomwe wamba.
- Zizindikiro zamwamuna wa narcissist zimaphatikizapo kutchula mayina, kudzudzula nthawi zonse, komanso kunena zoipa mpaka kudzidalira kwanu kugwedezeka.
- Kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wamatsenga kumakhala ngati chilango ndipo kumafuna kuti muyang'ane zomwe mukuyembekezera, mukhale ndi chithandizo, monga abwenzi, achibale, ndi okondedwa ena, ndikupempha uphungu.
- Muyeneranso kuphunzira zinthu zina, monga kuyankhulana nawo bwino, kuyimirira, ndikusankha nkhondo zanu nawo.
Mu mawonekedwe ake owopsa, kukhala ndi narcissism mu maubwenzi okondana kungayambitse kuvutika maganizo kapena kudzivulaza; narcissists amadziikira zolinga zapamwamba kwambiri zomwe sangathe kuzikwaniritsa, sangathe kuthana ndi kulephera, ndipo amakhala odzikonda kwambiri osaganizira malingaliro a ena. Kukhala ndi bwenzi lachipongwe n'kovuta, koma ndibwino ngati mutayang'anira zochitikazo. Yesetsani kuchita bwino!
Ibibazo
Nthaŵi zambiri, munthu wankhanza amakwatira munthu wosiyana naye—wachifundo.
Osadyetsa ego awo. Osatenga udindo pa zofooka zawo. Musawaimbe mlandu chifukwa zimenezo zingawonjezere mkwiyo wawo. Osatenganso mlandu. Osakwiya mukamakangana.
Ngati munayambitsa chisudzulo, yembekezerani chisudzulo chovuta. Anthu a narcissistic amawona kusudzulana ngati kulephera kwa iwo. Sadzagonja mosavuta. Yesetsani kukhala odekha pamene mukukambirana. Osadziteteza kwambiri. Zidzangoyambitsa mikangano yayikulu monga anthu okondana amakonda kukangana kwabwino.
Aliyense amatha kusintha, koma kuti mwamuna wa narcissist asinthe, ayenera kuvomereza kuti ali ndi vuto. Chimenecho ndiye chopinga chachikulu pakuchitapo kanthu. Iwo samaganiza kuti akulakwitsa ndipo ayenera kusintha.
Mafunso 100 Achikondi Oti Mufunse Bwenzi Lanu Ndipo Musungunuke Mtima Wake
Zopereka zanu sizikupanga zachifundo Mphatso. Zilola kuti Bonobology ipitilize kukubweretserani zidziwitso zatsopano komanso zaposachedwa pakufuna kwathu kuthandiza aliyense padziko lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.