Zizindikiro 21 Zamwamuna Wa Narcissistic Ndi Momwe Mungapirire

Nanga titakuuzani kuti munayamba kukondana ndi mwamuna wanu wonyozeka chifukwa cha makhalidwe omwe mumamunyoza masiku ano? Zinthu monga chidaliro, kulimba mtima, ndi magnetism, zomwe zimakopa kwambiri mwa okondedwa, zimatha kukulitsa kudzikonda, kudzikonda, komanso kunyengerera. Ichi ndichifukwa chake nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kuwona mbendera zofiira pamachitidwe a narcissist mu magawo oyamba a ubale.

Koma mwanjira ina kapena imzake, mwazindikira kuti mwina mwachitiridwa nkhanza-mamuna khadi, kunena mofatsa. Ndipo tsopano mukuyesera kutsimikizira ngati zovuta zomwe mukukumana nazo muubwenzi wanu zitha kufotokozedwa m'mawu, kuyeza - ndipo mwachiyembekezo - kuthetsedwa. Kuzindikira zizindikiro za mwamuna wa narcissistic nthawi zambiri kumakhala sitepe yoyamba paulendowu, ndikutsatiridwa ndi njira zothandizira anthu otere.

Tili ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Jaseena Backer (MS Psychology), katswiri wodziwa za kugonana ndi ubale, kuti atiuze makhalidwe akale a mwamuna wodzikonda, zizindikiro zosonyeza khalidwe lake lovuta, ndi malangizo oti tipulumuke mwamuna wodzikonda.

Kodi Narcissist Ndi Ndani?

“Munthu wokonda kudzikonda ali ngati chidebe chokhala ndi dzenje pansi. Kaya muyika ndalama zingati, simungathe kuzidzaza,” akutero Dr. Ramani Durvasula, wolemba buku lakuti Should I Stay or Should I Go: How to Survive a Relationship with a Narcissist. M'zaka zingapo zapitazi, akatswiri a zamaganizo akhala akuyang'ana kwambiri kudzikonda. Narcissistic Personality Disorder imaonedwa kuti ndi vuto lalikulu la umunthu. Buku la Psychologists' Bible, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ( DSM –5 ), limafotokoza zizolowezi zokonda kudzikonda motere:

• Kudziona kukhala wofunika kwambiri
• Miyezo yapamwamba ya kupambana, mphamvu, kukongola
• Chikhulupiriro chakuti iwo ndi "apadera"
• Kufuna kusimikiridwa mopambanitsa
• Kudzimva kuti ndinu woyenera
• Kutha kudyera masuku pamutu ndikupezerapo mwayi pa ena
• Kupanda chifundo
• Kusirira ena, kapena chikhulupiriro chakuti ena amawachitira nsanje
• Kudzikuza, makhalidwe odzikuza, ndi maganizo

Kufotokozera kumeneku n'kotopetsa mokwanira kuwerenga, osatinso kukhala ndi moyo. Tangoganizirani momwe mungachitire ndi mkazi wodzikonda yekha! Mwamuna wodzikonda sangakhale wankhanza kapena wankhanza kwa inu, koma kufunikira kwake kosalekeza kungakupsetseni mtima, pamene mukuyenda momuzungulira nthawi zonse.

Zotsatira za kukwatiwa ndi narcissist ndikuti chidaliro chanu chikhoza kugunda pamene mukuwongolera mphamvu zanu zonse pakuwongolera kusatetezeka kwake. Kuzindikira kolondola kwa NPD kutha kuperekedwa kokha ndi akatswiri azamisala, koma zizindikiro zotsatirazi zamwamuna zidzakupatsani lingaliro labwino kwambiri la zomwe mukulimbana nazo.

Zizindikiro Zamwamuna Wa Narcissistic

Ngakhale kuti amuna odzikonda nthawi zambiri amakhala osasangalala mkati mwawo, ndipo kukhala ndi mwamuna wodzikonda kumakhala ndi mavuto ake. Amavutika ndi kupita patsogolo kwa ena chifukwa cha mpikisano, nsanje, kudziona kuti ndi wosafunika, komanso mavuto ambiri amaganizo . Zizindikiro za mwamuna wodzikonda zimakhala zoti amamva ngati chilango chenicheni, pamene wokondedwa wawo amaona kuti ubale wawo wachikondi ukugwa tsiku ndi tsiku.

Jaseena akufotokoza kuti, “Kukwatiwa ndi munthu wodzikonda kumatanthauza kuthana ndi malingaliro ake, kunyoza, kukondana, ndi zina zotero. Zimakhala zosokoneza kuthetsa chisokonezochi ndipo mungadzifunse kuti, “Kodi ndikulakwitsa kwinakwake? Kapena ndi munthu wodzikonda?” Kukhala ndi munthu wodzikonda kumafuna kuti muyambe nkhondo yokonzeka bwino. Musanaphunzire momwe mungaletse munthu wodzikonda, muyenera kudziwa zomwe mukukumana nazo pano. Umu ndi momwe kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu wodzikonda kumamvekera.

1. Ayenera kulamulira

Ichi ndi chizindikiro cha mwamuna wodzikonda. Adzalimbikira kuti nthawi zonse azikhala ndi mawu omaliza. Sadzaganiza kawiri asanasinthe mapulani kapena kupanga atsopano popanda kukufunsani. Zinthu ZIYENERA kuyenda momwe akufunira apo ayi adzakwiya kwambiri. Mwamuna wodzikonda ali ndi luso lodabwitsa lopanga chilichonse chokhudza iye mwini. Izi zitha kumupangitsa kuti azitha kuyang'anira zinthu pang'ono. Kufuna kulamulira nthawi zonse kumeneku ndi mphatso yopanda pake ndipo kumasonyeza kuti akuyesera kulamulira ubalewo.

Jaseena anati: “Kukhala wolamulira ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoyambirira.” Ndi “njira yanga kapena msewu waukulu.” Muubwenzi wabwino, okwatirana onse amakwaniritsa zofuna za wina ndi mnzake.

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2. Amakuikani pansi

Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati mukuchita ndi munthu wodzikonda? Adzakulankhulani monyoza, nthawi zambiri ndi mawu oyamikira/oyamikira. Zidzaonekeratu kuti sakulemekezani . Nthawi zina, adzayesa kudzitamandira chifukwa cha zomwe mwachita. Nayi mawu akale — “Onani momwe mwachitira bwino motsogozedwa ndi ine.”

Kwenikweni, chirichonse chimene mukuchita bwino ndi chifukwa cha iye; Chilichonse chimene amachita molakwika ndi chifukwa cha inu. Anayiwala makiyi agalimoto potuluka? “Bwanji simunandikumbutse kuti ndiwanyamule?” ndicho chinthu choyamba chotuluka mkamwa mwake. Kodi nthawi zambiri mumadandaula kuti, "Mwamuna wanga wa narcissist amandiimba mlandu pa chilichonse!"? Chabwino, simuli nokha! Chifukwa munthu wa narcissist nthawi zonse amapeza njira yakuimba mlandu, ndikusiya kudzidalira kwanu kukhala kopanda pake.

3. Ndiwokongola komanso wokonda zachiwerewere

Inde, izi zingamveke ngati khalidwe labwino koma kwenikweni ndi chizolowezi chodzikonda. Izi zili choncho chifukwa mwamuna wodzikonda amakhala ndi chidaliro chachikulu mwa iye mwini; amaonetsa kukongola ndipo luso lake lingapangitse kuti akhale ndi chilakolako chabwino chogonana . Koma, ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi kuti adzionetsere yekha. Njira zake zosalala zitha kusokonekera pakapita nthawi. Chidwicho chimatha ndipo mumamuwona momwe alili, munthu wodzikonda.

Mchitidwe wa narcissist uwu ukhoza kumasulira mosavuta kwa mwamuna wachinyengo wachinyengo, kumene amayesa kudzikweza yekha kupyolera mu kugonana ndi anthu ena. Taganizirani izi ngati chimodzi mwazinthu zobisika kwambiri za ubale wa narcissistic.

4. Thandizo ndilosankha

Mungamve ngati akuimiriranidi. Zedi, iye akhoza. Koma nthawi zina - zomwe zimamuwonetsa bwino. Adzabwera ku chakudya chanu chamadzulo, osati chifukwa amakunyadirani koma kuti athe kukopa ena. Mawu omwe mukuyang'ana ndi oti "odzikonda" ndipo khalidweli ndilofala kwambiri mwa munthu wamatsenga. Zimakhala zovuta kuchita ndi mwamuna wamwano chifukwa amalolera kuchita khama bola zotsatira zake zili zabwino.

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5. Ali ndi malingaliro oyenera

Kuphunzira momwe mungakhalire ndi mwamuna wodzikonda kwambiri kumadalira kwambiri kusinthasintha kwa mwamunayo kuti asamakuganizireni bwino. Mu dziko lake la "Ine, ine, ndi ine ndekha", akuyembekezera kuti musinthe malinga ndi zomwe akufuna komanso zomwe akufuna. Kodi akukonzekera kukutengerani kukadya chakudya chamadzulo? Mwina, idzakhala lesitilanti yomwe amakonda, chakudya chomwe amasangalala nacho, komanso nthawi yomwe ingamusangalatse. Maulendo anu achikondi amaphimbidwa ndi kudzikuza kwake. Kunyalanyaza zosowa zanu, zomwe mukufuna, ndi zomwe mukufuna nthawi zonse ndiko kukhala wokwatiwa ndi munthu wodzikonda kwambiri.

Jaseena akufotokoza kuti: “Akazi nthaŵi zonse amadzimva ngati ali pachiwopsezo chaukwati woterowo.” Chifukwa chakuti amuna oterowo amakhala otsimikiza kwambiri za malo awo muukwati wawo, zimawapangitsa kukhala ndi malingaliro oyenerera, kutanthauza kuti maganizo a mwamuna kapena mkazi wake sakulingaliridwanso.

6. Amakonda kukambirana… za iye mwini

"Mwamuna wanga amapanga chilichonse chokhudza iye!" Zikumveka bwino? Mwamuna wanu amamvetsera mavuto anu koma amawafotokozera za iye mwini. Amakonda kukopa chidwi cha khamulo, koma kuti adzitamandira pazochita zake popanda kulabadira kapena kuyamika za wina aliyense. Mumamva kuti simunamvepo pachibwenzi chifukwa sakukonda kapena kukhudzidwa ndi moyo wanu. Nthawi zina akamakumverani, pamakhala “mwamuna wankhanza wopanda chifundo” wodziwika bwino. Iye amamukonda kwambiri, ndipo palibe zambiri zomwe mungachite.

7. Sakwaniritsa malonjezo ake

Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zodziwika bwino za narcissistic: sasunga malonjezo ake kwa inu. Chimodzi mwazotsatira zazikulu za narcissism kwa okwatirana ndikuti mumamva kuti ndinu wosafunika. Sizingakhale dala, koma iye samaganiza kuti ndi nkhani yaikulu. Kuti adzimve bwino, adzakulonjezani mwezi. Koma ikafika nthawi yoti achitepo kanthu, amabwerera m'mbuyo.

Chizindikiro chodziwika bwino cha mwamuna wodzikonda chingayambitse mavuto muukwati. Kusatsatira malonjezo mobwerezabwereza kumakhala ndi zotsatirapo zazikulu ndipo kungayambitse kusokonekera kwa maubwenzi. Mungakhale mukudzinyoza nokha, ngati, ngakhale mutatsutsidwa kangapo, mukunenabe kuti, "Kodi mwamuna wanga ndi wodzikonda kapena ndi wodzikonda?"

8. Mavuto anu amawonedwa kudzera mu prism yake

Tinene kuti mukukumana ndi zovuta m'moyo - kuchotsedwa ntchito, kutaya wokondedwa, kapena zochitika zochititsa manyazi zokhudzana ndi wachibale kapena mnzanu. Mukufunika chithandizo mumkhalidwe woterewu, koma mwamuna wanu amachita chiyani? Amadabwa kuti zidzakhudza bwanji mbiri yake kapena moyo wake. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti mwamuna wanu ndi wodzikonda.

Ngakhale mayankho ake angayesedwe mwa kufuna kwake. Kukuyikani inu poyamba si pazantchito zake. Ndipo popeza kuchita ndi mnzako wongokhalira kuchita zachiwawa sikungakhale kofunikira kwenikweni ngati ndiwe amene akufunika thandizo, zidzayambitsa mikangano yambiri. Umu ndi m'mene narcissism ndi maubwenzi zimakhalira njira yodzikwaniritsa yoyipa.

9. Malingaliro a ena ndi ofunika kwa iye

Popeza kuti munthu wonyada amafunikira kuvomerezedwa kwambiri ndi ena, sangayamikire kusankha kwanu kapena malingaliro anu pankhaniyo. Kupatula apo, muli kale m'thumba ndipo sakufunikanso kuti akusangalatseni. Khalidweli ndi gawo la nkhanza zomwe amakukondani pomwe wakutayani ndikuchita mosiyana ndi inu kuseri kwa zitseko zotsekedwa. Kumbali ina, zimam’khudza zimene anansi, mabwana, mabwenzi, kapena mabwenzi amaganiza.

Zochita za mwamuna wanu wodzikonda zokondweretsa anthu ziyenera kuti zinakukwiyitsani nthawi ina. Jaseena akuti, "Adzafuna kutsimikiziridwa ndi anthu omwe ali nawo. Izi zikuvutitsa kwambiri kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wake chifukwa nthawi zambiri ntchito zake sizimayendetsedwa pa ukwati. Munthu amamva kuti wanyalanyazidwa kwambiri ngati mnzake wodzikonda akuyang'ana kwambiri kupambana ena."

10. Mwamuna wamwano amapikisana nawe

Ngati mwakwatiwa ndi mwamuna wa narcissist, izi zidzamveka bwino! Kukhala m'banja ndi mnzako wa moyo wankhanza kungakhale kovuta ngati nonse muli mu ntchito imodzi. Kapena choipa kwambiri, mu ofesi yomweyo. Kuchitira nsanje wokondedwa wanu pamene akuchita chinachake chimene mwakhala mukuyesera kuchita kwa nthawi yayitali kungakhale kwachibadwa.

Koma moyo wokhala ndi mwamuna wankhanza udzamuphatikiza kuti azichita zinthu moyenera nthawi iliyonse mukakwaniritsa zinazake. Chikhumbo chimenechi cha kupambana mpikisano mwinamwake chiri mfundo ya mkangano m’banja lanu; ukapeza promotion koma iye sakupeza, Mulungu akuthandizeni. Angafike mpaka kufika pogwiritsira ntchito udindo wake wa kuntchito kuti awononge chipambano chanu. Mukudabwabe, kodi iye ndi narcissist?

11. Narcissist nsomba kuti akayamikire

Ngakhale kudzidalira kungakhale chimodzi mwa makhalidwe oipa, sukulu ya maganizo imasonyeza kuti iwo "amawonekera" kukhala odzidalira. Chitsanzo chowonekera bwino cha khalidwe lachiwerewere muubwenzi ndi ngati sapeza chisamaliro chokwanira, amachifuna. Ndipo nthawi zambiri, amagwiritsa ntchito anthu ena - nthawi zambiri omwe amakhala ofatsa kapena ogonjera - kuwapatsa chitsimikiziro chofunikira kuti adzilemekeze.

Munthu wodzikonda yekha amangodzipangira chilichonse ndipo nthawi zonse amafuna kuti nkhaniyo imufike pamtima kuti asangalale ndi kutchuka. Ichi ndichifukwa chake simuyenera kuwapatsa ulemu anthu odzikuza. Kusayang'aniridwa bwino kungapangitse munthu wodzikonda kukhala wosasangalala nthawi yomweyo.

12. Akufuna kukhala ndi mawu omaliza pakukangana

Mwamuna amene akuganiza kuti sangachite choipa amatchedwa ... mwamuna wanu? Zizolowezi za mkazi wodzikonda zimamupangitsa kuti azifuna kukhala ndi mawu omaliza pa mkangano uliwonse. Ndewu ndi gawo la ubale uliwonse. Koma kukangana ndi mwamuna wodzikonda ndi chizolowezi chopanda pake. Popeza amakonda mawu ake, nthawi zambiri sangakulole kuti ulankhule. Mkanganowo umakhala nkhondo ya kudzikuza ndipo kuthetsa mikangano kumathetsa chithunzicho. N'zosatheka kumupangitsa kumvetsetsa malingaliro anu chifukwa akulimbana kuti "apambane", osati kuthetsa vuto.

Jaseena anafotokoza kuti: “Kukhala ndi munthu wosuta n’kovuta kwambiri, chifukwa ndi munthu amene savomereza kuti analakwa, n’kochepa kwambiri moti n’kovuta kuwathetsa. Ngati mwamuna wanu ali wotanganidwa ndi kupambana mikangano - zazikulu ndi zazing'ono - ichi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu kuti mukuchita ndi narcissist.

13. Alibe anzake ambiri

Ngati muli ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wankhanza, mudzawona momwe amapezera mabwenzi abwino. Dzifunseni ngati mwamuna wanu ali ndi mabwenzi abwino. Mwina ayi. Ndipo zotsatira za kukwatiwa ndi narcissist zimakupangitsani kuti musamayanjanenso ndi anu.

Narcissists ali ndi anzawo omwe amatha kucheza nawo kapena omwe amadyetsa egos awo. Ichi ndichifukwa chake narcissist amavutika kuti apitirize kulumikizana kwa nthawi yayitali. Pamapeto pake, anthu amasiya kuwasangalatsa, motero amatopa nawo. Amafuna kuti anthu azikonda, koma sangakondenso anthu - izi ndi mfundo ziwiri!

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14. Khalani okonzeka kufufuzidwa kwambiri

Poyamba, mmene amakunyozani zingaoneke ngati nthabwala. Koma posakhalitsa mumazindikira kuti n'zosatheka kulankhula ndi mwamuna wodzikonda chifukwa amaseka chilichonse chimene mumanena kapena kuchita. Zingakhale zovuta kukhala ndi munthu amene amaganiza kuti ndi woseketsa koma kwenikweni amagwiritsa ntchito nthabwala ngati chida chochepetsera ubale wanu ndipo kwenikweni ndi chizindikiro cha ubale wopanda thanzi.

Amangokhalira kunyoza, ndipo sadziwa kuti akukupwetekani. Munthu wina akamaseka maonekedwe anu, nthawi zonse zimasokoneza kudzidalira kwanu. Zotsatira zake, zimakhala zovuta kwambiri kukhala ndi mwamuna wamwano, makamaka ngati mawu achipongwe ndi kutukwana kotereku kumachokera kumalo odzikuza.

15. Amakuphwetsani;

Popeza kuti anthu amene amalankhula narcissists amakunyengererani, angagwiritse ntchito mitundu yonse yachipongwe cha mawu ndi mawu achipongwe kuti akuchititseni kudziona ngati wosatetezeka, wosadzidalira, ndiponso wokayikira. Anu narcissistic ofunika ena adzatembenuza magome pa inu pamene inu kulankhula nkhawa zanu. Adzakuimbani mlandu pavutoli, kusokoneza malingaliro anu, ndikusewera wozunzidwayo. Adzakupatsani chithandizo chachete ngati chikufunika.

Jaseena akuti, "Kunyoza ndi mtundu wa nkhanza zopanda pake. Munthu wodzikonda amapitiriza kuipitsa mkazi wake, kumuimba mlandu chifukwa cha khalidwe lake. Ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zoonekeratu zomwe mungaone. Angagwiritse ntchito mawu onyoza monga, "Izi zinachitika chifukwa munachita XYZ" kapena "Mulibe woti muimbe mlandu koma inu nokha".

16. Akulimbana ndi kudzipereka

Kuchokera pamakhalidwe apamwamba a amuna a narcissist, muyenera kuti mwazindikira. Nanga ndidati chiyani za anthu oti anyozetsa anthu? Ukwati ndi mlingo wapamwamba kwambiri wa kudzipereka kumene zinthu sizikhala nthawi zonse dzuwa ndi utawaleza. Mgwirizanowu umakhala ndi zigamba, mikangano, ndi kusiyana. Kugwira ntchito kupyolera mwa iwo kumafuna kuleza mtima ndi kupirira - chinachake chimene munthu wamatsenga amasowa. Pakhoza kukhala zochitika za kugonana ndi kusakhulupirika m'maganizo komanso ngati mwakwatiwa ndi munthu wamatsenga. Mwamuna wachinyengo amabera nthawi zambiri amachokera ku nkhani yake ndi kudzipereka.

17. Sadzapepesa

Kukwatiwa ndi narcissist kumatanthauza kusamumva akupepesa chifukwa cha zochita zake. Kuyankha mlandu si suti yamphamvu kwambiri ya narcissist. Banja limavutika ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi sangathe kuyankha zochita zawo. Mosadziŵa, akuwonongeratu ubwenziwo. Makhalidwe oterewa ndi omwe amapangitsa kuti pakhale zovuta zoyipa zomwe zimachitika chifukwa cha nkhanza kwa okwatirana. Izi zitha kukhala zovuta kwambiri kudziwa momwe mungakhalire ndi mwamuna wa narcissist.

18. Sadzaima chilekaniro

Ngakhale kuti mnzanu wodzikonda ali ndi zofooka (zomwe sadzavomereza), adzaopa kwambiri ngati mutayamba kumusiya. Kudzikuza kwake, kufunikira kwake kuwonetsa chithunzi cha moyo wabwino kwa ena, komanso kufuna kwake munthu woti agwirizane naye zonse zimamupangitsa kuti asamagwirizane ndi lingaliro la kusudzulana. Ngati mukulankhula za kulekana, adzasuntha kumwamba ndi dziko lapansi kuti zikubwezeretseni. Ndipo mudzakumana ndi njira yoopsa komanso yolemetsa yotchedwa narcissistic hoovering . Kachitidwe kameneka kamapezeka kwambiri muubwenzi wokhudza munthu wodzikonda, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kusiya.

19. Mwamuna wokonda narcissism ali ndi ego yaikulu

Zinyengo zake za ukulu ndi kudzikuza mopambanitsa mwachiwonekere kumabweretsa kudzikuza kwakukulu. Kuyesera kulikonse kuphulika kudzakumana ndi kubwezera. Mwamuna wanu amaona kuti ndi katswiri pa nkhani zambiri. Iye amadziwa bwino kwambiri ndipo anthu ayenera kumvera malangizo ake nthawi zonse.

Mulungu asalole kuti muyese kumuyesa zenizeni chifukwa iye adzakankhira mmbuyo ndi mphamvu yaikulu. Pamene mukuyenda moyo ndi mwamuna wankhanza, inu mwina simunayambe ngakhale kamodzi anamumva iye kuvomereza kuti iye akulakwitsa kapena sankadziwa kanthu za chinachake. M’maganizo mwake, iye ndi munthu wanzeru kwambiri, ndipo palibe chimene anganene chimene chingalakwitse. Uku ndiye kutanthauzira kwambiri kwa mamuna wa narcissist.

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20. Maubale ake akhala akuvuta

Mwina simunaganizepo za izi pamene munayamba kumukonda kapena kumukwatira, koma tengani kaye kuti muone chifukwa chake ubale wake wakale unalephera. Kodi nthawi zonse amaimba mlandu atsikana ake akale chifukwa cha zonse zomwe zinalakwika mu ubale wake wakale? Kodi amadzionetsa ngati wozunzidwa? Mukayang'ana mmbuyo, kodi mukuona kuti nthawi zonse amaoneka ngati wasweka mtima chifukwa cha zolakwa zake? Ngati satenga udindo pa gawo lake muubwenzi, ndikukhulupirira kuti mukuwona momwe anthu amasinthira mawu apa. Chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zodziwika bwino za mwamuna wodzikonda ndi kusatha kwake kuzindikira ndi kuvomereza zolakwa zake.

21. Munthu wokonda narcisss amakonda kupereka malangizo

Khalidwe lina lodziŵika mosavuta! Popeza amadziona ngati apamwamba kwambiri, anthu okonda zamatsenga amakonda kupereka upangiri, wopemphedwa kapena wosafunsidwa. Masenti awo awiri akufanana ndi madola awiri. Kodi mwamuna wanu nayenso amayamba kuganiza za chinachake? Kumudula mawu n’kopanda pake; njira yokhayo yotulukira ndikumulola kuti anene chidutswa chake chifukwa cha mtendere.

Kuchitcha kuti mansplaining kapena kubwebweta kosalekeza, zotsatira zake ndi zomwezo. Ndipo zomwe zimachokera, kachiwiri, ndi lingaliro lalikulu la momwe iye aliri wofunikira. Pamene mukuyesera kuthana ndi mwamuna wamwano wosamvera, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti m'maganizo mwake, palibe wina wofunika kuposa iye.

Kodi Ndingatani Ndi Mwamuna Wa Narcissistic?

Ngati mwamuna wanu akuwonetsa makhalidwe oposa 10 a kudzikonda omwe atchulidwa pamwambapa, n'zotheka kuti ali ndi NPD. Zingakwiyitse kwambiri pamene ming'alu ikuwonekera m'banja mwanu. Ukwati uliwonse uli ndi zopinga zake, koma mukakhala ndi mnzanu wodzikonda, zopingazo zingawoneke ngati zosagonjetseka ndipo zovuta zomwe zikukugwerani. Ntchito yaying'ono kuchokera kwa nonse awiri ingapulumutse ukwatiwo . Monga momwe John Gottman adanenera, "Timabwereza zomwe sitikukonza." Chifukwa chake, ngati mupitiliza kudzifunsa kuti, "Momwe mungachitire ndi mwamuna wodzikonda", malangizo otsatirawa angakuthandizeni kutenga sitepe yoyamba yokonzanso ubale wolakwika kwambiriwu:

1. Pangani chisankho ndikuwunika zomwe mukuyembekezera

Introspection ndi sitepe yoyamba yopezera momwe mungagwirire mwamuna wa narcissist. Makamaka ngati mukuchita ndi mwamuna woledzeretsa, muyenera kudziwa ngati mphamvu zanu zili zachipongwe, ndikupanga chisankho chochoka kapena kupeza thandizo lachangu, kaya kudzera mwalamulo, akatswiri azamisala, kapena abwenzi ndi abale. Dzifunseni nokha:

• Kodi ubale wanu uli kuti: wasanduka wankhanza? Kodi zikuwononga thanzi lanu kapena maganizo anu?
• Sankhani ngati mukufuna kukhalamo kwa nthawi yayitali. Kodi ndizoyenera?
• Kodi mungadzipereke kuti muyesetse kuti ukwati wanu ukhale wolimba?

Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti simungayembekeze kuchira mozizwitsa ndi mwamuna wa narcissistic. Simungayembekezere kuti agwada pansi ndi kupempha kuti akukhululukireni mutamuuza momwe wakupwetekerani. Ikhala njira yayitali, yosokonekera, yomwe ikufuna kuti mukhale oleza mtima kwambiri. NPD ndi matenda amisala osatha, ndipo kuyembekezera kutha kumangobweretsa zowawa komanso zokhumudwitsa.

Kuwerenga Kofanana: Uphungu wa Ubale - Zonse Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa

2. Ganizirani bwinobwino

Musanalankhule ndi mwamuna wodzikonda, yang'anani momwe zinthu zilili. Phunzirani mwamuna wanu, phunzirani mfundo zomwe akusonyeza makhalidwe omwe atchulidwa pamwambapa, ndipo phunzirani kudzipatula. Aliyense amapangidwa ndi zomwe akumana nazo. Yang'anani zomwe zakhudza mwamuna wanu kwambiri. Kodi pali vuto lililonse lomwe silinathetsedwe? Kodi anali ndi makolo oopsa komanso ubwana womuzunza? Kapena kodi maganizo ake ndi chifukwa cha ubale woipa?

Mukatha kupeza chifukwa chake, mudzatha kumumvetsa bwino. Kuchita izi kungakuthandizeni kuteteza mphamvu zanu pamene mukumvetsa momwe zinthu zilili. Mudzafunika chifundo chachikulu pakuchita izi; kumvetsa ulendo wa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kudzakhala ntchito yovuta.

3. Lankhulani zakukhosi kwanu moyenera komanso momasuka

Mukamaliza kudzifufuza mokwanira, yesetsani kukonza ubale wanu. Izi ndi zoona ngakhale pa banja losangalala. Mukamayesetsa kuthana ndi mwamuna wodzikonda, zimakhala zofunika kwambiri kumudziwitsa zonse zomwe zakhala zikukuvutitsani. Mwina sadzadziwa momwe khalidwe lake lakukhudzirani, choncho ndi udindo wanu kuonetsetsa kuti akudziwa. Kodi mungatani ndi mwamuna wodzikonda?

• Yankhani kukambirana ndi cholinga chofuna kuthetsa vutolo, osati kufuna ndewu
• Yesetsani kukhazikitsa mwamtendere zinthu zomwe zakhala zikukuvutitsani
• Onetsetsani kuti mwamupangitsa kumva
• M'malo mogwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti “Inu”, yesani kugwiritsa ntchito mawu akuti “Ine” kapena “Ife”. Mwachitsanzo, m’malo monena kuti, “Sindikumvetsa chifukwa chake mumalankhula nane choncho,” munganene kuti, “Sitikomerana mtima, sizikuchitira zabwino aliyense wa ife tikamalankhula chonchi”

4. Pewani mikangano ndi munthu wamatsenga

Nkovuta, kapena zosatheka, kutsekereza mwamuna wamwano chifukwa cha chizolowezi chake chokokomeza. Kukangana ndi mwamuna wamwano kumakhala kopanda phindu. Koma kukhala chete kuli bwino kuposa kukangana nthawi zina. Jaseena anati: “Musamafulumire kuchita zinthu mopupuluma.

Pamene mukuyesera kuti mupulumuke mwamuna wa narcissist, kutenga nawo mbali pa ndewu iliyonse yomwe amanyamula kumangopangitsa kuti muwotche komanso kuti mukhale wotopa. Sibwino kusankha kuchoka pa ndewu popeza zinthu zambiri sizingakhale zoyenera kumenyana nazo.

5. Funsani thandizo la akatswiri

Njira yothandiza kwambiri yothanirana ndi wokondedwa wa narcissist ndikudzifunira nokha uphungu. Mutha kuyesanso chithandizo cha maanja ndi sing'anga yemwe ali ndi chilolezo, mwachitsanzo ngati mnzanuyo akufuna. Popeza NPD ndi matenda amisala osatha, kuyezetsa kolondola kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo limodzi ndi CBT kapena REBT ndikofunikira kuti mnzanuyo athe kusintha momwe amakhalira. Ndiponso, ndiko kuti, ngati ali wotsegukira kwa icho.

Uphungu wa maubwenzi wathandiza maanja ambiri kukonza maubwenzi awo ovuta ndikukhala ndi moyo wosangalala komanso wosavuta kuwasamalira. Ku Bonobology, gulu lathu la alangizi odziwa bwino ntchito komanso akatswiri azachipatala lingakuthandizeni kudutsa nthawi yovutayi muukwati wanu, ndikukuthandizani kukhala ndi ubale wabwino ngati womwe mumaulakalaka nthawi zonse.

6. Tengani nthawi yanga

Momwe mungathanirane ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wa narcissist ngati osati kulimbikitsa ubale wanu ndi inu nokha? (Zindikirani: Imeneyinso ndi chinsinsi chaubwenzi uliwonse wachikondi ndi ukwati wachimwemwe!) Mukakhala paubwenzi ndi mwamuna wamwano, zingakupangitseni kudzikayikira chifukwa chakuti nthaŵi zonse mumampangitsa kukhala wosangalala. Kuchita ndi antics ake osaganizira tsiku ndi tsiku kumakhala kotopetsa. Kuti mukhale ndi thanzi labwino, musaiwale kudziyika nokha patsogolo.

• Muzicheza ndi inu nokha
• Pangani zina danga lanu kwa kudzisamalira ndi kudzikonda
• Kumanani ndi anzanu, okondedwa
• Tsatirani zosangalatsa
• Dzisangalatseni ndi chinthu chopambanitsa
• Samalani thanzi lanu lakuthupi ndi lamalingaliro

7. Imirirani nokha

Ngati mwawona zizindikiro za narcissism panthawi yomwe muli pachibwenzi koma mukuganiza zokwatirana naye, ndikofunikira kuti mukhazikitse malire kuyambira pachiyambi kuti muthawe nkhanza za narcissistic. Khalani olunjika pa zomwe ziri zovomerezeka ndi zosavomerezeka. Mwamuna kapena mkazi wankhanza amasangalala kukuchititsani manyazi kapena kuchita zinthu zimene zingamupangitse kuti azioneka bwino.

Osagwa nazo. Pitirizani kumuyitana chifukwa cha khalidwe lopanda ulemu ndipo onetsetsani kuti akudziwa kuti si bwino kuyenda paliponse. Kuti mukhale ndi mtendere wamaganizidwe, zingawoneke ngati zokopa kupereka nthawi zingapo ndikudziimba mlandu - kuti nkhondoyo ithe. Koma pamene mukuchita zimenezi kwambiri, m’pamenenso amaona kuti si bwino kukusalemekezani.

Mu mawonekedwe ake owopsa, kukhala ndi narcissism mu maubwenzi okondana kungayambitse kuvutika maganizo kapena kudzivulaza; narcissists amadziikira zolinga zapamwamba kwambiri zomwe sangathe kuzikwaniritsa, sangathe kuthana ndi kulephera, ndipo amakhala odzikonda kwambiri osaganizira malingaliro a ena. Kukhala ndi bwenzi lachipongwe n'kovuta, koma ndibwino ngati mutayang'anira zochitikazo. Yesetsani kuchita bwino!

Ibibazo

Kusudzula Mwamuna Wa Narcissist - Zomwe Muyenera Kudziwa

Njira 12 Zothetsera Ubale Wapoizoni

Mafunso 100 Achikondi Oti Mufunse Bwenzi Lanu Ndipo Musungunuke Mtima Wake

Chopereka chanu sichikutanthauza chopereka chachifundo . Chidzalola Bonobology kupitiliza kukubweretserani chidziwitso chatsopano komanso chaposachedwa poyesetsa kuthandiza aliyense padziko lonse lapansi kuphunzira momwe angachitire chilichonse.